1 00:00:00,020 --> 00:00:02,390 Carol Cox: We have more live signature talks from our 2 00:00:02,390 --> 00:00:03,830 Thought Leader Academy grads. 3 00:00:03,950 --> 00:00:06,230 Listen in to the power of storytelling on 4 00:00:06,230 --> 00:00:07,970 this episode of the Speaking Your Brand 5 00:00:07,970 --> 00:00:14,620 podcast. More and more women are making an 6 00:00:14,620 --> 00:00:17,320 impact by starting businesses, running for 7 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:20,230 office and speaking up for what matters. 8 00:00:20,260 --> 00:00:22,480 With my background as a TV political 9 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:25,360 analyst, entrepreneur and speaker, I 10 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,820 interview and coach purpose driven women to 11 00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:30,340 shape their brands, grow their companies, 12 00:00:30,340 --> 00:00:32,980 and become recognized as influencers in 13 00:00:32,980 --> 00:00:36,340 their field. This is speaking your brand, 14 00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:38,830 your place to learn how to persuasively 15 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:42,190 communicate your message to your audience. 16 00:00:42,820 --> 00:00:45,790 Diane Diaz: Hi everybody, and welcome to backstage at 17 00:00:45,790 --> 00:00:46,870 Speaking Your Brand. 18 00:00:46,900 --> 00:00:49,210 I am lead speaking coach as speaking your 19 00:00:49,210 --> 00:00:51,370 brand and I am so thrilled to bring to you 20 00:00:51,370 --> 00:00:54,130 today two of our recent graduates from our 21 00:00:54,130 --> 00:00:55,420 Thought Leader Academy. 22 00:00:55,420 --> 00:01:00,430 We have today, Cindy Ojczyk, who is a writer 23 00:01:00,430 --> 00:01:03,790 and speaker, and she shares stories and 24 00:01:03,790 --> 00:01:06,340 resources to help strengthen the fiber that 25 00:01:06,340 --> 00:01:08,770 binds people and pets, which is a really fun 26 00:01:08,770 --> 00:01:11,290 topic. And then we have Amy Lewis Bear, who 27 00:01:11,290 --> 00:01:13,300 is a licensed professional counselor and 28 00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:15,130 owner of Heart Wise Counseling. 29 00:01:15,130 --> 00:01:17,800 Amy is also an author, and she will be 30 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,720 chatting with us about that in just a 31 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,450 moment. When we get into those details she's 32 00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,400 authoring. She's already written one book 33 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,620 called From Charm to Harm, but she has 34 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,210 another book coming out soon, so we'll talk 35 00:01:28,210 --> 00:01:29,530 about that in a moment. 36 00:01:29,530 --> 00:01:33,190 Now, um, last week here on backstage at 37 00:01:33,190 --> 00:01:34,840 Speaking Your Brand, you heard from two 38 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,220 other graduates of our Thought Leader 39 00:01:36,220 --> 00:01:39,460 Academy, and you got to hear ten minutes of 40 00:01:39,460 --> 00:01:41,380 their talks that they worked on during the 41 00:01:41,380 --> 00:01:43,480 Thought Leader Academy. So today we're going 42 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:46,150 to hear a portion of Cindy's talk. 43 00:01:46,150 --> 00:01:48,370 So I'm excited for you all to hear from her. 44 00:01:48,370 --> 00:01:52,300 Now, um, you've probably heard about the 45 00:01:52,300 --> 00:01:54,970 concept of storytelling that we talk about 46 00:01:54,970 --> 00:01:56,530 in all the content that we put out. 47 00:01:56,530 --> 00:01:57,790 And so we're going to talk a little bit more 48 00:01:57,790 --> 00:01:59,770 about that when we get into the roundtable 49 00:01:59,770 --> 00:02:04,030 discussion about about what Cindy and Amy 50 00:02:04,030 --> 00:02:05,650 have worked on in their talks. 51 00:02:05,650 --> 00:02:09,220 So listen, as you hear Cindy's talk and 52 00:02:09,220 --> 00:02:11,500 listen for those stories, and then Amy will 53 00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:13,450 be sharing with us how she incorporated 54 00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:15,310 story into her talks as well. 55 00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:17,710 Um, and you'll see the how personal the 56 00:02:17,710 --> 00:02:20,110 stories get. And we often say go very 57 00:02:20,110 --> 00:02:21,880 personal, because the more personal you get, 58 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,620 the more universal the message is. 59 00:02:23,650 --> 00:02:25,990 And I think that you'll see that when Cindy 60 00:02:25,990 --> 00:02:28,720 delivers the portion of her talk today. 61 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,090 So I'm really excited for everybody to hear 62 00:02:31,090 --> 00:02:34,420 from Cindy and to hear Amy's story as well. 63 00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:37,630 Now, Cindy, are you ready? 64 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,100 I am ready, Diane. 65 00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:40,210 Great. All right. 66 00:02:40,210 --> 00:02:43,240 Well, let me bring your slides up here and 67 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:44,410 then take it away. 68 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:48,430 Cindy Ojczyk: Thank you Diane, and welcome everyone. 69 00:02:48,430 --> 00:02:51,160 I'm going to kick us off with a little Q and 70 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,010 A with a show of hands. 71 00:02:54,010 --> 00:02:57,400 How many people here have a pet or have had 72 00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:01,600 a pet? Now, in the chat, I'd like you to 73 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:04,240 answer this much more controversial question 74 00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:06,220 who rules the world? 75 00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:08,230 Cats or dogs? 76 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,440 Now, I'm sure you're wondering why am I 77 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,140 talking about pets when I'm here to talk 78 00:03:14,140 --> 00:03:15,310 about parenting? 79 00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:19,090 It was our family's unconventional 80 00:03:19,090 --> 00:03:22,780 experience with animals that allowed us to 81 00:03:22,780 --> 00:03:25,720 take some lessons that helped our children 82 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,810 to become much more resilient and to 83 00:03:28,810 --> 00:03:31,480 reconnect our family. 84 00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:36,670 Now. Our journey began about well. 85 00:03:36,670 --> 00:03:38,920 During a 4th of July weekend, a fateful 4th 86 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:40,240 of July weekend. 87 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,880 The fireworks had stopped, the kids had gone 88 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:46,720 to bed, and my husband and I were able to 89 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,150 coax the dog out from underneath the bed. 90 00:03:49,150 --> 00:03:52,750 We took her downstairs, got her outside and 91 00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:55,750 she collapsed and she passed away. 92 00:03:55,750 --> 00:04:00,280 And in that earthquake of a moment, we had a 93 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:03,370 tsunami response. 