Speaker 1: Hey man, welcome back to another beardless, dickless me. I'm Kevin,
Speaker 1: and I got you something fucking way to take over
Speaker 1: the Holy Sha.
Speaker 2: I'm taking the reins, I know.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to see it.
Speaker 2: This is a I just wanted you to start your
Speaker 2: year off right. Oh what is it?
Speaker 1: Cuthulhu calendar?
Speaker 2: Cuthulu twenty twenty five calendar with a different Cuthulhu each month.
Speaker 1: Which is so fucked up because the first thought, I
Speaker 1: thank you number one, You're so welcome. Number two. The
Speaker 1: first thought I had this morning when I woke up
Speaker 1: was Riley dead?
Speaker 2: That was your first thought today?
Speaker 1: Yeah, oddly enough, Oh my god, crazy Riley where dead?
Speaker 1: Cthulhu live streaming? Oh my god, I love that. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna hang it right next to the bed, and your
Speaker 1: mom could just deal with it. She's gonna watch a
Speaker 1: picture of many different renditions of Cthulhu here.
Speaker 2: One of them is pretty cute.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something terrifying. Can I tell you
Speaker 1: about a fucking like horrifying dream I had the other night?
Speaker 2: Oh? I thought you were going to say another fucking
Speaker 2: ring horror movie.
Speaker 1: I've moved on from the ring Camp, thank god, to
Speaker 1: other horrifying. There's a guy named I d K. Serling
Speaker 1: who does these you know, he I don't know what
Speaker 1: they call him, reviews to bunks like or gives context
Speaker 1: to like tiktoks. We talked about it last week, were hey, Apple,
Speaker 1: oh yes, that guy. Then there's a you know, Morbid
Speaker 1: Facts number four hundred and ninety, and each one is
Speaker 1: as a dude like turned out he's got a real
Speaker 1: curated mustache, young guy. And then you know he'll be like.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: Uh, you know JFK was killed on the morning of
Speaker 1: blah blah blah the same day that someone weird was born,
Speaker 1: like weird coincidences and shit. And then there's morbid shit
Speaker 1: about motherfuckers who were like dead and how they got
Speaker 1: killed and stuff. But I think it is definitely inspired
Speaker 1: by that. I had a fucking nightmare the other night.
Speaker 1: I woke up in the morning where I was like,
Speaker 1: thank god, that was just a dream. Number one in
Speaker 1: one of those videos, I think it's the guy who's like,
Speaker 1: you can't do this. Oh yeah, he goes the reason
Speaker 1: that you wake up before you die in a dream
Speaker 1: is because the brain has no context for death. Oh
Speaker 1: it's true, you don't really die in your dreams, usually
Speaker 1: wake up beforehand. One time, I do remember dying in
Speaker 1: a dream and the dream went on.
Speaker 4: But I wasn't dead.
Speaker 1: There was like no penalty, So like, based on that alone, man,
Speaker 1: I think that's why I woke up, because I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna die, but I have no context for the brain.
Speaker 1: Can't create that story while I'm sleeping right right, can't
Speaker 1: weave that show because it's like death anybody. Everything dreams
Speaker 1: weave is predicated on experience and stuff. I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: of course, unless you're like, well, riding a fucking unicorn.
Speaker 1: That unicorn is predicated on some fucking experience, not with
Speaker 1: a real unicorn, but you know the idea of unicorns,
Speaker 1: unicorns and media and ship. I had a dream that
Speaker 1: like I woke up and was standing balancing.
Speaker 2: On a rock in the middle of the.
Speaker 1: At point Nemo, no, are you serious?
Speaker 2: And it was bro it was are you holding babies?
Speaker 1: That's where it came from, a piece of ship. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. I was haunted. I woke up and I
Speaker 1: was like, fuck, the babies so scary because suddenly I'm like,
Speaker 1: where am And then I realized I'm standing on a
Speaker 1: fucking like point point nemo if you want, but literally
Speaker 1: like a point like that, like a knitting needle, and
Speaker 1: I'm balancing on it on my one foot. And then
Speaker 1: I had this cognizant thought that it's like, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I am fucked, Like I can't stay here forever, like
Speaker 1: what I got, it's gonna go through my foot. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be here like fucking two minutes. And then yeah,
Speaker 1: and I was facing the fact that I was gonna die,
Speaker 1: and it was it was not comforting. It wasn't no,
Speaker 1: not that way. I mean, think about how hard that would.
Speaker 2: Be, like I'm going to drown comforting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's nice to be away from all those people,
Speaker 1: just have a moment to think for myself. The only
Speaker 1: I've done a lot of research on point Nemo since
Speaker 1: we've spoken about it. The one thing that you'd be like,
Speaker 1: who is You're not gonna get eaten by anything out there?
Speaker 1: Nothing lives out there except that the thing I'd be
Speaker 1: bouncing on, that fucking darning needle, and all this shudden,
Speaker 1: the sudden fucking ocean depths. Cthulhu rises and it's just like, oh,
Speaker 1: that would be a welcome relief at that you're like, please,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm gonna fucking I'm standing.
Speaker 2: On a knitting needle in the middle of the ocean.
Speaker 1: You know how much longer I had?
Speaker 2: Like tops two minutes take me, buddy, plus an honorable
Speaker 2: way to go.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you get to seek Athulu and you're like,
Speaker 1: holy shit, it was real and maybe you never know,
Speaker 1: like fucking in the world of infinite possibility. Put you
Speaker 1: on the shoulder. It becomes buddy, honestly, you don't know.
Speaker 2: Maybe keep you around.
Speaker 1: No Saturday nights on CBS and you solve crimes, get
Speaker 1: people out of jams, and ship.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So eventually and I'm like the leg man of ship.
Speaker 1: He don't show up until the end. So it's like
Speaker 1: the third act because it's expensive, but we always have
Speaker 1: to be near.
Speaker 2: A body of water in order to take place in
Speaker 2: the ocean at.
Speaker 1: Least where I could get to it and ship. And
Speaker 1: I'm always I'm always like, you know, in the third act,
Speaker 1: the fucking I'm like, hey, man, I think you did it,
Speaker 1: and they're like, yeah, well you ain't gonna improve it,
Speaker 1: and they pull a gun on me and ship and
Speaker 1: that's what I'm like, Oh, if we were you know,
Speaker 1: maybe two miles inland, I might be concerned, but as
Speaker 1: you can see right over my shoulder, that's.
Speaker 2: The water with my good pal.
Speaker 1: The title of the show yet but you will now. Oh,
Speaker 1: the guy's like, well are you doing that? He stopped
Speaker 1: making that noise rises up and then he's like, dude.
Speaker 2: Can you imagine if that was like you were the
Speaker 2: sidekick to.
Speaker 4: That's what we were just imagining.
Speaker 1: But I could.
Speaker 2: Really it sounds cool.
Speaker 1: I'm way ahead of that. I'm in the sitcom version
Speaker 1: of the show. Not a sitcom so much. Sounds like
Speaker 1: an hour long procedure along the lines of Columbo. Quincy.
Speaker 1: Familiar with Quincy, I've heard of it. Quincy was also
Speaker 1: an hour long procedural with Jack Klugman, who was one
Speaker 1: half of the Odd Couple, and since there was very
Speaker 1: few were very few TV stations back in the day,
Speaker 1: he was fucking way famous, even though he wasn't one
Speaker 1: of the original Odd Couple that was Jack Lemon and
Speaker 1: Walter Methow. They made a sitcom version. That's where that
Speaker 1: guy got famous. So Jack Klugman was what they called
Speaker 1: back in those days, quote a.
Speaker 4: TV star and that TV star.
Speaker 1: Uh, once you're you know, once a TV star was
Speaker 1: TV star, particularly if you want a hit show, and
Speaker 1: fucking The Odd Couple was as big as a gut.
Speaker 1: Both him and Tony Randall played the other Felix on
Speaker 1: The Odd Couple TV show. Got many bites at the
Speaker 1: TV show Apple, I would like just a nibble. Look,
Speaker 1: give me the core like a minute dumpster on a
Speaker 1: Quentin Taranty. It was an.
Speaker 4: So uh. He was in a TV show called Quincy
Speaker 4: em and you know what he is me, yeah, of
Speaker 4: course it is.
Speaker 1: You were raised right, uh medical examiner. So he was
Speaker 1: an hour long procedural where like you know, hey man,
Speaker 1: this guy died but it ain't natural causes any assistant shilling.
Speaker 1: And he lived on a house boat that was his
Speaker 1: like quirk, and he was like in his god, I
Speaker 1: want to say, in his fifties, but like I bet
Speaker 1: you if you watch the show now, it was like
Speaker 1: he was in his mid forties. But he looked like
Speaker 1: an old man. Everyone looked old than the seventies kid. Wow,
Speaker 1: everyone even the children looked like eighty. So that that
Speaker 1: motherfucker Quincy. He would solve crimes, get people out of jams.
Speaker 1: He didn't have Cthulhu. He's had his quick wits.
Speaker 2: Yeah, going back to Kulu, I have a question for
Speaker 2: you or King Kong, who's your favorite?
Speaker 1: I mean two are fictional characters and one and one yeah,
Speaker 1: one is dead Cthulhu who lies dreaming. I I'm not Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm more Cthulhu isn't Godzilla. I grew up with Godzilla.
Speaker 1: He does come from up? No, yeah, how's the song?
Speaker 4: Go up from the depths thirty stories high?
Speaker 1: Breathe and fire ahead in the sky. Gozilla, Gozilla, Gozilla
Speaker 1: and godsu which was the birdie version of Godzilla. Really,
Speaker 1: there was an animated Godzilla who was just big ass
Speaker 1: dinosaur who some reason it was fucking friends with people.
Speaker 2: The big one or the little one.
Speaker 1: The big one, but the little one hung out with
Speaker 1: the people, but the little one, you know, Godzilla breeze
Speaker 1: fucking fire. As I said, the little one would be
Speaker 1: like and like a little surfle of smoke. He would
Speaker 1: try to fly but crash and shit like that. He
Speaker 1: was the comic relief, and he was meant to be
Speaker 1: the Godzilla's son nephew, fucking young version of Godzilla's species.
Speaker 4: They were never quite clear.
Speaker 2: What's his name?
Speaker 1: Godzuki? Now Godzilla is a creation of Toho, and it
Speaker 1: came out of World War two. You know, the atom bomb.
Speaker 1: Of course, the United States dropped an adam bomb, two
Speaker 1: of them, if you will, on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and
Speaker 1: because of that, naturally it affected their art for quite
Speaker 1: some time. And one of the first reactions to the
Speaker 1: atomic war the atomic bomb was Godzilla. Godzilla is a
Speaker 1: metaphor for the atomic bomb.
Speaker 2: Sow.
Speaker 1: This motherfucker comes up out of the ocean, trounces major cities,
Speaker 1: level them, destroys buildings, fucking sends people running, screaming and shit,
Speaker 1: and then disappears back in the sea. Has atomic breath,
Speaker 1: so it could be like and just fucking fry people.
Speaker 1: So it's uh Believe me as a kid, I was
Speaker 1: not like, well, this must be a metaphor for you know, imperialism.
Speaker 1: This this is something that only came to me later
Speaker 1: in life.
Speaker 2: I was like, that's pretty wild.
Speaker 1: That makes fucking sense. You gotta watch Godzilla minus one. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's so fucking fantastic.
Speaker 2: I hear a wonderful thing.
Speaker 1: It's like, legit wonderful. In any event, Uh, Kin Kong
Speaker 1: was a big fixture of my childhood inasmuch as in
Speaker 1: nineteen seventy seven slash seventy eight, they released the Deno
Speaker 1: DeLaurentis remake, which introduces what's her name? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: why is your name escaping me? I lover her? We
Speaker 1: got old fucking what's your name? God? Damn it?
Speaker 2: You know the girl in King Kong?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. Ray was the girl in the
Speaker 1: black and white one, but you know her name is
Speaker 1: oh the actor actress and she no in your no
Speaker 1: not Oh, I'm sorry, there's I'm talking about. There have
Speaker 1: been three King Kong's my bad, but one of them,
Speaker 1: no amys, was Lois Lane. Oh, yes, of course, which
Speaker 1: is very akin.
Speaker 4: To fucking Dawn from King Kong.
Speaker 1: Don there was in the remake that Peter Jackson did.
Speaker 1: That role was played by Naomi Campbell. Oh, Naomi Watts.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Naomi Campbell was the mo model.
Speaker 1: Toomi Watts, the actress who was in mohalland Drive.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, Jessica Lang, thank you, Oh my good, that's
Speaker 2: who you forgot.
Speaker 1: Jessica Lang's debut work, wow was King Kong where she
Speaker 1: was the no. So in any event, that movie was
Speaker 1: huge When we were children, it was a huge flop.
Speaker 4: But for us kids.
Speaker 1: It was like. And the big switch from the black
Speaker 1: and white one, which was on TV all the time,
Speaker 1: was you know, in the black and white King Kong,
Speaker 1: the classic he climbs.
Speaker 2: What a skyscraper?
Speaker 1: Yes, but which one?
Speaker 2: Vampire state building?
Speaker 1: Very good in the remake nineteen seventy seven. Do you
Speaker 1: know Dela Anti's remake with Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lang
Speaker 1: and oh a host of others. Where what building would.
Speaker 4: Kong have climbed in the seventies. If they do a
Speaker 4: Kong twenty.
Speaker 2: Twenty five, it wouldn't be there.
Speaker 1: Yes, So King Kong nineteen seventy seven, seventy eight, whenever
Speaker 1: it came out poster is him one foot on each tower?
Speaker 1: Oh wow? Taken out military jets. Oh wow. I mean
Speaker 1: you know it was fantasy. Wow. So I got not
Speaker 1: more respect and love for Godzilla and King Kong. Kathulhu
Speaker 1: comes to you in your twenties.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when you need him most so true.
Speaker 1: When all the religions have let you down there, when
Speaker 1: you realize you're back, oh the ancient ones. If there
Speaker 1: is no divine intervention or justice, there will at least
Speaker 1: be divine wrath.
Speaker 2: Of course, And you know, fucking that's all that matters
Speaker 2: at the end of the day. Yeah, is divine wrath.
Speaker 1: Oh great Cuthulhu, crush my enemy.
Speaker 2: Just do me this one more solid.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, is just fucking badass and ship because p. Lovecraft,
Speaker 1: while very problematic, is uh wrote some horrifying ship I
Speaker 1: think and created.
