Curtis is a good-looking dude.
When I see his Instagram videos—shirt off, abs on display—
I admit I get a pang of jealousy. My dad bod under this shirt doesn’t compare.
But looks only get you so far.
Despite having no problem attracting women, Curtis faced one consistent issue:
He got friend-zoned.
Within months. Like clockwork.
He did all the “work.”
Facilitated under the great John Demartini.
Attended therapy, coaching, cognitive training—you name it.
But none of it mattered.
Because once a deep attachment was formed,
usually after months of sex, the same nightmare played out:
The triggers would come roaring back.
- Unanswered Texts or Calls: He’d spiral into anxiety,
getting pushy or needy, triggering her to withdraw. - Emotional Distance: Her need for space made him feel rejected,
and he’d show up controlling, amplifying the very thing he feared. - Ambiguity in Commitment: His pressure for clarity
triggered her to pull away, leaving him feeling abandoned. - Conflict: Instead of holding his ground,
he’d fawn and people-please, erasing his own self-worth
and repelling her further. - Her Focus on Others: A harmless shift in attention—
from him to her friends, work, or hobbies—
would send him into a tailspin of jealousy and insecurity.
And here’s the kicker:
No matter how much therapy, coaching,
or self-help he consumed,
the fear of abandonment still ran the show.
Every woman. Every time.
At 39, successful in his career
but feeling like a complete failure in love,
Curtis hit rock bottom.
He realized:
- He was chasing unhealthy,
unavailable partners while pushing away the secure ones. - His unresolved fear of abandonment
was controlling his every move. - He was abandoning himself in every relationship,
chasing validation like his life depended on it.
When Curtis came to the Overview Experience,
it zapped him like a neon sign:
This need for external validation wasn’t his fault.
It wasn’t a character flaw.
It was a wound.
A wound he was finally ready to face.
For the first time, he:
- Got out of his head and into his body.
- Healed his attachment wounds and learned to self-regulate his emotions.
- Stopped chasing validation and started owning his self-worth.
Within weeks, Curtis connected with a healthy,
secure woman he had previously ghosted—
a relationship he had walked away from
because it didn’t trigger the familiar anxiety he mistook for “chemistry.”
This time, he leaned in.
- He faced his fear of abandonment and alchemized it without letting it control him.
- He turned conflict into intimacy instead of shutting down or fawning.
- He stopped running on anxiety fumes and started showing up as his grounded, secure self.
Now?
- They plan their future together, naturally and without pressure.
- Their triggers are moments of growth, not chaos.
- Their relationship is a source of joy, not anxiety.
When he gets triggered, he knows exactly how to resolve it,
and show up as his healthy masculine magnetic adult self.
(Here’s a share in the community training when he described the shift)
Curtis no longer lives in the fear of “friend zones” or failed relationships.
Instead, he co-creates a relationship built on mutual respect, trust, and security.
This is the transformation that happens when you become Trigger-Proof.
He thought he had done all the things, mastered all the tools,
but still he ended up showing up as a fawner,
with the disease to please, not owning his self worth,
and willing to abandon himself to seek external validation.
He realized that he left one stone unturned:
Becoming Trigger-Proof to his Fear of Abandonment.
No matter who the person was he was dating,
it was his fear of unresolved fear of abandonment that was
in the drivers seat.
During the Overview Experience he saw it clearly,
like a neon sign pointing him to the promised land.
This need for external validation wasn’t even his:
It was something he was born into.
It wasn’t a character flaw.
There was nothing wrong with him.
Within weeks of shifting the frame back into his own body,
his own experience,
Healing his attachment wounds,
he connected with a healthy and secure woman
that over a year ago he ghosted because it didn’t bring up the same
familiar anxiety levels as the unhealthy Trauma Bonded ones he was used to…
and they began the journey together.
Within 2 months of dating he knew she was his person.
And for the first time,
he showed up in a way where she was also “all in”.
He was willing to lean into the fear of abandonment triggers
that naturally pop up, and use them to resource himself further.
He was willing to use his new found skills of turning conflict into deeper intimacy.
Their relationship grows deeper every day,
and his relationship no longer runs on Anxiety fumes.
They plan together.
They envision their future together.
No more “wondering.”
No more “friend zone” or ambiguity.
Their relationship unfolds naturally,
without pressure, without control.
They navigate life’s challenges
without spiraling into fear or self-doubt.
Triggers become opportunities for deeper intimacy,
not signs of failure.
This is what it means to co-create a Trigger-Proof relationship:
- To stop chasing.
- To stop pining and waiting.
- To stop abandoning yourself for connection.
Instead, you show up as your secure,
magnetic, adult self—grounded in your worth,
unshaken by external chaos.
You’ve mastered the art of high-level secure relating,
where your presence alone attracts healthy energy toward you.
And for the first time, you’re open to receiving it.
No more addiction to chaos.
No more pursuit of validation.
No more mistaking anxiety for love.
Imagine what that would feel like.
It happened for Curtis.
It happened for me.
And it can happen for you.
Man or woman,
it doesn’t matter.
But it starts with one decision:
To stop living by patterns that weren’t yours to begin with.
To rewire what didn’t start with you.
To de-condition the beliefs that have kept you stuck.
If you’ve felt trapped in the same cycles—
chasing, overthinking, losing yourself in relationships—this is your moment.
2025 is your year.
Because no one is coming to save you but you.
And the moment you decide to step into your power,
the world will begin to meet you there.
Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima
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This Black Friday, I’m offering $4,500 worth of live training
on the most critical skills necessary to create a Trigger-Proof relationship in 2025.
It’s live on zoom, with 1:1 support, and transformative at home tools for under $400.
This isn’t for everyone. It’s for those ready to:
- Expand their capacity for emotional discomfort.
- Face their triggers instead of avoiding them.
- Show up in relationships as their secure, magnetic, adult self.
Reply with “Send me the details,” and I’ll send everything you need to join the journey.
What is Trigger Proof Transmissions (Cyclebreaker Collective)?
Welcome to the TriggerProof podcast.
This is the first season of the Podcast which are audio renditions of
Facebook Live Video Transmissions done for the “TriggerProof” Facebook Community.
These were set up by request of our community members who wanted an opportunity to listen
to insights, tools, and strategies to help heal relationship dynamics, deepen intimacy,
and master the fine art of Autonomic Nervous System Regulation so that we can build resilience,
heal from the past, and become active operators of our mind, body, and life.
This first season wasn’t designed to be a podcast, so you’ll notice the audio isn’t
Professional Studio Quality (like it is on season 2 as we’ve upgraded incrementally).
These trainings are designed to introduce and deepen you to the most critical 2 skills we’ve never been taught:
1) The skill and practice of taking our triggers (Nervous System Activations) and turning them into deeper safety and self-love,
2) The skill and practice of taking conflict (that happens in any relationship) and turning them into deeper intimacy between the parties involved.
Not learning these two critical skills at this time in history costs us dearly: Physical and Mental health is on the DECLINE.
Doing this deep level of healing work can break the cycle of Intergenerational Trauma that didn’t start with you.
It didn’t start with you, but it can end with you,
#Cyclebreaker.
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Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof