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Welcome to The Crucible, Conversations for the Curious.

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I am Hamish, your host.

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This podcast is for anyone going through awakenings, trying to make sense of life.

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Whether dark nights are the soul, needing to make life -changing decisions, struggling
with addiction or critical illness, or simply realizing that their life as they know it is

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not aligned to values and purpose.

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You are not alone.

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You can get through this, promise you.

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Life is far more beautiful on the other side.

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Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of The Crucible Conversations for the
Curious.

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Today we've got Robin with us.

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Robin and I met in a networking community a few weeks ago and she's got a really
fascinating story.

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She wasn't always in love with her body.

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There was this time when there was a kind of disconnect and a bit of a tussle let's call
it.

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So Robin thank you so much for turning up today for us.

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It's great to be here Hamish, thank you.

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And can you please tell us a bit about this this tussle you had with your body over the
years?

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Absolutely.

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I got to a place where I was really at odds with my body.

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I didn't like it.

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I felt it was letting me down.

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I felt it was full of pain and discomfort and I felt there was nothing I could do to
change it.

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I felt stuck and yeah it was a really uncomfortable place to be physically, emotionally,
all sorts.

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But I...

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was trying the usual things.

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I went to the doctor and got put on medication.

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I was sent for counselling and they weren't working for me and it was only fairly recently
looking back that I realised they weren't working for me because I felt more disempowered.

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I realize now that what I was looking for was something that would help me to feel
empowered, that would help me to feel I had the tools that no matter what life threw at

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me, because it's always throwing us curve balls and always shaking things up a little bit,
that whatever happened, I would have the tools to draw on.

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Because I had a sense that

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They talk about you have your resources, all that you need within you.

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At that time I didn't feel I had, but at the same time I think there was something deep
within me that was kind of giving me that nudge and saying, you do, you need to find them.

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Because unless you do, you're gonna be so dependent on external things.

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And those things aren't always gonna be there in the way that maybe you want them to be
there or you think you want them to be there.

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That nudging, I guess, just led me to go on a journey and to find out what are my
resources?

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How can I develop my toolkit?

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And through that and through my learning and my reading, realized that I was disconnected
from my sense of self, my love of self.

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And going further on that journey, reconnecting with that and now just finding joy in
every single day.

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I think that's fascinating.

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think many people will relate to having that disconnect with their own body.

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How did that feel?

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How did that make sense or not make sense that you were not connected to it?

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You didn't understand?

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Talk me through what you felt and didn't feel.

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I didn't feel at ease at all.

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And I think now people might say things like just living constantly in survival mode,
constantly in fight or flight, constantly in stress and anxiety.

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And it's over time led to physical symptoms.

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So like I said, aches and pains.

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I actually eventually got diagnosed with ME, myelgic encephalomyelitis.

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So people may know that as just exhaustion.

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no energy whatsoever, no sense of enthusiasm or motivation or vitality.

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I developed a lot of allergies, food allergies, went on to develop eczema as well and hay
fever.

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And so yeah, just had aches, pains in my joints and my muscles.

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had brain fog.

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I had headaches.

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I had migraines.

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So lots of, they weren't...

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big diagnoses but little niggly things that I just couldn't shift that were making day to
day life really horrible.

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Really a struggle.

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I think that's fascinating.

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And what's even more interesting is the fact that, you go to seek help and that action of
seeking help is actually disempowering even more, isn't it?

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I mean, that's kind of bonkers, isn't it?

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We want to go and get help, but yeah.

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So talk me through that logic of I need help because sometimes it's really important to
help or ask for help.

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But there was obviously, there was even more another layers in there as well.

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Absolutely, and I needed to reach out and ask for help.

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people, if they know about ME, they may have heard it described as, you know, people who
are high achievers or very intelligent or who work really hard.

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They tend to be the ones who get ME because we're in that push, push, push, fight or
flight, survival mode a lot of the time.

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So when you're somebody like that to reach out and ask for help is challenging because
quite often we feel I have to be independent.

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And I, you know, what we've already talked about, I wanted to be independent.

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So there is an element of being able to reach out and ask for help.

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And there's an element of being able to release that independence in order in a sense to
get it back.

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So yes, it was very important that I did reach out and ask for help, but at the same, and
the help that I was getting, what was offered to me also made me realize this isn't what I

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wanted.

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So.

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It was an important step for me, even though it didn't do what I wanted it to do.

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I guess in a way it kind of did because it revealed what it led me to a path that got me
to where I am now.

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So I never, you know, people talk about it was, it failed.

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It didn't work.

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It was wrong.

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And I would say, really?

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Maybe if you could just reframe that, maybe it wasn't wrong.

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Maybe it was a step along the way that took you in a different direction because that
didn't.

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take the box for you.

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But for me if I hadn't done that would I be here now?

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Maybe I'd have come another route.

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Could be, couldn't he?

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There's more than one route to Rome.

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Yeah.

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I like that.

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So it is, isn't it?

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It's that ability to look back and say, well, that decision wasn't the right decision, but
I learned from it.

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I learned that that is not the right door, but going up to it, it's like, there's another
one.

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can go that way.

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That's really cool, isn't it?

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And then, so you realize that...

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You were not going to get the support you wanted.

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You weren't getting the answers you wanted.

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So where did you go then?

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How did you start looking for different answers, different solutions?

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I'm a bookworm, so the next option for me was, you know, that door has shut, that door has
shut, I don't know where else to go, what can I do?

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I'll go and do some reading and I'll go and do some learning.

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And also, the internet was just kind of coming into my life at that point, so I went on a
nine month online study, which was a global study, it was run by a guy in America, but one

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of my best friends I made through that course, she's in Australia.

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So it was interesting because most of the people were, I think, from America, but the two
of us kind of on other sides of the planet, but we really connected.

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And it was all about how we think and how we look at things and how that can be a choice.

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So there was that and there were various other people that I read and I love quotes.

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So things like Wayne Dyers.

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when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

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That had a massive impact on me when I kind of meditated on it, sat and thought about it
and it was like a light bulb.

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So I have a choice.

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So I have the power to change things just by changing my perception.

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And then kind of, is that true?

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Could that possibly be true?

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How much is that true?

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To what extent can I change things?

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and going off and trying it for myself and finding, my goodness, it really does make a
huge difference.

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And Dr.

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Bruce Lipton's, moment you change your perception is the moment you change the chemistry
of your body.

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Knowing that my symptoms were due to the chemistry of my body, due to what was going on
inside of me, could I shift that as well?

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Could I shift that by shifting my perception?

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Well, Wayne Dyer told me that I could.

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effectively.

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So I've tried that as well and yeah.

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And for me it was that it was small simple steps but taken consistently had massive
changes.

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Like my life is unrecognizable now compared to how it used to be and I didn't do anything
massive and if I had tried it would I get overwhelmed.

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So I would have just run away.

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screaming in the opposite direction.

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But the fact that they were kind of smart goals, they were small, they were measurable,
they were achievable, they were realistic, and I could do them within a time frame.

