1 00:00:01,284 --> 00:00:04,287 Romans 12:16-18. 2 00:00:05,455 --> 00:00:07,440 Live in harmony with one another. 3 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,276 Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. 4 00:00:10,276 --> 00:00:12,445 Never be wise in your own sight. 5 00:00:12,445 --> 00:00:16,549 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable 6 00:00:16,549 --> 00:00:18,051 in the sight of all. 7 00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:20,687 If possible, so far as it depends on you, 8 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:23,690 live peaceably with all. 9 00:00:27,143 --> 00:00:27,961 Well, good morning and 10 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,930 welcome to the weekend gathering of Christ Community Chapel. 11 00:00:30,930 --> 00:00:31,915 My name is Zach. 12 00:00:31,915 --> 00:00:34,551 I'm one of the pastors here, and I'm so glad 13 00:00:34,551 --> 00:00:37,637 that we get to be part of your weekend. 14 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,740 We are continuing our August sermon series. 15 00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:45,361 We're calling it Good News for Every Family, and we're taking a look 16 00:00:45,361 --> 00:00:50,316 at God's blueprint for what it looks like to flourish as a family. 17 00:00:50,333 --> 00:00:52,702 We believe that's what God wants. 18 00:00:52,702 --> 00:00:57,207 Sometimes we think about God as a life inhibitor or restrictor. 19 00:00:57,507 --> 00:01:00,243 But if we had a relationship with God, if we were to give control 20 00:01:00,243 --> 00:01:03,530 to God, we would get less, not more. 21 00:01:04,013 --> 00:01:06,783 The Bible has a very different view of God. 22 00:01:06,783 --> 00:01:10,737 Jesus himself says in the Gospel of John, I've come so that you might have life 23 00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:12,922 and life more abundant. 24 00:01:12,922 --> 00:01:16,609 God wants more for us, more for our families. 25 00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:18,528 So we're taking four weeks in August to 26 00:01:18,528 --> 00:01:22,098 look at what that looks like in our day to day lives. 27 00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:25,702 Two weeks ago, we looked at parenting and God's design 28 00:01:25,702 --> 00:01:29,422 for that last week we looked at God's design for marriage. 29 00:01:29,606 --> 00:01:32,492 I don't know about you, but the red and green M&M 30 00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:35,478 language has shown up in my house a lot this week. 31 00:01:35,728 --> 00:01:37,080 Thanks a lot, Pastor Joe. 32 00:01:38,481 --> 00:01:39,599 And then this week, we're 33 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:42,602 going to turn our attention in a different direction. 34 00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,370 And here's the reason. 35 00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:47,907 There's always a danger when you talk about families, 36 00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:51,227 what God wants for our families 37 00:01:51,227 --> 00:01:54,230 that some of us might feel left out. 38 00:01:55,398 --> 00:01:59,185 The unintentional consequence of casting vision for what God wants 39 00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:03,473 in your marriage, or what God wants in your parenting, might be to make you feel 40 00:02:03,473 --> 00:02:08,278 as though what God is really interested in are perfect kinds of families, 41 00:02:09,512 --> 00:02:12,499 the God's people, or those who get it right. 42 00:02:12,682 --> 00:02:17,086 Those who are happy and and healthy and everything's working. 43 00:02:17,086 --> 00:02:20,640 And then if you're not in that cute little picture, 44 00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:24,477 maybe God isn't that interested in you. 45 00:02:25,862 --> 00:02:29,132 And so it feels right to step back 46 00:02:29,132 --> 00:02:32,936 for just a second and say, we don't just want to talk about parenting, 47 00:02:32,936 --> 00:02:34,370 we don't want to talk about marriage. 48 00:02:34,370 --> 00:02:37,440 We don't even just want to talk about healthy families. 49 00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:42,562 What does God have to say about broken families? 50 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:44,214 What happens 51 00:02:44,214 --> 00:02:47,217 when you don't fit the healthy picture? 52 00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:50,186 When things aren't going well? 53 00:02:50,186 --> 00:02:54,657 When even the subject of family is painful? 54 00:02:55,325 --> 00:03:00,496 We want to see is that God cares about people in that situation as well. 55 00:03:00,496 --> 00:03:01,431 In fact, to show you that 56 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:05,185 if you have a Bible, would you open it up to Romans chapter 12? 57 00:03:05,201 --> 00:03:06,386 We're going to look at a few verses 58 00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:09,389 that were just read so beautifully a minute ago. 59 00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:12,292 Take out your phone, your tablet, however you want to get there. 