WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en-GB 00:00:08.350 --> 00:00:12.550 Travis Bader: I'm Travis Bader, and this is the Silvercore podcast. 00:00:13.380 --> 00:00:17.930 Silvercore has been providing its members with the skills and knowledge 00:00:17.949 --> 00:00:22.620 necessary to be confident and proficient in the outdoors for over 20 years. 00:00:22.710 --> 00:00:26.790 And we make it easier for people to deepen their connection to the natural world. 00:00:27.730 --> 00:00:30.439 If you enjoy the positive and educational content. 00:00:31.750 --> 00:00:36.710 Please let others know by sharing, commenting, and following so that 00:00:36.720 --> 00:00:39.630 you can join in on everything that Silvercore stands for. 00:00:40.700 --> 00:00:43.340 If you'd like to learn more about becoming a member of the 00:00:43.340 --> 00:00:47.929 Silvercore Club and community, visit our website at silvercore. 00:00:47.940 --> 00:00:48.370 ca. 00:00:52.085 --> 00:00:55.635 She is the first Canadian to paddle across America from Oregon to Florida, 00:00:56.004 --> 00:01:00.554 a feat that took seven months as well as a 675 kilometer track across 00:01:00.594 --> 00:01:02.554 the great divide with a broken foot. 00:01:03.334 --> 00:01:06.785 She was also the first to paddle a tandem sea kayak down the Colorado 00:01:06.785 --> 00:01:08.284 river through the grand Canyon. 00:01:08.784 --> 00:01:11.724 She's passionate about connecting others with nature and uses her 00:01:11.724 --> 00:01:12.988 skills as a photographer to inspire. 00:01:12.988 --> 00:01:17.225 Welcome to the Silvercore podcast, Jillian Brown. 00:01:17.950 --> 00:01:19.290 Jillian Brown: Thank you for having me. 00:01:19.490 --> 00:01:21.160 I'm very excited for this. 00:01:21.170 --> 00:01:24.240 Travis Bader: So am I, you know what, there's so much information that I've 00:01:24.240 --> 00:01:28.690 been looking through from past podcasts that you've done from, uh, newspaper 00:01:28.690 --> 00:01:32.309 articles and looking at some of the expeditions and adventures you've done. 00:01:33.870 --> 00:01:36.880 When you talk about inspiring people, I'm inspired. 00:01:36.880 --> 00:01:38.080 It's really, really cool. 00:01:38.390 --> 00:01:39.130 Jillian Brown: Well, thank you. 00:01:39.190 --> 00:01:39.460 Yeah. 00:01:39.460 --> 00:01:40.420 I appreciate that. 00:01:40.630 --> 00:01:40.840 And I'm 00:01:40.840 --> 00:01:43.190 Travis Bader: glad you're able to get yourself settled in nice and town. 00:01:43.200 --> 00:01:47.359 Now your, uh, VRBO may not have worked out quite as you'd wanted it to. 00:01:48.009 --> 00:01:49.279 Jillian Brown: And thanks for bringing that one up. 00:01:49.850 --> 00:01:52.390 Yeah, it was a day and a half yesterday. 00:01:52.439 --> 00:01:53.160 Travis Bader: Oh man. 00:01:53.660 --> 00:01:53.800 Yeah. 00:01:53.800 --> 00:01:57.410 We're going to get together last night and you, uh, give a message up. 00:01:57.615 --> 00:01:58.515 No, we're moving. 00:01:58.565 --> 00:02:00.185 Can't, do you want to tell the story why? 00:02:01.815 --> 00:02:06.524 Jillian Brown: So we've started using Airbnb and VRBOs and it's been 00:02:06.585 --> 00:02:08.814 a really, really neat experience. 00:02:08.814 --> 00:02:11.354 So far, nothing's been too terrible with it. 00:02:11.724 --> 00:02:15.425 Um, and we've connected with some incredible people by doing this 00:02:15.425 --> 00:02:16.885 as well, the hosts and things. 00:02:17.234 --> 00:02:22.855 And, um, Yeah, so we got a place out in the countryside so that I 00:02:22.855 --> 00:02:26.834 could still do my morning routines out in nature and do my walk and 00:02:26.845 --> 00:02:30.405 have it quiet and, um, get there. 00:02:30.945 --> 00:02:35.154 This place was a, um, marijuana grow up. 00:02:36.714 --> 00:02:40.765 It's all like the marijuana is not there other than what's growing in the 00:02:40.765 --> 00:02:44.175 fields, but it's clearly a grow up. 00:02:44.565 --> 00:02:46.185 And so we. 00:02:46.435 --> 00:02:47.674 Decided not to stay there. 00:02:48.484 --> 00:02:50.555 Travis Bader: You know, it's funny cause I put the address 00:02:50.585 --> 00:02:52.415 into Google and what do you see? 00:02:52.415 --> 00:02:53.625 A police car out front. 00:02:54.085 --> 00:02:58.534 They had over 2 million worth of crops that were seized out 00:02:58.535 --> 00:03:00.075 of that one location alone. 00:03:00.075 --> 00:03:04.735 And man, it was like 200 and almost 300, 000 worth of equipment. 00:03:04.735 --> 00:03:07.765 So they had a pretty decent scale operation working out of there. 00:03:07.795 --> 00:03:09.995 And apparently they still got stuff growing. 00:03:10.285 --> 00:03:13.484 Jillian Brown: Well, yeah, it's still the same owners that have it, which 00:03:13.484 --> 00:03:17.859 is what, That was really like kind of annoying for us was we don't want to 00:03:17.880 --> 00:03:22.999 contribute like any of our money to people who have done something illegal 00:03:22.999 --> 00:03:27.230 essentially like this and are now using that property because just because 00:03:27.239 --> 00:03:30.290 the government and yeah, shut it down. 00:03:30.979 --> 00:03:34.229 They're now making bank off of it on other people and the 00:03:34.230 --> 00:03:35.540 place was dirty and stuff too. 00:03:35.570 --> 00:03:40.940 It was cool to add like a Spanish villa in the countryside of Delta 00:03:41.040 --> 00:03:43.359 like, Ooh, this will be fun with it. 00:03:43.480 --> 00:03:45.190 Special karaoke room. 00:03:46.010 --> 00:03:46.720 This will be entertaining. 00:03:46.720 --> 00:03:47.460 Karaoke 00:03:47.460 --> 00:03:47.690 Travis Bader: room. 00:03:47.700 --> 00:03:49.140 Was it actually a karaoke room? 00:03:49.140 --> 00:03:50.920 Because you said there's a soundproof room in there. 00:03:50.920 --> 00:03:54.950 Did they put like a 12 karaoke set in the middle of a soundproof room? 00:03:55.190 --> 00:03:57.269 Jillian Brown: Um, well, yeah, the room was all soundproof. 00:03:57.269 --> 00:03:59.660 It, it was a very odd. 00:04:00.060 --> 00:04:01.450 like access to it. 00:04:01.750 --> 00:04:06.990 Very much the place looked like it was an old like burlesque or boudoir 00:04:07.070 --> 00:04:10.759 place, um, where the ladies would be standing up top in the loft and 00:04:10.759 --> 00:04:14.399 there's a old timey piano, which there actually was an old timey piano. 00:04:14.909 --> 00:04:17.349 Um, yeah, and then this karaoke room. 00:04:18.160 --> 00:04:19.130 With the soundproofing. 00:04:19.149 --> 00:04:20.970 And it was pretty set up. 00:04:21.050 --> 00:04:23.719 I mean, there was surround sound in there and a big screen. 00:04:23.719 --> 00:04:28.190 And, uh, yeah, the guy, we didn't touch anything when we went in 00:04:29.660 --> 00:04:33.239 after we just kind of walked through and saw everything like, okay, 00:04:33.280 --> 00:04:34.940 let's, let's find somewhere else. 00:04:34.960 --> 00:04:35.310 That's 00:04:35.319 --> 00:04:35.659 Travis Bader: funny. 00:04:35.960 --> 00:04:36.220 Yeah. 00:04:36.220 --> 00:04:38.870 So it's not like, it's not like they just had a soundproof room 00:04:38.870 --> 00:04:39.960 that they didn't want to deal with. 00:04:40.420 --> 00:04:42.809 Threw a little karaoke set inside there. 00:04:42.810 --> 00:04:46.490 Jillian Brown: No, I think it was meant for, I don't know what, but it seemed 00:04:46.500 --> 00:04:50.070 like a very specific room before that. 00:04:50.150 --> 00:04:51.100 Travis Bader: I don't get people. 00:04:51.100 --> 00:04:53.800 Why would you VRBO out your location like that? 00:04:53.810 --> 00:04:54.930 That doesn't make sense. 00:04:55.070 --> 00:04:55.570 Jillian Brown: I don't know. 00:04:55.570 --> 00:05:00.369 And you have to legally live in the residence that your Airbnb or VBO. 00:05:00.519 --> 00:05:06.530 VRBO now in BC, at least, if not all across Canada, but in BC and there's 00:05:06.530 --> 00:05:08.359 clearly nobody that's living there. 00:05:08.629 --> 00:05:09.849 They're just renting it out. 00:05:09.919 --> 00:05:13.149 And so there was a whole lot of things wrong with it, but now we're in a 00:05:13.149 --> 00:05:15.369 really nice place out in Steveston. 00:05:15.439 --> 00:05:15.749 Yeah. 00:05:15.829 --> 00:05:16.649 Um, yeah. 00:05:16.849 --> 00:05:17.489 And it's beautiful. 00:05:17.499 --> 00:05:21.319 I got for a great walk this morning and lots of birds and there's a park there. 00:05:21.890 --> 00:05:23.530 Travis Bader: So life's an adventure for you, hey? 00:05:24.609 --> 00:05:25.370 Jillian Brown: That's for sure. 00:05:25.409 --> 00:05:25.710 Is it 00:05:25.710 --> 00:05:26.520 Travis Bader: always like that for you? 00:05:26.520 --> 00:05:26.609 Yeah. 00:05:27.380 --> 00:05:28.000 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 00:05:28.020 --> 00:05:30.430 Somehow it kind of always ends up that way. 00:05:31.550 --> 00:05:37.449 Right when life starts to feel like anybody else's kind of normal life. 00:05:37.449 --> 00:05:40.579 I know everyone has trials and tribulations going on behind the 00:05:40.579 --> 00:05:46.099 scenes, but for the most part, people live a certain type of lifestyle. 00:05:46.130 --> 00:05:50.994 And whenever that's kind of started for me, something kind of happened. 00:05:52.545 --> 00:05:58.085 happens, like, for example, on track with Ryan to kind of start 00:05:58.085 --> 00:06:02.725 a new life, my ex fiance, and then he gets in his accident and the 00:06:02.725 --> 00:06:05.125 world is completely upended for us. 00:06:05.275 --> 00:06:05.484 Tell me 00:06:05.484 --> 00:06:06.005 Travis Bader: about this. 00:06:06.284 --> 00:06:09.104 Jillian Brown: Um, so it's coming up on two years actually this 00:06:09.105 --> 00:06:14.865 week from his accident and he was moving my place in Squamish. 00:06:14.985 --> 00:06:16.955 Um, and. 00:06:17.330 --> 00:06:18.900 He was bringing his motorcycle up. 00:06:18.930 --> 00:06:21.080 It was the first trip up of things. 00:06:21.169 --> 00:06:28.179 We were gonna celebrate like new life out here together and I was just ahead of him 00:06:28.209 --> 00:06:33.060 in the Jeep and he was on his motorcycle and he crashed on the Sea to Sky Highway 00:06:33.060 --> 00:06:39.400 and I figured he had stopped for gas maybe stopped for a bite to eat or something. 00:06:39.400 --> 00:06:43.750 That's why he was a couple hours Late, I didn't really think anything of it until 00:06:43.750 --> 00:06:51.240 my phone rang Um Yeah, and it was, I've described it before in a piece of writing, 00:06:51.469 --> 00:06:55.710 it was like straight out of a movie. 00:06:56.530 --> 00:07:03.380 The phone call of saying your partner's been in a car accident or in an accident. 00:07:03.880 --> 00:07:06.890 Hold tight, but maybe pack an overnight bag. 00:07:06.920 --> 00:07:12.730 And you know that that like uncertainty of the person who's calling is not good. 00:07:12.740 --> 00:07:15.950 So you're like, well, do I, if I hold tight, am I waiting for a knock at 00:07:15.950 --> 00:07:17.829 the door for somebody to tell me? 00:07:19.080 --> 00:07:23.180 I've lost him, um, or should I just start going now, just 00:07:23.190 --> 00:07:24.580 to be there no matter what? 00:07:25.160 --> 00:07:29.965 Um, yeah, it was, it, it felt like, A movie. 00:07:30.065 --> 00:07:34.935 And so I packed up and headed down and he was in a coma for 15 days. 00:07:35.405 --> 00:07:38.485 Um, and uh, yeah. 00:07:38.485 --> 00:07:42.835 And then he was in the hospital for a number of months for treatment. 00:07:42.894 --> 00:07:47.214 Um, and now since then I've become his full time caregiver. 00:07:47.655 --> 00:07:49.124 Um, which is great. 00:07:50.005 --> 00:07:54.915 has completely changed our life, but in so many good ways as well. 00:07:54.915 --> 00:07:58.655 It's, there was a lot of hard time relearning and we're still relearning, 00:07:59.154 --> 00:08:02.964 um, everything, especially of course for him relearning now with all of 00:08:02.965 --> 00:08:09.355 his injuries, um, being partially paralyzed, um, one arm and he's fully 00:08:09.355 --> 00:08:13.855 paralyzed, the other partially in head, head injuries, things like that. 00:08:14.115 --> 00:08:18.325 Um, so navigating that side of life. 00:08:18.520 --> 00:08:25.070 Um, but also being his caregiver, I get to spend every day with him all the time. 00:08:25.070 --> 00:08:26.050 That's fantastic. 00:08:26.560 --> 00:08:27.900 Yeah, so that's amazing. 00:08:27.900 --> 00:08:34.310 But I'm just starting to try to, um, get back into some of my other, other, 00:08:34.400 --> 00:08:39.339 um, passions, like my photography and things, which got put on hold, of course. 00:08:39.369 --> 00:08:39.759 Travis Bader: Yes. 00:08:39.770 --> 00:08:39.959 For 00:08:39.959 --> 00:08:40.959 Jillian Brown: the past couple of years. 00:08:40.959 --> 00:08:44.920 And now we're in a good, good spot, um, both mentally and I think, 00:08:45.200 --> 00:08:50.270 Physically, um, to potentially be going back out and taking on 00:08:50.460 --> 00:08:53.220 photography work again and adventures. 00:08:54.079 --> 00:08:54.250 Travis Bader: Yeah. 00:08:54.250 --> 00:08:57.980 That, that mental, that mental aspect of all that, when your life 00:08:58.040 --> 00:09:04.159 gets thrown absolutely upside down, that resilience and ability to be 00:09:04.159 --> 00:09:06.560 adaptable really comes into play. 00:09:06.569 --> 00:09:11.175 And I got to imagine that from a lifestyle of Exploration and 00:09:11.175 --> 00:09:16.145 expeditions, there's a high level of adaptability that, that you've learned. 00:09:16.675 --> 00:09:17.955 Were you able to apply that? 00:09:18.005 --> 00:09:21.425 Did you use that and apply that to how you're dealing with this? 00:09:21.594 --> 00:09:22.135 Jillian Brown: Oh yeah. 00:09:22.254 --> 00:09:29.695 In terms of the adapting and resiliency, um, when that happened, um, I have 00:09:29.714 --> 00:09:31.705 already in the past few years. 00:09:32.140 --> 00:09:37.420 Uh, of going through other life challenges, um, found the tools that 00:09:37.420 --> 00:09:42.170 have worked for me to navigate, um, mental health and, and PTSD and, 00:09:42.179 --> 00:09:43.919 and just life stresses in general. 00:09:44.370 --> 00:09:48.020 So that's part of that morning routine of being out in nature. 00:09:48.129 --> 00:09:53.150 I do my best to every day wash my face in a river or a lake or some sort 00:09:53.250 --> 00:09:55.480 of water source in nature as well. 00:09:55.830 --> 00:09:56.780 Um, and then. 00:09:57.030 --> 00:10:01.460 I always do a bunch of exercise, um, throughout the day, both in the 00:10:01.460 --> 00:10:06.369 morning and generally later, um, just to move all the energy that I 00:10:06.389 --> 00:10:08.839 find I struggle with that builds up. 00:10:09.380 --> 00:10:14.110 Um, not just like energy of like, I gotta run around, but 00:10:14.489 --> 00:10:16.719 like the mental energy, um. 00:10:16.759 --> 00:10:17.479 Travis Bader: Interesting. 00:10:17.714 --> 00:10:23.415 Jillian Brown: And, um, so at that time I, I definitely, even though I was having 00:10:23.415 --> 00:10:28.625 to drive from Squamish down to Vancouver Hospital every day, but for about a 00:10:28.625 --> 00:10:34.454 week I was also having to move Ryan from Caltus Lake, which is two hours, two 00:10:34.454 --> 00:10:36.214 and a half hours away from Squamish. 00:10:36.634 --> 00:10:40.905 I was dealing with going, driving from Squamish, stopping at the hospital, 00:10:40.935 --> 00:10:44.665 then from there driving down to Caltus Lake, loading up the vehicle. 00:10:44.780 --> 00:10:49.210 driving back to Squamish and then doing that twice a day to try to get him moved 00:10:49.210 --> 00:10:55.069 out because he had booked all of his moving vehicles like a trailer and all 00:10:55.069 --> 00:10:57.349 those things and I didn't have his phone. 00:10:57.349 --> 00:10:59.000 The police had it from the accident. 00:10:59.300 --> 00:11:02.280 So I couldn't call and get those things to help me move. 00:11:02.280 --> 00:11:03.660 I just had my vehicle. 00:11:04.130 --> 00:11:06.829 Um, and then a couple of Ryan's friends came and helped 00:11:06.900 --> 00:11:08.390 as well, which was amazing. 00:11:08.810 --> 00:11:10.689 Um, and were there for me too. 00:11:11.130 --> 00:11:13.890 Um, there were other things that. 00:11:14.119 --> 00:11:14.839 that went on. 00:11:14.839 --> 00:11:16.099 I found I was doing well. 00:11:16.099 --> 00:11:20.230 I had my routine down, um, with both going and seeing him, 00:11:20.780 --> 00:11:23.399 but also, um, just everything. 00:11:23.819 --> 00:11:25.949 But then there was a couple other things that went on at 00:11:25.949 --> 00:11:28.050 the same time, and that just. 00:11:28.625 --> 00:11:33.814 Built up and I found that my tools weren't enough to deal with all of it 00:11:34.975 --> 00:11:38.715 Well, while Ryan was in the hospital, I found out the same day as his accident 00:11:38.715 --> 00:11:46.094 that my best friend took his own life and And then I got rear ended and it was 00:11:46.104 --> 00:11:50.300 all within Ryan's Being in a coma period. 00:11:50.300 --> 00:11:55.560 So within this two week span, um, I had lost like my two people 00:11:55.600 --> 00:12:00.970 essentially because I couldn't talk to Ryan about Kieran is my friend. 00:12:01.130 --> 00:12:03.989 I couldn't talk to Ryan about him and then Kieran I couldn't talk to 00:12:03.989 --> 00:12:08.939 you about Ryan and I had other people and my family's always been there. 