Hello everyone and welcome to Bikini's After Babies.
We have another exciting episode to go over with you today.
And of course I am one of your hosts Mandy Rashawn here with your other lovely host.
Hello everyone, I'm Gillian Hughes.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
I'm excited to share today's episode with you.
We're gonna do something a little bit different.
We are a couple days after Mandy has come back from her show opener.
She prepped for this competition for a really long time.
We've been talking about it pretty much since we went live with our podcast.
So we thought it would be fun to do like a little show recap, talk about like how the
show went.
how she's feeling after the show and then thoughts about how the rest of her season
is going to look.
So, yeah.
So where do we want to start?
You want to just kind of start with, you know, your Friday when you got down there
and how you were feeling?
Because I think we had done a bit of a peak week episode last week before you
left.
And so maybe just, yeah.
of covered everything and it went through like exactly what was going to happen like
during peak week.
So I got down to Orlando.
Yeah, I got down to Orlando Thursday.
after, or Thursday morning, I flew out super early and we got there, we really
got settled in, you know, I had, um, went to the grocery store, got my foods that I
needed, you know, it's always really simple in peak week, I mean, it's really
like honey, rice, cakes, you know, very simple things.
So got settled into the condo and just put my feet up and rested.
There isn't too much to do Thursday, kind of just wait for check -ins on Fridays.
Most shows you do check -ins Friday.
So then when Friday rolls around, I was really excited because it's like the
like the day you get your number, you do your registration.
The show I did had an event an hour before registration was open to where you could
go see the stage, you could kind of meet and greet some of the other pros.
So I definitely took advantage of that.
Kind of like, yeah, like if you have an opportunity anywhere at any time to take
advantage of meeting other people, being a part of that community, learning anything,
like this was open to where we could go on the stage, walk around the stage.
The pros actually moved us around.
So it was really fun.
So I went and did that before check -ins and I met, you know, Brittany Hamilton and
I met Laura Lee, which was super cool.
I met Sandy, the head judge and just being able to like immerse yourself into like
the weekend of show weekend.
It's not just stepping on stage.
It's the people, the energy, like everybody's there to, you know, bring
their best package.
So.
Yeah.
Like Joe, I think it's Joe, right?
He does such a great job in promoting the shows and just like, I think he called it
like a dress rehearsal, right?
Which is really nice if you've never competed before and you know, you've not
seen what the stage looks like.
I think it's super helpful just to kind of like walk out there and then also to get
like some feedback from pros and just meet the pros.
Like I remember us talking about like the fact that you had met, you know, some of
these, these pros backstage.
Mm -hmm.
And, uh, and I was like, these are like our celebrities.
Like I wouldn't really care about meeting like Brad Pitt or anything, but you know,
Jen Dory, you know, like would be like, changed my life, right?
Yeah.
So.
cool is it was just so down to earth.
There wasn't, like, you know when you go to a, if you've ever been to a fitness
expo or some type of like thing like that, like a big event, you know, you do have to
wait in line or you do have to kind of like, there's like an expectation on how
it's gonna flow.
This was so open.
It was like just talking and meeting and like chatting.
And they were there all weekend.
So after I did my check -ins, I got my number, you know, everything was
confirmed.
Then I went to tan.
So of course, if you're listening, whenever you go to tan, you're going to be
naked and you're going to be usually 99 % of the time naked with other people or
other women.
So just be prepared for that.
I always forget there's always women back there that are like, oh, we strip naked.
It's like, yeah, you just stand here, strip naked, get your color and like go
about your night.
Right.
everyone's naked.
Yeah.
name and nobody cares.
They're just making sure they get like your even coat.
separate.
Just, you don't want it to sound like it's a big, you know, naked, mixed.
Yeah, they're separate.
I'll never forget, I was at a show one time and I was leaning over a fan because
they were like, your chest, like my, like this part of my body, just my upper, like
my neck and chest area just doesn't dry very quickly.
I just, the tan doesn't stick to it.
Anyways, I was leaning over a fan and.
I look over and this girl was like waving at me and I was like, Hey, and she's like,
I follow you on Instagram.
I was like, Oh, I'm like, um, yeah.
Yeah.
Just eyes up here.
Yeah, it is.
Then they see every the tanning people are just like turn spread, bend at the knees,
push your butt back.
They have a way of wording it.
That doesn't sound like, you know, Lena.
Yeah.
So sorry.
I digress.
So you got tanned.
the tan then you really just go and put your feet up and you know You always
throughout the whole time you talk to your coach your coach is gonna want to like
know how you're feeling They'll probably want some pictures.
They'll ask you to send stuff like every coach is gonna be different So I I
communicate with my coach and you know, just how do I feel?
How do I look the first coat of tan and then Friday night?
I went home and I went to I went to the condo and I went to sleep really early
because My hair and makeup was really early.
It was 4 a .m.
