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well

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hello all you beautiful people

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you know what time it is

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[Music]

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ladies and gents

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guys and dolls and everyone in between

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gather round

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get you something real nice to sip on

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and comfy to slip on

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because it's time

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for smut club

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here's your hosts chelsea and hannah

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[Applause]

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[Music]

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i've been told i'm a very loud clapper

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you are and it's one of my favorite

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qualities that you have did you know

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that about me

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i didn't

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we only work together remotely we've

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never been in the same room until now

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yes correct correct anyway hi i'm hannah

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welcome to smug club i'm chelsea also

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welcome to smut club woohoo

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um

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so

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last episode we did a lot of roasting of

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jeff bezos and

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we want to take a moment to recognize

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the fact that we often

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still patronize his

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business

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and in fact uh people who know me have

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know i have a lot of insomnia which is

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why i read as much as i do and sometimes

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what happens with that insomnia is i

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order some things

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from

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the amazon usually although i did also

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order a

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tarot card journal

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at three o'clock in the morning like

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right before christmas

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um i haven't used it yet but it came and

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it has stamps so that i can stamp what

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cards i pulled for different days

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um

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i don't i don't know why i did that but

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earlier this week at about two o'clock

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in the morning i did order a bodysuit

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from the amazon and some tights

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please tell us like when you say

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bodysuit that's really open for

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interpretation because there's there's

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sexy bodysuits it's there's like they're

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like

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like the catwoman is that like no so

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it's not like a jumpsuit situation it's

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more of a like an adult onesie action

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where like it

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like it's cut like a one-piece bathing

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suit on the bottom you know what i'm

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talking about and then it has like loose

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sleeves which i was excited about and

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the purpose apparently of a bodysuit of

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this design is so that you can wear like

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pants or a skirt or whatever with it and

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it won't ride up

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which is an issue i have

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you know i've seen those

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so are there legs

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no oh so it's just more like a crotch

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button a situation it is it is it stays

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it has snaps

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crotch snaps crotch snaps so one of the

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girls at work wears these a lot which is

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why i even considered perusing them

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recently and i asked her about like how

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does she how does she pee like is it a

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challenge

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you know yes you know because when i'm

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at work i don't really want to deal with

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that and she was

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she was like sometimes i just push it to

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the side and she did this weird little

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squat

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motion showed you like in my head i'm

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like it's just like when you wear a

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one-piece swimsuit and go to the

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restroom and you move it to the side i

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don't feel like i've ever needed to

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model that no i didn't i didn't need it

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demonstrated but i'm very grateful that

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it was so that should be here tomorrow

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so i'm really interested to see although

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i did order it with the thought that i

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would wear it with some of the work

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pants that i have and then i realized

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it's a little bit low plunging and my

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boobs are kind of an issue so

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oh yeah well

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you do have a client right now who's a

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little

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um romantically fixated on you

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and so maybe wait until they are

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discharged from services before you wear

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it yeah

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well the so the other day i had like i

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got home and i was changing into my pjs

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and my husband was like honey are you

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wearing two bras and i was like babe i

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am almost always wearing two bras

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because my tits are huge and they enter

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the room like 10 minutes before i do and

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i work with men and so yes i'm wearing

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two bras and he was like okay i'm really

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sorry i love you he's like wow i didn't

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know that that was going to evoke such a

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strong response out of you yeah and i

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was like i bet you're sorry

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that you said that and he was like i am

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which is also funny to me

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because well our listeners don't

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necessarily know this off the bat um

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hannah and her husband work at the same

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place we do yes that's correct do you

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all drive together no

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is there a re like do you all work

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different hours does it just like keep a

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boundary between you at work i mean it's

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partially a boundary thing but also

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i have to be in earlier than he does

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usually uh that's fair and then um so he

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does primarily intakes so

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he usually has to stay later than i do

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because intakes are coming in later in

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the day

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um

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so i usually am able to leave earlier

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but i get there earlier so well yeah you

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get there earlier and then you get to

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leave earlier and take off the double

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brow situation because while it's

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necessary for work it's also

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not comfortable for life

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that's correct yeah

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um we aren't currently sponsored by a

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bra company but if someone wanted to

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sponsor us we would be willing to try

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your products yeah i know you guys

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probably haven't actually seen me or

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like know what i look like but there's a

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lot happening here that needs support

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well that makes one of us

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so

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life's all about balance and that's what

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we bring here as well it is yeah okay so

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tell me today on smut club um

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we're gonna do some like age gap smut

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yes who doesn't love some good age gap

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smut me

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oh

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i won't tell you about it then i'll

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choose something else no i want to hear

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you you just don't like age gap smart

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like sometimes it me it it skeeves me

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out a little bit when it's like the girl

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is 17. oh no

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i think she's 19 in this one she can

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legally

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buy a lottery ticket

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she is legal to join the marines so can

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she legally drink no can she join the

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military and fight for our country

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yes

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um

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okay then

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so that's better right at least she's

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illegal yeah so and it's also

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he's like a hot 38 or 39 year old yeah

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okay

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it's like there's like a 20 year gap all

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right before i go into any of this i

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should really just tell us

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um so today we are talking about

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birthday girl by

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penelope douglas

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okay

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um yes it's a it's a fun one it's a

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relatively quick one sure

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um

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it was the first i think it was the

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first penelope douglas book i ever read

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also consequently my favorite because

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sometimes she's like

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i enjoy her books but she's a little bit

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like

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on the wrong side of bully smut

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where you're like oh this isn't

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i'm just reading cruelty

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and then they're like i'm so wet and

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you're like no one else is wet no this

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is not fun to read no i'm not into that

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so

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just throwing that out there that she

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has some other books that i've

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considered she has some other books that

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i've read

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she has some other books that have put

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me in a weird emotional place

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i was gonna throw it out here they got a

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reaction and they got you thinking so

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they did i also i like i don't do it for

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every book i read but when i leave

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book reviews on goodreads

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i like to do one sentence book reviews

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because here's the thing no one wants to

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read a [ __ ] novel sometimes i do when

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they're really terrible

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well sometimes i do if like the reviews

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are really hilarious because the book

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was so terrible yeah but i also feel

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like a lot of times people just they're

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like i'm gonna write

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a dissertation right on a book that was

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only rated 3.5 stars in the first place

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and i'm like we already know it was

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subpar i don't need a dissertation on it

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being subpar every thought i had while

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reading this book there you go yes and

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i'm like no queen no one needs that live

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your truth if that means a lot to you to

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post those reviews

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i'm not going to read them but that

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shouldn't stop you sure from living your

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life

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all that said when i leave reviews i

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tend to leave one to two sentence or

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most commonly there's a semicolon

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involved so it's still one sentence

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um and i i left a review for another one

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of her books that was not the most

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favorable well pro you know i i'm in a

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different season of life i might try

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rereading it and reviewing it at some

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point but

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yeah i think i gave it like one star and

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then my friend texts me a screenshot of

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my review that popped up on goodreads

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and she was like i spit my coffee out

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because this was so harsh and i was like

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oh okay i can be better

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so all that said please don't be better

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when you're telling me whatever you're

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about to tell me right okay so birthday

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girl

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opening cena birthday girl you got the

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birthday girl i know

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we're very confused here um

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we did not see that coming that the book

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is called birthday girl and it's we open

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on the birthday girl her name is jordan

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sure

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she works somewhere she works at a bar

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that's where she works sure somewhere

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passive um so she works at a bar she

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lives in a small town she doesn't make

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much money

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she

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her mom's an addict or dead i don't

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really remember what's happening with

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her mother we don't give a [ __ ] about

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your dead mom jordan we don't care it's

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like a side note it's not really

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like she's not close with her father and

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her step

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mother

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she is close with her older sister who

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is a stripper in town at the strip club

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called the hook

281
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:10,560
so aside from beef that's the best name

282
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:12,720
for a strip club that i've heard in a

283
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:14,640
while i'm pretty sure in the middle of

284
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,320
nowhere town where my parents live

285
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:18,079
there's a strip club called the fuzzy

286
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,680
hole

287
00:10:18,079 --> 00:10:22,240
i stand corrected

288
00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:24,000
i can't say which one is better i can

289
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:26,720
fuzzy hole is the best

290
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:28,079
town in tennessee

291
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:30,079
so i just want to point out that you

292
00:10:28,079 --> 00:10:31,920
just said bum [ __ ]

293
00:10:30,079 --> 00:10:34,480
immediately after talking about the

294
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:37,680
fuzzy hole

295
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:39,600
the bum [ __ ] town has a fuzzy hole strip

296
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:41,360
club and i think that's all you really

297
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:43,519
need to know about east tennessee yeah i

298
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:46,160
don't have it it's beautiful yeah i have

299
00:10:43,519 --> 00:10:48,720
no follow-up questions carry on go visit

300
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:50,880
no stunning i won't do that thank you

301
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,680
okay so we open

302
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:54,079
so

303
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:55,279
the bar closes jordan decides she's the

304
00:10:54,079 --> 00:10:58,399
main character she decides she's gonna

305
00:10:55,279 --> 00:11:00,880
go to the movies um her boyfriend

306
00:10:58,399 --> 00:11:03,200
hasn't picked her up from work yet rude

307
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:04,720
um i don't remember his name he's also

308
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,399
her age

309
00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:08,240
i should know his name

310
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:09,680
whatever he's not the love interest so i

311
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:10,399
don't give a [ __ ]

312
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:12,560
so

313
00:11:10,399 --> 00:11:14,959
jordan goes to the movies and she meets

314
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:17,200
this cool older gentleman

315
00:11:14,959 --> 00:11:20,720
i believe his name is pike

316
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:22,399
pike is like 38 39. he's the main love

317
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:24,880
interest so they just have like that

318
00:11:22,399 --> 00:11:26,800
connection they are [ __ ] vibing

319
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:28,640
actually this movie sure he mentions

320
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:30,399
like a poltergeist showing and she's

321
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,920
like oh like i want to go but like in

322
00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:33,680
her head she feels guilty because she's

323
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:36,000
like i have a boyfriend so i shouldn't

324
00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:37,760
like want to hang out with this dude

325
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:40,480
so then they leave the movie

326
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:44,000
her boyfriend still hasn't picked her up

327
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:46,399
um and then pike gets a phone call

328
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:48,720
saying he needs to go to the local jail

329
00:11:46,399 --> 00:11:52,079
to pick someone up plot twist

330
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:54,800
jordan is dating pike's son

331
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:57,920
i know none of us saw this coming no i'm

332
00:11:54,800 --> 00:12:01,440
frankly floored by that right it's

333
00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:02,320
uncanny like yeah wow yeah so

334
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:03,760
um

335
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:06,320
they have to go and pick him up because

336
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:08,240
he was throwing jordan a birthday party

337
00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:10,959
and then everyone got out of hand and

338
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:12,399
out of control um before jordan made it

339
00:12:10,959 --> 00:12:14,320
to her birthday party i was gonna say a

340
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:15,760
birthday party where she wasn't even

341
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,839
there yeah like he was trying to throw

342
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,959
her a surprise party and be like a sweet

343
00:12:17,839 --> 00:12:22,720
boyfriend

344
00:12:18,959 --> 00:12:25,040
and then everyone went wild and not too

345
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:28,480
turnt and then he