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And I can look back now and see how far I've come.

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Which is so amazing.

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It just blows my mind.

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But if I can do that, anybody can do that.

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It's not difficult.

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very simple, it's just it's the consistency mostly that's sometimes challenging because we
have to go against how we think.

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Yep.

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I think so too.

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think Bruce Lipton is fascinating.

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I saw him a couple of years ago and how he takes you on a journey from, from here to
completely woo woo way out there and wacky.

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And every single step makes perfect sense.

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It's lifestyle, choices, decisions, all these things affect your, as you said, your
neurochemistry and turn genes on and off.

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it's woo woo, but it's also scientific.

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And I love people who bring those two together.

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Yeah, it's so important, isn't it?

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Because there is seemingly a massive disconnect and yet, you know, the origin of science
was magic and then it became science and it's sort of homogenizing and absolutely, yeah,

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and then bring some consciousness in there and then it's just like, okay, what's going on
guys?

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Dr.

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Joe Dispenza's Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself and if you're interested in how the
mind impacts the body, impacts the mind, that's a great book.

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He's an interesting one, he?

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He rebuilt his back, didn't he, after a car crash, wasn't it?

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I think he was taking part in something like a triathlon and he was doing the cycling
element and he got hit by a truck and yes did some very serious damage to his spine.

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That's right.

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And then he just spent time visualizing, refixing his back and mending.

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And now he's running around doing amazing stuff.

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Yeah.

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Quite an interesting human being.

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So you've read quite an eclectic collection of science and I'm going to use the word woo
woo because I can't think of another one.

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And these people are bringing these things together just to say, hey, look, we are more
than this.

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Absolutely.

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helped you make sense of your journey and make sense of what you're doing?

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I think one of, there have been several ones that have been massively impactful, but in
more recently, I think it would be Dr.

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Gabor Mate and his work on trauma.

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Because I think so many of us maybe don't realize exactly what trauma is and how it
impacts us and that things that have happened in our lives have been.

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possibly traumatic for us.

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We wouldn't think of them as trauma because we sometimes think of trauma as the big
things, 9 -11 or a car crash or losing a limb or a serious diagnosis and terminal

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prognosis.

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But trauma isn't, as Dr.

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Gabor -Matti says, it's not what happens to you, it's how you respond to what happens to
you.

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And it can also be what didn't happen to you.

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And Stephen Poor just talks about it as being a chronic disconnection.

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And Gabor Mate says the worst disconnection, the biggest wound is that we disconnect from
ourselves.

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And going back to where we started this conversation, that's where I was.

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I had to disconnected from myself.

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Me and my body were not together.

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We were fighting each other.

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I didn't realize that my body was just doing what it's designed and programmed to do.

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It was

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trying to talk to me, was trying to tell me things, it was just sharing information.

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But I was just, I don't want that.

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It's uncomfortable, it's painful, you're not working for me, you're letting me down.

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So yeah, we were totally misunderstanding each other.

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It's an endemic problem, isn't it?

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This lack of connection between whatever's sitting in here, your heart and your gut as
well.

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And yet they're all, you've got three brains all working together inside of this body.

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And yet we just listen to one of them sometimes.

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And a lot of people don't listen to that one.

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But we are conditioned to do that through our education system, through our medical
system.

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We're taught to focus on just the head brain, to be analytical.

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That's what it is to be a human being, isn't it?

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That's what it is to be intelligent and etc.

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etc.

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Never mind the fact that the heart brain has more electromagnetic activity going on in it
than the head brain and the gut brain sends more information to the head brain than the

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head brain does to the gut brain.

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And yet we still think that this little one up here is so much more than the others.

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It kind of baffles me and as you were saying that I'm just going to play devil's advocate
and what have you got in your gut?

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You've got two or three hundred different bacteria so we're not even just a human.

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There's countless bacteria in there so I that that's putting another spanner in the works
because I know if you change that gut health you're going to change your physical health

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as well so yeah it's

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It's quite incredible, isn't it?

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Well the bulk of our serotonin, our mood hormone, comes from our gut.

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And you talk about the percentage that is, you know, other bacteria.

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There's a book, One in Ten, which looks at the fact that this thing we think of as a body,
one tenth of it is DNA, human.

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The other 90 % is those microbes.

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It's kind of mind blowing, isn't it?

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it is in it and we fight about color, you know, I'm American, I'm Scottish.

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No, you're bacteria mate, you're only a tiny bit of those things.

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Okay.

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these bacteria around.

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Lovely.

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Next time I meet a right winger to say no, you're not a white Aryan rich wealthy
opinionated who hates blacks.

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You are a bug.

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Yeah.

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You're a colony.

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maybe I wrote that you're a colony, absolutely.

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But seriously, we are mostly not our own DNA, aren't we, as you just said, or what we
thought we were, okay.

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exactly.

216
00:15:44,846 --> 00:15:53,568
But none of us are what we really think we are, if you take that example of somebody who's
very opinionated and has very strong political views.

217
00:15:53,568 --> 00:15:58,990
And, you know, I'm of this color and this race and always have been kind of thing.

218
00:15:58,990 --> 00:16:10,525
There was a great program on television once where they did the DNA testing and they sent
it off and it came back and people who were very Aryan were related to people of a

219
00:16:10,525 --> 00:16:13,288
culture that they wouldn't want to have anything to do with.

220
00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:23,762
Because we are all such a mixture, in particular living in the UK, we have all sorts, all
over the generations, the millennia.

221
00:16:23,762 --> 00:16:26,087
That's absolutely fascinating.

222
00:16:26,087 --> 00:16:30,126
So what would happen if we did really connect to our bodies then?

223
00:16:30,126 --> 00:16:31,219
What would we learn?

224
00:16:31,219 --> 00:16:33,472
It would be incredible, wouldn't it?

225
00:16:33,907 --> 00:16:42,251
all of that wisdom that it holds for us, that is the resources that we have inside of us.

226
00:16:42,472 --> 00:16:48,205
If we could really listen and draw on those, what might life actually be like?

227
00:16:48,205 --> 00:16:53,998
It's such a mind -blowing question, great one for journaling or whatever.

228
00:16:54,018 --> 00:17:02,653
What might my life look like if I listened to my body, if I let it tell me what's right
for me and I made my choices from there?

229
00:17:02,753 --> 00:17:13,322
from a place of feeling at home within myself, at peace within myself, comfortable in my
own skin rather than from fear -based decisions, trauma -based decisions.

230
00:17:13,322 --> 00:17:26,608
I think that's really intriguing because I was chatting with a friend the other day about
feeling safe and how easy it is not to feel safe when we are looking at those fears,

231
00:17:26,608 --> 00:17:27,997
looking at all of that kind of stuff.

232
00:17:27,997 --> 00:17:35,711
And yet when we leave that behind us, and that's not easy, but when we do, just forget
about it for a little bit.