60 00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:13,676 And hey, if you're new 61 00:03:13,676 --> 00:03:15,028 and maybe it's been a little while 62 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,213 since you've been in church, you didn't bring a Bible. 63 00:03:17,213 --> 00:03:18,381 That's okay. 64 00:03:18,381 --> 00:03:21,117 All the verses I talk about are going to be on the screen behind me, 65 00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:25,321 but we do have Bibles for you in the pew in front of you in the back of East Hall. 66 00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:27,891 If you want to hold something and follow along. 67 00:03:27,891 --> 00:03:32,328 Today's reading is on page 891, bottom right hand corner. 68 00:03:32,428 --> 00:03:34,914 Glad that you're here. Thanks for taking a big step. 69 00:03:34,914 --> 00:03:38,151 I hope you know that everything that happens here this morning 70 00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:41,154 is as much for you as it is for anyone else. 71 00:03:41,604 --> 00:03:43,189 So thanks for being here. 72 00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:45,658 But however you're getting to Romans chapter 12, 73 00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:48,678 I have four points I want to use to guide our time together. 74 00:03:48,678 --> 00:03:49,862 Very simple. 75 00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:53,299 And they go like this I want to talk about it needs to be said, 76 00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,402 I need to hear it. 77 00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,071 I need to experience it. 78 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:01,074 And I need this answer. It needs to be said. 79 00:04:01,190 --> 00:04:02,875 I need to hear it. 80 00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:04,877 I need to experience it. 81 00:04:04,877 --> 00:04:07,113 And I need this answered. 82 00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:08,448 All right. Let's start with the first one. 83 00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:10,617 It needs to be said. 84 00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:13,803 Look at how the writer opens this passage right off the bat. 85 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:19,442 Romans chapter 12, verse 16 says this live in harmony 86 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,528 with one another. 87 00:04:22,528 --> 00:04:24,564 Pretty simple question. 88 00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:27,567 Why does that need to be said? 89 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:30,870 Live in harmony with one another. 90 00:04:30,887 --> 00:04:33,573 Why does the writer have to say that? 91 00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:35,091 Well, probably for the same reason 92 00:04:35,091 --> 00:04:39,329 that when I leave my kids in the basement at my house and I'm going to go upstairs 93 00:04:39,329 --> 00:04:43,549 where the adults are hanging out, I say things like, just get along. 94 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:45,652 That's not 95 00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:48,655 because they were going to do that anyways. 96 00:04:49,138 --> 00:04:52,292 Or I might say, try not to make a huge mess. 97 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:53,459 Right. 98 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:56,546 I'm saying these things because if I don't say 99 00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:59,549 them, it might not happen. 100 00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:02,185 If I don't encourage them to get along. 101 00:05:02,185 --> 00:05:06,973 If I don't remind them to clean up after themselves, it isn't going to happen. 102 00:05:06,990 --> 00:05:11,160 I think when the writer says live in harmony with one another, he's 103 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,364 acknowledging the fact that if we're not careful, 104 00:05:14,364 --> 00:05:17,367 our default setting are drifting 105 00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:20,720 is away from peace, not towards it. 106 00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:23,756 Reminds me of an old preacher joke about a man that they find 107 00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:27,060 deserted on an island, like Tom Hanks on Castaway, 108 00:05:27,510 --> 00:05:30,480 and when the boat pulls up to rescue the man, of course he's overjoyed. 109 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:34,701 And they notice behind him he's built two wooden structures on the beach, 110 00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:36,686 and they say one of those buildings. 111 00:05:36,686 --> 00:05:39,622 And he goes, oh, well, the first one is my church. 112 00:05:39,622 --> 00:05:40,606 That's where I worship. 113 00:05:40,606 --> 00:05:43,109 And they said, oh man, that's really cool. They said, what's the other one? 114 00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:45,178 He goes, that's the church I used to go to. I had to leave. 