MARK: Welcome to another shitty Monday in the Gate City. You're listening to Happening in Pocatello, the only local podcast that doesn't try to sell you a soul-cleansing crystal at the Saturday market. I'm Mark, your resident voice of cynical reason, and I'm joined by Joleen, who's far too upbeat for a woman living in a city that smells like french fries and despair.

JOLEEN: Oh, fuck off, Mark. It's a glorious Monday, August third, 2026, and I've already had three cups of coffee and seen a deer in my driveway. Pocatello's beautiful if you just stop being such a dickhead about the humidity. We've got a lot to get through today, so don't you dare start dragging us down before we even mention the headlines.

MARK: I'll try to keep my existential dread to a minimum, but no promises. If you want to yell at us or tell us how wrong we are about the local traffic, hit us up at pocatello@thehappeningnetwork.com. We actually check that shit, believe it or not. Also, do the internet dance. Like, subscribe, and leave a comment telling Joleen she's too loud. It helps the algorithm or whatever.

JOLEEN: Anyway, let's jump into the news before the heat takes us out. Our top story this week involves the Bannock County Commissioners finally realizing that maybe, just maybe, they should think before they let every tech giant in the world build a giant air-conditioned box for the internet in our backyard. They've officially approved a 180-day emergency moratorium on data center permits in unincorporated areas.

MARK: It's a classic government move. They've spent months talking about how much they love 'innovation' and 'economic growth,' and now they've hit the panic button for six months. I'm sure the 180-day nap will give them plenty of time to figure out that data centers use an ungodly amount of water and electricity. Who would've thought that storing everyone's cloud-based cat photos would actually require real-world resources?

JOLEEN: The commissioners say they need time to study the resource impacts and develop specific regulations. It's not that they're saying no forever, they're just saying 'not right now, we're busy'. It's honestly kind of smart given the pushback we've seen on previous data center proposals around here. People are worried about their wells going dry just so some AI can learn how to draw better hands.

MARK: Hand-drawing AI is the least of our problems. If we keep building these things, the only thing left in the aquifer will be dust and sadness. Speaking of local developments, did you see the news about the Keetch Made Farm Shop? It's a new family-owned spot near town that's hosting products from sixty-five different vendors. Sixty-five! I didn't even know there were sixty-five people in the county with hobbies.

JOLEEN: I think it's fantastic. Shyann Keetch started it because she wanted healthier options, and now they've got everything from eggs and raw milk to freeze-dried goods and handmade crafts. It's like a permanent farmers market but without the awkward small talk with your high school gym teacher. It's located just outside of town, and it's already becoming a huge hit for people who want to know where their food actually comes from.

MARK: Raw milk, huh? Nothing says 'I like to live dangerously' like unpasteurized dairy. It's like playing liquid Russian roulette with your digestive system. But hey, sixty-five vendors means plenty of options for people who think grocery stores are too mainstream. I'm sure it's a great place to spend forty dollars on a jar of honey and a knitted coaster.

JOLEEN: You're so cynical. It's about supporting local families, Mark. But if you want to talk about people living dangerously, let's shift to the crime report. We've got a real winner this week. A twenty-year-old Pocatello man was charged with felony malicious injury to property. Why, you ask? Because he decided to intentionally run over two Flock license plate reader cameras in the Lowe's parking lot.

MARK: This is my favorite story of the year. This absolute genius used his pickup truck to crush twenty thousand dollars worth of surveillance equipment. The irony, Joleen, is palpable. He's trying to fight the surveillance state by committing a crime in front of... other cameras. Did he think the cameras would just forgive him if he flattened them? 'Oh, you killed my brother, but I'll let you slide this time'?

JOLEEN: The police say he did it on purpose, and the damage is no joke. These Flock cameras are everywhere now, and apparently, they're not cheap. It's a bold strategy to take on the robot uprising by driving over it with a Ford F-150. I'm guessing he wasn't exactly the valedictorian of his class. Speaking of police work, they also arrested a seventy-one-year-old man in a child sex abuse case last Thursday. And guess what helped them find him? One of those Flock cameras tracked his truck.