233
00:17:35,711 --> 00:17:39,933
And as you said, listen to this body, this vehicle that is carrying us around.

234
00:17:40,088 --> 00:17:41,018
It knows what's happening.

235
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:42,540
It's got a pretty good idea.

236
00:17:42,540 --> 00:17:46,664
Hmm.

237
00:17:46,664 --> 00:17:47,535
Lots to think about.

238
00:17:47,535 --> 00:17:47,876
Yeah.

239
00:17:47,876 --> 00:17:51,129
So how do I begin to reconnect to my body?

240
00:17:51,129 --> 00:17:56,904
What did you have to go through to start to feel or whatever?

241
00:17:56,904 --> 00:17:59,498
me through how you reconnected.

242
00:17:59,498 --> 00:18:12,162
I guess it's quite a lot of somatic stuff, so somatic of the body, not paying so much
attention to what's going on in the head, becoming conscious of it, being able to take

243
00:18:12,162 --> 00:18:22,436
that step back and be an observer of what's going on in my head, but also to bear in mind
that there's a lot of stuff equally valid going on in my body and to be an observer of

244
00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:23,526
that too.

245
00:18:23,666 --> 00:18:29,789
and to listen, to acknowledge, to become aware of the fact that pain is information.

246
00:18:30,270 --> 00:18:36,113
So if I'm feeling pain somewhere, I can actually ask that part of my body, what is that
pain all about?

247
00:18:36,113 --> 00:18:38,014
What is it holding for you?

248
00:18:38,174 --> 00:18:42,616
And it might just be something as simple as, well, it feels tight.

249
00:18:42,697 --> 00:18:46,179
Okay, so where do I feel restricted in that part of my body?

250
00:18:46,179 --> 00:18:48,880
Or what does that part of my body do for me?

251
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:52,392
Where do I feel restricted in that, in my life?

252
00:18:53,302 --> 00:18:59,007
because even just simple being very, very basic in those kind of questions.

253
00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:01,989
And I did a lot of journaling around that as well.

254
00:19:02,070 --> 00:19:03,050
it's amazing.

255
00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:07,274
I used to sit down with my journal and think, I've got nothing to write today.

256
00:19:07,274 --> 00:19:10,837
I'll probably just write about three lines, three pages later.

257
00:19:10,837 --> 00:19:12,969
I'm thinking, what on earth just happened?

258
00:19:12,969 --> 00:19:14,620
Where did that all come from?

259
00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:15,501
No idea.

260
00:19:15,501 --> 00:19:21,846
But reading back and then because of doing it for quite some time, I was able to read
through.

261
00:19:22,376 --> 00:19:31,833
and see where there were patterns or see where there were questions that I was pondering
and exploring and how that was kind of opening things up for me.

262
00:19:31,853 --> 00:19:35,536
So I think it was a combination of getting conscious.

263
00:19:35,536 --> 00:19:44,782
So I did quite a bit with Eckhart Tolle, read a lot of his work, observing, doing my best
to take any judgment out.

264
00:19:45,343 --> 00:19:50,026
Because I think that relates to safety as well, that we feel so judged.

265
00:19:50,302 --> 00:19:53,323
And we're afraid to, I was even afraid to write things.

266
00:19:53,323 --> 00:19:57,245
Somebody might read what I wrote in my journal and then they might judge me.

267
00:19:57,245 --> 00:19:59,366
And then they would think that I was crazy.

268
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:00,677
And all of that kind of stuff.

269
00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:02,647
was, you know, jumping miles ahead.

270
00:20:02,647 --> 00:20:04,888
I hadn't even put pen to paper yet.

271
00:20:05,509 --> 00:20:09,490
So it's all of that stuff, which comes into that whole idea of safety.

272
00:20:09,490 --> 00:20:11,751
Cause it's not just physical safety.

273
00:20:12,112 --> 00:20:15,153
It's emotional safety and psychological safety.

274
00:20:15,153 --> 00:20:17,894
And to have all of those in place.

275
00:20:18,496 --> 00:20:23,791
doing as much as we can for that as well I think is huge in just starting this journey.

276
00:20:23,791 --> 00:20:25,672
So that's something I write about in my book.

277
00:20:25,672 --> 00:20:31,637
I've got a section on specifically just on safety because that's the place to start.

278
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:36,363
If we're not feeling safe it makes it very difficult even to take the first step.

279
00:20:36,363 --> 00:20:45,663
Absolutely, yeah, I had a great conversation with a lady called Kate a few weeks ago and
she said that once you feel safe, that's when you can start working, that's when you can

280
00:20:45,663 --> 00:20:51,359
take that mask off, you can stop lying to people or lying to yourself, you can start
trusting.

281
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,742
And it came across so eloquently that...

282
00:20:55,199 --> 00:21:00,222
When you've got that safety around you, you can get curious.

283
00:21:00,222 --> 00:21:01,723
And obviously that's what you were doing.

284
00:21:01,723 --> 00:21:07,486
You were reading about your curiosity and listening and making sense of it and writing it
down.

285
00:21:07,486 --> 00:21:08,546
Or not.

286
00:21:09,787 --> 00:21:11,428
Yeah.

287
00:21:12,388 --> 00:21:24,765
And I completely understand that, you know, when we are guessing, second guessing might be
what if, could be if, if, if, if, if we waste so much energy.

288
00:21:24,777 --> 00:21:30,547
We waste so much time and energy on that noise and we're addicted to it as well though,
aren't we?

289
00:21:30,547 --> 00:21:31,651
That's the other problem.

290
00:21:31,651 --> 00:21:40,877
are, and that's what the Joe Dispenza book that I was talking about earlier, he talks
about how we are addicted to this stuff because we think it in our heads and then our body

291
00:21:40,877 --> 00:21:57,048
gets used to it and we're then looking for confirmation of that and so we create or we
filter to have more of those experiences because if we don't we feel unsettled and uneasy

292
00:21:57,489 --> 00:21:59,950
and in that respect it is like an addiction.

293
00:22:00,426 --> 00:22:01,159
But as Dr.

294
00:22:01,159 --> 00:22:05,016
Gabor Mati says, don't ask why the addiction, ask why the pain.

295
00:22:05,016 --> 00:22:07,048
What's driving that addiction?

296
00:22:07,629 --> 00:22:09,629
What's driving that need?

297
00:22:10,552 --> 00:22:11,633
Safety.

298
00:22:11,633 --> 00:22:13,115
Wanting to feel connected.

299
00:22:13,115 --> 00:22:15,636
Wanting to feel human.

300
00:22:15,797 --> 00:22:16,969
Properly human.

301
00:22:16,969 --> 00:22:17,880
To feel accepted.

302
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:18,882
To feel connected.

303
00:22:18,882 --> 00:22:24,104
the very bit that we are breaking away from, the very bit that we are isolating from.

304
00:22:24,104 --> 00:22:26,525
We're actually, we're sabotaging aren't we?

