1 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:17,120 Welcome to episode 44 of Working Towards Our 2 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:20,840 Purpose. Thank you for being here once again. I 3 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,760 always like to start these episodes with a positive thing. 4 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:28,590 So I think the positive thing that's been on my mind 5 00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:32,390 a bit has is how the beautiful the 6 00:00:32,390 --> 00:00:35,470 weather has been recently. Last week was just 7 00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:39,310 like ideal summer weather. Not too hot or 8 00:00:39,310 --> 00:00:43,110 humid, just like beautiful, sunny. So, 9 00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:44,830 yeah, I think it just reminds me 10 00:00:46,750 --> 00:00:50,230 that I like living in New England because of the 11 00:00:50,230 --> 00:00:53,950 seasons and because it gives you the sort 12 00:00:53,950 --> 00:00:57,150 of choice chance to like, appreciate the seasons before they go away. 13 00:00:57,790 --> 00:01:01,630 So there's always like a point mid summer where like I realize, 14 00:01:01,710 --> 00:01:05,470 oh, it's, it's summer now and it's really nice out and in a couple 15 00:01:05,470 --> 00:01:09,150 months it's going to be probably cold or not as nice 16 00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:12,990 out. So I should enjoy what's currently 17 00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:16,750 happening. So just wanted to, to acknowledge that 18 00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:20,470 and say that it's still nice out and we can still go out and enjoy 19 00:01:20,470 --> 00:01:24,270 the summer weather and then, yeah, just appreciate 20 00:01:24,270 --> 00:01:27,990 that. I got my bike out for the 21 00:01:27,990 --> 00:01:31,070 first time in a long time last week and that's been kind of a nice 22 00:01:31,070 --> 00:01:34,830 thing to do as I'm enjoying the weather. So 23 00:01:34,910 --> 00:01:38,670 looking forward to doing some more of that. But yeah, so getting into 24 00:01:38,830 --> 00:01:42,350 today's episode, today 25 00:01:42,430 --> 00:01:46,030 I want to talk about struggling. 26 00:01:47,390 --> 00:01:50,830 I've been, I've been struggling this morning as, as you could 27 00:01:51,330 --> 00:01:54,690 maybe tell by the lack of articulation in my intro. 28 00:01:55,890 --> 00:01:59,610 But. But yeah, last night and this morning been really, been really 29 00:01:59,610 --> 00:02:02,850 struggling with playing into fear, 30 00:02:03,810 --> 00:02:07,450 you know, thinking you're not good enough, self 31 00:02:07,450 --> 00:02:11,210 doubt, self criticism, feeling like 32 00:02:11,210 --> 00:02:14,450 I can't do something, you know, thinking about the future, 33 00:02:14,690 --> 00:02:18,290 thinking about the past, just, you know, too much thinking 34 00:02:18,290 --> 00:02:22,060 about the possibilities of things going wrong. 35 00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:26,460 And, and yeah, I kind of just wanted to, 36 00:02:27,420 --> 00:02:31,060 you know, talk about that. I think I was, I was also, you 37 00:02:31,060 --> 00:02:34,780 know, worrying about, like, what should this episode be about. 38 00:02:35,020 --> 00:02:38,780 There's some other topics I wanted to. Was thinking about talking about. 39 00:02:38,780 --> 00:02:42,540 But I think as I want this 40 00:02:42,540 --> 00:02:44,620 podcast to be sort of 41 00:02:46,290 --> 00:02:49,810 what's happening currently and authentic and genuine to who I am, 42 00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:53,570 I think, yeah, talking about struggling right now 43 00:02:53,650 --> 00:02:57,370 seems to be what I'm being pushed 44 00:02:57,370 --> 00:02:59,970 to talk about. So, yeah, I think 45 00:03:01,570 --> 00:03:04,570 if you're struggling right now or if you've ever struggled in the past, we all 46 00:03:04,570 --> 00:03:08,330 have. I think thinking about it and then 47 00:03:08,330 --> 00:03:11,890 thinking about, like, what we can do to kind of 48 00:03:12,510 --> 00:03:16,150 pull ourselves out of it. And specifically, I 49 00:03:16,150 --> 00:03:19,870 think, you know, what I'm struggling with is playing into 50 00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:23,790 fear. And I feel like there's 51 00:03:23,790 --> 00:03:26,830 always two choices. You can Pick that. You can either 52 00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:31,150 play into fear or you could play into 53 00:03:33,230 --> 00:03:36,910 faith or hope or positivity, however you want to call it. 54 00:03:38,140 --> 00:03:40,460 And there's always like two