00:12:09.640 --> 00:12:14.570 But um, yeah I was getting to be too much to the point then I got rear ended 00:12:14.650 --> 00:12:18.650 like this is too much and then the The dryer broke and it was like smaller and 00:12:18.650 --> 00:12:22.590 smaller things that were totally not big deals like the rear ending it was 00:12:22.600 --> 00:12:27.450 very little damage like the bumper got knocked off not a big deal and there 00:12:27.450 --> 00:12:31.610 was way bigger things going on and then the dryer breaking who cares just call 00:12:31.610 --> 00:12:38.980 somebody to repair it but I that was when I had a total meltdown and um When I 00:12:38.980 --> 00:12:43.620 got to the hospital that day, I accepted help in talking to the social workers 00:12:43.640 --> 00:12:45.830 and community, actually letting it out. 00:12:45.870 --> 00:12:50.389 I've never been one to, um, I don't generally talk about 00:12:50.400 --> 00:12:52.139 my emotions in that way. 00:12:52.469 --> 00:12:55.540 Um, when I'm in a negative headspace. 00:12:55.540 --> 00:12:56.980 Why? 00:12:56.980 --> 00:13:06.080 So, um, I'm sure we'll touch on it, but I went to, um, I was, I went to a therapist 00:13:06.080 --> 00:13:10.420 when I was a teenager one, a little bit, um, because I dealt with depression as 00:13:10.420 --> 00:13:14.700 an athlete, I got injured, injuries, and I couldn't do things that I loved, 00:13:15.080 --> 00:13:19.710 so I struggled with some depression, so I went and saw one, and they said the 00:13:19.710 --> 00:13:24.390 same sort of thing that most do, where it's, well, do the things you love. 00:13:24.620 --> 00:13:25.820 Because that'll make you happy. 00:13:25.830 --> 00:13:27.630 And I'm like, I can't do the things I love. 00:13:27.920 --> 00:13:29.710 Like, this is why I'm here. 00:13:29.750 --> 00:13:31.240 Tell me what I'm supposed to do. 00:13:31.280 --> 00:13:32.500 Oh, just do those things. 00:13:32.500 --> 00:13:33.540 I'm like, you don't get it. 00:13:33.540 --> 00:13:34.799 And I was like, ripped up. 00:13:34.799 --> 00:13:35.820 I mean, I'm a teenager, too. 00:13:36.600 --> 00:13:39.249 I'm like, ripping up the paperwork that she's giving me. 00:13:39.249 --> 00:13:40.689 And I'm like, I'm not gonna read this shit. 00:13:40.870 --> 00:13:43.359 Like, I hate reading, too. 00:13:43.360 --> 00:13:46.549 Oh, that was like, legit. 00:13:46.569 --> 00:13:47.439 I was so angry. 00:13:47.459 --> 00:13:49.379 And then, so I stopped going. 00:13:49.580 --> 00:13:52.080 And then I just started doing the things I loved, and that was okay. 00:13:52.080 --> 00:13:54.930 Isn't that interesting how that works, huh? 00:13:55.170 --> 00:13:58.010 And it totally, but I had to be the one. 00:13:58.010 --> 00:13:59.629 And it's always like that. 00:13:59.640 --> 00:14:02.960 You have to be the one to take control of the situation. 00:14:03.460 --> 00:14:06.780 Um, you're the only one that can save yourself when it comes to 00:14:07.390 --> 00:14:10.190 your mental mentality and emotions. 00:14:10.240 --> 00:14:11.460 100 percent. 00:14:11.460 --> 00:14:13.770 Um, and as a teen, that was hard to figure out. 00:14:14.160 --> 00:14:20.584 Um, And I reconnected with that later on in life when I found myself homeless, 00:14:21.265 --> 00:14:24.354 and I thought of the same sort of thing. 00:14:24.425 --> 00:14:27.915 I ended up going to, um, a therapist, because I thought 00:14:27.915 --> 00:14:29.854 about suicide in that situation. 00:14:30.004 --> 00:14:35.185 Went to a therapist, and, um, I felt the same way as I did when I was a teenager. 00:14:35.185 --> 00:14:40.305 I felt, I walked out of there feeling very judged, almost. 00:14:40.345 --> 00:14:41.315 And they weren't. 00:14:41.335 --> 00:14:44.345 There's nothing they were doing that was wrong, it's their job. 00:14:44.665 --> 00:14:49.724 But the mental state that I was in was not an accepting state of somebody 00:14:49.724 --> 00:14:54.295 telling me What to do, and just do this thing, like it's just that easy. 00:14:55.185 --> 00:14:57.775 Like, that's not, you don't understand. 00:14:57.965 --> 00:15:02.855 Well, it, yeah, but there's also the side of walking into a therapist's 00:15:02.855 --> 00:15:06.534 office and they have their great, beautiful family photo on their desk. 00:15:06.815 --> 00:15:09.585 And they're wincing when you're telling them of what you've 00:15:09.605 --> 00:15:10.935 been through in some way. 00:15:11.105 --> 00:15:12.435 And you're seeing those reactions. 00:15:12.435 --> 00:15:14.615 Well, that's why I don't share, because I don't want to see other 00:15:14.615 --> 00:15:16.485 people uncomfortable or in pain. 00:15:17.110 --> 00:15:20.700 Because often I've already dealt with that pain and overcome it. 00:15:21.440 --> 00:15:26.679 So I'm okay to necessarily talk about these things and go into details, but 00:15:26.679 --> 00:15:30.119 to see somebody else now essentially going through what I've already 00:15:30.120 --> 00:15:32.179 overcome, that's what I don't like. 00:15:32.960 --> 00:15:35.109 Travis Bader: Isn't it, you know, I've got a poorly thought 00:15:35.109 --> 00:15:38.249 out, ill thought out premise. 00:15:38.250 --> 00:15:42.680 I got something that I'm working on in my head and slowly turning around, but. 00:15:43.185 --> 00:15:48.755 Uh, the amount of, um, mental health issues that are social related in 00:15:48.755 --> 00:15:53.055 nature and how you mentioned that, uh, concern over how the therapist may 00:15:53.055 --> 00:15:55.654 be, uh, processing or looking at that. 00:15:55.654 --> 00:16:00.694 And it's how other people around us, our expectations, and I guess our 00:16:00.694 --> 00:16:04.795 thoughts on judgment by society, uh, and. 00:16:05.465 --> 00:16:07.645 How that impacts our own mental health. 00:16:07.675 --> 00:16:11.955 And I see that so prevalent, like with social media and everyone's, you know, 00:16:11.955 --> 00:16:16.025 they see comparison is a thief of joy and they're comparing themselves to all 00:16:16.025 --> 00:16:19.354 these happy people out there on social media, doing all these cool things. 00:16:19.385 --> 00:16:22.695 And you're like, Oh, but, but look at me, I'm broken and I'm not feeling great. 00:16:24.465 --> 00:16:30.265 You talking about PTSD and we've have warrior classes like Samurais and Spartans 00:16:30.305 --> 00:16:35.640 and even modern warriors that will give you a Come back and are praised by society 00:16:35.660 --> 00:16:37.130 for the great things that they're doing. 00:16:37.130 --> 00:16:41.959 And despite the fact that they've seen horrific things and done really 00:16:41.969 --> 00:16:47.479 arduous things that others probably wouldn't want to do, um, there's 00:16:47.479 --> 00:16:50.140 a societal acceptance behind it. 00:16:50.240 --> 00:16:53.590 Uh, different from, let's say, uh, the Vietnam vet coming back from 00:16:53.590 --> 00:16:56.880 war and everyone's calling them baby killers and society's against them. 00:16:56.880 --> 00:17:01.699 And the, uh, prevalence of mental health and PTSD. 00:17:01.930 --> 00:17:06.860 In situations where society just isn't on side, or maybe the person doesn't 00:17:06.870 --> 00:17:08.730 feel that society is on side with them. 00:17:09.610 --> 00:17:17.720 I got to wonder how big of a role that plays in every individual's mental health. 00:17:17.740 --> 00:17:20.389 And if we're able to kind of separate that, I don't know. 00:17:20.389 --> 00:17:20.950 There's a book. 00:17:20.950 --> 00:17:21.599 I haven't read it. 00:17:21.609 --> 00:17:24.629 Cause I'm like you, I'm like you as a teenager. 00:17:25.230 --> 00:17:25.550 But I 00:17:25.560 --> 00:17:26.879 Jillian Brown: still am not a big reader. 00:17:27.569 --> 00:17:29.280 Travis Bader: Man, I'll go through the end chapter. 00:17:29.280 --> 00:17:32.300 And can I get, do I think I got the main points, but I think it's called 00:17:32.300 --> 00:17:33.760 the subtle art of not giving a fuck. 00:17:34.710 --> 00:17:39.550 So I haven't read it, but I, the title of it tells me a fair bit. 00:17:39.589 --> 00:17:45.230 And I think if people can reach that point of, I just don't care what society thinks. 00:17:45.230 --> 00:17:49.155 And I'm able to, um, Do what I feel is right for me. 00:17:49.155 --> 00:17:53.915 Like you said, you had to find doctors only to say, no, you're not fixing me. 00:17:53.915 --> 00:17:54.605 I'm fixing me. 00:17:54.605 --> 00:17:54.865 Right. 00:17:56.175 --> 00:17:59.105 But that shift, like you said, it has to come from you. 00:17:59.105 --> 00:18:04.495 And I think that's where a lot of people stumble is because they're still stuck 00:18:04.504 --> 00:18:09.425 in this perception of how everybody else, they think they're judging them 00:18:09.425 --> 00:18:11.415 or how their lives, they think they are. 00:18:12.165 --> 00:18:16.565 Um, Like I say, not, not the most well thought out, but it's, it's getting there. 00:18:16.565 --> 00:18:19.945 I'll, at one point I'll put pen to paper and I'll actually, uh, put 00:18:19.945 --> 00:18:21.195 this together a little further. 00:18:21.355 --> 00:18:23.764 Jillian Brown: Well, I completely agree with you though, what you're 00:18:23.764 --> 00:18:28.734 saying with like dealing with feeling like others are judging. 00:18:28.734 --> 00:18:34.534 And especially the fact that we're in this world where our lives, hopefully everyone 00:18:34.534 --> 00:18:41.360 can see my quotations, but our lives are Displayed for everyone to see everywhere, 00:18:41.590 --> 00:18:42.160 Travis Bader: like on 00:18:42.170 --> 00:18:45.220 Jillian Brown: Facebook, on Instagram, social media, wherever you look. 00:18:45.690 --> 00:18:51.810 But I use quotation marks because that's the life that you want 00:18:51.820 --> 00:18:53.430 people to perceive you live. 00:18:53.619 --> 00:18:54.650 Mm hmm. 00:18:55.195 --> 00:19:00.425 Nobody wants people to perceive your your life as miserable and terrible, but if 00:19:00.425 --> 00:19:04.764 you are that person that's showcasing that is that now a cry for help or a 00:19:04.764 --> 00:19:09.334 cry for attention and then there's the judgment of look at I just said that 00:19:09.374 --> 00:19:14.064 I just made a Rash judgment that those people are in one of two categories, 00:19:14.064 --> 00:19:15.935 essentially, who are doing that. 00:19:16.264 --> 00:19:18.205 So that's a judgment in itself. 00:19:18.205 --> 00:19:20.574 Just that like, oh, they're either, it's a cry for help. 00:19:20.585 --> 00:19:24.485 That's a judgment, like, but, or they're looking for attention. 00:19:24.485 --> 00:19:29.604 Travis Bader: Or, or a third, they've, they've mentally become whatever it is. 00:19:29.604 --> 00:19:30.304 They think they are. 00:19:30.304 --> 00:19:31.564 I am my PTSD. 00:19:31.584 --> 00:19:33.074 I am my depression, right? 00:19:33.405 --> 00:19:36.405 It's not like a person that says, oh, I cut my arm or I broke my arm. 00:19:36.435 --> 00:19:37.564 I am my broken arm. 00:19:37.634 --> 00:19:38.024 No. 00:19:38.290 --> 00:19:40.699 Everyone looks at them and they say, no, you broke your arm. 00:19:40.939 --> 00:19:41.149 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 00:19:41.189 --> 00:19:43.060 Travis Bader: You're dealing with a broken arm. 00:19:43.830 --> 00:19:46.449 And at some point you'll get better depending on the break, you might always 00:19:46.449 --> 00:19:52.349 have a little bit of a reminiscent reminder there, but you'll get better. 00:19:53.200 --> 00:19:57.040 Sometimes people that get on that want to dwell in the negative on the social media, 00:19:57.040 --> 00:20:00.679 it's because they haven't figured out that they aren't, they aren't whatever it 00:20:00.679 --> 00:20:02.120 is that they're ascribing to themselves. 00:20:02.149 --> 00:20:05.300 Or maybe they are, as long as they're ascribing that to themselves. 00:20:06.125 --> 00:20:09.075 But if they can realize that they can change that, I think 00:20:09.075 --> 00:20:10.105 that's where the power comes in. 00:20:10.205 --> 00:20:10.625 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 00:20:10.805 --> 00:20:11.145 Yeah. 00:20:11.165 --> 00:20:15.494 So a big part of why I go on expeditions and spend so much time 00:20:15.494 --> 00:20:19.055 out in nature is because that nature, nature is completely unjudging. 00:20:19.425 --> 00:20:24.394 And for me, as much as I worry about others judging me and what I'm putting 00:20:24.395 --> 00:20:29.915 out there for, for different reasons, um, things that I, I'm confident in 00:20:29.915 --> 00:20:31.345 like my photography and my writing. 00:20:31.345 --> 00:20:34.935 I honestly don't care if anyone likes it because I like it and I'm proud of it. 00:20:35.294 --> 00:20:37.454 So I'm okay with sharing it. 00:20:37.455 --> 00:20:40.445 Same with like I, I generally do a flex in the morning. 00:20:40.685 --> 00:20:43.215 Well, I've worked really hard and I still work really hard. 00:20:43.244 --> 00:20:48.984 And for me, um, flexing or like even looking at myself is I judge myself 00:20:48.984 --> 00:20:53.815 so harshly that Doing that makes me proud of myself that I am overcoming 00:20:53.815 --> 00:20:59.255 an obstacle of just flexing and putting it out there, like, to show 00:20:59.255 --> 00:21:01.425 myself that I'm proud of myself. 00:21:01.755 --> 00:21:04.054 It's not to get comments or anything. 00:21:04.054 --> 00:21:07.954 It's simply, this is my social media anyways, so why can't I just put 00:21:07.955 --> 00:21:09.494 whatever I want on my social media? 00:21:09.495 --> 00:21:13.695 For me, I'm the only one that, like, I only care that I enjoy my social media. 00:21:14.015 --> 00:21:14.155 Yeah. 00:21:14.205 --> 00:21:14.795 That's it. 00:21:15.175 --> 00:21:19.864 Um, but I do these expeditions because it's completely unjudging. 00:21:20.530 --> 00:21:23.810 Like, a lot of the time I don't have cell service, if I go up north, 00:21:23.909 --> 00:21:25.870 um, there's, there's no service. 00:21:25.879 --> 00:21:26.370 Mm hmm. 00:21:26.699 --> 00:21:32.759 So it's just you, and you, you can't judge yourself harshly because you 00:21:32.760 --> 00:21:37.480 have to trust that you have the abilities, especially if you're solo. 00:21:38.100 --> 00:21:41.485 So if you're judging yourself all the time, then that's gonna, Make 00:21:41.485 --> 00:21:45.145 you second guess everything, which is then going to put you at risk. 00:21:45.514 --> 00:21:49.274 You have to go in wholeheartedly, faithful that you have the abilities to 00:21:49.274 --> 00:21:53.314 overcome whatever you're planning to go out and do in life in general, really. 00:21:53.314 --> 00:21:58.314 But especially when you're going out in nature like this, doing something 00:21:58.314 --> 00:22:02.064 extreme and risky, um, where you can't just pick up your phone and call mom 00:22:02.064 --> 00:22:03.905 to come pick you up in five minutes. 00:22:04.584 --> 00:22:05.384 Um, well, 00:22:05.565 --> 00:22:08.815 Travis Bader: you mentioned mental energy earlier and he's. 00:22:09.105 --> 00:22:12.275 You know, we differentiated that from being active and what's going 00:22:12.275 --> 00:22:17.264 on in the head, just churning around when the cell phone's off, when 00:22:17.264 --> 00:22:22.044 you're out in nature, things quiet, what happens to that mental energy? 00:22:22.424 --> 00:22:28.580 Jillian Brown: Oh, see, if I'm out paddling for the whole day, I, I 00:22:28.639 --> 00:22:32.179 don't have any feeling of having to go do exercises or anything, 00:22:32.179 --> 00:22:34.719 and it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm paddling all day. 00:22:34.949 --> 00:22:39.369 It's, yeah, that, that energy is already essentially, like, flowing through. 00:22:39.439 --> 00:22:40.639 There's not anything. 00:22:41.210 --> 00:22:45.899 The, the fresh air, it, it alleviates stress and energy. 00:22:45.899 --> 00:22:47.320 I mean, it's a proven fact. 00:22:47.399 --> 00:22:50.700 That's why they're, they just started to give doctors permission 00:22:50.700 --> 00:22:53.470 to prescribe national park passes. 00:22:53.480 --> 00:22:53.929 Travis Bader: Right. 00:22:54.260 --> 00:22:55.610 Jillian Brown: For mental health, 00:22:55.790 --> 00:22:56.800 Travis Bader: that's in the States, right? 00:22:57.219 --> 00:22:58.059 Jillian Brown: In Canada, too. 00:22:58.070 --> 00:22:58.179 Is 00:22:58.179 --> 00:22:58.580 Travis Bader: it in Canada? 00:22:58.580 --> 00:22:59.009 Yeah. 00:22:59.189 --> 00:22:59.449 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 00:22:59.449 --> 00:23:01.629 Good luck finding a doctor who has done it yet. 00:23:02.309 --> 00:23:06.100 I'm going to fight with it, but yeah, they're, they can do that. 00:23:06.100 --> 00:23:07.619 And this is what I've always said. 00:23:07.619 --> 00:23:11.579 And I'm sure many others who have gone through the process of battling their 00:23:11.579 --> 00:23:15.850 own demons and overcoming, they probably feel the same way that why are doctors 00:23:15.860 --> 00:23:18.610 not prescribing natural things like. 00:23:18.779 --> 00:23:22.490 Go outside for a walk or get a gym pass. 00:23:22.490 --> 00:23:24.190 Like, why are they not prescribing those things? 00:23:24.190 --> 00:23:28.139 And then after, say, six months, if the person is still struggling, maybe there 00:23:28.139 --> 00:23:33.340 is some sort of medication that they do need because mental health injuries, 00:23:33.370 --> 00:23:38.420 PTSD injuries, things like that, they do cause chemical imbalances in people 00:23:38.420 --> 00:23:40.540 depending on how they absorb the trauma. 00:23:41.150 --> 00:23:43.050 They can, they can need medication. 00:23:43.050 --> 00:23:46.950 I'm in no way saying don't take medication, but there's other 00:23:46.950 --> 00:23:49.270 things to go through first. 00:23:49.460 --> 00:23:50.860 What is your diet like? 00:23:51.050 --> 00:23:53.380 What are, what's your environment like at your house? 00:23:53.380 --> 00:23:55.440 Is it a hoarder's house? 00:23:55.470 --> 00:23:58.850 Like, that's gonna make your mental state horrific. 00:23:58.870 --> 00:23:58.890 Yeah. 00:23:59.470 --> 00:24:01.650 Like, there's so many things like that. 00:24:01.855 --> 00:24:03.515 Um, yeah. 00:24:03.675 --> 00:24:04.685 Travis Bader: But that's hard. 00:24:04.845 --> 00:24:05.745 That's not easy. 00:24:06.035 --> 00:24:07.535 Prescribing a pill is easy. 00:24:07.545 --> 00:24:07.835 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 00:24:07.915 --> 00:24:08.825 Well, it makes money. 