305
00:22:26,525 --> 00:22:39,821
Because the opposite of addiction is connection, yet we deliberately separate from your
body, from your loved ones, from your clients, from work, from whatever in that, in that

306
00:22:39,821 --> 00:22:40,311
state.

307
00:22:40,311 --> 00:22:44,883
that's, so you're, yeah, so you're following your tail, the snake chasing its tail.

308
00:22:44,883 --> 00:22:46,974
How do you get out of that cycle?

309
00:22:46,974 --> 00:22:48,114
Because it's,

310
00:22:49,069 --> 00:22:49,841
Yeah.

311
00:22:50,531 --> 00:23:01,464
For me, recently, it's been reading about the fact that when we're tiny infants, we have
two absolute essential needs, attachment and authenticity.

312
00:23:01,804 --> 00:23:13,067
But if our attachment is threatened by, or if we feel our attachment is threatened by our
desire to be authentic, and you think of the little child who isn't maybe able to express

313
00:23:13,067 --> 00:23:19,479
themselves verbally, so they might throw a tantrum, and then the parent or caregiver tells
them off.

314
00:23:19,989 --> 00:23:27,353
So, ooh, I can't express myself in that way because I want to maintain my attachment to my
parent or caregiver.

315
00:23:27,353 --> 00:23:29,974
So I push down my emotions.

316
00:23:30,635 --> 00:23:42,802
And if that happens repeatedly, if the child learns that for me to express my authentic
self in the only way that I can is actually going to threaten my attachment, if the parent

317
00:23:42,802 --> 00:23:49,335
doesn't repair and say it's okay and we'll find ways to help you express yourself in more
constructive ways or whatever.

318
00:23:49,869 --> 00:23:55,853
then that child is going to shut down their authentic expression and going to learn that
it's actually threatening.

319
00:23:55,853 --> 00:24:02,358
It's because as well, our primitive brain just goes black, white life death.

320
00:24:02,358 --> 00:24:03,979
There's no gray area.

321
00:24:03,979 --> 00:24:12,846
There's no, well, I can express this bit and I'll just keep this bit for me and keep it
inside, but make sure it's still able to do its thing.

322
00:24:12,846 --> 00:24:15,628
It'll just go, no, I cannot be authentic.

323
00:24:15,628 --> 00:24:17,301
If I want to still have

324
00:24:17,301 --> 00:24:28,757
safety of any kind if I want to still be fed, clothed etc then I need to just do what my
parent caregiver says to me that sets us up for that detachment

325
00:24:28,757 --> 00:24:29,189
Yep.

326
00:24:29,189 --> 00:24:34,425
and it then actually does feel life -threatening because that's how we've been programmed.

327
00:24:34,716 --> 00:24:35,157
Yeah.

328
00:24:35,157 --> 00:24:40,044
And then we live with that disconnection and we wonder why relationships don't work.

329
00:24:40,044 --> 00:24:44,211
We wonder why we don't dare to be authentic.

330
00:24:44,211 --> 00:24:48,067
And we, guess, build barriers and build masks and stories.

331
00:24:48,067 --> 00:24:51,589
And we just keep on doing that until we break the cycle.

332
00:24:51,989 --> 00:24:57,294
Because unfortunately, this is where our brains are programmed to work this way.

333
00:24:57,315 --> 00:25:05,481
But they haven't got the memo that we're living in the 21st century now and there is no
need for us to be in that level of fight or flight.

334
00:25:05,481 --> 00:25:07,402
It's not serving us.

335
00:25:07,823 --> 00:25:10,205
It did at one point and that's great.

336
00:25:10,205 --> 00:25:14,388
It got us through that difficult, challenging time.

337
00:25:14,388 --> 00:25:16,550
But we haven't yet learnt to write.

338
00:25:16,550 --> 00:25:18,169
Now's the time to...

339
00:25:18,169 --> 00:25:22,122
revisit this, these habits aren't serving us, how can we do it better?

340
00:25:22,122 --> 00:25:31,478
And there's nothing, not nothing, but there's very little, at least I felt there was very
little in my immediate environment that was saying, this is how you break that cycle, this

341
00:25:31,478 --> 00:25:35,661
is what you can do for yourself instead, this is how to create healthier.

342
00:25:35,661 --> 00:25:38,313
I had to go look for it.

343
00:25:38,874 --> 00:25:41,146
It wasn't just offered to me when I went, help.

344
00:25:41,146 --> 00:25:44,699
Yeah, that's yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

345
00:25:44,699 --> 00:25:47,361
I was just trying to think because yeah, I didn't go looking for it.

346
00:25:47,361 --> 00:25:48,542
I drank it.

347
00:25:48,542 --> 00:25:51,243
I drank it out of the way and that worked for a while.

348
00:25:52,905 --> 00:25:57,448
I guess like you, had eggs and yeah, we do.

349
00:25:58,169 --> 00:25:59,890
But they don't always work.

350
00:25:59,890 --> 00:26:00,871
You got sore.

351
00:26:00,871 --> 00:26:02,152
I got drunk.

352
00:26:04,053 --> 00:26:06,475
There's a kind of macabre humor there.

353
00:26:06,515 --> 00:26:07,656
sorry, say again.

354
00:26:07,675 --> 00:26:10,876
I'm the child of somebody who got drunk, so yeah.

355
00:26:10,876 --> 00:26:18,791
And that was one that I guess it was an option, but I was like, I'm not going there
because I'd seen the damage that that can do.

356
00:26:18,911 --> 00:26:21,292
But we all have something.

357
00:26:21,352 --> 00:26:25,133
So my dad drank, I did other stuff.

358
00:26:25,934 --> 00:26:29,976
And it's being able to step back and see that's my addiction.

359
00:26:29,976 --> 00:26:31,516
That's what I'm doing.

360
00:26:32,217 --> 00:26:33,157
For me.

361
00:26:33,163 --> 00:26:39,398
It's just, we may have a variety of kinds, but it's still doing the same thing for us.

362
00:26:39,398 --> 00:26:42,862
We're still self -medicating about something.

363
00:26:42,862 --> 00:26:51,801
So your journaling, your writing, your reading, that curiosity, that choice you made to
self -empower, I think.

364
00:26:51,801 --> 00:26:53,933
That's basically how we could phrase it, isn't it?

365
00:26:53,933 --> 00:26:56,585
How did you keep that going?

366
00:26:56,585 --> 00:27:01,510
Because I assume it was uncomfortable because it was initially unsafe.

367
00:27:02,197 --> 00:27:13,290
Yes, and that's where I think the consistency can be a real challenge because I'm saying
it's small simple steps and I think it was keeping the steps small but also the reading

368
00:27:13,290 --> 00:27:24,643
that I was doing you know if you you they say that you become the five people you spend
most time with so I was reading Eckhart Tolle and lots of other writers as well Caroline

369
00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:26,053
Mice and various others.

370
00:27:26,053 --> 00:27:32,325
Brene Brown has been a big one for me listening to Brene Brown reading Brene Brown and

371
00:27:33,025 --> 00:27:35,526
just being inspired.

