Sharkey's Place
Season 1, Episode 9
"A Cold Morning"
By Rick Regan
1/3/22
CHAPTER 1: SHARKEY’S PLACE - A COLD MID-MORNING
Myra and Kirini are getting the place ready for the lunch
crowd. Myra is perfecting her fish sandwich and plates one as
a test - and lunch. She sits at the counter eating.
Gordon knocks on the door. Kirini sees him and let’s him in.
KIRINI
Gordo. What’s up? We’re not even open yet.
GORDON
I know but I’m passing by and I was hoping that I
could cadge a cup of Joe.
KIRINI
Sure. Just made a fresh pot.
GORDON
I’m heading down to Portland for the day and, well,
your coffee is so much better than the Honk'R.
Kirini hands him a cup to go.
MYRA
Portland? What are you going there for?
GORDON
Your fella Glenn asked me to come down. Talk to him
about boats.
MYRA
Yeah, he’s got that new insurance job, looking at
boats.
GORDON
He wants me to tell him how to fake the damage, make
it look like a payout.
KIRINI
You’re going to help him? You an expert?
GORDON
I’ve seen my share. Maybe bash in a few windows,
after a storm, tear some cushions up for effect,
maybe put some bad gas through the motor. But no
serious damage. If the insurance man doesn’t know
what he’s looking at, he might pay top-dollar.
KIRINI
If times are tight, it might be a good gig.
GORDON
And times are always tight, on the water. But do it
more than once and they’ll blackball ya, and no
insurance is to be had, at any price. Then you’re
stuck.
KIRINI
What about if somebody was getting leaned on, by some
less-than-honorable characters? Might make you do
funny things. Maybe from gambling.
GORDON
It’s not even that, usually. Most times it’s a
captain gets out, over his head, with the crew. He is
running short of cash so he tells them he’ll give
them a bigger share of the next catch. And it’ll
work, if they’re biting. But if the season changes,
or maybe just a warm stretch of weather, the catch is
lousy and now he’s even further behind. He plays it
out long enough and the crew is about to throw him
overboard. He’ll fake an accident or storm, try to
make it look like things are really a mess, try to
get the insurance to bail him out.
MYRA
But what if the insurance man is, say, a little
behind on things himself. Maybe he recognizes the
situation and says he wants a taste of the action.
KIRINI
Yeah, it’s not his money.
MYRA
The insurance company is not going to know the
difference for a few thou- here or there. And maybe
Glenn can get caught up.
Gordon and Kirini look at Myra.
KIRINI
Myra, you think Glenn would be tempted?
MYRA
I know Glenn can be tempted. Whether he behaves
himself, I don’t know.
GORDON
Well that’s one of the chats we’ve got to have today
too. I know most of the insurance adjusters around
these parts and talk gets around about a bad apple.
The best advice is to keep things on the up-and-up.
KIRINI
Usually the best policy.
GORDON
Well, I’ve got to head down the road. Good coffee.
Thanks.
MYRA
I started roasting it myself. I go a little lighter,
not so harsh.
GORDON
Mmm. I’ll tell Glenn I saw you.
Gordon exits.
MYRA
I hope Glenn is staying on the straight and narrow
these days.
KIRINI
Why wouldn’t he? Sounds like he’s got a pretty good
job. He’s subletting that dump of an apartment to
Neil. And Boots says his writing is getting better.
MYRA
He is a man of unlimited ability but limited
tenacity. He doesn’t stick to it, you know?
KIRINI
I suppose.
MYRA
Did I tell you about Ethan, and that little witch?
KIRINI
Bella Godspeed is not a little witch! She’s a nice
girl, from a good, solid family. I know the
Godspeeds.
MYRA
So do I, and you know what? You’re right, they are a
good, solid family. Happy parents. Siblings who don’t
try to kill each other. Good jobs, a nice house.
Enough money to send Bella to Portland next year.
KIRINI
So what’s the problem? Sounds like she’s a good
catch.
MYRA
The problem? A good catch? That’s just it, she’s too
good.
KIRINI
What are you talking?
MYRA
She has invited Ethan to stay with her family for the
holidays.
KIRINI
So? That sounds nice.