00:24:09.055 --> 00:24:10.565 The other things do not make money. 00:24:10.575 --> 00:24:11.875 It makes money. 00:24:11.975 --> 00:24:14.315 Travis Bader: Uh, it means that you're going to be coming back. 00:24:14.635 --> 00:24:18.075 Um, and there's also that liability standpoint. 00:24:18.115 --> 00:24:22.585 Like what if a doctor is like, oh, go, go to a park and the person does 00:24:22.585 --> 00:24:25.935 something to themselves or has, has a really bad incident and they're like, 00:24:25.935 --> 00:24:27.365 well, you should have prescribed them. 00:24:27.365 --> 00:24:27.545 Right. 00:24:27.565 --> 00:24:28.885 That should have been one of the options. 00:24:28.925 --> 00:24:31.865 I think so often people look for those easy options. 00:24:32.310 --> 00:24:36.220 But I've yet to see anything worthwhile in my life that's come easy. 00:24:36.530 --> 00:24:40.730 And I don't disagree with you or medication is an important tool 00:24:40.730 --> 00:24:44.729 that can be used, but I think it should be used, uh, holistically. 00:24:45.010 --> 00:24:47.679 I just don't think we have the resources in Canada to do that. 00:24:48.050 --> 00:24:53.879 Properly allocated to monitor an individual, uh, and provide them with 00:24:54.070 --> 00:24:57.510 the proper care that they need to ensure that they're getting proper 00:24:57.510 --> 00:25:04.089 diet, exercise, um, social support, sleep, um, goal setting structures. 00:25:04.740 --> 00:25:10.340 And medication all in the same, uh, realm, but they can moderate, I had 50 milligrams 00:25:10.340 --> 00:25:11.890 this morning, and how are you feeling? 00:25:12.320 --> 00:25:13.599 And move from there. 00:25:13.620 --> 00:25:13.640 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 00:25:13.890 --> 00:25:17.959 But that's also the thing of choice, and the only way, if 00:25:17.960 --> 00:25:19.730 you chose to go to a doctor for. 00:25:20.110 --> 00:25:23.460 a bellyache while you chose to go and get answers. 00:25:23.980 --> 00:25:27.620 Like, are you going to a therapist as a choice that you want to get better, 00:25:27.620 --> 00:25:30.049 or are you going as an expectation they're going to make you better? 00:25:30.470 --> 00:25:33.559 Because even if they tell you or prescribe you medication, it's still 00:25:33.559 --> 00:25:35.150 your choice to take that medication. 00:25:35.460 --> 00:25:36.610 That doctor's not there. 00:25:36.820 --> 00:25:38.620 Throwing it down, putting it down your throat each day. 00:25:38.940 --> 00:25:42.310 You're choosing, okay, that doctor told me that that medication is 00:25:42.310 --> 00:25:43.750 going to help me in some way. 00:25:44.020 --> 00:25:48.029 Well, if the doctor told you going for a 10 minute walk that day is 00:25:48.030 --> 00:25:51.240 going to help you, if you choose not to do it, what's to say you're still 00:25:51.259 --> 00:25:52.489 going to choose to take the pill? 00:25:53.550 --> 00:25:55.079 That's mentally your choice. 00:25:55.090 --> 00:25:58.780 Struggle that you have to overcome at that point is, okay, the pill's 00:25:58.780 --> 00:26:00.129 easy, so I can just take it. 00:26:00.139 --> 00:26:03.760 Well, easy, isn't going to make you better when you're overcoming demons. 00:26:03.850 --> 00:26:04.320 Travis Bader: Never, 00:26:04.449 --> 00:26:05.149 Jillian Brown: never, never. 00:26:05.409 --> 00:26:06.419 And that's the easy out. 00:26:06.439 --> 00:26:09.080 And that's why people are still getting all the medications 00:26:09.080 --> 00:26:10.189 and still taking their lives. 00:26:12.730 --> 00:26:14.080 Travis Bader: Brought up an interesting point. 00:26:14.279 --> 00:26:16.310 You said it's you that'll fix you. 00:26:16.960 --> 00:26:17.650 And. 00:26:18.010 --> 00:26:23.060 You know, I, I did a podcast as the date that we're recording this, it hasn't come 00:26:23.060 --> 00:26:26.689 out yet, but by the time this comes out, it should be out, uh, with an individual. 00:26:26.689 --> 00:26:30.359 And he says, you know, I've got an issue with this whole, uh, 00:26:30.490 --> 00:26:33.779 PTSD and, uh, medical industry. 00:26:34.010 --> 00:26:36.930 He says, yeah, there's PTSD, but there's also a multi billion dollar 00:26:36.940 --> 00:26:43.250 industry that's been created around this to perpetuate, uh, Whether 00:26:43.250 --> 00:26:48.250 it's medications or talk docs or whatever it is that can be sold and 00:26:48.250 --> 00:26:50.190 see a person on a reoccurring basis. 00:26:50.190 --> 00:26:50.440 Right. 00:26:51.210 --> 00:26:56.610 Um, there is the idea as well, that some of these things don't 00:26:56.620 --> 00:26:59.839 require a long time to fix. 00:27:01.079 --> 00:27:04.229 They may in some people require a long time to finally get there, 00:27:04.230 --> 00:27:05.639 but when that click is made. 00:27:05.815 --> 00:27:09.215 When that switch is turned, when you realize that you have the power to be able 00:27:09.215 --> 00:27:14.725 to go out and walk or enjoy nature, make these small steps and look at it as the 00:27:14.725 --> 00:27:16.905 macro, not I'm feeling really bad today. 00:27:16.905 --> 00:27:17.764 It's not working well. 00:27:17.765 --> 00:27:20.275 What's the trend yesterday is feeling good. 00:27:20.275 --> 00:27:21.595 And today I'm feeling bad tomorrow. 00:27:21.595 --> 00:27:22.394 I'm feeling good. 00:27:22.394 --> 00:27:23.144 And that bad. 00:27:24.090 --> 00:27:25.800 Each day, it's going up a little bit. 00:27:25.800 --> 00:27:29.130 If you look at it more in the macro, it's a trend and you keep applying these 00:27:29.140 --> 00:27:35.309 practices and principles, um, generally the outcome is going to be beneficial. 00:27:35.399 --> 00:27:40.820 And when you say that you, you fix yourself, if you go, so friend of mine. 00:27:41.399 --> 00:27:43.780 Mike, he was diagnosed with diabetes. 00:27:43.860 --> 00:27:46.960 Doc says, you're going to have to take medication. 00:27:46.970 --> 00:27:48.230 And we're going to have to monitor this. 00:27:48.230 --> 00:27:49.410 He's like, I don't want to take meds. 00:27:50.249 --> 00:27:52.309 This is, well, you know, you should, you got it. 00:27:52.380 --> 00:27:53.209 It's all part of it. 00:27:53.219 --> 00:27:54.580 And you're going to be on it for the rest of your life. 00:27:54.610 --> 00:27:57.440 Um, diet and exercise can help. 00:27:57.725 --> 00:27:59.644 He's like, what if I just do diet and exercise? 00:27:59.644 --> 00:28:02.684 We come back and we do another examination the next number of months. 00:28:03.435 --> 00:28:04.644 So, okay, I can't force you. 00:28:04.794 --> 00:28:05.094 Right. 00:28:05.094 --> 00:28:06.834 But this is what I tell you, you got to do. 00:28:06.884 --> 00:28:08.705 So he goes, he does his diet and exercise. 00:28:08.705 --> 00:28:09.935 He's really diligent about it. 00:28:09.944 --> 00:28:11.154 He goes back, he has checked out. 00:28:11.164 --> 00:28:13.465 Doctor says, you don't have diabetes anymore. 00:28:14.024 --> 00:28:14.164 Jillian Brown: Wow. 00:28:14.254 --> 00:28:14.594 Travis Bader: Right. 00:28:15.064 --> 00:28:17.885 Uh, my wife, uh, last September broke her ankle. 00:28:17.935 --> 00:28:22.260 Uh, doctor says, you know, Usually we can screw the bone back in, 00:28:22.260 --> 00:28:23.760 but you've powderized it, right? 00:28:23.780 --> 00:28:25.510 We're going to have to fuse your foot. 00:28:25.970 --> 00:28:29.750 Uh, you've broken several, your heel bones, your foot, your ankle, 00:28:29.750 --> 00:28:31.219 ligament damage, all the rest. 00:28:31.220 --> 00:28:36.899 And so big time surgery, fuse a foot, all the rest, but, uh, 00:28:36.910 --> 00:28:38.100 you'll be able to hobble around. 00:28:38.280 --> 00:28:40.159 She's like, I, I don't know. 00:28:40.320 --> 00:28:41.949 Let's put off the surgery for a little bit. 00:28:41.980 --> 00:28:46.170 I'm going to see how healing goes and I'm going to keep, um, working this out. 00:28:46.240 --> 00:28:47.800 Well, sure enough, now we're at a point. 00:28:47.800 --> 00:28:49.480 Doctor says, I don't think you need surgery. 00:28:50.560 --> 00:28:58.010 I think that we can find doctors and they might say something and we can buy 00:28:58.010 --> 00:28:59.889 into it fully and go down that path. 00:29:00.120 --> 00:29:04.709 But when you say that we fix ourselves, maybe it's okay 00:29:04.709 --> 00:29:05.899 to get a couple of opinions. 00:29:06.294 --> 00:29:10.854 And maybe if we're having issues, it's not just the doctors that we hang 00:29:10.854 --> 00:29:14.144 around, but also our social circles and our friends and the people that were 00:29:14.144 --> 00:29:18.454 around, find the people that are solving the problems that you look to solve. 00:29:18.454 --> 00:29:21.204 If you're always negative, find the people that can bring greater 00:29:21.204 --> 00:29:22.464 positivity into your life. 00:29:23.080 --> 00:29:28.170 And there's an unwritten social contract that you too have to produce 00:29:28.170 --> 00:29:30.180 that same positivity back for them. 00:29:30.190 --> 00:29:31.860 You can't be just a leech draining on them. 00:29:31.890 --> 00:29:36.270 Because I do think that there are, for a lot of these things, 00:29:36.550 --> 00:29:38.090 there can be a quick fix. 00:29:38.090 --> 00:29:39.669 It just might take a long time to find it. 00:29:40.490 --> 00:29:41.599 I don't know if that makes sense. 00:29:41.600 --> 00:29:41.899 Yeah. 00:29:42.189 --> 00:29:42.530 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 00:29:42.669 --> 00:29:43.160 Travis Bader: I think 00:29:43.219 --> 00:29:45.199 Jillian Brown: from what you just said there, I would say 00:29:45.260 --> 00:29:47.139 the number one thing that. 00:29:47.695 --> 00:29:52.245 cause of any mental health issue is environment, the 00:29:52.245 --> 00:29:53.655 environment that you're within. 00:29:53.965 --> 00:29:59.565 If it's a traumatic environment, so abuse, well, obviously that's your 00:29:59.565 --> 00:30:00.925 environment that you're surrounded in. 00:30:00.925 --> 00:30:02.485 It's a negative household. 00:30:02.545 --> 00:30:04.955 You're walking on eggshells, things like that. 00:30:05.315 --> 00:30:09.375 If you're, obviously, if you're in the military and you're stationed somewhere 00:30:09.475 --> 00:30:12.965 where there's bombs going off while you're sleeping, you may not even be in combat. 00:30:12.965 --> 00:30:18.435 Well, your environment is putting your nervous system, um, In, in a 00:30:18.465 --> 00:30:23.195 traumatic state, even just sleeping, all of that, um, I fully think 00:30:23.205 --> 00:30:24.495 that it's complete environment. 00:30:24.515 --> 00:30:26.895 Like I said before, hoarding, just your house. 00:30:26.895 --> 00:30:30.075 If your house, you're living in a hoarder's house, um, 00:30:30.165 --> 00:30:32.180 that's That's your environment. 00:30:32.180 --> 00:30:33.650 It's a negative environment. 00:30:34.040 --> 00:30:36.750 All of those sorts of things clutter just in general. 00:30:36.990 --> 00:30:41.080 Um, and then, yeah, technically social media is your environment. 00:30:41.350 --> 00:30:44.000 If you're choosing to go and just be on social media, that's what you're 00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:45.480 surrounding yourself and looking at. 00:30:45.720 --> 00:30:46.970 You could put the TV on. 00:30:46.970 --> 00:30:50.475 I'm not knocking TV or social media in the regards of What are 00:30:50.475 --> 00:30:52.295 you looking at on those platforms? 00:30:52.625 --> 00:30:56.915 Are you going and looking at NatGeo and reading stories about, um, 00:30:57.015 --> 00:31:01.155 different new medications they're finding through the work with frogs 00:31:01.195 --> 00:31:02.675 and the Amazon or things like that? 00:31:02.685 --> 00:31:05.375 Like cool, really interesting facts and stuff. 00:31:05.695 --> 00:31:08.165 Getting an education side of things. 00:31:09.330 --> 00:31:14.720 Or are you just going and looking at Taylor Swift's next album and seeing 00:31:14.730 --> 00:31:19.040 her, she's lost weight and she's wearing a political statement dress 00:31:19.040 --> 00:31:23.020 or something like, are you, I'm just saying like, are you choosing to go and 00:31:23.020 --> 00:31:24.830 surround, make that your environment? 00:31:24.900 --> 00:31:27.950 And now you're of course putting yourself in a mental state of 00:31:27.950 --> 00:31:29.129 like, well I should look that way. 00:31:29.360 --> 00:31:29.890 like that. 00:31:29.930 --> 00:31:30.890 I should believe that. 00:31:31.390 --> 00:31:37.150 Um, for me, um, when I mentioned briefly that I was homeless, well, I 00:31:37.150 --> 00:31:42.420 left it an abusive relationship and there were aspects of that environment. 00:31:42.530 --> 00:31:48.540 Um, I was in it for five and a half years and there were aspects that were positive. 00:31:48.540 --> 00:31:52.070 We had a dog sled company and every day I would go down to the dogs to 00:31:52.070 --> 00:31:53.580 feed them and water them and clean up. 00:31:53.980 --> 00:31:58.940 And I would nuzzle my face in their, their fur and their neck and give them big hugs. 00:31:58.990 --> 00:32:03.755 And, I would be thankful it was me there and not somebody else because somehow 00:32:03.755 --> 00:32:05.135 I knew I was going to get through it. 00:32:05.635 --> 00:32:07.895 That was the positive and that was what got me through. 00:32:07.895 --> 00:32:10.465 There was some positive context to that environment. 00:32:11.095 --> 00:32:13.135 That's part of why I was there for so long. 00:32:13.625 --> 00:32:17.005 And when I left, um, I had to leave everything. 00:32:17.005 --> 00:32:20.635 I had to leave the dogs, everything behind and, um, ended up homeless. 00:32:21.315 --> 00:32:27.220 But, I was homeless in a tent in nature, so my environment shifted and in ways 00:32:27.270 --> 00:32:30.850 I felt it was negative because I was scared and I was alone and I had left 00:32:30.850 --> 00:32:36.060 everything, um, and yeah, I'm homeless and I'm worried about judgment of my family. 00:32:36.060 --> 00:32:38.100 How are they going to think all of those sides of it? 00:32:39.210 --> 00:32:42.160 I was in nature, which was a very healthy environment. 00:32:42.640 --> 00:32:43.080 So um. 00:32:43.375 --> 00:32:49.515 After getting through that side of things, um, like, having suicidal thoughts while 00:32:49.515 --> 00:32:53.665 I was there, but I never had suicidal thoughts when I was in that relationship. 00:32:53.855 --> 00:32:57.115 Um, and that's what scared me and why I went to the therapist at that time. 00:32:57.555 --> 00:32:58.135 Why do you think that is? 00:32:59.075 --> 00:33:06.635 Um, so, the, for a month, After, I was still dealing with the person, um, 00:33:07.755 --> 00:33:10.975 in some way trying to contact me, so I was still living in a lot of fear. 00:33:11.395 --> 00:33:15.875 So I was still in fight, flight, freeze, um, aspect. 00:33:15.875 --> 00:33:17.935 So I hadn't decompressed yet. 00:33:18.545 --> 00:33:25.505 And after that all subsided, I, um, basically I was able to now feel 00:33:25.535 --> 00:33:31.660 every emotion, every Everything, like literally everything from the past five 00:33:31.660 --> 00:33:34.150 and a half years that I had held in. 00:33:34.470 --> 00:33:39.310 So it was like imploding and exploding all of it with it, like inside me. 00:33:39.820 --> 00:33:42.620 Travis Bader: And that's what I was asking when you're in nature and everything 00:33:42.620 --> 00:33:44.500 quiets down, what happens to that mind? 00:33:44.500 --> 00:33:46.220 And I'm, I take it, this is. 00:33:46.270 --> 00:33:46.750 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 00:33:46.870 --> 00:33:47.050 What happened. 00:33:47.410 --> 00:33:47.890 Yeah. 00:33:47.890 --> 00:33:49.940 So then all of a sudden. 00:33:50.445 --> 00:33:56.085 It was, I was going through every, everything possible and yeah, went, went 00:33:56.085 --> 00:34:01.055 on a walk with my dog to a river and I contemplated suicide in the river. 00:34:01.555 --> 00:34:06.455 And I immediately turned back, tied my dog out to a tree and went to a therapist 00:34:06.505 --> 00:34:08.555 because I'm like, I don't understand this. 00:34:09.015 --> 00:34:12.975 And again, I walked in, it was the only time I went to a 00:34:12.975 --> 00:34:14.515 therapist since I was a teenager. 00:34:15.065 --> 00:34:16.364 Um, and yeah. 00:34:16.365 --> 00:34:21.995 Um, I felt I judged and all I was told was sounds like you have PTSD and I was 00:34:21.995 --> 00:34:26.335 diagnosed with PTSD, but I wasn't told even what those four letters stood for. 00:34:26.855 --> 00:34:28.165 Travis Bader: Well, you have your own definition of PTSD. 00:34:29.225 --> 00:34:29.685 Yes, 00:34:29.845 --> 00:34:32.235 Jillian Brown: but I was sent out and she didn't ask like if I was 00:34:32.235 --> 00:34:35.585 safe and like there was nothing and I saw her beautiful family photo 00:34:35.615 --> 00:34:36.955 and I'm like, well, that's nice. 00:34:36.955 --> 00:34:42.545 She gets to go home to her house and I'm going back to a tent and 00:34:42.585 --> 00:34:43.945 yeah, I never went back, but. 00:34:44.480 --> 00:34:48.820 it pushed me to, like I said, heal myself. 00:34:49.370 --> 00:34:51.200 Like, I'm gonna have to get through this on my own. 00:34:51.200 --> 00:34:54.780 And because I had changed my environment to somewhere that I felt I could 00:34:54.780 --> 00:34:58.210 do that, because I had grown up in nature as well, and it was always a 00:34:58.210 --> 00:35:02.510 safe place for me, but it's always a healing spot for anyone, really. 00:35:02.510 --> 00:35:08.215 I, I, I started just walking every day with my dog for hours and hours hiking 00:35:08.215 --> 00:35:13.685 around and I'd let her off her leash and I would just follow her and I realized 00:35:13.715 --> 00:35:21.425 that I was healing and moving past things because I was not focusing on 00:35:21.505 --> 00:35:25.185 the past and what I was had been through and I wasn't worrying about the future. 