WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:16.231 --> 00:00:22.061 Booth Parker: Today on MOM-enomics we are going to talk about college tours. 00:00:22.481 --> 00:00:28.681 So my son is just starting his senior year of high school and so college tours and 00:00:28.681 --> 00:00:33.731 the college list has kind of been on our radar for almost a couple of years now. 00:00:34.191 --> 00:00:39.486 And I will say that when we started the college tour process, I don't 00:00:39.496 --> 00:00:41.756 think we went about it in the best way. 00:00:42.086 --> 00:00:46.276 Learned some lessons and kind of revamped the way we went about it. 00:00:46.386 --> 00:00:49.786 So, today I'm going to kind of tell you what we did the first time, 00:00:50.096 --> 00:00:54.006 what we learned from it, what we did right, what we did wrong, how 00:00:54.006 --> 00:00:59.736 we kind of changed the process to really help us find the right fit. 00:00:59.786 --> 00:01:04.476 So, obviously, if your child is choosing the college path or route, 00:01:04.806 --> 00:01:10.376 you want them to go to the school that is the right fit for them. 00:01:10.696 --> 00:01:15.376 They are going to thrive in the right environment more than anything. 00:01:15.386 --> 00:01:18.626 So, schools can look great on a piece of paper. 00:01:18.666 --> 00:01:20.466 They can look great in a video. 00:01:20.756 --> 00:01:25.006 But they may not be the right fit for your child. 00:01:25.226 --> 00:01:30.516 So letting your child kind of discover what is the right fit for them and 00:01:30.556 --> 00:01:34.666 finding the school that will just let them thrive and become their 00:01:34.666 --> 00:01:38.491 best self is what we want to do as 00:01:38.711 --> 00:01:39.361 parents. 00:01:39.605 --> 00:01:43.635 Some kids often have a dream school that they've wanted to attend since 00:01:43.745 --> 00:01:47.045 they were young, this, that, and the other, and their heart is set on it. 00:01:47.395 --> 00:01:50.215 And sometimes that school ends up being the one. 00:01:50.285 --> 00:01:55.375 Sometimes they go visit it, and it's just not what they had in their minds 00:01:55.595 --> 00:01:58.395 and their thought process changes. 00:01:58.905 --> 00:02:05.045 So, nearing the end of sophomore year, we decided to go tour some schools just 00:02:05.055 --> 00:02:08.455 to get a feel for what my son wanted. 00:02:08.475 --> 00:02:12.885 So, he didn't think at the time he wanted a big school, but he 00:02:12.885 --> 00:02:15.618 still wanted to go check them out. 00:02:15.925 --> 00:02:19.535 So we took two days and it was a whirlwind. 00:02:19.545 --> 00:02:23.095 We took two days, left early, four hour drive to the first one, 00:02:23.385 --> 00:02:26.135 saw five schools in two days. 00:02:26.605 --> 00:02:29.835 Some were small, some were huge. 00:02:30.295 --> 00:02:35.685 And what we did learn was that he definitely did not want the huge school. 00:02:35.685 --> 00:02:38.345 That just was not the feeling he was going for. 00:02:38.735 --> 00:02:43.245 And that he did tend to like the small schools, especially 00:02:43.245 --> 00:02:47.975 the ones that you could kind of walk to a small town type area. 00:02:48.025 --> 00:02:52.005 So we had also seen a few small schools that were fairly remote. 00:02:52.035 --> 00:02:53.515 They didn't really have anything around them. 00:02:53.515 --> 00:02:54.795 It was just the campus. 00:02:55.185 --> 00:03:00.615 So he found that he was really liking the smaller school in a small town. 00:03:00.965 --> 00:03:02.305 So that was very helpful. 00:03:02.900 --> 00:03:07.630 What we did wrong, especially on this trip, was the whirlwind. 00:03:07.810 --> 00:03:12.530 I thought we were, you know, gonna go kill five birds with one stone, so to speak, 00:03:12.880 --> 00:03:17.630 but instead all we did was kind of rush through everything and not be able to 00:03:17.630 --> 00:03:21.810 kind of stop, process, and take it all in. 00:03:21.890 --> 00:03:28.133 So, we had a quick tour at each one, but didn't get to really see a lot of 00:03:28.133 --> 00:03:33.293 the school, how the students interacted with each other, go to a lot of places 00:03:33.303 --> 00:03:37.843 where students might be hanging out, and get the whole vibe, so to speak. 00:03:37.914 --> 00:03:42.313 And so, even though a couple of the campuses were very pretty and he really 00:03:42.313 --> 00:03:47.733 liked them, he never walked away with a true vibe of any of the schools because 00:03:47.773 --> 00:03:51.703 it was such a rushed tour and situation. 00:03:52.018 --> 00:03:55.948 So after that happened, I kind of changed our approach. 