346
00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:30,000
got arrested they get kicked out of

347
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:31,920
their apartment that they're living in

348
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,920
together she's in school she wants to be

349
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:35,760
a landscape architect she really like

350
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:38,480
she has her head on her shoulder she's

351
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:40,639
just overcoming a lot of adversity

352
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:43,120
in her life okay and she's a hot 19 year

353
00:12:40,639 --> 00:12:44,320
old so they've now been evicted yes and

354
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:47,120
so

355
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:48,320
the aspiring landscape architect yes

356
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:50,000
jordan

357
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:54,720
who is dating

358
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:56,720
this guy yes is into the father of this

359
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:59,440
guy she didn't know was the father of

360
00:12:56,720 --> 00:13:00,880
this guy she finds out because they're

361
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,399
they have to go pick him up from jail

362
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:04,240
because he threw her a party where she

363
00:13:02,399 --> 00:13:06,959
wasn't there and it got too turnt and he

364
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:08,399
got arrested and then them evicted from

365
00:13:06,959 --> 00:13:10,160
their home yes you understand like the

366
00:13:08,399 --> 00:13:12,639
first chapter of this book that's all

367
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:15,920
the first chapter maybe the first two if

368
00:13:12,639 --> 00:13:17,519
we're feeling crazy oh my god okay okay

369
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,880
okay carry on

370
00:13:17,519 --> 00:13:21,279
so

371
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:23,279
plot twist they're evicted and they're

372
00:13:21,279 --> 00:13:25,120
like [ __ ] where are we going to live

373
00:13:23,279 --> 00:13:27,279
we should live with my father is what

374
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:30,000
the boyfriend says so jordan and her

375
00:13:27,279 --> 00:13:32,800
boyfriend move in with the hot dad who

376
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:34,959
she like is struggling with her feelings

377
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:36,480
for um

378
00:13:34,959 --> 00:13:38,800
and her boyfriend

379
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:40,639
just sucks if we're being completely

380
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:42,480
honest he's like a 19 year old idiot

381
00:13:40,639 --> 00:13:44,000
like sure no offense to 19 year olds but

382
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:46,079
i feel like most 19 year old dudes like

383
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:47,440
don't know what they're doing in life

384
00:13:46,079 --> 00:13:48,720
or they're like they're working towards

385
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:50,079
the goal but they haven't achieved it

386
00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,519
yet like no shame on you if you're

387
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:53,120
working towards something

388
00:13:51,519 --> 00:13:55,279
he's a little aimless and not really

389
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:56,639
working towards anything and she is

390
00:13:55,279 --> 00:13:59,760
working towards a lot of things now mind

391
00:13:56,639 --> 00:14:01,120
you like jordan and the boyfriend

392
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:02,880
they've been friends for a really long

393
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:04,560
time before they started dating and like

394
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:06,000
they had a traumatic experience that

395
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:08,800
they went through together where they

396
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:10,639
they lost another friend so like

397
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:12,399
the trauma bonding yeah some trauma

398
00:14:10,639 --> 00:14:14,000
bonding like they're

399
00:14:12,399 --> 00:14:14,880
are they more together

400
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:18,240
just

401
00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:19,360
out of comfort and like familiarity sure

402
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,720
who can say

403
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:24,000
i can say

404
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:27,360
actually i'm licensed and qualified to

405
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:30,639
determine as a licensed therapist in two

406
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:33,040
out of 50 states

407
00:14:30,639 --> 00:14:34,240
nice yes um

408
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,519
i will say

409
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,639
they

410
00:14:35,519 --> 00:14:39,040
don't really have any business being

411
00:14:36,639 --> 00:14:41,199
together but they were brought together

412
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:43,440
by a traumatic experience and they have

413
00:14:41,199 --> 00:14:45,040
a trauma bond and so there's a lot of

414
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,399
like oh i just like put up with their

415
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:49,120
[ __ ] because like it all like works out

416
00:14:46,399 --> 00:14:52,560
and it's fine and so

417
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:54,880
then they're living with hot dad pike

418
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:56,480
he owns a construction company sure and

419
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:58,240
like mind you like it's not like they're

420
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:59,279
not living there for on a free ride like

421
00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,880
they're supposed to help with chores

422
00:14:59,279 --> 00:15:02,399
they're supposed to do these things but

423
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:04,720
i'm sure we're all surprised to hear

424
00:15:02,399 --> 00:15:06,560
that the boyfriend

425
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:08,560
isn't pulling his weight in the house

426
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:10,959
and so jordan is like i'm gonna pull

427
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:12,800
weight for both of us and i'm gonna

428
00:15:10,959 --> 00:15:14,480
cook dinner every night and i'm gonna

429
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:16,320
clean and i'm gonna do this and i'm

430
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:19,680
gonna do that

431
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:22,079
and so she's really like

432
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:24,959
just becomes like the woman of the house

433
00:15:22,079 --> 00:15:26,800
who's running everything while her

434
00:15:24,959 --> 00:15:28,880
boyfriend

435
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,320
lives his best life with no

436
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,600
accountability

437
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,959
because he's much he's a lot more like

438
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,240
well i'm living with my dad's like who

439
00:15:32,959 --> 00:15:35,600
gives a [ __ ] if i said i was gonna do

440
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:37,040
today i can do it three days from now

441
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,000
like it doesn't matter and she's like no

442
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:40,639
if you said you're gonna do it today

443
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:42,959
like she's very principled sure

444
00:15:40,639 --> 00:15:46,160
much like a 38 or 39 year old man i

445
00:15:42,959 --> 00:15:46,160
don't remember how old he is

446
00:15:46,959 --> 00:15:50,959
so

447
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:52,480
um a storm comes through and pike is

448
00:15:50,959 --> 00:15:55,360
like [ __ ]

449
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:57,920
there's gonna be a storm we have to like

450
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:59,839
go get the construction site sealed and

451
00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:01,680
get everything put away but his son is

452
00:15:59,839 --> 00:16:03,199
sleeping so jordan's like oh volunteer

453
00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:05,360
i'll go help all of the construction

454
00:16:03,199 --> 00:16:07,199
pros that work for you and like so she

455
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:09,279
goes and helps and like they like keep

456
00:16:07,199 --> 00:16:10,880
bonding and essentially

457
00:16:09,279 --> 00:16:12,880
that's a lot of the book i'm not gonna

458
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:14,480
bore you with all of the details but

459
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:16,240
it's like then like it's her like

460
00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:17,680
showing up and like the boyfriend not

461
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,639
doing dick

462
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,560
and

463
00:16:18,639 --> 00:16:22,720
so like at one point like so wait is

464
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:24,079
boyfriend literally not doing dick

465
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:26,399
throughout the book

466
00:16:24,079 --> 00:16:27,519
he like kind of works on her car a

467
00:16:26,399 --> 00:16:29,839
little bit

468
00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:30,720
and he well no i meant like physical

469
00:16:29,839 --> 00:16:33,279
dick

470
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:35,040
oh also not much physical death

471
00:16:33,279 --> 00:16:37,519
yeah i think there's like one or two

472
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:39,680
experiences where like it's one where

473
00:16:37,519 --> 00:16:41,040
it's like we had a fight that night and

474
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:43,759
he's like all we ever do is fight

475
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:45,040
anymore like we don't bone anymore and

476
00:16:43,759 --> 00:16:46,720
then she's like i let him pull me into

477
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:48,880
the shower the next morning and i was

478
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:50,639
like that feels more like a freebie that

479
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:53,759
you gave cause you felt bad more than

480
00:16:50,639 --> 00:16:56,639
you were into it right um i mean who am

481
00:16:53,759 --> 00:16:59,040
i to look at your motivators

482
00:16:56,639 --> 00:17:01,680
i'm a therapist

483
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:03,120
that's who i am that's a situation also

484
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:05,439
can i just i

485
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:07,839
every time you say that the dude's name

486
00:17:05,439 --> 00:17:09,919
is pike i just think of like

487
00:17:07,839 --> 00:17:11,360
is that a fish isn't that like a kind of

488
00:17:09,919 --> 00:17:13,600
fish

489
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:15,439
is it i'm pretty sure

490
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:17,520
i'm pretty sure that's like a kind of

491
00:17:15,439 --> 00:17:20,240
fish and i'm not knowledgeable enough

492
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:21,280
about fish to know if it's fresh water

493
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,439
or

494
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:25,360
salt water i'm

495
00:17:23,439 --> 00:17:28,240
but i feel certain that it's the kind of

496
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:30,960
fish and and then that leads me back to

497
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:33,760
the word slippery

498
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:36,559
um so i just learned a pike fish a

499
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:40,000
northern pike a northern pike um

500
00:17:36,559 --> 00:17:40,960
is a carnivorous fish jesus right they

501
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:43,840
are

502
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:46,880
typical of brackish and fresh waters in

503
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:48,720
the northern hemisphere they're known

504
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:50,000
they are known simply as a pike they

505
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,600
aren't known as northern pike in the

506
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,600
south but they're known as a pike in

507
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:56,000
britain ireland and most of eastern

508
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:57,679
europe and canada and the united states

509
00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:01,200
so i don't know who's left calling it a

510
00:17:57,679 --> 00:18:04,400
northern pike but there is a fish tight

511
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:06,720
breed species

512
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:08,720
called a pike family order class i don't

513
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:10,080
really remember

514
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:10,960
so

515
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:13,039
okay

516
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:14,799
okay

517
00:18:13,039 --> 00:18:16,400
all right so he's named after a

518
00:18:14,799 --> 00:18:17,760
carnivorous fish and i have a lot of

519
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:20,559
questions about

520
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:23,039
what is the fish eating

521
00:18:20,559 --> 00:18:24,080
like well he wants to eat jordan i was

522
00:18:23,039 --> 00:18:27,679
gonna say

523
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:29,840
obviously he is into eating other fish

524
00:18:27,679 --> 00:18:31,200
carry on right and so he's like really

525
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,799
like

526
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:35,760
reconciling his thoughts and his

527
00:18:32,799 --> 00:18:38,320
feelings here so for sure yeah [ __ ]

528
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:40,799
son decides to throw a redo birthday

529
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:42,720
party that's just kind of a party cause

530
00:18:40,799 --> 00:18:44,720
that's what we need exactly like

531
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:47,039
jordan's like not super into it but like

532
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:48,480
pike gets her like a birthday cake and

533
00:18:47,039 --> 00:18:49,919
she's like oh like who's the cake for

534
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,200
and he's like oh like it's for you and

535
00:18:49,919 --> 00:18:52,480
like he felt embarrassed because he's

536
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:54,720
playing poker with his friends who are

537
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:56,799
also all like age-appropriate

538
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:58,400
while his son is having a party with a

539
00:18:56,799 --> 00:19:00,960
bunch of like

540
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:03,600
19 year olds in bikinis and all hanging

541
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:05,360
out at the pool sure sure and so most of

542
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:07,600
the book is this like push and pull

543
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:08,720
tension between these moments there's a

544
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,720
time so

545
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:13,039
jordan has an ex-boyfriend who had like

546
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:14,559
assaulted her at some point and like

547
00:19:13,039 --> 00:19:16,640
that's obviously bad news bears no one

548
00:19:14,559 --> 00:19:18,799
is a fan of assault sure i think his

549
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:20,400
name was jay

550
00:19:18,799 --> 00:19:21,280
he was a side character i didn't give a

551
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,840
[ __ ]