And this was very interesting to me because I had never done such an early
hair and makeup and I had text you like literally I actually looking back on it.
I like it because I got it done so early
that I was done by six and nothing started.
I didn't have to do another coat of tan until like 730, 745.
And then the athlete meet starts at eight and then your show starts at nine.
So like everything really flowed really well.
Nothing was, you weren't late for anything.
You weren't like over, like overbooked or anything.
There wasn't, it was just really smooth.
Like everything was just flowing really well.
So.
But after I did our athlete meeting, you know, really after the athlete meeting,
you just chill backstage.
Like you have all your stuff with you.
You have your cooler blanket, you know, have a robe.
You get your next coat of tan if you need it.
However many coats, everybody's skin's different with that.
Cause there's some girls that need like lots of coats of tan and like I only need
two and I've always been fine.
But everybody's kind of different with that.
So.
always do, I shouldn't be giving this information out on this podcast, but I'm
gonna tell you what I do.
I'm gonna tell you what I do because, okay, here's the caveat.
I'm really short.
I am five foot tall.
So I tend to get in the mix with other little tall girls.
And generally we get like, you know, girls like that have darker skin tones.
And so I tend to look, um,
lighter than everybody else.
I have blonde hair.
So I get the standard tan that they give out, like the one coat on Friday and one
coat on show day.
But I do a tan like a coat of pro tan myself prior to that, just as like a base
tan, because I don't lay in a tanning bed.
I don't like have this year.
I didn't even go on a vacation this winter, but I don't I don't ever have like
a base tan.
And some people do like in the early days of competing.
I definitely used to like lay in the tanning bed.
It was like just what we all did in bodybuilding, but that's one thing that
I've done just to fit into my height class.
And it works for me.
I don't think it's like a must do.
And really honestly, like the spray tan people, their objective is to get
everybody the same shade, which is the big reason why I always say use the event
tanner because they're kind of controlling the color and the shade.
Cause you could be that girl that tans yourself in your hotel room when you come
out and you're lighter than everybody else or you're darker than everybody else.
So, you know, they can adjust according to, but.
I've always done a coat of Protan in my hotel room.
Like usually if I am competing Saturday, I'll usually do it Thursday.
Also, I don't know.
I just feel like it kind of makes me look less like death because you know, you send
those check -in photos like the week of peak week when you're super flat and
you're just like white as a ghost.
I'm like, I need to start looking more alive here.
So that little coat of tan helps.
So it's a little secret that I do.
Ask your coach, but.
flat are just like, ugh.
So.
So for everybody listening, the word flat, what that means is whenever you're very
low, whenever you have low calories and low carbs, your muscle tissue, so like for
bikini, you're looking at your delts, you're looking at your glutes, your
hamstrings, you start noticing that they aren't as poppy, per se, as they were like
three weeks ago, and you look kind of deflated, which you look flat, and that's
because you're depleted.
And so it's not a great feeling because you start noticing,
and you're getting kind of insecure about it.
But it's a part of the process because then whenever you load up or however your
process is to kind of fill back out whatever you and your coaches process is,
then you aren't flat anymore.
But like yeah, those check -in photos where you're like, where did my glutes go?
They weren't there.
makeup, just like 4am.
I know.
Every month, like mine's every Monday.
Well, now it's gonna be tomorrow because I just got back.
So I just, I've actually, I got up at 2 30 this morning and flew, but our flight was
so smooth.
I slept the entire flight and then have been home now and just catching up on
everything.
But, so back to show day.
So on show day, Saturday, I, it,
The pros went on after us.
So we didn't get a chance to see any other pros in the morning.
But in the morning, it just, again, it was just really smooth.
It was a normal show.
It started at nine and you see your lineup and you just follow your lineup.
And...
It's really what it was and then as we got to bikini and I went I went in What was it
masters?
35 D I was and then and which is open and then I did open G and it's always by your
height class if you're listening so for bikini They're always gonna put you
wherever your height classes and I'm like five six and three quarters So I'm always
like right there at like G or D or H or something like that However, like the
promoter lines it up.
So yeah, I went out there and it was it was a lot like I will say I was so
nervous because when I was backstage I was so calm and I feel like just because I'm
used to being backstage so much so it makes like my energy like very bubbly and
happy and it's all good but definitely when I hit the stage and the lights and
the judges and everything as much as I practice it's still like the nerves got me
like hit me in my knees so
Like I watched the live stream and I mean, I couldn't tell.
You just, you looked like so beautiful.
And it was the first time I'd seen the green suit on you, like with like hair and
makeup and everything.
And you know, you just, you looked absolutely amazing.
a lot of good compliments about the green suit on my skin, which I absolutely love.
Like Toxic Angels did a great job with that color.
So, but yeah, so then prejudging was over and then whenever prejudging is over, it
just depends how soon finals come.
We had such a big gap.
So I went back to my condo and I just took a nap.