00:35:25.625 --> 00:35:28.795 I was living in that moment wondering, where are we going next? 00:35:28.795 --> 00:35:31.130 I wonder what Roxy dog is following. 00:35:31.140 --> 00:35:32.300 Are we going to see an animal? 00:35:32.800 --> 00:35:37.370 And, and then I just started to do some exercises out there as well. 00:35:37.650 --> 00:35:38.250 Um, 00:35:38.250 --> 00:35:38.453 Travis Bader: and. 00:35:38.453 --> 00:35:39.468 Like what kind of exercises? 00:35:39.468 --> 00:35:39.671 Oh, 00:35:39.671 --> 00:35:41.449 Jillian Brown: I would do like squats and things. 00:35:41.450 --> 00:35:42.070 Like physical exercises. 00:35:42.070 --> 00:35:43.290 Yeah, physical exercises. 00:35:43.290 --> 00:35:43.480 Yeah. 00:35:43.490 --> 00:35:44.540 Squats and pushups. 00:35:44.540 --> 00:35:47.770 I'd grab rocks and lift them, all sorts of stuff, but I would do it in nature. 00:35:48.180 --> 00:35:48.610 Um. 00:35:49.315 --> 00:35:53.045 And it was only up till a couple years ago that I actually got real weights. 00:35:53.105 --> 00:35:55.145 It was like logs and all these things. 00:35:55.395 --> 00:35:58.955 I literally had a log in the back of my vehicle that I would drive around with. 00:35:59.095 --> 00:36:01.055 It was my special weight log. 00:36:01.415 --> 00:36:03.725 Um, but um, yeah. 00:36:03.725 --> 00:36:07.625 And, and that changed environment to be homeless in nature was the 00:36:07.635 --> 00:36:08.719 best home I could have ever had. 00:36:08.720 --> 00:36:12.208 Been in to heal and get through all of that. 00:36:12.208 --> 00:36:12.557 Isn't 00:36:12.557 --> 00:36:16.010 Travis Bader: it crazy how just getting out and walking can 00:36:16.010 --> 00:36:17.810 change your mental perspective? 00:36:18.160 --> 00:36:18.350 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 00:36:18.550 --> 00:36:21.330 Travis Bader: There's so many people that I've talked to in the past, 00:36:21.350 --> 00:36:22.880 oh, I've got to talk this through. 00:36:22.880 --> 00:36:24.910 I've got to, I got to think about it. 00:36:24.910 --> 00:36:26.920 I've got to, maybe there's some medication. 00:36:26.920 --> 00:36:28.780 Well, you know, I've, I've heard about diet. 00:36:29.600 --> 00:36:34.880 Uh, I don't know anybody who's gotten themselves mentally well, sitting on 00:36:34.880 --> 00:36:37.320 the couch Thinking themselves better. 00:36:37.410 --> 00:36:43.340 However, getting out for just a simple walk can allow some of 00:36:43.340 --> 00:36:44.870 that decompression to happen. 00:36:45.270 --> 00:36:48.640 And you know, that's why I ask, like, when you're out in the wilderness and 00:36:48.640 --> 00:36:50.280 everything's quiet, the cell phone's off. 00:36:50.280 --> 00:36:50.470 Yeah. 00:36:50.470 --> 00:36:52.390 Go for a walk, leave the cell phone behind. 00:36:53.910 --> 00:36:56.810 And you can find the thoughts can start racing on through, 00:36:56.810 --> 00:36:58.590 but that's a mental processing. 00:36:59.620 --> 00:37:00.940 And it's so powerful. 00:37:01.010 --> 00:37:01.520 Jillian Brown: Right? 00:37:01.560 --> 00:37:06.640 And part of the thing for me in the mornings, which I've done since that 00:37:06.640 --> 00:37:13.090 day of contemplating suicide, is every day I stop at a water source, and I. 00:37:13.575 --> 00:37:14.575 wash my face in it. 00:37:14.625 --> 00:37:16.215 And it's been since that day. 00:37:16.305 --> 00:37:20.865 So that was 2016 till now 2024. 00:37:21.225 --> 00:37:25.045 And every day possible, I have done that since then. 00:37:25.575 --> 00:37:29.805 I have washed my face in water and at times I was doing like fully immersed 00:37:29.815 --> 00:37:33.185 in, in ice, like glacier water as well. 00:37:33.405 --> 00:37:36.875 And a big part of that is because it stops those thoughts. 00:37:37.405 --> 00:37:39.005 It is a total reset. 00:37:39.375 --> 00:37:44.300 There's a lot of studies that show that even just splashing cold tap 00:37:44.300 --> 00:37:47.710 water on your face, it's like a reset for your nervous system. 00:37:48.430 --> 00:37:52.180 And for me, that's a big thing because my mind will race and race 00:37:52.180 --> 00:37:55.300 and race while I'm out for that walk and it'll race in negative ways. 00:37:55.310 --> 00:37:59.370 It'll race through anything that I potentially had on my mind the past couple 00:37:59.370 --> 00:38:03.150 days and to the point where sometimes I have to actually stop and write it 00:38:03.150 --> 00:38:07.930 out just because I'm like, I can't, I have to like get this off my mind. 00:38:08.850 --> 00:38:10.940 But as soon as I wash my face in that river. 00:38:11.425 --> 00:38:15.445 The rest of my walk, I'm not thinking about really anything other than 00:38:15.445 --> 00:38:17.355 probably my dog or throwing a stick. 00:38:17.405 --> 00:38:18.325 I don't remember. 00:38:18.375 --> 00:38:21.225 But I remember before that, what I was thinking about. 00:38:21.525 --> 00:38:21.875 Travis Bader: Interesting. 00:38:21.935 --> 00:38:23.495 What happens if you miss that routine? 00:38:24.065 --> 00:38:24.485 Jillian Brown: Um, 00:38:26.395 --> 00:38:27.095 Travis Bader: ask Ryan, 00:38:28.685 --> 00:38:31.245 Jillian Brown: um, um, I can get away with it. 00:38:31.335 --> 00:38:34.355 Um, like I'll still wash my face with cold water or just from a tap. 00:38:34.615 --> 00:38:39.455 Um, I can get away with it at times depending on. 00:38:40.735 --> 00:38:42.415 that is the reason for it. 00:38:42.615 --> 00:38:44.855 What's going on in my life at that time. 00:38:44.935 --> 00:38:51.045 Um, but it's so ingrained in me and it's so important for me 00:38:51.045 --> 00:38:56.225 because none of us truly get over, I don't think, these, these demons 00:38:56.225 --> 00:38:57.255 and things, they're always there. 00:38:57.255 --> 00:39:02.585 And for me, I just, As much as it's been a long time and I have these 00:39:02.585 --> 00:39:06.655 tools and I share and stuff, I still feel like it's still so fresh. 00:39:06.765 --> 00:39:06.995 Travis Bader: Mmm. 00:39:07.545 --> 00:39:09.425 Jillian Brown: That, like, some of those moments still 00:39:09.425 --> 00:39:10.665 feel like they were yesterday. 00:39:10.735 --> 00:39:11.325 Travis Bader: Mm hmm. 00:39:11.335 --> 00:39:16.685 Jillian Brown: So, um, I definitely build up that energy really, really quick. 00:39:16.985 --> 00:39:20.435 Also, I just have a lot of like, go, go, go energy. 00:39:21.275 --> 00:39:25.385 So if I can't get out and go for like an hour, hour and a half walk and 00:39:25.385 --> 00:39:28.845 then do some exercises and hopefully do that routine again in the day, 00:39:29.125 --> 00:39:34.605 then I'm also like, I gotta go. 00:39:34.605 --> 00:39:35.335 What can I do? 00:39:37.075 --> 00:39:37.595 Travis Bader: Yeah. 00:39:38.445 --> 00:39:39.205 And you're right. 00:39:39.305 --> 00:39:45.425 It never goes away, but the way that we perceive it can change. 00:39:46.295 --> 00:39:48.425 The way that we look at it, the perspective can change. 00:39:48.805 --> 00:39:51.815 You have those instances where somebody looks at something and they're like, 00:39:51.815 --> 00:39:53.395 well, here's another way to look at it. 00:39:53.395 --> 00:39:54.165 Have you thought of this? 00:39:54.165 --> 00:39:56.645 And, Oh, hold on. 00:39:56.715 --> 00:39:57.335 You're right. 00:39:57.355 --> 00:39:59.125 It's like, Oh, I don't want to be running away. 00:39:59.525 --> 00:39:59.795 I'm a fighter. 00:39:59.795 --> 00:40:02.055 I'm not going to run away from my problems. 00:40:02.145 --> 00:40:03.445 Are you running away from your problems? 00:40:03.445 --> 00:40:05.665 Or are you running towards something that's more desirable? 00:40:06.565 --> 00:40:07.445 Oh yeah, yeah. 00:40:07.445 --> 00:40:08.125 Maybe I am. 00:40:08.145 --> 00:40:09.185 Okay, here we go. 00:40:09.185 --> 00:40:09.425 Right. 00:40:09.425 --> 00:40:12.715 And that little perspective shift for that mind shift can change everything. 00:40:13.380 --> 00:40:14.200 It's still there. 00:40:14.210 --> 00:40:15.400 You're still doing the same thing. 00:40:15.400 --> 00:40:16.500 It's still running through. 00:40:18.200 --> 00:40:20.490 Do you do anything to help change that perspective? 00:40:20.540 --> 00:40:23.260 Are there ways that you find that it's been helpful for you 00:40:23.260 --> 00:40:24.340 to help change the perspective? 00:40:24.640 --> 00:40:27.760 Or do you find yourself ruminating on the same thing over and over again, kind of 00:40:27.770 --> 00:40:30.190 stuck in a, like, how do I get over this? 00:40:30.340 --> 00:40:34.080 Jillian Brown: I, I totally agree with you that it's all about shifting 00:40:34.080 --> 00:40:36.320 your perspective on a situation. 00:40:36.360 --> 00:40:40.160 And it's, It's so hard to, for one, tell somebody that. 00:40:41.070 --> 00:40:41.880 Travis Bader: No one wants to hear it. 00:40:41.880 --> 00:40:42.230 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 00:40:42.310 --> 00:40:43.480 It's so difficult. 00:40:43.500 --> 00:40:46.340 And there are definitely aspects that there's no way I'm, like, there's no way 00:40:46.340 --> 00:40:50.260 I can look at that situation and be like, find the positive in him doing this to 00:40:50.260 --> 00:40:52.160 me, or, like, there's not a positive. 00:40:52.350 --> 00:40:52.890 There's not. 00:40:53.140 --> 00:40:53.490 But. 00:40:54.080 --> 00:40:55.980 That something else like the dogs. 00:40:56.140 --> 00:40:57.520 That was my positive. 00:40:57.920 --> 00:40:59.040 I'm not focusing that. 00:40:59.610 --> 00:41:03.020 I'm not leaving that aspect out of that time. 00:41:03.110 --> 00:41:04.080 That was a positive. 00:41:04.480 --> 00:41:11.500 But, um, the, for me, a big way that I have shifted is, um, I still have 00:41:11.500 --> 00:41:14.810 all those, those stories, and like I was saying, I don't like seeing people 00:41:15.820 --> 00:41:21.100 feeling uncomfortable, uncomfortable by me sharing, um, traumatic events or hard 00:41:21.100 --> 00:41:27.280 things to talk about, having those hard conversations, um, for me, the shift 00:41:27.280 --> 00:41:32.580 of perspective on it is If I share my story and what I've been through and my 00:41:32.580 --> 00:41:35.470 tools, maybe it'll help somebody else. 00:41:35.940 --> 00:41:37.960 Travis Bader: I think you nailed it on the head. 00:41:38.090 --> 00:41:42.360 Jillian Brown: That's why I do these things, like podcasts, why I public speak. 00:41:42.610 --> 00:41:44.050 It's why I take photos. 00:41:44.220 --> 00:41:47.069 Like, I want to document people's journeys and feelings. 00:41:47.250 --> 00:41:51.590 Nature's journeys in hopes that either I could protect somewhere or protect 00:41:51.590 --> 00:41:56.670 somebody or something may change in a person, it may impact them, um, 00:41:56.720 --> 00:42:00.550 and it may shift their perspective on potentially how they're looking at a 00:42:00.550 --> 00:42:07.270 river and its need to stay clean or shift their perspective on themselves. 00:42:07.410 --> 00:42:11.010 Like, I'm out paddling while I'm seeing this photo and the story of paddling. 00:42:11.500 --> 00:42:14.795 Um, Maybe I need to shift my perspective and go out paddling 00:42:14.795 --> 00:42:18.765 because clearly that person is enjoying that and I'm not enjoying what I'm 00:42:18.765 --> 00:42:21.285 doing, shifting those perspectives. 00:42:21.325 --> 00:42:25.455 Um, but yeah, a big part of why I share my negativity or the things 00:42:25.455 --> 00:42:28.665 I, sorry, the things that I've gone through that are negative is 00:42:28.665 --> 00:42:30.285 because it may help somebody else. 00:42:30.325 --> 00:42:31.585 Travis Bader: It's funny how you say there's nothing 00:42:31.585 --> 00:42:32.875 positive that came out of that. 00:42:32.875 --> 00:42:35.345 And then you go on to talk about the positive that came out of it. 00:42:35.345 --> 00:42:35.467 Well, 00:42:35.467 --> 00:42:35.954 Jillian Brown: there's still a lot. 00:42:36.105 --> 00:42:40.965 But there's parts in it that there's no way I could shift that, 00:42:40.965 --> 00:42:42.955 that thing into like positive. 00:42:42.995 --> 00:42:48.805 But yes, by sharing like that I was in an abusive relationship, by saying that, then 00:42:48.805 --> 00:42:51.385 yeah, I can see like, oh, it's positive. 00:42:51.465 --> 00:42:53.205 I know that there's one person out there. 00:42:53.205 --> 00:42:54.675 She found me and told me. 00:42:56.000 --> 00:43:00.260 So just that in itself, I may be able to help one more other than just her. 00:43:00.390 --> 00:43:00.910 Travis Bader: And that's it. 00:43:00.940 --> 00:43:02.620 And that's a perspective shift right there. 00:43:02.840 --> 00:43:03.110 Yeah, that's true. 00:43:03.130 --> 00:43:06.260 The fact that you are now provided the background and the street cred, 00:43:06.270 --> 00:43:10.910 so to speak, and the authority, you can actually reach other people. 00:43:10.950 --> 00:43:14.650 And the fact that you're still, you're looking at tools, you found tools that 00:43:14.650 --> 00:43:19.090 work For you, you're exploring new tools and you're able to share that those it's 00:43:19.090 --> 00:43:21.210 not necessarily something positive for us. 00:43:21.240 --> 00:43:23.010 And I think that's a very powerful thing. 00:43:23.030 --> 00:43:27.220 I think that's the place where a lot of people, uh, have difficulty. 00:43:27.220 --> 00:43:30.590 It's like you're in the airplane, oxygen mass comes down. 00:43:30.920 --> 00:43:33.380 Oh, I got to take care of me so I can take care of others. 00:43:33.410 --> 00:43:33.640 And this. 00:43:34.180 --> 00:43:38.570 In that situation, it makes sense, but that mentality of, 00:43:38.590 --> 00:43:39.920 Oh, I got to take care of me. 00:43:39.930 --> 00:43:42.730 So make sure I get myself sorted first. 00:43:43.900 --> 00:43:48.340 From a mental health standpoint, very often that can be the worst advice 00:43:48.380 --> 00:43:53.530 because you just spiral into yourself over and over again, trying to Try 00:43:53.530 --> 00:43:54.770 to figure out what's wrong with me. 00:43:54.770 --> 00:43:58.230 It's like, it's like looking at what's that saying, you know, you get bit by 00:43:58.230 --> 00:44:02.740 a snake and you try and chase down that snake and figure out why the snake bit 00:44:02.740 --> 00:44:05.810 you and tell the snake that, you know, you didn't deserve that, or else you 00:44:05.810 --> 00:44:07.200 can just realize, Hey, you know what? 00:44:07.200 --> 00:44:08.160 I've been bit by a snake. 00:44:08.160 --> 00:44:08.970 I got some poison. 00:44:08.970 --> 00:44:09.630 Let's deal with it. 00:44:09.630 --> 00:44:10.680 And so I can get on with it. 00:44:10.680 --> 00:44:10.990 Right. 00:44:11.440 --> 00:44:20.100 Um, the act of being of service to others can help you immensely. 00:44:20.110 --> 00:44:21.850 And what you're doing. 00:44:22.095 --> 00:44:25.305 That difficult times that you had, the areas where you see no 00:44:25.335 --> 00:44:29.125 positive outcome from it actually has a positive aspect that you're 00:44:29.125 --> 00:44:30.535 able to use that to help others. 00:44:30.545 --> 00:44:33.335 So I, I think that's a very strong perspective, Jeff. 00:44:33.445 --> 00:44:34.835 Jillian Brown: That's, that's definitely true. 00:44:34.835 --> 00:44:39.385 I guess I, yeah, I hadn't, uh, looked at it in this conversation like 00:44:39.385 --> 00:44:41.235 that, but yes, it's totally true. 00:44:41.345 --> 00:44:46.435 Like I, from doing all those things, I wouldn't have, and, um, being 00:44:46.435 --> 00:44:50.910 through all those things, I wouldn't have ended up working at a camp like 00:44:50.910 --> 00:44:57.470 for PTSD and helping others, um, with it and, and sharing all of my 00:44:57.470 --> 00:45:01.750 tools that I've learned, um, and, and taking them out in nature to do that. 00:45:02.470 --> 00:45:07.190 Um, yeah, and putting people in uncomfortable situations out there that 00:45:07.200 --> 00:45:12.370 they find uncomfortable and potentially by them seeing how comfortable I am. 00:45:12.785 --> 00:45:17.705 It allows them to feel more comfortable there, but teaching them the tools to, 00:45:17.875 --> 00:45:22.135 to find that, um, find that comfort there and find their tools, whether 00:45:22.135 --> 00:45:25.945 they utilize the ones that I share or they find their own that work for 00:45:25.945 --> 00:45:31.095 them, um, yeah, that's, I wouldn't be there if it hadn't been through going 00:45:31.095 --> 00:45:33.075 through those negative experiences, 00:45:33.075 --> 00:45:33.885 Travis Bader: so. 00:45:34.055 --> 00:45:35.725 That discomfort builds resiliency. 00:45:35.775 --> 00:45:38.985 And I think that's another aspect that, um, is lacking 00:45:38.995 --> 00:45:40.685 when we look for that quick fix. 00:45:40.915 --> 00:45:44.865 What, what pill can I take so I can sit on the couch and comfortably take a pill? 00:45:44.865 --> 00:45:48.535 And I've talked to the doctor so many times and you know, the uncomfortable 00:45:48.535 --> 00:45:51.115 part is sit in my car and drive in there and driving back, but I don't 00:45:51.115 --> 00:45:53.375 have to do that because I can do it through zoom now or whatever it 00:45:53.375 --> 00:45:56.055 might be when you're out in nature. 00:45:56.480 --> 00:46:01.520 It can push you and it can test you and you've pushed yourself and you've 00:46:01.520 --> 00:46:05.800 tested yourself in nature and there's an inherent resilience that's built 00:46:05.810 --> 00:46:11.170 from that, that I think, um, even more than just being outside and listening 00:46:11.170 --> 00:46:17.320 to the rainfall and the birds chirp and, um, the act of moving through nature. 00:46:18.680 --> 00:46:21.140 It can be, the discomfort could be that you're getting cold. 00:46:21.390 --> 00:46:24.470 It could be that you're getting wet, that your legs are getting tired, or it could 00:46:24.480 --> 00:46:30.560 be that you're going through, uh, the Colorado river on a two person sea kayak. 