552
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:24,880
so

553
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:26,080
um jay

554
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:29,200
like

555
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:31,280
likes to show up likes to try and like

556
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:32,880
still [ __ ] with her like it's still like

557
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:35,200
you don't know if he's into her or if

558
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:39,200
he's just like antagonizing her right

559
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:41,120
right and so there's a scene where

560
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:44,160
jordan's boyfriend doesn't pick her up

561
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:46,240
from work again again i know we're all

562
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:48,240
surprised he's a

563
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:50,160
19 year old with no responsibilities on

564
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:53,520
his plate who's partying and not picking

565
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:56,799
up his hard-working girlfriend from work

566
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:57,919
color me shocked i'm not i'm floored

567
00:19:56,799 --> 00:20:00,080
she

568
00:19:57,919 --> 00:20:02,559
is like okay she like she closes down

569
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:05,039
and then she goes to leave and

570
00:20:02,559 --> 00:20:07,039
jay is outside to pick her up and she's

571
00:20:05,039 --> 00:20:09,520
like where like

572
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:11,600
where's my boyfriend and he's like oh

573
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:13,360
well like he got trashed so like he

574
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,480
asked me to come pick you up and she's

575
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:16,240
like he would never ask that because he

576
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,679
knows like you assaulted me and i'm like

577
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:19,520
not cool with you and so she's like i

578
00:20:17,679 --> 00:20:21,440
won't like go anywhere with you and so

579
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:23,919
she goes inside and locks herself in the

580
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:24,799
bar for the night

581
00:20:23,919 --> 00:20:26,480
so

582
00:20:24,799 --> 00:20:28,720
pike sees

583
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:30,640
she wasn't home that night and he calls

584
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:33,600
her and is like i can't believe you

585
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:34,960
would like pull this [ __ ] on my son i

586
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:37,120
thought you were honorable i thought you

587
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:39,039
were respectful you're out doing lord

588
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:41,679
knows what with who knows what

589
00:20:39,039 --> 00:20:44,559
um rude and a lot of assumptions so many

590
00:20:41,679 --> 00:20:47,120
assumptions carnivorous fish did not ask

591
00:20:44,559 --> 00:20:48,880
any questions this [ __ ] carnivorous

592
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:51,120
fish

593
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:52,960
he felt like a real putts about it later

594
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:55,600
i'll tell you that much

595
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:57,280
so he's pike the putts pike the putts

596
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:59,600
the carnivorous

597
00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:02,640
the carnivorous fish everybody knows we

598
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:04,480
love alliteration we really like i'm a

599
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:06,480
[ __ ] for alliteration

600
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:08,000
i love it it's the best i'm sure your

601
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:11,440
husband loves that

602
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:13,120
yes i'll ask him later but hey

603
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:16,400
could you speak in some alliterations

604
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:19,600
for me how do you feel about a living

605
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,600
awesome alliteration

606
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:25,039
anyway so that's where we're at so

607
00:21:22,799 --> 00:21:26,799
pike makes all of these assumptions

608
00:21:25,039 --> 00:21:28,880
pretentious pike makes all of these

609
00:21:26,799 --> 00:21:30,799
assumptions and then

610
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:32,320
shows up at the bar

611
00:21:30,799 --> 00:21:35,280
and then the owner of the bar that

612
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:37,679
jordan works at is like she's a good kid

613
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:40,320
no she didn't get in jay's car or like

614
00:21:37,679 --> 00:21:42,000
didn't go with jay last night because he

615
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:43,760
assaulted her and she didn't feel

616
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,600
comfortable and so then pike is like i'm

617
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:48,559
such an ass because i like laid into

618
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:50,799
this girl for like cheating on my son

619
00:21:48,559 --> 00:21:52,000
all these things right um vin pike

620
00:21:50,799 --> 00:21:53,280
decides like i don't remember if this

621
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,679
was before or after that scene but like

622
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:58,640
pike decides that he's gonna remodel the

623
00:21:55,679 --> 00:22:00,240
guest bathroom which is their bathroom

624
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,600
in his house

625
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:04,080
and so

626
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:06,000
they have to use the master bath

627
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:08,240
for showers and things of that capacity

628
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:10,400
like at some point jordan's in the

629
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:13,360
shower and she's like fantasizing about

630
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:16,799
pike and like starts masturbating

631
00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:19,120
and then uses his loofah

632
00:22:16,799 --> 00:22:21,120
between her

633
00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:23,520
but then like doesn't realize it's his

634
00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:25,440
luffa until afterwards and it's like

635
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:27,360
hold on hold on who else is luffa would

636
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:28,799
it be hers

637
00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:29,919
she thought it was her own like wouldn't

638
00:22:28,799 --> 00:22:31,679
you know

639
00:22:29,919 --> 00:22:33,600
your own loofah like i mean if you look

640
00:22:31,679 --> 00:22:35,600
at the color of it probably if your eyes

641
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:40,240
are closed maybe not like i would know

642
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:42,080
if it's my loofah from texture

643
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:44,799
have some questions i don't feel like i

644
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:46,960
would be blindly groping around the

645
00:22:44,799 --> 00:22:48,880
shower for a loofah

646
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:50,559
like i guess if you're just like open

647
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:52,240
for that in the moment and you're

648
00:22:50,559 --> 00:22:53,919
masturbating and you have your eyes

649
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,600
closed unless you masturbate with your

650
00:22:53,919 --> 00:22:57,919
eyes open and then you just like reach

651
00:22:55,600 --> 00:23:00,000
back behind you and grab whatever loofah

652
00:22:57,919 --> 00:23:02,320
is most available no no no and then you

653
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:05,200
put it between your legs no no no i feel

654
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:07,679
like even if you're mid masturbate if

655
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:09,919
you are reaching for a loofah you at

656
00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:12,240
least slit your eyes to like figure out

657
00:23:09,919 --> 00:23:14,799
what you're grabbing right well and so

658
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:16,720
then she like finishes and then is like

659
00:23:14,799 --> 00:23:18,880
his loofah yeah like using his luffa

660
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:20,320
because friction obviously and then

661
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:23,320
she's like oh i should buy him a new

662
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,320
loofah

663
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:31,840
he's masturbating in the shower thinking

664
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:34,240
about her

665
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:37,280
and then he's like where the [ __ ] is my

666
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:39,600
loofah so she does so she never replaced

667
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:41,440
it she took the loofah

668
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:43,360
it wasn't just that she used it she took

669
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:46,159
it well she threw it out because she's

670
00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:48,559
like i did orgasm on this lupa the least

671
00:23:46,159 --> 00:23:50,480
i can do is buy the man a new one

672
00:23:48,559 --> 00:23:51,760
um and then i don't and then apparently

673
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:53,200
she didn't get around to it before he

674
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,799
was also masturbating in the shower but

675
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:57,039
i also feel like you got to replace the

676
00:23:54,799 --> 00:23:58,240
luffa like within a 24-hour time frame

677
00:23:57,039 --> 00:24:00,880
yeah you know like i don't know

678
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:03,520
priorities and stuff like how long was

679
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:05,200
it between showers where like at one at

680
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:08,000
what point was he was like was he like

681
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:08,799
my luffa is missing right and i need it

682
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:09,919
right

683
00:24:08,799 --> 00:24:12,799
so it is definitely something to

684
00:24:09,919 --> 00:24:15,520
consider so okay so we left off with him

685
00:24:12,799 --> 00:24:17,840
masturbating in the shower and

686
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:20,080
so was he looking for his luffa to then

687
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:21,840
finish or was he finished and then just

688
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:23,760
gonna actually shower i think it was

689
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,880
more of that he's like where the [ __ ] is

690
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:27,360
my luffa

691
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:28,799
he's like i got off where is my luffa

692
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:30,559
now that i think about it i don't

693
00:24:28,799 --> 00:24:32,880
imagine a dude would want to use a luffa

694
00:24:30,559 --> 00:24:36,960
while masturbating but as a woman i

695
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:39,600
i i don't feel like i can speak to that

696
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:44,480
as a woman i can't speak to that

697
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:44,480
as a man i will say they probably aren't

698
00:24:44,559 --> 00:24:49,360
i feel like that's what i just heard you

699
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:52,400
say like i mean i don't know but i would

700
00:24:49,360 --> 00:24:54,320
think like that would not be pleasant

701
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:57,679
well so at some point in this

702
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:59,760
masturbatory journey

703
00:24:57,679 --> 00:25:01,520
sure it and it is a journey it is a

704
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,960
journey right so jordan gets home from

705
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,840
work

706
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,120
and

707
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,480
um

708
00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:08,640
like there's all of this just like

709
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:11,360
tension with her and pike and like she

710
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:12,480
like calls them like mr lawson sometimes

711
00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:14,720
and you're like oh is there like some

712
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:17,760
reluctance like what's happening here

713
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:19,200
and so like she's standing in the house

714
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:21,919
she gets home from work pike is also

715
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:24,720
standing there they look out in the yard

716
00:25:21,919 --> 00:25:28,240
and [ __ ] boyfriend son

717
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:29,760
is in the pool with another girl what

718
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:32,880
who's like

719
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:35,039
they're like mid whatever they're doing

720
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:36,640
sure i don't know if i don't know where

721
00:25:35,039 --> 00:25:38,000
they were in their journey i don't well

722
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:40,240
i could if i opened the book i don't

723
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:41,760
really remember where it was like like a

724
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:44,080
pool bang

725
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:47,200
yeah just like a i mean a two-person

726
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,200
pool bang i feel like

727
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,799
i didn't realize that need to be

728
00:25:48,799 --> 00:25:53,120
designated although considering we did

729
00:25:50,799 --> 00:25:54,000
reverse harem last time i guess it is

730
00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:56,159
worth

731
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:58,159
right differentiating yeah like jordan

732
00:25:56,159 --> 00:26:00,320
didn't see her boyfriend boning someone

733
00:25:58,159 --> 00:26:02,720
else in a pool and was like i should go

734
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:05,360
join them right right instead she was

735
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:07,200
like what the [ __ ] and oh has this been

736
00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:08,480
going on cause like like for a while

737
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:10,000
because like it feels like we haven't

738
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:12,080
been like as in touch lately and then

739
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:15,360
you find out like this all started at

740
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:17,919
her birthday party that she missed

741
00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:19,520
because he threw it he was that where

742
00:26:17,919 --> 00:26:21,760
the book started they've been boning

743
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:23,440
since the book started right

744
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:26,720
so he's like

745
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:28,960
i'll leave i'll go stay with this girl

746
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:31,120
and jordan can keep living here with my

747
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:33,919
father because i know she doesn't have

748
00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:35,200
any other place to live

749
00:26:33,919 --> 00:26:37,120
um

750
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:39,600
and then there's just a lot of that like

751
00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:42,000
back and forth tension there's a block

752
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,960
party at some point for one of pike's

753
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,559
friends

754
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,400
jordan leaves with some like

755
00:26:44,559 --> 00:26:48,559
age-appropriate people and there's a

756
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:50,080
dude who's clearly into her

757
00:26:48,559 --> 00:26:51,520
and so like pike is all out of sorts

758
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:53,200
about it

759
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,480
and so then like jordan's like nothing's