MYRA
And you know what he’s going to see? A nice family.
Stable parents. Clean and helpful siblings. And you
know what he’s going to realize?
KIRINI
What?
MYRA
That his family, OUR family, is pretty messed up.
KIRINI
What? No,
MYRA
Yes. He’s going to realize that Glenn is a lousy
father. He’s going to realize that I’m doing the best
that I can but it’s hard to be a single mother. He’s
going to see their family and realize that it doesn’t
have to be like this. He’s not going to want me to be
his mother anymore, after all my efforts.
KIRINI
No, you’re exaggerating. It’s not like that.
MYRA
Things won’t be the same if he stays with them. He’ll
see how messed up things have been for him. But I
can’t just say ‘no’, can I? Can I?
KIRINI
No, you have to let him go. He should learn about the
world. It’s going to happen sometime.
MYRA
But does it have to happen now? That little witch is
ripping him out of my arms.
KIRINI
No she’s not. She’s just being a young woman.
MYRA
And he’s running to her as fast as he can! Away from
me.
KIRINI
No, he’s not. He’s just being a young man.
MYRA
And you know what men do? Follow their instincts,
their instinctual desires.
KIRINI
And what about you, huh? You seem like you have that
special bloom in your cheeks today, despite the
chilly weather. You didn’t...?
MYRA
[shy]
It was cold last night.
KIRINI
It was.
MYRA
And Sam called me.
KIRINI
Uh-huh...
MYRA
And he wanted me to come over.
KIRINI
Yeah...
MYRA
So I did.
KIRINI
Good for you. He keep you warm, did he?
MYRA
Well, you know, it’s kinda been a while.
KIRINI
OK.
MYRA
And I’m kinda out of practice.
KIRINI
Oh yeah? Him too, I bet.
MYRA
But, it all still works.
[laughs]
KIRINI
[laughs]
It works when Sam the Butcher comes a-knockin’!
Maybe you two should spend some time together over
the holidays, you know, with Ethan out for a while.
MYRA
That’s an idea. That might be nice.
KIRINI
Sammy’ll take your mind off of things.
MYRA
Kiri, I gotta tell you. It’s been a while and boy
have I missed it. I forgot how much...
KIRINI
Hey, hey! Keep it to yourself. I’m happy for you, I
really am. Good for you.
MYRA
Well, we’ll see how it goes.
KIRINI
Alright. Now, how’s lunch?
MYRA
Good! Came out nice.
KIRINI
OK. Fill-in Sandra when she gets here.
MYRA
Yes, boss!
CHAPTER 2: - BUSY LUNCH TIME
People are coming and going. The specials are going fast.
It’s crowded, with a line at the register to pay.
Sandra is working the room. Instead of the usual tight
outfits, she’s in loose blue-jeans and a black turtleneck
sweater. Myra and Kirini notice but don’t say anything.
Aiden and Caiden come in.
AIDEN
Nice and warm in here.
CAIDEN
Sharp day outside.
AIDEN
You think we’re too late for The Special?
CAIDEN
Myra told us, Fish on Friday.
AIDEN
We’ve got to put her to the test.
CAIDEN
See if it checks out.
AIDEN
As good as the Inky?
CAIDEN
But it’s Myra. You don’t think, better?
AIDEN
Do you? Nah! The Squid’s the tops. We all know that.
CAIDEN
But it’s Myra! We gotta find out!
AIDEN
[to Sandra]
Hey Sandra! You got any room for us?
CAIDEN
We’re here for The Special.
SANDRA
Hey! We’re busy! But I’ll see what I can do.
CAIDEN
See if you can squeeze us in?
SANDRA
Sure. Table Six, in the back.
AIDEN
In the back?! We’re going to be out of sight.
CAIDEN
We should be up front.
SANDRA
Look around. You see anyplace open? Huh? No! Table
Six, in the back.
AIDEN
Alright, alright!
They go to a table near the back and sit.
CAIDEN
Hey, does Myra have The Special on today?
SANDRA
Sure! She’s got a special every day.
CAIDEN
It’s fish, right?
SANDRA
Well... I don’t want to ruin the surprise. Just order
it. You’ll love it.