115 00:05:47,630 --> 00:05:50,633 Because, you see, the truth is, whether you're all alone 116 00:05:50,633 --> 00:05:55,321 on a deserted island or in the first century in Rome 117 00:05:56,389 --> 00:06:00,410 or in northeast Ohio in 2025, Harmony 118 00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:03,563 is an easy. 119 00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:05,098 Let me throw some data at you. 120 00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:08,101 1 in 3 Americans presently 121 00:06:08,217 --> 00:06:11,220 are estranged from a family member. 122 00:06:12,171 --> 00:06:14,657 1 in 3 Americans have a family member. 123 00:06:14,657 --> 00:06:15,892 They no longer speak to. 124 00:06:15,892 --> 00:06:20,012 1 in 5 Americans are not speaking to a family member 125 00:06:20,012 --> 00:06:24,384 because of their political beliefs or the political beliefs of the family member. 126 00:06:25,068 --> 00:06:27,086 Now that's just a number, right? 127 00:06:27,086 --> 00:06:28,554 So let me put that in context. 128 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:32,425 That means if you consider that there's probably a person sitting to your right 129 00:06:32,658 --> 00:06:35,628 and a person sitting to your left, one of you 130 00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:38,848 at least is not speaking to a family member. 131 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,818 That means if your pew is full 132 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:45,088 or mostly full, two people on each pew 133 00:06:46,105 --> 00:06:49,108 are not speaking to a family member because of politics. 134 00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:53,846 We aren't getting better at this. 135 00:06:55,314 --> 00:06:57,500 We're getting worse. 136 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,569 If we need it in the first century, for the Apostle 137 00:06:59,569 --> 00:07:02,572 Paul to says, live in harmony, we need it even more. 138 00:07:02,688 --> 00:07:06,809 In 2025, it needs to be said we are getting worse 139 00:07:06,809 --> 00:07:09,812 at doing family. 140 00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:14,033 Now, I don't want you to feel judged by that or accused by that. 141 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:15,351 I want you to hear this. 142 00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:18,888 The reason I know we're getting bad at doing family 143 00:07:19,789 --> 00:07:22,792 is because so am I. 144 00:07:23,092 --> 00:07:25,578 My second point is literally, 145 00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:28,581 I need to hear this. 146 00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:31,167 And here's why. 147 00:07:31,167 --> 00:07:34,020 Because if you were sitting on the pew with me, 148 00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:36,989 the person to my right and the person to my left would be safe 149 00:07:38,808 --> 00:07:41,277 because I have family members. 150 00:07:41,277 --> 00:07:43,579 I'm currently 151 00:07:43,579 --> 00:07:45,781 estranged from 152 00:07:45,781 --> 00:07:47,633 families hard. 153 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:50,369 Harmony is hard. 154 00:07:50,369 --> 00:07:53,372 And it's hard when you get asked to preach a sermon on it 155 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:57,093 and you're struggling with it yourself. 156 00:07:57,093 --> 00:07:59,395 So I was reflecting this week on why 157 00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:03,766 it is so hard for me to experience harmony with my family. 158 00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:07,320 As I was thinking this week about how hard it would be to try to even preach 159 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,323 a sermon to myself, let alone to you. 160 00:08:10,439 --> 00:08:14,477 The image that came to my mind was one of three stones. 161 00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:19,849 Because the truth is, 162 00:08:19,849 --> 00:08:24,537 when I think about my family, I live with three different stones. 163 00:08:24,887 --> 00:08:26,606 I hope this makes sense to you. 164 00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:29,792 The first is I live with a stone in my shoe. 165 00:08:34,697 --> 00:08:37,466 There are things that family members have said to me 166 00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:41,988 that I don't know if I'll ever Unhear. 167 00:08:43,739 --> 00:08:46,709 There are things that they've done to me 168 00:08:46,709 --> 00:08:49,579 that I don't know if I'll ever unfurl. 169 00:08:49,579 --> 00:08:52,982 And the truth is, every time I think about those family members, 170 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:56,035 whether they're in the room or not, every time I'm around them 171 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,788 or I think about them, I feel those things. 172 00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:00,890 Those things they said, those things they did. 173 00:09:00,890 --> 00:09:02,241 It's like a stone in my shoe. 174 00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:05,011 I can't I can't walk without feeling. 175 00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:07,313 And it's there all the time. 176 00:09:07,313 --> 00:09:10,466 And I know you might see this and think, that's a little big for your metaphor. 177 00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:12,385 That stone could never fit in your shoe. 178 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,388 But if you know what I'm talking about, you know it's not big enough. 