760
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,080
gonna happen but she like doesn't say

761
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:58,720
that to pike and then like she gets home

762
00:26:56,080 --> 00:27:02,240
from this gathering and pike has an

763
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:04,799
age-appropriate lady over oh my stars

764
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:08,159
and so jordan just starts like actin a

765
00:27:04,799 --> 00:27:10,320
fool and she starts like slamming the

766
00:27:08,159 --> 00:27:11,760
laundry door like the like the washer

767
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:12,960
and dryer doors and just like making all

768
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:15,279
of this noise and like really like

769
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:16,960
trying to be a [ __ ] about it sure and

770
00:27:15,279 --> 00:27:18,159
so

771
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:20,960
then

772
00:27:18,159 --> 00:27:22,799
pike kicks the lady out

773
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:24,640
i know we're all surprised by this and

774
00:27:22,799 --> 00:27:26,159
then they're like oh like

775
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,440
he's like you're too young and there's

776
00:27:26,159 --> 00:27:28,640
all this tension she's like i guess i'll

777
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,320
find someone else to [ __ ] me the way i

778
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:32,000
want to be [ __ ] or like whatever it is

779
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:34,720
sure and then he's like no one else is

780
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:36,159
gonna take my job and then they bone

781
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,679
and so then you're like oh like what's

782
00:27:36,159 --> 00:27:39,039
gonna happen now because it's still some

783
00:27:37,679 --> 00:27:41,279
weird territory and the son still

784
00:27:39,039 --> 00:27:43,279
doesn't know that his dad is into his

785
00:27:41,279 --> 00:27:44,480
ex-girlfriend right

786
00:27:43,279 --> 00:27:45,840
and so then they're like they're trying

787
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:48,880
to navigate it

788
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:50,159
and so like the morning after they bone

789
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:53,440
pike's

790
00:27:50,159 --> 00:27:54,799
ex-wife ex-girlfriend the son's mother

791
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:56,240
shows up and

792
00:27:54,799 --> 00:27:57,840
they have a conversation then he's like

793
00:27:56,240 --> 00:28:01,120
psyching himself out because he's like i

794
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:03,120
have no business right boning a 19 year

795
00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:04,000
old girl

796
00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:05,919
so

797
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,600
that night

798
00:28:05,919 --> 00:28:09,039
you know mind you jordan is always hard

799
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,799
up for money she's always hard up for

800
00:28:09,039 --> 00:28:13,360
cash she works in a small town at a bar

801
00:28:10,799 --> 00:28:15,279
that's like not like a bougie bar

802
00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:18,240
and so her sister is like hey we're

803
00:28:15,279 --> 00:28:19,919
having this wet t-shirt contest

804
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:23,120
at the strip club you should come and

805
00:28:19,919 --> 00:28:26,240
participate in at the hook at the hook

806
00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:28,080
yes the strip club the hook

807
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:31,200
and her sister was also kind enough hold

808
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:33,440
on so is does pike wind up on the hook

809
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:35,039
oh did he i'm really sorry i just said

810
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:37,600
that no he ends up he ends up in the

811
00:28:35,039 --> 00:28:37,600
fuzzy hole

812
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:41,279
i'm really sorry i said that but i'm not

813
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:43,600
sorry about where it ended up no you

814
00:28:41,279 --> 00:28:44,559
shouldn't be never apologize for that

815
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:47,120
so

816
00:28:44,559 --> 00:28:48,720
jordan is like oh well like i know like

817
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:50,240
pike was like i want you home when i get

818
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,120
home and she's always making dinner and

819
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:52,159
so

820
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:55,360
she like

821
00:28:52,159 --> 00:28:57,440
has a movie queued up has the pizza

822
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:58,559
and he like doesn't come home

823
00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,000
and just like doesn't show up because

824
00:28:58,559 --> 00:29:02,080
he's kind of psyched himself out about

825
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:04,559
this whole experience and relationship

826
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:06,799
between them and so like she calls his

827
00:29:04,559 --> 00:29:09,360
like

828
00:29:06,799 --> 00:29:10,799
co-worker best friend whoever he is and

829
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:12,559
i was like hey

830
00:29:10,799 --> 00:29:14,480
um i like i

831
00:29:12,559 --> 00:29:15,760
i don't i think pike's cell phone died

832
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,200
like trying to get a hold of him like

833
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,720
what time are y'all leaving the site

834
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,919
like the work site and drop site and

835
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:22,240
he's like oh

836
00:29:19,919 --> 00:29:23,600
oh well we ended hours ago like pike's

837
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:25,760
been at the bar

838
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:27,360
with some friends and so she's like [ __ ]

839
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:28,640
this [ __ ] i'm not sitting around i'm not

840
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:31,039
waiting for him i just need to go make

841
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:32,480
my own money do my own thing so

842
00:29:31,039 --> 00:29:34,799
she decides

843
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:36,960
to go to the hook and participate in

844
00:29:34,799 --> 00:29:39,919
this contest that her sister

845
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:42,159
has pre-purchased the lingerie for her

846
00:29:39,919 --> 00:29:44,159
to wear to this because like

847
00:29:42,159 --> 00:29:46,640
what are sisters for very convenient

848
00:29:44,159 --> 00:29:49,360
yeah right although to be fair i have

849
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:52,559
sisters and i have never purchased

850
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:56,000
either of them lingerie

851
00:29:52,559 --> 00:29:58,720
of any kind i think i bought my sister

852
00:29:56,000 --> 00:30:01,600
lingerie for her bachelorette party and

853
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:05,039
vice versa but i think that's like

854
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:07,279
the gist of it yeah i don't think like

855
00:30:05,039 --> 00:30:09,279
it's never like hey i was just at the

856
00:30:07,279 --> 00:30:10,720
department store and thought i'd pick

857
00:30:09,279 --> 00:30:12,480
you up a little something something like

858
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:14,480
that never happened i was just thinking

859
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:15,760
about you and i saw this and i was like

860
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:18,640
oh my god you know who would look

861
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:20,080
amazing in this my sister

862
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:21,919
but also would that be a good birthday

863
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:23,919
party theme one year like no one ever

864
00:30:21,919 --> 00:30:25,919
gives you nice underwear or lingerie

865
00:30:23,919 --> 00:30:27,760
unless it's your bachelorette party

866
00:30:25,919 --> 00:30:28,720
right so like what if i was just like

867
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:31,200
hey

868
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:33,840
for my birthday i wanna have a lingerie

869
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:36,320
party where you just buy me lingerie i

870
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:37,600
mean

871
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:39,679
sure

872
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:40,960
if that's what you want to do

873
00:30:39,679 --> 00:30:43,200
like it

874
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:44,559
it feels a little like controversial but

875
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:47,039
it's not the weirdest thought i've ever

876
00:30:44,559 --> 00:30:49,600
had it could be fun it's a theme

877
00:30:47,039 --> 00:30:51,760
it is it's a theme some people do like

878
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:55,360
golf as a theme

879
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:57,519
why not do lingerie sure right yeah

880
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:59,120
so jordan is wearing this lingerie at

881
00:30:57,519 --> 00:31:01,200
the hook not the fuzzy hole that one's

882
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:02,399
in tennessee this one isn't a book

883
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,600
so

884
00:31:02,399 --> 00:31:05,840
at the hook

885
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:08,159
and lingerie is covering her fuzzy hole

886
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:10,240
to be clear

887
00:31:08,159 --> 00:31:13,600
you are correct

888
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:15,279
and so pike gets home and like sees that

889
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:17,039
like jordan's not there and then he's

890
00:31:15,279 --> 00:31:19,039
starting to feel guilty and he like sees

891
00:31:17,039 --> 00:31:21,360
like the pizza and he sees it like the

892
00:31:19,039 --> 00:31:22,240
tv was already queued up for this movie

893
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:24,240
because she thought they were having

894
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:26,159
this like date night and he just like

895
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:28,000
didn't show up and didn't call her or

896
00:31:26,159 --> 00:31:29,840
communicate with her

897
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,679
so

898
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:33,360
she goes to this contest and then he's

899
00:31:31,679 --> 00:31:35,440
like i'm gonna dress up for her i'm

900
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,880
gonna let her know she matters so he

901
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:39,200
puts on a suit

902
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:41,600
and goes to the hook

903
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:44,240
and is like they're watching her like

904
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:46,720
get pulled onto stage reluctantly

905
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:48,159
and then they like poured a pitcher of

906
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:49,360
water on her head even though she'd been

907
00:31:48,159 --> 00:31:51,039
saying no and then he's like this is

908
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:52,480
mine like no one else should like see

909
00:31:51,039 --> 00:31:56,080
what's mine

910
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:56,080
right that like possessive energy so

911
00:31:56,240 --> 00:32:01,120
he then is like come with me and they're

912
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:03,200
like making out and the

913
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:04,799
strip club parking lot

914
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:07,919
and then he like has his mouth on her

915
00:32:04,799 --> 00:32:10,559
boob and then a cop drives by that he

916
00:32:07,919 --> 00:32:12,240
knows like hey man is that what's his

917
00:32:10,559 --> 00:32:13,679
face his daughter there and he's like

918
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:15,440
yeah

919
00:32:13,679 --> 00:32:17,120
and so then they go home and on the

920
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:19,039
drive home he's like yeah well like i

921
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:21,519
know like you like never like strip like

922
00:32:19,039 --> 00:32:23,279
you don't have it in you and she's like

923
00:32:21,519 --> 00:32:25,279
[ __ ] you i do have to send me i just

924
00:32:23,279 --> 00:32:26,720
don't want to do it for a living

925
00:32:25,279 --> 00:32:28,320
so she's like hey why don't we like get

926
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,840
in our swimsuits and like go swimming

927
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:32,000
and like hang out in the pool he's like

928
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:33,360
all right sounds good and

929
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,960
he's not really thinking about it so she

930
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:37,919
goes up and then locks herself in her

931
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:39,679
bedroom and then facetimes him

932
00:32:37,919 --> 00:32:41,360
and then is like

933
00:32:39,679 --> 00:32:43,519
let me show you

934
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:45,760
my sexy dance moves and she has like

935
00:32:43,519 --> 00:32:49,360
music on and she's like stripping in her

936
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:51,279
bedroom on facetime for her well he's

937
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:52,399
downstairs yeah like he's on the couch

938
00:32:51,279 --> 00:32:55,279
on facetime

939
00:32:52,399 --> 00:32:56,480
they're in the same building yeah okay

940
00:32:55,279 --> 00:32:58,799
so then

941
00:32:56,480 --> 00:33:00,960
he goes up and like is like oh i'm so

942
00:32:58,799 --> 00:33:02,480
hard right now like we like got like i

943
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:04,399
like i want to be a part of this and

944
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:06,159
then her bedroom door is locked and

945
00:33:04,399 --> 00:33:07,519
she's like you said i didn't have it in

946
00:33:06,159 --> 00:33:08,960
me and i definitely did and then he like

947
00:33:07,519 --> 00:33:10,960
watches her like

948
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:13,039
orgasm while riding the side of her desk

949
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:14,720
or something like that what and then

