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I find it extremely common that people dread

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workplace meetings. They don't look forward to them.

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There's something that they're demotivated to attend.

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Not everybody, but it doesn't have to be that way. You

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can actually have meetings where people leave energized, they

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leave fulfilled and they're excited about the next one

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because there's some universal, some factors,

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aspects that you can incorporate that will make your meetings

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go much, much.

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We're going to talk about that today in the Decide youe Legacy podcast,

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how to energize your workplace meetings. Three

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keys, aspects you want to keep in mind. And so by the end of

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this podcast, I can promise you that you're going

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to learn a formula that will work. It's not

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complicated that you can implement today in your meeting

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tomorrow and it can work in personal

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meetings as well. So. But we're going to use a lot of the

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illustrations and everything going to be related to the workplace. There's reasons

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for having meetings and you're going to learn how to have very

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productive meetings because it benefits you. There's open communication,

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you're more apt to succeed. You get different perspectives, you make more money,

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you see opportunities you wouldn't have seen before as you communicate. Communication is a

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big deal. You're going to make better decisions and you're going to feel some

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excitement about the future because of the other insight you gain

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during meetings. I'm your host, Adam Gragg. I am a legacy

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coach and a corporate coach. I've been a family therapist for over

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25 years. I founded Decide youe Legacy in 2012 and

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our purpose is helping businesses and people,

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all businesses, all people, live with courage.

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I struggle with meetings myself. I'm a

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guy that puts together agendas at the very last minute.

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I don't like the preparation time that goes into

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actually having a good meeting. I feel scattered.

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I'm a guy who can procrastinate

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on a lot of things and meetings and getting ready to lead them is

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definitely one of them. And I'll even tell myself, you know, I'll put the

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best agenda together or I'll be able to facilitate a great meeting if I wait

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to the last minute because then it'll be all this inspired content that

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I know we need to discuss. Not true, because I go in then

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lacking some confidence because I'm not prepared and I'm doing

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things off the cuff so I can avoid

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and I can get anxious

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during meetings. And I'll tell you if I keep the truth in

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mind about how to have a Great meeting, which I'm going to share with you

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today. And you're going to find one of them incredibly

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fun, something I'm going to recommend. Eventually you'll find it fun,

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but if I keep that in mind, I enjoy them, they go much better. And

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there's a lot of reasons why people

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do dread meetings because they've been in bad ones and

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they've gotten negative feedback. I mean, they've been embarrassed, they've

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maybe even gone in under prepared or maybe they always get

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over prepared for meetings. There's so much pressure they put on themselves

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and that creates this dread as well. Maybe it's their

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mindset that it's going to go bad. Based on what happened in the past,

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it could just even be the potential conflict that can occur.

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Pushing back. You know, I had a meeting with a company,

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just got done with it about an hour ago, and I knew

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everybody involved. It was the third monthly meeting that

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we have had with the ownership of a company. And

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I knew going into it that there was going to be some anxiety

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and there were some situations at the very beginning of the

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meeting that could have derailed it. My job was to keep it out of the

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drama, to turn the drama into something productive. And it actually

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ended very well. I sensed energy, I sensed

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excitement. I, I not perfectly, I mean it,

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there's still future meetings to be had. But I

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sensed this desire to engage at a

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higher level, all these leaders as well. So that was super energizing for

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me. I mean, I'm pretty energized right now. Plus I just came off of a

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two week vacation, which is kind of cool. Having meetings

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where people leave energized, ready to take

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action is not only just possible, but it's something

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that you can learn how to do and it's

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gonna take you doing some things differently

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to get there. So every episode I like to share something that I

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have done recently that was facing a fear. Because

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where our fear is, there lies our task. And what

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I did is at a graduation party on vacation for my

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daughter Emerson, I actually

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facilitated a discussion

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about giving her our best pieces of advice. Becoming 18,

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everyone shared something they could if they were

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to give her advice, they asked for their best piece of advice on

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something she could stop doing, something she could start doing, and then something they hope

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she continues doing. Wrote these things down. And the reason it

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was a risk is because sometimes when I've decided with family to,

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to challenge people to engage in that way, I

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get some negative energy towards me, like you're being a family

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therapist you're trying to control the conversation. But I didn't

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get it this time. And I was surprised actually because everyone jumped

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in, I think partially because we've done these types of things

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in the past with family that I facilitated and they've been

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pretty fun. So maybe they are even wanting me to do this now.