And it's funny because like,
It's crazy how easy it is to take a nap with all of that energy going.
You just like lay down like a mummy because you don't want to mess your hair
and makeup up and you're like sleep and somehow you just you just go to sleep.
prejudging, tell me how you felt.
Did you have any idea how you had done?
I had sent you some photos and some video.
So how were you feeling about how the morning went?
so happy you asked me this because I actually felt not great.
I didn't and it is just a part of the sport.
So I was very excited going into the show.
I loved my physique.
My measurements have grown.
My whole physique has grown tremendously and my health has grown tremendously.
So I was very, huh?
much as well, like your stage presentation, your maturity in the sport,
like it's a huge, huge change, not just in your physique, your physique has improved.
Like, I mean, you look night and day difference than you did two years ago.
So like so many things have changed.
Sorry, I just wanted to sing your praises a little bit.
I appreciate it.
Because that's like, okay, that's what it took.
So, okay, for one, my husband and my son were with me, but I never liked them to
come to prejudging.
It's something I just like to do by myself.
It really is.
We've gone to enough shows to where I've learned this.
And so I like to be by myself and just be in that time and the moment and absorb it.
And then Erin will take Carson and they actually went to the water park when this
was going on.
So after the show, so for Open Masters D, it was just me.
And that was my first time ever, ever being just me.
Like I've
I've competed so many times and I've never been an only in a category, but it
happens.
So if you're listening, if you register for any category and there is nobody else
in that category with you, you'll by default get first place in that category.
But in prejudging, they'll put you with other girls just so you can be on stage
with other girls.
But for finals, you'll just by default get first place because you're the only one in
that category.
And that's just something you can't control.
You can't control who shows up.
So I did that.
And that was fine.
But when I went for my open class and I had, it was three of us, yeah.
So it was three of us and I did my open class.
And again, I was just mad at myself when I got off stage because I couldn't believe
how nervous I got.
I thought I would have a lot more self -control.
But again, I didn't know what it looked like.
And after you had sent me the videos, I was like, okay, it doesn't even look like
I'm nervous.
I just was nervous.
So.
But I felt like I felt like I could have done so much better.
And so I actually got in my feelings a little bit.
I was like, I was a little defeated and I was like, I can't believe I didn't do as
well as I wanted to do.
And I really wanted to like just shine so bright and blah, blah, blah.
So I got like really in my feelings for a little bit.
And then a mix of things happened.
So between the Uber from like the event to the condo, you were texting me.
Thank you.
Bunch of people were texting me like the girls that you know, we train to friends
in my neighborhood to like everybody just gym people Sharing stuff about me and
everything and I was just like You know, this is a part of it.
This is the sport like you You lose some and you win some and for one.
I didn't even know if I lost anything It's just more I wish I would have done better
But I was like, you know, this is a part of it sometimes you like go in and you
take home all the trophies and sometimes you go in and you like
you get defeated.
So I went back and I did a hotel room photo shoot which was super fun because
all of the girls were asking me for like, what does your glam look like?
And I hadn't had time to stop and take photos of my hair and makeup and all this
stuff.
So I did a hotel room cute photo shoot which was adorable so I could show
everybody my hair and makeup and stew.
And then I took a nap.
and I really like absorbed all of it, you know?
Like I was like, this is so much more than a win or a loss.
This is so much more than just trophies.
This is my first show of the season.
I don't know my feedback.
I don't even know what I technically look like on stage because I haven't had any
pictures.
Like you sent me the live stream, but like the stage shots.
So yeah.
Like, that's so weird, too.
Like, I think that if you practice a lot, like, and you see videos of yourself and
you see a mirror and then you go out there and you're just like, I don't have any
idea, like what that looked like.
Or, I mean, there's been times where I was on the center.
I didn't even know it.
Like, I'm like, I don't even I don't even know where I I ended up, you know, or you
think you totally bombed and then you end up going back at night and, you know, you
end up doing better.
But I think that's where expectations are so hard in this sport.
And I don't think you.
had unrealistic expectations.
I think you realized like what I want is to turn pro.
And so what I need to do is compete on, you know, bigger stages.
And I want to get feedback from Sandy.
And I want to like be tactical and strategic and and grow for the division
and do all these things.
And and I think what's hard about that is like then you go from, you know, maybe you
do a show and there's like 20 bikini girls in the entire show.
And, you know, you walk away with like.
know, first or second, and then you throw yourself in the mix and there's like 150
amazing athletes anybody could turn pro, right?
And so it's so hard to have expectations.
And I think, like what you said about, you know, the feedback you were getting and it
being a positive thing.
I think for me, sometimes I can't look at anything because I can take that two
different ways.
So, you know,
How did you do?
And I don't want to disappoint anybody or let anybody down.
I'm still trying to process kind of everything that went on and I don't really
know anything yet.
I don't want to sound ungrateful.