AIDEN
Wait, you trying to push something fishy on us? We’re
regulars. You trying to unload a bad catch?
CAIDEN
Sandra, that’s not like you. I think of you with a
special kindness, in your heart. A special warmth
inside you, for us.
SANDRA
You keep talking about what’s warm inside me and I’m
going to pour coffee, hot coffee, on your head! That
will keep you warm.
CAIDEN
Your heart has gone cold, Sandra. I had hoped things
between us were, well, heating up. Am I mistaken?
SANDRA
Caiden, you’re sinking fast. If you start swimming
now, you might make it out of here - without me
thumping you on the back of your flat-head!
CAIDEN
It’s just that, in this time of cold, this change in
the season, with the bitterness of the wind, you are
a beacon of light, of warmth, of life. I speak for
myself, but I think I speak for everyone here, that
you are our daily vision of loveliness that makes our
hearts beat a little faster and our spirits fill
with, well... optimism.
SANDRA
[moved]
Well, Caiden, when you put it like that, I do feel
like I have an obligation, if you will, to give back
to the hard working deck-hands, local pilots,
fishermen...
AIDEN
And fry-cooks!
SANDRA
And fry-cooks. Just a little taste of feminine
sensibility in their day. Color, light and beauty.
And maybe perfume. It doesn’t move mountains, but
it’s what I can do.
CAIDEN
You make the world go round, Sandra.
SANDRA
That’s very nice of you, Caiden.
AIDEN
Listen, can we order, or something?
SANDRA
Sure, sure. Two Specials?
AIDEN
What is it?
SANDRA
Like you said...
AIDEN
So, fish, right?
SANDRA
Sure. It’s delicious. Kinda chopped-up, is all.
CAIDEN
Chopped up?
AIDEN
Who chops fish?
CAIDEN
Myra? No way.
AIDEN
Like tuna, chopped?
CAIDEN
Or cod, cut-up?
SANDRA
You can ask her, but you have to order it first. Look
around, look at this crowd. People love it! See, they
are eating and smiling. You should too.
AIDEN
Chopped up fish?
CAIDEN
This is a strange adventure.
SANDRA
You’re in good hands. Now, two Specials, or not?
AIDEN
Alright, alright! And a Light.
CAIDEN
And a Black.
SANDRA
Two Specials, one Harpoon Light, one Black coffee!
Sandra swivels away to keep the orders moving. She comes back
with the drinks and drops them off, on her way back to the
kitchen.
CAIDEN
[to Sandra]
You look especially mysterious today, Sandra.
SANDRA
Everyday is a mystery for you, Caiden.
AIDEN
[to Caiden]
You think Myra can cook better than us?
CAIDEN
We’re going to find out.
AIDEN
Why chop up a fish? Doesn’t make sense.
CAIDEN
She must have a plan. You know, a plan.
Kirini comes over to visit.
KIRINI
Aiden. Caiden. How are ya? You been busy at the
Squid?
CAIDEN
Things have tapered.
AIDEN
Seasonal decline.
CAIDEN
But we’re hopeful.
AIDEN
Turbo says the new guy wrote us up in a Philly
magazine.
CAIDEN
Says we should see an ‘uptick’.
KIRINI
Turbo says, huh?
AIDEN
Yeah. He’s really connected, you know.
CAIDEN
All the right people.
KIRINI
[skeptical]
All the right people? Including you two?
AIDEN
No, No, The connoisseurs.
CAIDEN
The cognoscenti.
AIDEN
People in the know.
CAIDEN
Movers. Shakers. And the like.
KIRINI
You get many Shakers in these parts?
CAIDEN
Maybe in Philly.
KIRINI
Right.
AIDEN
Kiri, listen, you got to help me out. I’m swinging
for the fences today.
CAIDEN
Go big or go home!
KIRINI
You’re drinking Harpoon Light at 11: - what is it -
45. Hardly breaking new ground here.
CAIDEN
Hot coffee. That’s what gets you through the
afternoon, am I right?
KIRINI
Myra’s gone crazy with the coffee. She wants me to
get a special roaster, do bigger batches.
AIDEN
She’s a wonderful woman.