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I can struggle with meetings. I know that you can

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as well. And if you're human like me. So

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the first important aspect of a great

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meeting is to start it off by making it fun

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so that people come in anticipating something fun, to get it

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rolling, something light, engaging,

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not too deep. And have this planned in

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advance. An icebreaker.

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And some of my favorite icebreakers I actually have

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listed in an article that I've written called 17 Fun Icebreakers for

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Workplace Meetings. You can go ahead and go through that list and pick one

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that you can engage in. And I mean you will find that they work

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at family events. I'm Pretty sure all 17 will

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work at family events. So either way, because but couple

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that I like one, and I use this one today as well, is you

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share what your top 90 day personal goal is

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and what you think you can do today to get started

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on that goal. So everybody shares. You get to know more about what

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they are focusing on in their life and then

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they will leave, hopefully energized to take some kind of an action to reach

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that goal. That's a fun one. Of course you may know that one of my

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favorite beginning questions to ask at a meeting is, so what was something positive

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that happened yesterday? Something exciting that you have planned for the

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day ahead? Really good fun icebreaker. Another

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one is what I just shared. You can do it in a workplace meeting. Stop,

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start and continue for yourself. So here's something I want to

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stop. Here's something I want to start. Here's something I want to continue. So everyone

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shares that. That's different than how I use that activity

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in at my daughter Emerson's graduation party.

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But it's a great one. You just do it for yourself personally.

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And another fun one kind of bonus is you have a jar of coins.

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Everyone picks a coin and they share something historical or personal

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that happened during that year listed on

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the coin. And they can use their phones for that too if they want to

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do some research. I don't know, maybe you got to 1925

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coin and you'll remember what happened in 1925 because you weren't alive. So that's number

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one. Make it fun intentionally put energy into making it

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fun. And that's even your attitude about the meeting. Everybody picks up

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their cues off the leader. And there needs to be a facilitator

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in every meeting. It's somebody that keeps it heading in the right direction

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on topic, so that you don't go on a tangent. Because one

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of the reasons people dread meetings is because people may have

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a certain person that easily goes on a tangent

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and then they take up all the oxygen in the room and they demotivate

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everybody and it's just not a good situation. So facilitator, it does

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not have to be the CEO, it does not have to be the president. It's

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simply the person running that meeting. It may be because everybody that's in

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a leadership position has to learn how, in my opinion, to run an effective

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meeting. But it needs to be somebody who's willing to keep that

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meeting on track. There you go. So the second

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aspect of a great meeting is people are going in

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with some level of embracing drama.

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Not loving drama, not looking for drama, not trying to cause drama,

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but embracing the potential that comes out

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of that drama. Seeing it as an opportunity, seeing it as something

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that really needs to be discussed in many cases, sometimes it doesn't, but a lot

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of times it does. Seeing it as something to ask questions about, something to dig

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deeper on. A solution can come out of you, you facing that

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thing that's not being addressed. Your job as a facilitator is to

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be the drama miner. You're actually pulling it out, looking for

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it. You may be prepared to bring up a topic that you know people

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want to avoid, but you are the one who's willing to bring it up. That's

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what I do with companies. I mean, I bring up the topics that as I

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meet with them one on one, people are sharing and then I can

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subtly, in a kind direct way, which is not really

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subtle, but in a way that gets people engaged, bring it out so we can

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have a discussion about it. Not a monologue, not

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a beat up fest, but a discussion so we can

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get insight and then take action based on that.