Speaker 2: Cthulhu is number one reigning champion over all the monsters
Speaker 2: in my opinion.
Speaker 1: For you, yeah, yeah, but you don't. I mean you
Speaker 1: were not raised with a stable of monsters. Maybe my
Speaker 1: generation might have been the last one to have like
Speaker 1: true like movie mins. I love Crankenstein, Dracula, the wolf Man.
Speaker 2: They're making them, they're making them all, making them all.
Speaker 1: But and Jaws, Jaws, Jaws, Grizzly, these are the last
Speaker 1: of the great movie monsters in my opinion. Some would argue, yeah, man,
Speaker 1: fucking Grizzly came out run on the heels of Jaws.
Speaker 1: It was about his jaws in the woods and now
Speaker 1: same fucking story bear. Yes, this, but Grizzly wasn't like
Speaker 1: he got a hold of coke, so he's nuts.
Speaker 2: Grizzly was just like was he a giant bear?
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was a Grizzly. And those are they tried
Speaker 1: to make it as terrifying as a shark, which you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know where your generation is on it, but
Speaker 1: like I grew up in a world that was.
Speaker 2: Like kill them all, the sharks or the bears, the.
Speaker 1: Sharks because of Jaws. The influence of fucking that movie
Speaker 1: and the book are so great, no shit, you know,
Speaker 1: And I unfortunately I came to that party late because
Speaker 1: I was sold a different fucking Billy Goods.
Speaker 2: Sharks don't mean nothing by it.
Speaker 1: They you know, what was it like that morbid facts
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty four or fourteen people were killed by sharks,
Speaker 1: but sharks were killed the rate of fourteen thousand per day,
Speaker 1: yeah or some hour. It wasn't even per day.
Speaker 2: Bro, It was like a depressed so sad and they're
Speaker 2: such cool, creepy I.
Speaker 1: Will, they're cool, and it is sad, but I need
Speaker 1: you to step back and go the difference between that fish,
Speaker 1: that shark, and some human being eating right, like they're
Speaker 1: farming the sea.
Speaker 2: So it's like, yeah, I hate that. I'm a vegan.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you're like, so are you? I know, but
Speaker 1: I've got I've got compassion for some motherfuckers, like the
Speaker 1: difference between like me and my children eating and not
Speaker 1: eating is like a net full of fish, Like it
Speaker 1: ain't my way, Like I found another way, and I'm
Speaker 1: not saying like anybody can find another way. Some people
Speaker 1: like fishing is in my fucking blood. I'm a good
Speaker 1: ad and I like him, and I don't have the
Speaker 1: same morals and ethics that you're doing. Shit, it could
Speaker 1: never be my way, even before I was vegan, Like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I hate it. I hated fishing when
Speaker 1: I was a child. Oh god, they would take us
Speaker 1: out on those six hour fucking party but never mind
Speaker 1: the brutality of killing a thing, like going into its
Speaker 1: neighborhood and being like, here, god, it's just so fucking boring, bro,
Speaker 1: It's like baseball, and it just reminds me of like
Speaker 1: wasted time in my childhood. Now, mind you, it's probably
Speaker 1: dragged on maybe three party bits across my childhood, but
Speaker 1: that would be eighteen hours of childhood. I'm never getting
Speaker 1: them back now, mind you. I waste a lot of
Speaker 1: time as an adult. That's my choice. That is your choice,
Speaker 1: pick and choose.
Speaker 4: That's my fucking right back then, though, I'll never get them.
Speaker 1: That's quality time. You know what I'm saying, Almost everybody
Speaker 1: from that period, you know who ain't mammally gone dead,
Speaker 1: I don't get to spend no time with them, and shit, instead,
Speaker 1: what was I doing sitting on a part already? Both
Speaker 1: granted with some of the dead people in question, but still, oh,
Speaker 1: I hate you could have.
Speaker 2: Been sitting on land with Mamally just having a good time.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I would have preferred that I was such a
Speaker 1: Mamay's boy. But yeah, I'm fucking We grew up on
Speaker 1: the water and I hated that ship, but it had
Speaker 1: a lot to do with yours. I'll tell you that much.
Speaker 1: So I know I don't know. I suspect two things
Speaker 1: I've heard and put together on my own tute. Steven
Speaker 1: Spielberg may not like me. Why long story, We don't
Speaker 1: need to retell it here?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 1: Why because your father got big mouth?
Speaker 2: Oh what you fucking do now that I want to
Speaker 2: go over here?
Speaker 1: Judge your back up point band?
Speaker 4: Oh lord.
Speaker 1: Lord, I ain't trying to say we're even, but like
Speaker 1: he did take away my childhood. I grew up in
Speaker 1: a beach town and I couldn't enjoy it because I
Speaker 1: was always like a shark, A shark, shark. I couldn't
Speaker 1: sit on toilet without being likesh.
Speaker 2: That honestly a real fear, A real fear that I
Speaker 2: used to have as well. See that you probably instilled.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, it's probably like genetic and ship
Speaker 1: in your DNA.
Speaker 2: I always was scared of a shark in the toilet.
Speaker 2: I was always scared.
Speaker 1: Could you imagine your DNA is building you and they're like,
Speaker 1: don't forget to put in the scared of sharks unreasonable?
Speaker 2: Also in the tub, anybody of water.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's that is for me. I don't know
Speaker 1: why you would think that unless it was just in
Speaker 1: the jeans, because I don't think I ever said like,
Speaker 1: hey man, a shark could be in the toilet unless
Speaker 1: I related to it as a kid that when I
Speaker 1: was a kid, I was scared of being a sharking
Speaker 1: and the toilet. And maybe then you were like and
Speaker 1: I took you for being like, well, she's reasonably intelligent.
Speaker 1: You'll know that that's ridiculous.
Speaker 2: I've always I've had a thing about bathrooms.
Speaker 1: Why yeah, you fucking staying them forever? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: the moment we went out when you were a child
Speaker 1: the moment the house went to a public place, it
Speaker 1: was just like I gotta go from and then she
Speaker 1: went and ship ain't even like she took a whiz
Speaker 1: and got the fuck out of there. Man like Jennifer
Speaker 1: be gone twenty minutes. I was like, Wow, she's like
Speaker 1: she took a ship.
Speaker 2: You're on the fucking toilet for hours in my hoos
Speaker 2: in my Yeah, I'm not out there.
Speaker 1: I'm not like a fucking burger king going like can
Speaker 1: I go to the bathroom and then disappearing for a
Speaker 1: half hour swinging feet on the toilet.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I gotta fucking go, okay, I.
Speaker 1: Mean sometimes the putting you in a car was like
Speaker 1: a laxative where we wound up next they were going
Speaker 1: to suffer.
Speaker 2: I think I have that.
Speaker 1: I think the car movements just jumbled it up. And
Speaker 1: then whenever we got where we're going, you were like
Speaker 1: I got to drop off kids at the pool.
Speaker 2: I said, yeah, you were a big probably not what
Speaker 2: I meant by the bathroom. I used to be so
Speaker 2: scared of bloody Mary.
Speaker 1: I was so scared.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was so scared.
Speaker 4: Well fed you that ship because I didn't I don't know,
Speaker 4: but I like.
Speaker 2: I also should I say this or no?
Speaker 1: Do it?
Speaker 2: Remember the accident at school in Pittsburgh. No, when I
Speaker 2: heed my pants because I was too scared to go
Speaker 2: to the bathroom alone.