372
00:27:35,787 --> 00:27:47,805
And I think any time that I felt low, any time I I can't do this anymore, I would read and
therefore spend time with one of those people who lifts me up, inspires me.

373
00:27:47,805 --> 00:27:50,257
And like reading Dr.

374
00:27:50,257 --> 00:27:53,479
Joe Dispenza and you just think, my goodness, how did he fix his own back?

375
00:27:53,479 --> 00:27:54,940
That's possible.

376
00:27:55,401 --> 00:28:00,464
And it just gave me another little shot of, yeah, this is possible.

377
00:28:00,464 --> 00:28:02,305
Maybe I can do it too.

378
00:28:02,963 --> 00:28:08,478
Even though I look at those people and I think, my goodness, I will never reach their
level in a million years.

379
00:28:08,478 --> 00:28:15,384
But just even if I could have one hundredth or one thousandth of what they have, and why
not?

380
00:28:15,384 --> 00:28:17,305
We're just all human beings.

381
00:28:17,446 --> 00:28:18,787
So I think it was that.

382
00:28:18,787 --> 00:28:27,326
was coming back into that mindset, immersing myself in that mindset and feeling, yeah.

383
00:28:27,326 --> 00:28:28,398
Inspired again.

384
00:28:28,398 --> 00:28:40,199
think you've nailed it there isn't it it is you've you found something you wanted you've
you said I want that and you've set yourself towards it you've gone that is really what I

385
00:28:40,199 --> 00:28:51,290
want I'm gonna go for it and that that determination makes so much doesn't it I remember
as a kid I wanted or the kid a teenager I wanted to get into the TV industry and I would

386
00:28:51,290 --> 00:28:52,901
go down to London and back

387
00:28:53,109 --> 00:28:54,059
down to London and back.

388
00:28:54,059 --> 00:29:01,424
And eventually I got that job and it was worth all that stress and frustration and I never
got to get a job.

389
00:29:02,045 --> 00:29:04,017
And that was more important to me than anything.

390
00:29:04,017 --> 00:29:05,658
And I think that's it, it?

391
00:29:05,658 --> 00:29:10,692
When you find that thing that is really important to you, you put the effort in.

392
00:29:10,692 --> 00:29:15,434
And there are so many stories out there about the number of famous people and that's what
they've done.

393
00:29:15,434 --> 00:29:17,174
They've just gone for it, gone for it.

394
00:29:17,174 --> 00:29:22,796
Steve Jobs, lots of sports people who've been knocked back, knocked back, knocked back.

395
00:29:22,976 --> 00:29:25,036
But they've just known that's what I want.

396
00:29:25,196 --> 00:29:26,987
And they just won't take no for an answer.

397
00:29:26,987 --> 00:29:34,719
And I think it's when you find that thing and that's whatever it is for you, because we're
all individuals.

398
00:29:34,759 --> 00:29:37,220
For me, it was, I don't want to live like this anymore.

399
00:29:37,220 --> 00:29:38,660
I can't bear it.

400
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:40,681
it's this or I'm checking out.

401
00:29:40,801 --> 00:29:43,743
You know, this has got to work for me or I'm not here anymore.

402
00:29:43,923 --> 00:29:52,339
So having that just, no, I'm going to do it because it doesn't feel like there's another
option.

403
00:29:52,339 --> 00:29:53,920
So you were trusting your gut, you?

404
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:58,484
You were trusting that that vision was, I'm going to go for it.

405
00:29:58,484 --> 00:30:01,360
I had to bring it back into the body because it's somatic.

406
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,711
And I think it was that little niggling voice again.

407
00:30:03,711 --> 00:30:06,403
I don't think I had a clear sense up here.

408
00:30:06,403 --> 00:30:11,885
I had a guidance from down here, from my gut, from my heart.

409
00:30:11,885 --> 00:30:13,286
This is possible.

410
00:30:13,286 --> 00:30:16,678
This is who you were born to be.

411
00:30:16,678 --> 00:30:25,641
This is actually who you really are rather than what you think you are and how your life
has gotten out of shape.

412
00:30:26,182 --> 00:30:27,514
And you have

413
00:30:27,514 --> 00:30:33,738
disconnected and lost that sense of your body knows, your body's talking to you, listen to
your body.

414
00:30:33,858 --> 00:30:40,042
Something in my body was still going this way, do this, listen to me.

415
00:30:40,943 --> 00:30:42,395
Yeah.

416
00:30:42,395 --> 00:30:43,977
And it gets more insistent, doesn't it?

417
00:30:43,977 --> 00:30:49,723
And as you said, you get aches and pains, you get sick, you autoimmune diseases, you get
cancer.

418
00:30:49,723 --> 00:30:53,527
All these things are your body saying, hey, this ain't working.

419
00:30:53,527 --> 00:30:55,509
Drinking, this ain't working.

420
00:30:55,509 --> 00:30:58,143
You know, I was in that conflict.

421
00:30:58,143 --> 00:31:03,416
because it wasn't working and yet I didn't know better until it was that time to make that
change.

422
00:31:03,418 --> 00:31:06,174
So they got too uncomfortable like you did, yeah.

423
00:31:06,174 --> 00:31:14,080
Yeah, and I think along with that, the curiosity curiosity is a big one for me, but the
compassion.

424
00:31:14,461 --> 00:31:22,047
So you did it for a reason and you're not mad and you're not stupid and you're not
rubbish.

425
00:31:22,869 --> 00:31:29,310
Your body was actually just trying to keep you safe and it was doing a great job
initially.

426
00:31:29,310 --> 00:31:32,421
But that's not something that serves you over time.

427
00:31:32,421 --> 00:31:35,572
So now you've got to this point where you realise it's no longer serving you.

428
00:31:35,572 --> 00:31:36,692
Great!

429
00:31:37,032 --> 00:31:49,416
It's just, okay, now's the time to make a change and choose a change that you want rather
than choosing by default or ending up in another path that you're not really that keen is

430
00:31:49,416 --> 00:31:50,327
not helping you.

431
00:31:50,327 --> 00:31:52,958
It's just the op it's the option, it's the offer.

432
00:31:52,958 --> 00:31:56,889
I think that's what disease often is.

433
00:31:56,889 --> 00:32:02,106
It's that opportunity to think again, to choose another path.

434
00:32:02,106 --> 00:32:03,586
Yeah.

435
00:32:03,586 --> 00:32:07,647
I'm currently reading Robert Fritz, the path of least resistance.

436
00:32:07,928 --> 00:32:11,729
And he says, you've always got choices, but you can make it.

437
00:32:11,729 --> 00:32:19,331
You can, you can pick one for you, or you can just go for one or, you know, just eliminate
them all.

438
00:32:19,331 --> 00:32:22,051
And yeah, go for the one you want.

439
00:32:22,772 --> 00:32:24,482
It is, it's so empowering, isn't it?

440
00:32:24,482 --> 00:32:26,793
And you've taken away the shame.

