WEBVTT 00:00:02.640 --> 00:00:16.605 This is the Sandals Church Podcast, a place for real people with real struggles learning to follow Jesus. Wherever you are right now, driving, working, or trying to make it through the day, we are really glad you're here. Let's get into today's message. 00:00:22.525 --> 00:00:35.640 Hey, guys. Welcome to Sandals Church. And today, we are talking about changing your legacy. And I thought, why wouldn't I, ask the man that changed my legacy to open us up with prayer? So dad, would you honor me and pray for me today on Father's Day? 00:00:36.280 --> 00:00:52.465 God in heaven, thank you for the incredible blessing that Matt has been in my life and in this church. We ask that you would continue to keep him safe and keep him on the right road and continue to bless this church. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen. 00:01:00.050 --> 00:01:13.995 Thank you so much, man. Listen to me. I know some of you, you're already hurting a little bit because you don't have a great dad like that. And so we can't change the past, but let me say this to everybody. We can change your future, amen? 00:01:13.995 --> 00:01:48.405 And we can change your legacy today. And so I just really want you to think about not just your life, but your kids lives, your grandchildren's lives. The grandchildren that you'll never meet who will live when you're in heaven, but they're still here on earth trying to figure it out. And so we're talking about in Nehemiah, a guy who changed not just his life, but the lives of Jewish people in Palestine for generations. He literally went into Judah and and and just did an incredible incredible thing wrestling with all kinds of political elements, but he was faithful and he was true. 00:01:48.485 --> 00:02:12.135 And I just wanna encourage you that if you do that today, you can make a difference not just in your life, but in your family's life forever. Can I get an amen today? Amen. So let's open our Bibles to Nehemiah chapter two verses 11 through 20. And here's the thing, to change my legacy, I must and I want you to write this down, especially if you're 30, assess the damage quietly. 00:02:12.855 --> 00:02:20.135 Okay. Not every emotion needs to be shared on Instagram. Can I get an amen? Amen. Not every thought, not every hurt, not every failure. 00:02:20.135 --> 00:02:39.595 I mean, oh my gosh. Some of us are processing all of our pain in real time to everyone and we're throwing it to people who will only throw it back against us. And so I I wanna encourage you, do some work. Look within today. Not every thought, not every feeling needs to be shared for all to hear. 00:02:39.755 --> 00:02:52.560 So at Sandals Church, we say this, you gotta be real, but you don't have to be real about everything to everyone. Amen? Amen. You gotta be real to someone that's safe. Jesus said, do not throw your pearls before swine. 00:02:53.200 --> 00:03:07.035 And most of social media is throwing your pearls before swine. So let's look at Nehemiah chapter two verses 11 through 15. Let's open our Bibles. Look at verse 11. So Nehemiah arrived in Jerusalem. 00:03:07.595 --> 00:03:19.115 Three days later, I slipped out. I want you to underline this in your Bibles. During the night, taking only a few others with me. You really wanna change your life today? Listen to me, not everybody in your family is gonna change. 00:03:19.115 --> 00:03:26.700 Amen? Not everybody's going. Not everybody wants to get drug free. Not everybody wants to get healthy. Not everybody wants to get right with God. 00:03:26.700 --> 00:03:46.595 And if you're waiting for everybody to change, you'll never change. So he took a few people with him and he slipped out at night. He said, don't wanna assess the damage publicly, I want to assess it privately. One of the ways my dad changed our lives is he went to counseling. And there's a lot of Christians that are against counseling. 00:03:46.710 --> 00:04:05.535 Listen, if you could change your life by yourself, you would have done it by now. So why not invite somebody with you? And my dad worked on his pain, worked on his issues, and because of that, he became a better man, and because of that, I'm a better man. So why not start the change today? Look at this. 00:04:05.535 --> 00:04:26.550 I know this is really really hard, especially for young. I had not told anyone about the plans God had put in my heart for Jerusalem. Stop sharing every thought. Take some time, write it down. You truly wanna have an impact, man, really process things and pray about things before you share them. 00:04:27.270 --> 00:04:43.585 I had not told anyone about the plans God had put in my heart for Jerusalem. Now let's look forward. He said, we took no pack animals with us except the donkey I was riding. He literally, he doesn't wanna draw a huge scene. He doesn't want a lot of attention. 