WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:09.690 --> 00:00:13.110 Cailin: Welcome everyone to Faith and Purpose podcast. 00:00:13.870 --> 00:00:19.050 Each episode of this podcast contains the personal testimony of an ordinary person 00:00:19.069 --> 00:00:21.810 transformed by an extraordinary God. 00:00:22.480 --> 00:00:25.640 My name is Caitlin and I'm here to introduce this podcast 00:00:25.650 --> 00:00:27.180 for my friend Jesse Duke. 00:00:27.790 --> 00:00:33.479 Jesse is a husband, father, author, life recovery guide, lay counselor, 00:00:33.739 --> 00:00:37.819 and small group leader, but his most important role is disciple. 00:00:38.259 --> 00:00:39.589 As a disciple of Jesus. 00:00:40.190 --> 00:00:44.280 Jesse created this podcast to help other believers tell their faith stories. 00:00:44.830 --> 00:00:48.629 We'll be hearing the personal testimonies of all sorts of people 00:00:48.629 --> 00:00:52.560 who have one thing in common, Jesus has transformed their lives. 00:00:53.465 --> 00:00:57.555 Jesus used parables because he created us to learn best through story. 00:00:57.985 --> 00:01:02.775 And as we listen to how God has worked in others lives, we find encouragement 00:01:02.785 --> 00:01:05.075 and inspiration for our own faith walk. 00:01:05.564 --> 00:01:09.935 Whether you are already a believer, or just a curious seeker, we believe that 00:01:09.955 --> 00:01:14.244 as you listen to these stories, you will be encouraged on your own faith journey. 00:01:14.544 --> 00:01:18.794 We are sure that God can speak to you through one of these episodes, and that 00:01:18.794 --> 00:01:22.464 you will see that our Heavenly Father truly works all things together for 00:01:22.464 --> 00:01:27.360 our good, When we simply love and trust him if you are currently going through 00:01:27.400 --> 00:01:31.700 a trial We believe that you will come to see that your troubles Heartbreaks 00:01:31.720 --> 00:01:36.750 and failures are not gravestones, but stepping stones into new life in Christ. 00:01:37.180 --> 00:01:39.170 Here's Jesse with today's guest 00:01:51.618 --> 00:01:52.908 Hey, this is Jessie duke. 00:01:53.508 --> 00:01:53.898 Today. 00:01:53.898 --> 00:01:58.938 We're very fortunate to have Allie Waller to interview my wife, Becky duke. 00:01:59.508 --> 00:02:01.128 I think you're gonna enjoy this. 00:02:03.324 --> 00:02:04.964 Ally: Well, hello, everyone. 00:02:04.994 --> 00:02:10.217 My name's Allie Waller, and I'm here with my Aunt Becky to 00:02:10.357 --> 00:02:12.517 hear her story this afternoon. 00:02:13.937 --> 00:02:19.281 one thing that I remember when I was actually young, Aunt Becky, started 00:02:19.291 --> 00:02:22.811 getting everyone's marriage stories and she ended up publishing a book 00:02:22.831 --> 00:02:27.621 of marriage stories And so that has always been special to me that she 00:02:27.921 --> 00:02:32.211 found it very important to get to know everyone's story So I'm excited 00:02:32.211 --> 00:02:34.621 today to hear a lot of her story. 00:02:34.951 --> 00:02:36.501 So hello aunt Becky 00:02:37.171 --> 00:02:37.581 Allie. 00:02:37.581 --> 00:02:39.271 It's so great to be with you. 00:02:39.351 --> 00:02:41.221 You know, I love to be with you. 00:02:41.806 --> 00:02:43.086 Becky: And I love to be with you. 00:02:43.341 --> 00:02:43.921 Ally: Thank you. 00:02:44.446 --> 00:02:48.936 Well, tell us a little bit about yourself and a little bit about your story. 00:02:50.057 --> 00:02:50.807 Okay. 00:02:51.057 --> 00:02:56.267 Well, in, in thinking about my story and what we would talk about today, 00:02:56.777 --> 00:02:59.507 the the word that came up was, hope. 00:03:00.381 --> 00:03:06.655 I'm a person of hope and I always hope for a better future or for upliftment 00:03:06.655 --> 00:03:12.324 or hope, hope in God or hope in my family, hope in a better world. 00:03:12.704 --> 00:03:17.344 So, that's, that's kind of where I want to start. 00:03:17.984 --> 00:03:21.974 I'll just tell you about my life and there have been many times in my life 00:03:21.974 --> 00:03:26.374 when I, just couldn't, feel the hope. 00:03:27.764 --> 00:03:29.504 Those times have been rare. 00:03:30.494 --> 00:03:32.304 And so, anyway, I'll begin. 00:03:32.304 --> 00:03:36.284 I, I was born in Mullins, South Carolina. 00:03:37.264 --> 00:03:40.664 And I was raised in Lakeview, South Carolina. 00:03:41.474 --> 00:03:48.024 My parents, Jesse and Anna Frances Ford, raised five children. 00:03:48.244 --> 00:03:49.994 And I'm the middle of the five. 00:03:50.940 --> 00:03:54.060 I have lots of, uh, nieces and nephews. 00:03:54.060 --> 00:03:56.320 I mean a lot of nieces and nephews. 00:03:57.200 --> 00:04:00.140 And my family has always kept me grounded. 00:04:01.835 --> 00:04:04.745 , When I was a little girl, I was a precocious little girl. 00:04:05.675 --> 00:04:14.505 I did, I did things that I'm sure my mother, uh, was concerned about. 00:04:14.505 --> 00:04:17.695 One thing I remember is her telling me that I ran away when 00:04:17.695 --> 00:04:19.565 I was about four years old. 00:04:20.165 --> 00:04:25.215 I ran away to my grandmother's house, and, because my sister was there and I 00:04:25.215 --> 00:04:30.155 wanted to be there too, and she said, Mama said that someone called her and 00:04:30.155 --> 00:04:35.205 said that I had, uh, crossed a highway, and she thought, she wasn't sure it 00:04:35.205 --> 00:04:37.225 was me, but she wanted Mother to check. 00:04:37.225 --> 00:04:38.175 Heh heh. 00:04:38.265 --> 00:04:38.625 my. 00:04:39.190 --> 00:04:41.450 Indeed it was me, it was me, 00:04:41.870 --> 00:04:43.020 And you survived that 00:04:43.185 --> 00:04:50.115 I survived that one, and then later on as, when I was a little bit older, I, 00:04:50.305 --> 00:04:55.005 mama took me to church for some type of bible study as a little girl, little, 00:04:55.075 --> 00:04:57.205 little little girl, I mean, really young. 00:04:58.720 --> 00:05:05.110 I decided after the service that there, I wanted to go to the, uh, big auditorium 00:05:05.440 --> 00:05:07.600 where people were having another service. 00:05:07.980 --> 00:05:12.780 So instead of waiting for mom or whatever, I just walked into 00:05:12.780 --> 00:05:15.300 the building and had a seat. 00:05:16.170 --> 00:05:18.450 And how did I know that that was not a good thing? 00:05:19.765 --> 00:05:24.560 The police came in and picked me up and told me I needed 00:05:24.680 --> 00:05:26.210 to go talk to my mom and dad. 00:05:26.680 --> 00:05:27.240 Becky: Oh no. 00:05:28.360 --> 00:05:32.490 Ally: I was having a good time listening to a service, uh, you know, and it 00:05:32.490 --> 00:05:34.370 sounded like a good thing to me. 00:05:36.670 --> 00:05:39.590 Anyway, I was born in a small hometown. 00:05:40.520 --> 00:05:45.560 It was a farming community, and, being small, it felt more like 00:05:45.560 --> 00:05:47.990 a big family than a small town. 00:05:48.292 --> 00:05:55.342 And, in the summers, we took vacations, to the beach, and, I remember things 00:05:55.342 --> 00:06:01.162 like going to Bible school, Mom and Dad had us go to Bible school, and, when 00:06:01.162 --> 00:06:06.802 I was in elementary school, I, I loved learning, and I didn't mind studying, 00:06:07.162 --> 00:06:11.652 and the teachers would have me help other people in class, if they got 00:06:11.652 --> 00:06:13.888 stuck, and Let's say a math problem. 00:06:14.078 --> 00:06:15.518 And I love doing that. 00:06:15.578 --> 00:06:16.978 I love doing that. 00:06:18.608 --> 00:06:28.888 So, going back to our vacations in the summertime, in about 1954 or 5, I think 00:06:28.888 --> 00:06:34.308 it's 55, my parents started taking us to Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina, 00:06:34.318 --> 00:06:38.798 about an hour away, they didn't know that they were starting a tradition. 00:06:39.311 --> 00:06:45.371 And, uh, a tradition that has lasted almost 70 years. 00:06:45.841 --> 00:06:50.441 Our family, this family, mom and dad's children, grandchildren, and 00:06:50.441 --> 00:06:53.831 so on, have kept up this tradition. 00:06:53.831 --> 00:07:00.181 So once a year we meet at Ocean Isle Beach for a week, sometimes two weeks. 00:07:00.961 --> 00:07:02.381 And you're a part of that, and 00:07:03.586 --> 00:07:04.076 Becky: Yes. 00:07:04.571 --> 00:07:06.161 Ally: that, haven't we, Allie? 