MARK: So, in one week, we have proof that the cameras actually work for serious shit, and we have a twenty-year-old trying to murder them with his tires. It's a real spectrum of human behavior in this town. If you're going to commit a felony, maybe don't do it in a vehicle that has a giant identifiable metal plate on the back. It's like these people want to get caught.

JOLEEN: It's pure stupidity, honestly. But let's move on to the schools. Pocatello Police had to respond to a reported school threat recently. It's that time of year when everyone gets jumpy because classes are about to start back up. Thankfully, it seems like they handled it quickly, but it's a reminder that the summer peace and quiet is officially over. The kids are coming back, and the chaos is beginning.

MARK: The sound of school buses is basically the funeral march for my morning commute. I'm not looking forward to it. And while the kids are prepping for math, the adults are fighting in court. Former Idaho State events manager George Casper has taken the first legal steps toward an age discrimination lawsuit against the university. He filed a tort claim with the Secretary of State's office on July twentieth.

JOLEEN: This is a big deal because Casper was at ISU for a long time. His attorney says the university failed to follow State Board of Education procedures and caused him emotional distress and economic losses. ISU isn't saying anything yet, but these things usually get messy. It's always a bad look when a long-time employee feels like they were pushed out just because they've seen more than a couple of decades pass.

MARK: ISU declining to comment is the most predictable part of this. They've probably got their lawyers locked in a basement somewhere trying to figure out how to explain why they 'released' him. I've been to enough events at the university to know that Casper was a fixture there. If he wins, the damages could be massive. It's a shitty situation for everyone involved, especially the taxpayers who usually end up footing the bill for these settlements.

JOLEEN: On a lighter sports note, we have a new Hall of Famer. Tressa Lyman-Page was officially announced as an inductee for the 2026 Idaho State Athletics Hall of Fame class. She was a powerhouse for the volleyball program from 2011 to 2015. She even played basketball in her final season and helped the team reach the Big Sky Championship game in 2016. That's the kind of overachiever energy I'm here for.

MARK: Must be nice to be naturally good at two sports while I struggle to walk up the stairs at the Holt Arena without losing my breath. It's a well-deserved honor, though. She's one of the most accomplished players in Big Sky history. It's good to see ISU celebrating their legends, even if they're currently being sued by another one. It's a balanced ecosystem of sports news this week.

JOLEEN: Let's talk food. Since the Keetch Made Farm Shop is the big new thing, I think we should consider it our 'review' for the week. I stopped by there and, honestly, the raw milk didn't kill me. The whole place has this great community vibe. They've got fresh produce that actually looks like it came from the ground and not a plastic factory. It's a nice change of pace from the big box stores.

MARK: I'll stick to my pasteurized milk from a carton like a civilized person, thanks. But I will say, having sixty-five local vendors in one spot is impressive. It's like a mini-convention for people who make sourdough and soap. If they have good jerky, I might be persuaded to visit. Anything is better than another chain restaurant opening up on the north end of town. We've got enough of those to last a lifetime.

JOLEEN: Speaking of things we have enough of, let's talk road construction. The city has a water line installation going on near Howard and Gray off West Alameda Road. It started earlier this summer, but it's still very much a thing you need to watch out for. If you're trying to cut through that neighborhood to avoid the main drags, you're going to have a bad time. It's just more orange cones to add to your collection.

MARK: I'm convinced the city just moves the cones around at night to keep us on our toes. It's not actually construction; it's a social experiment to see how many U-turns we're willing to make before we lose our minds. And the real estate market isn't much better. The city is currently seeking public input for the 2027 to 2031 Housing and Community Development plan. They want to know how to fix the housing mess over the next five years.

JOLEEN: It's an invitation for residents and business owners to help shape the future. If you've been complaining about how expensive it is to live here, now's your chance to tell the city council exactly how much it sucks. They're looking for feedback on community priorities. I'm sure 'cheaper rent' and 'fewer data centers' will be at the top of the list, assuming people actually show up to voice their opinions.