179 00:09:18,441 --> 00:09:19,308 I walk with a limp. 180 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,747 The second stone 181 00:09:24,747 --> 00:09:27,750 is a stone in my hand. 182 00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:32,672 It's the pain I want it cause. 183 00:09:33,589 --> 00:09:35,424 Because of the things that I've felt. 184 00:09:35,424 --> 00:09:38,027 Because of the things that have been said. It's the. 185 00:09:38,027 --> 00:09:39,962 It's the word I want to let fly. 186 00:09:39,962 --> 00:09:43,349 It's the thing I would have said if I just had more time to think about it. 187 00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:44,567 It's I want to go back 188 00:09:44,567 --> 00:09:48,204 and have that same argument again, and I want to unleash my fury. 189 00:09:48,204 --> 00:09:50,606 Or maybe it's not even the Stone of aggression. 190 00:09:50,606 --> 00:09:52,258 It's a stone of passivity. 191 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,276 It's the coldness. 192 00:09:53,276 --> 00:09:55,978 I want them to feel. 193 00:09:55,978 --> 00:09:58,581 It's the event I don't go to. 194 00:09:58,581 --> 00:10:01,584 It's the birthday I don't acknowledge. 195 00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,887 It's the stone in my hand. 196 00:10:04,887 --> 00:10:05,521 And then, of course, 197 00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:09,508 because every day I wake up with a stone in my shoe and a stone in my hand. 198 00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:11,394 The third stone. You already know 199 00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:16,349 is in my heart. 200 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:18,467 Because I 201 00:10:18,467 --> 00:10:22,221 don't wake up with harmony, even on the horizon. 202 00:10:22,972 --> 00:10:25,975 It's not even on my radar. 203 00:10:25,975 --> 00:10:28,978 It's not even an aspiration. 204 00:10:30,413 --> 00:10:33,416 That relationship is dead. 205 00:10:36,018 --> 00:10:39,021 I wonder if you felt any of those stones. 206 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,259 And I know that's my experience. 207 00:10:43,259 --> 00:10:44,960 I didn't come here to teach. For my experience. 208 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,963 I came to teach you from the Bible. 209 00:10:48,631 --> 00:10:49,699 But you can tell just 210 00:10:49,699 --> 00:10:52,702 by that atmosphere in the room. 211 00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:55,321 We're in the same place. 212 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:58,374 Which is why it's not surprising when you read what the writer of Romans says. 213 00:10:58,374 --> 00:11:01,077 It's these stones he's talking about. Look what he says. 214 00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:03,446 Romans chapter 12, verse 16. Pick it up. 215 00:11:03,446 --> 00:11:09,168 The second half he says this do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. 216 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,570 Never be wise in your own sight. 217 00:11:11,570 --> 00:11:15,441 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do 218 00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:17,460 what is honorable in the sight of all. 219 00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:20,179 Repay no one evil for evil. That's pretty simple, right? 220 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:24,684 Because of the stone in your shoe, don't pick up a stone in your hand. 221 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,118 That's me. 222 00:11:26,118 --> 00:11:28,738 But even when he says don't be haughty, don't be wise. 223 00:11:28,738 --> 00:11:29,972 Don't despise the lowly. 224 00:11:29,972 --> 00:11:30,806 What's he saying? 225 00:11:30,806 --> 00:11:33,776 Don't be so sure of your own virtues. Ask. 226 00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,481 Don't be so morally superior 227 00:11:38,481 --> 00:11:41,667 that your heart is dead to them. 228 00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:45,020 It's not just that 229 00:11:45,020 --> 00:11:48,090 living in harmony needs to be said, it's that I need to hear it. 230 00:11:48,090 --> 00:11:50,209 Because there are two things that are true. 231 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:53,329 Number one, there will never be harmony in my family 232 00:11:53,329 --> 00:11:56,332 as long as there is war in my heart. 233 00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:01,520 There will never be harmony in my family. 234 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,523 As long as these stones 235 00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:06,292 are in my shoe 236 00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:09,295 and in my hand and in my heart. 237 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:14,216 Now is the disharmony of my family 238 00:12:14,216 --> 00:12:18,120 or yours, owed entirely to the stones in my hand, in heart? 239 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:19,138 Absolutely not. 240 00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:22,792 And in case you're wondering what I have to say about them, that's my fourth point. 