00:04:43.585 --> 00:05:00.080 Verse 13, after dark, I went out through the valley gate past the Jackal's well. So some of you are skeptical about the Bible. These are real places. These places have been discovered. Everything that I'm talking about today has been collaborated by other historians and other nations. 00:05:00.080 --> 00:05:17.410 These are not made up stories and made up places. These are real people. These are real things that happened. The Bible is full of history so that God can change your story. And then I went over to the Dungate to inspect the broken walls and the burned gates. 00:05:17.650 --> 00:05:34.555 You see, it's one thing to talk about your pain, it's another thing to actually inspect it and to look at it. Verse 14, then I went to the fountain gate and to the king's pool. This is how bad things were. And so this is what keeps us from changing. Oh, you don't understand pastor Matt, my marriage is too far gone. 00:05:34.555 --> 00:05:43.275 You don't understand pastor Matt, I've been to rehab 10 times. You don't understand pastor Matt, I've tried to get healthy. I've tried to lower my cholesterol. Right? We all have all these stories why we can't heal. 00:05:44.930 --> 00:05:53.890 Because we look at the worst areas of our life. Look at this. He says, but my donkey couldn't get through the rubble. It was so bad. It was so broken. 00:05:53.970 --> 00:06:09.915 His pack animal now think about it. Donkeys can go everywhere, but it was such a mess. His animal was unable to get through the wreckage. But here's the thing, Nehemiah trusted God and he was able to change his life. Verse 15. 00:06:11.180 --> 00:06:38.675 So though it was still dark, I went up to the Kidron Valley instead, inspecting the wall before I turned back and I entered at the valley gate. He did all of this without letting anybody know. Let's keep going to verse 16. The city officials did not know I had been out there or what I was doing. So many times, if God wants to change your reality, you've got to let him just work in your heart. 00:06:38.675 --> 00:06:51.360 Remember last week pastor Claude talked about that Nehemiah before he talked to the king prayed for four months. Four months he prayed. He didn't share every thought. Not every thought needs to be shared. Write that down husbands. 00:06:53.280 --> 00:06:59.255 Write that down. You wanna stay married, don't share your first thought. Don't share your second thought. Share the third. Share the third. 00:06:59.255 --> 00:07:09.655 Amen? Saved me many times. Okay. For I had not yet said anything to anyone about my plans. Some of you right now, man, you want your marriage to change. 00:07:09.655 --> 00:07:19.940 You want your kids to change. You want your finances to change. Really bring that to the Lord and say, Lord, I wanna rebuild the walls. I wanna change the legacy of my family. Look at this. 00:07:19.940 --> 00:07:41.785 He said, I had not yet spoken to the Jewish leaders. He hadn't even told his own people what was in his heart. And you gotta be careful because listen to me, if you share a dream too early, people will squash it. And if you don't believe me, to Genesis and see how his family responded to his dreams. They threw him in a pit and sold him into slavery. 00:07:42.580 --> 00:08:01.425 So be careful when and how you share your dreams. I had not yet spoken to the Jewish leaders, to the priests, to the nobles, to the officials or anyone else in the administration. You see God was working in his heart. He was assessing the damage. Man, I wanna talk to you real quickly. 00:08:01.745 --> 00:08:16.330 Before you can build anything that lasts, you have to look at what's broken. And that's really really challenging as for a lot of us as as guys. We really really struggle expressing what's wrong. Amen, ladies. Sometimes you're a little too good at it. 00:08:16.330 --> 00:08:20.410 You know what saying? That's all I'm saying. Okay. Scared laughter. Okay. 00:08:21.995 --> 00:08:34.475 To change my legacy, I must own the problem personally. You want you know, you wanna know who you can't fix? Everybody else. You can't fix everybody else. You can only fix yourself. 00:08:34.960 --> 00:08:44.320 Even if you're married, you wanna fix your marriage? If you fix yourself, you're 50% of the way there. Amen? So start there. Nehemiah chapter two verse 17. 