00:07:06.316 --> 00:07:06.686 Becky: Yes. 00:07:06.696 --> 00:07:09.316 It's very, it's a very, very special time. 00:07:10.036 --> 00:07:14.216 And a lot of people say, how can, how can you be that with your family that long? 00:07:14.746 --> 00:07:15.726 Well, we do. 00:07:15.786 --> 00:07:16.246 And it's a 00:07:16.246 --> 00:07:16.726 blast. 00:07:17.851 --> 00:07:18.671 Ally: Yes it is. 00:07:19.896 --> 00:07:23.286 And you know, there are ups and downs in any family, but, but our 00:07:23.286 --> 00:07:24.966 family just works through them. 00:07:25.876 --> 00:07:29.656 You know, they take space if they need it, whatever, but they work through 00:07:29.661 --> 00:07:33.606 it and we seem to get along real well. 00:07:34.246 --> 00:07:39.496 Um, I think that's the blessing of the parents we've had, you know. 00:07:39.902 --> 00:07:46.408 And the parents of nieces and nephews So going back to 00:07:46.408 --> 00:07:48.388 elementary school, I enjoyed school. 00:07:48.478 --> 00:07:50.558 And I enjoyed church. 00:07:51.298 --> 00:07:56.588 And school and church at that time, this was in the 50s and 60s. 00:07:56.768 --> 00:08:00.818 That was our life in a small community like we live in. 00:08:00.988 --> 00:08:02.098 That was my life. 00:08:02.858 --> 00:08:05.348 I liked extracurricular things. 00:08:06.208 --> 00:08:08.978 Learned to play the piano when I was in second grade. 00:08:09.058 --> 00:08:13.758 And so by the time I was older, the church needed a pianist, 00:08:13.758 --> 00:08:16.038 so they asked me to be that. 00:08:16.808 --> 00:08:20.428 And I did that, I guess, through my twelfth grade year. 00:08:20.638 --> 00:08:26.598 And enjoyed that and, um, I enjoyed being in trios in church 00:08:26.628 --> 00:08:29.218 with my sister and my girlfriend. 00:08:30.298 --> 00:08:36.768 And, thinking about elementary school too, I loved recess because I liked to be 00:08:36.798 --> 00:08:43.928 outside and I liked to be, and at that age I loved to be playing sports like softball 00:08:43.928 --> 00:08:46.698 and, um, anything I could do outside. 00:08:46.698 --> 00:08:50.248 There were swings and there were monkey bars and we played 00:08:50.248 --> 00:08:53.118 on the monkey bars and, um. 00:08:54.213 --> 00:08:59.363 Had good teachers, was really cared about and loved. 00:08:59.883 --> 00:09:03.803 One teacher I had in fourth grade, she lived near the school. 00:09:04.383 --> 00:09:08.253 And she was, she was always sending me on errands to her house. 00:09:09.258 --> 00:09:09.928 Becky: Oh, wow. 00:09:10.153 --> 00:09:11.303 Ally: do that anymore. 00:09:11.323 --> 00:09:14.178 That is not something that People do. 00:09:14.578 --> 00:09:17.728 But I walked through her house, went into her house, got what 00:09:17.738 --> 00:09:19.568 she needed, brought it back. 00:09:20.248 --> 00:09:22.628 So that's a good memory of, Mrs. 00:09:22.698 --> 00:09:24.508 Eatman, my fourth grade teacher. 00:09:24.938 --> 00:09:26.428 Becky: She must have trusted you to let her 00:09:26.428 --> 00:09:28.508 go, let you go all the way to her house. 00:09:28.818 --> 00:09:31.438 Ally: uh, yeah, she was wonderful. 00:09:32.568 --> 00:09:39.328 And, um, so high school came along, and I'm a type of person, I just 00:09:39.328 --> 00:09:40.858 like to be involved in things. 00:09:40.908 --> 00:09:43.048 I've always been like that, and I still am. 00:09:43.058 --> 00:09:47.215 But, when I was in high school, I was, in a Dixieland band, it 00:09:47.215 --> 00:09:48.735 was called the Swing Dingers. 00:09:49.225 --> 00:09:49.935 And we traveled. 00:09:50.635 --> 00:09:56.575 Really in o into other states as these young musicians just having a good time. 00:09:56.935 --> 00:09:59.665 And people seemed to enjoy that Dixon land music. 00:10:00.175 --> 00:10:02.145 So We had fun doing that. 00:10:02.885 --> 00:10:09.305 I was in four HI, I was in a lot of clubs in high school, FH, a future, uh, 00:10:09.965 --> 00:10:12.605 future Homemaker, which turned into Ft. 00:10:12.605 --> 00:10:16.475 A Future teacher, I ended up being a teacher. 00:10:17.390 --> 00:10:21.980 Uh, for 42 years, actually, in the public and private schools. 00:10:22.020 --> 00:10:27.830 But anyway, these clubs encouraged me to do the things in life I, I needed 00:10:27.830 --> 00:10:33.200 to do and wanted to do and, and God had blessed me with the skills to do. 00:10:33.330 --> 00:10:40.820 So, I played basketball in high school, probably in middle, junior, they 00:10:40.820 --> 00:10:42.970 called it junior high at that time. 00:10:43.845 --> 00:10:46.525 Grade 7 through 12 went to the high school. 00:10:47.235 --> 00:10:51.925 And, um, anyway, I played basketball and, um, I was very active. 00:10:51.925 --> 00:10:53.735 I, uh, I was a cheerleader. 00:10:53.735 --> 00:10:55.195 I enjoyed being a cheerleader. 00:10:55.685 --> 00:10:58.065 I was in band and I enjoyed that. 00:10:58.065 --> 00:10:59.615 I, I love music. 00:10:59.775 --> 00:11:00.865 I'm a musician. 00:11:00.875 --> 00:11:02.605 Of course, of course, I love music. 00:11:02.975 --> 00:11:03.485 Becky: Yes. 00:11:03.575 --> 00:11:10.025 Ally: and I, I had not yet learned to say no in my life to different 00:11:10.065 --> 00:11:12.005 things that people asked me to do. 00:11:12.585 --> 00:11:14.485 So, God was working on me. 00:11:14.795 --> 00:11:17.725 He gave me a very challenging senior year. 00:11:18.605 --> 00:11:23.145 And I don't think I breathed that year because I was just, 00:11:23.565 --> 00:11:26.035 I was in so much activity. 00:11:26.375 --> 00:11:28.595 So, uh, that taught me a good lesson. 00:11:28.655 --> 00:11:29.125 It taught me. 00:11:29.635 --> 00:11:33.215 Becky, you have to say no and you have to limit yourself. 00:11:33.825 --> 00:11:38.709 But one of those things that I loved doing also in high school was 4 H. 00:11:38.909 --> 00:11:41.509 I ended up being state 4 H president. 00:11:41.519 --> 00:11:46.179 So, I was invited to go to State Congress in Washington. 00:11:46.869 --> 00:11:52.159 Uh, two 4 H members from each state were picked to go to 4 H Congress. 00:11:52.819 --> 00:11:57.299 And we went to Washington and were treated just royally. 00:11:58.009 --> 00:12:02.249 And that gave me so much confidence, I guess you could say. 00:12:02.649 --> 00:12:04.509 It increased my confidence. 00:12:04.829 --> 00:12:06.369 I never was a good speaker. 00:12:07.479 --> 00:12:11.734 I never was, but I You know, I'd have to speak at the end. 00:12:11.924 --> 00:12:15.734 I didn't feel confident doing that, but I did. 00:12:16.985 --> 00:12:21.295 And So, I've told you pretty much about my high school years, and 00:12:21.295 --> 00:12:24.305 then I went to a college, called Winthrop in South Carolina. 00:12:24.315 --> 00:12:32.045 It was a girls school at that time, and um, I know that I began to 00:12:32.045 --> 00:12:37.395 pull away from God's presence in my life during these years, because I, 00:12:37.865 --> 00:12:44.730 unfortunately, I was not so happy at Winthrop, uh, during those years. 00:12:45.230 --> 00:12:48.260 It's a different school now, it's a wonderful school, but 00:12:48.690 --> 00:12:51.180 at that time it, I had no car. 00:12:51.560 --> 00:12:53.610 I actually had no way of getting to church. 00:12:53.610 --> 00:12:58.010 I, I think, just not having enough church activity just kind 00:12:58.010 --> 00:13:00.730 of drew me back into the world. 00:13:01.360 --> 00:13:05.880 And long hours of study, and I had to study hard. 00:13:06.844 --> 00:13:11.114 and really not enough outside activities. 00:13:12.199 --> 00:13:17.979 And, the church I did go to was very unfulfilling, it just 00:13:17.979 --> 00:13:19.649 didn't feel right in my heart. 00:13:20.539 --> 00:13:25.939 So I couldn't get close to the, I guess you could say the 00:13:25.939 --> 00:13:28.609 congregation, it just, anyway. 00:13:29.579 --> 00:13:34.819 So what I decided to do then was to finish college in three years, which a 00:13:34.819 --> 00:13:36.819 lot of girls at that time were doing. 00:13:37.459 --> 00:13:40.929 So I, I did finish in three years, I had to go summer and winter. 00:13:41.964 --> 00:13:47.284 And that, too, I think, cut into my, spiritual growth. 00:13:47.904 --> 00:13:54.444 I think the times in our lives that we, uh, kind of are real close to God, and 00:13:54.444 --> 00:13:56.734 then we draw back, and we're not as close. 