94 00:04:03,370 --> 00:04:06,760 The kids began to argue and fight at a level 95 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,800 we had never seen before. 96 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,080 Yeah, they'd fought before and they argued 97 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:13,600 with us, but they were fighting. 98 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,580 They were pulling away from their friends, 99 00:04:15,580 --> 00:04:18,460 they were pulling away from us, and their 100 00:04:18,460 --> 00:04:21,400 performance at school was dropping. 101 00:04:21,820 --> 00:04:24,220 I was trying to figure out what had happened 102 00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:26,170 to this group. 103 00:04:26,170 --> 00:04:29,050 Oh, we have a funny sideways slide. 104 00:04:29,050 --> 00:04:31,810 What happened to our sideways family? 105 00:04:31,810 --> 00:04:33,640 How did we go sideways? 106 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:37,090 We had this great connection from the time 107 00:04:37,090 --> 00:04:39,370 they were born, up until the teen years 108 00:04:39,370 --> 00:04:41,920 where we were doing things together, hiking 109 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:45,070 and biking and camping and cooking, working 110 00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:47,650 with our neighbors next door to till their 111 00:04:47,650 --> 00:04:50,230 gardens, and then working at school and 112 00:04:50,230 --> 00:04:53,050 working hard. And two years prior to the dog 113 00:04:53,050 --> 00:04:56,380 dying, my father in law had passed away and 114 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:59,830 we had come together as a family to heal 115 00:04:59,830 --> 00:05:02,080 each other, to console each other. 116 00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:05,320 We didn't have any of that happening now, 117 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,210 and I couldn't figure it out. 118 00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:11,200 The only thing I can think of because I'm a 119 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,960 smart woman. I used to, before I became a 120 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:15,850 writer, used to be an interior designer, and 121 00:05:15,850 --> 00:05:18,040 I could do a whole kitchen remodels, whole 122 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:21,310 house remodels, solve problems, help guide 123 00:05:21,310 --> 00:05:24,130 people. What could I do with the kids? 124 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,290 Well, the one thing I thought about was our 125 00:05:26,290 --> 00:05:29,470 dog. When we'd gone through the grief with 126 00:05:29,470 --> 00:05:31,330 my father in law, we had a dog. 127 00:05:31,570 --> 00:05:33,880 We didn't have a dog now, so I thought maybe 128 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,310 if we got another dog, we could solve this 129 00:05:36,310 --> 00:05:40,120 grief. The next day at dinner, I sat down 130 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,950 with the family and said, what do you think 131 00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:44,380 about adopting another dog? 132 00:05:44,950 --> 00:05:48,190 And the next tsunami hit our family. 133 00:05:48,190 --> 00:05:49,810 The wave of mom. 134 00:05:49,810 --> 00:05:51,970 I'm oldest. I should get what I want and 135 00:05:51,970 --> 00:05:54,340 mom, I'm youngest, I should get what I want. 136 00:05:54,370 --> 00:05:58,060 And ah, Joe and I were pulling our hair out. 137 00:05:58,780 --> 00:06:01,360 I was working the next day talking to a 138 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:04,990 coworker, and she has kids my age. 139 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:07,600 And I asked her, you know, what she was 140 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,490 going through? And she looked at me and she 141 00:06:09,490 --> 00:06:12,520 said, Cindy, have you ever thought about 142 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:16,510 fostering? We foster pregnant cats. 143 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:20,530 We get to watch the miracle of birth play 144 00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:22,300 with all those little kittens. 145 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:24,220 When they get adopted. 146 00:06:24,310 --> 00:06:27,430 We get to go back to our family activities, 147 00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:29,830 and then when we're ready, we raise our hand 148 00:06:29,830 --> 00:06:31,270 and we foster again. 149 00:06:31,270 --> 00:06:34,360 And it was if the clouds had parted and the 150 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,730 sunlight came down and that's it. 151 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:40,480 Aha! We're going to foster dogs. 152 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,300 We'll have all that happy energy connecting 153 00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:45,520 us, taking away our grief. 154 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,370 And it won't look as if I was choosing 155 00:06:48,370 --> 00:06:52,210 between one girl's desire over another. 156 00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:55,210 So along comes foster pet poet. 157 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:57,390 Little pocket pet poet. 158 00:06:57,390 --> 00:06:59,190 He could fit inside a purse. 159 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,210 Only problem with poet is he only had eyes 160 00:07:03,210 --> 00:07:04,530 for my one daughter. 161 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,690 None of the rest of us. 162 00:07:06,690 --> 00:07:10,260 He was a difficult dog to foster. 163 00:07:10,260 --> 00:07:13,680 I couldn't wait for him to move on. 164 00:07:13,980 --> 00:07:15,540 And the day we were ready. 165 00:07:15,540 --> 00:07:17,580 And I had his profile ready to go on the 166 00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:20,250 internet, and I told the girls they picked 167 00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:22,440 him up, stormed to the room, slammed the 168 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:23,910 door and screamed at me. 169 00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:26,760 You can't take away our new best friend. 170 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,580 And there I sat. 171 00:07:30,190 --> 00:07:33,160 In the quiet of the house, and my husband 172 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,530 came home to the quiet house. 173 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:38,740 I had been the leader of this foster team, 174 00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:41,050 and I had failed to help them understand 175 00:07:41,050 --> 00:07:43,690 that to win at fostering, you actually have 176 00:07:43,690 --> 00:07:45,370 to lose. You have to give up that 177 00:07:45,370 --> 00:07:48,700 relationship. Now, the logic is when you 178 00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:51,670 give up that relationship, you create space 179 00:07:51,670 --> 00:07:54,220 in your home for the next dog in need. 180 00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:57,400 But Joe and I realized our kids were nowhere 181 00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:58,810 near logic. 