Speaker 1: So you were in I don't remember this at all.
Speaker 1: You don't.
Speaker 2: You had to come get me from school.
Speaker 1: Me personally, you and mom.
Speaker 4: So the idea was you were in class and.
Speaker 2: I really had to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 1: You didn't want to ask to go.
Speaker 2: No, I didn't want to go in the bathroom because
Speaker 2: it was very scary. It was a scary bathroom.
Speaker 1: So you were holding it for a long time, and
Speaker 1: then finally.
Speaker 2: You were like, I thought if I let a little out,
Speaker 2: I would feel better.
Speaker 1: The fuck kind of backwards ass plan is out. How
Speaker 1: old are you eight?
Speaker 4: I don't know, maybe nine or something like that.
Speaker 2: No, not nine, I was like seven.
Speaker 1: We shot that movie came out in two thousand thousand
Speaker 1: and seven CB eight bit. No, I'm born in ninety
Speaker 1: nine seven.
Speaker 2: The movie came out in two thousand and seven.
Speaker 1: Shot it and it came out in two thousand and seven.
Speaker 2: Maybe you shot it in two thousand and six. Maybe
Speaker 2: you're mis remembering. Maybe it was before my birthday and
Speaker 2: I was still seven.
Speaker 1: Look, keep pushing it. I'll prove you were a teenager
Speaker 1: when it happened.
Speaker 2: I don't remember that, Mom would remember? You don't remember?
Speaker 1: I mean, would you want to remember something like that?
Speaker 1: It seems fucking traumatizing enough for you to be.
Speaker 4: Holding on to six.
Speaker 2: I remember it Clara's day? YEA, so embarrassing.
Speaker 1: Do you remember any of the kids in class being like, yes,
Speaker 1: anybody hear that?
Speaker 2: Anyone to hear a stream?
Speaker 1: Was it loud?
Speaker 2: I can't remember that?
Speaker 1: Yes? And then did somebody like raise their hand in
Speaker 1: tattle on you?
Speaker 2: Did you tell I had to tattle myself.
Speaker 1: You're like, look, look, I'm terrified of the bathroom, but
Speaker 1: I'm even more scared was going to happen if I
Speaker 1: continue to let out a little because.
Speaker 2: I thought it would work. I thought it would get
Speaker 2: me through.
Speaker 4: Were you uh embarrassedly sad?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I was. I was mortified.
Speaker 2: I was very sad, and I was very embarrassed. But
Speaker 2: I was more than anything scared of the bathroom. And
Speaker 2: I was very scared of the bathroom in my own
Speaker 2: hoose for my whole childhood.
Speaker 1: Your own bathroom and your own hoos.
Speaker 2: Yes, because I was scared, bloody Mary was there.
Speaker 1: Oh in the mirror.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, they got mirrors all over this fucking house.
Speaker 1: I really do grew up in a house of vanity.
Speaker 1: So bloody Mary was looking around. I mean some people
Speaker 1: got like the mirror in the bathroom and ship. We
Speaker 1: had like hallway mirrors that were just giant mirrors for
Speaker 1: no other reason than like, here's decor at the end
Speaker 1: of a hallway. Giganist asked, fucking mirror, where Bloody maryge
Speaker 1: Probably She's like, oh, it is like a New York apartment. Perfect,
Speaker 1: this is fantastic. I ain't going nowhere.
Speaker 4: I haunt and ship.
Speaker 1: Do you know that.
Speaker 2: I also used to be like very concerned about the
Speaker 2: cracks on the floor because the floor is tile and
Speaker 2: there are like cracks in some places, and I used
Speaker 2: to make sure I did not step.
Speaker 4: On it for fear of breaking your mother's back.
Speaker 2: Your back, isn't it your Oh no, I guess it
Speaker 2: is your mother's back.
Speaker 4: Don't step on a crack and break your mad it's back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was. I was really trying to prevent breaking
Speaker 2: your mother.
Speaker 4: Might I see good?
Speaker 1: Look it out?
Speaker 2: I tried.
Speaker 1: You could have just thrown a rug down.
Speaker 2: Basically my point is I was living in fear. I
Speaker 2: was truly living in fear. No cracks, no mirrors, no bathroom.
Speaker 1: Until Sinny, until Sinny was the courage Sinna. I know,
Speaker 1: perhaps it's premature, but well.
Speaker 2: Perhaps, but the uh you can speak about it in
Speaker 2: hopes that it happens.
Speaker 1: There is a believe it or not kids. I always
Speaker 1: find this fucking fascinating. There there there are things called
Speaker 1: bunny rescues, of course, where it's like who gets rid
Speaker 1: of bunny?
Speaker 2: So many people, I guess, but this one's not even.
Speaker 1: Sa ain't even that. This is a situation of somebody
Speaker 1: who has a bunny, but they can't keep the bunny
Speaker 1: because somebody's allergic to the bunny.
Speaker 2: Today I went to a fitting and I did you get.
Speaker 1: Ready to tell the tale? You're like, bro, bro, this is.
Speaker 2: Please, thank you. And I have this necklace on that
Speaker 2: Austin got me for Christmas, That says Sinna, very thoughtful.
Speaker 4: I think we talked about it on one of the
Speaker 4: other episodes.
Speaker 5: But yes, Harry fucking score Austin and true like path,
Speaker 5: yes you know you're getting really fucked for these.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, So anyways, I was at this fitting.
Speaker 1: I hate you.
Speaker 2: The costume designer saw my.
Speaker 1: Necklace, can we sign bar for one second?
Speaker 2: The costume designers were right back.
Speaker 4: To the costume design, but just to just when I
Speaker 4: saw it. It took me back.
Speaker 1: I I've been given quite a few pieces of jewelry
Speaker 1: in my day, mostly to your mother.
Speaker 4: But even prior to that, I've given jewelry to.
Speaker 1: Some Oh.
Speaker 2: Scam.
Speaker 1: Well, let me tell you. None of the jay I
Speaker 1: ever gave out before your mother ever came. Fucking Tiffany,
Speaker 1: that was your mother. Beat that shit into me. But anyway,
Speaker 1: back in the day, way back in the day, I
Speaker 1: was going out with this girl and she was summer
Speaker 1: of eighty nine and Batman was coming Tim Burton's Batman
Speaker 1: and it was fucking huge. Remember how big Deadpool Wolverine
Speaker 1: was this summer. Times that by five and you'll get
Speaker 1: Batmania like it was fucking everywhere the whole fucking world.
Speaker 1: It was amazing. So oddly enough, they weren't ready for it,
Speaker 1: like you would think, like Batman, Oh my god, they
Speaker 1: must have been printing money with all the merchandise. They
Speaker 1: weren't ready. So action figures came later, and we're not good.
Speaker 1: The first wave a lot of ship came later. Who
Speaker 1: was on top of it was like d C because
Speaker 1: they were doing fucking.
Speaker 2: Batman where this is going?
Speaker 4: So I probably not so really, yeah.