KIRINI
[curious]
Is she?
CAIDEN
And the coffee is a marvel.
AIDEN
Could you ask her to come by? I have a few questions
about the menu.
CAIDEN
Issues.
KIRINI
You have issues now?
AIDEN
No, No, Just a few professional topics, to discuss
with the chef.
KIRINI
[laughs]
She’s kind of busy right now.
AIDEN
I have some things to talk about.
CAIDEN
Have words.
KIRINI
You can have-words when lunch is over. We’re busy
here.
CAIDEN
Come on, help him out.
KIRINI
Maybe the-guy, the-guy... you mean the artist-guy,
right?
AIDEN
Yeah.
KIRINI
Maybe the-guy wrote about us too. Because the crowd
has been steady. Like when the tide comes in and the
boats are full. Sailors drinking beer, tequila all
night. Like that.
AIDEN
Wait, you know the guy?
KIRINI
Know the guy? He comes in all the time. He’s painting
nudes of Sandra, just this week. He buys cocktails
with Absinthe and Vermouth.
AIDEN
Absinthe?
CAIDEN
Nudes?! Painting?
KIRINI
Yeah. He calls it the Green Lady.
CAIDEN
Sandra?
KIRINI
No, dummy, the Absinthe.
CAIDEN
But what is he painting?
KIRINI
He does, like, portraits. He signed up Sandra to
model. I’m afraid she’s going to get a swelled head.
Too good for us at Sharkey’s, you know?
AIDEN
Who of us isn’t?
KIRINI
[shocked]
Excuse me?
CAIDEN
But he’s painting Sandra, as a model? Nude?
KIRINI
Yeah. And then he sells them. Gordo is in for two, he
says, but we’ll see. Two grand each.
CAIDEN
Two grand?!
AIDEN
You could swing that. Don’t sweat it. Hit up Turbo
for an advance on the spring.
CAIDEN
My world is spinning!
KIRINI
I called Turbo about this guy. He said he’s in for
three, maybe six of ‘em. He’s got his place in
Westchester and is going to make some room. He said
he has two of last year’s as well.
CAIDEN
Turbo is going to buy a naked Sandra?
AIDEN
Turbo tried before but he was no match for Georgios.
Now he’s got to settle for reproductions.
KIRINI
Turbo hit on Sandra?
AIDEN
For years. But Georg-y, you know. A different cat.
KIRINI
Uncle G was the best.
AIDEN
The Beast!
CAIDEN
I’m going to ask for a raise.
AIDEN
You should. You deserve it.
CAIDEN
You too. You’ve earned it.
AIDEN
Enough for a full-sized Sandra nude?
CAIDEN
Maybe... but nobody can earn that much.
KIRINI
Turbo can.
AIDEN
Turbo.
CAIDEN
Turbo.
Sandra comes by with the Specials, Fish Sandwiches.
SANDRA
Two Specials up. The Conked Out Sandwich!
She puts the plates down.
AIDEN
What is this?
[sniffs]
CAIDEN
Is this fish? Chopped up?
AIDEN
Who chops a fish?
CAIDEN
Is there sauce?
AIDEN
Is that a salsa? Habanero? On fish?
CAIDEN
Chopped fish?
AIDEN
It looks crispy but...
[bites in]
Oh..
[too hot]
Oh! Oh! This, what is this?
CAIDEN
[bites in]
Wait, I’m confused!
SANDRA
What else is new?
CAIDEN
Is it overcooked, or is that a.... smoky flavor? Like
mousse?
KIRINI
Moose?
CAIDEN
Like pate. Maybe goose liver?
AIDEN
No, No, It’s more direct than that. This is smoked
oysters. And onion?
CAIDEN
But red pepper and... I don’t know what else!
AIDEN
Myra! Hey, Myra! We have questions!
Myra pokes her head out of the kitchen. She’s busy and is
bothered by the disturbance to her concentration.
Myra steams toward the table, scowling at the two men.
MYRA
What’s the matter? What’s the matter?! What’s the
matter with you two? All the time, complaining!
AIDEN
Myra, your eyes look particularly green today.
MYRA
Shut up about my eyes! You don’t like the fish?