182 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:03,130 They weren't ready for another loss, and 183 00:08:03,130 --> 00:08:05,170 neither of us were ready for another 184 00:08:05,170 --> 00:08:08,920 tsunami. So that night we signed poet's 185 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:12,070 adoption papers, and he became our resident 186 00:08:12,070 --> 00:08:15,520 pet that nobody's going to want us to foster 187 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:18,970 again until a month later, when Linda from 188 00:08:18,970 --> 00:08:22,930 the agency called and said, Big Margo is an 189 00:08:22,930 --> 00:08:25,450 animal impound and she is set to be 190 00:08:25,450 --> 00:08:28,240 euthanized unless we pull her. 191 00:08:29,210 --> 00:08:30,770 Are you willing to foster her? 192 00:08:30,770 --> 00:08:32,450 Well, of course I'm going to say yes to 193 00:08:32,450 --> 00:08:34,640 that. And I want to win. 194 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,860 I'm going to prove that we can do this as a 195 00:08:36,860 --> 00:08:42,320 team. But Margo, all retriever and happy 196 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:45,860 dog, wiggled herself into our home and into 197 00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:48,740 our lives. And yes, you are right, we failed 198 00:08:48,740 --> 00:08:50,120 at fostering again. 199 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,910 Now we have two resident pets. 200 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,340 The kids aren't any happier. 201 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,390 They're pulling away further from their 202 00:08:58,390 --> 00:09:00,580 friends. They're pulling away from us. 203 00:09:00,850 --> 00:09:03,340 And I was just confounded. 204 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:04,720 And I sat and thought. 205 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:06,430 And I really started thinking about the 206 00:09:06,430 --> 00:09:07,480 process here. 207 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:11,020 I thought I wanted what other people wanted. 208 00:09:11,380 --> 00:09:12,760 And I think I did. 209 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:15,490 I started doing research and looking that 210 00:09:15,490 --> 00:09:18,310 most people around the globe want to raise 211 00:09:18,310 --> 00:09:21,880 happy, successful, independent kids that 212 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,410 remain connected to home. 213 00:09:24,610 --> 00:09:26,620 So something else had to be there. 214 00:09:26,620 --> 00:09:28,270 What was that? Something else? 215 00:09:28,660 --> 00:09:30,550 Now I'm going to invite you if you're 216 00:09:30,550 --> 00:09:32,650 feeling comfortable and you don't see what 217 00:09:32,650 --> 00:09:34,690 you're going through, if you're comfortable 218 00:09:34,690 --> 00:09:37,030 at it in the chat. But for us, some of these 219 00:09:37,030 --> 00:09:39,280 things that got in the way were our 220 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,920 activities, the kids activities, cell phones 221 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:45,430 and sex and drugs and peer pressure and 222 00:09:45,430 --> 00:09:47,740 mental health. We were going through all of 223 00:09:47,740 --> 00:09:51,300 that. But that wasn't just it, because we 224 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:53,190 kept going on this hamster wheel. 225 00:09:53,190 --> 00:09:55,590 Anybody else here feel like you're on a 226 00:09:55,590 --> 00:09:56,640 hamster wheel? 227 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,590 You just keep doing the same thing over and 228 00:09:58,590 --> 00:10:00,600 over, getting the same results. 229 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,970 Our kids were improving at all. 230 00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:05,040 Our relationship wasn't improving. 231 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,310 Then I realized in that definition of 232 00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:11,490 insanity attributed to Albert Einstein, of 233 00:10:11,490 --> 00:10:13,230 doing the same thing over and over. 234 00:10:13,230 --> 00:10:18,090 Joe and I were parenting like our parents. 235 00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:22,230 We were parenting in an in a conventional 236 00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:24,600 manner where we were thinking about 237 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,640 happiness over self-worth. 238 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,550 We were thinking about grades and 239 00:10:29,550 --> 00:10:33,090 accomplishments and image and discipline. 240 00:10:33,630 --> 00:10:36,840 So he and I started thinking about what if we 241 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,310 were to reparent ourselves? 242 00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:40,140 What if we could go back and be the parents 243 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,370 of ourselves as teens? 244 00:10:41,370 --> 00:10:42,720 What would we do different? 245 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,600 What would we do then and do for our kids 246 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:46,980 now to help them? 247 00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:50,220 What I'd like you to do right now is get 248 00:10:50,220 --> 00:10:51,900 yourself centered as you're sitting or 249 00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:54,330 standing, and then with me, do a little 250 00:10:54,330 --> 00:10:57,480 activity. We're going to lean to one side as 251 00:10:57,480 --> 00:11:00,450 far as you can and come back to center. 252 00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:05,270 Then lean in the other direction and come 253 00:11:05,270 --> 00:11:06,440 back to center. 254 00:11:07,460 --> 00:11:08,900 Now you didn't fall over. 255 00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:10,940 I didn't see anybody fall over. 256 00:11:11,150 --> 00:11:14,720 But what you did do is you used a strong 257 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:18,650 foundation to shift, to do something 258 00:11:18,650 --> 00:11:21,170 different. So when it comes to parenting, 259 00:11:21,170 --> 00:11:24,110 I'm not saying to diss your parents and how 260 00:11:24,110 --> 00:11:26,960 you were raised, but to think about what are 261 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:30,800 those key things that have been helpful and 262 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,410 what could you be thinking to do different 263 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,710 in order to get a different result? 264 00:11:36,710 --> 00:11:40,550 Thinking unconventionally now, to think 265 00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:42,950 unconventionally and to do unconventional 266 00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:44,930 things. Scary. 267 00:11:44,930 --> 00:11:46,430 I know it's scary. 268 00:11:46,430 --> 00:11:47,930 It takes courage. 269 00:11:47,930 --> 00:11:49,460 It takes support. 270 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:53,630 So before we leave here today, I want you to 271 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:56,690 think about where support can come from, 272 00:11:56,690 --> 00:11:59,840 from you, what gives you confidence, and 273 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:03,770 oddly enough, the dogs gave us confidence. 