Speaker 1: There was no Batman jewelry whatsoever. And this girl that
Speaker 1: I was going out with, I wanted to get her
Speaker 1: a bat insignia because which now, you know, fucking throw
Speaker 1: a rock in any mall if there's one left, and
Speaker 1: you'll find somebody's alway ship. You don't have to go
Speaker 1: that far. Go to Target, you can buy a fucking
Speaker 1: Batman Nicholas. But back then nothing. So I was going
Speaker 1: to school at the New School for Social Research at
Speaker 1: Eugene Lang up in the city, and I was had
Speaker 1: a work study program, so I worked in the office
Speaker 1: every day for like three hours for I forget the
Speaker 1: lady's name, Dorothy, I forget no Dorothy. Dotty was her
Speaker 1: assistant and I kind of intern for Dottie, so Dotty
Speaker 1: knew New York Way better than me. One of the
Speaker 1: only times I ever been in a subway in my
Speaker 1: life was when Dotty took me onto the subway to
Speaker 1: go to Chinatown to go to a jeweler and get
Speaker 1: a Batman logo necklace made and I had to, you know,
Speaker 1: just took a picture out and gave it to the
Speaker 1: guy and tried to communicate. Is because his English was
Speaker 1: way better than my fucking Chinese. But like he was
Speaker 1: trying to, I was trying to communicate, like it could
Speaker 1: kind of look like this. They did it while we waited.
Speaker 3: Whoa.
Speaker 1: It took out a sheet of fucking eighteen or fourteen
Speaker 1: care gold whatever fucking you know gold? I think fourteen
Speaker 1: care gold is the standard, right, took out this like
Speaker 1: thin sheet of gold and like literally just cut a
Speaker 1: bat that's fire fire in nineteen eighty nine and shit.
Speaker 1: And so when you were like, Austin gave me this
Speaker 1: and it said Senna, I was like, okay, I know
Speaker 1: he ain't going into target being like, yo, do you
Speaker 1: have Senna? And gold? Like Senna did not exist until
Speaker 1: he had it made. So that I was like, how
Speaker 1: how ironic the man she wants to marry just like
Speaker 1: dear old dad, oh.
Speaker 2: Fund, But how narcissistic? Oh egotistical?
Speaker 1: That yes, I didn't think of that was too bad.
Speaker 1: I mean I literally look behind me, pictures me everywhere.
Speaker 1: That seems way more egotistical than maybe.
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, I made a jewelry for my girlfriend too.
Speaker 6: To say that Austin is like dear old dad because
Speaker 6: he got me a necklace trying to ruin my good time.
Speaker 1: Every boy marries his mother. Conversely, I would imagine maybe
Speaker 1: every daughter married.
Speaker 2: About and so I'm packing up for the day. I'm
Speaker 2: packing up.
Speaker 1: You're an audition, a fitting. You had a fitting for
Speaker 1: a movie. Sidebar, we're both shut up.
Speaker 4: Back to your state.
Speaker 1: She had a good time doing. I got to act,
Speaker 1: I got to say lines, good for you, got for you.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, get that kind of work often me, me, me,
Speaker 1: because I don't hire myself with that person.
Speaker 2: This is this is the time when all I hear
Speaker 2: is yeah, yeah, that's what I'm hearing right now, all
Speaker 2: right back to you anyways, So can I say it
Speaker 2: or are you gonna sidebar?
Speaker 1: It's just funny because you know what I hear.
Speaker 2: That noise was like through something my dad.
Speaker 1: For those who aren't watching, which is a good time
Speaker 1: to remind the audience if you're just listening to beardless
Speaker 1: dickless me, what the fuck you're missing out?
Speaker 2: You could watch my your disdain for the man.
Speaker 1: In front of me by going to that Kevinsmith dot com.
Speaker 4: That Kevin Smith club dot com.
Speaker 1: Club that's important anyway, There you are there, you are
Speaker 1: trying ship on for your movie, Yes, for your motion
Speaker 1: picture debut of twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: And the costume designer asked what my necklace said? I
Speaker 2: said Sinna, And I said, my rabbit has passed away.
Speaker 1: And what.
Speaker 2: She asked, who sinner was? I said, my rabbit? She
Speaker 2: just passed away.
Speaker 1: And then say, no, you didn't tell her that your
Speaker 1: fucking boyfriend had that maid. That's like a big part
Speaker 1: of the.
Speaker 2: Show talking Aboutna no ship, but who gave it to you?
Speaker 1: She didn't stop to be like, well, I know you
Speaker 1: can't just buy cent off the rack, so what's the
Speaker 1: story there.
Speaker 6: She's a costume designer, so I'm pretty sure she knows
Speaker 6: where to get a custom necklace.
Speaker 1: Then I would imagine she would have been like, oh,
Speaker 1: did you have that maid because you love your bunny
Speaker 1: so much, which would have opened the door for to
Speaker 1: be like, I did not, but my boyfriend did.
Speaker 4: And by the door, it's something my father also.
Speaker 1: Courty story. Why can't can't it be me?
Speaker 2: I'm kidding me, kiving me? Can't please?
Speaker 1: It sucks when stories don't have me go back to
Speaker 1: your story. I'm fucking I'm on the edge of my seat.
Speaker 1: What does he do?
Speaker 4: This man you seek?
Speaker 2: I was talking to a woman.
Speaker 1: And oh my god, what what does he do?
Speaker 4: This man you seek?
Speaker 2: Tell me? Is it Harry Potter? He sounded like snape.
Speaker 1: Not a bad I mean, nowhere near what it is.
Speaker 2: But I could see where you might You sounded like snape.
Speaker 2: That's why?
Speaker 4: What does he do this man you seek?
Speaker 1: No, that is incidental, not ringing any bells.
Speaker 4: You are so ba.
Speaker 1: At this game.
Speaker 2: Showing the sheep close?
Speaker 4: What is a little sheep?
Speaker 1: Lamb?
Speaker 2: Oh, silence of the lambs?
Speaker 1: Like you know what? She got the reference from that?
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, ready, yeah, alright.
Speaker 7: So the costume lady Yeslace, inquires about my necklace and
Speaker 7: I tell her it is my rabbit who just passed away.
Speaker 2: She said, wow, I know of a rabbit who needs
Speaker 2: a home right now. That's crazy.
Speaker 1: Oh, this kid's This is the point of the story,
Speaker 1: not so much that Austin credit that my.
Speaker 6: Dad made a necklace for his fucking past girlfriend, which
Speaker 6: I really want to hear about, and then how it
Speaker 6: relates to Austin.
Speaker 1: Listen, to the stories that you tell about your boyfriend
Speaker 1: and stuff.
Speaker 2: I tell compelling stories about how I pissed my pants.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, you're right, and.
Speaker 2: I wasn't. AWF, I wasn't planning on adopting another rabbit
Speaker 2: right now.
Speaker 1: Nobody's ever planning on adopting another rabbit right now.
Speaker 2: Well, I wanted at the time that it's meant to,
Speaker 2: and it appears that it's happening. This rabbit needs a home.
Speaker 1: What is this rabbit's name? Billy, Billy, You got a
Speaker 1: picture on your phone?
Speaker 3: Good?
Speaker 1: Yeah, fucking those that Kevin Smith club members are dicklets
Speaker 1: are bess. Check check out that noble customer. Two men
Speaker 1: putting right up to the lens. Look at that champion.
Speaker 1: It's like, hello, I'm here to mend your broken hot darling.
Speaker 1: He looks like cinnamon buddy, an Eastern Atlantic bunny. He's like, holy,
Speaker 1: I'm here to make a fit of that.
Speaker 2: Do you remember what carry grant one time? I was
Speaker 2: trying to say, like an old timey accent. You didn't
Speaker 2: know what I was talking about.