950
00:33:13,039 --> 00:33:15,679
he's like open the door and she's like

951
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:19,039
that makes

952
00:33:15,679 --> 00:33:19,039
less sense than a loofah

953
00:33:19,279 --> 00:33:23,840
well like how like i'm trying to imagine

954
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:26,159
like the position you have to be in and

955
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:30,000
like the on the corner angle

956
00:33:26,159 --> 00:33:32,080
ow i don't i don't like that but okay

957
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:34,159
i mean whatever

958
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:37,039
floats your penis i guess or your [ __ ] i

959
00:33:34,159 --> 00:33:39,120
don't know whatever floats your penis

960
00:33:37,039 --> 00:33:40,720
i don't think that's a saying it might

961
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:42,080
become a saying

962
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:44,320
it's not whatever floats your boat

963
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:47,840
whatever floods your dick

964
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:49,360
do it sure yeah so then he's like let me

965
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:51,919
and she's like no like you said i

966
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:53,600
couldn't do it and i can and like i'm

967
00:33:51,919 --> 00:33:55,760
gonna go to bed now

968
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:57,679
and so then like good night i'm really

969
00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:59,760
relaxed because i gave myself a desk

970
00:33:57,679 --> 00:34:01,919
orgasm thank you yes you told me i

971
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:05,200
couldn't strip so i [ __ ] myself on the

972
00:34:01,919 --> 00:34:07,360
side of a desk joke's on you oh

973
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:08,960
and so then he's like goes to bed and is

974
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:11,119
sexually frustrated and then she like

975
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:12,960
texts him and she's like she's like

976
00:34:11,119 --> 00:34:15,760
don't masturbate like don't touch

977
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:17,359
yourself and so she's like you know like

978
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,879
you have to like sleep like and he

979
00:34:17,359 --> 00:34:22,079
apparently just says okay i'm like

980
00:34:18,879 --> 00:34:24,079
you're a 38 or 39 year old man bro

981
00:34:22,079 --> 00:34:25,440
you do not need to just like

982
00:34:24,079 --> 00:34:26,399
wait

983
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:28,639
right

984
00:34:26,399 --> 00:34:30,079
and so then the next day his business

985
00:34:28,639 --> 00:34:31,440
partner best friend like calls her and

986
00:34:30,079 --> 00:34:32,800
he's like hey like you know i like pikes

987
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,839
like a lot of stories he's like super

988
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,679
pissed he

989
00:34:33,839 --> 00:34:37,200
he put like

990
00:34:35,679 --> 00:34:38,800
three times the amount of nails in the

991
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,399
drywall

992
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:42,720
and he was like he's heading home

993
00:34:40,399 --> 00:34:44,560
earlier all the nails exactly all the

994
00:34:42,720 --> 00:34:45,760
nails in the drywall

995
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:47,520
and so

996
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:49,359
hike heads home early and then like

997
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:51,200
she's sunbathing in the front yard and

998
00:34:49,359 --> 00:34:53,679
the suburbs i don't know

999
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:56,000
and then he's like get in the house and

1000
00:34:53,679 --> 00:34:57,440
then a neighbor's like hey

1001
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:59,119
she's the girl and she's like are you

1002
00:34:57,440 --> 00:35:00,480
interested in babysitting i heard you

1003
00:34:59,119 --> 00:35:01,839
babysat for this other neighbor and then

1004
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:03,920
it's just like this weird thing like

1005
00:35:01,839 --> 00:35:06,400
once again really noting

1006
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:07,760
their age differences sure sure

1007
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:10,320
so they bone

1008
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:12,400
and then like that's where we're at

1009
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:14,400
uh-huh uh-huh there's no blood play i

1010
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:17,040
don't i'm sorry to disappoint you

1011
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:18,480
there's no blood play i mean

1012
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:20,160
all right not everything can be done at

1013
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:22,960
vipers am i right

1014
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:24,640
so not every man can be diesel

1015
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:26,800
wearing a sequin

1016
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:28,960
unicorn fanny pack

1017
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:32,160
precisely well so pike doesn't have one

1018
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:34,400
of those because he's not a [ __ ]

1019
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:36,160
does he keep grenades and tacos anywhere

1020
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:39,040
where do where is he where does he keep

1021
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:39,920
his grenades and tacos

1022
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:41,440
so

1023
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:43,599
jordan and pike are like getting into

1024
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:45,200
this like better space and like okay

1025
00:35:43,599 --> 00:35:46,800
like she's still like you have to like

1026
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:49,520
tell your son

1027
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:53,200
at some point like right and

1028
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:56,079
then his ex calls them and is like hey

1029
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:58,720
the power like the ac is that at my

1030
00:35:56,079 --> 00:36:02,480
house we need to come stay with you so

1031
00:35:58,720 --> 00:36:05,119
now his ex who he like casually bones

1032
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:07,359
when the mood strikes historically sure

1033
00:36:05,119 --> 00:36:10,000
and his sons

1034
00:36:07,359 --> 00:36:12,160
are now moving back in with him oh dear

1035
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,440
and so jordan had moved out of the

1036
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,960
bedroom that she had shared with the

1037
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,800
ex-boyfriend

1038
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:19,520
and so they're like it's a three-bedroom

1039
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:21,280
is what i've i've gathered um she moves

1040
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:22,320
into the third bedroom because she's

1041
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,440
like i'm not sleeping in that room

1042
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:26,560
anymore

1043
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:29,119
and then the mom is like like pike is

1044
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:30,720
like cool like tells his ex his son's

1045
00:36:29,119 --> 00:36:32,880
mom he's like cool you can sleep on the

1046
00:36:30,720 --> 00:36:34,880
couch and she's like well why can't i

1047
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:36,160
just sleep in that bedroom and he's like

1048
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:38,000
well that's because that's jordan's

1049
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:39,680
bedroom and she's like well why can't

1050
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:41,119
she just sleep in the same room as our

1051
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:42,640
son like it's just sleep for a few

1052
00:36:41,119 --> 00:36:45,839
nights does it really matter

1053
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:48,320
and oh it does matter because she's mine

1054
00:36:45,839 --> 00:36:50,880
yes but like he won't say that and like

1055
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:53,280
won't announce it and then

1056
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:54,560
so then like jordan like calls his bluff

1057
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:56,640
and he's like no it's fine like it's

1058
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:58,880
just sleep why wouldn't i and so then

1059
00:36:56,640 --> 00:37:01,040
like neither of them can sleep like

1060
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:02,640
jordan and pike then like

1061
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:04,560
find each other like sitting out by the

1062
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:06,400
pool in the middle of the night to like

1063
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:08,480
have these conversations cause i can't

1064
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:10,800
sleep without you baby right and then

1065
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:12,880
it's like well just tell him like you

1066
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:14,240
gotta like

1067
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:16,160
you gotta tell him at some point if

1068
00:37:14,240 --> 00:37:17,680
we're gonna move forward and he's like i

1069
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:18,960
can't like do that because like he's

1070
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:20,480
never had a great relationship with his

1071
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,760
son and it's always been pretty volatile

1072
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,960
and he's like you can't lose them and

1073
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:24,480
she's like okay well then like you're

1074
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,839
gonna lose me but like that's chilled in

1075
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:28,160
that show right where are your

1076
00:37:25,839 --> 00:37:31,359
priorities do you want this 19 year old

1077
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:34,480
fuzzy hole or do you want your son

1078
00:37:31,359 --> 00:37:37,680
i hated everything about that sentence

1079
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:40,640
but also yeah and so

1080
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:42,720
oh god to be fair

1081
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:44,880
i don't fully remember we read a lot of

1082
00:37:42,720 --> 00:37:46,720
books we do and

1083
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:49,680
um

1084
00:37:46,720 --> 00:37:51,040
so he doesn't tell his son and then like

1085
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:52,640
jordan's like going about her life and

1086
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:54,400
going to work and at one point like she

1087
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:55,599
comes home

1088
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:57,520
and

1089
00:37:55,599 --> 00:37:59,920
plot twist her ex-boyfriend is throwing

1090
00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:02,160
another party at his dad's house

1091
00:37:59,920 --> 00:38:03,839
i'm sensing a theme well and son has

1092
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:06,079
told dad he's like hey like i broke up

1093
00:38:03,839 --> 00:38:08,320
with that other girl like i got this job

1094
00:38:06,079 --> 00:38:09,440
with benefits it starts like next week

1095
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:11,440
i'm really excited about it and it's

1096
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:13,920
like oh wow like okay like he's really

1097
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:15,040
doing [ __ ] with his life

1098
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:16,839
so

1099
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:20,880
then his son is throwing this

1100
00:38:16,839 --> 00:38:23,680
party jay the [ __ ] x is at the party

1101
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:26,480
and like comes on to jordan jordan like

1102
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:28,720
usurps it and then at someone like her

1103
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:31,040
and pike you're like fighting and jay

1104
00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:32,400
like sees it and he starts like

1105
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,880
calling jordan

1106
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:36,640
derogatory names so then like

1107
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:38,560
then they start when he like like he

1108
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:40,800
punches him and it becomes this fight

1109
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:43,040
and then the son shows up and then like

1110
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:45,040
it gets announced that his dad is

1111
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:47,359
[ __ ] his ex-girlfriend and it becomes

1112
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:49,040
whole right so like that's really the

1113
00:38:47,359 --> 00:38:51,440
scene where it all like plays out that's

1114
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:54,000
like a that's a scene that's a lot

1115
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:57,119
happening there in the front yard of in

1116
00:38:54,000 --> 00:39:00,079
the front yard yes why didn't anything

1117
00:38:57,119 --> 00:39:01,359
like that ever happen in my neighborhood

1118
00:39:00,079 --> 00:39:04,400
because you live in the middle of

1119
00:39:01,359 --> 00:39:06,320
nowhere in north georgia i do

1120
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:07,839
but like i still live in a neighborhood

1121
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:09,839
though there are still people who are

1122
00:39:07,839 --> 00:39:11,599
depraved and weird why can't they do it

1123
00:39:09,839 --> 00:39:14,960
outside well so when i used to work

1124
00:39:11,599 --> 00:39:16,320
crisis there was like

1125
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:18,240
there was

1126
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:20,320
a very like residential area in

1127
00:39:18,240 --> 00:39:23,359
nashville and i went and there was a

1128
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:26,320
woman she was not doing well and needed

1129
00:39:23,359 --> 00:39:28,240
to be put in a psychiatric hospital sure

1130
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:29,520
like she was like sweeping her roof in

1131
00:39:28,240 --> 00:39:30,720
the rain

1132
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:32,160
and like

1133
00:39:30,720 --> 00:39:33,760
yeah it was very much like i had to let

1134
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:36,160
the trees grow over my house because

1135
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:38,320
like the cia's spying on me kind of

1136
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:39,280
energy oh man um she wouldn't get off

1137
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:40,880
her roof

1138
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:42,240
and then the police were looking at me

1139
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:44,000
like how do we get her off her roof and

1140
00:39:42,240 --> 00:39:45,280
i was like that's a you problem i just

1141
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:47,680
write the paperwork together into a

1142
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:50,000
hospital right i know for

1143
00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:52,880
for kittens you call the fire department

1144
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:54,160
so maybe give them give them a ring just

1145
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,520
see um

1146
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:57,680
as someone who worked for the fire

1147
00:39:55,520 --> 00:40:00,960
department they would not have come i

1148
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:01,839
know i know and so