00:13:57.274 --> 00:14:00.434 And then we get close again, and then we draw back, and we're not as close. 00:14:00.444 --> 00:14:05.434 So, I was in, when I was in college, I was in one of those periods, I just would not. 00:14:07.569 --> 00:14:08.719 Feeling close. 00:14:10.349 --> 00:14:16.229 So, when I was in college, I, um, my courses were an elementary education. 00:14:16.959 --> 00:14:21.733 I knew I wanted to be a teacher and I had taking care of children at, 00:14:22.073 --> 00:14:28.363 at church when I was in high school and middle school I had taught 00:14:28.413 --> 00:14:31.003 little classes and things like that. 00:14:31.613 --> 00:14:36.233 So teaching just seemed to be a normal thing for me, so that's what I 00:14:36.233 --> 00:14:38.203 became, an elementary school teacher. 00:14:39.133 --> 00:14:43.873 And my first teaching job when I graduated from college was 00:14:43.873 --> 00:14:45.333 in Beaufort, South Carolina. 00:14:46.708 --> 00:14:47.418 And St. 00:14:47.428 --> 00:14:50.388 Helen is an island off of, uh, Buford. 00:14:51.278 --> 00:14:55.268 And it was during this time Our schools were beginning to integrate. 00:14:55.998 --> 00:15:01.528 And, uh, my last year of high school, and through these college years, 00:15:01.938 --> 00:15:05.668 and then the first years of teaching were all years of integration. 00:15:06.418 --> 00:15:09.668 And so what they did with me when I went to Buford, I taught. 00:15:10.708 --> 00:15:13.438 And what at that time was considered a white school. 00:15:14.268 --> 00:15:17.098 And they integrated the teachers and they sent me to St. 00:15:17.098 --> 00:15:18.268 Helena's Island. 00:15:18.878 --> 00:15:21.938 to be in what at that time was called a black school. 00:15:22.448 --> 00:15:26.178 So teachers were integrating first and then the students 00:15:26.178 --> 00:15:28.168 were gradually integrating. 00:15:28.918 --> 00:15:35.448 Uh, it was a, it was a wonderful time in my life because I loved, I loved the 00:15:35.448 --> 00:15:38.498 schools that I was, uh, teaching in. 00:15:38.548 --> 00:15:40.558 Both, both of the schools in Beaufort. 00:15:42.298 --> 00:15:47.668 But in this time of my life, I was putting God on a back burner. 00:15:47.668 --> 00:15:49.618 I mean, I knew God was in my life. 00:15:49.978 --> 00:15:53.838 I knew I could call on God, but I did not, um. 00:15:53.918 --> 00:15:59.128 I didn't do much studying and much, I didn't have a passion 00:15:59.918 --> 00:16:02.258 to, study more, you know. 00:16:02.923 --> 00:16:06.103 Becky: Had you found a church at this point or not? 00:16:06.568 --> 00:16:10.348 Ally: Not one that I felt close to, to go into again. 00:16:11.018 --> 00:16:14.658 I don't know if that was me or if it was the church, I think it was me, you know. 00:16:15.498 --> 00:16:19.758 I was going, I was in my 20s and 20s are not easy. 00:16:20.528 --> 00:16:22.408 20s are just not easy. 00:16:22.428 --> 00:16:31.051 So, I was kind of, out of the, uh, passion for church and pulled 00:16:31.051 --> 00:16:35.301 into the worldly things that were going on as a young, single woman. 00:16:35.851 --> 00:16:42.731 I just wanted to do different things, go to parties, um, travel a 00:16:42.731 --> 00:16:47.621 little bit, um, but in the meantime of doing all that, I met my first 00:16:47.621 --> 00:16:50.891 husband, Joe, and he was a character. 00:16:50.931 --> 00:16:58.186 I was really attracted to him and he he was in my rancor and he, Uh, was 00:16:58.196 --> 00:17:07.376 stationed there and so we ended up marrying and it, it was, the marriage 00:17:07.416 --> 00:17:12.236 ended up not being good because alcohol was involved in the marriage. 00:17:13.066 --> 00:17:16.676 And I didn't know during the 70 years I was married to him 00:17:16.676 --> 00:17:19.036 that there were drugs too. 00:17:19.036 --> 00:17:21.146 I, I had no idea that was going on. 00:17:21.836 --> 00:17:30.541 So it caused a real schism in our And we just ended up not liking each other. 00:17:31.361 --> 00:17:33.751 And that, that's the honest truth. 00:17:33.751 --> 00:17:36.951 I don't know how to express it any better. 00:17:37.631 --> 00:17:39.951 Although I know he was a good person at heart. 00:17:40.541 --> 00:17:45.581 Um, the, that, the addictions I would call them, uh, were. 00:17:48.371 --> 00:17:52.921 And after seven years, we did divorce and so then I went 00:17:52.971 --> 00:17:59.851 into, uh, I went to a Christian counselor and he really helped me. 00:18:00.771 --> 00:18:04.361 I began, he helped me to get my self confidence back because I had 00:18:04.361 --> 00:18:07.251 lost a lot of that in this marriage. 00:18:07.911 --> 00:18:14.296 And, um, and then I Um, one way I helped myself, also, besides getting 00:18:14.296 --> 00:18:18.696 the counseling, I got on a tour bus and toured all the way across the 00:18:18.706 --> 00:18:21.786 United States and around and, and back. 00:18:21.786 --> 00:18:24.686 It was probably about a two or three week tour. 00:18:25.516 --> 00:18:32.236 And it gave me a chance to, to kind of focus on how I had been drawn into that 00:18:32.236 --> 00:18:35.286 marriage, what had, uh, gone wrong. 00:18:36.001 --> 00:18:44.101 Uh, what, my part in it, what I could do to try to change my life, and, 00:18:44.401 --> 00:18:46.891 and it, that trip really helped. 00:18:47.451 --> 00:18:53.351 So, I was single for the next five years, and I spent that time. 00:18:53.739 --> 00:19:03.099 Honestly, improving myself, being honest with my, downfalls, and, so it began a 00:19:03.099 --> 00:19:08.199 new journey for me, it began a journey in trying to figure out why I was here 00:19:08.199 --> 00:19:15.319 on this earth, what was my purpose, and what did, what were my belief systems, 00:19:15.369 --> 00:19:19.979 what was truly my belief system, not something that had been taught to me, 00:19:20.339 --> 00:19:26.064 but something I believed in my heart, So I, began to study world religions 00:19:26.104 --> 00:19:31.484 because I wanted to find out how those religions, what they had in common. 00:19:32.454 --> 00:19:44.334 And so, I, You know, I ended up studying, and I ended up, um, meeting a person 00:19:45.084 --> 00:19:48.474 who kind of soared me into a new life. 00:19:49.024 --> 00:19:49.784 And that was Dr. 00:19:49.784 --> 00:19:50.634 Helen Billings. 00:19:50.644 --> 00:19:53.554 She was founder of the Montessori Institute of America. 00:19:54.074 --> 00:19:58.224 I heard her speak one night, and she said to me, she said, Thank you, Becky. 00:19:59.409 --> 00:20:03.789 No, I went to her, I asked to have lunch with her one day. 00:20:03.790 --> 00:20:08.839 And at that lunch she said to me, after we talked about two or three hours, 00:20:08.859 --> 00:20:11.649 she said, You need me and I need you. 00:20:12.409 --> 00:20:16.339 I need you to go overseas for me and help start a monastery 00:20:16.339 --> 00:20:19.279 school in Jerusalem, Israel. 00:20:20.529 --> 00:20:22.399 And you need me. 00:20:22.894 --> 00:20:26.434 because you need to take the Montessori training through me. 00:20:27.554 --> 00:20:29.274 This will prepare you to go. 00:20:29.274 --> 00:20:34.054 Now, you don't have to teach, but I want you to oversee three teachers. 00:20:34.054 --> 00:20:38.374 And they were three Palestinian teachers who were being trained here in the 00:20:38.374 --> 00:20:41.194 United States in Kansas City, Missouri. 00:20:41.544 --> 00:20:46.334 And I was to go back with them and help set up the school that 00:20:46.334 --> 00:20:51.529 they So, I did that for a year. 00:20:53.009 --> 00:20:55.159 Certainly a turning point in my life. 00:20:55.309 --> 00:20:57.059 Bringing me closer to God. 00:20:58.209 --> 00:21:03.899 Uh, I think, having worked on myself internally, I was able 00:21:03.999 --> 00:21:07.669 to get closer to God, actually. 00:21:08.769 --> 00:21:12.729 And, well, now I know that God lives in me, but at that time, 00:21:12.889 --> 00:21:14.689 that was not really clear to me. 00:21:15.674 --> 00:21:23.434 So, I went to Israel and I actually was overseen by the Christian 00:21:23.434 --> 00:21:29.404 brothers, who ran the school where the monastery, sorry, school was. 00:21:29.754 --> 00:21:33.164 It was inside the old city of Jerusalem at Newgate. 