241 00:12:22,792 --> 00:12:25,795 Hang in there. 242 00:12:26,762 --> 00:12:27,596 But no matter 243 00:12:27,596 --> 00:12:31,700 what slice of the brokenness of my family I own, 244 00:12:32,151 --> 00:12:34,887 there will never be peace as long as it's there. 245 00:12:36,138 --> 00:12:37,673 And here's the second thing 246 00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:41,727 God wants me to deal with my stones. 247 00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:45,147 After all, that's the only thing 248 00:12:45,147 --> 00:12:48,417 in the broken family relationship that I can actually aim at. 249 00:12:48,417 --> 00:12:51,003 It's the only thing I can actually affect. 250 00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:52,555 And here it is in black and white. 251 00:12:52,555 --> 00:12:57,960 God is not okay with my resignation and the brokenness of my family. 252 00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:02,731 God is not okay with the stone in my shoe, or in my hand, or in my heart. 253 00:13:02,731 --> 00:13:04,733 He wants me to deal with it. 254 00:13:04,733 --> 00:13:07,052 He wants 255 00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:10,039 harmony. 256 00:13:10,406 --> 00:13:13,409 Do I? 257 00:13:14,243 --> 00:13:17,246 Do you? 258 00:13:17,313 --> 00:13:19,765 Now, there's a danger here 259 00:13:19,765 --> 00:13:23,102 because this is a place where people get God wrong all the time. 260 00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:24,470 And the danger? 261 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:29,809 Is that what you think I'm telling you is that God is like the junior high football 262 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:34,380 coach of which I am one who's yelling at the kid on the field 263 00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:37,700 to tackle that 200 pound running back the other team has, 264 00:13:38,267 --> 00:13:42,171 as the one more yell is going to make the kid a better athlete than he is. 265 00:13:42,771 --> 00:13:45,991 Come on, try harder. 266 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,579 And that 12 year old crying out there on the field 267 00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:53,582 going, coach, I can't do it. 268 00:13:55,217 --> 00:13:55,801 There's a danger. 269 00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:57,203 You think that's what I'm telling you? 270 00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:59,221 God is like 271 00:13:59,221 --> 00:13:59,388 that. 272 00:13:59,388 --> 00:14:04,376 God is saying to you, come on, send another text, make another call, 273 00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,427 try again. 274 00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:10,082 Show up, say you're sorry again, work a little harder. 275 00:14:10,082 --> 00:14:14,186 Save your family and you're just crying on the field going, I've tried. 276 00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:16,438 I can't. 277 00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:19,258 That's not what I'm saying. 278 00:14:19,258 --> 00:14:21,293 Which is why my third point is 279 00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:24,296 I need to experience 280 00:14:25,881 --> 00:14:28,851 God doesn't move us, 281 00:14:28,851 --> 00:14:31,854 change us, lead us 282 00:14:31,854 --> 00:14:34,857 by yelling from the sidelines. 283 00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:36,709 In fact, that's the fundamental 284 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,828 difference of Christianity among any other religion in the world. 285 00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:43,799 God doesn't move us by yelling from the sideline. 286 00:14:43,866 --> 00:14:48,804 God moves us by coming on to the playing field. 287 00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:51,056 Here's what I mean. 288 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:53,909 This passage, of course, comes in the book of Romans chapter 12. 289 00:14:53,909 --> 00:14:56,912 You don't have to be a Bible scholar to know this. 290 00:14:57,079 --> 00:14:58,581 Some other stuff has happened before. 291 00:14:58,581 --> 00:15:01,584 Chapter 12. 292 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:03,836 11 chapters. 293 00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:06,021 The book of Romans, one of the greatest books in the entire Bible. 294 00:15:06,021 --> 00:15:07,489 Maybe the greatest book in the Bible. 295 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:10,859 I'm not sure if it's Orthodox to say that, but it's pretty great. 296 00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:13,946 And it's entirely about one thing. 297 00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:14,313 And you know what? 298 00:15:14,313 --> 00:15:15,147 That one thing is? 299 00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:18,150 Your greatest broken relationship. 300 00:15:19,068 --> 00:15:21,153 Because the greatest broken relationship you have 301 00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:24,139 and I have is not with a manipulative mother. 