274 00:12:03,770 --> 00:12:08,450 Yes, we failed at fostering twice, but we did 275 00:12:08,450 --> 00:12:10,310 figure out how to succeed. 276 00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:12,770 These are dogs that came to us that were 277 00:12:12,770 --> 00:12:15,920 abandoned, abused, neglected, had medical 278 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:17,390 and physical needs. 279 00:12:17,390 --> 00:12:21,050 Our job was to heal them and to help them 280 00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:24,380 move forward into a new home. 281 00:12:24,590 --> 00:12:26,990 We were successful, and I was able to take 282 00:12:26,990 --> 00:12:30,350 those nuggets of success and the learning 283 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,480 lessons that came from them to help our 284 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:33,770 family shift. 285 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:37,040 That's what I'd like for you to think about 286 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:40,520 today. How can you help your family shift? 287 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,560 It begins with you. 288 00:12:42,590 --> 00:12:43,910 You are the coach. 289 00:12:43,910 --> 00:12:45,140 You are the leader. 290 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:48,620 If you want change, it has to resonate and 291 00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:51,140 begin with you. That is the s, but you need 292 00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:54,050 help. You need to go out and seek help. 293 00:12:54,050 --> 00:12:55,580 With that help, you're going to get 294 00:12:55,580 --> 00:13:00,020 information and input and then expect to 295 00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:03,020 fail. We failed twice at fostering, but all 296 00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:06,140 that information and failure fed back into 297 00:13:06,140 --> 00:13:08,240 what we were doing in order to help us 298 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:11,780 thrive. But through the shift framework, it 299 00:13:11,780 --> 00:13:14,690 helped us in our fostering, and it helped us 300 00:13:14,690 --> 00:13:18,290 in raising resilient kids, and it helped to 301 00:13:18,290 --> 00:13:20,240 reconnect our family. 302 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:23,450 So I challenge you to walk away today with 303 00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:24,530 what do you like? 304 00:13:24,530 --> 00:13:27,020 What do you think you can change, and where 305 00:13:27,020 --> 00:13:29,990 do you feel that you can get the support you 306 00:13:29,990 --> 00:13:33,140 need to do that one shift. 307 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,130 Thank you. 308 00:13:36,530 --> 00:13:39,860 Diane Diaz: Fantastic job, Cindy. 309 00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:42,140 That was wonderful. 310 00:13:42,170 --> 00:13:44,990 Goodness. Now, of course I've seen you 311 00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:49,250 deliver some most of that, but you are 312 00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:52,520 getting so much more effective with the 313 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:53,990 storytelling, which you were. It was already 314 00:13:53,990 --> 00:13:56,930 amazing, but you're really embodying it and 315 00:13:56,930 --> 00:13:59,330 your movements and gestures and that 316 00:13:59,330 --> 00:14:02,300 activity. How did that feel for you? 317 00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:06,860 Cindy Ojczyk: I have practiced it a lot, and so it becoming 318 00:14:07,310 --> 00:14:10,580 very comfortable and realizing that that's 319 00:14:10,580 --> 00:14:12,710 how you get the engagement is to actually go 320 00:14:12,710 --> 00:14:13,670 out and do it. 321 00:14:13,730 --> 00:14:15,320 Diane Diaz: Yeah, that was fantastic. 322 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:17,900 And how let me ask you about the stories, 323 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,190 because I know those are very personal 324 00:14:19,190 --> 00:14:21,230 stories. And as I said at the at the top of 325 00:14:21,230 --> 00:14:24,980 this, um, this broadcast, that the more 326 00:14:24,980 --> 00:14:27,740 personal the story is, the more universal or 327 00:14:27,740 --> 00:14:29,630 the more, um, specific appeal it will have 328 00:14:29,630 --> 00:14:31,700 to the audience. So the more you know, the 329 00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:33,560 more you dig deep into your personal story. 330 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:35,570 It actually, we think sometimes will. 331 00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:36,650 How is the audience going to relate? 332 00:14:36,650 --> 00:14:39,200 It's so personal, but they really do. 333 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,200 And so how does it feel for you to deliver 334 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,180 so such personal I mean, those are personal 335 00:14:44,180 --> 00:14:45,410 stories about your family. 336 00:14:45,410 --> 00:14:47,870 So how does how does that feel for you? 337 00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:52,520 Cindy Ojczyk: So I have worked on a manuscript and I'm 338 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:54,410 actually in the process of getting a book 339 00:14:54,410 --> 00:14:56,480 published and. 340 00:14:57,380 --> 00:15:00,770 I do, I I'm able to present this because my 341 00:15:00,770 --> 00:15:03,410 family supports me on presenting it, because 342 00:15:03,410 --> 00:15:06,650 my kids know that they struggled, and if 343 00:15:06,650 --> 00:15:09,440 anything that they have done can help 344 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:12,200 somebody in the future get through their 345 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:15,110 struggles. So I it's easier for me to 346 00:15:15,110 --> 00:15:17,450 deliver this because it is of my family, but 347 00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:18,920 I also have their support. 348 00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:21,020 Diane Diaz: Yes, yes, that's a really good point. 349 00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:22,700 Because, you know, one of the things that 350 00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:24,530 can happen when we deliver personal stories 351 00:15:24,530 --> 00:15:27,020 is what we call a vulnerability hangover, 352 00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:29,360 where you share something and then think, 353 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,950 oh, maybe I shouldn't have shared that. 354 00:15:30,950 --> 00:15:33,830 And so but it's good to hear that you do 355 00:15:33,830 --> 00:15:35,510 have your family's support and sharing that. 356 00:15:35,510 --> 00:15:37,640 And then the impact of the message is that 357 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:39,200 much stronger because the stories are 358 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,030 personal. People in the audience are going 359 00:15:41,030 --> 00:15:43,070 to relate to those stories with their 360 00:15:43,070 --> 00:15:45,560 children or families, and then can use what 361 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,450 you're teaching them to help move them 362 00:15:47,450 --> 00:15:49,820 forward and do that shift, like you said. 363 00:15:49,820 --> 00:15:52,580 So thank you so much for sharing that. 364 00:15:52,580 --> 00:15:55,070 Now let's get into our roundtable 365 00:15:55,070 --> 00:15:57,470 discussion. So Amy's actually not going to 366 00:15:57,470 --> 00:15:59,000 share her talk with us. But there's a reason 367 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,820 for that. And the reason for that is that. 368 00:16:01,820 --> 00:16:03,260 And I'll let you talk about this, Amy. 369 00:16:03,260 --> 00:16:06,350 But as I mentioned, Amy has authored a book, 370 00:16:06,350 --> 00:16:09,350 and now she's in the process of writing or I 371 00:16:09,350 --> 00:16:11,840 think might have finished writing her next 372 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:14,000 book, which will be coming out soon. 373 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,700 The talk is connected to the book, so that 374 00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,560 is why you won't hear it here today, because 375 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,150 it's kind of under wraps. 