1149
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,920
yeah

1150
00:40:01,839 --> 00:40:06,800
what was interesting to me was the lady

1151
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:08,480
finally she was to be to her credit she

1152
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:10,079
took the ladder down from the roof and

1153
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:12,720
was trying to sneak back into her house

1154
00:40:10,079 --> 00:40:15,200
not knowing police were behind her house

1155
00:40:12,720 --> 00:40:16,960
and so then she like got hog tied and

1156
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:19,280
they're like taking her to her car and

1157
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:22,560
it's like a very residential area and

1158
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:24,800
i'm on the street in the rain while all

1159
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:26,640
of this is happening and like the five

1160
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:28,880
surrounding houses where all of these

1161
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:32,160
just like hipster millennials

1162
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:33,839
drink in their blue ribbon

1163
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:35,200
like just like sitting on their front

1164
00:40:33,839 --> 00:40:37,599
porch watching this woman get

1165
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:38,640
hospitalized and i'm like what a weird

1166
00:40:37,599 --> 00:40:41,200
energy

1167
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:42,880
so i'm here to guarantee you

1168
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:45,760
that at least

1169
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:47,839
three of those individuals tried to work

1170
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:50,319
that into their new stand-up comedy

1171
00:40:47,839 --> 00:40:50,319
routine

1172
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:58,160
or because it was nashville

1173
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:58,160
their song there you go yeah

1174
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:04,800
right so all that said

1175
00:41:02,240 --> 00:41:06,240
the book didn't take place in nashville

1176
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:07,760
and so all this happens in the front

1177
00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:10,000
yard and like jordan's like [ __ ] this

1178
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:11,760
[ __ ] i'm leaving right and so then she

1179
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,880
decides like he's not gonna claim me

1180
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:14,720
he's not gonna say anything like she's

1181
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:17,119
like i'm out and so she's like i have a

1182
00:41:14,720 --> 00:41:18,640
friend she runs a motel out of state i

1183
00:41:17,119 --> 00:41:21,119
think in like west virginia and she's

1184
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:24,160
like i'm gonna maybe not west virginia

1185
00:41:21,119 --> 00:41:25,599
am i manifesting that i don't know i

1186
00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:28,400
maybe it was in virginia i think it was

1187
00:41:25,599 --> 00:41:29,839
west virginia anyway

1188
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:32,640
her friend owns a motel and she's like

1189
00:41:29,839 --> 00:41:35,760
i'm gonna go live with her are they met

1190
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:39,040
on a school field trip to washington dc

1191
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:41,920
that's what it was i don't even remember

1192
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:43,839
so washington dc and west virginia are

1193
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:46,079
very different places just to be clear

1194
00:41:43,839 --> 00:41:48,720
they are but geographically they aren't

1195
00:41:46,079 --> 00:41:50,319
that far from yeah geographically all

1196
00:41:48,720 --> 00:41:52,560
things considered they're not that far

1197
00:41:50,319 --> 00:41:54,000
from each other you're correct right

1198
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:56,160
so

1199
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:58,400
she leaves and decides she's gonna like

1200
00:41:56,160 --> 00:42:00,480
go stay with a friend and is like

1201
00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:02,400
piecing out of this town

1202
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:04,000
cause it's also between classes her

1203
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:06,480
classes haven't started back up at the

1204
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:09,760
college sure sure because landscape

1205
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:13,359
architecture is her calling

1206
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:14,960
apparently she's very good at it

1207
00:42:13,359 --> 00:42:16,319
because she left the models in pike's

1208
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:18,319
house because she had no place to take

1209
00:42:16,319 --> 00:42:20,240
them when she bounced so oh and he's a

1210
00:42:18,319 --> 00:42:21,760
contractor so he would know

1211
00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:24,079
exactly

1212
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:26,800
i'm making the connection right so then

1213
00:42:24,079 --> 00:42:29,040
he pike goes like jordan pieces he like

1214
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:31,040
can't get in contact with her um and

1215
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:33,200
then he goes to his ex's house and then

1216
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:35,599
she's like just let you know our son's

1217
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:37,280
new job he joined the military he

1218
00:42:35,599 --> 00:42:39,040
shipped out for basic

1219
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:41,040
this morning or yesterday or whatever

1220
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:42,560
stars and so then pike feels really

1221
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:44,079
guilty and he like can't get in contact

1222
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:46,560
with the son because his son is

1223
00:42:44,079 --> 00:42:48,720
ambassador right exactly

1224
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:50,640
so there's all of this and then jordan's

1225
00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:52,160
gone this whole time and like the like

1226
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:53,839
pike has really been reconciling with

1227
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:55,839
himself where he's like i can't give her

1228
00:42:53,839 --> 00:42:57,359
like what she wants because like she's

1229
00:42:55,839 --> 00:42:59,200
this like young girl and i'm an older

1230
00:42:57,359 --> 00:43:00,800
dude and like

1231
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:02,079
i i could never be what she wants and

1232
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:04,319
just really self-deprecating and like

1233
00:43:02,079 --> 00:43:06,400
not really having any insight into her

1234
00:43:04,319 --> 00:43:08,640
actual goals or dreams or desires right

1235
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:10,640
he's doing a lot of mind reading

1236
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:12,000
right a lot of assumptions going back to

1237
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:13,839
earlier in the book where he didn't ask

1238
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:16,400
he just made assumptions right right and

1239
00:43:13,839 --> 00:43:18,640
then he made a fool out of himself

1240
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:22,079
so so he continues to be a fool as men

1241
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:22,880
often do 100 so now he doesn't have his

1242
00:43:22,079 --> 00:43:24,480
his

1243
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:26,880
19 year old girlfriend nor does he have

1244
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:28,720
his 19 year old son

1245
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:31,040
can't get in contact with either of them

1246
00:43:28,720 --> 00:43:32,800
he like he goes to the strip club he

1247
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:34,480
goes to the hook to be like ask her

1248
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:35,200
sister like i just want to like talk to

1249
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:37,040
her

1250
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:38,640
and then he's like gifts are like like

1251
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:40,560
there's 100 bill on the table and it's

1252
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:42,800
like i'll give you like just like tell

1253
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:44,319
me where she is and then the sister

1254
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:46,720
needs him in the balls

1255
00:43:44,319 --> 00:43:48,160
and then takes the hundred dollars

1256
00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:49,520
i was gonna say please tell me she

1257
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:51,280
doesn't sell her sister out for a

1258
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:54,079
hundred dollars like no she's better

1259
00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:55,680
than that i love that right and i really

1260
00:43:54,079 --> 00:43:57,359
did i was going to say i think she's my

1261
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:59,440
favorite character in the book that

1262
00:43:57,359 --> 00:44:01,280
you've she's just a good supportive

1263
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:02,960
character she does show up throughout

1264
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:06,000
the book and it's like seems like you're

1265
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:07,440
really into your boyfriend's dad

1266
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:09,599
and jordan's like no i'm not and

1267
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:11,359
sister's like whatever you say so there

1268
00:44:09,599 --> 00:44:13,040
is a lot of that and all right babe

1269
00:44:11,359 --> 00:44:15,119
right

1270
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:17,599
so

1271
00:44:15,119 --> 00:44:19,920
pike is now without a girlfriend

1272
00:44:17,599 --> 00:44:21,520
or a son or a son

1273
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:24,880
and then

1274
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:26,720
he's lonely sure and gets really ahead

1275
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:28,079
on work projects for his construction

1276
00:44:26,720 --> 00:44:30,079
company and like there's a scene and

1277
00:44:28,079 --> 00:44:31,920
he's like just installed a clothesline

1278
00:44:30,079 --> 00:44:33,680
in my backyard who the [ __ ] needs a

1279
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:35,680
clothesline these days i just needed

1280
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:37,359
something to do have you ever noticed

1281
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:39,520
that like when when these male

1282
00:44:37,359 --> 00:44:41,359
characters get sexually frustrated

1283
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:43,040
suddenly like

1284
00:44:41,359 --> 00:44:45,920
they're the most productive they've ever

1285
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:49,680
been like i didn't realize that sexual

1286
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:53,119
frustration was akin to like

1287
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:54,800
a damn for producing electricity you

1288
00:44:53,119 --> 00:44:57,760
know like

1289
00:44:54,800 --> 00:45:00,400
like like because the sexual frustration

1290
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:02,560
has been stoppered they have like all of

1291
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:05,440
this energy that goes towards like

1292
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:07,680
productive things which can be helpful

1293
00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:09,359
which makes me think that

1294
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:10,960
for all the ladies out there we should

1295
00:45:09,359 --> 00:45:13,119
sleep with our husbands less so they do

1296
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:15,440
more around the house i don't think

1297
00:45:13,119 --> 00:45:17,200
that's actually how it works in the real

1298
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:20,079
world because i feel like i feel like

1299
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:22,240
what happens in the real world is

1300
00:45:20,079 --> 00:45:24,240
your partner gets sexually frustrated

1301
00:45:22,240 --> 00:45:26,079
and then it's just grumpy

1302
00:45:24,240 --> 00:45:27,760
and then you're like yeah honestly i'm

1303
00:45:26,079 --> 00:45:29,280
not really in the mood

1304
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:32,720
yeah because we're a little bit grumpy

1305
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:35,520
right now like at no point in my

1306
00:45:32,720 --> 00:45:37,119
relationship with my husband have i ever

1307
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:38,000
been like

1308
00:45:37,119 --> 00:45:40,800
oh

1309
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:43,200
he's fixing the broken leg on that table

1310
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:45,839
he's probably sexually frustrated like

1311
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:47,680
at no point has that not ever crossed my

1312
00:45:45,839 --> 00:45:49,839
mind yeah no i don't think i've ever

1313
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:51,359
watched my husband unload the dishwasher

1314
00:45:49,839 --> 00:45:54,640
and thought

1315
00:45:51,359 --> 00:45:56,720
he needs a good hard ride you know like

1316
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:58,400
like my husband is building a gazebo in

1317
00:45:56,720 --> 00:46:01,200
our backyard

1318
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:03,040
i should hop on this dick

1319
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:04,640
like it's not

1320
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:06,319
in books it's always they're like i got

1321
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:08,640
nothing else to do so i guess i'll get a

1322
00:46:06,319 --> 00:46:11,119
hammer and a nail gun i mean my husband

1323
00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:14,560
went under the house the other day

1324
00:46:11,119 --> 00:46:16,640
because he was sexually frustrated

1325
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:18,800
i was like why are you under there and

1326
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:21,680
he was like i was just checking it out

1327
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:24,000
and now i'm wondering

1328
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:26,800
i'm not filling in the narrative

1329
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:29,200
because per our conversation i'm like

1330
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:31,839
cool what's going on in my head and i'm

1331
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:34,640
like so your husband masturbated in the

1332
00:46:31,839 --> 00:46:36,400
crawl space

1333
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:38,800
no i don't think that's how that

1334
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:41,040
happened because somebody so okay okay

1335
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:43,920
okay back up so the reason that he was

1336
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:46,880
checking the crawl space okay is because

1337
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:48,960
a couple of months ago he went down to

1338
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:51,359
change the air filter and found that the

1339
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:53,920
door to the crawl space was open and the