00:46:30.590 --> 00:46:30.900 Is it? 00:46:30.900 --> 00:46:35.940 I mean, each one of these things is going to build a different level of, 00:46:35.980 --> 00:46:38.980 um, resilience for the individual. 00:46:40.250 --> 00:46:43.990 Jillian Brown: The one thing with what you just said is that it makes me 00:46:43.990 --> 00:46:49.990 think of is when we reconnect to that way of life, that's the way humans. 00:46:51.040 --> 00:46:51.760 You got it! 00:46:52.110 --> 00:46:56.190 So, it's no wonder that we're so stressed out in our everyday 00:46:56.190 --> 00:46:57.800 when we're doing the mundane. 00:46:57.800 --> 00:47:02.200 Yes, routine is important, but so is change and experiencing new things. 00:47:02.220 --> 00:47:02.560 Mm hmm. 00:47:02.570 --> 00:47:05.940 And exploring and learning, um. 00:47:06.325 --> 00:47:09.115 And we, so much of us don't do that. 00:47:09.705 --> 00:47:12.945 It's just the everyday mundane routine. 00:47:13.605 --> 00:47:14.625 Seeing new places. 00:47:14.645 --> 00:47:15.665 That's, we're meant to. 00:47:15.705 --> 00:47:17.215 We're supposed to see new places. 00:47:17.215 --> 00:47:18.485 We're supposed to see new things. 00:47:18.485 --> 00:47:21.145 We're supposed to taste new foods, like all of these things. 00:47:21.195 --> 00:47:23.505 Life is not supposed to be easy for us. 00:47:23.765 --> 00:47:27.235 And yeah, everyone listening is probably like, well, my life's not, not that easy. 00:47:27.395 --> 00:47:29.505 Everyone, everyone has that struggle. 00:47:29.505 --> 00:47:31.675 We all have things that make our lives not easy. 00:47:31.985 --> 00:47:35.814 But when you look at how we're supposed to be, like cavemen and. 00:47:36.205 --> 00:47:41.015 But before we had civilizations really, that's technically 00:47:41.015 --> 00:47:42.095 how we're supposed to be. 00:47:42.135 --> 00:47:44.015 And their life was certainly not easy. 00:47:45.405 --> 00:47:47.155 That's why they, they were just resilient. 00:47:47.245 --> 00:47:48.325 They got through everything. 00:47:48.325 --> 00:47:48.485 Yeah. 00:47:48.485 --> 00:47:50.765 They died really early, but that was because like some 00:47:50.765 --> 00:47:52.085 saber tooth tiger ate them. 00:47:52.095 --> 00:47:52.365 That's right. 00:47:52.425 --> 00:47:52.775 Or they didn't 00:47:52.785 --> 00:47:53.475 Travis Bader: wash their hands, I guess. 00:47:54.955 --> 00:47:56.685 Jillian Brown: But they were extra resilient to that. 00:47:58.105 --> 00:47:58.495 Travis Bader: Yeah. 00:47:58.575 --> 00:48:02.905 Well, and that, well, that difficulty is going to be relative and, but that's okay. 00:48:02.965 --> 00:48:05.865 I mean, People compare so often. 00:48:05.865 --> 00:48:07.745 Well, why should I be upset? 00:48:07.755 --> 00:48:09.445 This person has got it so much worse. 00:48:09.455 --> 00:48:13.155 Well, just realize that this is our natural response to it based on 00:48:13.155 --> 00:48:16.215 our life experiences, our level of resiliency, whatever it might be. 00:48:17.005 --> 00:48:18.185 And we will get through it. 00:48:18.245 --> 00:48:22.555 And if we frame this right, that gives us that extra little step up the, 00:48:22.555 --> 00:48:24.535 uh, up the staircase of resilience. 00:48:24.595 --> 00:48:26.615 And then it makes us tougher for the next thing. 00:48:27.625 --> 00:48:29.165 I think we were talking about this earlier. 00:48:29.165 --> 00:48:32.235 My daughter was mentioning some of her friends who have anxiety. 00:48:32.235 --> 00:48:35.520 And I'm like, I asked you, I'm like, When you were growing up, did anyone 00:48:35.530 --> 00:48:37.520 like talk about having anxiety as kids? 00:48:37.520 --> 00:48:43.700 And no, not, I'd never heard about any of this, but you see it over 00:48:44.240 --> 00:48:47.730 the mental health issues and the anxiety and children is prevalent. 00:48:47.730 --> 00:48:50.170 And maybe that's due to the amount of information that we 00:48:50.170 --> 00:48:52.360 have coming at us really quickly. 00:48:53.110 --> 00:48:57.010 I think a part of it is that we've created such safe environments. 00:48:57.060 --> 00:49:01.160 Like I asked my kids about school and I'm like, they gotta be lying to me. 00:49:01.180 --> 00:49:02.350 School can't be like that. 00:49:02.350 --> 00:49:04.100 Are you sure these people aren't. 00:49:04.430 --> 00:49:13.090 Picking on this person over here or, and I think our society and our schools 00:49:13.090 --> 00:49:17.660 have done a really good job of making things, um, setting boundaries for 00:49:17.660 --> 00:49:21.640 people of what's acceptable and what isn't, what's safe and what isn't, 00:49:21.650 --> 00:49:26.230 so you can't be racist and sexist and, uh, mean and discriminatory 00:49:26.230 --> 00:49:27.500 and all these different things. 00:49:28.160 --> 00:49:34.705 Uh, it, It hasn't produced those resiliency tools that would accompany 00:49:34.705 --> 00:49:38.225 that adversity that people would experience when we're younger. 00:49:38.225 --> 00:49:42.955 So I think kudos for creating a better sort of system and environment. 00:49:44.145 --> 00:49:47.535 But maybe we should look at how do we create that resilience in the 00:49:47.535 --> 00:49:51.395 kids as well through some sort of, uh, preferably shared adversity so 00:49:51.395 --> 00:49:53.895 people can, uh, relate to each other. 00:49:53.925 --> 00:49:54.255 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 00:49:54.295 --> 00:49:56.335 We're supposed to have disagreements. 00:49:56.355 --> 00:49:56.745 Yes. 00:49:56.755 --> 00:49:58.525 We're not all supposed to get along. 00:49:58.525 --> 00:50:00.205 We're not all supposed to be friends. 00:50:00.625 --> 00:50:05.695 I remember when I was in grade five, this, this girl and I, I, 00:50:05.745 --> 00:50:09.255 for some reason, I don't remember, but I didn't want to be her friend. 00:50:09.265 --> 00:50:10.265 I didn't like her. 00:50:10.265 --> 00:50:14.575 There was something about her that I, I I just didn't want to be a friend of hers. 00:50:15.115 --> 00:50:18.995 My teacher would keep us inside at recess to try to make us be friends. 00:50:19.795 --> 00:50:24.245 And, uh, uh, like, like, I must be really cool, but I don't think so 00:50:24.245 --> 00:50:25.665 that this girl is that desperate. 00:50:26.115 --> 00:50:31.915 But, um, um, I remember just thinking, like, how is this going 00:50:31.915 --> 00:50:34.745 to make me fri Why, why am I having to be friends with someone? 00:50:35.175 --> 00:50:37.465 Like you're trying to force me to like somebody. 00:50:37.475 --> 00:50:38.665 That's not going to make me like them. 00:50:38.825 --> 00:50:41.535 You're taking away my time with my actual friends to do this. 00:50:42.025 --> 00:50:46.635 But, um, yeah, there, there were obviously that we moved past that. 00:50:46.635 --> 00:50:49.615 And funny enough, she's actually come out and visited me and 00:50:49.615 --> 00:50:50.935 we've stayed in touch and 00:50:51.115 --> 00:50:51.835 Travis Bader: good job, teacher. 00:50:51.835 --> 00:50:52.485 Jillian Brown: So funny. 00:50:52.485 --> 00:50:56.885 Cause they're just like circled back that I have not seen probably anyone 00:50:56.885 --> 00:50:59.655 from grade five, but I've seen her. 00:50:59.685 --> 00:51:01.125 Cause you have a shared adversity. 00:51:01.755 --> 00:51:02.465 I don't know. 00:51:02.805 --> 00:51:04.445 Um, but yeah, we're supposed to. 00:51:05.085 --> 00:51:07.785 Not all like each other like that's normal. 00:51:07.785 --> 00:51:10.925 That's why there were different tribes in the same region. 00:51:10.955 --> 00:51:12.785 That's why there were fights and things like that. 00:51:12.785 --> 00:51:17.425 Yes, we don't like fights, but that creates resiliency and it 00:51:17.425 --> 00:51:22.225 creates rules and stamina and boundaries, personal boundaries. 00:51:22.585 --> 00:51:25.105 Yes, you said that there are boundaries and things are safe 00:51:25.145 --> 00:51:26.795 these days, but there's also. 00:51:27.505 --> 00:51:29.835 Everyone's right all the time in school. 00:51:29.965 --> 00:51:31.835 You can be a cat in school. 00:51:32.245 --> 00:51:33.365 Travis Bader: Oh, I've heard that one. 00:51:33.445 --> 00:51:33.655 Yeah. 00:51:33.665 --> 00:51:33.895 You're 00:51:33.895 --> 00:51:35.315 Jillian Brown: allowed to be a cat. 00:51:35.415 --> 00:51:38.865 Like, no, you can't be a cat like these things. 00:51:39.255 --> 00:51:42.195 Um, I'm not going to get on that topic cause we're going to have so many haters. 00:51:43.295 --> 00:51:45.235 Travis Bader: Like you should be able to say you're ridiculous 00:51:45.255 --> 00:51:46.165 if you want to do that. 00:51:46.165 --> 00:51:47.544 You're on your own doing your thing. 00:51:47.795 --> 00:51:50.505 I'll respect your right to do your thing, but come on. 00:51:50.505 --> 00:51:51.865 I mean, like we're a group here. 00:51:52.125 --> 00:51:55.775 Why don't we kind of get together, do this together, go home, be a cat, come 00:51:55.775 --> 00:51:57.055 back here and let's work as a team. 00:51:57.085 --> 00:51:57.535 You have a 00:51:57.545 --> 00:51:58.715 Jillian Brown: great imagination. 00:51:58.715 --> 00:52:03.185 Right now we're learning, save the imagination time for recess time or play 00:52:03.185 --> 00:52:04.885 time or free time, whatever you call it. 00:52:05.295 --> 00:52:07.815 But right now we are focused on learning something. 00:52:08.335 --> 00:52:10.445 That's like, it's a very simple conversation. 00:52:10.715 --> 00:52:15.295 We didn't have, I, I always was a dog when I was playing outside as a kid, but 00:52:15.325 --> 00:52:17.425 I couldn't be a dog in the classroom. 00:52:17.425 --> 00:52:19.155 Like that's, that's ridiculous. 00:52:19.155 --> 00:52:19.355 That's it. 00:52:19.355 --> 00:52:19.685 You're canceled. 00:52:19.685 --> 00:52:20.715 Yeah. 00:52:20.715 --> 00:52:23.735 But I'm just saying, no, those teachers are canceled cause they 00:52:23.735 --> 00:52:25.505 wouldn't let me in the classroom. 00:52:25.775 --> 00:52:27.105 Um, but. 00:52:27.415 --> 00:52:30.435 But I think that's a big part of, of the, of it. 00:52:30.455 --> 00:52:35.205 Like you're, yes, it, it, you'd look at it and be like, well, then there shouldn't 00:52:35.215 --> 00:52:39.785 be that much anxiety because they can be, they have freedom to do all those things. 00:52:40.435 --> 00:52:40.585 Yeah. 00:52:40.585 --> 00:52:42.845 But then there's the kids that don't know what they want to be. 00:52:43.105 --> 00:52:45.515 So then there's even more anxiety because all these other 00:52:45.515 --> 00:52:47.055 kids are like, well, I'm a dog. 00:52:47.055 --> 00:52:50.555 I'm a, I'm this, I'm that, whatever, what it is. 00:52:50.555 --> 00:52:52.755 Well, then the person who doesn't know they're going to be 00:52:52.755 --> 00:52:54.725 anxious, anxious, extra anxious. 00:52:54.735 --> 00:52:55.365 And they're a kid. 00:52:55.955 --> 00:53:05.370 Um, I think, I don't, I don't know how to, how to say it like having winners 00:53:05.370 --> 00:53:09.010 and losers, I get, it creates resiliency. 00:53:09.010 --> 00:53:14.550 It creates understanding of how to know how to, how to be okay with not 00:53:14.560 --> 00:53:19.100 being perfect and not being number one and not being top of the class 00:53:19.620 --> 00:53:23.320 because you're not always going to be top of the class through life. 00:53:23.630 --> 00:53:26.790 But if you're all told you're all top of the class, then when you're done 00:53:26.790 --> 00:53:29.270 with class, well, you're screwed. 00:53:30.115 --> 00:53:34.765 You're gonna have a big reality check like you go into high school and high 00:53:34.765 --> 00:53:38.405 school you have exams and stuff Well, you're gonna fail like you if you fail an 00:53:38.405 --> 00:53:43.865 exam, well, you're gonna you're gonna be told you fail There are national exams. 00:53:43.865 --> 00:53:45.385 There's not everybody passes. 00:53:45.955 --> 00:53:50.544 There's no way you can't say cuz I'm a dog I still pass like you've seen 00:53:50.725 --> 00:53:52.865 Travis Bader: idiocracy The movie? 00:53:53.165 --> 00:53:55.845 Jillian Brown: I have at some point, but I don't remember it fully. 00:53:56.035 --> 00:54:01.835 Travis Bader: Basically it's humankind gets less intelligent as time goes on and 00:54:02.445 --> 00:54:07.565 their primal urges are all, everyone's listened to, you can do whatever you 00:54:07.565 --> 00:54:14.755 want and society basically all collapses and it's, uh, Um, it's a comedy by 00:54:14.765 --> 00:54:20.735 Mike Judd's, it's not supposed to be a roadmap for where we're going, but, um, 00:54:21.565 --> 00:54:23.795 but boundaries, people need boundaries. 00:54:23.795 --> 00:54:27.695 And by saying no, and this is where you rank on this scale. 00:54:28.025 --> 00:54:33.505 Hey, if I rank zero on a scale of one to 10 on my mathematical abilities, 00:54:33.505 --> 00:54:35.595 um, Doesn't mean I'm stupid. 00:54:35.595 --> 00:54:39.565 It means I get a zero on that scale for whatever that testing group is. 00:54:39.565 --> 00:54:40.245 It's like Mansa. 00:54:40.295 --> 00:54:45.295 I've done very well on Mensa, um, on all of those tests, doesn't mean I'm smart. 00:54:45.445 --> 00:54:49.025 It means like I like puzzles and games and I can, and I can work my way through it. 00:54:49.025 --> 00:54:49.155 Right. 00:54:49.725 --> 00:54:52.064 That depends on the, uh, the system, but those, those, those, those. 00:54:52.415 --> 00:54:55.965 Boundaries, kids crave them, adults crave them. 00:54:55.995 --> 00:55:00.275 If you have employees and you say, ah, you know, go do whatever you want. 00:55:00.785 --> 00:55:04.525 They will push those boundaries and they'll look to where their limits are. 00:55:05.045 --> 00:55:09.425 And if you don't push back, eventually they'll become dissatisfied 00:55:09.435 --> 00:55:10.845 in one way, shape, or form. 00:55:10.845 --> 00:55:16.585 Kids will become disgruntled, upset, feel unloved, um, coworkers will 00:55:16.595 --> 00:55:18.915 feel, well, I guess I can do whatever. 00:55:18.985 --> 00:55:20.625 Maybe I run the show around here, right? 00:55:21.625 --> 00:55:26.870 We need these boundaries to, uh, uh, To know how to be able to 00:55:26.910 --> 00:55:28.540 interact with each other socially. 00:55:28.550 --> 00:55:32.110 And when we start removing them and everybody's opinion is just as valid. 00:55:33.160 --> 00:55:38.110 Um, I think that's where a lot of these issues are coming in. 00:55:38.110 --> 00:55:41.510 And I see the pendulum swinging back to like this whole canceled culture 00:55:41.510 --> 00:55:44.910 thing, you said something wrong, that's racist or that's sexist. 00:55:44.910 --> 00:55:48.980 And the person's like Jimmy Carr, a comedian in the UK. 00:55:49.000 --> 00:55:49.410 I love it. 00:55:49.410 --> 00:55:54.000 He says, next time I get canceled for whatever I say, I'm going to stand up 00:55:54.000 --> 00:56:00.605 and say, I'm sorry, and they're going to say, He's just saying the words. 00:56:00.605 --> 00:56:01.475 He doesn't mean it. 00:56:01.695 --> 00:56:03.225 He's like, ah, you get it. 00:56:03.285 --> 00:56:04.005 I'm a comedian. 00:56:04.005 --> 00:56:05.685 I can say words that I don't mean it. 00:56:05.685 --> 00:56:06.005 Right. 00:56:06.225 --> 00:56:06.435 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 00:56:06.485 --> 00:56:12.495 Travis Bader: Um, I, I think that, uh, having a society where we can disagree 00:56:12.495 --> 00:56:16.195 with each other respectfully and not everyone's on the same page, massive. 00:56:17.625 --> 00:56:17.775 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 00:56:17.995 --> 00:56:18.305 Yeah. 00:56:18.345 --> 00:56:22.585 You have to, I mean, look at like Vancouver is what the most diverse. 00:56:23.070 --> 00:56:26.560 City in the entire world, debatably. 00:56:26.560 --> 00:56:27.409 Is it? 00:56:27.410 --> 00:56:28.260 I don't know. 00:56:28.630 --> 00:56:29.270 Culturally. 00:56:29.510 --> 00:56:31.890 Well, how are we all living in a city together? 00:56:31.930 --> 00:56:35.470 Because we're accepting of everybody's different beliefs and stuff. 00:56:35.800 --> 00:56:37.980 But is anybody sitting, you have to sit down and under, 00:56:38.020 --> 00:56:39.950 like, go and understand people. 00:56:40.230 --> 00:56:41.740 That's how we grow, too. 00:56:42.200 --> 00:56:43.210 And how we learn. 00:56:43.260 --> 00:56:45.050 Like, I absolutely love debating. 00:56:45.160 --> 00:56:47.760 Growing up, my brother's very stuck in his ways. 00:56:47.780 --> 00:56:51.720 Like, he's, he's, this is the way, it's right or wrong. 00:56:54.885 --> 00:56:56.515 He's been like that since we were kids. 00:56:56.795 --> 00:56:59.285 For me, I could care less if I'm right. 00:56:59.405 --> 00:57:06.055 I, for one, want to have a conversation to learn, um, and, uh, so I would just start 00:57:06.055 --> 00:57:10.335 a topic, and I, because I would know it would go into a debate, and I would just 00:57:10.335 --> 00:57:11.169 love it because, you know, I love it. 00:57:11.450 --> 00:57:14.000 I would learn from him, too, and I would learn. 00:57:14.000 --> 00:57:14.450 He's like steering the plot. 00:57:14.450 --> 00:57:16.820 Well, yeah, I mean, that was really why I loved it. 00:57:17.130 --> 00:57:21.990 But I would also learn other opinions and other views on the world. 00:57:22.400 --> 00:57:24.980 And I learned so much through that. 00:57:24.980 --> 00:57:28.630 I've, still to this day, I've learned, I learn so much through my brother 00:57:28.850 --> 00:57:30.490 when we get together because of that. 00:57:30.500 --> 00:57:37.039 Because his, what he shares and knows is so vastly different than what I know. 00:57:39.420 --> 00:57:43.390 Travis Bader: And it's no less valid or important, but it's good to see 00:57:43.390 --> 00:57:46.470 that other perspective because you can comport yourself accordingly as you 00:57:46.470 --> 00:57:50.990 move forward with, with a different, uh, set of guiding principles perhaps, or. 00:57:52.160 --> 00:57:52.580 Jillian Brown: Exactly. 