00:08:44.800 --> 00:08:59.955 But look at this, but now I said to them, you know very well the trouble we are in. Now let's stop. Nehemiah doesn't say the trouble they are in. He doesn't say look at the mess they made. He doesn't look and say how ridiculous they are. 00:08:59.955 --> 00:09:22.225 He had a great life in Susa in a fortress in the most powerful safe city on earth. And by the way, had a good job, tasted the food for the king. But he says, look at the problem we are in. This is the problem with our culture. We have a victim mentality and we are in a blame culture and this is why we can never move forward. 00:09:22.225 --> 00:09:46.655 You can never change your life when your life is everybody else's fault. He says Jerusalem lies in ruins and its gates have been destroyed by fire. One of my favorite coaches of all time, he's been dead for a long time and we have a generation that doesn't know him. But his name is coach John Wooden. He's a famous coach at UCLA for UCLA men's basketball. 00:09:46.815 --> 00:10:02.250 And they were a legacy like no team ever. But listen to what he says about failure. This is a quote that sticks with me my whole life. He says, you are not a failure until you start blaming others for your mistakes. That's when you become a failure. 00:10:02.250 --> 00:10:20.165 As soon as it's no longer your fault, your problem, you can't fix what's not in your control. And that's why so many of you are, what am I gonna do? Start with you. That's why the vision at Sandals Church is real with self, God, and then others. So many people are like, don't understand why self is first. 00:10:20.165 --> 00:10:28.270 First is I'm like, because God's not the problem. You are. You know, the Lord's not in heaven. Who am I? What am I? 00:10:28.270 --> 00:10:42.175 What should I do? That's you, that's me. We struggle with that. And let me just say this. I I there's just a spirit in this room and in this church and and it's not the holy spirit. 00:10:42.175 --> 00:10:59.590 And this spirit is saying, oh, I wish my husband would listen to this message. Oh, I wish Susie would I don't know why I always pick the name Susie. I'm so sorry. Oh, I wish Susie would listen to this message. Oh, I wish, man, if my brother was here, boy, God would move. 00:11:00.230 --> 00:11:19.150 There's just a tendency for every single one of us to want someone else to change their legacy today. They're not here. They might be here, but they might not be listening. But you're here, are you listening? Jesus says this in Matthew seven three through five. 00:11:19.150 --> 00:11:46.330 This verse transformed my life. Verse three, and why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? Think about that. Some of you are in church like I don't know why nobody in my small group won't let me share with them what's wrong with their marriage. Because when you're sharing and you're leading we're all just horrified at the redwood tree coming out of your skull. 00:11:48.010 --> 00:11:55.930 I mean, how many of you guys have somebody that has a messed up life that has advice for everybody else? Come on. Okay. Don't point at them. Just just do one of these. 00:12:00.085 --> 00:12:15.360 I mean, always amazes me the people with the worst marriages have the most advice. You know, you're on your seventh marriage. You're like, you know what I've always thought? I'm like, I don't care because it ain't working. You know, right, the people who can't get a job tell you what you ought to do with your job? 00:12:15.520 --> 00:12:30.655 It's like, why don't you go to work first and then we'll discuss my employment. Amen? Or people that have no kids always know how to raise them. It's like, me drop my four year old off with you for a weekend and then we'll talk. And they're like on Monday morning, surrender. 00:12:32.575 --> 00:13:04.545 He says, how can you think of saying to your friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye when you can't see past the log in your own eye. Hypocrite, first get rid of the log in your own eye and then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye. It's not that we don't wanna help people, it's just that we're so much more effective when we can see ourselves. And the problem with our eyes, you've heard me say this at Sandals Church for thirty years is that they point out. They don't look within. 00:13:05.265 --> 00:13:18.380 So some of us, we don't even know how to go about owning the problem. So let me help you. This is something that you know, not that I've just intuitively known. I've learned this through my failures. So here's how I've learned to become real with myself. 