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Drama. Drama. So you need a facilitator to help you with that. Another

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reason is because if you don't have the leader, if you're not being a leader,

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it will, it will easily get

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directed towards the person who either has the most drama in their life,

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who is naturally wanting to be the center of attention possibly, or

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it'll easily go to the least important topic because

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it's safer to discuss that than, rather than the most important

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topic to discuss. Maybe it's the financial condition of the company or hiring

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somebody new or firing somebody, or the direction of the company. I mean, companies

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frequently. And I heard this just recently, I asked a

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company leader what she thought, what she

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would like the business to look like in 10 years. So creating a vision for

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the business, and she couldn't go there. And she

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identified that there was too much conflict amongst

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the leadership and too poor communication amongst the leadership for

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her to even want to dream that far ahead. And she's

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the president of the company and she wasn't willing to

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because she had to get the organization healthier before she

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could feel she could dream. But I challenge her to step back from

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that and say, hey, you as the leader, have to be casting a vision. I

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mean, it's not going to be the perfect vision, but something that people can grasp

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onto that says, we're going in this direction and we want to

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take you as the team there. We want to help people in this way, want

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to dream big time. So that drama,

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it's being willing to have a conversation about it, being

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willing to ask questions rather than get consumed by it. But if you go

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in good meetings, have some drama, just like a good

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movie, it's going to have some drama. Your life has some drama. Are

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you willing to face it is the challenge. If you're willing to face it and

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see that when you get to the other side of that personal drama in your

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life, then you have all the good stuff on the other side of that, which

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is a huge deal. So the third aspect of a great meeting

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is that it ends with action.

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So this is what I require when I have a meeting

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with my team and then a team that I'm facilitating a

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leadership discussion or an ownership discussion, is that at the very end of

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the meeting. And they know once they've actually gone through some of these meetings, there

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is going to be a couple questions that I'm going to ask. I'm going

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to have them rate the meeting on a scale 1 to 10 and 10

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is high and 1 is low. So they get going to assess the quality of

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that interaction. Today, I got a 6, I got a 7.5, I

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got a 7 and a 7 from a meeting that I was leading of an

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ownership group. And I could look at that and say, oh, I wish it was

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all eights and nines, but, you know, it was still higher than the last one

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and we're trending in the right direction. It was hard, though. It was a hard

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thing. And I felt energized by it anyway because I know that

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things were addressed that were so crucial. So you end with action. And so the

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other question I ask is, you know, what was helpful from this meeting

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today? And people get to share. And in this case today, they

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shared that there was some openness to hearing and

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understanding and letting go of assumptions. They shared that there was

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people interacted in a more positive fashion, that they went

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deeper. One person said, we talked about core issues in a way

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that I didn't think would happen. And she was

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very encouraged by that. So then the third question I ask that

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leads to action is what are you committed to applying from

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today? You know, what are 1, 2, 3

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actions with deadlines that I have them write down

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and then I write down and email out to that group once I'm done with

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that meeting that they can physically see that I'm going to get this thing

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done with a deadline. That action orientation

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creates hope because the dread comes from

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people feeling in meetings that we're not going to make any decisions

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that we act on. So there's not actually going to be any good, positive,

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productive change based on this meeting. I mean, so why would I be looking

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forward to it? It's just a, it's just a

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complain fest. It's just a get together, you know,

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it's just a coffee sipping time. It's not a productive

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workplace meeting. And then if you look at that, it leads to a lack of

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hope because then you think you're going to go back and talk about the same

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stuff the next time you all visit or you think you're going to go back

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and just waste time in the future meetings. But once you can see, and

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I find that once people can see that a meeting can be

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effective, it can be fun, it can be dramatic and we still stick through it,

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we can find productive action to take at the end, then

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they're energized and you have them. You know, after this meeting

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today, I had requests based on, and this is what I get too,