And you know, there's people that are messaging me that, you know, they just,
you know, followed my entire prep and they're like rooting me on and they, they
want to look like me and I don't want them to feel like bad, like, Hey, I just
totally ate it.
I got last place.
Like I don't, I didn't, I don't want to, cause that was my experience last year at
this exact show that you went to.
Um,
And I, you know, I just, for me, I, I sometimes I just have to put like, I just
need a minute to like think about everything and, and, and yeah, I don't
know if I'm explaining myself very well, but.
so I know exactly what you're talking about.
It was weird.
I felt, I wouldn't say I felt like I was, it wasn't about other people necessarily.
Like I felt like everybody had supported me.
It continues to support me and like all, you know, communicate and everything.
It was more about my mentality.
And I told Erin, I was like, I don't, I'm so happy you weren't with me because I not
only needed that minute to like absorb, I feel like if he was with me, I would have
started speaking negatively and, or,
or speaking not like, not, I don't know how to explain.
I just want to be speaking well, basically.
And that would have gotten into my head instead of, like you said, taking a minute
to be like, this is so much more than just this moment.
This is such a learning moment because like, how many Olympians do you know that
have like placed last or have gotten just, you know, worked over a show?
All of them.
Like all of them at some point in time, like your competing career, you take
losses.
But the thing with the, so, and this is kind of was my turning point was like, I
did the little photo shoot in the hotel room, super fun, put that out there, you
know, communicated with everybody, let them know what was going on, took my nap.
I went back to finals and, and at finals, like again, finals was like, okay.
So I had finals, I got there early.
And I had walked, the pros now were going on before us.
So they were everywhere.
And so were their coaches.
So like, I got to see all the coaches that are like the big name coaches out there.
And they were all being really cool and really sweet.
But I got to meet like the girls that I talked to on Instagram, like to be able to
run into Allie, like, and be like, hey, I just talked to you like the other day on
Instagram.
And then we took pictures together.
And then.
which was so amazing.
qualification, to be able to sit front, like front and center and like watch that
entire, so.
At the show, I had the chance to sit front and watch the whole pro bikini show.
And so I sat there and watched all of their wins and their placings.
When you're in a room and you're experiencing somebody get their Olympia
qualification, it's unreal.
Like the energy, the hard work, it's like the whole room is just elated.
So.
Ali too because of how close she came last year and like everyone loves her and she's
just, she's beautiful and she's so sweet.
Yeah.
videos and we were like talking back and forth and She was just if she was so sweet
like it was Yeah, it was amazing.
It was so cool but so to watch that to take all that in and then I got so of
course by default I got first in my 35 class first is still first and then I got
third in my open class, so
The second I got off stage though, I will tell you, do you know what I did?
immediately ran.
to the judges table because bikini was last.
So I knew that I could get to Sandy and get her feedback immediately.
And like, I like grabbed all my stuff, packed all my stuff.
So my husband and my son and his friends, they were waiting for me already.
They were there and they watched finals and cheered me on and all that stuff.
So I ran to Sandy and I got my feedback and she wanted me to come in, you know,
tighter glutes.
I needed more development in my shoulders and my ab control.
And so it's like, okay, let's take that.
I immediately text my...
coach like the exact words and I was like this is you know the sport and this is
what you do and and now you take this and you grow and you get better so yeah.
is one that she really wants you to come to her right then and there because she's
judging shows every single weekend.
She has a hard time keeping up with all the emails because you can email her for
feedback.
But if you lose that chance to talk to her right then and there, she's going to be
getting to it.
you know, six, eight weeks later because she's so busy and then she might not be
able to give you exactly what you need to hear or with enough time.
Like you have other shows planned this season.
And so that feedback is kind of getting it right then and there.
But I will tell you, like I did a show in Texas and waited around afterwards and
they were kind of like, just email us and they shoot us away.
And I was like, dang, like I really wanted that feedback right then and there because
I had like, I think four weeks until Nationals or whatever.
But what?
So I had met Laura Lee Friday afternoon at the dress rehearsal and I actually was
like in regular street clothes so was she and like we like I met her, took photos,
talked for a second like it was great.
right before finals, like literally right as I was lining up, she walked backstage,
because she was handing out trophies.
She was there all weekend helping.
She walked backstage and she came up to me because she remembered me from Friday, and
now I was all dressed up and her and Aldo were back there.
And she's like, you look so happy on stage.
You look so excited.
And she came up to me, remembered everything, and just like to be able to be
like, that's so cool.
It's just being there, like you said, meeting the people, and
experiencing it and just taking all your feedback.
the placing.
You just cannot just only go off of the placing because look at all of the great
experiences and you know the memories and just you know being there and being a part
of it like you're literally on stage for like 45 seconds you know and then you and
then it's over so fast so you have to like take in the whole experience and and I'm
so glad that you did those photos in your hotel room because you looked fucking
amazing.