00:13:18.620 --> 00:13:27.655 Owning the problem begins by asking a couple of questions. So here's one. What's my part? Like I always know what Tammy did. Amen. 00:13:27.655 --> 00:13:38.640 You know what I'm saying? I know. I know exactly what she did, what she said, how it made me feel. I don't need anyone to help me with that. But you know what I struggle with? 00:13:38.800 --> 00:13:56.685 What might I have said to enact such a response from my beloved? So what's my part? Every single one of us has blind spots. We all have it. So here's the next question. 00:13:57.005 --> 00:14:14.840 What might I be missing? What might I be missing? And these are just curious questions. If you really wanna change, if you really wanna grow, if you really want to to change your family's legacy, what is it that your family just doesn't get? What might I be missing? 00:14:17.480 --> 00:14:28.835 Listen to this next one. Where, hold on for it, might they be right? I know that's hard. You're like my husband could never be right. He might be, a broken clock is right twice a day. 00:14:28.835 --> 00:14:39.850 Amen, ladies. He's right twice a day. Where might they be right? Okay. This is where it gets really really hard. 00:14:39.930 --> 00:14:57.195 Who could I ask to help me see a potential blind spot? Now this is where community is so important. I don't wanna see a thousand requests on my Instagram. Pastor, I wanna meet together for coffee to find out why my wife's crazy. I don't wanna meet with you. 00:14:58.875 --> 00:15:12.910 K. This is why we need community. Because this is actually the blind spot of a counselor. A counselor can only ascertain what you're saying based upon what you share. When you live in with community and you're with people who know you, they know what your stuff is. 00:15:13.310 --> 00:15:56.735 They see how you act, and they can help you to discover maybe what you're missing. And I can't tell you how many times somebody in our church has said, hey, maybe Tammy feels this way, maybe your kids feel this way, maybe your church feels this way because you approached it this way. And it's changed me and it's helped make me a better leader and a better person and a better man. Not a perfect man, but a better man. And if you wanna get better, you wanna rebuild the walls of your house, you wanna rebuild the walls of your relationships, you wanna rebuild the walls of your faith in God, then you need to be willing to be real with yourself. 00:15:57.695 --> 00:16:32.660 So to change my legacy, and this is what makes Sandals a little uncomfortable, I must surround myself with people who will help me change. Do you wanna know what the secret sauce of Sandals Church is? It's the relationships that I have with the people and the leaders in this church. Tammy and I are getting ready to redo our will and you know, all the people that are gonna help my kids process our estate after we die are leaders in this church. These are people that I know, these are people that I love. 00:16:32.980 --> 00:17:05.100 These are people that I entrust the future of my own children with to make sure that our assets are dispensed equally and according to our plan and our vision for our life. Do you have those friendships? Do you have those relationships at Sandals? And if you don't, instead of blaming small groups, blaming discipleship, blaming the church, maybe take a step back and say, what could I do to pursue relationship? What could I do? 00:17:05.260 --> 00:17:36.190 And here's the truth, if you want better friends become a better friend. And here's the thing, we are more digitally connected than we've ever been as a society and we're more relationally disconnected than we've ever been. We don't really know everybody. Commenting on somebody's post isn't real knowledge, it isn't real relationship. Real relationship is being able to sit down, talk it out, work it out, process it out. 00:17:36.995 --> 00:17:59.090 That's why so much of the discipleship vision in this church is literally hearing the message which is one part. But Jesus and James both said, don't just listen to the word, listen to it and change. But going into a small group, going into discipleship group and saying, where do I need to apply this in my life? What does this actually look like? Not just ancient truths, but present reality. 00:17:59.570 --> 00:18:12.335 What would it look like if I rebuilt the walls of my family? If I rebuilt the walls of my relationships? What would it look like for me as a single person? If I said, you know what? I've made some mistakes. 00:18:12.335 --> 00:18:28.740 I've messed up, but I'm gonna rebuild these glaring holes in my life and I'm gonna trust God. It's not easy, but I want everyone to hear me. It is possible with Jesus. Can I get an amen? All things are possible through Christ who gives us strength. 