376 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,730 But maybe, Amy, you can tell us a little bit 377 00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:26,360 about that book, and if you would also touch 378 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:30,770 on how you wrapped portions of that, the 379 00:16:30,770 --> 00:16:33,620 content of your book in to your talk, and 380 00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:34,790 we'll get into kind of some of the 381 00:16:34,790 --> 00:16:37,160 storytelling. But what is your upcoming book 382 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,950 about and how does it connect to the talk 383 00:16:39,950 --> 00:16:41,480 and how are you using your talk? 384 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:45,650 Amy Bear: Yes. Well, as a psychotherapist, um, years 385 00:16:45,650 --> 00:16:48,950 ago when I decided to return to school, I 386 00:16:48,950 --> 00:16:51,080 had my own experience that I didn't 387 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:54,740 understand. And I write about relationships. 388 00:16:54,740 --> 00:16:57,170 And so I had a ten year relationship that 389 00:16:57,170 --> 00:16:59,900 was very troubled, and I didn't understand 390 00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:02,270 it at the time I was younger, I wasn't a 391 00:17:02,270 --> 00:17:05,060 therapist at the time, and when I left the 392 00:17:05,060 --> 00:17:07,070 marriage, I really wanted to understand what 393 00:17:07,070 --> 00:17:09,440 had happened in my marriage, and I wanted to 394 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,420 help other people because it was miserable 395 00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:12,770 and I had no one to talk to. 396 00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:14,300 I just didn't know what was going on. 397 00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:17,450 It was about power, having a partner who's 398 00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:20,870 got a need for power and control and and so 399 00:17:20,870 --> 00:17:22,220 I didn't understand that at all. 400 00:17:22,220 --> 00:17:25,940 So when I, um, later when I left them, after 401 00:17:25,940 --> 00:17:28,910 I left the marriage, I went back to school 402 00:17:28,910 --> 00:17:32,240 and I became, um, a psychotherapist so I 403 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:33,680 could understand my marriage and help 404 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:37,880 others. And I've I'm I wrote one book. 405 00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:40,640 Um, it was a few years ago, and now I'm 406 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,400 writing another book that came out of my 407 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,680 practice in helping other people. 408 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,620 And, um, I wrote this talk. 409 00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:50,420 It was wonderful to be with a thought leader 410 00:17:50,420 --> 00:17:53,000 Academy, but I really wanted to write a 411 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,860 signature talk to promote my book. 412 00:17:54,860 --> 00:17:57,770 So it has a lot of proprietary information 413 00:17:57,770 --> 00:17:59,780 in it, and you have to wait till my book 414 00:17:59,780 --> 00:18:01,760 comes out to get the information. 415 00:18:01,970 --> 00:18:05,030 Um, because I wanted to, you know, it's in 416 00:18:05,030 --> 00:18:06,770 the process of being published now. 417 00:18:06,770 --> 00:18:08,510 And so I didn't want to reveal that 418 00:18:08,510 --> 00:18:10,880 information, but that's why I came to the 419 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,320 Thought Leader Academy. 420 00:18:12,650 --> 00:18:13,700 Diane Diaz: Yeah. Yes. 421 00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:14,720 Thank you for sharing that. 422 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,940 And, you know, we do. 423 00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:19,070 We have had several authors come through the 424 00:18:19,070 --> 00:18:21,680 Thought Leader Academy and and, you know, 425 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,690 regardless of whatever the topic is that 426 00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:26,090 you're, that you're creating your talk on, 427 00:18:26,090 --> 00:18:29,060 we always push everyone in the Thought 428 00:18:29,060 --> 00:18:31,070 Leader Academy to wrap these personal 429 00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:32,990 stories into their talks. 430 00:18:32,990 --> 00:18:34,370 Because as you know, Amy, when you're 431 00:18:34,370 --> 00:18:36,290 working on your talk, those personal stories 432 00:18:36,290 --> 00:18:38,480 come in and then help to inform how it's 433 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,160 going to resonate with the audience. 434 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,680 And, you know, even if there's technical 435 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,270 things that you're sharing or in your case, 436 00:18:44,270 --> 00:18:45,830 things related to relationships and 437 00:18:45,830 --> 00:18:47,870 counseling and, you know, working through 438 00:18:47,870 --> 00:18:50,660 relationship troubles, your personal stories 439 00:18:50,660 --> 00:18:52,610 are going to help your audience really 440 00:18:52,610 --> 00:18:54,710 understand that you get them, you get where 441 00:18:54,710 --> 00:18:56,780 they're coming from, and you're in 442 00:18:56,780 --> 00:18:57,860 particular for you. 443 00:18:57,890 --> 00:18:59,750 You've experienced what they're probably 444 00:18:59,750 --> 00:19:02,210 experiencing. So that personal story has 445 00:19:02,210 --> 00:19:03,230 that much more power. 446 00:19:03,230 --> 00:19:06,440 Amy Bear: Absolutely. I, I actually write my personal 447 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:09,890 story in my book, and I had it hidden at the 448 00:19:09,890 --> 00:19:11,090 end of the book. 449 00:19:11,090 --> 00:19:13,340 But my book agent said, no, we're putting 450 00:19:13,340 --> 00:19:14,480 that up front. 451 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:16,100 Diane Diaz: Oh, I love to hear that. 452 00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:16,940 That's good. 453 00:19:17,090 --> 00:19:18,890 Amy Bear: When I joined the Thought Leader Academy 454 00:19:18,890 --> 00:19:21,230 started developing my signature talk, Carol 455 00:19:21,230 --> 00:19:23,150 and Diane said, okay, you got to put your 456 00:19:23,150 --> 00:19:24,170 story in there. 