00:21:33.994 --> 00:21:37.714 And, um, so I live with a Muslim family. 00:21:38.414 --> 00:21:40.654 An older woman, she was in her 80s. 00:21:40.944 --> 00:21:42.874 She rented out her apartments. 00:21:43.474 --> 00:21:48.469 And the Christian brothers would invite me at times to eat with them 00:21:49.069 --> 00:21:53.149 because I, I really didn't have a kitchen in my apartment or anything. 00:21:53.639 --> 00:21:59.439 So, what I learned about, um, Christian fellowship sometimes 00:21:59.719 --> 00:22:01.359 is they have problems too. 00:22:01.699 --> 00:22:11.363 And, and that was a, a, a really important, uh, because I realized that, 00:22:11.363 --> 00:22:17.483 um, there was goodness everywhere, but there was also turmoil in a 00:22:17.483 --> 00:22:22.503 lot of these, uh, communities, I would say, Christian communities. 00:22:23.613 --> 00:22:24.853 but they were good to me. 00:22:24.993 --> 00:22:26.303 They took me on tours. 00:22:26.303 --> 00:22:28.713 They fed me many times. 00:22:29.313 --> 00:22:37.923 Um, they let me, Celebrate some of their, um, celebrations with them. 00:22:38.563 --> 00:22:41.123 Uh, and they were not used to having a woman around. 00:22:41.463 --> 00:22:44.133 So, this was a big deal for them. 00:22:44.393 --> 00:22:45.963 And it certainly was for me. 00:22:46.743 --> 00:22:49.673 And, uh, but God led me through that. 00:22:49.673 --> 00:22:51.333 And I knew God was with me. 00:22:51.693 --> 00:22:53.123 Leading me through all of that. 00:22:54.748 --> 00:22:57.278 Becky: So that, you were there for, for one year. 00:22:57.638 --> 00:22:58.798 Ally: I was there for a year. 00:22:59.248 --> 00:22:59.698 Becky: Okay. 00:23:00.448 --> 00:23:05.368 Ally: Yeah, And then I came home, when I came home to the United States, the 00:23:05.368 --> 00:23:11.118 people who, from Kansas City, friends of mine who owned a Montessori school, 00:23:11.538 --> 00:23:15.958 they oversaw me in, in Jerusalem, and when I came home, they wanted me to go 00:23:15.958 --> 00:23:18.928 to Kansas City and work in their school. 00:23:19.788 --> 00:23:24.058 They had an opening and, So, I did that. 00:23:24.128 --> 00:23:25.548 I thought that was wonderful. 00:23:25.808 --> 00:23:28.638 I've always had this, uh, wanderlust. 00:23:29.068 --> 00:23:31.018 Just like when I was a little girl. 00:23:33.688 --> 00:23:34.788 Doing things on my own. 00:23:34.798 --> 00:23:35.888 Going places on my own. 00:23:36.338 --> 00:23:38.548 That has always been in my life. 00:23:39.433 --> 00:23:45.183 So, I went, I went to Kansas City, not knowing how long I'd be there. 00:23:45.933 --> 00:23:48.873 Ended up being there for about five, six years. 00:23:48.903 --> 00:23:53.003 I think I was, six years I worked in a monastery school there. 00:23:53.793 --> 00:23:58.963 And, while I was there, um, a lot of peace came in my life. 00:23:58.993 --> 00:24:01.553 I found a church called Unity Church. 00:24:02.093 --> 00:24:04.013 It's not Unitarian, it's Unity. 00:24:04.023 --> 00:24:11.353 Unity is a Christian church, and it taught me a softer vocabulary. 00:24:11.403 --> 00:24:14.523 I guess you could say a softer way of worship. 00:24:15.303 --> 00:24:18.763 And it appealed to me very, very much. 00:24:19.253 --> 00:24:25.098 And so I would go to hear speakers and And they brought up, brought 00:24:25.098 --> 00:24:29.378 in some pretty interesting speakers and it just changed my life. 00:24:29.378 --> 00:24:33.818 Another avenue of changing my life, turning me around, pointing 00:24:33.838 --> 00:24:36.188 me toward God again, yeah. 00:24:37.278 --> 00:24:42.798 And so a good thing that happened is that in one of their courses, they call it 00:24:42.808 --> 00:24:46.458 the Course in Miracles, I met my husband. 00:24:48.233 --> 00:24:51.503 thing that ever happened to me in my life is meeting this man. 00:24:52.293 --> 00:24:54.093 And he was, he was in the chorus. 00:24:54.093 --> 00:24:55.943 We were sitting around in a circle. 00:24:56.253 --> 00:24:57.173 I didn't know him. 00:24:57.173 --> 00:24:58.013 He didn't know me. 00:24:58.543 --> 00:25:00.253 But we started talking. 00:25:00.253 --> 00:25:06.248 And it didn't take a whole lot of talk for me to realize what a good man he is. 00:25:06.668 --> 00:25:14.442 He is and was, and he was going to Theological School to become a minister. 00:25:15.252 --> 00:25:21.142 Um, there was a point in there where he decided that was not for him, but, um, he 00:25:21.162 --> 00:25:25.662 still went to the, went to his speakers and went to these courses and all. 00:25:25.992 --> 00:25:27.472 It's a wonderful philosophy. 00:25:27.892 --> 00:25:30.642 It started in the late 1800s. 00:25:31.772 --> 00:25:34.072 with, Myrtle Filmore and her husband. 00:25:34.772 --> 00:25:36.382 And they had a gift of healing. 00:25:37.192 --> 00:25:38.502 She had a gift of healing. 00:25:38.972 --> 00:25:43.522 And people would come to her house and, through Jesus Christ she would heal them. 00:25:44.052 --> 00:25:49.662 So, there I was in the 19, 80s, going to this, unity gathering. 00:25:50.938 --> 00:25:54.838 I also was very fortunate not only to meet my husband, but to 00:25:54.848 --> 00:25:59.392 meet my spiritual leader, who taught me so much about myself. 00:26:00.082 --> 00:26:06.115 And he was, boldly honest with me and he, you know, when I would be talking 00:26:06.115 --> 00:26:10.025 to him, like you talk to a counselor, he would stop me and he would say, 00:26:10.035 --> 00:26:11.465 now, you know, that's not true. 00:26:11.475 --> 00:26:18.385 What you're saying about this, this, this, this, and it, it, it transformed me. 00:26:19.235 --> 00:26:24.505 That's the only, that's the best word to, to, this experience with 00:26:24.965 --> 00:26:26.825 this, uh, teacher called Steve. 00:26:27.095 --> 00:26:28.025 His name is Steve. 00:26:28.535 --> 00:26:31.445 He had a lot of people he was working with at that time. 00:26:32.105 --> 00:26:37.345 We became friends and, uh, did things together and it was, it was really good 00:26:37.345 --> 00:26:40.595 for, for me to have that experience. 00:26:42.282 --> 00:26:47.655 in the meantime, Jessie's dad passed away in Tampa, Florida. 00:26:48.445 --> 00:26:56.525 And so Jesse and I decided to move back to the southeast to be near our families. 00:26:56.815 --> 00:27:00.365 My family is in South Carolina and his was in Tampa, Florida. 00:27:00.645 --> 00:27:02.785 So we moved in between those two. 00:27:03.625 --> 00:27:08.335 towns, And we found a wonderful place to live. 00:27:09.145 --> 00:27:11.395 It's called Amelia Island, Florida. 00:27:11.785 --> 00:27:17.335 It's, and we lived on the beach, on Amelia, called Fernandina Beach. 00:27:18.255 --> 00:27:21.875 And actually, people don't realize this, but most of Amelia 00:27:21.875 --> 00:27:24.105 Island is Fernandina Beach. 00:27:25.035 --> 00:27:30.835 Jesse and I have lived here, almost 40 years, after I taught, got back 00:27:30.835 --> 00:27:35.305 into the public school system and taught, um, although I taught 42 00:27:35.425 --> 00:27:41.775 years, I taught 26 years in the middle school here in Fernandina Beach, 00:27:42.585 --> 00:27:45.215 Becky: Did your, did you let your students walk to your house like 00:27:45.215 --> 00:27:46.955 your teacher let you walk to hers? 00:27:46.956 --> 00:27:50.355 No, 00:27:50.355 --> 00:27:53.755 no, 00:27:55.170 --> 00:27:55.990 Ally: good question. 00:27:56.840 --> 00:28:02.810 And when I lived with my first husband, I taught in a little place called Hofstra, 00:28:02.810 --> 00:28:04.470 Florida, which was about an hour away. 00:28:04.950 --> 00:28:09.010 So I would bring children on the weekend to my house. 00:28:09.845 --> 00:28:11.725 And I would bring a different groove. 00:28:13.455 --> 00:28:16.385 I could not do anything like that now. 00:28:16.385 --> 00:28:19.325 But at that time in my life, that was real important. 00:28:19.525 --> 00:28:22.925 They were like my family because I remember children I was teaching in 00:28:22.955 --> 00:28:23.285 Becky: yes. 00:28:24.175 --> 00:28:27.585 Ally: So yeah, so to answer your question, yeah. 00:28:27.586 --> 00:28:30.965 Some have come here, 00:28:31.925 --> 00:28:33.235 but nothing like that. 00:28:34.955 --> 00:28:36.665 And a lot of them ended up coming here. 00:28:36.935 --> 00:28:41.405 A lot of the students I taught ended up in the church, Presbyterian 00:28:41.405 --> 00:28:47.365 Church, that Jesse and I decided we would go to, and we did for 20 years. 