56 What is Essential for Catholics to Recover from Porn?

In this episode, Dr. Gerry Crete and Dr. Peter Malinoski review the essentials for Catholics to recover from pornography use. We go deeper into the underlying needs that parts have that create impulses to use pornography and remedies, along with a discussion of milestones and how to recognize progress in recovery.

Show Notes

1. Intro: Welcome to the podcast Interior Integration for Catholics 
   1. Interior Integration for Catholics brings to you in each episode the best psychological information essential for your human formation, knowledge that is fundamental in shoring up the natural foundation for your Catholic spiritual life.  
   2. In this podcast, we confront the tough questions we Catholics have in our day-to-day lives, we confront head on our struggles in the natural realm, the psychological difficulties that keep us from fully loving our Lord and our Lady in a deep, personal, intimate way. 
   3. And we deal with these difficult, demanding issues for one primary reason: to free you to love God our Father, Jesus our Brother, the Holy Spirit and Our Mother Mary more and more over time.  
   4. This podcast helps you focus inward on your interior integration -- to help you bring together the different parts of yourself into unity and harmony with God.
   5. 'Together, we are on a journey toward deep transformation in our mindsets, our heartsets and our bodysets, a radical transformation at the core of our being so that our souls can one day enter into contemplative union with God. 
   6. I’m clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here with you, to be your host and guide.  
   7. This podcast is part of Souls and Hearts, our online outreach at soulsandhearts.com, which is all about shoring up our natural foundation for the Catholic spiritual life, all about overcoming psychological obstacles to being loved and to loving God and neighbor
   8. This is episode 56, released on February 22, 2021
   9. This is the eighth episode in our series on sexuality and the second one on Pornography.  
   10. And it is titled: What is Essential for Catholics to Recover from Porn?
   11. And I am really happy to have Dr. Gerry Crete, past president of the Catholic Psychological Association and the CEO and co-founder of Souls and Hearts with me for this episode

 

1. Recognize that the fantasy involved in the pornography choices represent a dynamic that seeks to meet the unmet need
    
   1. Safety
2.  
   1. Attachment injuries
3.  
   1. Being seen
4.  
   1. Seeing others
5.  
   1. Connection
6.  
   1. Sense of “power” or agency
7.  
   1. Traumatic re-enactment
8.  
   1. The fantasy may provide a temporary answer to those needs while avoiding the pain
9.  
   1. Allow him to experience having his needs met in a healthy way
10.  
    1. What new information can you share with him
11.  
    1. What new role or position can the protector have now
12.  
    1. Recognize the courage it takes for the protector to seek a new role and embrace change
13.  
    1. Allow time to grieve the losses that pornography use has brought
        
       1. Recognize negative effects of pornography or other sexual acting out behavior in one’s life
    2.  
14. 
    
    1. Prepare to make reparations
        
       1. Wife/Family
    2.  
       1. Self
    3.  
       1. Others
    4.  
       1. God
    5.  
15. 
    
    1. Invite protector to grow and embrace freedom – recognize there will be a period of growth – it will need time and patience. Commit to being by his side
16.  
    1. What does it mean for the parts to be “in recovery”
        
       1. The self is present – better connections with others
    2.  
       1. Completing tasks with a sense of completion rather than trying to escape pain (life)
    3.  
       1. Ability to set goals and focus on them rather than obsession with momentary perceived needs
    4.  
       1. Willingness to receive feedback
    5.  
       1. Ability to recognize time rather than entering into a blackhole of time
    6.  
       1. Finds meaning in activities and relationships
    7.  
17. 
    

What is Interior Integration for Catholics?

The mission of this podcast is the formation of your heart in love and for love, Together, we shore up the natural, human foundation for your spiritual formation as a Catholic. St. Thomas Aquinas asserts that without this inner unity, without this interior integration, without ordered self-love, you cannot enter loving union with God, your Blessed Mother, or your neighbor. Informed by Internal Family Systems approaches and grounded firmly in a Catholic understanding of the human person, this podcast brings you the best information, the illuminating stories, and the experiential exercises you need to become more whole in the natural realm. This restored human formation then frees you to better live out the three loves in the two Great Commandments – loving God, your neighbor, and yourself. Check out the Resilient Catholics Community which grew up around this podcast at https://www.soulsandhearts.com/rcc.