MARK: People will just complain on Facebook instead. It's way more satisfying than filling out a government survey. But if you're looking to buy a house right now, good luck. With the data center moratorium, land prices in the unincorporated areas might get even weirder. It's a strange time to be in the market, especially with the weather being as miserable as it is.

JOLEEN: Oh, let's get into the weather. We've got an Air Quality Alert in effect right now because of all the smoke. It's patchy smoke today with a high of eighty-three, which isn't terrible, but the air is basically a spicy soup. You can really feel it in your lungs if you're outside for too long. My advice? Stay inside and look at photos of clear skies from 2019.

MARK: Eighty-three today feels like a treat because the rest of the week is a goddamn oven. Tomorrow we're looking at eighty-six with more smoke, and by Wednesday, we're up to eighty-nine. But then, Thursday hits ninety-five, and Friday and Saturday are both ninety-eight degrees. Ninety-eight! In a city where half the people don't have central air, that's just cruel and unusual punishment.

JOLEEN: It's going to be brutal. Friday and Saturday are going to be sunny and miserable. Sunday isn't much better with a high of ninety-six. At least the nights are staying somewhat cool, dropping down into the fifties and sixties, but that doesn't help much when the sun is trying to melt your face off during the day. If you don't have to be outside, don't be. Especially with the smoke making everything taste like a campfire.

MARK: And yet, people will still go to all these outdoor events. The Revive at Five concert series is happening this Wednesday at Lookout Point. I can't imagine standing in eighty-nine-degree heat with smoky air to listen to a cover band, but Pocatello loves its free music. If you're going, maybe bring a portable fan and a gas mask. It's a vibe.

JOLEEN: You're such a buzzkill. Revive at Five is a local tradition! And don't forget the First Friday Artwalk this Friday. It's in historic downtown, and even though it'll be ninety-eight degrees, the shops are air-conditioned. You can duck into the galleries, look at some art you can't afford, and soak up the cold air. It's the perfect summer activity for people who hate the summer.

MARK: I'll go for the air conditioning, but I'm skipping the art. Unless someone has a painting of a Flock camera being run over by a truck, I'm not interested. We also have the Shoshone-Bannock Indian Festival starting this Thursday at Fort Hall and running through Sunday. It's a huge event with dancing, food, and history. It's definitely worth the drive, even if the drive involves melting in your car.

JOLEEN: The Sho-Ban Festival is incredible. If you haven't been, you're missing out on some of the best culture in the region. Just be prepared for the crowds and the heat. And for the weekend guide, don't forget the Portneuf Valley Farmer's Market on Saturday morning at Lookout Point. It's the same morning that it's supposed to be ninety-eight, so maybe get there early before the vegetables start to cook themselves on the tables.

MARK: I'll be in my basement with a block of ice and a fan, thanks. But for the rest of you masochists, there's also West Side Story playing at the Palace Theatre throughout the week. It's indoors, it's classic, and it's a great way to avoid the smoke for a couple of hours. Just don't start snapping your fingers in the parking lot or you might get run over by a pickup truck looking for a camera.

JOLEEN: That's a bit dark, Mark. But I guess that's our show for today. We've covered the data centers, the camera-crushing vigilante, the lawsuit at ISU, and the upcoming heatwave that's going to turn us all into human raisins. It's a lot for one Monday, but that's life in Pocatello.

MARK: It's a shitload of news, and we'll be back next week to do it all again. Hopefully, by then, the temperature will be back in the double digits and the air won't look like a chimney. Remember to email us at pocatello@thehappeningnetwork.com with your gripes, your praise, or your best raw milk recipes. We want to hear from you, even the dickheads.

JOLEEN: Especially the dickheads! Like, subscribe, and comment on whatever platform you're using. It really does help us keep this thing going. We love this city, even when we're making fun of it, so thanks for sticking with us. Stay cool out there, drink plenty of water, and try not to drive over any expensive equipment.

MARK: Yeah, stay hydrated and stay out of trouble. We'll see you next Monday for another episode of Happening in Pocatello. Peace out, or whatever people say these days. I'm going to go find a dark room and a cold beer.