00:28:48.325 --> 00:28:53.315 the Presbyterian Church was really good for me, helped me to, to learn, 00:28:53.335 --> 00:29:02.970 to just, to enjoy church and to enjoy the children and, um, have, 00:29:02.980 --> 00:29:06.050 meet new friends and good friends. 00:29:06.051 --> 00:29:13.820 And, another aspect of my life that had began to really blossom, 00:29:13.821 --> 00:29:17.110 um, it started in Kansas City. 00:29:17.120 --> 00:29:24.970 My husband's NAA, and when we met, The way we dated at first in Kansas 00:29:24.970 --> 00:29:29.790 City is he would take me to open AA meetings and I'd never heard of AA. 00:29:29.890 --> 00:29:33.180 I certainly didn't know what an open AA meeting was. 00:29:34.030 --> 00:29:39.080 so I would go to these meetings and I, I remember the first one I ever went to with 00:29:39.080 --> 00:29:42.900 him in Kansas City, I was so startled. 00:29:42.900 --> 00:29:49.810 I was, I could not believe that these room full of Uh, people were so honest with 00:29:49.810 --> 00:29:54.250 each other, telling things about their lives that you just don't do, you know. 00:29:55.070 --> 00:29:58.790 Uh, I didn't, I never did that in the church. 00:29:58.790 --> 00:30:02.600 I, I never heard, heard of that, quite to that extent. 00:30:03.580 --> 00:30:05.510 And they, they seemed to love each other. 00:30:05.510 --> 00:30:08.950 They, these AA members seemed to care about each other. 00:30:09.340 --> 00:30:12.520 They had baseball games together. 00:30:12.520 --> 00:30:15.695 They Uh, met for lunch together. 00:30:15.695 --> 00:30:17.505 They, they were a family. 00:30:17.995 --> 00:30:20.245 I didn't understand it, and a family. 00:30:20.245 --> 00:30:24.055 I, I, I, do now, but I didn't then. 00:30:24.505 --> 00:30:29.665 So I'm telling you that, to tell you that that followed us to that kind of, 00:30:29.665 --> 00:30:36.125 uh, those organizations we were able to find in Fernandina when we moved here. 00:30:36.935 --> 00:30:40.630 And Jesse Went to AA meetings. 00:30:40.630 --> 00:30:42.070 I went to Al Anon meetings. 00:30:42.430 --> 00:30:49.600 Al Anon is the support group for families who have or have had alcoholism in their 00:30:49.600 --> 00:30:53.468 life or addiction, alcohol addiction. 00:30:53.468 --> 00:30:59.020 And Al Anon, in the Al Anon group, I've been a member of almost 40 years now. 00:31:01.235 --> 00:31:07.705 Um, we, we were, we became a family too, of people who would speak honestly 00:31:07.705 --> 00:31:11.955 in these meetings that we, we have together, had together, and have together. 00:31:12.695 --> 00:31:20.625 Um, it's hard for families of people with addictions to know where to go. 00:31:21.630 --> 00:31:24.140 to find someone who understands. 00:31:24.540 --> 00:31:27.700 That's what our organization is about, Al Anon. 00:31:28.290 --> 00:31:34.300 And Al Anon also teaches us to set boundaries in our own life, to find out 00:31:34.300 --> 00:31:37.720 about what's going in our own lives. 00:31:38.250 --> 00:31:44.000 We've been so busy helping other people, Enabling other people 00:31:45.230 --> 00:31:49.020 that we, we need, we need to know where, where to set boundaries. 00:31:49.030 --> 00:31:52.300 So, you learn all that in these Allenite meetings. 00:31:52.300 --> 00:31:58.120 You learn about boundaries and enabling and, um, what addiction truly is. 00:31:58.190 --> 00:32:03.620 Addiction, it didn't stem from a moral problem, it stem, it's a disease. 00:32:04.310 --> 00:32:09.120 And, so we, a lot of people come to Al Anon and don't know that. 00:32:09.970 --> 00:32:16.230 And they come to Al Anon to find out how to cure their addicted person and, but 00:32:16.250 --> 00:32:18.260 you learn in Al Anon you can't do that. 00:32:18.965 --> 00:32:19.805 Cannot do that. 00:32:20.875 --> 00:32:26.455 what I have learned is that the best teacher for an addicted person is a 00:32:26.455 --> 00:32:32.605 person who has been addicted and has worked their way out of that addiction. 00:32:33.935 --> 00:32:39.120 So, In our home, I'd never seen Jesse take a drink, I'd never 00:32:39.230 --> 00:32:40.680 ever have seen him take a drink. 00:32:41.330 --> 00:32:44.330 Because I met him when he was two years into the program. 00:32:44.850 --> 00:32:53.900 But, still, the characteristics of alcoholism, and al anon ism, are in any 00:32:53.901 --> 00:32:59.380 home where there has been addiction, or could be addiction, or is addiction. 00:32:59.880 --> 00:33:02.940 So you have to learn how it's going to affect your family 00:33:03.060 --> 00:33:04.400 and what you can do about it. 00:33:04.660 --> 00:33:09.090 What you can do to help your family, So I say that because 00:33:09.100 --> 00:33:10.730 that's been a big part of my life. 00:33:10.730 --> 00:33:13.510 I talk about that a lot because it's been a big part of my life. 00:33:13.850 --> 00:33:15.300 I like to go to meetings. 00:33:15.490 --> 00:33:17.200 I like to chair meetings. 00:33:17.570 --> 00:33:19.110 And I like to sponsor. 00:33:20.235 --> 00:33:22.365 in the, in the Al Anon program. 00:33:22.695 --> 00:33:29.165 Most of Al Anon, uh, the people who come to Al Anon are women, but some, there 00:33:29.175 --> 00:33:34.265 are men too, men too who have, who have had to deal with it, their families. 00:33:34.265 --> 00:33:39.045 And there are more, more men coming now, and I'm so happy about that. 00:33:39.465 --> 00:33:45.255 And also people with, people, uh, families of people who have addictions 00:33:45.255 --> 00:33:53.475 to other, uh, Like drug, like heroin or all the drugs that are out there, 00:33:53.715 --> 00:33:59.185 they come too, because they realize that they can get a lot of, out of, um, 00:33:59.575 --> 00:34:02.845 alcoholic, alanine addiction program. 00:34:04.295 --> 00:34:08.915 And so, um, anyway, any questions about any of that? 00:34:09.250 --> 00:34:09.640 Becky: Yeah. 00:34:09.640 --> 00:34:14.530 So you mentioned that your first marriage, alcohol kind 00:34:14.530 --> 00:34:17.150 of was a, was a struggle. 00:34:17.570 --> 00:34:20.790 Um, did that make you nervous going into a 00:34:20.790 --> 00:34:22.260 relationship with Jesse? 00:34:22.335 --> 00:34:22.975 Ally: Yes, it did. 00:34:23.925 --> 00:34:25.825 It absolutely did. 00:34:26.245 --> 00:34:32.355 But when I found out he, he was in, uh, AA and I learned about what AA was, 00:34:32.745 --> 00:34:35.115 and he was, had such a passion for it. 00:34:36.420 --> 00:34:39.150 I was able to know what I wanted and didn't want. 00:34:39.830 --> 00:34:40.290 Right. 00:34:40.630 --> 00:34:42.400 that's the best way to put it. 00:34:42.610 --> 00:34:42.910 Yeah. 00:34:43.970 --> 00:34:44.340 Yeah. 00:34:44.420 --> 00:34:48.868 you saw, you saw that Jesse was working on his spiritual growth. 00:34:49.158 --> 00:34:49.878 Yes. 00:34:50.148 --> 00:34:50.798 Yes. 00:34:51.608 --> 00:35:00.628 And interestingly, um, things, things in a family, as you know, You have periods 00:35:00.648 --> 00:35:07.028 of really having, uh, challenging times together and, you know, children come 00:35:07.028 --> 00:35:11.378 along and then you have to agree on a philosophy that works for the two 00:35:11.378 --> 00:35:13.448 of you with that child and so forth. 00:35:13.798 --> 00:35:19.508 So, in, in our marriage, we have gone through periods, ups and downs 00:35:19.538 --> 00:35:27.898 like that and the, the, um, the thing that brought us together were 00:35:27.898 --> 00:35:29.298 these meetings that we'd get to. 00:35:30.108 --> 00:35:34.848 He would go to his meetings, talk to his friends about what he was going through. 00:35:35.298 --> 00:35:38.648 I'd go to my meetings and talk to my friends about what I was going through. 00:35:39.298 --> 00:35:44.068 And then, uh, and we don't mind, Jesse and I don't mind going to council, 00:35:44.068 --> 00:35:45.668 to say that we've done that too. 00:35:45.668 --> 00:35:52.748 And, and another good thing that we did for each other, or had to do, 00:35:52.748 --> 00:35:57.458 particularly in the first part of our marriage, was to write letters. 00:35:58.368 --> 00:36:02.978 Uh, that, uh, writing letters when you're upset with somebody takes 00:36:02.978 --> 00:36:09.178 the emotion out of the situation so that you can, they can see what, 00:36:09.228 --> 00:36:10.888 how you're thinking and vice versa. 