302 00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:28,527 Or an abusive father 303 00:15:28,527 --> 00:15:30,863 or rebellious brother, 304 00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:33,866 or a guilt trip giving sister. 305 00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:37,620 The greatest broken relationship you and I have is with God. 306 00:15:41,090 --> 00:15:44,393 The God that we have ignored, that we have sinned against, 307 00:15:44,393 --> 00:15:45,894 that we have rebelled against, 308 00:15:45,894 --> 00:15:49,248 that we have rejected, that we have made a mockery of friends. 309 00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:52,251 You can't understand Christianity until you understand this. 310 00:15:52,401 --> 00:15:56,538 If there is a God, then he must, as it relates to you. 311 00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:59,541 And I have a stone in his shoe. 312 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,481 And if he dies 313 00:16:05,481 --> 00:16:08,484 and he cares about justice at all, 314 00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:11,720 he must have a stone in his hand. 315 00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:16,592 And if he dies, then certainly 316 00:16:16,608 --> 00:16:20,462 when he thinks about us, he must have stone 317 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,932 in his heart. 318 00:16:23,932 --> 00:16:25,517 But in fact, he doesn't. 319 00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:28,070 In fact, one of the greatest verses and all the Bible, Romans chapter 320 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:32,508 five, verse eight says it this way, but God shows his love for us 321 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,829 in that while we were still sinners, 322 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,498 Christ died for us. 323 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,216 Do you see what that verse is saying? 324 00:16:41,216 --> 00:16:44,720 It's saying that God in a broken relationship with us, 325 00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:48,257 did not stand back and wait for us to make the first move. 326 00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:51,243 He didn't stand back and go, well, we'll see what they do 327 00:16:51,243 --> 00:16:54,680 or we'll see what they say, or we'll see what they text, or we'll see if they call. 328 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,365 Or we'll say, if they say no, no, no. 329 00:16:56,365 --> 00:17:00,652 God said, because of his love for us, because of his mercy for us, 330 00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:05,090 because of how badly he wanted harmony with us, God bent down 331 00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:10,579 and dealt with the stone in his shoe in the coming of His Son Jesus Christ, 332 00:17:11,547 --> 00:17:14,400 who lived a perfect life 333 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,201 and then went to the cross. 334 00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:19,671 And God took the stone out of his shoe, and he had it in his hand, 335 00:17:19,822 --> 00:17:22,825 and he threw it not at us. 336 00:17:24,393 --> 00:17:27,329 But at himself. 337 00:17:27,329 --> 00:17:30,332 He placed himself, his own son in between 338 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,802 us and his anger, and us in his 339 00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:37,556 and his wrath, and us and his judgment, us in our sin. 340 00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:44,613 And he eradicated it on the cross, because as his heart towards us was soft, 341 00:17:44,780 --> 00:17:47,783 God demonstrates his own love to us in this, 342 00:17:47,783 --> 00:17:51,870 that while we were the problem, while we were the cause 343 00:17:51,870 --> 00:17:55,758 of the broken family, while we were the cause of the disharmony, 344 00:17:55,791 --> 00:17:58,877 he loved us too much to wait for 345 00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:01,880 us to make the first move. 346 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:05,868 God isn't on the sidelines screaming at you to try harder as a family member. 347 00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:08,937 God is on the field showing you the 348 00:18:08,937 --> 00:18:12,558 transforming power of love. 349 00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:15,861 But it's deeper than 350 00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:19,615 that because once you come to understand this, here's what happens. 351 00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:21,650 You begin to trust God. 352 00:18:21,650 --> 00:18:22,951 And when you trust God, 353 00:18:22,951 --> 00:18:26,722 you begin to see God isn't using you to put your family back together. 354 00:18:26,722 --> 00:18:28,157 He wants actual harmony. 355 00:18:28,157 --> 00:18:31,293 Like, consider this the stone in my hand might be the hardest 356 00:18:31,293 --> 00:18:34,279 one for me to give up. 357 00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:37,533 Because if I put it down, then the family members who have hurt me 358 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:40,519 get away with it. 359 00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:45,357 There's no justice. 