ways of looking at things. You can always look at 55 00:03:40,460 --> 00:03:44,260 the negative or the positive. That's. That's what I'm trying to say. The negative or 56 00:03:44,260 --> 00:03:47,940 the positive. So, you know, when. When you're in a negative mindset. When 57 00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:51,580 I'm in a negative mindset, all the fears, all the negative 58 00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:55,180 negativities coming through, and 59 00:03:56,140 --> 00:03:59,780 I think, you know, I've kind of made some 60 00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:03,260 notes for this episode and I think I have like three. Three steps, I guess, 61 00:04:03,260 --> 00:04:07,080 if you will, to try to help pull yourself out of a negative mindset 62 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,840 or a negative feeling. And 63 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:14,360 I think the first one is kind of just 64 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:18,080 accepting and realizing that that's happening. I think for 65 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:21,920 me, a lot of times in the past, I can go 66 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,640 into negative thought cycles and feel bad 67 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,720 about myself and not even really realize that I'm doing it. 68 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:34,320 But I think through going to therapy and working on myself 69 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,170 and learning about emotions, 70 00:04:38,450 --> 00:04:42,170 I realized that, like, these sort 71 00:04:42,170 --> 00:04:45,730 of emotions and the way you're feeling about something 72 00:04:45,810 --> 00:04:49,410 can come and go. And that if you're stuck 73 00:04:49,410 --> 00:04:52,930 in a negative cycle or a negative thought 74 00:04:52,930 --> 00:04:56,690 pattern, it doesn't necessarily mean, like, that's who you are. I 75 00:04:56,690 --> 00:04:59,930 think I always kind of like, tied it to, like, my self worth. If I'm 76 00:04:59,930 --> 00:05:03,730 feeling bad or negative, then that means I'm a bad person 77 00:05:03,730 --> 00:05:07,570 and I'm negative and there's something wrong with me. So I think the first step 78 00:05:07,570 --> 00:05:11,330 is accepting that how you're feeling is 79 00:05:11,330 --> 00:05:14,970 okay and you're worthy as you are and there's nothing wrong with 80 00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:18,730 you. And I think I constantly 81 00:05:18,730 --> 00:05:21,490 have to kind of remind myself that. And, 82 00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:26,050 you know, maybe if you need that reminder today that you are 83 00:05:26,050 --> 00:05:29,840 worthy as you are and you know however you're feeling 84 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:33,680 is acceptable. I think there's probably a lot 85 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:37,400 of reasons why we think that, or I 86 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,720 think that that could not be acceptable. But 87 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,880 yeah, I think that it doesn't matter. The truth is that you are 88 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,840 however you're feeling. So I think that's the first step in trying to 89 00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:52,640 get out of this negative cycle is to first 90 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:56,790 just accept that and then the next thing 91 00:05:56,870 --> 00:06:00,310 that you can try to do is just focus on the present tense. Because 92 00:06:00,550 --> 00:06:04,270 a lot of things, a lot of the things that you're worrying about or 93 00:06:04,270 --> 00:06:08,070 that I'm worrying about aren't. They don't have anything 94 00:06:08,070 --> 00:06:11,630 to do with, like, right now. They only have to do with things in the 95 00:06:11,630 --> 00:06:14,870 past that maybe I, oh, I should have done this, or maybe I should have 96 00:06:14,870 --> 00:06:18,670 done this, or maybe I shouldn't have done this, or it's the future thinking 97 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:22,430 about, well, you know, I want this in the future, but I don't know how 98 00:06:22,430 --> 00:06:26,270 to get there. Worrying about if I can get there 99 00:06:26,270 --> 00:06:29,590 or certain monetary 100 00:06:29,910 --> 00:06:33,710 things, will I have enough money then? Will this thing 101 00:06:33,710 --> 00:06:36,870 make me enough money? So just worrying about 102 00:06:37,590 --> 00:06:41,350 things that really you can't do anything about 103 