441
00:32:26,793 --> 00:32:32,114
You've, you've just said, Hey, what you were doing for X years, weeks, months.

442
00:32:32,422 --> 00:32:33,664
That's what you were doing.

443
00:32:33,664 --> 00:32:39,580
You were doing the best you could and now you'll be able to look at it from a slightly
different direction and go, hmm, I can do it differently.

444
00:32:39,580 --> 00:32:41,452
So there's no need to shame.

445
00:32:42,654 --> 00:32:44,455
Just be aware and go right.

446
00:32:44,542 --> 00:32:49,287
But yeah, taking out that shame because shame doesn't really serve a purpose.

447
00:32:49,287 --> 00:32:57,935
And I loved what Gabor Mate again, I talk a lot about him, but he talks about guilt is
feeling bad about something we've done.

448
00:32:58,016 --> 00:33:00,308
Shame is about feeling bad about who we are.

449
00:33:00,308 --> 00:33:08,137
And when you think about that, how awful is that to feel bad for being yourself?

450
00:33:08,137 --> 00:33:22,084
And it works for, you know, if you want to control people, if it's, if you're trying to
manipulate a certain outcome, shame is often used because people will behave in a certain

451
00:33:22,084 --> 00:33:23,845
way if they're feeling shame.

452
00:33:24,125 --> 00:33:30,067
But if we empower ourselves and can release that shame, how much more could we be?

453
00:33:30,368 --> 00:33:33,239
Because we're not feeling restricted, we're not

454
00:33:33,249 --> 00:33:40,984
shutting ourselves down in any way we're able to stand tall in who we really are and not
worry about what other people think about us.

455
00:33:40,984 --> 00:33:45,637
And there's been other stuff that I've read over the years about how amazing we actually
are.

456
00:33:45,637 --> 00:33:57,434
I read something once about how we are made from stardust, you know, if you think about
the Big Bang and there's all that stardust out there and it all came together and formed

457
00:33:57,434 --> 00:34:00,135
planets and asteroids and all of these things.

458
00:34:00,337 --> 00:34:05,851
And then down the generations how different genes and so on were selected.

459
00:34:05,851 --> 00:34:15,499
But also if you think about how many embryos are fertilized or not fertilized even, so
they don't go any further, ones that are fertilized that don't make it.

460
00:34:16,379 --> 00:34:30,215
And yet those of us who are here living this life, we made it despite all the odds and
that we were designed to make it and designed to bring our unique

461
00:34:30,215 --> 00:34:33,477
gifts and whatever to the world.

462
00:34:34,119 --> 00:34:40,904
So I love Marianne Williamson as well, her quote about, it's not our shadow we're afraid
of, it's our light.

463
00:34:41,425 --> 00:34:43,787
Because then we've got to stand up and own it.

464
00:34:44,188 --> 00:34:47,410
But our playing small doesn't serve anyone.

465
00:34:48,351 --> 00:34:57,180
Whereas standing up in our truth, shining our light, serves those around us, serves us,
and gives everybody else permission to do the same.

466
00:34:57,180 --> 00:34:58,900
Super powerful, yeah.

467
00:34:59,598 --> 00:35:06,504
reading that along my journey just blew my mind and just thought, wow, if that's true,
what could that mean for me?

468
00:35:06,504 --> 00:35:07,826
It is, isn't it?

469
00:35:07,826 --> 00:35:09,527
It's empowering.

470
00:35:09,527 --> 00:35:22,978
I think, I don't think, I know giving ourselves permission to be ourselves is so magical
because then we are not, we're not carrying on the addictive father.

471
00:35:22,978 --> 00:35:24,780
We're not carrying on that trauma.

472
00:35:24,780 --> 00:35:27,622
We're not carrying on the abusive relationship.

473
00:35:27,622 --> 00:35:29,103
We're not carrying all that stuff.

474
00:35:29,103 --> 00:35:33,997
are, we're actually being who we know we are.

475
00:35:34,743 --> 00:35:37,544
And yes, society doesn't like that.

476
00:35:37,544 --> 00:35:38,475
Schools don't like that.

477
00:35:38,475 --> 00:35:40,486
We're not designed to think for ourselves.

478
00:35:40,486 --> 00:35:45,407
We're designed to be the next person pushing that button and feeding the treadmill.

479
00:35:45,407 --> 00:35:52,212
But when we do that for ourselves, we set ourselves free and we help other people to start
believing in themselves.

480
00:35:52,212 --> 00:35:55,905
And also I think in terms of that we're afraid of our light.

481
00:35:56,506 --> 00:36:00,309
I think to take the pressure off, we don't have to be perfect.

482
00:36:01,070 --> 00:36:07,495
If we can just be conscious and if we're making a mistake, that's okay.

483
00:36:07,696 --> 00:36:13,240
Be compassionate and learn from that and make a different choice next time.

484
00:36:13,240 --> 00:36:14,841
Hopefully a better one.

485
00:36:15,502 --> 00:36:18,765
But we're perfectly imperfect or imperfectly perfect.

486
00:36:19,045 --> 00:36:19,967
And that's enough.

487
00:36:19,967 --> 00:36:21,899
We don't have to get it right all the time.

488
00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:33,435
And I loved a thing I learned a while ago, that if you make a choice and you discover this
isn't going quite how I'd hoped it would, plot twist, go in a different direction.

489
00:36:33,456 --> 00:36:36,359
We're never stuck with a decision we've made.

490
00:36:36,359 --> 00:36:37,682
We can always make another one.

491
00:36:37,682 --> 00:36:39,923
Yeah, there might be consequences.

492
00:36:39,923 --> 00:36:41,314
There might be a of fallout.

493
00:36:41,314 --> 00:36:42,304
You've learned something.

494
00:36:42,304 --> 00:36:42,885
Yeah.

495
00:36:42,885 --> 00:36:43,416
Yeah.

496
00:36:43,416 --> 00:36:43,756
Yeah.

497
00:36:43,756 --> 00:36:49,758
I'm not very fond of my journey into alcohol and out the other side, but I learned
something from it.

498
00:36:49,858 --> 00:36:53,090
And it certainly brought me to who I am today with a bit more compassion.

499
00:36:53,090 --> 00:36:58,472
And I don't think the person sleeping under the bus station with a needle in his arm is a
horrible person.

500
00:36:58,472 --> 00:37:00,032
He's just had some crappy time.

501
00:37:00,032 --> 00:37:01,703
Yeah.

502
00:37:02,683 --> 00:37:04,564
You know, I see that.

503
00:37:04,648 --> 00:37:12,186
stigma must not exist for the alcoholic, for the drunk, even though society sort of looks
down on people.

504
00:37:12,186 --> 00:37:19,081
And also if you look at some of the most amazing inspirational characters, they've been to
some of the worst places.

505
00:37:19,922 --> 00:37:22,243
Emotionally, cognitively.

506
00:37:22,624 --> 00:37:26,827
So I think it does, it teaches us compassion.