She stares at them.
MYRA
Then I’ll take them back!
She grabs for the plates but Aiden and Caiden crowd around to
defend their lunch.
CAIDEN
I’m just confused! Why do you do this?
AIDEN
Who chops a fish?!
MYRA
It’s oysters, you soup-heads, and clams.
AIDEN
Chopped?
MYRA
Oysters and clams, chopped. Then green pepper, onion,
an egg, some barley flour and ‘sea water’.
AIDEN
Sea water?
MYRA
I use a seltzer, with sea salt. Gives the batter a
fizz. See how light, how crispy?
AIDEN
I am in awe, Myra.
MYRA
This is not Inky Squid fare, you know.
AIDEN
But I can’t take my eyes off of you. Maybe it’s the
cold weather but I feel like we’ve got something
really good, Myra.
MYRA
You do, my Conch Fritter, or as I call it, my Conked
Out Fish Sandwich.
AIDEN
The food is lovely, but that pales next to you.
MYRA
Aiden...
AIDEN
Pardon me for being so forward,
CAIDEN
So bold.
AIDEN
Reaching for the stars,
CAIDEN
Swinging for the fences,
AIDEN
But I think we should think about how we fit
together, in this place, in this time. I see you,
Myra, food genius. And I think we belong together.
CAIDEN
A pair.
AIDEN
A couple.
KIRINI
You boys get some extra candy in your stockings?
AIDEN
Myra, nobody understands what you do, like I do.
Nobody sees the work, the time, the patience, all of
it. I know the struggle.
CAIDEN
It’s real.
AIDEN
And I came here today to tell you that I think we
belong together.
MYRA
Did you?
AIDEN
You are a solid woman.
MYRA
Am I?
AIDEN
And I am chiseled stone.
CAIDEN
All flex.
AIDEN
No flab.
MYRA
I see.
AIDEN
And I...
MYRA
Yes?
AIDEN
I want us to make a life - together.
CAIDEN
You know.
MYRA
Hmm.
KIRINI
Boys, boys. We’re in the middle of lunch.
SANDRA
Why are you laying this on her during lunch? Look
around.
KIRINI
We’re busy!
MYRA
I’m busy!
AIDEN
Myra, look at me. Look. See the look in my eyes. See
the... the... the love. We can work together to
pursue my dreams of being a chef at a nice place. You
can be right there with me.
MYRA
Wait, what?!
AIDEN
I have ambition. I want to move up in the world. I
want you beside me on that journey.
CAIDEN
That climb up the hill.
AIDEN
To the top.
KIRINI
What’s the top, to you? Like, a Waffle House?
AIDEN
Waffle House? Like in the deep south? No!
[scoffs]
I want to work in the best kitchens, with the best
chefs. In Portland. In Bangor. In Kennebunkport. The
top of the Top.
MYRA
And you want me, to help you, get to the top?
AIDEN
We can do it together.
MYRA
I’m the one with the talent! Look at that sandwich.
It is a re-framing of the Caribbean Conch Fritter,
for the New England food-ways. Oysters, Clams,
onions, egg, barley. It is a chowder - on a bun! You
idiot!
Myra stomps away, back to the kitchen.
AIDEN
What did I miss?
KIRINI
Everything.
SANDRA
Nothing. You got it all
Sandra and Kirini go back to serving the room.
CAIDEN
She doesn’t understand yet.
AIDEN
Down in flames!
CAIDEN
You’re the phoenix! You’ll be bagging the hotties by
cocktail hour!
AIDEN
That’s right. All flex!
CAIDEN
Flex-time!
They work through their sandwiches.
AIDEN
You think she’s better than us?
CAIDEN
This is good.
AIDEN
But better? I mean, like, a better person.
CAIDEN
She’s a mother, so put that in the win-column.
AIDEN
True.
CAIDEN
But she was with Glenn, so... I mark that down as a
loss.
AIDEN
So, batting .500?
CAIDEN
And she’s working here...
AIDEN
Is that a tie?
CAIDEN
Great food, dumpy place. Eh, Texas-leaguer.
AIDEN
Right. Out at either base. So a tie.