00:18:28.820 --> 00:18:45.725 All things, but he will not lift the rocks for you. You've got to learn to do it yourself. Nehemiah two seventeen through 18. Let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem and end this disgrace. End this disgrace. 00:18:45.725 --> 00:18:58.270 No more addicts in our future. No more drug addicts. No more divorces. Let's make a change. Let's change the legacy of our family and it starts with me. 00:18:59.525 --> 00:19:13.765 This week, I watched a TikTok and I don't even know if I can my wife always says, you know, you need to not share about TikTok because it's so silly. Man, TikTok motivates me. I'm just gonna tell you. I don't know what you're watching. I'm not watching people, you know, dance. 00:19:13.845 --> 00:19:35.825 I'm learning stuff. Don't blame me for your algorithm. You know, that's you. But I watched I watched this dad and his three kids and the mom was at the other end and you can't see her. And she said, step forward if your dad ever drove you to school and all three kids move forward. 00:19:36.065 --> 00:19:56.350 Step forward if your dad ever picked you up from school and all three kids step forward. Step forward if your dad ever prayed with you, all three kids step forward. Step forward if your dad ever coached you and all three kids step forward. Step forward if your dad ever said he loved you, all three kids step forward. And then you begin to realize there's one person that isn't moving, the dad never moves. 00:19:58.385 --> 00:20:14.610 And the wife reads five things and then the kids begin to notice. Dad's still back at the end of the hallway. And it's the daughter that moves first. And she runs back to her dad. And the mom says, I'm gonna try to say it without crying. 00:20:14.850 --> 00:20:30.965 She says, thank you for changing the legacy of our home. Amen? Amen. Man. He didn't have a dad that coached him, that said he loved him, that picked him up, that held him. 00:20:30.965 --> 00:20:45.450 He didn't have any of those things, but he still changed. And when you listen to the social media posts, gonna figure out real quickly. This is a family that loves Jesus and goes to church. Because that's how you change. That's how you change. 00:20:47.530 --> 00:21:04.325 He says, we're gonna do this. We're gonna do this. And then he inspires them. Verse 18, then I told him about how the gracious hand of God had been on me and about my conversation with the king. What's he doing? 00:21:04.325 --> 00:21:19.390 He's saying, I got a word from the Lord here. I'm gonna make this change. So some of you dads, here's what you gotta say. You say, you know what, we've not we've not made church a priority. For most of us, if we're honest, we go to church unless, amen. 00:21:21.415 --> 00:21:41.420 Most of us are unless Christians. We go to church unless there's something for the family, unless there's a sporting event, right? I wanna encourage you, We're we're not gonna miss church. My dad, I'm telling you, when I was a kid, wanted to play travel ball. I did. 00:21:41.500 --> 00:21:51.905 And and every parent in here, I'm I'm I'm not trying to convict you. I'm not the head of your family, you are. My mom said, no. We will not travel. She said Sundays is for the Lord. 00:21:53.105 --> 00:22:10.490 None of my friends that went to travel ball are in church today. And here's the thing, out of all my friends, I was the only one who got a scholarship to play soccer in college. Can I get an amen? Amen. The Lord honored that and I feared my mom, so I didn't ask again. 00:22:11.930 --> 00:22:24.295 Scary woman, small but powerful. That's the thing guys. Worship is what's first in your life. Sports are important. I think it's important. 00:22:24.295 --> 00:22:43.260 It's just not as important as God. So I told him about the conversation. I told them and they said, yes, let's rebuild the wall, man. And so they began the good work. It's incredible guys. 00:22:43.885 --> 00:23:04.330 You see real change comes when I get clear about my vision for the future. You know what we're all crystal clear on? Our wounds from the past and our mistakes. We have crystal clear vision when it comes to regret. Nobody in here needs needs a tour down memory lane of all your mistakes. 