00:36:10.898 --> 00:36:13.728 So, we did that and that was really helpful. 00:36:14.048 --> 00:36:17.745 Even when we had a child, we, we did that. 00:36:17.941 --> 00:36:25.851 And, um, so, so talking about child, It was later in life. 00:36:25.881 --> 00:36:28.961 I was 46 before we adopted a child. 00:36:29.061 --> 00:36:35.103 We couldn't have children, so we went to China to, uh, pick up our child. 00:36:35.583 --> 00:36:39.993 We were there for two weeks, and we were in training, so to speak, 00:36:40.543 --> 00:36:43.313 and, um, we brought her back. 00:36:43.718 --> 00:36:48.208 And she was six months old when we got her, six or seven months old. 00:36:49.088 --> 00:36:56.508 And, um, it was not an easy time because I had not had a baby before. 00:36:56.508 --> 00:36:59.818 I had to learn to be a mother to a baby and to teach, and 00:36:59.818 --> 00:37:01.308 I was still teaching school. 00:37:02.408 --> 00:37:08.128 And, Um, go into church and just, and, and so I had to learn what it 00:37:08.128 --> 00:37:12.358 was to take care of a child 24 7. 00:37:12.738 --> 00:37:15.378 I never had to take care of anybody 24 7. 00:37:15.379 --> 00:37:21.578 So, at 46 that was not an easy thing to do, but I'm so glad. 00:37:21.578 --> 00:37:25.088 I mean, she has brought, she has brought us so much joy. 00:37:25.118 --> 00:37:31.818 She's taught me about patience and kindness and deep joy, selflessness. 00:37:32.648 --> 00:37:38.398 And, and we, uh, had, were involved in activities that I, I, I would 00:37:38.408 --> 00:37:39.778 have never been involved in. 00:37:40.513 --> 00:37:47.983 she was, when she was in early school, she took gymnastics, and then she 00:37:47.983 --> 00:37:52.153 did soccer, and of course I had her in a Montessori school for about 00:37:52.213 --> 00:37:53.933 five years, four or five years. 00:37:54.713 --> 00:38:02.573 And she, uh, later joined the band and, was on my flag team in high school. 00:38:03.389 --> 00:38:09.433 Um, she went to church, too, through all this, even through high school, and, 00:38:09.563 --> 00:38:16.523 um, we did change churches, um, because she wanted to go to another church, and 00:38:16.523 --> 00:38:21.233 we knew that there were a lot of young people at this other church, and she just 00:38:21.243 --> 00:38:27.143 liked the atmosphere, and so for three years, we took her there, anyway, you, 00:38:27.183 --> 00:38:32.583 you do for your children what you, feel like you have to do to, to make them, uh, 00:38:32.593 --> 00:38:35.093 happier, to bring more joy in their life. 00:38:35.529 --> 00:38:38.619 And I remember even as a senior in high school, I remember 00:38:38.619 --> 00:38:41.519 seeing her in this other church. 00:38:42.339 --> 00:38:45.109 We worked together and she was taking notes. 00:38:45.159 --> 00:38:46.579 She was taking notes. 00:38:47.129 --> 00:38:50.069 I wasn't even taking notes of the sermons. 00:38:51.029 --> 00:38:52.519 My daughter was taking notes. 00:38:53.079 --> 00:38:59.434 So, Um, so she's taught us a lot, and she's still teaching us a lot. 00:38:59.434 --> 00:39:05.174 We've, we've, we've got a lot to learn, and, uh, we're still learning. 00:39:06.104 --> 00:39:10.554 But the nice thing about her childhood is we lived in a cul de sac, and we 00:39:10.554 --> 00:39:14.404 still live there, and there were a lot of children in the cul de sac. 00:39:14.404 --> 00:39:17.184 So she spent a lot of time outside. 00:39:18.564 --> 00:39:21.054 She, she, like me, loved to be outside. 00:39:21.864 --> 00:39:24.974 And, uh, I had a lot of children come into our home. 00:39:25.433 --> 00:39:33.846 Um, a lot of parties that, uh, we set up, and we took Hannah also on trips. 00:39:33.846 --> 00:39:35.286 We took her on a lot of trips. 00:39:35.286 --> 00:39:40.046 As a matter of fact, she and my husband, her ninth or tenth grade 00:39:40.056 --> 00:39:49.586 year, climbed the highest mountain in Colorado, Mount Elbert, and she, she 00:39:49.586 --> 00:39:53.306 had gone on walks and things like that. 00:39:53.516 --> 00:39:56.866 She had never climbed a mountain, and it was pretty traumatic. 00:39:57.176 --> 00:40:03.246 For her, but she, she learned a lot, and as did we. 00:40:05.766 --> 00:40:08.756 We, maybe we should have waited a year or two to take her. 00:40:09.376 --> 00:40:13.466 But, but that was, that's the kind of activity we wanted for her. 00:40:13.496 --> 00:40:14.746 She was an outdoor person. 00:40:14.756 --> 00:40:16.346 She loves animals. 00:40:16.626 --> 00:40:18.726 She loves, loves wolves. 00:40:19.406 --> 00:40:21.876 Particularly at that time, she was really into wolves. 00:40:21.876 --> 00:40:28.226 So we took her to, uh, wolf sanctuaries and, um, any type of 00:40:28.226 --> 00:40:29.786 nature program we could get her in. 00:40:31.341 --> 00:40:37.401 So, um, so, what has the last 10 years of my life been like? 00:40:38.041 --> 00:40:43.891 I have, um, it's been nice in my retirement, these 10, I think it's been 00:40:43.891 --> 00:40:49.231 12 years now, to, to, um, be at home. 00:40:49.231 --> 00:40:51.401 I feel like I'm finally a homemaker. 00:40:51.946 --> 00:40:52.276 You know, 00:40:52.971 --> 00:40:53.411 yeah. 00:40:53.526 --> 00:40:58.266 that gave me a long time to, it took me a while to adjust to that, but I love it. 00:40:58.876 --> 00:41:05.826 And, um, because I'm home now, my relationship with 00:41:05.866 --> 00:41:07.586 God has deepened even more. 00:41:08.086 --> 00:41:14.606 I've spent a lot of time talking to God now, and I'm in Bible studies that I 00:41:14.606 --> 00:41:16.496 didn't have a chance to really be in. 00:41:16.901 --> 00:41:23.661 earlier and, my life has evolved into, less of me and more of God. 00:41:24.861 --> 00:41:28.971 And, uh, you know, once I learned that God lived in me, lives in my 00:41:28.971 --> 00:41:37.771 spirit, and works from the inside out, I, I was so amazed and so happy 00:41:37.771 --> 00:41:39.481 to learn that it changed my life. 00:41:39.831 --> 00:41:47.426 And also, there are, Christian ministries that really emphasize healing a lot, 00:41:47.556 --> 00:41:49.146 not just a little bit, but a lot. 00:41:49.946 --> 00:41:57.026 And I have had all my life a propensity to work with the healing of people, whether 00:41:57.036 --> 00:42:04.226 it be mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, relationally, financially. 00:42:04.956 --> 00:42:09.471 And so, I've been doing a lot of that in my last 12 years at 00:42:09.471 --> 00:42:10.131 home. 00:42:11.066 --> 00:42:15.547 I've learn more about letting go of regrets in my life. 00:42:15.910 --> 00:42:24.483 and truly trusting that God has taken the, uh, emotional, um, hold 00:42:24.483 --> 00:42:26.503 on my life that they have had. 00:42:27.353 --> 00:42:29.933 God has just taking a lot of that away. 00:42:30.243 --> 00:42:35.863 And, I've used the principles of Al Anon to deepen also, deepen myself. 00:42:36.773 --> 00:42:41.153 And, that's pretty much what my life is now. 00:42:41.153 --> 00:42:46.308 I, I'm I'm, I'm, I'm available to God every day now. 00:42:46.718 --> 00:42:49.338 All day long, I'm just saying, Where do you want me next? 00:42:49.348 --> 00:42:50.768 What do you want me to say? 00:42:51.108 --> 00:42:52.798 Who do you want to teach me? 00:42:53.748 --> 00:42:55.898 Open my ears so I can learn. 00:42:56.598 --> 00:42:59.588 And help me not to be pushy with any of that. 00:42:59.598 --> 00:43:02.418 Just, uh, follow your guidance. 00:43:03.028 --> 00:43:08.163 And, You know, in the last few years, true, that guidance has come through 00:43:08.173 --> 00:43:10.853 who Jesus left for us, the Holy Spirit. 00:43:11.273 --> 00:43:13.563 I didn't know about the Holy Spirit growing up. 00:43:14.033 --> 00:43:15.623 I heard the name a lot. 00:43:15.623 --> 00:43:20.623 I didn't know about the personal relationship that was important 00:43:20.993 --> 00:43:21.963 to have with the Holy Spirit. 00:43:21.973 --> 00:43:27.050 So I started finding ways to listen to what Holy Spirit was saying to me. 00:43:28.130 --> 00:43:31.000 Trying to figure out the voice that the Holy Spirit was using. 