CAIDEN
And she’s got a tongue like a whip.
AIDEN
No!
CAIDEN
She just called you an idiot!
AIDEN
OK, one for the loss-column.
CAIDEN
So, I can’t do the math...
AIDEN
A losing season, that’s what it is.
CAIDEN
And you’re a winner, buddy. You gotta put this one
behind you. Make a fresh start.
AIDEN
What, like, Heather at the Honk'R?
CAIDEN
No! Get your mind out of the gutter.
AIDEN
Who then?
CAIDEN
Elsa, at the Tastee Freeze. She’s perfect.
AIDEN
Elsa Godspeed? I don’t even know her.
CAIDEN
So you’ve got your work cut out for you.
AIDEN
A new project.
CAIDEN
A fresh face.
AIDEN
I’ll take it under consideration.
CAIDEN
This is good though.
AIDEN
Maybe too good.
CAIDEN
She’s the best.
AIDEN
The best.
CHAPTER 3: EVENING - GETTING LATE
Kirini and Sandra are handling the bar traffic. Gordon comes
in, goes to the bar.
GORDON
[grandly]
Ladies. Gentlemen.
KIRINI
Gordo! You’re back.
GORDON
Another day on land and my oilskins are drying out.
SANDRA
A beer might help.
KIRINI
Harp?
GORDON
I’d have a beer.
KIRINI
Coldest beer in town, coming up.
GORDON
It is not the cold beer that warms me, Kiri. It is
ever the sight of you, constant as Polaris.
SANDRA
What am I, chopped liver?
GORDON
Hmm. I can’t tell. Come closer, let me smell you.
SANDRA
Get away from me, you old salt.
GORDON
But Sandra, you yet know your power. You know the
sway and the swivel, a wink and a grin, and all
around men will grovel at your feet. My only defense
is the cowardly overture of a besotted sailing man.
Too over-broad, too over-forward, and soon overboard.
SANDRA
Well, you would make a hell of a splash there, Gordo.
KIRINI
How’d you make out with Glenn down in Portland? He on
the up-and-up?
GORDON
He has a good handle on things, I think. He is cleareyed and focused on his work. I warned him of the
dangers, the temptations and, too, the consequences
of perfidy.
SANDRA
Of what?
GORDON
Mind the store, Ben Franklin said, and the store will
mind you.
SANDRA
So keep his hands out of the cookie jar?
GORDON
Right enough. And Sandra, dearest, I understand that
you have been a moonlighting model. How goes it?
KIRINI
Yeah, how did that work out? Were you scared? Was it
weird?
SANDRA
Scared? No, Weird? Maybe. I felt like a mannequin a
lot of the time. Arms straight up. Arms straight out.
Look back. Look forward. Legs together. Legs apart.
KIRINI
Were you nude?
SANDRA
Mostly not. He asked me to bring in some outfits, so
I changed a bunch of times. Different colors,
different textures. He took a lot of photographs.
GORDON
But did he paint?
SANDRA
He did a lot of small paintings on these little
canvases. Like, just one eye, or the corner of the
mouth. Then I took off my clothes and he took a few
pictures, moving me around in different poses. And
then we were done.
KIRINI
It doesn’t sound too bad.
SANDRA
It is hard work though. Holding a pose for a long
time while he moves the lights around, changes the
background.
GORDON
How does he change the background? It’s a boat shed.
SANDRA
He uses big drapes, like sheets, so it’s all you see.
I looked at the pictures.
KIRINI
Do they look like... I don’t know... you?
SANDRA
I mean, sure, it’s me. But it’s just a body, you
know. Besides my hair, it’s just another body.
KIRINI
Your hair? Did you...?
SANDRA
Trimmed. He said he didn’t want it... like that.
KIRINI
Oh. Well, so, are you glad you did it?
SANDRA
I worked. I earned the money, so, yeah.
GORDON
Would you do it again?
SANDRA
For you? No, For him, sure.
GORDON
[laughs]
Of course.
SANDRA
Another beer, Gordo? That one went down quick.
GORDON
I’d have a beer.
The door opens and Neil comes in. He is wearing his painting
clothes, with splotches of color and splatters of paint. He
smells faintly of turpentine and cleaning solutions. He is
tired.