You got your
Sudan bodies bangin kick ass tan beautiful hair and makeup like you've got to
celebrate it because I think it's so sad when I've had in the past clients that
I've prepped for shows and they've not they've not worn a bikini in 10 years not
even to the damn pool.
Okay.
And then they decide to do a competition and they work their butt off and then they
get up there and it's their first competition and maybe they don't metal
maybe they place six out of 10 or they get
you know, fifth out of six or and they're not happy with their placing.
And then all that hard work and how beautiful they look is like lost on a
placing.
And it's like, hold on a minute.
Like you just worked your ass off and you look the best you've ever looked.
It can't be about the placing because, you know, we've seen where somebody just takes
a couple more weeks and then they go in and they win a show and they were last
place two weeks before.
So it's like you're that's the game you're playing.
And you have to go into that feeling like you've already won.
You're so happy with your look.
You've got to get the pictures like you don't want to be like, oh, I didn't take
any pictures because I was pissed I didn't get moved into the center or something,
you know?
So but that's hard to do because you really do.
You get like you see yourself and you think, oh, my God, I've never looked this
good.
Oh, my gosh, like.
surely this is a first place physique.
Like I've worked so hard and everybody feels that way and you just don't know
until you get up there and you're compared to everybody else.
And that is like how this sport works.
you go to a show, like you show up at a show and you can feel your best, look your
best, and you want to win, you want to win more than anything.
Of course you want that overall.
But at the same time, if somebody, if like the girls there that show up and they're
better conditioned than you, they have better physique than you, they're better
posing than you, it is what it is.
Like you have to go back to the drawing board and you have to get better.
You have to keep training, keep growing, keep practicing posing, whatever the
feedback is, you know, and you just have to take that.
That's kind of the part of the sport.
And it was interesting because so when the show got done, I...
Like we were, I will say usually I do not go out after shows, but because the show
got done relatively early and my makeup still looked amazing even after 4 a .m.
That was nuts.
I didn't even have to touch it up.
I like washed off the tan and just put on like a cute crop top and like a pin skirt
and then Aaron and I went out to dinner and he needed a break from the kids.
He was with the kids all day.
So yeah, we went out to dinner, a great dinner, like a nice like steak house, but.
I told him, I was like, you know, I've gone to shows and I've won my class and
I've gotten second in big shows and this is one of those shows where it just, it
wasn't like my physique wasn't there.
Like there were girls that showed up that are better than me and now what I do is I
just like, I absorb it and I take the feedback and I work with my coach and you
know, I just keep growing in the sport and that's like what you can do.
exactly.
And I feel like you're in an interesting position now because typically when you
get feedback, you're going to hear you need to grow or you're going to hear you
need to get leaner or you need to get leaner and grow, right?
Like there's a bunch of different things you can kind of hear.
I were very interested that I like the feedback I got was to have tighter glutes.
So yeah.
need to grow your shoulders and you need to grow your glutes.
Like, I feel like that was the kind of feedback that's like, you know, this is
something that you can work on in a short, like it's a short term goal versus like a
long term because sometimes the feedback is like you need to, you know, grow your
lats or, you know, I remember actually in 2018, I think my feedback was I had to
grow into my boobs.
That's some solid feedback.
what?
I didn't hear it again.
So I guess I grew into my boobs, but, um, yeah, that was literally my feedback.
Um, so obviously if you hear something like that, it's like, well, you're not
going to be able to grow muscle, um, that quickly.
You need to take a good building season.
Right.
So now with the feedback that you've gotten, and I feel like I've been pressing
you for an answer now for like,
three days, because I'm dying to know what are your next steps and what are you going
to?
I'll know this week.
Girl, I woke up at 2 -3 this morning and flew home.
I just got home.
I just think you kind of, I feel like everybody kind of knows in their heart of
hearts, like if their season's done or whatnot.
it's just a toss up, honestly, because I would still like to train and see if I can
do Masters Universe, because I did qualify for Masters.
I would also still like to keep touching the stage this year just to get my
abdominal control and fluidity with posing better.
No matter how many times you practice that at your own house, in your posing room, at
your gym, you're never gonna get the experience as you would on stage.
So.
yeah.
have those kinds of things.
I'm still like, my coach and I are still kind of talking about it, but like she's
open to the summer.
So like what I want to do this summer here in like, you know, July or further,
absolutely.
So, but, and I will say like as soon as...
When I got off stage and Erin and I went out to eat like always Every again
everybody's gonna be kind of different But I would always kind of just try to be
responsible with your reverse diet like I immediately got my reverse diet I
communicated how I was gonna eat I still like prepped my food when I was At the
condo I still had like my chicken and veggies egg whites and veggies and then I
spread out my food through the day like I knew I was gonna eat dinner so I knew I
was gonna have this or that I always try to keep walking around because
body's so sensitive and you don't want to have like feel like shit so I just was
kind of mindful of that.
Like, I think it's important to think about what you're going to eat the day
after the show.