00:23:04.330 --> 00:23:18.205 Can I get an amen? Like we all know them. We all have twenty twenty vision when it comes to woulda, coulda, shoulda. That's the devil's game. The devil's game is dragging you back in your past. 00:23:18.205 --> 00:23:32.600 Christ's game is pulling you into your future. But you gotta get clear about my vision for the future. What is your vision? Nehemiah said the wall is torn down but I will rebuild it. I will restore it. 00:23:32.600 --> 00:23:38.680 God is with us. I talked to the king. He gave me permission. We're gonna do this. Let's rally the troops. 00:23:38.825 --> 00:23:56.800 And he rallies a core group of of just a couple of guys that he trusts. That trust him, that he loves, that love him. And he says, let's rebuild the walls. Can you do that today? Can you share a vision? 00:23:58.000 --> 00:24:27.990 Instead of going home from church today and fighting if you're a married couple, why not go home and dream together? What could our life be? When I asked my dad, I said, dad, would you pray for me over my message? My dad's battling dementia and anxiety is a big part of that. And so I was I was torn because I love him and I wanna honor him, but I I don't wanna scare him. 00:24:28.710 --> 00:24:56.090 And I don't know if you guys can tell but this is scary. You know, I look super cool but I'm a duck on the bottom. It's like, I'm drowning. And when I asked him, he started to weep. Because here's the thing, in 1976, my parents had a choice, divorce or therapy. 00:24:58.585 --> 00:25:20.910 And they chose therapy and they worked and they fought. And they have two sons who both serve as pastors today. Amen? My parents were not perfect, but listen to me, they had a purpose. They had a purpose. 00:25:22.670 --> 00:25:34.295 Do you have a purpose? Do you wanna know why life is boring? You lack purpose. You lack purpose. You were not made to be entertained. 00:25:35.015 --> 00:25:54.050 You were made for a purpose. Stop blaming blaming everybody else and take responsibility and change your life. Change your legacy. And if you're single today, change what you're looking for. Change what you're looking for. 00:25:55.490 --> 00:26:16.990 So many of single ladies, I want dangerous but compassionate. No. No. I want a bad guy that's a good guy. No. 00:26:22.750 --> 00:26:38.960 Change what you're looking for. I mean, some of you ladies are like, I just wish there was a good man around me and he's sitting next to you. And you're like, not him. And the Lord's like, yeah. Yeah. 00:26:39.200 --> 00:26:55.005 That's the guy. And some man some man right now, you know, is just like, yes. Yes. We're gonna rebuild the wall. Okay. 00:26:57.565 --> 00:27:19.490 So real change comes when I own my past without blaming others. Listen, if you're 14, it's probably your parents fault and you're a mess. If you're 24, okay. Maybe your parents are a little responsible. If you're 40, this is you. 00:27:20.370 --> 00:27:39.920 This is you. Like, let me ask you, at what age do you take ownership of your life? At what age? I mean, we used to in our country, people used to retire from the military at 38. When I was in the army, guys were retiring. 00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:59.715 I thought 38 was ancient. You remember those? You met a 38 year old, they can still walk. And now we have 38 year olds who haven't had a career. So next, how do you do this? 00:27:59.715 --> 00:28:15.100 You start small but stay consistent. Real change does not come from big dramatic moves. You know what you don't wanna do? Go home, we're changing everything. Because you know what you're gonna change? 00:28:15.100 --> 00:28:37.240 Nothing. It comes from showing up repeatedly over time. Tammy and I were out to dinner with one of our good friends this week, and he's a skinny guy, oddly skinny. And I hope Nate's not watching, but I mean, we all we all have friends that are oddly thin. Right? 00:28:37.960 --> 00:28:47.025 We don't look at him, but you know what I'm saying? Just, you know, slender. Right? And he just throws out over dinner. He used to weigh three hundred pounds. 00:28:47.425 --> 00:28:59.690 And I was like, what? And he began to talk about his struggle. And I said, how'd you change? And he said, every day. Every day. 00:29:01.210 --> 00:29:23.225 And you know why he changed? Because he watched his dad die too young. And he said, I've gotta worship God with my body and that includes my health. And so he slowly made changes. To change my legacy, I must, and this is huge, trust God and stand firm against opposition. 00:29:24.740 --> 00:29:36.305 I wish everyone in your family would cheerlead you if you decide to change. Wouldn't that be great? Like you're just, you know what folks, it's Father's Day. I've made a declaration. I'm gonna get my life right with God. 00:29:36.305 --> 00:30:02.535 Wouldn't that be awesome if everyone in your family was like, yay. But do you know why people don't want you to change? Because it makes them feel bad because they haven't. And if you're not careful as Jesus is trying to lift you up, the very family that's supposed to lift you up will be the ones that pull you down. And so I wanna encourage you to stand today and to say I'm gonna make that change. 