360 00:18:47,009 --> 00:18:49,261 But that's why Romans 12 verse 361 00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:54,116 19 says this, beloved, hear that word, beloved people that I love, 362 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:59,338 beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God. 363 00:18:59,454 --> 00:19:02,274 For it is written, vengeance is mine. 364 00:19:02,274 --> 00:19:04,593 I will repay, says the Lord. 365 00:19:04,593 --> 00:19:05,878 You see, God loves you so much. 366 00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:08,814 He says, listen, I'm not asking you to give up justice. 367 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:13,168 I'm asking you to try love and try trusting me. 368 00:19:13,168 --> 00:19:16,038 God says, give me the stone in your hand. 369 00:19:16,038 --> 00:19:17,339 I will take care of it. 370 00:19:19,975 --> 00:19:20,209 And of 371 00:19:20,209 --> 00:19:23,328 course, the experience of God's love, the experience of knowing 372 00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:26,515 you can trust him, the result of which is this Romans five five. 373 00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:31,203 God's love has poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit 374 00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:32,004 who has been given to us. 375 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:34,022 Don't you see, the experience of the gospel 376 00:19:34,022 --> 00:19:37,142 is meant to help us deal with the stone in our shoe. 377 00:19:37,159 --> 00:19:40,195 Drop the stone in our hand and have the stone 378 00:19:40,195 --> 00:19:43,198 in our heart melted. 379 00:19:43,832 --> 00:19:46,919 Friends, God wants harmony for you. 380 00:19:51,139 --> 00:19:54,977 And he can teach you how to get there. 381 00:19:56,812 --> 00:19:58,797 And I know, I know, you're going. 382 00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:01,800 Okay, fine, but it's not going to work 383 00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:04,219 and it's not going to matter. 384 00:20:04,219 --> 00:20:07,222 And they're not going to change. 385 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,841 But I knew you would feel that way because so do I. 386 00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:11,910 So here's my fourth point. 387 00:20:11,910 --> 00:20:12,928 I need this answered. 388 00:20:14,162 --> 00:20:15,380 And here's my question. 389 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:19,167 What if I do all this and nothing changes? 390 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:24,323 I want you to see, first of all, that the Bible has a category for that. 391 00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:28,377 Maybe the most poignant verse in this passage is Romans chapter 16, verse 18. 392 00:20:28,377 --> 00:20:30,412 Listen to what it says, 393 00:20:30,412 --> 00:20:33,415 if possible, 394 00:20:33,749 --> 00:20:36,752 so far as it depends on you. 395 00:20:37,219 --> 00:20:39,087 Live peaceably with all you said. 396 00:20:39,087 --> 00:20:44,993 Two qualifiers if possible, meaning it might not be so much as it depends 397 00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:48,830 on you, meaning it might not live at peace with all people. 398 00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:51,116 So you think God is unreasonable? 399 00:20:51,116 --> 00:20:54,536 You think God is asking you to throw yourself on the rocks 400 00:20:54,536 --> 00:20:58,040 of your family time and time again and just take a beating? 401 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,559 But here God is saying, listen, if possible. 402 00:21:00,559 --> 00:21:05,213 Might not be if it depends on you, it might not live at peace with all people. 403 00:21:05,213 --> 00:21:07,015 God isn't unreasonable, 404 00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:10,953 but he wants you to pursue harmony even if they won't change. 405 00:21:10,953 --> 00:21:12,888 Do you know why? 406 00:21:12,888 --> 00:21:15,891 Because the Bible has a category for your family never being healed. 407 00:21:17,392 --> 00:21:17,809 I don't know how to 408 00:21:17,809 --> 00:21:20,812 read this verse any other way, 409 00:21:20,929 --> 00:21:23,031 but it's because in your pursuit of harmony, 410 00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:26,034 what God will lead you to is freedom. 411 00:21:26,151 --> 00:21:27,619 Now what do I mean? Three ways. 412 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,938 Three ways you'll experience freedom. Here's the first one. 413 00:21:29,938 --> 00:21:32,941 Freedom from wait. 414 00:21:34,493 --> 00:21:36,228 Friends, you and I are the ones waking up 415 00:21:36,228 --> 00:21:39,231 with the stones. 416 00:21:40,766 --> 00:21:43,769 I'm tired of carrying stones in my shoe. 417 00:21:45,420 --> 00:21:48,407 I'm tired of being angry. 418 00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:50,959 I'm tired of being resigned. 419 00:21:50,959 --> 00:21:54,680 That's not hurting anyone other than me and my wife and my kids. 420 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:58,283 Because as much as I think I compartmentalize, my wife says you're 421 00:21:58,283 --> 00:22:01,286 leaking. 