Most people rate themselves as above average in bed. Statistically, that's impossible. And the gap between how people assess their own performance and what their partner is actually experiencing is where most sexual dissatisfaction quietly lives.
In Episode 37, Scott and Brittney go somewhere most podcasts won't: the specific, research-backed patterns that make people consistently disappointing intimate partners without them having any idea. Not character flaws. Not fixed traits. Learnable, fixable patterns that nobody ever named because nobody ever taught most people what good intimacy actually requires.
Five patterns. Real research. Personal honesty from both Scott and Brittney about where they've each caught themselves. And a practical fix for each one that doesn't require a personality overhaul — just a willingness to look.
In this episode:
- Why most people overestimate their performance as intimate partners and what the research says about the actual satisfaction gap
- Pattern 1: Assuming instead of asking and why confidence and assumption are not the same thing
- Pattern 2: Treating sex as a performance rather than a collaboration
- Pattern 3: Prioritizing your own arousal timeline at the expense of your partner's
- Pattern 4: Disappearing after sex and why the ten minutes after matter as much as the encounter itself
- Pattern 5: Never updating your partner's manual
- A practical fix for each pattern you can use this week
Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.
Couples Intimacy Resources
Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?
Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.
For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.
Explore both here:
What is Do You Feel That? | A Couples Intimacy & Sex Podcast?
Do You Feel That? is a couples intimacy and sex podcast about love, connection, desire, and building a stronger relationship in and out of the bedroom.
Hosted by Scott and Brittney, a married couple exploring modern intimacy, each episode blends honest conversations, personal stories, and practical tools to help couples improve communication, deepen emotional connection, and create better sex in long-term relationships.
We talk about:
• Marriage and intimacy
• Sexual communication
• Desire differences
• Erotic exploration
• Guided audio intimacy
• Confidence in the bedroom
• Reigniting passion after kids
• Sex toys, play, and connection
• Building emotional safety
• Strengthening relationships through intentional intimacy
Whether you’re navigating mismatched desire, looking to improve your sex life, or simply wanting to feel closer to your partner, Do You Feel That? offers grounded, real-world conversations to help couples grow together.
New episodes every week.