00:06:41,350 --> 00:06:45,190 right now. The present tense is the only thing that's real and it's 104 00:06:45,190 --> 00:06:48,750 the only thing that you can actually do something in and focus 105 00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:52,440 on. So trying to get yourself to 106 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:55,480 the present tense. And 107 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,400 I think that 108 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:04,040 trying to do. There's things you can do to 109 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:07,240 get yourself to the present tense. And that's kind of what I was doing with 110 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:11,000 my morning. So I just paused because I was 111 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,800 looking at these three steps that I wrote. And step two and three 112 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:17,480 are basically the same thing. Just bring yourself to the present tense. 113 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,740 So in that case, we have two steps today. So I got two steps for 114 00:07:22,740 --> 00:07:26,100 you. One of them is just accepting, like I said, and then the second one 115 00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:30,180 is bring yourself to the present tense. And yeah, so 116 00:07:30,180 --> 00:07:33,940 that's what I've been doing kind of in my, with, with my morning, trying 117 00:07:33,940 --> 00:07:37,660 to do things that bring me to the present tense. So for 118 00:07:37,660 --> 00:07:41,500 me, going for a run is 119 00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:45,060 good at helping me become present because for me, 120 00:07:45,220 --> 00:07:49,060 running is a difficult thing and you have to like, focus on, 121 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:53,880 you know, putting one step in front of the other and running and not 122 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:57,440 stopping and, you know, thinking about your pace and stuff. 123 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:01,560 Um, so, so that's really helpful. Walking is also really 124 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:05,359 helpful if you're not a runner. Um, I think going for a walk can 125 00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:08,960 be really helpful to get out of your head. Can be helpful to like focus 126 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:12,640 on other things, you know, interact with nature, 127 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:16,570 being outside. Something else that can be really helpful 128 00:08:16,810 --> 00:08:20,610 is yoga. I've noticed, for me, because 129 00:08:20,610 --> 00:08:24,250 it's like, it's like a simple thing. I do YouTube yoga and 130 00:08:24,730 --> 00:08:28,450 I'm by no means an expert or anything. I just started one day on 131 00:08:28,450 --> 00:08:31,690 YouTube and I do these 10 minute yogas and 132 00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:35,770 they can be challenging sometimes, but it's, it's just a. 133 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:40,370 And I'm sure this is, you know, proven in yoga books a thousand times 134 00:08:40,370 --> 00:08:44,210 over. But doing something as simple as just like moving and 135 00:08:44,210 --> 00:08:47,790 breathing how the instructor is telling you to do it 136 00:08:47,790 --> 00:08:51,430 doesn't leave room for thinking about other things because you're 137 00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:54,510 like, I gotta put my leg over here and then I gotta put my arm 138 00:08:54,510 --> 00:08:58,150 up Here. And you're constantly kind of just moving your body 139 00:08:58,150 --> 00:09:01,950 and breathing, and then before you know it, you didn't think about any 140 00:09:01,950 --> 00:09:05,430 of the negative stuff that you were thinking about before you started yoga. 141 00:09:05,430 --> 00:09:09,030 And it kind of gives you a little bit of a break. 142 00:09:10,790 --> 00:09:13,750 Another thing that I like to do 143 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:18,680 is journaling. And that can be, sometimes that can be good, sometimes that 144 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:22,520 can be bad, but I think all depending on how you're feeling. 