What to do when clients don't take your advice.
This is, uh, an interesting topic that I saw on Twitter.
Uh, Frank McClung, who's a website strategist.
Kind of posited this.
This, this thought that, that I thought was worth kind of riffing on a little bit.
Yeah, he says, I wonder what goes on in our mind.
That we would ask a seasoned expert for their advice about an issue and
then disregard it to follow our own.
And I think this is a pretty common, potentially a common
situation either for you.
As the person asking for advice or as the person giving advice.
And I think the thing to unpack in this situation is, is a few things,
you know, obviously if they're asking you for advice, they trust you to
some degree and we'll assume that, that you are an expert in it and that.
That, that your clients do trust you to some degree.
And obviously the people are still, they still know they're
responsible for their own outcomes.
So they're still going to kind of decide for themselves whether they're
going to take your advice or not.
So, how do you make your advice more likely?
Uh, to be the right advice.
And how do you make.
People more likely to take your advice.
So outside of obviously.
Being more credible and doing better work.
I'm going to assume that you're already credible and doing great work.
One of the things that I've noticed is that when giving advice, I'll start from
that perspective, it's easy to just sort of throw out ideas and to say, okay,
here's what maybe you could do or here's what you here's, what, what I might do.
Whereas I think we, what we need to do as advisors is to pause is to ask our
ourselves is to ask our clients, what, what are you thinking about doing already?
What have you tried?
And what are you thinking?
What are the top one or two or three options that you have to help you get
to this outcome that you're trying to go for and assume you have to really
get clear on their goals up front.
So if you, if you're not clear on the goals, start with that.
Then ask them.
What are the, what are they considering doing?
What are they thinking about trying?
And then at least you can discuss those things.
You can ask some follow-up questions about why those ideas.
Are important or why you're landing on those ideas?
Why.
You think they may be the best choice?
Uh, you know, you could say.
Of the three, which do you think is the right choice for you and why?
So by asking more questions and at least starting with the.
Starting with the information that you're being given is, you know,
trusting the person who's asking you for advice to have more contextual
knowledge about their situation.
Maybe they don't have all the knowledge that you do in terms of the life
experience and the pattern matching.
And.
And everything else, according to your area of expertise.
So that's that's aside, but what you want to do is collect all that very
contextual information and, and, and judgment and say, you know, ultimately,
what is, what is your, what, what are you feeling is the best option for you?
Because sometimes our intuition is also very powerful.
So sometimes they may not even be able to articulate.
Why they think one option is the best and that's where you want to
really probe and ask questions.
I am a big believer that your intuition is important.
And they, you should listen to it.
And if you're not satisfied with the advice you're being given.
That you should ask additional questions or provide additional context.
So if you're giving, if you're asking for advice, you want to say,
here's what I'm thinking about doing.
And here's base based on my goals, why I think these are important or here's what
my, what my road mental roadblock is.
And if you're asking for, if you're giving advice, rather than just
giving it out, you want to ask them those same kinds of questions.
What are your goals?
What do you think is right?
What's your, what's your, what's your gut telling you?
What's your, you know, what's your intuition saying?
And then you can at least talk through it, then you can say, okay.
Based on your goals and based on your intuition.
And based on the reason for all these things.
Here's what I would recommend you consider.
Here's what I recommend you do.
And then you can sort of break out some ideas and options.
And then turn that around as a sounding board for them.
And so now it's their job to say, okay, this is what resonates with this.
Makes sense because at the end of the day, a lot of times when people
are coming to you for advice, In many cases, not all, sometimes, sometimes
you just have no idea what to do, and sometimes you have these intuitions,
but sometimes you're looking for someone to basically give you permission to.
To do the thing that you already want to do.
And maybe it feels risky or maybe if.
Maybe it feels like it may not work and you're in a way you're kind of
looking for someone else to sort of.
Alleviate that pressure.
I'm going to do this thing.
It's probably the wrong decision, but I just want someone to give me permission
to do it so I can go ahead and do it.
And so the real question you have to ask yourself when you're asking advice, is
am I looking for confirmation of the idea that I already have, in which case at
least just be transparent about here's the idea that I think I have and here.
You know, it might be scary to have you poke holes in it, but let's,
let's just go through this exercise.
And if you're giving advice, at least you can come from a place where you would
know what their, what their knowledge is because that's the, the, the front lines.
You know, knowledge on the situation.
And then you can have a little bit more of an informed, contextual situation
about the advice rather than giving you general, rather than giving out general
advice, you can help them basically match the specifics of their situation.
Through asking questions through probing, through checking on things.
And so you may have a solution that jumps to mind, but then
exploring their solution.
First through that lens.
It gives you an advantage of very local knowledge.
As well as your own more experienced pattern matching that you can do
as, as the expert on the situation.
So I think that's the, that's the, uh, The kind of the gist
of what I wanted to get across.
If clients are taking your advice, it might be that you're
not asking them enough questions.
It might be that you're not asking them what they think they should do.
The top one, two or three things that they, that they think they should do.
And then following up with additional questions.
It might be that you don't fully understand their goals because
what's right in one situation will be very different than what's right.
In another situation, based on the goal horizons, based on how long.
People have to achieve the goals and what the specifics of their goals
actually are and why they matter to them.
So that context really matters.
And that's why it's really hard to give advice on sort of one-off calls or.
You know, in a bite-sized format.
The sum.
Yeah.
So.
All of this wrap up is.
If you're not, if someone isn't taking your advice.
And assuming you're credible and you have expertise.
First of all.
I never convince anyone to take my advice.
It's here's, here's my thinking.
Here's the reasoning.
Why?
And here's where, where my head is that when, why you should do, based
on all the things I know about you.
But I never try to convince or enforce it.
But if they're going to go another direction, I do want to understand
why and what is it about their, their goals and, and the, the tactics.
'cause sometimes it's.
And they're misdiagnosing the problem.
Sometimes they are.
Uh, sometimes they are not thinking about all the things that.
You know, That could go wrong.
Sometimes it's a comfort zone issue.
And if that's the case, then you want to at least help them either
break through that comfort zone and get them to the thing that's
actually going to get them a result.
But sometimes their ideas are just great.
And so, you know, that's why you want to know that because general advice is not
the same as specific contextual advice.
So.
If you're asking for advice, I would say.
Give them what you're thinking are the best options for you.
And if you're the one receiving advice or the one giving advice rather.
Um, asking those questions around goals and around.
Um, what they believe is the best fit for them.
We'll help you not only create the best possible results.
But also you'll get more buy-in because the person will have felt
like they've been properly seen and heard around their ideas.
Before you've given them advice, especially when the advice
doesn't fit neatly with what they're expecting or wanting.
Because again, some of us are just looking for permission to
do what we already want to do.
But sometimes we need to be saved from ourselves as well.
So it's good to know how much of their thinking is, is good.
And how much of it is feeling comfortable.
I need to feel comfortable and safe based on maybe old
thinking or incomplete thinking.
And that's the tricky part of giving advice.
So whether you're asking, you're giving.
I hope these tips are helpful for you.
And uh we'll leave it there bye for now