00:30:04.055 --> 00:30:19.280 Do you wanna know why Sandals Church is as successful as it is today? Because on those days when I knew I could not do it any more, I didn't quit. Amen. That's it. That's it. 00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:34.885 That's it. You wanna know how I've been married to the same woman for thirty years? I didn't quit. And there are moments when she inspired me to wanna quit, you know. She's a powerful woman. 00:30:36.805 --> 00:30:58.300 And she would say the same thing about me. But more than half the battle is not giving up. Not giving up. Nehemiah 02/19. But when Sanballat, Tobiah and Geshem, the Arab heard of our plan, they scoffed contemptuously. 00:31:00.315 --> 00:31:10.875 So as soon as the news breaks, we're gonna rebuild the wall. Not everybody's celebrating. Not everybody wants a safe family. Not everybody wants a secure family. Not everybody wants health. 00:31:10.875 --> 00:31:26.930 Not everybody wants prosperity. Not everybody is excited to be blessed. Ain't that crazy? Some human beings are addicted to misery. Man, let's look at these guys. 00:31:27.010 --> 00:31:34.175 So who's he? Sanballat, he he has an army. You know what Nehemiah doesn't have? An army. Tobiah has the inside track. 00:31:34.175 --> 00:31:53.670 He's kinda the cool of the cool economically. And then Geshem the Arab, he handles all trade. So instantly Nehemiah is threatened economically, militarily, and relationally. The second he says, we're gonna do something for God. Here's the sad thing. 00:31:54.230 --> 00:32:12.205 Some of the worst people in your lives who are gonna come against you when you try to follow Jesus are the ones who call themselves Christians. Look what they say. What are you doing? Why are you rebelling against the king they asked? Now they know he has a letter. 00:32:12.205 --> 00:32:26.120 They know he's the cup bearer to the king. They know all of this but they do not care. Some people in your life don't want you to rebuild the wall. They want to live in garbage. Have you looked at California? 00:32:27.720 --> 00:32:47.840 Have you looked at it? You know, are young people in our state that have never seen it look anything but what it looks like. It didn't used to be like this. We need people that are ready to rebuild families, that are ready to rebuild culture. Tammy and I flew on an airplane this week. 00:32:47.840 --> 00:33:12.095 I personally think everyone that flies on an airplane should have to watch a video of conduct on a plane. And I don't know what needs to be on it, but taking your shoes off should be number one. Eating stinky food, number two. You should have to shower. Can I get an amen before you get on a plane? 00:33:12.880 --> 00:33:31.485 Good Lord. We need to change our culture, We need to change. Nehemiah two twenty, I replied, the God of heaven will help us succeed. Listen to this, you don't need people for you when God is for you. Amen. 00:33:31.485 --> 00:33:43.490 That's all you need. He says this, I replied, the God of heaven will help us succeed. I don't need an army. I don't need the inside track. I don't need trade routes. 00:33:43.490 --> 00:34:00.555 I have a route straight to God. And he is gonna deliver me. The God of heaven will help us succeed. We his servants will start rebuilding this wall. Man, look at this. 00:34:01.435 --> 00:34:14.250 They said, but you have no share. You have no legal right or historic claim in Jerusalem. I mean, are they still fighting about in Israel today? Who has legal right? Who has the claim? 00:34:15.450 --> 00:34:35.165 Raise your hand if you're a man. I know it's confusing, come on. I wanna talk about five barriers to manhood real quick. Number one, the man up mask. Some of you guys you've been told man up, man up, man up and and all that keeps you from doing or becoming is a man. 00:34:35.485 --> 00:34:52.630 You gotta learn to be real. You gotta learn to talk about what's going on. My favorite fight, my wife doesn't like it when I say that, but my favorite fight we ever had was when I just yelled out loud. I don't know what I'm doing. She was yelling at me like I knew how to husband. 00:34:52.710 --> 00:35:06.615 Raise your hand if your husband. Did you go to a husband class? Did you go? Like, if you get if you have a driver's license, you go what? Go to driver's school. 