145 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,960 But one thing that was helpful for me was practicing 146 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:29,760 gratitude and physically just writing down the things 147 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:33,160 that you're grateful for. And I think that that's always a good thing, 148 00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:37,400 because when you are practicing appreciating the things 149 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:41,180 that you have, it becomes really hard to think about 150 00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:44,940 the things that you don't have or to, you know, think about, like, oh, well, 151 00:09:45,180 --> 00:09:48,980 you know, maybe I should worry about this or that when you're, when you're 152 00:09:48,980 --> 00:09:52,820 actively being like, I'm grateful for the food that's in 153 00:09:52,820 --> 00:09:55,740 my fridge because I won't go hungry for the rest of the day. 154 00:09:56,700 --> 00:10:00,380 Like, you can't, you can't think negative. It's like, 155 00:10:00,380 --> 00:10:03,940 there's only space, space for one thing to exist 156 00:10:03,940 --> 00:10:07,270 almost. And then, yeah. Lastly, 157 00:10:08,070 --> 00:10:11,670 I think slowing down is, is helpful. Um, I 158 00:10:11,670 --> 00:10:15,390 think for me, when I have a lot of things that 159 00:10:15,390 --> 00:10:17,990 I want to do and I'm trying to focus on too many things at once, 160 00:10:19,350 --> 00:10:22,950 I could feel like I'm not making enough progress or I'm not doing 161 00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:26,310 enough things, not working enough. Um, 162 00:10:27,110 --> 00:10:30,870 and you kind of, I, I, I kind of just, like, keep falling 163 00:10:30,870 --> 00:10:34,510 down that pattern of not enough. Right. 164 00:10:34,670 --> 00:10:37,630 Because it becomes like, oh, well, these are all the things I want to do. 165 00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:42,030 I'm not doing them fast enough. I want to do more things. So that 166 00:10:42,030 --> 00:10:45,390 means, you know, I'm not good enough because I should be making more of them, 167 00:10:46,510 --> 00:10:50,230 doing more things, accomplishing more. And 168 00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:53,390 then it just, you know, gets you right back down to the you are not 169 00:10:53,390 --> 00:10:55,470 worthy sort of thinking. 170 00:10:56,910 --> 00:11:00,750 So, yeah, slowing down, taking some stuff off your plate, if 171 00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:02,950 that's what's necessary, focusing on one thing 172 00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:06,710 and really just trying to, 173 00:11:08,390 --> 00:11:12,230 I don't know, get back to yourself 174 00:11:12,310 --> 00:11:16,030 and, and, and be comfortable with, like, however it is that 175 00:11:16,030 --> 00:11:19,750 you're feeling. And I think something else, too, 176 00:11:19,750 --> 00:11:23,110 that, like, I'm noticing as I'm, like, going through my morning, is 177 00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:27,420 that once I did sort of accept that maybe I'm not 178 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:31,060 feeling great and I'm gonna, like, try to take it easy. Like, I thought about 179 00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:33,860 the podcast. I'm like, okay, if it's a little shorter today, that's fine. 180 00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:37,540 You know at least I, at least I got there and 181 00:11:38,180 --> 00:11:41,780 was authentic and myself and that's my goal with this 182 00:11:42,260 --> 00:11:46,020 so you know that's okay and that's enough. Like it doesn't, 183 00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:49,020 doesn't have to be 25 minutes, doesn't have to be 20 minutes. It can be 184 00:11:49,020 --> 00:11:52,610 12 minutes and that's fine. And yeah, 185 00:11:52,610 --> 00:11:55,850 just again kind of practicing in real time accepting 186 00:11:56,330 --> 00:12:00,090 how I am and yeah, 187 00:12:00,490 --> 00:12:04,250 that's pretty much what I got for you today. Might, 188 00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:07,850 might've been all over the place. Hopefully it helps somebody out there. 189 00:12:08,090 --> 00:12:11,850 Um, but yeah, as always you can sign 190 00:12:11,850 --> 00:12:15,290 up for a purpose call 191 00:12:15,450 --> 00:12:19,170 session with me for free for 30 minutes. Um, there's a link 192 00:12:19,170 --> 00:12:23,010 in the show notes email and you can always follow me on Subzac 193 00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:26,770 for more working towards our purpose stuff and writings 194 00:12:27,810 --> 00:12:31,490 and I will see you on the next podcast next week. 195 00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:35,290 I hope you have a great week and enjoy the weather. Thanks for 196 00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:35,810 listening.