422 00:22:03,588 --> 00:22:06,208 God wants to deal with the stones in your heart 423 00:22:06,208 --> 00:22:09,211 and in your hand and in your shoe because they're hurting you. 424 00:22:10,278 --> 00:22:11,663 Here's the second kind of freedom. 425 00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:12,681 Freedom from guilt, 426 00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:17,219 he says, if possible, so much as it depends on you. 427 00:22:17,219 --> 00:22:20,822 You see, what he's saying is he's going, look, if you deal with the stones 428 00:22:20,822 --> 00:22:25,977 and the family still is broken, at least you'll know you're not responsible. 429 00:22:26,128 --> 00:22:29,881 Listen, don't you want to feel free of guilt? Man? 430 00:22:29,881 --> 00:22:32,484 I know I do. 431 00:22:32,484 --> 00:22:34,286 And then here's the third kind. 432 00:22:34,286 --> 00:22:37,289 Freedom to set boundaries 433 00:22:38,507 --> 00:22:40,008 if possible. 434 00:22:40,008 --> 00:22:42,294 So much is. It depends on you. 435 00:22:42,294 --> 00:22:44,663 Live at peace. Is him saying it might not be. 436 00:22:44,663 --> 00:22:47,516 And if it's not, you don't pretend that it is. 437 00:22:47,516 --> 00:22:49,067 If it's war time, you. 438 00:22:49,067 --> 00:22:51,303 You don't live as though it's peace time. 439 00:22:51,303 --> 00:22:53,004 That's what he's saying. 440 00:22:53,004 --> 00:22:56,958 Listen, if you set boundaries without dealing with the stone 441 00:22:56,958 --> 00:23:00,412 in your shoe or in your hand or in your heart, that's bitterness. 442 00:23:04,249 --> 00:23:05,934 That's being overly self-protective. 443 00:23:05,934 --> 00:23:08,336 That's defensiveness. 444 00:23:08,336 --> 00:23:10,188 But if you deal with the stones 445 00:23:10,188 --> 00:23:13,191 and you still draw boundaries, that's wisdom. 446 00:23:14,876 --> 00:23:17,696 There's a difference. 447 00:23:17,696 --> 00:23:19,398 Here's what I want to do. 448 00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:21,483 Out in the atrium at the end of the service 449 00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:24,770 is a gigantic tub, and it's full of stones. 450 00:23:27,622 --> 00:23:29,808 That's because I know you're carrying them, too. 451 00:23:29,808 --> 00:23:31,910 Maybe not everybody, 452 00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:34,229 but a lot of us and 1 453 00:23:34,229 --> 00:23:38,100 or 2 or all three of these stones have resonated with you. 454 00:23:38,100 --> 00:23:39,684 You have one in your shoe. 455 00:23:39,684 --> 00:23:41,453 You have one in your hand. 456 00:23:41,453 --> 00:23:43,021 You have one in your heart. 457 00:23:43,021 --> 00:23:44,606 And this is my challenge to you. 458 00:23:44,606 --> 00:23:48,026 Grab a stone on your way out, one for every one you carry. 459 00:23:48,827 --> 00:23:51,830 Some of you might need a wheelbarrow. 460 00:23:53,398 --> 00:23:54,900 And I want you to take that stone home. 461 00:23:54,900 --> 00:23:56,418 And you know what it represents. 462 00:23:57,919 --> 00:23:58,737 And I don't care if it's a 463 00:23:58,737 --> 00:24:01,823 day from now, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now. 464 00:24:01,823 --> 00:24:04,459 I want you to grab that stone, 465 00:24:04,459 --> 00:24:07,462 and I want you to chuck it in a lake. 466 00:24:09,030 --> 00:24:11,700 Throw it in the woods. 467 00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:14,703 Put it in the garbage. 468 00:24:15,137 --> 00:24:16,855 Because you're saying 469 00:24:16,855 --> 00:24:19,858 I want freedom. 470 00:24:20,609 --> 00:24:23,612 I want harmony, 471 00:24:24,062 --> 00:24:29,551 I want what God wants for my broken family. 472 00:24:32,938 --> 00:24:35,941 What a different place. 473 00:24:36,024 --> 00:24:38,577 This church would be 474 00:24:38,577 --> 00:24:40,428 if we were all 475 00:24:40,428 --> 00:24:42,931 just a little lighter. 476 00:24:42,931 --> 00:24:43,949 Let me pray for us. 477 00:24:43,949 --> 00:24:47,719 Father God, thank you so much for caring about broken families. 478 00:24:49,221 --> 00:24:53,909 I guess it's not too unreasonable to think you would care about perfect families. 479 00:24:53,909 --> 00:24:56,912 You. You are perfect. 480 00:24:58,797 --> 00:25:00,565 And probably those of us who come in 481 00:25:00,565 --> 00:25:03,652 with less than perfect families would understand if we were left out. 482 00:25:03,869 --> 00:25:04,436 We get it. 483 00:25:06,137 --> 00:25:09,140 We don't fit the picture. 484 00:25:10,308 --> 00:25:13,311 But God, if. 485 00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:18,183 It's just not who you are. 486 00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:22,287 And we're hitting pause 487 00:25:22,287 --> 00:25:25,290 in this series because that's what you do. 488 00:25:26,775 --> 00:25:28,159 My prayer is pretty simple. 489 00:25:28,159 --> 00:25:32,030 Just that somebody this weekend who came in with no hope 490 00:25:32,847 --> 00:25:35,850 leaves it with hope because of you. 491 00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:39,204 Not answers, not strategies, 492 00:25:39,588 --> 00:25:42,591 maybe even still carrying stones, 493 00:25:42,741 --> 00:25:45,443 but hope. 494 00:25:45,443 --> 00:25:48,179 And that that hope would grow 495 00:25:48,179 --> 00:25:51,082 and it would lead to healing. 496 00:25:51,082 --> 00:25:53,018 In Jesus name we pray. Amen.