Most marriages don’t blow up overnight.
They drift.
They drift from us…
to the family…
and eventually to two exhausted roommates running a daycare.
Once kids enter the picture, something subtle but dangerous often happens: the couple stops being the center of the relationship. Not out of malice. Not because anyone planned it. It just happens.
And in most marriages, if nobody actively protects the couple, the marriage slowly disintegrates.
From what I see, this responsibility usually falls on the man — and when he pushes for dates, intimacy, boundaries, or adult connection, he’s often shamed for it.
I break down:
- Why marriages predictably shift into “kids first, marriage last”
- Why this creates dead bedrooms and quiet resentment
- Why men get labeled selfish for trying to fix it
- And why a strong marriage actually serves kids better than a child-centered one
If this topic hits home, you’ll want to check out my book The Dead Bedroom Fix and the Help For Men Brotherhood — where guys are having these conversations honestly, without being shamed.
What is Dad Starting Over?
Welcome to the Dad Starting Over podcast! "Starting Over" means different things to different people. It could be that you're newly divorced and starting over fresh with a new life. It could be that you're still married and wanting to hit the reset button and finally do things right within your marriage. Whatever your story may be, you're in the right place.
I'm Ralph, a.k.a DSO, the author of books including "The Dead Bedroom Fix", "Divorce Panic", "Real Talk" "Red Flags" and "REBUILD: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man". You can learn more about me, my books, one-on-one coaching, and the member-only part of my site called the Brotherhood at https://helpformen.com