Speaker 1: That's what you're trying to do the midday.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's what I was talking about.
Speaker 1: Really, I do. Yeah, So are you gonna Are you
Speaker 1: gonna let a new bunny into your life?
Speaker 2: We'll see next on next week's episode. I'm gonna go
Speaker 2: meet him tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Relatively confident that we can call this episode Here comes
Speaker 1: the Bun, Here comes the Bun. And that's I think that.
Speaker 2: I asked you a serious question. Do you think cinnamons
Speaker 2: okay with it?
Speaker 1: I think Cinnamon drove Billy into your life. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think Cinnamon's like, she needs a bunny.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be disrespectful to Cinnamon.
Speaker 1: You're not, I think so.
Speaker 2: But also, a bunny needs a home. Am I going
Speaker 2: to say home? And if not, the bunny is going
Speaker 2: to end up in a shelter? And I don't. I don't.
Speaker 1: Judge here, I'm already I'm on board. You ain't got
Speaker 1: to convince me.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying I'm trying to convince myself.
Speaker 1: You don't convince yourself.
Speaker 4: Just do it.
Speaker 1: Nobody's objecting, even your mother, who at first was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, is now like you know when you left,
Speaker 1: you was like looking bunny.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Billy's pretty handsome.
Speaker 1: He was really handsome and Sinna if you believe you
Speaker 1: know all the internet energy is neither created nor destroyed
Speaker 1: all the energy that ever existed from the Big Bang.
Speaker 1: For it, it's the same amount of energy has always
Speaker 1: been in the universe. So the energy of Sinny pushing
Speaker 1: Billy towards you, that's what I would say. That energy
Speaker 1: knows like, hey, this rabbit's in need, and I know
Speaker 1: somebody who's perfect. Yeah, and now the fun begins, Pewie.
Speaker 1: But there's a chance you may not get Billy.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know if Billy. It's like if
Speaker 2: I meet Billy and Billy's like.
Speaker 1: He does all.
Speaker 2: If you find.
Speaker 6: Any speaks, no, i'd be likennies behind holy ship.
Speaker 1: I got one of them. I'm rich. Oh Katholu, bunny,
Speaker 1: give me my magic wish, fill my belly with wine,
Speaker 1: in my head full of fish. Wait, that's one of us. Sure,
Speaker 1: it's like a monkey's pall kind of story.
Speaker 2: That's exactly what I was hoping for.
Speaker 1: You waste, you blow to the wishes, and then you
Speaker 1: think you're clever and you use the third wish to
Speaker 1: wish for five more wishes. But then that's when the
Speaker 1: Cthulhu bunny is just the bunny hops away. It's that simple.
Speaker 4: You'd imagine you'd be destroyed. But Bunny is like, I
Speaker 4: ain't that kind of cthul.
Speaker 2: But then I.
Speaker 1: Just hop away ship. That's that. You know what's more
Speaker 1: horrifying How I turned my back on you so quickly.
Speaker 2: Yeah that hurts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, anything that could pop out of the ocean, you
Speaker 1: lose Cthulu Bunny period, You who are fucked in this
Speaker 1: life because ain't nobody holds the grounds like a Caulu
Speaker 1: Bunny baby? Oh no, oh no, I hope to god,
Speaker 1: uh Billy comes home tomorrow, and I hope you're very
Speaker 1: happy together.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: I can see this being Uh, you're not gonna get
Speaker 1: this reference. But there was a movie years ago called
Speaker 1: Single White Female, in which, let's see, Bridget Fonda was
Speaker 1: a girl who was going out with Stephen Webber and
Speaker 1: she got a roommate, and the roommate is played by
Speaker 1: the great Jennifer Jason Lee. And it's a kind of
Speaker 1: from Hell genre, like you know, the Nanny from Hell,
Speaker 1: the mother from Hell is the roommate from Hell. So
Speaker 1: slowly she starts like she gets her hair cut like
Speaker 1: Bridget Fonda, like Jennifer Jason Leada. She starts like talking
Speaker 1: like her starts like buying the same clothes. She starts
Speaker 1: twining her scary, and then she wants to replace her scary.
Speaker 1: There's a very fucking like, very very risque scene for
Speaker 1: the nineties because it was an early nineties movie where
Speaker 1: h Stephen I believe it's Stephen Webber her the boyfriend. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure Stephen Webber. He's in bed, like sleeping
Speaker 1: and shit. And then Bridget Fonda playing his girlfriend crawls
Speaker 1: into bed with him and seduces him awake and stuff,
Speaker 1: at least he thinks, and then there's some shenanigans going on.
Speaker 1: I don't want to go deep. You probably don't know
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2: It I no clue oral and whatnot.
Speaker 1: And what happens is he says the bridge of fond
Speaker 1: of character's name, like like fucking Nancy or whatever. He's like, oh, Nancy,
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden they cut to fucking Jennifer
Speaker 1: Jason Lee looking up and going like it's not Nancy,
Speaker 1: and then she quick goes and fucking finishes and he's like, no, no, but.
Speaker 2: So I'm sorry, what are you saying that?
Speaker 1: The bunny? What? What?
Speaker 2: What's the relation here?
Speaker 1: Billy moves in and he starts fucking icing out Austin.
Speaker 1: He becomes this single white bunny for Austin.
Speaker 4: Starts dressing like Austin.
Speaker 1: First he's He's like, a yeah, no, this is Billy,
Speaker 1: real Billy, Billy bunny bullshit. Billy's real, and Billy could
Speaker 1: be a creep.
Speaker 4: He could move in and be like.
Speaker 1: Were this fucking guy? And then if if there is
Speaker 1: no Austin, then I'm the Austin. And so slowly he's
Speaker 1: fucking trying to ice a mount shit. Austin gonna wind
Speaker 1: up in the trunk of your car, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Because Billy is.
Speaker 2: Just making me feel real good about this situation.
Speaker 1: I don't know what happened to him.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm just a bunny.
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, he's getting like a shaggy haircut, wears Scooby Doo
Speaker 1: T shirts and ship.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, stays up late on the Uh.
Speaker 1: You come in my office one day and I'm like, oh, Harley,
Speaker 1: I'm just here rehearsing for four thirty movie Part two
Speaker 1: with Austins around. Bill. That's not Austin.
Speaker 4: That's I'm like, oh, Harley, stop it.
Speaker 1: Austin she's crazy, right, I swear that'sy.
Speaker 2: China and the bunny Cuzulu.
Speaker 1: No. I think Billy is actually a pretty fun name.
Speaker 1: I would never choose.
Speaker 2: I would never choose.
Speaker 1: But if he's coming to you as a billy, I
Speaker 1: think you gotta spend a little time, don't you do?
Speaker 2: Is he gonna sound like? What's he gonna sound like?
Speaker 1: What boy's gonna be an?
Speaker 2: That's talking to Billy?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Billy.
Speaker 3: You're one of them bonies with a wiener leen. I
Speaker 3: had one of them around here. God damn weener bunny.
Speaker 3: Everybody look, it's god damn wiener bunny.
Speaker 1: That we got.
Speaker 4: Say for yourself, weener boy. That's how he gets the
Speaker 4: debuts voice.
Speaker 6: Oh my god, what if Billy's like some Broadway like
Speaker 6: He's like show tunes.