Like, if you do travel, make sure you've taken food for Sunday, you know, the day
you travel home.
And like, I think protein is what's like really important.
Like having, you know, that on hand and keeping on top of your supplements,
because you just don't want to have like, you know, you can feel really sick.
And that's that sucks.
You know, if you're it's a day after the show and.
horrible feeling because like it's not a normal sick like you feel like you just
have this bowling ball in your belly and you're stuck like you're literally just
stuck until it figures out and it's horrible.
too, because like I've had some show days where I my whole day was just like weird
stuff, like stuff I would eat all the time.
But like, I don't usually eat veggies on show day.
I don't usually have my typical breakfast.
I eat really light on show day.
And, you know, I might have had, you know, eight rice cakes, but I didn't actually
have a meal.
And then like the show got done.
And then I went and had like.
you know, a glass of wine and some fries or like, you know, it's just a weird day
of food.
So sometimes like I feel pressured like the Sunday afterwards.
I'm like, I kind of just want to eat like healthy food and like have veggies and
stuff because I just don't feel great, you know.
like Sunday or Saturday when the show got out and the boys because it was so early
the boys were like What do you want to do?
And I'm like, I'm not even hungry like I wasn't even hungry.
I was just like I literally just had like Food before I went on stage, which was
like you said rice cakes and some honey or something I'm like, I was like, let's just
go back to the condo.
Let's like refresh like I don't know I know I know it's best to eat steak or some
like very good amount of like healthy protein and stuff after so like Erin did a
really great job.
We had this
steak restaurant we went to.
But like you said, it's like, I think now that I've done it so many times that it's
like, I don't feel the pressure anymore, but man, some of these girlies backstage,
they are counting down hours for they can eat that deep dish pizza.
And I'm like, mm -mm, you're gonna hurt, it's gonna hurt.
So, but it is what it is.
Everybody kind of goes through it, you know?
Yeah, I think that's something I just kind of like grew out of.
Like, and I think that's also like this prep to like I'm in my 40s now.
I've been competing a long time and my whole attitude about food is totally
different.
But like when I first started competing, like I would have a suitcase and it would
have all my stuff in it.
There'd be tons of treats and stuff.
I don't even buy anything.
I don't buy anything anymore.
Like I just don't think about it.
And it's not that I don't enjoy those things.
Like I'm not like a robot, but like I just don't I don't think about it.
But man, you see people backstage with like.
They got a whole carton of donuts and they've got tons that they baked and
stuff.
I'm like, oh my God, like, is there, are we going into like some sort of like a
famine and like we need to have enough food to like, you know, last for a week?
Like it's going to be okay.
You're going to be able to get like pop charts.
I don't know.
going anywhere.
And that's the thing too, like, that's why I want, like, I can't even imagine
bringing food like that anymore.
Like, it doesn't even, like, register.
Because I'm like, if I ever really wanted something, I could literally order it from
my phone.
Like, be real here.
But, and also, like, I'm on vacation with my family.
Like, I wanna feel good, I wanna walk around, I wanna spend time with them.
So, like, I'm very, like, I'm very mindful of, like, I know what agrees with my
stomach and I know what doesn't agree with my stomach.
And so, I also,
know like I've been pretty depleted.
So if I eat more carb friendly things than more like dairy friendly things, it's
gonna go better for me.
So like, you know, I did like, I cooked some of my own stuff and did I have
treats?
Absolutely.
Like I ate a burger, I had sushi.
I actually had bread pudding the other night too, which was, I don't know, it
just, we were walking around and it looked good.
And so like, I did have treats here and there, but it's all spread out and it's
all like in like a four, three, four day time.
stuffing yourself bites of things and yeah.
I always try to like walk around and this was probably the first like time.
I want to say the first time but like a first time on vacation with a show that
like I had no stomach problems I actually felt fantastic.
I was at the pool every day.
My girlfriends came to visit me, which was super cool That was very exciting So a few
of my girlfriends moved to Florida last year and they're in two different
locations in Florida but they both came and they like hung out with me at my
resort and we were the poolside and so that was super fun, but like It was just
like wanting to do that.
Like I don't want to feel like crap, right?
like I ate normal food, my normal food, right?
Chicken, veggies, egg whites, veggies, you know, protein shake, whatever.
But no, it just...
it makes it too hard to get back on track.
And, you know, if your shows are like separated by like two to four weeks, you
know, you got to get right back on the diet on Monday.
And so if you're like trying to metabolize a bunch of like processed food and junk,
it just makes like it makes that chicken and egg whites look not as exciting, even
though it's something that you really enjoy eating.
But there's just something slightly addictive about those foods.
you know, just processed foods and sugar.
And it's like you have a little bit and then you end up wanting more like that's
kind of why when I'm in a prep, my cheat meals are generally pretty clean because I
don't want to crave all that stuff.