1340
00:46:51,359 --> 00:46:57,359
light was on down there and we did not

1341
00:46:53,920 --> 00:47:00,079
do that oh that is unsettling yeah i was

1342
00:46:57,359 --> 00:47:01,520
like well i don't feel safe thanks for

1343
00:47:00,079 --> 00:47:03,680
telling me that honey i really

1344
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:06,319
appreciate that so we got another camera

1345
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:08,000
and like a whole situation we do live in

1346
00:47:06,319 --> 00:47:09,599
the middle of nowhere

1347
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,119
so part of the reason why he was going

1348
00:47:09,599 --> 00:47:13,040
down there was to make sure that the

1349
00:47:11,119 --> 00:47:15,520
crawl stays crawl space was still locked

1350
00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:18,240
up and the last time that it had been

1351
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:20,160
left open a really dumb bird got in

1352
00:47:18,240 --> 00:47:22,480
there and couldn't get out and died down

1353
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:24,240
there so he was also i guess checking

1354
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:26,720
for dead

1355
00:47:24,240 --> 00:47:26,720
birds

1356
00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:30,480
so i just want to make sure we're all on

1357
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:32,640
the same page your husband was in the

1358
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:34,559
crawl space because

1359
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:36,240
he was making sure it was secure yeah

1360
00:47:34,559 --> 00:47:38,160
and there were no dead birds your

1361
00:47:36,240 --> 00:47:41,040
husband was not in the crawl space

1362
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:43,520
because he was sexually frustrated and

1363
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:44,880
had no other outlet i mean i really hope

1364
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:46,800
not i'm not really going to start

1365
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:49,200
talking about my own sex life here but i

1366
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:51,839
would really hope not

1367
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:54,319
you're like i would be shocked i mean

1368
00:47:51,839 --> 00:47:55,839
you're like not to toot my own horn i

1369
00:47:54,319 --> 00:47:57,760
would be shocked if that if i found out

1370
00:47:55,839 --> 00:47:59,680
that was why i don't mean to brag but i

1371
00:47:57,760 --> 00:48:02,000
was there and i don't think that's the

1372
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:02,000
issue

1373
00:48:02,559 --> 00:48:08,000
okay so pike sexually frustrated pike

1374
00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:09,599
actually he built i don't know he he

1375
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:11,920
built a

1376
00:48:09,599 --> 00:48:14,000
picnic table with like a cooler built

1377
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:15,839
into it he built benches for it he built

1378
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:18,559
a clothesline he's just building

1379
00:48:15,839 --> 00:48:20,400
whatever he can his like best friend

1380
00:48:18,559 --> 00:48:22,960
co-workers like we're like two years

1381
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:25,359
ahead on projects

1382
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:27,119
calm down dude yeah like something is

1383
00:48:25,359 --> 00:48:29,599
clearly this man needs something else in

1384
00:48:27,119 --> 00:48:31,839
his life other than go rub one out

1385
00:48:29,599 --> 00:48:34,960
because yes yeah that is

1386
00:48:31,839 --> 00:48:37,599
his friend's energy so then pike

1387
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:39,760
goes into jordan's old room that like

1388
00:48:37,599 --> 00:48:42,319
still smells like her and he hadn't been

1389
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:43,359
in there and then she had this like jar

1390
00:48:42,319 --> 00:48:44,800
of

1391
00:48:43,359 --> 00:48:45,839
papers that were all like wishes and

1392
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:48,079
dreams and things like that but they

1393
00:48:45,839 --> 00:48:50,240
were all like really like cute and sweet

1394
00:48:48,079 --> 00:48:54,000
they were all like start my own like

1395
00:48:50,240 --> 00:48:54,000
holiday family tradition and like

1396
00:48:54,720 --> 00:48:58,559
kiss someone in the rain i don't know

1397
00:48:56,160 --> 00:49:01,359
i'm making [ __ ] up at this point

1398
00:48:58,559 --> 00:49:03,280
go forward like go mudding like all like

1399
00:49:01,359 --> 00:49:05,440
very 19 year old things to want to do

1400
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:07,200
yes like very like sweet attainable

1401
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:08,720
things yeah that then like pike is

1402
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:09,839
reading through these and being like oh

1403
00:49:08,720 --> 00:49:12,079
like

1404
00:49:09,839 --> 00:49:14,400
i could have given her all of these

1405
00:49:12,079 --> 00:49:17,839
things that she wanted

1406
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:20,160
and so then he goes to the bar that she

1407
00:49:17,839 --> 00:49:21,839
used to work at the sister

1408
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:23,920
the stripper sister because she's the

1409
00:49:21,839 --> 00:49:25,839
sweet angel baby of the entire book

1410
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:27,359
she's been covering some shifts at the

1411
00:49:25,839 --> 00:49:29,040
bar of course

1412
00:49:27,359 --> 00:49:31,520
so she's stripping and working at the

1413
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:32,880
spa to cover her sister's shifts

1414
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:35,200
and he's like i really miss her like i

1415
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:37,280
want to see her and they're like

1416
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:39,520
okay well like it's not on like we can't

1417
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:43,200
decide for her so like sure like we'll

1418
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:45,520
tell you she's at a motel that her

1419
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:46,800
friend owns and then like he like that's

1420
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:48,240
like all like

1421
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:49,920
in virginia or west virginia i think it

1422
00:49:48,240 --> 00:49:51,520
was west virginia and then they're like

1423
00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:53,839
cool that's all we're giving you then he

1424
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:55,119
still had to work for it

1425
00:49:53,839 --> 00:49:56,839
and then

1426
00:49:55,119 --> 00:50:00,079
he shows up at the

1427
00:49:56,839 --> 00:50:03,040
hotel sure and where there are a lot of

1428
00:50:00,079 --> 00:50:06,240
beds and doors with locks i imagine

1429
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:09,760
there was only one room left because

1430
00:50:06,240 --> 00:50:12,240
because this is actually in the book um

1431
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:14,000
because a dude shows up and buys there's

1432
00:50:12,240 --> 00:50:17,520
only six rooms left and he like get

1433
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:19,440
takes five of them for his girls

1434
00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:21,920
yes and so

1435
00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:24,480
for his harem or is he a pimp i'm pretty

1436
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:26,240
sure he's a pimp because there's another

1437
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:28,160
book that the i'm still not sure the

1438
00:50:26,240 --> 00:50:30,079
release date but penelope douglas has a

1439
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:32,079
book called motel

1440
00:50:30,079 --> 00:50:35,200
it's about the friend

1441
00:50:32,079 --> 00:50:36,640
who runs the motel and i believe

1442
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:39,520
the pimp falling in love because they're

1443
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:41,040
both really into 90s trivia something

1444
00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:43,280
like that so that's the connection they

1445
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:45,359
needed so all i can think about speaking

1446
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:48,079
of 90s trivia although i know this isn't

1447
00:50:45,359 --> 00:50:49,520
90s but like you know that ray j song

1448
00:50:48,079 --> 00:50:51,920
sexy can i

1449
00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:54,800
of course so all i can think about now

1450
00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:56,640
is that bit where he's like um

1451
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:58,160
uh i've got a girl at the crib we can

1452
00:50:56,640 --> 00:51:00,800
take it to the momo

1453
00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:02,480
you can bring a friend you can ride solo

1454
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:04,000
that's all i can think now

1455
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:05,760
anytime i hear the word motel that's

1456
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:08,480
what i think of

1457
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:10,800
whenever i think of the song sexy can i

1458
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:12,880
i just think of get it from the front

1459
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:15,520
can i hit it from the back no i like it

1460
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:16,640
like that yep 100 that's that's the only

1461
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:18,480
i'm like that's all i need from that

1462
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:20,000
song so i'm really glad we got to share

1463
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:22,559
that thank you

1464
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:24,640
ray j how you doing my guy so there's

1465
00:51:22,559 --> 00:51:26,400
one room left yes so there's one room

1466
00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:27,839
left and so

1467
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:29,599
um yeah that was a little bit of a

1468
00:51:27,839 --> 00:51:30,880
teaser at the end of the book for this

1469
00:51:29,599 --> 00:51:33,040
other book but

1470
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:34,720
the release date keeps getting delayed

1471
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:36,640
she does have a book called motel

1472
00:51:34,720 --> 00:51:38,160
penelope do you have nerona why are we

1473
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:41,440
getting delayed have you had their own

1474
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:44,480
since 2020 like i mean people can get it

1475
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:45,920
more than once according to my research

1476
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:47,920
they can

1477
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:49,280
and i don't think that's what's

1478
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:52,000
happening here

1479
00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:53,920
but i think they they can i just i just

1480
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:56,079
made an assumption much like pike the

1481
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:57,760
crew right fish

1482
00:51:56,079 --> 00:52:00,160
presumptuous pike

1483
00:51:57,760 --> 00:52:02,800
just out there making all these making

1484
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:05,680
all these judgment calls that are

1485
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:07,440
not working in his favor no

1486
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:09,359
so

1487
00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:11,920
then they end up together

1488
00:52:09,359 --> 00:52:14,240
and then she

1489
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:17,680
and she moves back and they live happily

1490
00:52:14,240 --> 00:52:19,599
ever after um his wife not his wife

1491
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:21,599
she becomes his wife his son

1492
00:52:19,599 --> 00:52:24,559
um he meets a nice girl when he's

1493
00:52:21,599 --> 00:52:27,520
stationed in japan and so like they have

1494
00:52:24,559 --> 00:52:29,359
a kid in the future and then he men's

1495
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:32,000
fences oh yeah i forgot to mention the

1496
00:52:29,359 --> 00:52:33,760
sun does show back up before pike goes

1497
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:35,760
after jordan

1498
00:52:33,760 --> 00:52:37,359
like he's done with basic and he's like

1499
00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:39,440
i got the letters you sent me i got the

1500
00:52:37,359 --> 00:52:40,880
phone cards you sent me and i was like

1501
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:42,960
well i didn't use the phone cards to

1502
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:45,440
call me that's why i gave them to you

1503
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:46,480
but i'm glad you used your phone cards

1504
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:48,640
um

1505
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:51,040
and then like the stuff so that's not

1506
00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:53,040
how it works in basic it's not prison

1507
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:54,960
it's not that's not how it works in

1508
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:56,400
basic like you get you're missing the

1509
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:58,480
point of this book

1510
00:52:56,400 --> 00:53:00,880
i don't think that was the point

1511
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:03,119
i don't know why that's that's the thing

1512
00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:05,760
you're like hold up this is the one

1513
00:53:03,119 --> 00:53:08,000
plot hole in the entire book it's not

1514
00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:10,960
prison that's not how it works but

1515
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:13,119
anyway thank you so he shows up yes okay

1516
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:15,760
carry on and the son like is like hey

1517
00:53:13,119 --> 00:53:17,280
dad like i recognize like that you've

1518
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:18,880
always been there like you took a second

1519
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:20,480
mortgage out on this house so i could go

1520
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:22,559
to college and i dropped out after my

1521
00:53:20,480 --> 00:53:24,319
freshman year and like i remember like

1522
00:53:22,559 --> 00:53:26,319
this birthday party where mom got drunk

1523
00:53:24,319 --> 00:53:28,319
and got in a fight with her ex and like

1524
00:53:26,319 --> 00:53:29,920
you took everyone here instead and i

1525
00:53:28,319 --> 00:53:31,680
remember when like you

1526
00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:33,599
lost a job because you came to my like