00:35:06.615 --> 00:35:21.295 You take a test. You have a kid, they just give it to you. There's no test. I remember when when Tammy had Madison, they just gave me her, like, what I'm what do I do now? I mean, you're the nurse. 00:35:21.295 --> 00:35:33.250 You know, you have a degree. They just here. Like, here's what I felt like. I felt like we're on a plane, and they say, you fly it. I'm like, woah. 00:35:33.970 --> 00:35:44.530 Woah. Okay. Right? Next, father wounds. Some of you haven't heard a word I've said today because your father has hurt your heart. 00:35:45.425 --> 00:35:58.865 I'm sorry. I'm sorry that he's ruined your life up to this point. Haven't we given that pain enough time? Let's not give it another day, another month, another year. Let's heal that wound. 00:36:01.660 --> 00:36:10.620 Next, the blame game. It's not my fault. It's not me. Well, who is it then? Who is it? 00:36:12.875 --> 00:36:29.310 Look, you wanna change your life, own what you can be responsible for and change it. Next, this is huge. Addiction. Look, listen to me, if you're an addict today, you cannot change anything until you change that. You can't have a better marriage and be an addict. 00:36:29.310 --> 00:36:35.310 You need to deal with your addiction. Okay? And guys, I love you. I love you. Ladies, don't applaud for this one. 00:36:35.470 --> 00:36:49.025 Immaturity. See, I'd I'd warn you the ladies would have gone nuts. And why is this no woman in her right mind wants to follow a boy. Grow up. Grow up. 00:36:49.505 --> 00:37:09.975 Listen to me ladies, it's hard to be men today. We have very few role models and everything that we thought was masculine is attacked. We need to celebrate masculinity. God made half of us men for a reason because we need them. So we began with my dad and we're gonna end with my son. 00:37:09.975 --> 00:37:28.230 I'm gonna ask him to come on up. He has no idea what I'm gonna do. This is my son Ethan Brown. So guys, part of what you need to do as fathers is you need to learn to affirm your sons and your children. And so Ethan, just want you to know that you're my son. 00:37:29.030 --> 00:37:44.175 I want you to know that you bear my image. I'm trying not to cry. I want you to know that you are fiercely loved. I would die to protect you. And my love for you is greater than any mistake you could ever make. 00:37:44.655 --> 00:38:04.445 I love you. I want you to know this, amen. I want you to know that your masculinity is not toxic, it is desperately needed today. We need men like you today. And here's my prayer for him, that you could see yourself through my eyes. 00:38:04.685 --> 00:38:21.430 How proud I am, how much I love you, and how much you mean to me. I love you, son. Alright. Now here's the problem. Some of you are going, my dad never did that. 00:38:22.070 --> 00:38:38.340 That's the problem. We gotta move past your hurt. So I'm gonna ask every man to stand. Please stand if you're man, even if you're watching from home, stand. Listen to me guys. 00:38:38.660 --> 00:38:55.725 Your father on earth may have never said this, but your father in heaven says it every day. I want you to hear me men. You're my son. You bear my image. You are fiercely loved. 00:38:57.005 --> 00:39:25.955 My love for you is more powerful than your mistakes. Your masculinity is not toxic, it is intentional and desperately needed. And listen to me guys, my prayer for you is that you would see yourself through my eyes. Look at you now, look at yourself, look at you now. Look at you, quit looking at what the critics say, quit looking at your mistakes and see yourself look at you right now through God's eyes. 00:39:26.435 --> 00:39:40.260 You are his son. You are a son of the king. You're entitled to his throne and you have an inheritance in heaven. And it doesn't matter what your father on earth didn't do because your father in heaven has done everything for you. Amen? 00:39:40.420 --> 00:40:02.530 Amen. Ladies, would you just extend a hand as we pray over these men? Father, we pray in Jesus name right now that these men would know how important they are to our church, to our homes, to our kids, to our world. They are not a mistake. You made them men on purpose for a reason. 00:40:03.410 --> 00:40:27.825 And Lord, I want you, I want every man to know that they are deeply loved and in Christ they are completely forgiven. And with your power, with your strength, with your spirit today, they can rebuild the walls of their lives and help them to know that the women of this church are with them and praying for them. We pray this in Jesus name and all God's people said, amen.