00:43:31.805 --> 00:43:36.715 And how to make sure it was Holy Spirit speaking into my, into my 00:43:36.745 --> 00:43:39.342 inner self, uh, I found ways to. 00:43:39.541 --> 00:43:41.100 to do that. 00:43:41.800 --> 00:43:49.190 so as my days and my love for God has grown, my being able to listen 00:43:49.190 --> 00:43:51.360 to Holy Spirit better has grown. 00:43:51.360 --> 00:43:56.140 And then I now I just say, I ask a lot of yes and no. 00:43:57.450 --> 00:43:58.080 questions. 00:43:58.080 --> 00:44:00.370 I say, is this, is this what you want me to do? 00:44:00.900 --> 00:44:02.570 Or is this what you want me to write? 00:44:02.960 --> 00:44:04.760 Or is this who you want me to call? 00:44:05.230 --> 00:44:06.940 Or is this where you want me to go? 00:44:07.650 --> 00:44:09.350 And I get that quick answer. 00:44:10.390 --> 00:44:15.960 And, and, also when I lose something, which is not hard at my 00:44:15.961 --> 00:44:21.150 age, when I lose something, I say, Holy Spirit, just, just tell me. 00:44:21.500 --> 00:44:22.390 where that is. 00:44:22.680 --> 00:44:27.140 And, honestly, within minutes, sometimes an hour, I've got it. 00:44:27.340 --> 00:44:28.010 I've found it. 00:44:28.720 --> 00:44:33.950 And also, with my memory, it slips a little bit when 00:44:33.950 --> 00:44:35.887 you get older, year by year. 00:44:36.537 --> 00:44:43.007 I just say to Holy Spirit, I need to know the name of this person in this 00:44:43.047 --> 00:44:48.557 particular situation that I need to I need, I just need that name, and I can't 00:44:48.557 --> 00:44:55.297 bring it up, or I need the name of a book, and I can't bring it up, and it comes 00:44:55.297 --> 00:44:57.837 up, it always comes up, it may not be. 00:44:58.194 --> 00:44:59.814 Instantly, but it will come. 00:45:00.334 --> 00:45:05.184 And I feel blessed about that to know how the principles, God's 00:45:05.184 --> 00:45:06.794 principles work in my life. 00:45:07.494 --> 00:45:13.094 Uh, the principles of prosperity too, I didn't know about that. 00:45:13.574 --> 00:45:16.914 And I realized that it's all biblical, what I'm being taught. 00:45:17.454 --> 00:45:22.814 It's not, uh, prosperity necessarily for finances, which is wonderful. 00:45:23.544 --> 00:45:26.490 It's also, how do I prosper mentally? 00:45:27.000 --> 00:45:28.770 How do I prosper physically? 00:45:29.384 --> 00:45:31.474 How do I prosper, uh, emotionally? 00:45:32.217 --> 00:45:34.087 And so on and so on. 00:45:34.087 --> 00:45:37.157 How do I prosper, uh, relationally? 00:45:38.527 --> 00:45:39.547 Teach me all that, God. 00:45:39.547 --> 00:45:41.177 I want to know how to prosper. 00:45:41.587 --> 00:45:45.227 I know that's a catch word that some people don't like. 00:45:45.927 --> 00:45:48.607 Uh, and I, I can understand why. 00:45:49.257 --> 00:45:51.487 But, I like it and I'm going to use it. 00:45:53.837 --> 00:45:57.347 And another thing I've learned is I didn't know about the salvation. 00:45:58.817 --> 00:46:04.347 I knew about salvation, that God loves us and wants us to be a part of his family, 00:46:04.767 --> 00:46:10.717 that Jesus came to die for us so that we would be free of all our past sins 00:46:10.717 --> 00:46:13.637 and, and um, would have eternal life. 00:46:13.697 --> 00:46:17.117 Now that's, that's a wonderful, there's a lot to that and it 00:46:17.307 --> 00:46:19.717 takes a while to digest all that. 00:46:20.277 --> 00:46:23.077 But I learned about the salvation package. 00:46:23.832 --> 00:46:29.852 And I learned that, um, it's being born again and having wholeness. 00:46:30.722 --> 00:46:33.372 It's healing, mentally, physically, spiritually, 00:46:33.382 --> 00:46:34.862 emotionally, uh, relationally. 00:46:35.792 --> 00:46:40.022 And, um, God has given me protection. 00:46:40.592 --> 00:46:44.032 In that salvation, I've got protection, and I use that a lot. 00:46:44.732 --> 00:46:49.022 God, I, I'm in this situation, I'm not feeling real comfortable, help me. 00:46:49.862 --> 00:46:53.202 I drive a lot, I travel a lot, so I need that. 00:46:54.882 --> 00:47:01.142 Um, he has taught me in the salvation package about wisdom and knowledge, 00:47:01.172 --> 00:47:06.922 using his wisdom and his knowledge instead of depending on my own, and 00:47:06.922 --> 00:47:09.242 I'm so grateful to, to know about that. 00:47:09.972 --> 00:47:18.162 Um, preservation of life, uh, making me gloriously complete. 00:47:19.347 --> 00:47:20.027 saved. 00:47:21.047 --> 00:47:23.767 Um, in the salvati 00:47:29.787 --> 00:47:34.687 Uh, working through him, I'm a conduit for this, or I'm a conduit for that. 00:47:35.327 --> 00:47:40.587 I'm always a conduit for God, uh, in whatever area he, he needs me. 00:47:41.267 --> 00:47:45.837 And he's taught me about having vision, and a purpose, and my husband right now. 00:47:46.117 --> 00:47:51.587 And I right now have bought some property that we're, we have a vision for and 00:47:52.087 --> 00:47:56.367 some people have said to me, Becky, uh, you're too, you're too old to be 00:47:56.447 --> 00:47:57.867 thinking about this and this and this. 00:47:57.867 --> 00:47:59.017 I said, I am not. 00:47:59.517 --> 00:48:00.077 No. 00:48:00.387 --> 00:48:03.227 do not stop and will never stop. 00:48:04.052 --> 00:48:11.022 Um, but anyway, God has given us visions, both Jesse and I, and he's 00:48:11.022 --> 00:48:13.002 given us a purpose driven life. 00:48:13.032 --> 00:48:16.332 we are purposeful in our life, in our visions. 00:48:17.272 --> 00:48:21.502 And I would say that the most important thing he has given me 00:48:22.172 --> 00:48:24.362 through Jesus is Holy Spirit. 00:48:24.452 --> 00:48:29.082 Having that voice to listen to all day long, every day. 00:48:30.092 --> 00:48:31.382 I had to develop it. 00:48:31.382 --> 00:48:32.612 I had to learn. 00:48:33.532 --> 00:48:38.692 What I've learned is, that the enemy came to, the enemy came to 00:48:38.692 --> 00:48:43.092 kill, steal, and destroy, but, uh, God wants us to have abundant life. 00:48:43.612 --> 00:48:47.902 And that's a, there's a lot of abundance in salvation, and the 00:48:47.902 --> 00:48:53.632 salvation package that I have had to, to grow in and learn more about. 00:48:56.317 --> 00:49:01.467 Well, do you have any specific heroes in your life as we've 00:49:01.467 --> 00:49:03.687 kind of listened to your story? 00:49:03.697 --> 00:49:04.217 Anything? 00:49:04.247 --> 00:49:09.257 Anyone who stands out as a big hero to you? 00:49:09.272 --> 00:49:11.652 the first person that stands out is my mother. 00:49:12.552 --> 00:49:20.332 She was an extraordinary woman, um, she was soft spoken, she was kind, 00:49:20.982 --> 00:49:23.342 she listened more than she talked. 00:49:24.042 --> 00:49:25.002 Which was good. 00:49:25.359 --> 00:49:31.192 Um, she raised five children, all different, all five of us are different. 00:49:31.872 --> 00:49:36.582 And, and I think she did it kindly, well, and we all just adored her. 00:49:37.102 --> 00:49:39.342 So, she did a good job. 00:49:39.532 --> 00:49:40.322 She did a good job. 00:49:40.962 --> 00:49:46.112 And I think my husband, he's, he's just a standout in my life. 00:49:46.802 --> 00:49:48.692 Yeah, we did go through hard times. 00:49:49.347 --> 00:49:51.407 particularly in the first 10 years of our marriage. 00:49:52.557 --> 00:49:57.497 But we've grown spiritually, and he's been a guide spiritually, in areas that 00:49:57.497 --> 00:49:59.667 I probably would not have explored. 00:50:00.167 --> 00:50:03.747 He's brought those areas, uh, to my attention. 00:50:04.397 --> 00:50:09.467 And he's a man, he's a man who prays, he's a man who meditates. 00:50:10.137 --> 00:50:14.187 He, we pray every day, we pray every day together. 00:50:14.527 --> 00:50:16.887 This is not something we did in our early years. 00:50:17.532 --> 00:50:20.789 But we do now, we pray every day and we watch programs on 00:50:20.859 --> 00:50:23.259 television that are uplifting. 00:50:23.259 --> 00:50:27.889 We try to do that, but we're not always successful there because I still like 00:50:27.889 --> 00:50:30.864 some of those whirly programs, but, Right. 00:50:31.759 --> 00:50:36.689 but, but I, I appreciate having somebody to share those problems with. 00:50:37.419 --> 00:50:37.849 I do. 00:50:39.499 --> 00:50:42.409 and then the other person was the person I mentioned when I was 00:50:42.889 --> 00:50:45.242 in Kansas City in my 30s, Steve. 