457 00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:27,230 And it's really the power behind my book, 458 00:19:27,230 --> 00:19:29,630 and it's the power behind my talk is my own 459 00:19:29,630 --> 00:19:31,100 personal story. 460 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:32,900 Um, in so many ways. 461 00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,670 I mean, it gives me credibility. 462 00:19:34,670 --> 00:19:36,890 It helps me really to understand from an 463 00:19:36,890 --> 00:19:38,120 inside view. 464 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:41,000 And it helped me develop the ideas that are 465 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,200 in my book now. 466 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,600 So stories very, very important. 467 00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:46,220 Diane Diaz: Yes. Absolutely. 468 00:19:46,220 --> 00:19:48,050 Yes. Thank you for sharing that, Amy. 469 00:19:48,050 --> 00:19:51,410 And so as I mentioned, both Cindy and Amy 470 00:19:51,410 --> 00:19:52,910 are recent graduates from the Thought Leader 471 00:19:52,910 --> 00:19:55,220 Academy. And so Cindy and Amy and I'll start 472 00:19:55,220 --> 00:19:56,420 with you, Cindy. 473 00:19:56,890 --> 00:19:59,680 How? How did it feel in. 474 00:19:59,770 --> 00:20:01,450 Well, let me ask it this way. 475 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,430 What were your expectations going into the 476 00:20:03,430 --> 00:20:07,720 VIP day, and then what was it actually like? 477 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,730 Did you have certain expectations and then 478 00:20:09,730 --> 00:20:11,800 it was different or tell us about that. 479 00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:18,820 Cindy Ojczyk: I had a vision or a theory that I was hoping 480 00:20:18,820 --> 00:20:20,440 that theory was going to come true, but I 481 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,450 had no idea how that was going to happen. 482 00:20:22,450 --> 00:20:25,900 And that was I had all these thoughts in my 483 00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:29,380 head, and how would I take these thoughts 484 00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:33,640 and make them into one cohesive pathway and. 485 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,090 I hadn't been able to do that up to that 486 00:20:37,090 --> 00:20:40,660 point, so that's why I went into it as a 487 00:20:40,660 --> 00:20:43,330 hypothesis. And I was just I thought it was 488 00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:47,170 magic. The whole VIP day was just magic. 489 00:20:47,170 --> 00:20:49,720 And I know talking to Amy and then the other 490 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,510 two women in the in the group that we all 491 00:20:52,510 --> 00:20:56,530 use that word because you have a formula. 492 00:20:56,530 --> 00:20:59,830 But that formula works across so many ways. 493 00:20:59,830 --> 00:21:02,050 And it created this wonderful thing. 494 00:21:02,050 --> 00:21:04,780 So it exceeded my expectations. 495 00:21:04,780 --> 00:21:06,280 Diane Diaz: Yes. I'm so glad to hear that. 496 00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:10,480 And yes, it's it seems like, well, if I have 497 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,190 all these ideas, why can't I put them 498 00:21:12,190 --> 00:21:13,240 together in a talk? 499 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,670 Like, why can't I make something cohesive 500 00:21:15,670 --> 00:21:16,930 come out of my head? Right. 501 00:21:16,930 --> 00:21:19,390 But when and I'm, I don't know who to 502 00:21:19,390 --> 00:21:21,070 attribute this expression to. 503 00:21:21,070 --> 00:21:23,110 So I didn't come up with this. 504 00:21:23,110 --> 00:21:26,020 But I always say, wherever I hear this, from 505 00:21:26,020 --> 00:21:27,820 that you can't see the label from inside the 506 00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:30,610 jar. So you're inside the jar, but you can't 507 00:21:30,610 --> 00:21:32,350 see the label. But we can see the label. 508 00:21:32,350 --> 00:21:34,330 Carol and I can see that label. 509 00:21:34,330 --> 00:21:36,340 Like we can see the thread. 510 00:21:36,340 --> 00:21:38,800 So we're working in the VIP day together and 511 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,270 you're talking, talking, talking. 512 00:21:40,270 --> 00:21:41,650 We are seeing it. 513 00:21:41,650 --> 00:21:43,150 So we're pulling out all the bits and 514 00:21:43,150 --> 00:21:45,730 pieces. But they're all your ideas and 515 00:21:45,730 --> 00:21:47,980 they're all your your message and your 516 00:21:47,980 --> 00:21:50,110 stories. And then it just takes shape. 517 00:21:50,110 --> 00:21:52,090 So I'm, I'm glad that that's the experience 518 00:21:52,090 --> 00:21:54,040 that you had because that's, that's our 519 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,140 goal. And Amy, how was it for you? 520 00:21:56,140 --> 00:21:57,910 Because I know, you know, you've got the 521 00:21:57,910 --> 00:21:59,260 book that you're thinking about, but you 522 00:21:59,260 --> 00:22:00,370 also have these messages. 523 00:22:00,370 --> 00:22:02,650 And then of course, wrapping in stories. 524 00:22:02,650 --> 00:22:04,840 So did you have certain expectations going 525 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,420 into the VIP day and what did it end up. 526 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,760 Did those how did those pan out? 527 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,910 Amy Bear: Yes. Well, like Cindy, I had all of these 528 00:22:12,910 --> 00:22:14,980 different thoughts and ideas swimming around 529 00:22:14,980 --> 00:22:18,370 in my head and I was really hoping and I did 530 00:22:18,370 --> 00:22:20,440 my VIP day with Carol. 531 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,470 I was really hoping that Carol could help me 532 00:22:23,470 --> 00:22:26,170 narrow it down and really make it more 533 00:22:26,170 --> 00:22:28,990 concise and really pull out the information 534 00:22:28,990 --> 00:22:30,430 that was most important. 535 00:22:30,430 --> 00:22:32,230 And that's exactly what she did. 536 00:22:32,230 --> 00:22:33,280 It was amazing. 537 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,770 I mean, she asked me the right questions as 538 00:22:35,770 --> 00:22:39,880 she served as, uh, as you both, uh, said, as 539 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:44,110 sort of a mirror to, um, to help me realize 540 00:22:44,110 --> 00:22:46,180 how the audience was going to respond and 541 00:22:46,180 --> 00:22:49,210 what they needed, also from a different 542 00:22:49,210 --> 00:22:51,760 perspective, which was enormously helpful. 543 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:55,450 And, uh, it was just, uh, at the end of the 544 00:22:55,450 --> 00:22:58,900 day, I, I was it was late in the day for me. 545 00:22:58,900 --> 00:23:01,900 And, but I just wanted to go ahead and get 546 00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:03,820 it all down, you know, in an outline, 547 00:23:03,820 --> 00:23:07,300 because I was so excited about the flow and 548 00:23:07,300 --> 00:23:10,990 about the elements of the talk and about my 549 00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:12,700 interaction with Carol for three. 550 00:23:12,700 --> 00:23:14,770 Uh, yeah, with Carol for three hours. 