SANDRA
Neil! Hey.
NEIL
Sandra, hello. How are you? Got any beer left?
KIRINI
Harpoon suit you? Nice and cold.
NEIL
Two please.
KIRINI
[pulls two beers]
Expecting a friend?
NEIL
[drinks first one quick]
No, My friends are already here.
He smiles and puts the bottle down, scooping up the other
one.
GORDON
How’s the boathouse working for you, Neil? Too cold?
NEIL
I’m fine with it but ask her.
GORDON
Sandy?
SANDRA
Well, it can be pretty drafty in there. I got
goosebumps from the chill.
NEIL
Which, I must say, added a delightful textural
detail. You were marvelous, dear.
SANDRA
Thanks, I think.
The door opens and Boots Moran comes in. She waves to the
gang and takes a seat by Gordon.
KIRINI
Good evening, Boots! Thanks for coming in. What can I
get you?
BOOTS
Well, so you know I’m working on The Steel Trap, set
in Jamaica and I have these characters going in and
out of restaurants and taverns.
GORDON
Cloak and dagger stuff?
BOOTS
Something like that. And I just thought I could use
some inspiration from a taste of your rum. Could you?
KIRINI
Straight, or the Hurricane?
BOOTS
Blow winds, blow!
KIRINI
[laughs]
A Maine Hurricane, coming up.
She begins mixing a rum cocktail, shaking ice and pouring
into a wide glass.
BOOTS
You make the ticket to heaven, my dear.
[she sips]
Oh, such a delight!
KIRINI
Boots, have you met Neil here? He’s an artist.
NEIL
Hello.
BOOTS
I know you only by rumor. So what is true, sir?
NEIL
Uh, true? Well, I don’t believe the election was
rigged. It’s probably going to get colder before it
gets warmer. And I think there’s a spider on your
shoulder.
BOOTS
What?!
Gordon looks, sees the spider and swoops it off, flinging it
to the floor. The spider hurries away, outside through a
crack below the door.
GORDON
Just a Fishing Spider. Like a bee sting if you get
bit. Nothing to worry about. We see them on the boat
all the time. Did you come down by the marina?
BOOTS
Eww! I hate spiders.
GORDON
They have their place.
NEIL
You’re the writer?
BOOTS
Novelist. Crime-fiction. Do you like it?
NEIL
Yes, I read your books. They’re fun.
BOOTS
You know, I spend my days in the world of dark
intrigue, deception and murder. I live in the crimson
corners of the human heart. And yet, people enjoy the
thrill of the hunt for the killer.
NEIL
The resolution of the plot, right?
BOOTS
That’s what sells. People like the tidy ending, where
all the threads tie up nicely.
KIRINI
And you’re good at it. People love your books.
BOOTS
But tell me, sir. Tell me about your art. Do you get
to the resolution of the plot?
NEIL
I don’t know. I paint what sells. Like you, we feed
the audience. They will tell us if it is any good. I
don’t get to decide what is art, or what is not art.
I just paint.
BOOTS
But what do you use as inspiration? What brings the
muse to sing for you?
NEIL
The muse? Heh. I haven’t thought of him in quite a
while.
BOOTS
Him?
NEIL
Yeah. It’s a two-beer story. You got time?
BOOTS
I’m all ears, dear.
NEIL
I went to Spain for a while, after I got back from
the Sandbox.
BOOTS
You served?
NEIL
Uh-huh. And I was pretty messed-up when I got back.
BOOTS
I’m so sorry. Thank you for your service.
NEIL
Yeah, thanks. So my girlfriend sees that I’m a mess
and she says we should get away, go see the great art
in Europe.
BOOTS
But... I heard...
NEIL
She had been to Spain, and I don’t know what I’m
doing, and I can’t think of anything better, so we
go. We get to Madrid and tour the great museums. And
it’s working. I was feeling better. Then she leaves,
and I take a train to Barcelona.
BOOTS
Wait, what happened to the girl?
NEIL
Plot twist, she had another boyfriend.
BOOTS
Oh dear.
NEIL
Right. So now I’m pretty messed up again. But I meet
these people on the train.