And I feel like if I have a little bit, then I just like turn into like a crack
head and for like three days is like all I can think about.
So I just don't have any.
You what?
I plan my bad food.
So this Saturday actually is my bad food day.
It's so funny.
I've been planning it for like a couple, yes.
Yeah, so we're gonna go to the movie theaters and my unhealthy, bingey thing to
eat is movie theater popcorn with M &Ms.
And so we're going to the movie theater Saturday.
the M &M's in the popcorn, but you don't, you eat them separately.
right.
We did talk about this because I have it aside it.
I just eat them together, but like not together together.
So, but no, that's my.
that I like, love.
I think I mentioned I love the truffle fries, but I also love these stupid ass
Haribo berries.
They're so, they're like, no, they're berries.
And the pack is like got, they're like black and red.
And they're like, they look like raspberries.
And so they're kind of crunchy, but they're like a gummy on the inside.
Hmm.
love those.
My husband knows he always gets me two packs of those and stores them somewhere
in the house for like after my show.
And then I love a fat Kit Kat.
It has to be the fat one, not like the four bar.
It's like one big, huge fat Kit Kat.
And those are like after a show, that's like really the only thing I think about
having.
And then I'm like, okay, it's out of my system and I'm good.
Now I can't stop thinking about it.
I will say after the show, I didn't even think about anything.
There wasn't anything specific I was craving.
There wasn't.
I kind of just went with the flow.
Huh?
Yeah.
you know, you weren't like telling me like, I am so starving, I want to eat my
arm off.
And that's generally like when somebody's kind of saying those things.
And like, we all have those days and we have our moments where you do feel really,
really hungry.
But I think if that is like in the forefront of your brain in the final weeks
of your prep, then that off season, you really need a lot of support from your
coach, like in that immediate reverse phase because.
that can be like really hard.
You know, if you've been watching Food Network and thinking about all the things
you want to eat after the show, like you've got to be, you know, really, really
work with your coach and you almost need more guidance and support in that post
-competition phase than you did in the prep, really, if you can imagine, but it's
important.
to do it yourself because you're gonna overthink something or you're gonna under
think something and then it's gonna cause you to overeat or it's gonna cause you to
Undereat and it's gonna cause you to question and it's gonna mentally be
exhausting and you're just never gonna feel like you're progressing and you're
gonna question everything you do like that's what I see a lot of people that try
Try to train themselves and try to be an offseason by themselves It's what it
always seems to happen that when you're in an offseason without any guidance at all
You do I don't want to say binge eat, but you just end up
eating more than what you actually should.
And then when you go into a prep, and I've actually experienced with like guys and
girls, I've seen this, when you do go into a prep and you do go back to your prep
coach, you don't even go back into a prep, your prep coach has to basically take you
as a weight loss client first and then you can go into a prep because you did your
off season, not in an off season, you just ate like shit and weight lifted.
So like there was no structure.
poor self -reporting or not keeping track of anything at all.
And like, cause I'll hear people say like, I make good choices.
I'm like, how do you know how much protein you're getting?
Like, are you tracking your volume in the gym?
Like, I think, I think if you want to really coach yourself in an off season,
then you have to treat yourself like you, like you got to check -ins with yourself.
You got to be able to report exactly what you ate.
Mm -hmm.
do that.
Like, I mean, and I'm coach, I've been coaching for like 15 years and I have a
coach all year round because, um, I just, it's that important to me.
And I also just, I'm more accountable to someone else than I am to myself.
Do I know how to do it?
Yeah.
But it's so nice to have somebody that just I'm checking in with and, but yeah,
people just don't, they don't self -report accurately.
And you know, they just, okay, I think I've put some muscle on.
It's like, no, babe, I don't know that that's all muscle.
Oh, it's like, oh, I only ate this many carbs on Monday and Tuesday, so I can go
out Wednesday with my friends and eat this many carbs.
It's like, how many carbs did you really?
Yeah, like, you just don't know.
to gain weight or they're like, oh, I'm only up four pounds from stage weight.
I'm like, why are we celebrating that?
Well, don't celebrate that.
Like, okay, good for you, but are you miserable?
Like, do you have balance?
Like, are you doing tons of cardio?
I don't want to prep somebody who's coming in 16 weeks out doing 45 minutes of cardio
a day, eating a hundred grams of carbs.
Where are we going to go from there?
Right?
So I don't think that should be celebrated.
I think that.
I'm not saying I'm not giving a number as to what I think people should do, but I
don't think that we should be like, oh, yay.
Like because I don't think that means anything, first of all.
But if you want to improve and you've stayed, you know, within four pounds of
your stage weight, like where you focus more on staying skinny or were you
focusing on lifting and trying to grow?
You know, I just don't I don't know.
It's my two cents.
to your goals.
Like, are you trying to grow in the sport and try to become more competitive?
Then you need to have that off season, that build season.
Do you need to go crazy and gain however X amount of weight and like eat like an
asshole?