00:57:52.610 --> 00:57:57.310 There's also with the, going back to the fact that your daughter brought up 00:57:57.460 --> 00:58:03.645 that her friends have anxiety, this is a funny one, cause a lot It's hard to, 00:58:04.035 --> 00:58:08.335 I'm, I'm having trouble navigating how to, how to bring, how to talk about it, 00:58:08.645 --> 00:58:17.805 but um, it's great that mental health is so talked about now, and it's a lot more 00:58:17.805 --> 00:58:24.615 accepting, but I think a lot of it through social media and that side of things, it's 00:58:24.675 --> 00:58:34.480 almost Glorified it so a lot of kids in particular and youth think that that is 00:58:34.480 --> 00:58:37.880 what they're going through when they're really just kids And they just need to 00:58:37.880 --> 00:58:42.640 go outside more or whatever like you all kids have energy not all kids have ADD 00:58:42.640 --> 00:58:46.700 and ADHD Well, all kids have cell phones. 00:58:46.700 --> 00:58:52.820 Well, that's why like That's like but I think that's a big part of it. 00:58:52.890 --> 00:58:57.680 Not like There are definitely kids and people who have ADD, ADHD, 00:58:57.700 --> 00:58:59.170 anxiety, all of these things. 00:58:59.200 --> 00:59:05.480 Again, I'm not saying anyone doesn't, but I think a big part of the fact 00:59:05.480 --> 00:59:12.290 that it's so popular to talk about, but also not, but it's not in certain 00:59:12.290 --> 00:59:18.465 realms and in certain context, but When it comes to youth and schools and 00:59:18.465 --> 00:59:23.515 things, nowadays in social media, it's, yeah, become like almost pop culture 00:59:23.515 --> 00:59:25.435 to talk about how I have anxiety. 00:59:25.815 --> 00:59:29.435 I have two stepdaughters, and I watch some of their videos that they're 00:59:29.455 --> 00:59:32.715 watching on YouTube and stuff, and they're watching Kids Channel YouTube. 00:59:33.565 --> 00:59:37.775 And there's literally skits about, like, a kid having anxiety, but 00:59:37.975 --> 00:59:39.675 it's been made into a comedy. 00:59:39.765 --> 00:59:39.865 Yeah. 00:59:40.165 --> 00:59:43.565 So then the kid comes back and she's like, I'm so depressed. 00:59:43.585 --> 00:59:47.155 Like, she's a nine year old, but this was going on before that. 00:59:47.165 --> 00:59:49.155 Like, the past three years. 00:59:49.745 --> 00:59:51.025 She's, she'll just quote it. 00:59:51.405 --> 00:59:52.295 Like, no, you're not. 00:59:52.505 --> 00:59:54.835 But she'll act like what she saw because she's a kid. 00:59:54.855 --> 00:59:55.115 Sure. 00:59:55.550 --> 00:59:58.340 That's how we became resilient because we acted like what we saw, 00:59:58.350 --> 01:00:02.000 which was our hardworking parents who were outdoors and we were forced to 01:00:02.000 --> 01:00:04.400 go outdoors with them and work too. 01:00:04.520 --> 01:00:04.910 Travis Bader: That's right. 01:00:06.110 --> 01:00:10.110 Jillian Brown: That's, that's such a huge part of it, I think, as well as the whole 01:00:10.420 --> 01:00:19.115 fact that because of it's so talked about and so popular, the Pharmacare and doctors 01:00:19.145 --> 01:00:21.705 can really utilize that to make money. 01:00:21.765 --> 01:00:23.815 Travis Bader: Well, if you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail, right? 01:00:23.995 --> 01:00:29.165 And if, if, okay, so neurodivergent, we're going to call everyone neurodivergent now. 01:00:29.175 --> 01:00:32.035 What level of the spectrum are you neurodivergent on? 01:00:32.035 --> 01:00:37.435 And well, maybe we're normal and maybe this is a normal, natural 01:00:37.435 --> 01:00:42.035 psychophysiological response to stressors that we've encountered based 01:00:42.035 --> 01:00:46.195 on our life experience and based on our, our social structure because. 01:00:46.490 --> 01:00:52.110 You and I can experience the exact same thing and mentally experience 01:00:52.110 --> 01:00:54.990 it in two very different ways based on our, on our background. 01:00:54.990 --> 01:00:57.500 And for, it was like, when we were talking about STAS, right? 01:00:57.840 --> 01:01:02.090 It's like STAS, you know, PTSD, like, you know, flashbacks, dreams, 01:01:02.090 --> 01:01:05.060 memories, recurring thoughts, like, is that something you have? 01:01:05.060 --> 01:01:06.050 He's like, oh yeah. 01:01:08.035 --> 01:01:11.735 Not really like in a, like I'm upset about it, but more like a nostalgic way. 01:01:11.735 --> 01:01:14.825 Like, man, it'd be great to be back there with the lads out there 01:01:14.825 --> 01:01:16.635 and meant we're doing a good job. 01:01:16.635 --> 01:01:18.695 And so he keeps coming back to his mind. 01:01:18.715 --> 01:01:23.255 He's going through events, his, uh, ex British special forces 01:01:23.815 --> 01:01:28.775 events of, uh, highly kinetic encounters as he called them. 01:01:28.775 --> 01:01:29.075 Right. 01:01:29.445 --> 01:01:33.555 Um, and he looks back on it with nostalgia, like, man, 01:01:33.565 --> 01:01:34.815 I was doing a real good job. 01:01:34.815 --> 01:01:37.805 We were all cohesive as a team and other people. 01:01:37.990 --> 01:01:40.570 Based on their background and resilience and whatever it might 01:01:40.570 --> 01:01:43.540 be, might look back at that and say, Oh, that was, that was terrible. 01:01:43.550 --> 01:01:44.370 How do I get over this? 01:01:44.370 --> 01:01:48.420 I just, I keep having those memories and the sounds of the back of my head. 01:01:49.940 --> 01:01:53.180 That, that piece of resilient, and that's, you know, where you and I, I 01:01:53.180 --> 01:01:55.360 met was that talk I was asked to give. 01:01:55.410 --> 01:02:00.260 Basically I had a, about a 45, half hour at a 45 minute talk that I 01:02:00.290 --> 01:02:01.790 had to condense into 11 minutes. 01:02:03.230 --> 01:02:04.789 Jillian Brown: It happens to the best of us. 01:02:04.790 --> 01:02:05.340 I completely understand. 01:02:06.480 --> 01:02:08.150 Travis Bader: Speed through this thing as quick as I could. 01:02:08.150 --> 01:02:10.099 Actually, I threw it up on YouTube and. 01:02:10.660 --> 01:02:14.930 I wasn't going to, but, um, co workers suggested I should. 01:02:15.050 --> 01:02:15.120 Yeah. 01:02:15.840 --> 01:02:22.420 But, um, you know, talking about, uh, the resilience, uh, that the outdoors 01:02:22.420 --> 01:02:25.650 can bring and the lessons that you learn and you're mentioning like, 01:02:25.650 --> 01:02:27.900 man, I'm going to get upset here. 01:02:27.900 --> 01:02:31.210 It sounds like you're glorifying unsafe practices about rafting 01:02:31.210 --> 01:02:32.940 down rivers without a life jacket. 01:02:35.750 --> 01:02:41.860 Yeah, it, that for me has been a massive thing in my life is just pushing myself 01:02:41.880 --> 01:02:44.350 in the outdoors in whatever way I can. 01:02:44.350 --> 01:02:45.940 And that sometimes it's mountaineering. 01:02:45.950 --> 01:02:49.330 Sometimes it's just walking around Ladner where I live here, but, uh, 01:02:49.780 --> 01:02:56.480 um, it's been a huge, uh, piece of my own sort of mental health piece. 01:02:57.430 --> 01:03:00.770 For you, you've taken that and you've turned it into 01:03:00.770 --> 01:03:02.680 some pretty cool expeditions. 01:03:03.450 --> 01:03:10.860 Can you tell me, so I was into rafting and you got into kayaking and, um, paddling 01:03:10.860 --> 01:03:13.480 across the continental United States. 01:03:14.660 --> 01:03:16.530 You want to talk about that one a little bit, cause I'm curious. 01:03:16.550 --> 01:03:17.340 I want to hear more about that. 01:03:17.340 --> 01:03:21.820 I specifically didn't go far into the details of that because I 01:03:21.820 --> 01:03:22.890 wanted to hear it fresh from you. 01:03:23.010 --> 01:03:23.420 Jillian Brown: Okay. 01:03:23.510 --> 01:03:24.790 I will happily share. 01:03:25.120 --> 01:03:26.500 Um, I'll, I'll. 01:03:27.590 --> 01:03:33.800 Say something about prior to that about the Grand Canyon and before that. 01:03:33.800 --> 01:03:37.670 So this all came to light doing these expeditions after the 01:03:37.670 --> 01:03:40.490 whole homelessness and finding my tools and those sorts of things. 01:03:40.530 --> 01:03:44.560 And a big thing that I learned going through all of that was that nothing 01:03:44.560 --> 01:03:47.520 is placed in front of us that we don't have the strength to overcome. 01:03:47.840 --> 01:03:49.660 As long as we believe in ourselves enough. 01:03:50.250 --> 01:03:51.650 That's what I came to believe. 01:03:51.670 --> 01:03:51.680 I 01:03:51.680 --> 01:03:52.840 Travis Bader: 100 percent agree. 01:03:52.880 --> 01:03:56.540 Jillian Brown: And, and that encompasses believing that we can find 01:03:56.710 --> 01:04:02.170 the knowledge and the skills and the athleticism to accomplish those things. 01:04:02.710 --> 01:04:04.630 Every mountain anyone can go up. 01:04:05.025 --> 01:04:09.005 it's just that people summit those mountains by training prior to and 01:04:09.005 --> 01:04:11.835 setting their mind to it and believing that they can go up that mountain. 01:04:12.465 --> 01:04:13.395 Anyone can do that. 01:04:13.495 --> 01:04:15.475 The mountain is no different for each person. 01:04:16.225 --> 01:04:22.365 So after kind of coming to that realization, I started to say yes to 01:04:22.785 --> 01:04:28.210 almost anything that, you It fell in front of me, and it opened up this 01:04:28.210 --> 01:04:30.860 incredible world of expeditions. 01:04:31.430 --> 01:04:33.840 The Grand Canyon was not my plan. 01:04:34.220 --> 01:04:38.160 I was out on an expedition documenting killer whales and paddling with killer 01:04:38.160 --> 01:04:42.300 whales, and the guide was this gentleman, Jamie Sharpe, and he threw out this 01:04:42.450 --> 01:04:46.690 harebrained idea of taking a tandem sea kayak down the Colorado River, and 01:04:46.690 --> 01:04:47.820 I was like, that sounds super cool. 01:04:47.820 --> 01:04:51.770 I'd totally go along, and he's like, well, I have a partner already, but 01:04:51.770 --> 01:04:52.960 that's cool that you're interested. 01:04:52.990 --> 01:04:54.010 Well, a week out. 01:04:54.230 --> 01:04:59.510 He calls me and he's like, yeah, so my partner can't, is, is backing out there. 01:04:59.780 --> 01:05:00.630 They got cold feet. 01:05:01.210 --> 01:05:03.450 You expressed some interest a little while ago. 01:05:03.450 --> 01:05:04.430 Would you like to come? 01:05:04.750 --> 01:05:08.830 And I was driving down to go and paddle the ferry route at the time. 01:05:08.830 --> 01:05:10.520 So I'm like, I'm going to have to call you back, Jamie. 01:05:10.520 --> 01:05:12.140 Like I'm going and paddling right now. 01:05:12.620 --> 01:05:16.180 And as I'm putting my boat in the water, I text him back being like, I'm in. 01:05:17.110 --> 01:05:18.390 It was like half an hour later. 01:05:18.760 --> 01:05:21.810 And so that's how that one came to light. 01:05:22.110 --> 01:05:22.370 But. 01:05:22.835 --> 01:05:28.975 The same thing goes for the America one, a month out from doing this trip, um, I got 01:05:28.975 --> 01:05:35.295 a call from, from the one gentleman saying that the three other teammates had backed 01:05:35.295 --> 01:05:38.965 out and they needed somebody and they needed somebody who could document and 01:05:38.995 --> 01:05:43.625 paddle and the sponsors that everyone was already on board, like all the funding. 01:05:44.125 --> 01:05:46.735 Um, and they all trusted that I could get the job done as well. 01:05:46.745 --> 01:05:49.225 So they all backed my skills, which was incredible. 01:05:49.285 --> 01:05:54.495 Just like Jamie did with trusting me to accomplish this world first goal. 01:05:54.525 --> 01:05:57.965 He trusted that I would be Going to be the partner to be able to do that with 01:05:57.965 --> 01:06:05.135 him and so I said yes, so a month out I said yes to the original plan of 210 days 01:06:05.145 --> 01:06:11.945 with a stranger paddling across America and Ultimately I ended up solo on it. 01:06:12.055 --> 01:06:12.885 Tell me about that and 01:06:15.965 --> 01:06:22.340 Yeah after a day after a hundred days together I came to realize a few things, 01:06:22.650 --> 01:06:26.420 um, I had been lied to why those three people weren't on the trip anymore. 01:06:26.420 --> 01:06:29.850 And it was truly because they couldn't get along with that person. 01:06:30.460 --> 01:06:34.460 And essentially, there was no more room for his ego and 01:06:34.460 --> 01:06:35.690 another person in the boat. 01:06:35.950 --> 01:06:38.680 And that's why he went through a number of other people after me. 01:06:38.940 --> 01:06:43.330 But I lasted 100 days and I moved into a kayak and I was going to continue 01:06:43.330 --> 01:06:46.370 to do my job and document him and his journey and we, I was like, we'll just 01:06:46.370 --> 01:06:49.630 tell the sponsors that I'm getting a new perspective on it from a different boat. 01:06:50.510 --> 01:06:51.310 It'll be easy. 01:06:51.400 --> 01:06:55.870 And we were invited to stay at somebody's house for a night for a fresh meal, 01:06:55.880 --> 01:06:58.004 shower, and I took the guy up on that. 01:06:58.425 --> 01:07:03.175 The family up on the offer, and him and the other paddlers, there was a few 01:07:03.175 --> 01:07:08.035 other boats with us at the time, didn't, and the next day I woke up to a text 01:07:08.035 --> 01:07:12.355 message saying, um, like, basically, good luck, if you want to keep going, 01:07:12.355 --> 01:07:15.325 go on your own, I, I believe that you'll be able to do it, which was, 01:07:15.405 --> 01:07:18.145 that was nice, but, He took everything. 01:07:18.145 --> 01:07:21.395 He had all the gear, all the like, I had my basic gear. 01:07:21.395 --> 01:07:23.745 I had my like clothes and stuff and a tent. 01:07:24.115 --> 01:07:24.145 Okay. 01:07:24.185 --> 01:07:28.455 But he had all of the GPS, all the radios, all the solar panels, all the batteries. 01:07:28.735 --> 01:07:28.995 Mm. 01:07:29.045 --> 01:07:29.965 And, and left. 01:07:30.135 --> 01:07:31.885 And I didn't even have a map. 01:07:32.305 --> 01:07:36.510 Um, so I had to, you know, Ask a stranger who I had met, um, we call them river 01:07:36.520 --> 01:07:41.950 angels, um, to print out maps of the Mississippi River for me from the library 01:07:41.950 --> 01:07:45.790 and he printed them out and I kept going till Baton Rouge is actually where I 01:07:45.790 --> 01:07:49.480 ended, um, Louisiana, after 150 days. 01:07:49.490 --> 01:07:50.310 Wow. 01:07:50.360 --> 01:07:55.560 Um, so I went from Astoria, Oregon, Up the Columbia River to the Snake 01:07:55.560 --> 01:08:01.000 River, up the Snake River to Lewiston, Idaho, and from there portaged from 01:08:01.000 --> 01:08:05.510 Lewiston, Idaho over the Continental Divide, um, to Helena, Montana. 01:08:05.580 --> 01:08:07.470 But it broke my foot on the second day of that. 01:08:08.150 --> 01:08:09.070 So I actually, on the 01:08:09.070 --> 01:08:09.560 Travis Bader: portage, 01:08:09.560 --> 01:08:11.790 Jillian Brown: yes, on the portage, carrying too much 01:08:11.790 --> 01:08:11.990 Travis Bader: weight. 01:08:12.070 --> 01:08:12.360 Yep. 01:08:12.360 --> 01:08:12.709 Yeah. 01:08:12.710 --> 01:08:12.960 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 01:08:12.960 --> 01:08:13.790 Stress fracture. 01:08:13.810 --> 01:08:14.780 Fifth menopausal. 01:08:15.360 --> 01:08:16.010 Um, I don't know. 01:08:16.010 --> 01:08:17.580 I was like, I'm not going and paying money. 01:08:17.580 --> 01:08:19.270 You're going and dealing with x rays. 01:08:19.270 --> 01:08:20.050 I know what I did. 01:08:20.050 --> 01:08:23.060 I've done it before and it's very obvious. 01:08:23.120 --> 01:08:26.990 Um, and so I kept going until I couldn't get my boots on anymore, 01:08:26.990 --> 01:08:32.170 which was 16 days of, I was, had a backpack on and then I had the canoe 01:08:32.270 --> 01:08:36.550 strapped to my backpack on a cart and I was pulling it and he was walking. 01:08:37.340 --> 01:08:42.955 Um, And so I was like a little pack mule with my camera gear and everything too. 01:08:43.175 --> 01:08:43.575 Travis Bader: Wow. 01:08:43.945 --> 01:08:44.265 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 01:08:44.365 --> 01:08:44.845 How much weight? 01:08:45.725 --> 01:08:47.505 Like, well, the canoe alone's 90 pounds. 01:08:47.595 --> 01:08:52.275 And then I had my camera gears, at least 40 pounds, um, and 01:08:52.275 --> 01:08:54.335 then all the food and tents. 01:08:54.345 --> 01:08:54.915 40 pounds 01:08:54.915 --> 01:08:55.715 Travis Bader: of camera gear. 01:08:56.040 --> 01:08:56.430 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 01:08:56.490 --> 01:08:56.900 Travis Bader: Wow. 01:08:57.170 --> 01:09:01.980 Jillian Brown: That's why I trained like all the time, especially right now of 01:09:01.990 --> 01:09:04.230 trying to like get back into that scene. 01:09:04.620 --> 01:09:08.560 Um, yeah, people don't think about that when it comes to photography and 01:09:08.590 --> 01:09:11.810 outdoor photography, like adventure photography, they're all praising the 01:09:11.820 --> 01:09:14.770 athlete and they're giving sponsorships to the athlete and the athlete gear. 01:09:14.770 --> 01:09:16.630 Well, who's capturing the photos of the athlete? 01:09:16.640 --> 01:09:19.630 Cause somebody's up there with them doing that for the most part. 01:09:19.670 --> 01:09:19.930 Yes. 01:09:19.930 --> 01:09:23.170 There are people who set up their own GoPros and stuff, but for 01:09:23.170 --> 01:09:25.840 the most part, I don't There's a photographer there with all the same 01:09:25.850 --> 01:09:28.070 Travis Bader: gear, plus 40 pounds of camera gear. 01:09:28.080 --> 01:09:28.870 Jillian Brown: Exactly. 