551 00:23:14,770 --> 00:23:16,540 And it was, uh, it went beyond my 552 00:23:16,540 --> 00:23:17,800 expectations. Really. 553 00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:20,270 Diane Diaz: Oh, I'm so happy to hear that. 554 00:23:20,270 --> 00:23:22,250 That's wonderful. And I know, you know, I 555 00:23:22,250 --> 00:23:23,420 know you mentioned, like, you have all these 556 00:23:23,420 --> 00:23:25,100 ideas swirling around. 557 00:23:25,100 --> 00:23:26,660 One of the things that I've noticed about 558 00:23:26,660 --> 00:23:29,150 the VIP days is that often clients come with 559 00:23:29,150 --> 00:23:32,330 all the ideas and sometimes a lot of ideas, 560 00:23:32,330 --> 00:23:37,190 and it's it's hard to know how not not just 561 00:23:37,190 --> 00:23:39,020 how to structure those ideas, but which ones 562 00:23:39,020 --> 00:23:41,180 to use because you can't put them all in the 563 00:23:41,180 --> 00:23:44,510 talk. Right. And so I think the tendency 564 00:23:44,510 --> 00:23:46,580 with a signature talk is to want to tell 565 00:23:46,580 --> 00:23:47,990 them everything, but you can't. 566 00:23:47,990 --> 00:23:50,390 And so I think that's one of the benefits of 567 00:23:50,390 --> 00:23:52,730 having another person like myself or Carol, 568 00:23:52,730 --> 00:23:56,600 work with you is to pull out the most 569 00:23:56,600 --> 00:24:00,170 relevant points and then connect it with 570 00:24:00,170 --> 00:24:03,320 stories so that you're delivering not every 571 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,150 point and every idea that you have, but the 572 00:24:05,150 --> 00:24:07,370 most relevant ones that will best resonate 573 00:24:07,370 --> 00:24:09,770 with the audience based on whatever your 574 00:24:09,770 --> 00:24:11,690 goals are. So like, for you promoting your 575 00:24:11,690 --> 00:24:13,730 book, you know, and then Cindy's creating 576 00:24:13,730 --> 00:24:16,160 this, this talk to start delivering this, to 577 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:18,140 start fleshing out those ideas. 578 00:24:18,140 --> 00:24:20,900 So that I think is the benefit of working 579 00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:23,180 with someone, is that you can you can set 580 00:24:23,180 --> 00:24:25,730 aside the ideas that you know, okay, those 581 00:24:25,730 --> 00:24:28,010 are ideas you can share in another talk, but 582 00:24:28,010 --> 00:24:29,750 you can't put them all in the one talk. 583 00:24:29,750 --> 00:24:32,840 Right? So we help you to sort of sort of dig 584 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:34,430 through all those ideas. 585 00:24:34,670 --> 00:24:36,710 Um, so let me ask you this question. 586 00:24:36,710 --> 00:24:38,390 I'm curious because we're talking about 587 00:24:38,390 --> 00:24:40,580 storytelling and of course, you've both. 588 00:24:40,580 --> 00:24:42,260 I know, Cindy, you just told some very 589 00:24:42,260 --> 00:24:44,120 personal stories. And Amy, you of course, 590 00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:45,830 you mentioned that in your book and also in 591 00:24:45,830 --> 00:24:48,260 your talk is your personal story of of being 592 00:24:48,260 --> 00:24:49,580 in that relationship. 593 00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:52,460 Have either of you experienced what I 594 00:24:52,460 --> 00:24:54,380 mentioned earlier, the vulnerability 595 00:24:54,380 --> 00:24:56,510 hangover from sharing personal stories? 596 00:24:56,510 --> 00:24:57,560 Has that ever happened? 597 00:24:57,560 --> 00:24:58,940 Have you have you felt that? 598 00:24:58,940 --> 00:25:00,830 Did you share the stories and then think, 599 00:25:01,190 --> 00:25:02,360 oh, I don't know. 600 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:04,340 Cindy. 601 00:25:06,540 --> 00:25:10,860 Cindy Ojczyk: Well, when I first started writing about my 602 00:25:10,860 --> 00:25:13,920 experiences, because I, I had originally 603 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:15,540 thought I was going to be writing a book on 604 00:25:15,540 --> 00:25:19,650 how to foster, and what I was told from my 605 00:25:19,650 --> 00:25:22,320 beta readers was they wanted an ark, while 606 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,930 the ark was the thing that I was struggling 607 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,030 to get out there because it was the 608 00:25:27,030 --> 00:25:28,860 vulnerability of our family going through 609 00:25:28,860 --> 00:25:31,740 the issues. So I wrote and wrote and wrote 610 00:25:32,220 --> 00:25:36,540 with the idea with my kids that they would 611 00:25:36,540 --> 00:25:39,450 have to approve what I wrote. 612 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:43,410 So the vulnerability was probably the first 613 00:25:43,410 --> 00:25:46,290 time they read my stories. 614 00:25:46,620 --> 00:25:48,840 Diane Diaz: Oh, I can imagine because. 615 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:53,700 Cindy Ojczyk: It was my reflection of the events of our 616 00:25:53,700 --> 00:25:57,360 family during the time we were raising the 617 00:25:57,360 --> 00:25:59,880 kids and and during times of turmoil for 618 00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:02,610 them, and to see how they would react. 619 00:26:02,850 --> 00:26:05,460 So that was probably the most vulnerable. 620 00:26:05,460 --> 00:26:07,530 And then once we got past that. 621 00:26:08,990 --> 00:26:10,520 And they're they're older now. 622 00:26:10,820 --> 00:26:13,190 Diane Diaz: Yes, yes. Different perspective. 623 00:26:13,190 --> 00:26:14,000 Right? Yes. 624 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,860 Cindy Ojczyk: Different perspective. If it was they were 625 00:26:15,860 --> 00:26:17,720 still teens. We might not be having this 626 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:18,590 conversation. 627 00:26:18,590 --> 00:26:19,970 Diane Diaz: Yes. No, that makes sense. 628 00:26:19,970 --> 00:26:21,560 But so thank you for sharing that. 629 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,540 I think it's an important point because 630 00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:25,580 oftentimes in sharing our story, there are 631 00:26:25,580 --> 00:26:26,960 other people involved in that story. 632 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:30,020 And so, you know, we always say share your 633 00:26:30,020 --> 00:26:32,360 own story, but other people's stories are 634 00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,730 theirs to share. But as you said, you've 635 00:26:34,730 --> 00:26:35,930 gotten permission from your children. 636 00:26:35,930 --> 00:26:38,540 And so that that makes it, you know, an 637 00:26:38,540 --> 00:26:42,020 excellent sort of training situation in your 638 00:26:42,020 --> 00:26:43,640 talk to share that story so that other 639 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,650 families can benefit from that as well. 640 00:26:45,650 --> 00:26:46,880 Now, Amy, what about you? 641 00:26:46,910 --> 00:26:49,580 Have you had a vulnerability hangover ever 642 00:26:49,580 --> 00:26:50,750 in sharing your story? 643 00:26:50,750 --> 00:26:53,270 Amy Bear: I yeah, I'm not the type of person who likes 644 00:26:53,270 --> 00:26:54,920 to be the center of attention. 