They were headed to Berlin, for a rave. He’s a famous
DJ and she’s the hype-man.
BOOTS
The what?
NEIL
I don’t know, but that’s what they said. Anyway,
Sugar, the DJ, he’s this wild man, from Switzerland.
They are this wacky couple doing underground raves
and music festivals.
KIRINI
That’s a strange way to make a living.
NEIL
It was. And they drag me along, the stupid American,
into Barcelona, and we meet up with these two
nightclub promoters. And we do these nightclub gigs
until dawn. I’m drafted to do security, and we are
making more money than I’ve ever seen.
BOOTS
Wow!
NEIL
So it’s time for Sugar and J.Books to head to Berlin.
But I’m ready to go home. And Sugar says, Neil, the
world will not wait for you but, if you open your
mind, you can experience everything. Set yourself
free.
BOOTS
Wait, how did that go?
NEIL
You asked about the muse, so when I start painting, I
think of Sugar. I think of him telling me to make
myself free, to paint whatever I want. You know?
GORDON
Hmmm. But what is the price of that freedom? I
respect the sea, the lobsters and, most importantly,
Poseidon, but they do not care about the suffering of
a fisherman. Yet we go anyway. And we pay the awful
price.
KIRINI
What price is that?
GORDON
The cold. The loneliness. Failure. Pain. The sting of
frozen salt spray. Blinding sun on the water.
Bones cracked, broken by the storm tossed waves. Our
lives, wasted out on the inky seas.
KIRINI
But Gordon, you love being on the water.
GORDON
And that is the bitter price for my love.
NEIL
Paid in blood and tears.
GORDON
Paid over a lifetime.
NEIL
Yeah, that’s rough. Ahem... so Boots, tell me about
your muse.
KIRINI
Yeah, Boots. You have Swiss DJ in your back pocket?
BOOTS
You know, I think I would rather save that story for
another time. I thank you for the fine spun yarn, but
I must return to my dungeon of suffering to finish
off the murder. Will you excuse me?
NEIL
Only if you promise to share your story some night.
BOOTS
That I will. Good night all. And thank you Kirini for
the rum-inspiration.
KIRINI
Any time, Boots.
GORDON
May I, Boots, see you home? It is a cold one.
BOOTS
Captain, my Captain, I am well-able, but I do welcome
the company. Come along then.
GORDON
[to Kirini]
A good excuse to call it an early night.
KIRINI
If you say so.
GORDON
Can we settle up in the morning?
KIRINI
Two beers? On the house. But come by for coffee.
GORDON
You are too kind.
KIRINI
Perhaps, but get home safe.
Gordon and Boots exit together.
NEIL
Is that what I think it is?
KIRINI
Probably.
NEIL
Well, cold night.
KIRINI
I bet his wife is thinking that too.
NEIL
His wife?
KIRINI
Uh-huh. But wife, or girlfriend, he’s a lobsterman
first and only. The sea before all others.
NEIL
Ah, so the call of Poseidon?
KIRINI
His pocket god.
NEIL
I think it helps to believe in something.
KIRINI
How about dinner? We have some fish sandwiches left.
NEIL
Oh, wonderful! I’ve been going to the Inky Squid.
KIRINI
And?
NEIL
You know it?
KIRINI
Of course. How was it?
NEIL
Good, but there is not much variety. Much better food
here.
KIRINI
We treasure our chef, Myra.
NEIL
As well you should. Say, can I get that to go?
KIRINI
Sure, I’ll wrap it up for you.
Kirini goes to the back and comes out of the kitchen with a
brown paper sack.
NEIL
That’s great.
KIRINI
I put some napkins in there and forks. I don’t know
what Glenn has in there.
NEIL
Could I trouble you for one more thing? A Green Lady,
to go?
KIRINI
[winks]
Well, since you are a regular and all... no trouble.
NEIL
I like this place more and more.
She works on the cocktail and pours it into a paper cup.
KIRINI
Good night, Neil.
NEIL
Thank you, Kirini.
Neil leaves and Kirini is alone for a moment.
Then two sailors come in and order beer.
KIRINI
Ice-cold Harpoons! Coming up!
END