1527
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:35,040
birthday or because you came to my game

1528
00:53:33,599 --> 00:53:36,960
whatever it is and so like the sun is

1529
00:53:35,040 --> 00:53:38,400
just like acknowledging like i know we

1530
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:40,640
haven't been close but like you haven't

1531
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:42,000
been a shitty father i just like have

1532
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:43,200
still been disconnected and so they

1533
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:45,920
start bonding and they get matching

1534
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:47,599
tattoos and it's a it's a thing

1535
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:49,119
and okay

1536
00:53:47,599 --> 00:53:50,880
and then he goes after jordan and then

1537
00:53:49,119 --> 00:53:53,520
like the epilogue is like

1538
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:55,200
well then they get engaged at some point

1539
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:56,640
in the final chapter i believe and then

1540
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:58,559
the epilogue is like 10 years in the

1541
00:53:56,640 --> 00:54:00,240
future and like she's a successful

1542
00:53:58,559 --> 00:54:02,079
landscape architect

1543
00:54:00,240 --> 00:54:05,119
and they have children

1544
00:54:02,079 --> 00:54:06,800
and her ex-boyfriend also has children

1545
00:54:05,119 --> 00:54:08,079
the same age so sometimes they'll help

1546
00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:11,280
watch them and they're all like they

1547
00:54:08,079 --> 00:54:13,359
have a great relationship now um they go

1548
00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:14,559
mudding at some they go mudding a couple

1549
00:54:13,359 --> 00:54:16,000
times in the book it just didn't feel

1550
00:54:14,559 --> 00:54:17,680
that pertinent

1551
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:21,440
and

1552
00:54:17,680 --> 00:54:22,839
that is essentially birthday girl

1553
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:26,559
um

1554
00:54:22,839 --> 00:54:28,880
what i'm going to rate birthday girl

1555
00:54:26,559 --> 00:54:28,880
yeah

1556
00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:35,680
how many birthday candles does it get oh

1557
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:35,680
birthday candles yes okay um

1558
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:41,920
well she's 19 so it's out of 19 birthday

1559
00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:44,480
candles until her 20th birthday okay so

1560
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:46,880
it's out of 19. yeah so out of 19

1561
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:50,480
i would give it like a solid like

1562
00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:52,640
13 or 14. birthday candles what what

1563
00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:55,599
what is the the

1564
00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:57,520
the [ __ ]

1565
00:54:55,599 --> 00:54:59,680
i don't know what you're asking what's

1566
00:54:57,520 --> 00:55:01,760
the percentage i just opened my clock

1567
00:54:59,680 --> 00:55:04,720
instead of my calculator so okay so like

1568
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:08,160
what's 13 out of 19 or 14. let's do 14

1569
00:55:04,720 --> 00:55:14,559
out of 19. okay okay hold on

1570
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:18,720
14 out of 19 is 73. well considering

1571
00:55:14,559 --> 00:55:20,400
you gave 5 out of 7 which was 71 on den

1572
00:55:18,720 --> 00:55:22,799
of viper we're on par

1573
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:25,760
we are let's see what the rest of the

1574
00:55:22,799 --> 00:55:27,440
world has rated ooh that's a good idea

1575
00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:29,040
so the rest of the world has rated

1576
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:31,200
birthday girl no i don't want the office

1577
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:33,520
profile i just want the book

1578
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:37,040
um with 86

1579
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:39,359
000 ratings on goodreads oh my god

1580
00:55:37,040 --> 00:55:41,760
4.06

1581
00:55:39,359 --> 00:55:44,079
stars that's too many stars that's

1582
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:46,559
pretty damn good yeah

1583
00:55:44,079 --> 00:55:49,440
i so part of me feels like i should read

1584
00:55:46,559 --> 00:55:52,000
that because i have i have not read it

1585
00:55:49,440 --> 00:55:54,000
but another part of me feels like i

1586
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:56,960
would need

1587
00:55:54,000 --> 00:56:00,319
to like mainline

1588
00:55:56,960 --> 00:56:03,359
wine if i was gonna do that like

1589
00:56:00,319 --> 00:56:04,319
yes like big age gaps are a struggle for

1590
00:56:03,359 --> 00:56:07,200
me

1591
00:56:04,319 --> 00:56:09,359
i will say of all age gap books this one

1592
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:10,880
was one i like i actually didn't

1593
00:56:09,359 --> 00:56:12,319
struggle with

1594
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:14,799
i feel like there's some age gap books

1595
00:56:12,319 --> 00:56:14,799
where i'm like

1596
00:56:14,839 --> 00:56:18,640
like creedence was the one i rated

1597
00:56:17,119 --> 00:56:21,440
really poorly

1598
00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:22,880
i cannot i cannot with that one we're

1599
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:24,640
going to record it's not just me yes

1600
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:26,400
that's going to be all of it in and of

1601
00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:27,920
itself i honestly i think for the amount

1602
00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:30,240
of time we spend we're never going to

1603
00:56:27,920 --> 00:56:32,160
get two books in one episode we're gonna

1604
00:56:30,240 --> 00:56:34,079
get one book an episode and count our

1605
00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:36,640
lucky stars that we made it through and

1606
00:56:34,079 --> 00:56:37,839
we're gonna feel good about it yes so

1607
00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:42,240
birthday girl

1608
00:56:37,839 --> 00:56:44,480
14 out of 19 birthday candles okay um 73

1609
00:56:42,240 --> 00:56:47,680
percent 73

1610
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:49,440
maybe 15 depending i've i've read it

1611
00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:51,839
twice no i've read i think i've read it

1612
00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:54,319
three times oh my god here's the thing

1613
00:56:51,839 --> 00:56:55,599
over several years okay i think it's

1614
00:56:54,319 --> 00:56:57,280
like it's one of those books that i'm

1615
00:56:55,599 --> 00:57:00,000
like about once a year i'm like oh i

1616
00:56:57,280 --> 00:57:02,160
could go back to that but it's like a

1617
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:03,280
like not quite a comfort book situation

1618
00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:05,119
but like

1619
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:07,520
a book that's like

1620
00:57:05,119 --> 00:57:09,200
i don't want my brain to work right now

1621
00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:11,040
yes i read it

1622
00:57:09,200 --> 00:57:13,599
like i'm like yeah like i've read like

1623
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:16,000
it's an easy read

1624
00:57:13,599 --> 00:57:18,480
there's enough smut

1625
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:20,400
there's not there's no blood play it's

1626
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:23,200
like a safer smut

1627
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:26,400
there's no breath play there's no ring

1628
00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:28,880
there's just like a nice age gap and

1629
00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:30,720
some loofah masturbation

1630
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:32,799
and some other things with that there is

1631
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:34,480
some other sex i'm struggling with that

1632
00:57:32,799 --> 00:57:37,680
with the loofah

1633
00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:39,200
i i just i don't like texturally i feel

1634
00:57:37,680 --> 00:57:41,520
like that would be a struggle i wouldn't

1635
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:43,680
be into that

1636
00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:46,319
no also if you're already

1637
00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:47,760
like if you are already mid

1638
00:57:46,319 --> 00:57:49,440
masturbation

1639
00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:51,680
i don't feel like you're like you know

1640
00:57:49,440 --> 00:57:53,119
what would really add to this experience

1641
00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:54,880
a loofah

1642
00:57:53,119 --> 00:57:56,559
some rough ass

1643
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:58,160
friction

1644
00:57:56,559 --> 00:58:00,799
well but then there's also i have a lot

1645
00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:03,599
of questions about the loofah like was

1646
00:58:00,799 --> 00:58:05,520
it one of those like natural ones that

1647
00:58:03,599 --> 00:58:08,160
was or or was it like one of those

1648
00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:11,040
plasticky ones yeah like was it like a

1649
00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:13,920
walmart loofah that you just get from

1650
00:58:11,040 --> 00:58:16,640
that aisle or was it like

1651
00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:19,839
when you go and get like a like a actual

1652
00:58:16,640 --> 00:58:22,160
sea sponge yes precisely i don't think

1653
00:58:19,839 --> 00:58:25,119
it was that given the tone of this book

1654
00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:27,920
okay at no point did they say sea sponge

1655
00:58:25,119 --> 00:58:30,240
i mean i don't

1656
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:31,040
pike using a sea sponge is too much for

1657
00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:34,400
me

1658
00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:36,319
i would just like to reiterate jordan

1659
00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:38,880
used a loofah no but i mean but it was

1660
00:58:36,319 --> 00:58:41,280
i'm pretty sure it was yes

1661
00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:44,000
oh so you just met like pike using a sea

1662
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:46,000
sponge on his entire box

1663
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:48,000
like on a daily basis

1664
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:51,200
like pike isn't

1665
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:54,640
into a sea sponge yeah he doesn't strike

1666
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:56,559
me as a man who intentionally exfoliates

1667
00:58:54,640 --> 00:58:59,200
and i feel like if you're using a sea

1668
00:58:56,559 --> 00:59:02,720
sponge you know the word exfoliate you

1669
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:04,319
do and you do it regularly

1670
00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:06,880
all right i'm really glad we had this

1671
00:59:04,319 --> 00:59:09,839
time together me too what a great book

1672
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:11,440
review what a great episode so

1673
00:59:09,839 --> 00:59:13,760
thank you all for listening thank y'all

1674
00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:17,920
for being here and being a part of this

1675
00:59:13,760 --> 00:59:20,400
read birthday girl or don't if age gap

1676
00:59:17,920 --> 00:59:22,319
lupo sex isn't your thing

1677
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:23,760
it is not mine i won't be reading it i

1678
00:59:22,319 --> 00:59:27,119
feel like i

1679
00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:29,599
got what i needed from your retelling so

1680
00:59:27,119 --> 00:59:31,920
thank you you know i'll take that

1681
00:59:29,599 --> 00:59:33,839
and i do think that like you're like

1682
00:59:31,920 --> 00:59:37,040
yeah i'll read this book where they

1683
00:59:33,839 --> 00:59:39,599
shoved the knife handle up her ass but a

1684
00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:41,760
loofah is too hard for me listen here's

1685
00:59:39,599 --> 00:59:44,160
what i'm about to do i'm about to put it

1686
00:59:41,760 --> 00:59:47,040
on my goodreads as read because i feel

1687
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:49,520
like like you telling it to me i have

1688
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:51,280
experience

1689
00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:52,319
you got the experience even for as much

1690
00:59:51,280 --> 00:59:54,799
of that book because i was like i don't

1691
00:59:52,319 --> 00:59:57,119
[ __ ] know it it happened like that

1692
00:59:54,799 --> 00:59:58,559
that was a trivial detail you're like i

1693
00:59:57,119 --> 01:00:00,319
still understand including like the

1694
00:59:58,559 --> 01:00:02,799
boyfriend's name i don't i don't need to

1695
01:00:00,319 --> 01:00:04,880
know those things i have experienced the

1696
01:00:02,799 --> 01:00:07,200
book now and i am eternally grateful to

1697
01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:09,119
you for that so thank you well

1698
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:10,880
i'm glad i kind of bring that to your

1699
01:00:09,119 --> 01:00:12,880
life

1700
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:17,160
i hope you'll have a great day yes

1701
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:17,160
goodbye enjoy adios