645 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:59,150 And um, so I, I've had vulnerability 646 00:26:59,150 --> 00:27:01,040 hangovers and I know exactly what they are. 647 00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,300 But the thing about it being a 648 00:27:02,300 --> 00:27:04,550 psychotherapist, it's what I do all day. 649 00:27:04,550 --> 00:27:06,350 We talk about everything that's vulnerable 650 00:27:06,350 --> 00:27:10,010 and and and sometimes I disclose information 651 00:27:10,010 --> 00:27:12,320 about myself if it's a good intervention for 652 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:15,560 my client. And so I'm, I'm I'm pretty 653 00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:16,970 comfortable with that. 654 00:27:17,390 --> 00:27:20,390 Uh, but I was kind of in the same position 655 00:27:20,390 --> 00:27:23,060 as, as Cindy because there were other people 656 00:27:23,060 --> 00:27:24,620 involved in this story. 657 00:27:24,620 --> 00:27:28,220 And, and so I didn't know at first when I 658 00:27:28,220 --> 00:27:31,400 wrote the story how my my wonderful second 659 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,470 husband, who's very supportive, we had a 660 00:27:33,470 --> 00:27:34,760 long, happy marriage. 661 00:27:34,970 --> 00:27:36,410 I don't know, I didn't know how he would 662 00:27:36,410 --> 00:27:39,830 react. I didn't know how my son would react. 663 00:27:39,860 --> 00:27:42,260 Who still has a relationship, you know, with 664 00:27:42,500 --> 00:27:44,570 his his father from my first marriage. 665 00:27:44,570 --> 00:27:47,330 So I had to kind of I had to navigate all of 666 00:27:47,330 --> 00:27:50,840 that. But, you know, it was kind of like 667 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:52,250 Cindy's experience in a way. 668 00:27:52,250 --> 00:27:54,260 I mean, they were all so supportive because 669 00:27:54,260 --> 00:27:56,180 I handled that's the way I handled it. 670 00:27:56,180 --> 00:27:58,310 You know, I wasn't accusing anybody. 671 00:27:58,310 --> 00:28:00,590 I was just telling my story and how I felt 672 00:28:00,590 --> 00:28:03,860 and being really authentic about it and and 673 00:28:03,860 --> 00:28:06,200 not bringing in, you know, anger or 674 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:07,730 frustration or resentment and all those 675 00:28:07,730 --> 00:28:10,430 things that really can, um, can not set well 676 00:28:10,430 --> 00:28:12,920 with people. And so it worked out really 677 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:15,410 well. So as soon as I got straight on my 678 00:28:15,410 --> 00:28:17,480 loved ones and knowing that they were going 679 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:19,400 to, that they were fine with the story. 680 00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,200 And they in fact, they encouraged me to tell 681 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,770 it then then I was, I was, I was fine with 682 00:28:24,770 --> 00:28:27,470 it and and I was able to move forward with 683 00:28:27,470 --> 00:28:28,490 telling my story. 684 00:28:28,490 --> 00:28:28,790 Yeah. 685 00:28:29,330 --> 00:28:31,400 Diane Diaz: Oh, that's that's such a lovely way to put 686 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,710 that. So, so I think, you know, for our, for 687 00:28:33,710 --> 00:28:36,470 our listeners and anybody watching this, you 688 00:28:36,470 --> 00:28:38,510 know, if, if you're thinking about sharing 689 00:28:38,510 --> 00:28:40,940 your story in your talk or in, you know, any 690 00:28:40,940 --> 00:28:43,550 messaging and you're hesitant if there are 691 00:28:43,550 --> 00:28:45,080 other people involved, of course, check it 692 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:48,290 out with them. But be willing to take that 693 00:28:48,290 --> 00:28:50,300 leap because your story, as you can see from 694 00:28:50,300 --> 00:28:53,030 Cindy and from Amy, your story is going to 695 00:28:53,030 --> 00:28:55,220 impact your audience in a bigger way than if 696 00:28:55,220 --> 00:28:59,690 you just share tips or facts or you know 697 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:01,280 information with them. 698 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:05,030 The story really brings the ideas to life 699 00:29:05,030 --> 00:29:08,510 and makes those ideas resonate more deeply 700 00:29:08,510 --> 00:29:10,310 because we identify with other people's 701 00:29:10,310 --> 00:29:12,740 stories. Storytelling has been around for 702 00:29:12,740 --> 00:29:14,120 even before there were written words, and 703 00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:15,140 there's a reason for that. 704 00:29:15,140 --> 00:29:16,520 And we identify with stories. 705 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:18,980 So I would encourage anyone who is working 706 00:29:18,980 --> 00:29:23,150 on a talk to incorporate storytelling into 707 00:29:23,150 --> 00:29:25,760 your talk and tell as personal a story as 708 00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:27,260 you can so that you can make that 709 00:29:27,260 --> 00:29:30,050 connection. So thank you, Cindy, and thank 710 00:29:30,050 --> 00:29:33,260 you, Amy, for not only coming on our 711 00:29:33,260 --> 00:29:35,030 broadcast for backstage at Speaking Your 712 00:29:35,030 --> 00:29:37,250 Brand today, but also for joining us in the 713 00:29:37,250 --> 00:29:39,650 Thought Leader Academy and for being willing 714 00:29:39,650 --> 00:29:42,800 to share personal stories and being open and 715 00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:45,440 just so, um, wonderfully supportive of one 716 00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:47,750 another. I truly appreciate both of you and 717 00:29:47,750 --> 00:29:49,280 all the women in the Thought Leader Academy, 718 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:50,930 so thank you for that and. 719 00:29:50,930 --> 00:29:52,760 Amy Bear: Thank you also. This has been a wonderful 720 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,340 experience for me and I highly recommend it. 721 00:29:55,670 --> 00:29:57,890 Uh, it's it's just brought brought a lot 722 00:29:57,890 --> 00:30:00,500 more than just a signature talk to my life. 723 00:30:00,500 --> 00:30:02,990 Really. Well thank you out some some new 724 00:30:02,990 --> 00:30:04,940 ideas and some new ways of thinking. 725 00:30:04,940 --> 00:30:05,210 Yeah. 726 00:30:06,170 --> 00:30:07,190 Diane Diaz: Oh well, I would. 727 00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,650 Cindy Ojczyk: Second what Amy has to say. 728 00:30:09,980 --> 00:30:11,930 Far exceeded my expectations. 729 00:30:11,930 --> 00:30:13,790 I had to keep up with all of you. 730 00:30:15,020 --> 00:30:16,700 A lot of work going on there. 731 00:30:17,180 --> 00:30:18,710 There was a lot of work. 732 00:30:18,710 --> 00:30:20,990 Diane Diaz: Cindy learned a bunch of new things, learned, 733 00:30:20,990 --> 00:30:25,370 learned how to do slides and and technology 734 00:30:25,370 --> 00:30:27,350 and microphones and all the things. 735 00:30:27,350 --> 00:30:30,110 So that's awesome. 736 00:30:30,110 --> 00:30:31,430 Well, thank you both. 737 00:30:31,430 --> 00:30:34,130 And for anybody who is watching or 738 00:30:34,130 --> 00:30:36,770 listening, if you want to connect with us, 739 00:30:36,770 --> 00:30:38,420 you can find us on LinkedIn. 740 00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:40,640 And if you're interested in joining the 741 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:42,170 Thought Leader Academy, you can visit 742 00:30:42,170 --> 00:30:45,380 speaking your brand.com/academy again that 743 00:30:45,380 --> 00:30:48,650 is speaking your brand.com/academy. 744 00:30:48,650 --> 00:30:50,060 Until next time. 745 00:30:50,060 --> 00:30:51,410 Thanks for listening.