Speaker 2: Type of guy.
Speaker 1: He's like I was raised and Broadway. Hello Hello. He's
Speaker 1: like one sing less sensation and you can't forget the rest?
Speaker 1: Five six?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that is Billy.
Speaker 1: I think I mean this is And this is no.
Speaker 4: Judgment on Sinny, but Sinny came.
Speaker 1: Sinny was a rescue bunny who came from a sad
Speaker 1: situation prior to you like you saved her and made
Speaker 1: her life better and stuff like that. This is a
Speaker 1: bunny who's just like had.
Speaker 2: No problems as far as you know. Good life bunny.
Speaker 1: Very delete. This bunny comes from bell Air.
Speaker 2: This bunny is currently living in Belz.
Speaker 1: This is one of those moneyed bunnies. That's the title
Speaker 1: of the show.
Speaker 4: Never mon Here comes the bun funck that noise, the
Speaker 4: money bunny.
Speaker 2: He's a fancy style.
Speaker 1: And be like, oh, I'll take Billy and to check
Speaker 1: for ten thousand dollars.
Speaker 2: Remember, I need you to support you.
Speaker 1: Like like give a cat or give one of the
Speaker 1: cats in Jersey to somebody who was like, well you
Speaker 1: got to pay for its vet. What the fuck is.
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, right at all? Yeah, the moneyed bunny.
Speaker 1: The Billy bell Aer story. Wow, I like single white bunny,
Speaker 1: single bunny. I like single white females, so it would
Speaker 1: be single bunny.
Speaker 2: Male, single.
Speaker 1: Single bunny. Mail Man and Austin. At one point it
Speaker 1: is just the conversation where it's like, path, it's late
Speaker 1: at night, you're in bed, puff, what do you like Billy?
Speaker 1: I don't trust Billy.
Speaker 2: Fuck God, I'm not gonna be scared of Billy. Now
Speaker 2: you're building Billy up.
Speaker 1: My head rolls over and fucking looks and there's fucking
Speaker 1: Billy on the fuck floor going, oh.
Speaker 2: My god, you're scary me. Well, I guess you'd be
Speaker 2: going after Austin, not me, so I'm good.
Speaker 1: And then not only that, but then he's gonna take
Speaker 1: Austin's place. You're gonna bunnies, looks like you know. But
Speaker 1: then there's the third vacccene where fucking like you finally
Speaker 1: confront the bunny, like where Billy, where's Austin And he's
Speaker 1: just digging into his fucking leg with a knife. It
Speaker 1: was just like, I want you to see what I see, Harley, and.
Speaker 2: I didn't think anything. Oh my god, Billy.
Speaker 1: And it comes down to you and Billy and a gun.
Speaker 1: That's at these movies end, or you push your ey
Speaker 1: I think, and maybe single females got pushed out a window.
Speaker 1: I forget, but like you gotta eventually, you gotta fucking
Speaker 1: kill the intruth.
Speaker 2: Billy throws me out the window of my one story home.
Speaker 1: Sometimes in these stories, the psychopath, like you know, does
Speaker 1: some damage to the hero heroine, but generally no, you're
Speaker 1: left alone. It's the world around you that gets destroyed,
Speaker 1: almost to the point where you could be framed for
Speaker 1: these things as well. But then that wasn't her plan
Speaker 1: so much as like ultimately just replacing you.
Speaker 2: So Billy's planned, that'd.
Speaker 1: Be Billy's planning. Billy sees how good Austin has it.
Speaker 2: It's just like sitting back, he's just waiting.
Speaker 1: Looking around doing the fucking like square footage for a bunny.
Speaker 2: Buying a gun. Yeah, Billy look, or maybe Billy already
Speaker 2: had one.
Speaker 1: It comes with because when you live in bel Air. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I get that fresh Prince.
Speaker 2: Money bunnies in bel Air.
Speaker 1: You know what, Let's leave the bunny on the back
Speaker 1: burner for the moment and address the elephant in the room.
Speaker 1: And my lashes they're awfully up pointing. My god, Is
Speaker 1: that what it's called?
Speaker 2: Would you say that my lashes are lifted?
Speaker 1: Is that what it is?
Speaker 4: It's a lash lift?
Speaker 1: Is that a process? That's a thing.
Speaker 7: Okay, So you have my eyelashes, Yes, you gave me
Speaker 7: your eyelashes that go all the way down.
Speaker 2: But instead of going up, bruh, they don't go to
Speaker 2: they don't.
Speaker 4: Go That's that's what your mom calls me.
Speaker 1: All the way down.
Speaker 2: Shut up?
Speaker 1: They point downward, yes, normally point out my lashes lashes, yes,
Speaker 1: normally point upward.
Speaker 2: Ideally yes, ideally but not normal no.
Speaker 1: Our downward pointing ones or outliers. Yes, And why on
Speaker 1: fuck sake would you want to normalize? Fucking what are you? Sneech?
Speaker 1: That sneech? Didn't I read that sneeche book to you
Speaker 1: and your mother as well? I did the suses she
Speaker 1: did all you read me the sneech book.
Speaker 4: I did read souses.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I did, as a matter of fact, and
Speaker 1: I did voices performances. And then one day you were like,
Speaker 1: maybe I want to be an actor. Do you wonder
Speaker 1: how sneech there were no stars upon oars?
Speaker 2: You're a sneech.
Speaker 4: No, I'm the fucking guy selling the stars.
Speaker 1: That's why I want to be in that story, because
Speaker 1: the sneaches without the star, they're both fucking idiots. Like,
Speaker 1: that's the point of that story.
Speaker 2: You're the ones.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not the ones there. It hits a whole
Speaker 1: different story in that story.
Speaker 4: I'm the loraxe, I speak for the tree.
Speaker 2: You're the one creepy little that lives in the town.
Speaker 1: No way, that ain't no way, you're that creepy. That's Billy.
Speaker 1: That's why I never see him. And Ship puts on
Speaker 1: that human mit points and Ship then takes it off.
Speaker 1: Just there poxt Moe. He's the hunter Rose of Yeah,
Speaker 1: foster cats not foster what would.
Speaker 2: It be adopted cat? You give huge onancelor vibes.
Speaker 4: You don't even know what a once ser vibe is.
Speaker 2: I do, I'm looking at it.
Speaker 1: No, it ain't here.
Speaker 4: I'll do you.
Speaker 1: I'll show you right now. Can never be the once sir,
Speaker 1: once there would never be vegan m yeah, so eat it. Well.
Speaker 2: You made a pretty non vegan point earlier, which one
Speaker 2: the one about the fish.
Speaker 1: It's compassionate human point. I look, I love all animals,
Speaker 1: including the.
Speaker 2: Human animal, including the humans.
Speaker 4: Humans.
Speaker 1: Humans are like fucking you know. They may not be
Speaker 1: as cute, but they can do cool things.
Speaker 2: Humans can do cool things.
Speaker 1: And I'm I'm also humans, like I got no choice.
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm team German Shepherd too.
Speaker 2: I think there's always an option for what to not
Speaker 2: eat animals. That's not true a lot of the time.
Speaker 1: I I.
Speaker 2: Mean, you know what, sure beans.
Speaker 1: I don't have beans at a desert island. Man if
Speaker 1: you're standing on a fucking knitting needle in the middle
Speaker 1: of Point Nemo. You think you're going to be eaten beans?