507
00:37:26,848 --> 00:37:30,510
When we feel what we feel like is our rock bottom.

508
00:37:31,071 --> 00:37:38,266
And then we can reach out to others, we can connect on that human level, and also we can
say to others, you're okay.

509
00:37:38,715 --> 00:37:39,466
Yeah.

510
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:44,671
Don't stigmatise yourself, don't label yourself, don't be ashamed.

511
00:37:44,671 --> 00:37:46,255
We've all got our stuff.

512
00:37:46,255 --> 00:37:47,499
That's what makes us human.

513
00:37:47,499 --> 00:37:48,221
It's fine.

514
00:37:48,221 --> 00:37:50,132
The thief of life is comparison isn't it?

515
00:37:50,132 --> 00:37:59,845
It really, it really is comparing yourself with somebody else who's got a different story,
different experiences, more money or less money, better looking or worse looking or the

516
00:37:59,845 --> 00:38:01,806
filter on TikTok.

517
00:38:01,819 --> 00:38:02,621
Yes.

518
00:38:02,885 --> 00:38:05,458
I don't know.

519
00:38:05,679 --> 00:38:06,591
Yes, exactly.

520
00:38:06,591 --> 00:38:09,936
It's not very helpful, is it, really, in many ways?

521
00:38:09,936 --> 00:38:10,886
Yeah.

522
00:38:11,110 --> 00:38:12,451
I think it's like anything.

523
00:38:12,451 --> 00:38:14,573
Social media just is social media.

524
00:38:14,573 --> 00:38:17,645
It's how we use it and how we interact with it.

525
00:38:17,645 --> 00:38:21,879
But unfortunately we're doing that from a fear -based, trauma -based place.

526
00:38:21,879 --> 00:38:30,426
If we could get more conscious on how we interact with it and what it's doing to, for us.

527
00:38:31,007 --> 00:38:35,791
And using it from that place of, I'm aware of what this is doing.

528
00:38:35,791 --> 00:38:38,953
I'm aware and conscious of the choices in my using it.

529
00:38:38,974 --> 00:38:39,914
I think...

530
00:38:39,917 --> 00:38:41,066
would be better for it.

531
00:38:41,066 --> 00:38:42,758
I get some great inspiration from it.

532
00:38:42,758 --> 00:38:45,722
I'll flick stuff on at three in the morning when I can't sleep.

533
00:38:45,722 --> 00:38:47,054
that's a good idea.

534
00:38:48,757 --> 00:38:49,939
it is isn't it?

535
00:38:49,939 --> 00:38:54,028
yeah intentionality comes back down to that as well doesn't it?

536
00:38:54,028 --> 00:38:54,476
us.

537
00:38:54,476 --> 00:38:58,847
Okay, so someone is disconnected with their body.

538
00:38:58,847 --> 00:39:01,758
I mean, you've touched on journaling and things like that.

539
00:39:01,758 --> 00:39:12,451
What would be some really simple tips that they would start to see some changes quite
quickly?

540
00:39:12,451 --> 00:39:15,382
I know that's a crazy ask because we all want things quickly, what...

541
00:39:15,382 --> 00:39:17,943
I'm going to start that again.

542
00:39:17,943 --> 00:39:23,234
Okay, so we've got a couple of listeners who...

543
00:39:23,834 --> 00:39:27,299
are not feeling connected to their body and they know something isn't right.

544
00:39:27,299 --> 00:39:38,536
What could you suggest to them, differently to what the journaling and things like that,
that they will start to see some results just to get that sense of achievement and go, I

545
00:39:38,536 --> 00:39:40,008
am going down the right path.

546
00:39:40,008 --> 00:39:43,690
There's a lot of stuff, anything that works the body.

547
00:39:43,791 --> 00:39:50,476
I start quite often by encouraging people to do a body scan because then we can notice
what's going on in our body.

548
00:39:50,476 --> 00:39:53,288
We can be that observer of what's going on in our body.

549
00:39:53,288 --> 00:39:56,170
And I think in terms of a body vocabulary.

550
00:39:56,170 --> 00:39:58,381
So how does my body show me?

551
00:39:58,381 --> 00:40:06,327
There'll be similarities, but we all also have our unique ways of how our body shows us
what feels good and what doesn't feel so good.

552
00:40:06,527 --> 00:40:07,590
And when we get

553
00:40:07,590 --> 00:40:10,182
That set of vocabulary for this feels good, right?

554
00:40:10,182 --> 00:40:11,173
This is where I want to be.

555
00:40:11,173 --> 00:40:16,447
How do I get myself to here versus what doesn't feel good, right?

556
00:40:16,447 --> 00:40:19,809
Okay, I'm noticing that I'm starting to drift into that.

557
00:40:20,370 --> 00:40:24,452
How can I support myself to drift more over to what feels good?

558
00:40:24,893 --> 00:40:29,016
And we are designed to be able to go between those two states.

559
00:40:29,604 --> 00:40:31,816
It changes our heart rate variability.

560
00:40:31,816 --> 00:40:41,714
And when our heart rate variability is good, so sometimes it's high, sometimes it's low,
it's not constantly high or constantly low, but being able to go between those two is

561
00:40:41,714 --> 00:40:42,515
really good.

562
00:40:42,515 --> 00:40:49,431
And we get that literacy, emotional literacy of, know what I feel like when I don't feel
good.

563
00:40:49,431 --> 00:40:54,525
So when I start to notice that I take action, I can catch it earlier and earlier and
earlier.

564
00:40:54,525 --> 00:40:58,568
The earlier I catch it, the less distance I've gone away from.

565
00:40:58,918 --> 00:41:01,589
where I want to be balanced and well -being.

566
00:41:01,809 --> 00:41:13,172
But also things like qigong, tai chi, yoga, and finding the practice that's right for the
individual, because different people, are so many different types of yoga.

567
00:41:13,892 --> 00:41:18,893
What feels good for you, but using your body, dance as well is another great one.

568
00:41:19,094 --> 00:41:27,846
Using your body and feel how it feels when it feels good and you're listening to it,
because yoga is all about discipline and practice.

569
00:41:27,846 --> 00:41:33,628
any of those kind of Eastern body disciplines are really good for that.

570
00:41:34,291 --> 00:41:35,524
Something like that.

571
00:41:35,524 --> 00:41:51,019
even you know walking, getting outdoors in nature and just spending that time developing
that sense of safety in movement and safety in expression with your body and just

572
00:41:51,019 --> 00:41:53,459
noticing, just observing.

573
00:41:54,400 --> 00:42:01,363
All of those things I think it's a good foundation for developing that further.

574
00:42:01,363 --> 00:42:03,755
And it does work quite quickly, doesn't it?

575
00:42:03,755 --> 00:42:07,428
You do start to feel, you do start to notice things.

576
00:42:07,428 --> 00:42:09,060
It's like, I've got that pain in my neck.

577
00:42:09,060 --> 00:42:09,560
What is it?