No, but there is absolutely structure to it.
That's like in my off season, I ate more than I ever had before, but I had a coach
that geared it to where I was, you know, over 2000 plus calories and I was doing
very low cardio and...
though, like there was like a transition.
Yeah.
Because you did check -ins weekly.
And then you had a coach that was overseeing you.
And then it's like, OK, this is what's happening.
So trying to do that yourself is tricky.
And like, look, Instagram is not the judge, okay?
So like, oh wow, she looks great.
She still has abs and she competed six months ago.
Okay, well, the people looking at Instagram are not the same people that are
gonna be judging you at the show.
You have to think about what you really wanna do.
If you wanna look great for Instagram, that's fine, but it does not equate to a
placing in the show.
You have to sort of separate yourself and go, okay, I might not be comfortable.
doing fitness photos for a little while while I focus on growing my glutes.
I mean, I had to do it this winter.
I was like, you know, I was covered up like because I and still that I was
uncomfortable.
I was like, this isn't what people expect.
People don't expect for me to have rolls on my back and, you know, cellulite and
all this stuff.
You know, I'm showing up on Instagram as a competitor and a coach and whatnot.
I know what I'm doing.
Like, I don't feel like I'm out of control.
This is all intentional.
It's very deliberate and it feels very controlled.
I'm not like.
oops, I lost track of my ways and I've gained all this weight.
But just for my own comfort, I sort of just, you know, stayed a little covered
up.
But people don't see that.
They're just like, oh, you had abs all along.
I'm like, no, you just didn't see me when I was like 17 pounds heavier.
But that's what I had to do in order to put on size and and grow.
And, you know, and that's just different for everybody.
But I don't know, that's just probably too much.
husband the other day about...
actually it was today, it was this morning, oh my god it's already been a
long day.
But about people that are just genetically different.
As we get older, I remember like you were saying, you see people on Instagram where
you're like, I want to eat like that, I want to look like that, I want to be like
that.
And there was this girl that I was like that with.
I was like, she's so pretty, she's always so fit, and she always gets to go out and
have a good time, and I want to do that too, right?
And she was a competitor, this was
a lot like she competed a long time ago, but.
I would be like, how can she go out and drink on weekends and eat and go do all
this stuff and then hop on stage in six weeks?
And she would say that.
She's like, oh, I just prep myself and it takes me like 12 weeks.
Granted, this was a couple years ago, so it's not like this day and age of muscular
density.
But it was just like, I would look at that and be like, why can't I do that?
And I would try to do that.
I would work out.
This is back when I would still drink alcohol.
And I would drink and I would do.
like she was doing my body was like no Mandy?
No that doesn't work for you And it would not and it's just you have to embrace that
everybody's body is different everybody's genetic makeup is different and like What
you do and you eat is not going to be the same as what your best friend has to do or
has to eat and your progress is always going to be different than everybody
else's and You can't do what people do on Instagram because you never know
are lying.
So, or they're not telling you like everything.
Yeah.
You don't know that they're doing other things.
You know, you just don't know.
So yeah, that can, that can be tough.
I feel like you get to that place where you understand like, ah, you know, half of
what I'm reading is, is BS anyways.
But yeah, certainly like even just in the early days when I would, you know, be
doing tons of cardio and I would be, you know, see people like flexible dieting and
doing like,
10 minutes of cardio a day.
I was like, Oh, it's such a fat ass.
How could we have to do so much cardio?
But you know, everybody's everybody's different.
And when you get to the higher level, you realize like, yeah, all the pros are doing
a lot of cardio, you know, like it's very rare that someone isn't doing much.
But you also have to look at, OK, well, have they already done six shows this
season?
And, you know, they're just trying to, you know, get one more show in or, you know,
you don't know.
Everybody's different.
Your body can change, too.
So, yeah, it's it's yeah, it can be crazy.
But.
But it was a great show weekend.
Like it was.
You looked amazing.
And I'm so excited to kind of talk to you over these next couple of weeks and see
where your heart is.
OK.
my strategy of the rest of this year or my next show at least.
But it was like this show weekend was absolutely fantastic.
Like meeting everybody, getting the feedback, getting back on stage, getting,
I like getting hair and makeup done.
It's always fun.
I loved all like Erin did such a great job with like the kids and he surprised me
with a necklace and it was super cute and flowers and dinners and balloons.
I didn't even send you a picture of that.
There was balloons.
know it was dark whenever we got back and so he had these balloons in the condo when
we got back and was like congratulations is super cute so just and then spending
time with him and massages and seeing my friends and it just it was like an
absolutely like incredible show weekend vacation and
awesome.
Well, good.
Well, you did amazing.
You represented very well.
You looked stunning.
And I'm excited to continue on the season with you.
And hopefully we'll have show day together.
Can't wait.
Yeah, that'll be fun.
the dream, right?
yeah, for sure.
So awesome.
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