01:09:28.870 --> 01:09:32.300 The photographer, but also the photographer has to be able to 01:09:32.300 --> 01:09:36.400 run ahead and get photos, fall behind and then catch back up. 01:09:36.430 --> 01:09:36.680 Travis Bader: Yep. 01:09:37.270 --> 01:09:38.340 Jillian Brown: People don't think about those things. 01:09:38.340 --> 01:09:39.590 Yeah, yeah. 01:09:39.670 --> 01:09:40.210 People don't think about those things. 01:09:40.220 --> 01:09:41.410 Travis Bader: I think about those things. 01:09:41.410 --> 01:09:41.730 Yeah. 01:09:41.800 --> 01:09:45.580 Grylls go out and do his stuff, like, but the cameraman's right 01:09:45.580 --> 01:09:46.830 beside him doing the same thing. 01:09:46.940 --> 01:09:47.650 Jillian Brown: Exactly. 01:09:47.660 --> 01:09:47.860 It's like 01:09:47.860 --> 01:09:49.920 Travis Bader: that clip of the guy running down the side of the track 01:09:49.920 --> 01:09:51.650 field in these, you see that one? 01:09:51.830 --> 01:09:51.850 Yeah. 01:09:52.400 --> 01:09:55.910 And he's got this massive camera on his shoulder and he's going faster than the 01:09:55.910 --> 01:09:57.400 guys are coming up to the finish line. 01:09:57.400 --> 01:10:00.480 That was, you know, that's a guy you should be praising right there. 01:10:00.500 --> 01:10:01.050 Jillian Brown: Right? 01:10:01.120 --> 01:10:01.630 Yes. 01:10:01.670 --> 01:10:04.850 It's fun that his video, that video has gone completely viral. 01:10:05.230 --> 01:10:05.250 Travis Bader: Yeah. 01:10:05.520 --> 01:10:06.000 Jillian Brown: Um. 01:10:06.450 --> 01:10:11.830 So from Helena, Montana, um, I got on the Miss, the Missouri River, and 01:10:11.830 --> 01:10:15.050 the Missouri River to the Mississippi River, and then the Mississippi 01:10:15.050 --> 01:10:19.430 River down to Baton Rouge, Louisiana, which is where I ended up finishing. 01:10:19.440 --> 01:10:22.690 The goal was, um, Miami, Florida, and taking the intercoastal 01:10:22.690 --> 01:10:24.590 waterway along the Gulf of Mexico. 01:10:25.070 --> 01:10:29.400 But because I didn't have radios, GPS, those sorts of things, 01:10:29.450 --> 01:10:35.120 um, I didn't feel safe, is the hardest thing to, to know when to. 01:10:35.895 --> 01:10:38.555 You feel like it's quitting, but when to stop. 01:10:39.295 --> 01:10:41.695 And you can always go back at, like I've said about Mount, the 01:10:41.695 --> 01:10:43.125 mountains there for anyone to climb. 01:10:43.125 --> 01:10:44.855 Well, that river Gulf Mexico is there. 01:10:44.855 --> 01:10:49.255 I can go back when I feel safe, when I have the knowledge and do 01:10:49.255 --> 01:10:52.975 it properly and do it in a way that I'm going to enjoy it as well. 01:10:53.055 --> 01:10:53.945 Travis Bader: That is a hard thing. 01:10:54.165 --> 01:10:56.725 Am I quitting or am I making a pragmatic decision? 01:10:56.755 --> 01:10:58.585 Jillian Brown: I, I vanished off social media. 01:10:58.680 --> 01:11:04.060 When the, I had so many people following like sponsors, partners, magazines, all 01:11:04.060 --> 01:11:05.880 of these things that I was working with. 01:11:06.540 --> 01:11:08.950 And I felt like I was letting everyone down, 01:11:09.450 --> 01:11:09.780 Travis Bader: calling it 01:11:09.780 --> 01:11:10.360 Jillian Brown: quits there. 01:11:10.860 --> 01:11:14.900 And um, I hadn't really, I hadn't shared what had gone on either. 01:11:14.950 --> 01:11:18.250 People saw that I was all of a sudden in a kayak and by myself. 01:11:19.110 --> 01:11:21.650 So I had all of that weight on me too. 01:11:21.900 --> 01:11:29.090 Um, and, um, and I'm not one to like to speak negatively about another person. 01:11:29.815 --> 01:11:33.065 In a way, like, you'll hear me say that I was in an abusive relationship, 01:11:33.075 --> 01:11:36.275 and if you knew me, you could know which person, who that was. 01:11:36.595 --> 01:11:39.785 But I'm not gonna go saying the person's first and last name or anything and 01:11:39.795 --> 01:11:41.055 being like, this is where they live. 01:11:41.465 --> 01:11:45.260 And, and, like, Smiting their character in some way because 01:11:45.260 --> 01:11:46.380 maybe that person changed. 01:11:46.460 --> 01:11:50.070 Maybe it was just me I don't know, but everybody also has their own 01:11:50.070 --> 01:11:53.060 story of events that have gone on too 01:11:53.310 --> 01:11:55.240 Travis Bader: Yeah, what and what value does it bring you to go 01:11:55.240 --> 01:11:56.540 over that over and over again? 01:11:56.550 --> 01:11:58.760 Jillian Brown: Well, yeah, it doesn't doesn't make me any a 01:11:58.760 --> 01:12:01.610 better person by saying negative things about another person. 01:12:01.610 --> 01:12:09.775 Yeah but I, at that time, it was really negatively impacting me to the point I was 01:12:09.775 --> 01:12:14.245 actually started doing my exercise routine again while I'm paddling across America. 01:12:14.255 --> 01:12:18.715 I was doing squats and sit ups and push ups every day because I had 01:12:18.715 --> 01:12:22.275 built up that energy and just paddling and being out in nature wasn't, 01:12:22.535 --> 01:12:23.895 wasn't doing it for me anymore. 01:12:23.915 --> 01:12:26.965 I was in such a bad head space at that point that I tried to 01:12:26.965 --> 01:12:28.775 use my tools some more to help. 01:12:28.925 --> 01:12:30.565 Travis Bader: Did that suicidal ideation return? 01:12:30.565 --> 01:12:30.804 Nope. 01:12:30.985 --> 01:12:31.255 Jillian Brown: Nope. 01:12:31.275 --> 01:12:32.995 The only time I've ever had that. 01:12:33.220 --> 01:12:36.580 experience was that that one time there. 01:12:36.710 --> 01:12:41.050 And, uh, yeah, when I, I've never ever had any thoughts like that. 01:12:41.310 --> 01:12:46.090 That's why it was so scary and why I did something that I was so, that was so not 01:12:46.090 --> 01:12:48.350 me to go and talk to somebody about it. 01:12:48.760 --> 01:12:53.160 Um, Because I've never, ever experienced a feeling like that 01:12:53.160 --> 01:12:54.490 or a thought like that before. 01:12:54.560 --> 01:12:59.640 Travis Bader: So if the, um, negative thoughts are returning to you, despite 01:12:59.640 --> 01:13:04.750 being out in nature, despite being physically exerting yourself, kayaking, 01:13:04.760 --> 01:13:08.550 canoeing, uh, and you find yourself in a situation where you got to start 01:13:08.600 --> 01:13:13.865 getting back into your exercise regime, um, It would suggest to me that maybe 01:13:13.875 --> 01:13:17.055 exercise isn't the ultimate answer, and there's another piece of the puzzle 01:13:17.055 --> 01:13:18.545 in there that needs to be addressed. 01:13:18.685 --> 01:13:23.055 Jillian Brown: Well, there's always, like, the best thing you can do What anyone 01:13:23.055 --> 01:13:29.525 can do is learn as many tools to help yourself as possible, like go into like, 01:13:29.605 --> 01:13:33.345 it would be like going into Home Depot and learning as many tools as possible 01:13:33.345 --> 01:13:34.845 because you want to build your own home. 01:13:35.275 --> 01:13:38.535 If you only go in and learn how to use the hammer, good luck building that home, 01:13:38.535 --> 01:13:39.775 that's going to be really difficult. 01:13:40.195 --> 01:13:44.075 But if you learn how to use as many tools as possible, then you may 01:13:44.075 --> 01:13:47.165 only need the hammer, but at some point you're going to need a saw. 01:13:47.750 --> 01:13:49.080 So you go back and get the saw. 01:13:49.160 --> 01:13:50.150 You know how to use it. 01:13:50.270 --> 01:13:51.110 It's in your tool belt. 01:13:51.610 --> 01:13:52.270 You're going to use it. 01:13:52.800 --> 01:13:57.910 And at that time, I knew, okay, well, I'm not doing fitness in that way, like 01:13:57.910 --> 01:14:00.380 a fitness routine that's like regimented. 01:14:00.870 --> 01:14:02.450 I can bring that tool back in. 01:14:02.540 --> 01:14:04.980 That's an easy one for me to start incorporating again. 01:14:05.640 --> 01:14:06.680 I stopped writing. 01:14:08.085 --> 01:14:12.495 At that time, like, writing for me is a big thing that's, again, people perceive 01:14:12.495 --> 01:14:16.715 social media for everyone is, is that it's to show off and it's for everyone else. 01:14:16.715 --> 01:14:20.305 Well, my social media, my writing, my photos, I do that for me. 01:14:20.575 --> 01:14:24.015 I write every single morning and I write about a photo or a 01:14:24.015 --> 01:14:25.985 story or whatever I'm feeling. 01:14:25.985 --> 01:14:28.455 And that's what I post. 01:14:28.545 --> 01:14:30.425 That's my, like, journaling that day. 01:14:31.065 --> 01:14:31.565 Travis Bader: Very cool. 01:14:31.605 --> 01:14:32.385 Jillian Brown: And, um. 01:14:32.535 --> 01:14:33.865 Travis Bader: And that's a routine though, too. 01:14:34.095 --> 01:14:35.745 Jillian Brown: Yeah, it's one of my tools. 01:14:35.975 --> 01:14:36.155 Travis Bader: Yes. 01:14:36.495 --> 01:14:39.925 Jillian Brown: Um, I don't like to, to write out, like, I went 01:14:39.925 --> 01:14:42.955 through this, and like, the, like, abuse and that's what's on my mind. 01:14:42.995 --> 01:14:46.545 I don't like to write that out, but I'll write out something 01:14:46.545 --> 01:14:48.955 about a photo or a story or, um. 01:14:48.955 --> 01:14:48.990 Yeah. 01:14:48.990 --> 01:14:49.024 Yeah. 01:14:49.345 --> 01:14:53.625 Yeah, something, if I'm struggling, I'll look into a word that's on my 01:14:53.625 --> 01:14:58.405 mind, like perseverance, and I'll write about perseverance in a way 01:14:58.405 --> 01:15:00.005 that relates to a photo in some way. 01:15:00.445 --> 01:15:05.195 But while I was out there, I stopped journaling, and I couldn't 01:15:05.445 --> 01:15:07.135 get myself to go back to it. 01:15:07.675 --> 01:15:08.125 Um. 01:15:08.470 --> 01:15:12.030 So that might have been something if I had started journaling again, 01:15:12.310 --> 01:15:16.030 maybe that would have helped, but there was a lot of factors. 01:15:16.030 --> 01:15:18.220 I had poison oak all over. 01:15:18.220 --> 01:15:19.640 I had bug bites all over. 01:15:19.770 --> 01:15:20.720 Hurricane Michael. 01:15:21.250 --> 01:15:25.320 Hit five days after I stopped so there was also that in the back of my mind 01:15:25.330 --> 01:15:29.120 like there was a few factors that were Weighing on it that weren't making 01:15:29.120 --> 01:15:32.390 the situation better And then also 01:15:32.480 --> 01:15:33.030 Travis Bader: as it should 01:15:33.100 --> 01:15:36.430 Jillian Brown: ultimately there are things like family and friends 01:15:36.450 --> 01:15:42.365 and home some like Places you know, um, that help your mental health. 01:15:42.375 --> 01:15:46.425 That being out on an expedition like that, you just can't overcome 01:15:46.425 --> 01:15:47.475 that when you're out there. 01:15:47.475 --> 01:15:51.805 And you have to look at it and realize, like, I'm not, this is, 01:15:52.190 --> 01:15:53.910 This is not good for me anymore. 01:15:54.000 --> 01:15:54.690 Mm hmm. 01:15:54.880 --> 01:15:57.290 There's going to be points where you're out on an expedition where you, uh, 01:15:57.350 --> 01:16:01.470 eventually you get injured and you have to press the, the emergency button. 01:16:01.480 --> 01:16:02.730 There's no way around it. 01:16:02.730 --> 01:16:03.490 You have to. 01:16:03.670 --> 01:16:03.970 Travis Bader: Mm hmm. 01:16:03.980 --> 01:16:04.170 You've 01:16:04.170 --> 01:16:04.890 Jillian Brown: broken your leg. 01:16:04.890 --> 01:16:06.130 You have to press the button. 01:16:06.670 --> 01:16:11.810 Sometimes you're just at that point mentally where you have to go home. 01:16:12.630 --> 01:16:13.160 Travis Bader: You know what? 01:16:13.250 --> 01:16:18.080 One of the things that really kind of Duck with me, I did a podcast with 01:16:18.080 --> 01:16:23.670 the, um, one of the co founders of an app called metal, um, which is British 01:16:23.700 --> 01:16:28.370 term metal, M E T T L E for like mentally strong, spiritually strong. 01:16:28.370 --> 01:16:34.030 So, uh, he, Neil Smith and Bear Grylls got together and put this app together and, 01:16:34.030 --> 01:16:40.265 uh, Talks about mindfulness and meditation and a bunch of different tools, just 01:16:40.265 --> 01:16:46.995 in little bits as specifically designed for men's mental fitness and talking 01:16:46.995 --> 01:16:53.635 about, um, having somebody to, to talk to friends and family, like you say. 01:16:54.580 --> 01:16:57.720 And the comments that came up afterwards, a number of people that 01:16:57.720 --> 01:16:59.220 would say, I don't have anyone to talk. 01:16:59.750 --> 01:17:02.220 I don't have any friends that I can confide this kind of like, 01:17:02.220 --> 01:17:03.210 I'll hang around with people. 01:17:03.210 --> 01:17:04.990 There's, who can I talk to about this? 01:17:05.030 --> 01:17:05.290 Right. 01:17:06.230 --> 01:17:11.720 Over and over and over again, which is, um, which is interesting. 01:17:11.800 --> 01:17:12.360 I thought. 01:17:13.130 --> 01:17:13.780 Jillian Brown: You know what? 01:17:14.470 --> 01:17:18.060 When it comes to that, on that trip, I mentioned that I 01:17:18.070 --> 01:17:20.220 went silent on social media. 01:17:20.220 --> 01:17:24.180 I was posting every day, as long as I had service, like, All of it. 01:17:24.180 --> 01:17:26.000 And I'm actually redoing that right now. 01:17:26.000 --> 01:17:28.690 I've never shared all my journal entries and all the photos 01:17:28.710 --> 01:17:29.810 and I just started again. 01:17:30.390 --> 01:17:32.360 And um, because I never touched upon it. 01:17:32.680 --> 01:17:40.800 And um, when I went silent, the amount of comments and messages that I got from 01:17:40.800 --> 01:17:43.350 complete strangers was overwhelming. 01:17:43.390 --> 01:17:45.840 And I was so scared. 01:17:45.850 --> 01:17:49.050 Like I said, that people would judge me. 01:17:49.050 --> 01:17:50.710 People would think I was a failure. 01:17:50.710 --> 01:17:52.730 Like I was looking all negative. 01:17:52.770 --> 01:17:53.230 Mhmm. 01:17:54.005 --> 01:17:56.655 And every single message was, are you okay? 01:17:56.655 --> 01:17:57.125 Where are you? 01:17:57.125 --> 01:17:58.305 Oh, we miss your stories. 01:17:58.305 --> 01:17:59.275 I hope you're okay. 01:17:59.375 --> 01:18:00.245 Everything like that. 01:18:00.255 --> 01:18:01.215 Everything under the sun. 01:18:01.725 --> 01:18:04.495 And that was really big in helping me. 01:18:04.545 --> 01:18:09.865 I started to, just writing them saying, yeah, I'm okay, actually really helped. 01:18:09.945 --> 01:18:15.185 But seeing how much support it was, and then when I did ultimately share that 01:18:15.185 --> 01:18:20.335 I had called it quits, just saying, or like stopped there, I everyone. 01:18:20.335 --> 01:18:22.985 It was, what you achieved is incredible. 01:18:23.365 --> 01:18:24.785 And I hadn't looked at it that way. 01:18:24.785 --> 01:18:27.285 I was like, I didn't achieve what I set out to. 01:18:27.725 --> 01:18:29.405 They're like, look at what you did do though. 01:18:30.105 --> 01:18:31.825 That was all I was ever met with. 01:18:31.825 --> 01:18:34.575 Sponsors, everybody, like family. 01:18:34.865 --> 01:18:35.965 It was incredible. 01:18:36.245 --> 01:18:39.375 Um, to the point that I had a follower. 01:18:40.085 --> 01:18:43.255 This is, this is what shocks me because I don't think my life's 01:18:43.255 --> 01:18:46.145 like that special or anything. 01:18:46.515 --> 01:18:52.645 And people were so devoted or are still potentially so devoted to 01:18:52.895 --> 01:18:55.165 somebody on social media or my work. 01:18:56.145 --> 01:19:01.355 A follower saw my story about how I had poison oak and all these bug bites and 01:19:01.355 --> 01:19:05.465 stuff and I actually posted a video like I was sharing the good the bad everything. 01:19:06.235 --> 01:19:09.265 About an expedition the truth about an expedition. 01:19:09.275 --> 01:19:13.245 I don't want it to be glorified I want you to know that it isn't all easy. 01:19:13.245 --> 01:19:19.225 It's hard and that's part of it And I shared that this follower is a doctor 01:19:19.225 --> 01:19:21.515 and she's like you need to go to a hospital And if you can't go to a 01:19:21.805 --> 01:19:24.635 hospital, I'm sending you medication I'm like, I don't think you can do that. 01:19:24.635 --> 01:19:25.805 And she's like in America. 01:19:26.165 --> 01:19:33.815 I make the rules like She literally sent me a prescription to the closest pharmacy 01:19:33.815 --> 01:19:39.260 and And a river angel picked it up for me and brought it to me so that I would 01:19:39.270 --> 01:19:43.660 have this medication to treat these like infected wounds I had all over. 01:19:44.400 --> 01:19:46.670 Travis Bader: You've used that term a couple of times, river angels. 01:19:46.820 --> 01:19:47.250 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 01:19:47.250 --> 01:19:52.280 Travis Bader: And in the same, even though the doctor wasn't on the side of 01:19:52.280 --> 01:19:56.420 the river there with you, um, I guess they could be viewed as a river angel. 01:19:56.420 --> 01:19:59.510 These people who are writing in saying, are you okay? 01:19:59.510 --> 01:20:00.570 Like what's going on? 01:20:00.580 --> 01:20:01.970 They could be viewed in the same way. 01:20:01.980 --> 01:20:03.010 And for people who say. 01:20:03.880 --> 01:20:04.860 I don't have anybody. 01:20:04.910 --> 01:20:07.320 I can't talk about these things with anybody. 01:20:07.880 --> 01:20:13.750 Um, maybe, maybe when you said earlier that we've, anyone can have 01:20:13.760 --> 01:20:17.450 some of that mountain, we might have to choose a different route or use 01:20:17.450 --> 01:20:18.870 different tools to get up there. 01:20:19.390 --> 01:20:21.880 Maybe it takes a team of Sherpas to drag us up there, right? 01:20:21.900 --> 01:20:27.100 But we have the ability to have interpersonal skills or develop them 01:20:27.100 --> 01:20:30.170 to a point where we can convince some Sherpas or whatever it might be. 01:20:30.170 --> 01:20:30.500 Right. 01:20:31.390 --> 01:20:34.560 Um, maybe. 