00:50:45.922 --> 00:50:50.412 Because of his bluntness and his, truthfulness of dealing 00:50:50.412 --> 00:50:56.162 with me, and he just changed the direction of, my spiritual life. 00:50:56.242 --> 00:51:01.695 actually I'd say he really kind of recharged it, he made me care about 00:51:01.695 --> 00:51:09.505 myself and grow in that area, and, um, So those are the three that 00:51:09.515 --> 00:51:11.305 stand out in my mind right now. 00:51:11.335 --> 00:51:12.235 There are many others. 00:51:12.235 --> 00:51:13.555 There's people in my family. 00:51:13.645 --> 00:51:18.225 Your mom, for one, and, uh, other people in my family who 00:51:18.225 --> 00:51:22.645 I adore and who I listen to. 00:51:22.675 --> 00:51:25.105 And, uh, my sister. 00:51:25.830 --> 00:51:27.110 Flornette was another one. 00:51:27.120 --> 00:51:36.320 She, she was a great example of a good mom and person to love the, 00:51:36.460 --> 00:51:38.160 loves the Lord, love the Lord. 00:51:38.250 --> 00:51:45.880 She passed away, but she, she um, she loved me as, As a mother would 00:51:45.880 --> 00:51:49.020 love a child, as I was growing up, she was like my other mother. 00:51:49.700 --> 00:51:52.850 And I'll never, never forget what she's done for me. 00:51:55.510 --> 00:51:56.190 That's great. 00:51:57.340 --> 00:51:57.810 Okay. 00:51:57.810 --> 00:51:58.400 Well, if there. 00:51:58.400 --> 00:51:58.835 Well, if there. 00:51:59.185 --> 00:52:02.885 If there was anything that you want the audience to know about God, 00:52:02.895 --> 00:52:04.165 what would you want them to know? 00:52:05.620 --> 00:52:09.210 Well, I think what I went over a while ago with the salvation package, 00:52:09.710 --> 00:52:13.710 I think to know all that about God and what He wants for us, that God is 00:52:13.710 --> 00:52:20.460 good, God does not put diseases on us, God does not cause us to have wrecks 00:52:20.460 --> 00:52:22.090 and accidents and things like that. 00:52:22.380 --> 00:52:23.570 He's a God of love. 00:52:23.905 --> 00:52:28.815 But there's also another element in this, the atmosphere, and that 00:52:28.815 --> 00:52:34.575 is, we call it the enemy or other principalities that we can't even 00:52:34.575 --> 00:52:36.735 see that are working in our lives. 00:52:37.325 --> 00:52:40.585 And I would say, study. 00:52:41.035 --> 00:52:45.615 study the Bible, the New and Old Testament, both testaments. 00:52:45.615 --> 00:52:49.145 Some people don't want to study the Old Testament, but they're both important 00:52:49.145 --> 00:52:56.292 because the, Old Testament prophesies about Jesus, and prophesies about how, 00:52:57.022 --> 00:53:01.972 and tells us how God worked, how, how God works, had, how God worked with 00:53:02.002 --> 00:53:09.037 Israelites, and how He was disappointed in them and things happened and they 00:53:09.037 --> 00:53:13.037 got away from God and things happened and then they got back close to God. 00:53:13.887 --> 00:53:16.117 This back and forth, kind of like what I was telling you 00:53:16.137 --> 00:53:18.387 about my life, has been like. 00:53:18.817 --> 00:53:25.257 And, um, the New Testament, which is about Jesus and his followers. 00:53:26.057 --> 00:53:31.679 both of them are about history, but the New Testament's about Jesus, if 00:53:31.699 --> 00:53:33.279 you would read the book of John. 00:53:33.914 --> 00:53:40.164 You can, um, He was one of Jesus disciples and it really is a good, um, 00:53:40.254 --> 00:53:43.834 springboard to learn about Jesus life. 00:53:44.414 --> 00:53:47.144 And right now I'm studying Revelation. 00:53:47.144 --> 00:53:49.644 At one time I didn't want to study Revelation. 00:53:49.654 --> 00:53:54.444 This is the last chapter in the 66 books in the Bible. 00:53:55.334 --> 00:53:59.534 But now I do because I know it's, I'm doing it with the group and Jesse leads 00:54:00.004 --> 00:54:06.054 a small group on Tuesday night and, um, we're, we're studying Revelation 00:54:06.054 --> 00:54:10.784 and it's kind of fun to do it together with somebody and we're all studying 00:54:10.784 --> 00:54:15.264 from different Bibles and different, um, commentaries, I guess you'd say, 00:54:15.264 --> 00:54:19.744 and just kind of adding our little two cents worth, all of us, what we've 00:54:19.744 --> 00:54:22.274 learned, in just kind of a neat way. 00:54:22.544 --> 00:54:25.064 to learn about the last book of the Bible. 00:54:25.954 --> 00:54:26.384 Yeah. 00:54:26.674 --> 00:54:27.404 The hard one. 00:54:27.464 --> 00:54:28.574 times, the hard one. 00:54:28.844 --> 00:54:30.604 What the end times are going to be like. 00:54:30.604 --> 00:54:33.214 And, yeah, so. 00:54:34.774 --> 00:54:35.074 Okay. 00:54:35.074 --> 00:54:36.864 Well, I have another question for you. 00:54:37.014 --> 00:54:37.884 Yes, ma'am. 00:54:38.564 --> 00:54:41.494 When I think of you, I do always think of adventure. 00:54:41.494 --> 00:54:43.084 Like you're just very adventurous. 00:54:43.894 --> 00:54:47.664 Um, and even in your story, like you can see how you like adventure. 00:54:48.044 --> 00:54:51.064 So what is the most adventurous thing you've ever done? 00:54:51.684 --> 00:54:52.664 Oh my goodness. 00:54:53.954 --> 00:54:57.644 I think going to live in Jerusalem was the most adventurous 00:54:57.944 --> 00:54:59.829 because I knew, I knew nobody. 00:55:00.264 --> 00:55:00.684 Yeah. 00:55:01.089 --> 00:55:04.019 It was a whole life I had to create for myself. 00:55:04.729 --> 00:55:08.399 I had no car, so I had to figure all that out. 00:55:08.789 --> 00:55:14.459 But, um, to meet the, so many different kind of people in Jerusalem. 00:55:14.459 --> 00:55:16.239 I met Jews, 00:55:16.519 --> 00:55:19.599 I lived on the east side with the Palestinians, but I would 00:55:19.599 --> 00:55:21.899 visit the Jews on the west side. 00:55:22.599 --> 00:55:29.379 So, so Allie, um, you were asking me about my favorite, 00:55:30.069 --> 00:55:32.609 Becky: Your, your most adventurous moment, 00:55:32.659 --> 00:55:33.089 the most, 00:55:35.859 --> 00:55:37.029 Ally: I said it. 00:55:37.059 --> 00:55:37.919 General is love. 00:55:37.919 --> 00:55:38.619 Yeah, for sure. 00:55:39.059 --> 00:55:43.819 Um, I also, I think that bus tour that took across the United States 00:55:44.269 --> 00:55:50.929 showed me that I could do things by myself and, you know, feel protected, 00:55:52.599 --> 00:55:54.789 made a lot of new people and enjoy. 00:55:54.844 --> 00:55:56.244 my wanderlust, 00:55:56.434 --> 00:55:56.784 Becky: yes. 00:55:57.819 --> 00:55:58.269 Ally: that's it. 00:55:59.144 --> 00:55:59.724 Becky: All right. 00:56:00.034 --> 00:56:04.004 Well, thank you so much for sharing your story with me. 00:56:05.179 --> 00:56:09.109 Ally: Well, thank you, and I love you, and, uh, hug those boys for me. 00:56:09.659 --> 00:56:10.589 Becky: I will for sure. 00:56:10.639 --> 00:56:11.539 Ally: Thank you for doing this 00:56:12.029 --> 00:56:12.749 Becky: Absolutely. 00:56:17.775 --> 00:56:19.975 Cailin: We hope you've been blessed by today's story. 00:56:20.395 --> 00:56:24.585 if you've heard something that you think could help someone you know, please share 00:56:24.585 --> 00:56:26.415 it using the link in the show notes. 00:56:27.245 --> 00:56:31.595 Also, if you will give Faith and Purpose a positive review on your podcast platform, 00:56:32.045 --> 00:56:33.685 you could help more people find it. 00:56:34.295 --> 00:56:38.360 You will probably never know how that small effort can make a big 00:56:38.360 --> 00:56:41.910 difference in someone's life, but our Heavenly Father knows. 00:56:43.156 --> 00:56:47.956 Speaking of sharing, if you know a Jesus follower with a story to tell, please send 00:56:47.956 --> 00:56:49.886 them a link to Faith and Purpose Podcast. 00:56:50.856 --> 00:56:53.016 It may encourage them to tell their story. 00:56:53.416 --> 00:56:55.016 That person may even be you. 00:56:55.486 --> 00:56:58.616 Our only criteria is that Jesus be glorified. 00:56:59.386 --> 00:57:04.096 So when you're ready to tell how Jesus has impacted your life, you can let Jesse 00:57:04.096 --> 00:57:07.216 know at his ministry website, jesseduke. 00:57:07.236 --> 00:57:07.496 net. 00:57:08.126 --> 00:57:11.306 There you can download guidelines that will make it easy to 00:57:11.306 --> 00:57:12.766 prepare to tell your story. 00:57:13.386 --> 00:57:15.826 Thank you for listening today and Shalom.