00:03:55.968 --> 00:04:01.048 So we went ahead and kind of took off the huge schools that were possibly 00:04:01.048 --> 00:04:05.768 going to be on his list and started to focus more on the smaller schools 00:04:05.848 --> 00:04:07.568 that he thought he would like. 00:04:08.088 --> 00:04:13.308 And so that summer before his junior year started, we did another trip, and 00:04:13.308 --> 00:04:20.098 we went to two different schools, both small, both attached to, you know, little 00:04:20.098 --> 00:04:21.928 towns that you could walk around in. 00:04:22.618 --> 00:04:27.148 He knew he liked an older school with a really, really beautiful, campus. 00:04:27.178 --> 00:04:30.828 You know, fabulous architecture, all those kind of things he was really drawn to. 00:04:31.238 --> 00:04:36.658 And so, when I planned the trip for these next two schools, we almost kind of made 00:04:36.658 --> 00:04:39.378 a little mini vacation out of this trip. 00:04:39.448 --> 00:04:45.218 So, the first one, we we drove there and we checked into a cute little inn, 00:04:45.228 --> 00:04:50.108 not some chain motel off the interstate, but a cute little inn right there in 00:04:50.108 --> 00:04:55.228 town, right next to campus, made a dinner reservation at one of the little, 00:04:55.558 --> 00:05:00.248 you know, mom and pop kind of local eateries right there on the main street. 00:05:00.688 --> 00:05:03.698 And we just enjoyed the town. 00:05:04.098 --> 00:05:07.118 Got up the next morning, coffee, breakfast. 00:05:07.118 --> 00:05:11.338 You can see students doing their thing, how they interact with 00:05:11.338 --> 00:05:14.488 this whole environment of this school and the town it's in. 00:05:14.828 --> 00:05:19.846 And then we went and had a nice long tour of the school. 00:05:19.863 --> 00:05:22.073 And then kind of came back to the town. 00:05:22.443 --> 00:05:24.073 Dinner again that night. 00:05:24.231 --> 00:05:26.522 We checked out a pizza place, I think, that night. 00:05:26.522 --> 00:05:31.012 And just really casual and just got a feel for how the school 00:05:31.172 --> 00:05:34.082 was as an environment overall. 00:05:34.432 --> 00:05:39.682 And it was such a better experience that he really loved this school 00:05:39.752 --> 00:05:44.712 and he also was able to really list out the pros and cons of it 00:05:44.722 --> 00:05:48.592 because he had such an understanding of what life would be like there. 00:05:49.232 --> 00:05:52.667 So then we proceed on to the next school on this, tour. 00:05:52.667 --> 00:05:55.637 It was a little bit bigger school, a little bit bigger town, but 00:05:55.787 --> 00:05:57.897 very, very similar situation. 00:05:58.277 --> 00:06:01.887 And we did the same thing all over again. 00:06:01.967 --> 00:06:07.557 And so while he also really liked this school, he noted that he thought he liked 00:06:07.557 --> 00:06:11.837 the first one more just because this one was a little bigger, the town was a 00:06:11.837 --> 00:06:13.757 little bigger, and things of that nature. 00:06:13.767 --> 00:06:19.647 But having a more extended time period with the tour and really getting to 00:06:19.647 --> 00:06:25.177 know the area really helped know if the school would be the right fit. 00:06:25.444 --> 00:06:29.034 And so we go through junior year and as junior year was kind of 00:06:29.054 --> 00:06:33.714 coming to an end, we really have to get on more college tours. 00:06:33.734 --> 00:06:37.729 And so, we went back to the drawing board and had some more schools we 00:06:37.729 --> 00:06:42.989 wanted to go attend, and I did it with the same approach where I took time 00:06:43.299 --> 00:06:50.259 going and doing some research on the town that the school was a part of, 00:06:50.259 --> 00:06:51.929 and kind of learning about the town. 00:06:52.294 --> 00:06:55.954 What were the popular places for students to have coffee and grab 00:06:55.954 --> 00:06:58.214 breakfast, uh, maybe grab dinner? 00:06:58.444 --> 00:07:02.654 And we did the same approach again where we got there, we stayed in a 00:07:02.654 --> 00:07:07.784 local inn, walked to everything, had a really, you know, drawn out tour 00:07:07.784 --> 00:07:10.014 of the school, got to see everything. 00:07:10.584 --> 00:07:14.434 And got to see how students interacted with each other and 00:07:14.434 --> 00:07:17.404 how the overall environment was. 00:07:17.834 --> 00:07:22.288 And then we went to the school that ended up being the one, the favorite. 00:07:22.838 --> 00:07:25.428 And it was kind of the same situation. 00:07:25.448 --> 00:07:30.798 This one, actually, the town was the smallest of the ones we've been to, 00:07:31.188 --> 00:07:33.748 but he loved the vibe of the campus. 00:07:33.778 --> 00:07:39.448 The town had the type of places to go, very casual atmosphere that he 00:07:39.458 --> 00:07:44.458 likes, and the campus is stunningly beautiful, architecture is fantastic. 00:07:44.758 --> 00:07:51.373 And so by taking the time to learn a little bit about each town and school, 00:07:51.793 --> 00:07:57.283 booking a trip where we were right in the heart of how that school operates, 00:07:57.283 --> 00:08:01.803 the vibe it gives, the feeling it gives, how your day would look like 00:08:01.803 --> 00:08:05.773 as a student interacting with your friends and things of that nature. 