01:20:35.785 --> 01:20:38.125 These people, you don't feel they have anything there. 01:20:38.635 --> 01:20:40.945 Aren't looking at the right areas. 01:20:41.235 --> 01:20:45.425 Jillian Brown: There's the choice, choice thing, not to, again, I don't 01:20:45.425 --> 01:20:50.685 know everybody's situation, but if you're saying that there's no one for you to 01:20:50.685 --> 01:20:54.945 talk to, well, it sounds like you're also choosing not to talk to anyone. 01:20:56.185 --> 01:21:03.460 There's all you can, there's a ton of, phone call in places that you're 01:21:03.810 --> 01:21:06.300 anonymous and you can call and just talk. 01:21:07.150 --> 01:21:10.200 It can be as simple as that, if that's all you, if that's what you feel you need 01:21:10.210 --> 01:21:12.140 to do, just to get it off your chest. 01:21:12.830 --> 01:21:16.750 You can go, I've had the most incredible conversations with strangers. 01:21:16.780 --> 01:21:17.200 Mm hmm. 01:21:17.570 --> 01:21:23.540 Going, and actually, I, I was able to leave that abusive relationship, 01:21:23.630 --> 01:21:25.150 and, because of a stranger. 01:21:25.990 --> 01:21:26.160 Travis Bader: I 01:21:26.170 --> 01:21:30.400 Jillian Brown: sat down at a bar in Squamish, I was, I was living 01:21:30.400 --> 01:21:34.060 in Golden, in that relationship, in Golden, British Columbia. 01:21:34.380 --> 01:21:37.340 So it's like nine hours away from Squamish. 01:21:37.410 --> 01:21:42.970 And I was back there for work, for photography work, and I wasn't sleeping. 01:21:42.970 --> 01:21:45.690 I hadn't slept in years, essentially, at this point. 01:21:46.250 --> 01:21:51.780 So I went into a local bar, and I sat down at the bar, and this hockey puck slid 01:21:51.780 --> 01:21:57.050 across The bar towards me, like if the name on that, if he scores, then you'll 01:21:57.050 --> 01:22:01.030 win a free pint, but you probably won't because he's already scored two goals. 01:22:01.360 --> 01:22:03.060 This is the start of the conversation. 01:22:03.060 --> 01:22:06.600 It's so vivid to me and I look over and there's a younger guy sitting beside 01:22:06.600 --> 01:22:10.250 me and then another gentleman on the other side, who's the one that slid it. 01:22:10.730 --> 01:22:15.160 And I started having this conversation with them and these two guys, a 01:22:15.960 --> 01:22:18.020 gentleman and his niece that are the. 01:22:18.355 --> 01:22:18.795 that are there. 01:22:19.005 --> 01:22:21.855 They take me in like family for the time that I'm in Squamish. 01:22:21.865 --> 01:22:25.605 Like, they invite me out to go to dinners, like with them and their family. 01:22:26.225 --> 01:22:27.455 They have me over. 01:22:27.475 --> 01:22:29.685 They tell me I could stay on their couch if I want. 01:22:29.695 --> 01:22:32.205 Like, they didn't know me at all. 01:22:32.355 --> 01:22:35.645 And at that time, I didn't feel like I had anyone. 01:22:35.900 --> 01:22:38.760 Yes, my family has always been, been there for me. 01:22:38.960 --> 01:22:40.520 They live in a different part of Canada. 01:22:42.000 --> 01:22:46.040 Again, I didn't want to put, I never wanted to put stress on my family. 01:22:46.090 --> 01:22:47.180 Your choice, but yes. 01:22:47.540 --> 01:22:48.700 It was totally my choice. 01:22:48.730 --> 01:22:49.300 Exactly. 01:22:49.660 --> 01:22:52.470 Um, they always would have been there for me and been understanding 01:22:52.470 --> 01:22:55.750 and done whatever they could, but it was my choice never to 01:22:55.780 --> 01:22:57.050 involve with them or talk to them. 01:22:57.790 --> 01:23:05.110 And anyways, this one gentleman, he, he stayed in touch with me and, 01:23:05.110 --> 01:23:09.510 um, and, on my drive back to Golden. 01:23:10.390 --> 01:23:15.410 I, I would get in trouble for any, anything on my phone. 01:23:15.420 --> 01:23:20.480 My phone was always searched and I had phone calls and texts from clients like 01:23:20.490 --> 01:23:23.030 that were like just a phone number. 01:23:23.030 --> 01:23:25.110 There was no name and it would be a phone number and it would say 01:23:25.110 --> 01:23:28.300 like, Oh, I'm running five minutes late or where are we meeting? 01:23:28.790 --> 01:23:31.460 And I looked at it like, well, I'm going to get in trouble. 01:23:32.275 --> 01:23:35.775 For this, even if it's obviously, it's a client, I'm gonna get in trouble for this, 01:23:36.385 --> 01:23:39.275 but I can't just delete all this because then it's gonna look, then I'm gonna get 01:23:39.275 --> 01:23:41.055 in trouble for this things being deleted. 01:23:41.665 --> 01:23:48.275 So I'm looking at my phone and pulled over on the side of the road and the first 01:23:49.365 --> 01:23:54.545 name that came up was this gentleman on my phone for a text conversation and I 01:23:54.545 --> 01:23:57.945 clicked it and I called him and pretty much without saying anything, he figured 01:23:57.945 --> 01:24:04.270 out what was going on And he, I left a week later, that relationship, and that 01:24:04.270 --> 01:24:10.300 gentleman answered the phone every single time I called, and texted me, and he 01:24:10.410 --> 01:24:13.430 set up a like, escape plan, essentially. 01:24:13.700 --> 01:24:16.950 He had done some work over in Afghanistan with kids. 01:24:16.990 --> 01:24:17.350 Hmm. 01:24:17.350 --> 01:24:17.999 And. 01:24:18.420 --> 01:24:22.520 In doing that, he had to go through some safety procedures of escape plans 01:24:22.520 --> 01:24:27.920 and things like that, um, and so he kind of went through that process with 01:24:27.920 --> 01:24:32.890 me, and he knew people in the area, so he actually contacted people and said 01:24:32.890 --> 01:24:37.154 I could go stay there, things like that, um, but he was there for me. 01:24:37.595 --> 01:24:40.175 the whole time, this stranger that didn't know me at all. 01:24:40.815 --> 01:24:44.015 Um, and I always say that he saved my life. 01:24:44.015 --> 01:24:45.535 And he's always like, no, you save your own. 01:24:45.545 --> 01:24:48.535 You chose, I didn't go and drag you out of that situation. 01:24:48.545 --> 01:24:51.495 You chose to, for one, call me and talk to me. 01:24:52.005 --> 01:24:53.305 But you chose to leave. 01:24:54.205 --> 01:24:56.825 And he was the first person I saw after I left. 01:24:56.885 --> 01:24:57.205 Really? 01:24:57.785 --> 01:24:59.535 Yeah, he was over at his best friend's place. 01:24:59.535 --> 01:25:02.255 And he's like, just come here and gave me a big hug. 01:25:02.255 --> 01:25:03.595 And he said, I'm so proud of you. 01:25:04.265 --> 01:25:05.545 I'll never forget that. 01:25:05.765 --> 01:25:06.275 Wow. 01:25:06.315 --> 01:25:06.665 Yeah. 01:25:06.705 --> 01:25:08.025 And he's still a good friend. 01:25:08.255 --> 01:25:08.275 Yeah. 01:25:08.375 --> 01:25:13.715 Um, but yeah, like just the fact that a stranger kind of acknowledged my existence 01:25:13.715 --> 01:25:16.095 at all, I attribute to saving my life. 01:25:16.115 --> 01:25:19.815 And I, that's why I will always invite conversations to you. 01:25:19.815 --> 01:25:24.795 And if I see somebody not doing so great at a bar and people 01:25:24.795 --> 01:25:26.475 are like, well, they're just, they've been drinking all day. 01:25:27.205 --> 01:25:27.825 Is that really? 01:25:27.835 --> 01:25:28.395 Maybe a reason why. 01:25:28.515 --> 01:25:29.335 Is that really it? 01:25:30.055 --> 01:25:33.005 And I've gone and like asked, eh, is it like, you okay? 01:25:33.005 --> 01:25:34.085 They're sitting by themselves. 01:25:34.095 --> 01:25:34.115 Yeah. 01:25:34.345 --> 01:25:37.515 And I've had random people start crying and we've gone outside and 01:25:37.515 --> 01:25:41.885 sat on a park bench and like share their, what they've gone through. 01:25:42.015 --> 01:25:44.795 Like, yeah, you just needed somebody to be able to cry to you. 01:25:44.815 --> 01:25:45.855 Like you just needed that. 01:25:45.855 --> 01:25:46.705 I didn't do anything. 01:25:46.705 --> 01:25:47.765 I don't even know your name. 01:25:48.625 --> 01:25:52.165 But if, if it can go both ways where we can all be that. 01:25:52.730 --> 01:25:58.190 Willing to just listen to somebody, but be that vulnerable to share with anyone. 01:25:58.500 --> 01:25:58.920 Travis Bader: I like that. 01:25:58.920 --> 01:26:00.480 We really should normalize. 01:26:00.660 --> 01:26:01.500 Are you okay? 01:26:02.230 --> 01:26:04.350 I mean, not to the point where you're like, are you okay? 01:26:04.400 --> 01:26:04.830 Are you okay? 01:26:05.020 --> 01:26:05.600 Are you okay? 01:26:05.900 --> 01:26:07.060 Come on, give me a break. 01:26:07.060 --> 01:26:07.360 Right. 01:26:07.820 --> 01:26:12.680 But, uh, being open and at least cause you know, you ask a guy, are you okay? 01:26:12.750 --> 01:26:13.310 Oh yeah, yeah. 01:26:13.380 --> 01:26:13.730 Yeah, no. 01:26:14.800 --> 01:26:16.580 And it's always going to be the answer, right? 01:26:16.970 --> 01:26:17.510 Especially in Canada. 01:26:17.510 --> 01:26:17.730 Yeah. 01:26:17.730 --> 01:26:17.980 No. 01:26:18.380 --> 01:26:19.060 What does that mean? 01:26:19.060 --> 01:26:23.530 Um, normalize. 01:26:23.530 --> 01:26:24.110 Are you okay? 01:26:24.150 --> 01:26:24.960 And as well. 01:26:25.155 --> 01:26:28.595 Understand that no matter what you're going through, there's going to be other 01:26:28.595 --> 01:26:31.405 people out there who might be able to offer a different perspective on it. 01:26:31.405 --> 01:26:33.015 So maybe. 01:26:33.470 --> 01:26:36.530 Maybe you talk to somebody and they totally brush you off. 01:26:36.570 --> 01:26:40.170 Maybe the next person you talk to, and they're the, uh, they've got the 01:26:40.170 --> 01:26:42.900 perspective that's going to work for you, whether that's a professional 01:26:42.900 --> 01:26:44.260 or somebody you meet at the bar. 01:26:46.960 --> 01:26:48.600 Is there anything else we should be chatting about? 01:26:48.600 --> 01:26:50.770 We've chatted about a whole bunch of different things on here. 01:26:50.790 --> 01:26:51.850 What's your next trip? 01:26:51.880 --> 01:26:53.459 Do you have another, an adventure lined up? 01:26:53.620 --> 01:26:57.380 Jillian Brown: Um, well I have a, uh, I have an expedition that we're working 01:26:57.380 --> 01:27:02.570 on funding for that's down in the United States again, um, that's a paddling 01:27:02.570 --> 01:27:07.890 expedition, um, but the main concept, actually there's two concepts towards it. 01:27:07.890 --> 01:27:11.670 We're making a documentary, um, and it's about the importance of clean 01:27:11.670 --> 01:27:16.360 waterways, and we'll be paddling this river system that has the biggest 01:27:16.360 --> 01:27:18.679 drainage, um, for, for people. 01:27:19.970 --> 01:27:25.390 northeast United States, um, from Fort Wayne, Indiana to Lake Erie. 01:27:25.810 --> 01:27:30.980 So it's like 28 counties drain into the, the Maumee River. 01:27:31.210 --> 01:27:36.660 Um, so we'll be paddling that and documenting the ecology, the ecosystems. 01:27:36.670 --> 01:27:40.400 We'll be doing some education and water sampling along the way, but a 01:27:40.400 --> 01:27:46.195 big part of, My portion of it, and what I'll be sharing, is the importance of 01:27:46.195 --> 01:27:52.535 clean waterways and nature, clean, um, ecosystems for us physically and mentally. 01:27:52.905 --> 01:27:53.535 Mmm. 01:27:53.595 --> 01:27:54.095 Um. 01:27:54.675 --> 01:27:55.444 People are talking about that. 01:27:55.445 --> 01:27:58.315 And having, yeah, having those, those safe spaces to go and yeah. 01:27:58.570 --> 01:28:00.230 Wash your face in some clean water. 01:28:00.480 --> 01:28:03.330 I definitely, this morning, walked to certain, a certain 01:28:03.330 --> 01:28:05.330 spot around here to wash my face. 01:28:05.950 --> 01:28:09.740 Because we're right beside Vancouver and we're in Delta and 01:28:09.740 --> 01:28:11.070 Richmond and all of that area. 01:28:11.070 --> 01:28:13.740 So, I wasn't about to use certain water to wash my face. 01:28:14.580 --> 01:28:16.350 But I did find some clean ocean water. 01:28:16.370 --> 01:28:17.870 So, I felt that was acceptable. 01:28:17.870 --> 01:28:19.800 So, for me, that was really important. 01:28:19.890 --> 01:28:20.190 And. 01:28:20.750 --> 01:28:23.490 Yeah, and that brings clean air to 01:28:23.690 --> 01:28:24.120 Travis Bader: mm hmm 01:28:24.210 --> 01:28:27.660 Jillian Brown: less polluted air, which is of course gonna affect us physically and 01:28:27.720 --> 01:28:31.320 mentally Anyways, that's on the horizon. 01:28:31.560 --> 01:28:33.630 We're still trying to work on some funding for it. 01:28:33.820 --> 01:28:34.500 How do you get funding 01:28:34.500 --> 01:28:35.450 Travis Bader: for something like this? 01:28:36.760 --> 01:28:38.365 Jillian Brown: There's A lot of ways. 01:28:38.365 --> 01:28:41.115 So we already, we have PBS Ohio on board. 01:28:41.205 --> 01:28:44.205 Um, so they were helping, they've helped us write grants. 01:28:44.205 --> 01:28:46.265 So there's grant opportunities. 01:28:46.275 --> 01:28:47.625 So you can apply for those. 01:28:47.975 --> 01:28:53.015 And there's government grants or there's specific platforms like the Explorers 01:28:53.015 --> 01:28:57.455 Club, um, um, Or the Royal Canadian Geographic Society, things like that. 01:28:57.465 --> 01:28:57.475 A 01:28:57.485 --> 01:29:00.055 Travis Bader: friend of mine just became a member of the Explorers Club. 01:29:00.435 --> 01:29:02.695 I just, I just learned about that a couple of days ago. 01:29:02.695 --> 01:29:03.335 That's awesome. 01:29:03.835 --> 01:29:04.725 Florian Wagner. 01:29:04.725 --> 01:29:09.535 He's in New York, cause I guess they had their induction for new, 01:29:09.625 --> 01:29:12.555 so I, I'm just learning about what this Explorers Club is. 01:29:12.565 --> 01:29:13.485 Jillian Brown: Super cool. 01:29:13.605 --> 01:29:13.885 Yeah. 01:29:13.915 --> 01:29:16.235 To get into them, you have to be invited. 01:29:16.245 --> 01:29:22.575 Both the Royal Canadian Geographic Society and the Explorers Club, uh, um, a member 01:29:22.585 --> 01:29:27.155 of the Explorers Club has to have invited you to be able, you can't just sign up. 01:29:27.735 --> 01:29:29.755 Um, but, but there's things like that. 01:29:29.755 --> 01:29:32.845 And then there's, of course, like, Clean Waters Org, like. 01:29:33.160 --> 01:29:37.640 organization, um, that offer grants and MEC offers grants. 01:29:37.640 --> 01:29:43.490 But then you can get sponsorships too, um, which are just a different form of grant, 01:29:43.620 --> 01:29:46.320 kind of, is an easy way to, to put in. 01:29:46.330 --> 01:29:48.320 You can get investors and things as well. 01:29:48.500 --> 01:29:49.310 To expeditions. 01:29:49.320 --> 01:29:52.250 It's really it's that's the work. 01:29:52.550 --> 01:29:52.760 Yeah. 01:29:52.790 --> 01:29:56.610 Like people look at the amount of comments that you get as I'm sure 01:29:56.610 --> 01:29:59.960 you get these two through your social media is I love your life. 01:29:59.960 --> 01:30:00.980 I wish I had your life. 01:30:01.610 --> 01:30:04.400 And I'm like, this is like 10 percent of my life. 01:30:05.020 --> 01:30:06.630 There's like, yeah, I like it. 01:30:06.630 --> 01:30:11.520 But 90 like 90 percent of what I do is sitting in front of a computer. 01:30:12.310 --> 01:30:16.360 Or going around and pitching myself, essentially, which I'm terrible at 01:30:16.360 --> 01:30:19.180 doing, but trying to get funding. 01:30:19.360 --> 01:30:21.600 And that's, that's such hard work. 01:30:21.610 --> 01:30:23.130 It's so frustrating, too. 01:30:23.430 --> 01:30:25.880 Because you're like, this idea is so amazing, this project is so 01:30:25.880 --> 01:30:27.940 important, but nobody believes in it. 01:30:28.860 --> 01:30:30.840 Or maybe they do, but why won't they help? 01:30:30.840 --> 01:30:32.890 Like, yeah, it's that. 01:30:32.920 --> 01:30:34.170 That's, that's the next part. 01:30:34.505 --> 01:30:36.405 Kind of big expedition thing. 01:30:36.465 --> 01:30:41.365 I'm also doing a paddling race in the Amazon next year with, um, a friend of 01:30:41.365 --> 01:30:45.305 mine, um, Canadian female team doing it. 01:30:45.345 --> 01:30:46.425 Yeah, that'll be fun. 01:30:46.795 --> 01:30:51.995 Um, so right now this year it'll be, unless anyone hears me on here, sees me 01:30:51.995 --> 01:30:56.355 on here and hires me for some gigs for photography or writing or documentation. 01:30:56.355 --> 01:30:57.705 I'm totally open to it. 01:30:57.935 --> 01:30:58.805 Travis Bader: We'll put a link in the bio. 01:30:59.935 --> 01:31:00.255 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 01:31:00.455 --> 01:31:02.975 Um, it'll be the standard summer. 01:31:02.975 --> 01:31:06.535 We, we do our best to go out to our family cottage where I grew up, um, 01:31:06.555 --> 01:31:11.025 in Northwestern Ontario and we'll get to do lots of time outdoors 01:31:11.065 --> 01:31:14.715 and paddling and seeing turtles and frogs and all the wildlife. 01:31:15.135 --> 01:31:15.605 Travis Bader: I love it. 01:31:15.825 --> 01:31:16.105 Jillian Brown: Yeah. 01:31:16.545 --> 01:31:19.235 Travis Bader: Well, we'll put some links of those in the description. 01:31:19.245 --> 01:31:22.495 So people will know how to contact you, follow you on social media, 01:31:22.495 --> 01:31:23.835 see the work that you're doing. 01:31:23.835 --> 01:31:28.445 And if there are people out there who want to be sponsors and see some of 01:31:28.445 --> 01:31:30.835 these adventures, Through to fruition. 01:31:31.215 --> 01:31:34.185 I'm sure they'll know how to get ahold of you through social media. 01:31:34.735 --> 01:31:38.145 Jillian, thank you so much for being on the Silvercore podcast. 01:31:38.145 --> 01:31:39.685 I really enjoyed this conversation. 01:31:39.795 --> 01:31:40.355 Jillian Brown: Thank you. 01:31:40.365 --> 01:31:41.075 It was great. 01:31:41.195 --> 01:31:42.325 I'll come back anytime. 01:31:42.355 --> 01:31:42.765 Travis Bader: Oh, you'll be 01:31:42.765 --> 01:31:56.344 back.