Speaker 1: You know what, You ain't gonna beaten fish because nothing
Speaker 1: lives there. Do you know what? You know what's out there?
Speaker 1: That's when they crashed rockets? Really yeah, that's the rocket
Speaker 1: aveyard man, they say. You know, so the International Space
Speaker 1: Station is starting to show cracks, and it's like, I
Speaker 1: ain't gonna last forever. When it comes down in a
Speaker 1: controlled descent, they're gonna drop the whole First, they'll take
Speaker 1: off all the you know, fucking toxic hazards and fluids
Speaker 1: and shit like that, and then that fucker will go
Speaker 1: right into the into Point Nemo because there's nothing living
Speaker 1: out there. And get this, it may create some fucking
Speaker 1: life because a reef will grow out of it.
Speaker 2: Oh, isn't that fact that interesting?
Speaker 1: So yeah, if you're at Point Nemo, you're not afraid
Speaker 1: to get eaten by a fucking shark or even a cuthulhu.
Speaker 1: You're terrified of you're gonna your event.
Speaker 4: You can't what are you going tread water forever?
Speaker 2: Are you gonna? I think I think by that point
Speaker 2: you're not even thinking about food if you're standing on
Speaker 2: a knitting needle.
Speaker 1: I can tell you exactly what was going through my
Speaker 1: head because I was fucking sobering a ship.
Speaker 4: I was just like, this is it.
Speaker 1: I knew. I knew the complete opposite of hope, which
Speaker 1: I guess is fear terror. I was like, there's no
Speaker 1: fucking hope, Like, this situation is never going to get
Speaker 1: better than this. Think about it. I was balancing on
Speaker 1: a knitting needle that was extended out of the ocean,
Speaker 1: and in point.
Speaker 2: Nemo could not get worse.
Speaker 1: It's all gonna get worse. That is the best it's
Speaker 1: ever going to be, because every moment after that is
Speaker 1: me falling into the water, treading water, drowning.
Speaker 2: And yeah, that's true.
Speaker 4: So I'm at least like I'm.
Speaker 1: On quote unquote pland I mean, I gotta fucking find
Speaker 1: the upside to this shit. Good point, but I woke
Speaker 1: the fuck up, bro, because I was like, yeah, and
Speaker 1: it did make me go like, oh fuck.
Speaker 4: One day reminded me of that, Uh what was that
Speaker 4: the Foo Fighters song?
Speaker 1: What of these days?
Speaker 2: Is that what you were singing to yourself while standing
Speaker 2: on the knitting needle?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what is it?
Speaker 4: You one of these days.
Speaker 1: You're the bombs will drop, is it? Hope will stop
Speaker 1: and you'll learn to live in fear. That's It's true.
Speaker 1: The opposite of fear, I guess is hope because there's like,
Speaker 1: hey man, maybe something something to work out, maybe you know,
Speaker 1: but like fucking when you're like, nothing is going to
Speaker 1: work out if I fall off this, when I fall
Speaker 1: off this fucking knitting needle that I'm fucking balanced on
Speaker 1: the middle of the furthest point from humanity from land,
Speaker 1: I should say on the globe number one, Who.
Speaker 4: Did I upset you?
Speaker 2: Really somewhere?
Speaker 4: Ooh the fuck you really?
Speaker 1: Like? Oh, I don't want to kill him.
Speaker 2: I just I just want to place him on a
Speaker 2: knitting needle and.
Speaker 1: If he dies out there, that ain't on me. I
Speaker 1: watched a video about a team that went out to
Speaker 1: Point Nemo, like the.
Speaker 2: Dreams about this.
Speaker 1: They got off the boat like they had a fucking
Speaker 1: counter and ship like a counter compass, and they were like,
Speaker 1: these are the exact coordinates. They got off the boat
Speaker 1: and they swam around in a point.
Speaker 2: Because nothing's there there. I fact that until comes.
Speaker 1: Out of the water. Look, bro, you don't even got
Speaker 1: to bring kathudo and make it scary. The desolation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know how fucking alone you would be.
Speaker 2: That's terrifying.
Speaker 1: It robs the mind of reason and logic. You will
Speaker 1: never see anyone else again.
Speaker 4: And you know.
Speaker 1: That your breaths are numbered at that point. I mean
Speaker 1: they always are. But now you're you're getting to the
Speaker 1: low end. You're you're you're only in double digits left.
Speaker 1: But honestly, isn't that every moment of your life?
Speaker 2: Fuck?
Speaker 1: Truly, whenever I start to think about like, oh, man,
Speaker 1: fucking this or this or in my I start whipping
Speaker 1: up like things to be scared about in the future.
Speaker 1: I'm always like, you could fucking drop dead in ten minutes.
Speaker 1: A meteor could come fucking rocketing through the house. You'd
Speaker 1: be only the second person that was ever hit by
Speaker 1: a meteor and the first ever killed. So you know
Speaker 1: i'd be I have that going for me. I mean,
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, Clerk's end, he's the
Speaker 1: only human being that ever got hit by a meteor
Speaker 1: and died.
Speaker 2: Wow, can somebody get hit by a meteor and love?
Speaker 1: It? Was a Lady Morbid Facts four hundred and ninety
Speaker 1: three ethel Whatever the fuck was in her bed when
Speaker 1: she heard a loud noise and felt something stinging. She
Speaker 1: turned on the light to see a hole in the
Speaker 1: ceiling and a meteor in bed beside her. If it
Speaker 1: had gone two inches to the left, she would have
Speaker 1: been the second person hit by a meteor in the
Speaker 1: first one who died that well, the first person who
Speaker 1: got hit by a meter and the first person died
Speaker 1: from it. Nobody's ever died by getting as far as
Speaker 1: we know recorded. I mean, you know, life is long
Speaker 1: and there are nooks and crannies everywhere, So maybe it happened.
Speaker 1: Nobody reported it, but I doubt it because that's the
Speaker 1: kind of thing you tell people like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: do you know Barbara, she got hit by fucking meteor
Speaker 1: and died? Like, you can't prepare against that? What are
Speaker 1: younna do? Wear a fucking suit armor for the rest
Speaker 1: of your life.
Speaker 2: That's something you talk about.
Speaker 1: Telling you, bro, you gotta live every moment in your
Speaker 1: life like you're standing on a fucking darning needle that's
Speaker 1: jutting out of the water at point nemo. Facts on God,
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 4: What's that? What is it?
Speaker 1: On? God?
Speaker 2: On God?
Speaker 4: It just means because God is my witness. Yeah, kind
Speaker 4: of thing like I swear to God.
Speaker 2: He means like true truth. Yeah on God.
Speaker 1: Period. There it is because there's your beardless dickless more
Speaker 1: for the beginning of twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's two weeks.
Speaker 1: So far, so good, so far so good. There it
Speaker 1: is man, uh for beardless dickless me to our good
Speaker 1: folks who listen to this. iHeart radio show. That's Spotify
Speaker 1: and Apple wherever you get these fucking podcasts these days. Kids, Uh,
Speaker 1: thanks for hanging out. Thank you with me.
Speaker 4: And with Billy's mom.
Speaker 1: Yeah, feeling it for beardless. This is me, I'm Kevin
Speaker 1: and go for beardless tickless day.
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Speaker 8: our mouths on you since two thousand and seven. Hey, kids,
Speaker 8: did you like what you just heard?
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