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when it's a good productive meeting is like, when's the next one? When's the next

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one? And wow, I mean, can we do the same thing

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then? You know, and so, and I'll ask them that as well, like what was

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helpful from today? They're giving you feedback. Well, you, you pushed us, you challenged us,

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you kept us on topic and there were a number of times where it could

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have gone on a tangent that derailed the whole thing. But you can do that

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as a leader to say, hey, we're going to focus on this and to do

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that too. I like to think about their being four different types of

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meetings. I learned this from Patrick Lencioni and the advantage. Four key types of

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meetings. So one is called a weekly

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tactical meeting. And at a weekly tactical meeting, you're sharing

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updates on divisions of the company, future plans.

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You're sharing metrics like sales

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metrics, sales calls, revenue. You're sharing

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detailed information about problems in the organization. If there's a mo.

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If there's multiple divisions in that company, then they're

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all giving updates on their section of the company. So that's what's going

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on. And then we're doing a real time agenda, which means

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what is it that you believe we need to discuss in a healthy, effective way

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during this meeting for it to be productive? And people are sharing and there might

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be 8, 10 things depending on the size of the meeting. And then they decide,

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or the leadership decides, or sometimes I decide because I've had times where

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everyone in the meeting seems to not want to talk about what is the most

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essential core issue. And I say, hey, well, if I ask them what

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they want to discuss, they nobody mentions that as a topic they want to discuss.

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And I'm like, well, you guys have mentioned this as a problem and

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you've even identified that this is the thing that needs to be most addressed, but

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for some reason you don't want to. What is that all about? Well, we're going

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to offend this person or that person that's actually in the room. Okay, so what's

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going to offend them about this? Well, they're not going to like the feedback they

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get because it relates to their job and their performance. And even just getting

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that out gives them generally a willingness to say, hey, we're even. From

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the person who is. Who is

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who they're afraid to share this information with. There's an openness because

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we've gotten the elephant out of the room and now we're talking about that, that

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drama. And, and then hopefully over time they see that's going to lead to

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action, positive action, productive action, fun action.

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So they make a commitment and then they can even ask somebody. I often

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assign this with companies, somebody to hold you accountable.

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Accountability is necessary between meetings.

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So big, good stuff. So I went

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to Portland, Oregon over the weekend and

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I was went to see a friend, my friend

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Aaron and Ryan and John

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and another buddy, Max, and another friend, Jeremy. And

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these are all college fraternity brothers. I decided to

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do this fairly last minute because his wife Erin

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sent the invitation out like two weeks ago. And so

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I think he was really surprised that a number of friends flew

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in from out of state to attend. And at the

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very end of this event we came in Friday, we left Sunday morning, we all

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had breakfast together. There was a party, got to meet his friends in Portland, Oregon.

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And I went to college in Eugene, Oregon at the University of Oregon. So I

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know them from, from Oregon. And Aaron and

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his friends I got to meet from that area right there.

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And it was. It was a really great time. It was a blast. But I

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remember at the very end we had a meeting. Basically we went to

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breakfast and we talked about the trip and it was fun

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because we reminisced on the night before. There were some really silly funny

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things that happened at his party and it did involve

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some very random things like a parade in Portland that I never knew

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existed. And I can't really talk too much about it on this, but you can

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look it up. There's a. There's a parade in Portland. It's called

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the. Anyway, it's called the Naked Bike Rice

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Bike Race anyway. But that. That legit

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exists. And it was going by the venue where we

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had our 50th birthday party for Aaron. And

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so people got to be near

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this event. But. But at the very. So we laughed and that was the fun

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part of that meeting. And then, and then there was some talk about when do

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we get together again. And there's some drama in that because some people

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can't make certain dates and other people have ideas about going to a football game.