00:08:06.263 --> 00:08:12.953 Not being rushed through a tour where all you see is maybe a dorm room, a classroom, 00:08:13.233 --> 00:08:16.943 the dining hall, and then you're kind of scooted along and you never really 00:08:16.943 --> 00:08:22.703 have a true feeling or understanding of how you would fit into that environment. 00:08:22.763 --> 00:08:30.238 So when we chose to slow the whole process down and really, really take 00:08:30.238 --> 00:08:35.818 it as an experience, not just see a few things and roll onto the next school, 00:08:36.158 --> 00:08:43.028 it allowed us and him, most importantly, to understand how he would fit there 00:08:43.218 --> 00:08:47.658 and if he would fit there and if he would be able to thrive there. 00:08:47.998 --> 00:08:52.978 And it's just so important and it's so comforting to me when he can 00:08:52.978 --> 00:08:54.778 say, "This isn't the right fit. 00:08:55.183 --> 00:08:57.173 I don't want this to be my place." 00:08:57.553 --> 00:09:01.013 Or saying, "I can totally see myself here, 00:09:01.013 --> 00:09:04.853 I would love to be here," and getting super, super excited about it. 00:09:05.263 --> 00:09:09.003 Even though he's a homebody, his favorite is super far from home, which 00:09:09.393 --> 00:09:15.633 obviously makes Momma sad, but to see him know that it is the right fit is 00:09:15.673 --> 00:09:19.123 so comforting and exciting to watch. 00:09:19.383 --> 00:09:23.903 And then, just watch him go do his thing when that day comes. 00:09:24.768 --> 00:09:28.998 And more than anything, you know, I was, I was kind of sad that he didn't 00:09:29.008 --> 00:09:32.998 love my alma mater or my husband's alma mater since we went to the same school. 00:09:33.418 --> 00:09:39.658 But that was okay in the end because I love the fact that he knows where 00:09:39.658 --> 00:09:46.018 he'll fit and what he's looking for and being that comfortable in himself 00:09:46.118 --> 00:09:51.128 to know those things and be able to tell us and communicate those things. 00:09:51.138 --> 00:09:56.188 So, it is a really, really great conversation to have with your kid and 00:09:56.248 --> 00:10:01.788 really, understand what it is they're looking for, where they think they will 00:10:01.788 --> 00:10:08.858 thrive, and supporting them in what they want and what is right for them, and 00:10:08.858 --> 00:10:16.508 really taking the time to thoughtfully go tour schools on the list and find 00:10:16.508 --> 00:10:20.018 the one that has the right vibe. 00:10:20.318 --> 00:10:24.548 It's all about that vibe and feeling comfortable and knowing 00:10:24.548 --> 00:10:30.120 your kid is going to thrive there and not just survive there. 00:10:30.500 --> 00:10:35.560 So I know this week's podcast is kind of short and sweet, but this is the 00:10:35.560 --> 00:10:41.010 season of life I'm in with this whole college process and seeing my friends' 00:10:41.070 --> 00:10:45.740 kids go off to college and you know my friends becoming empty nesters. 00:10:45.740 --> 00:10:48.480 I feel like we all just graduated from college ourselves. 00:10:48.980 --> 00:10:52.710 But it is hard and exciting all at the same time. 00:10:52.950 --> 00:10:56.480 It's hard because your children are growing up, but it's exciting 00:10:56.810 --> 00:11:00.720 to see what they're going to do with their lives and being able to 00:11:00.720 --> 00:11:03.420 support them on their right path. 00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:08.320 So if you are starting looking at colleges or if you're in the midst of it and you're 00:11:08.470 --> 00:11:13.970 super overwhelmed and you just can't find the right fit, slow the process down 00:11:14.315 --> 00:11:19.652 and really take your time to find the school, give yourself 00:11:19.652 --> 00:11:21.932 time there, find the vibe. 00:11:22.182 --> 00:11:24.842 You know, what's funny is one of the schools we thought he would really, 00:11:24.842 --> 00:11:29.412 really like, and there were things about the town we really liked, but 00:11:29.412 --> 00:11:34.212 when he saw the way students kind of interacting and the way, the vibe they 00:11:34.212 --> 00:11:36.642 gave off, he knew it wasn't his place. 00:11:36.642 --> 00:11:40.687 It was a little, , I'm going to say pretentious, but it wasn't pretentious, 00:11:40.697 --> 00:11:44.507 but it was just not the laid back atmosphere he was looking for. 00:11:44.867 --> 00:11:50.417 So it's just great to put them into the actual environment that they would 00:11:50.427 --> 00:11:55.647 be going into and let them be able to tell you if it is the right one or not. 00:11:56.007 --> 00:12:02.637 So good luck to all you mommas on this college tour path, finding 00:12:02.737 --> 00:12:04.317 all of these things for your kiddo. 00:12:04.827 --> 00:12:07.277 And I look forward to seeing you next time.