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Some of the friends had ideas about celebrating another 50th birthday party. Others

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like myself had an idea of meeting somewhere in the middle because I'm the furthest

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away. A little bit of drama. And then there was some action at the end

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like we are committing to

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following up to talk about this as do we organize our

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schedules on this specific date

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ten days from now. And that's not exactly what happened. So

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we didn't totally. We failed the action part because we didn't nail down a

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specific date and a specific commitment. The commitment would have been verbalizing that we want

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to do this again. This was fun. You can do this when you

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practice. Give yourself 90 days. If you're going to

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commit, which is what's required if you're going to have good meetings, if you're going

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to commit to making your meetings much more productive, much more enjoyable, much

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more action oriented, more fun and drama facing fear facing.

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Give it 90 days assess but be all in

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because you won't want to do it when it's hard

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unless you're committed. That's how we work. You know willpower

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doesn't work. You don't will your way in anything. You have to create the environment

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that makes it easy to go downhill. So you schedule the meetings at

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the same time every week? Oh yeah, I was gonna tell you the four different

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types of meetings. The weekly tactical. There's a daily check

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in where people meet in the morning or the afternoon and they check in for

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five or 10 minutes and it happens every day. People go and they share

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it can bring questions for their co workers to that meeting so they know they're

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gonna have that regular consistent time to check in. There's a topical

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meeting which during your tactical meeting you might realize that we

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need to spend some time, a whole hour on this topic. And so you put

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that into the schedule where you're talking about one specific topic and you're

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staying on topic, not off topic. So you have a topical meeting

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that keeps you away from tangents as well. And then there's like a quarterly retreat.

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A way to do strategy, a time to plan strategy. It could be

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on site or off site. I like off site. Get people thinking, get people

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dreaming. So there you have it. So let me summarize

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three different aspects of a great meeting. It's fun. Go

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into it with fun. Have an icebreaker at the beginning. That's fun. Good

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stuff. Embrace the drama is number two. And

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that does mean confronting it at times as a leader.

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Confronting people during these meetings for behavior that you don't think is

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leading towards your goals or their goals and then end with action. So

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there's commitment, there's follow through, there's assignments even potentially

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of who's going to hold people accountable. But, but the main accountability is the fact

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you have a follow up meeting where it's part of it at least where

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you're gonna ask, did you get this done? Well that's two weeks from now, a

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week from now, it could be a month from now. But there's a follow

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up aspect. So if you found this content helpful

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you are gonna wanna check out Shatterproof Yourself

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Lite. So this is a free mini course and in this course

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one aspect of it is relates to

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relationships. It's seven small steps to a giant leap in your mental health.

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So step seven is building true friends. And if you check that

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out, you're gonna see and learn some skills on

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making the types of connections in meetings. Being an

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ace, you gotta look at the course to see what that is so that you

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can help people go further and beyond what they believe. Possible. And that's what a

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good friend does. So check out Shatterproof Yourself Light. Hit the

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link. Don't miss that content. There's a worksheet you can go through as

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well. So in in summary,

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as I said, you know, make it fun, embrace the drama, end with action.

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Remember that nothing will make my day more

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bright than knowing that you have left this podcast with some kind of action that

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you're gonna take based on this content. So send me an email

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share comment below. I'd love to hear about it. Give us a

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rating and review on Apple or Spotify, wherever you get your podcast content. And share

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this episode with your team because I'm sure you

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got other colleagues that do not like meetings. Don't believe it's possible.

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If you are interested in digging deeper, check out the

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Advantage by Patrick Lencioni. He talks about meetings in this book and has a

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bunch of other great content as well. So there's no positive change until

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you decide to change. You can decide today because your

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legacy depends on you acting, doing something about it. To

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decide means to eliminate other options. There's so many options out

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there, and your legacy is the impact that your life is going

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to have on others after you leave

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God's good green earth. So today I want to close the way I always do.

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Live the life today that you want to be remembered for 10 years after

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you're gone. You decide your legacy. Nobody else. I

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appreciate you greatly and I'll see you next time.