578
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:17,957
And yeah, I I spend a lot of time out in nature and I find it really, really helpful and
breathing and slowing down.

579
00:42:17,957 --> 00:42:20,930
And it does make me feel better.

580
00:42:21,070 --> 00:42:21,751
really does.

581
00:42:21,751 --> 00:42:23,752
Simple, few simple things.

582
00:42:24,328 --> 00:42:34,517
I've got a great exercise that I learned and I've shared on my YouTube channel, which is,
you know, get lots of different breathing exercises, but in terms of the coming back into

583
00:42:34,517 --> 00:42:42,264
your body and the groundingness and centeringness of that, it's just to trace around the
hand.

584
00:42:42,264 --> 00:42:44,125
And every time you go up, you breathe in.

585
00:42:44,125 --> 00:42:51,953
And when you come down, you breathe out and you can do it at whatever pace because the
more we can slow our breath and deepen our breath.

586
00:42:51,953 --> 00:42:57,639
And because it's tactile, it brings us back into our body, helps to ground us and centre
us.

587
00:42:57,639 --> 00:43:04,566
And when we do that, we get greater clarity of thought because we're not in that buzzing
hamster wheel of, I've to do, I've got to do, I've got to do.

588
00:43:04,907 --> 00:43:07,110
It just brings us into the present moment.

589
00:43:07,110 --> 00:43:07,701
I love that.

590
00:43:07,701 --> 00:43:09,172
think that is fantastic.

591
00:43:09,172 --> 00:43:12,726
can see myself walking down, walking around the woods doing that.

592
00:43:12,726 --> 00:43:13,575
That is a great one.

593
00:43:13,575 --> 00:43:18,070
is definitely, I'll make sure that gets highlighted in the show notes for that.

594
00:43:18,070 --> 00:43:18,971
Yeah.

595
00:43:19,272 --> 00:43:20,242
Robin, that's brilliant.

596
00:43:20,242 --> 00:43:21,024
Thank you.

597
00:43:21,024 --> 00:43:22,655
You've shared some lovely stuff with us.

598
00:43:22,655 --> 00:43:25,378
I think that's that enthusiasm and...

599
00:43:25,378 --> 00:43:32,018
that importance of just beginning to feel your body and reconnect with it because it's
powerful, isn't it?

600
00:43:32,018 --> 00:43:33,680
It's really, really powerful.

601
00:43:33,953 --> 00:43:40,786
And the more we listen and respond, the more our body realizes that we're listening and
responding.

602
00:43:41,067 --> 00:43:43,628
And it will start to work with us.

603
00:43:43,789 --> 00:43:53,714
So from where I was in a place where just pushing against each other, just starting to
listen, then it doesn't need to shout.

604
00:43:53,714 --> 00:44:00,558
So the pain will dial down, discomforts will dial down and it will start doing the body
vocabulary.

605
00:44:00,558 --> 00:44:02,259
We'll get clearer on what it's saying.

606
00:44:02,259 --> 00:44:03,103
It will

607
00:44:03,103 --> 00:44:10,992
start speaking with us more, sharing more with us, we'll be able to know how to respond
and it all just becomes a really positive cycle.

608
00:44:10,992 --> 00:44:15,653
Cool, okay, so what is your relationship with your body now then?

609
00:44:15,653 --> 00:44:19,633
Explain from the before to what it's like now.

610
00:44:19,633 --> 00:44:23,694
I live in the country and I have horses and a dog.

611
00:44:23,694 --> 00:44:35,878
So nowadays I'm out walking a lot and moving a lot and I just notice how easy my body is
these days.

612
00:44:35,878 --> 00:44:42,800
Whereas before it was stiff and painful and now my joints just move.

613
00:44:42,860 --> 00:44:47,429
You know, they just feel like somebody's lubricated them and

614
00:44:47,429 --> 00:45:02,274
They feel easy and I love to feel all the things that my body can do for me rather than
how I always felt it was doing things against me or it wouldn't do what I wanted to do.

615
00:45:02,474 --> 00:45:08,686
And I used to have food intolerances and stuff and now I just, right, body, what do you
feel you want today?

616
00:45:08,686 --> 00:45:12,337
Okay, let's have that then and let's enjoy it.

617
00:45:12,591 --> 00:45:17,475
So I'm very big about getting curious, about bringing joy in, because joy is a choice.

618
00:45:17,475 --> 00:45:22,237
And sometimes we might not be able to see that and work with that, but it gets to being a
choice.

619
00:45:22,237 --> 00:45:26,870
So I've got to that point now where I choose when I feel happy.

620
00:45:26,870 --> 00:45:32,623
And if I find I'm not feeling particularly joyful, I stop myself and say, right now,
where's my joy?

621
00:45:32,623 --> 00:45:33,443
there it is.

622
00:45:33,443 --> 00:45:35,684
The light bulb has just come on.

623
00:45:35,684 --> 00:45:38,926
So I think that it's that kind of thing.

624
00:45:38,926 --> 00:45:40,727
It's being able to have fun.

625
00:45:40,853 --> 00:45:55,003
play with my what I can do and how my body can move and all the things that it allows me
to do and to experience and then bringing in joy and my wild acronym the last one of those

626
00:45:55,003 --> 00:46:09,804
is dance so it's just seeing life as a dance so sometimes I actually dance but sometimes
it's just that feeling inside of me where something is dancing doing a little happy dance

627
00:46:09,804 --> 00:46:10,466
Brilliant.

628
00:46:10,466 --> 00:46:11,870
Tell me about this wild.

629
00:46:11,870 --> 00:46:12,563
What is this?

630
00:46:12,563 --> 00:46:25,010
This was something that I developed through my journey and because I work very strongly
with the wisdom of nature, ties in nicely, and we kind of touched before we came live on

631
00:46:25,651 --> 00:46:28,012
how life can get messy.

632
00:46:28,953 --> 00:46:39,495
I live in the countryside and particularly over the summer we've just had, we've had a lot
of water, rain, and the temperatures have been mild -ish.

633
00:46:39,495 --> 00:46:41,146
So things have just gone crazy.

634
00:46:41,146 --> 00:46:47,341
We have brambles that seem to grow six foot overnight and they just entangle and they trip
you up.

635
00:46:47,402 --> 00:46:48,933
And life can be a bit like that.

636
00:46:48,933 --> 00:46:52,566
Sometimes you feel like something just trips you up out of nowhere.

637
00:46:52,586 --> 00:46:54,948
So it can feel messy.

638
00:46:55,049 --> 00:47:05,399
But for me, it's when we shift our perception, when we remember that quote from Wayne
Dyer, when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change, then

639
00:47:05,399 --> 00:47:21,365
we get to be conscious and have the right intention and then life is less likely to trip
us up or we can maneuver, can, or sorry, we can manage that and find out the best way to

640
00:47:21,365 --> 00:47:26,377
work with that as well and to allow a certain amount of it because that's fine.

641
00:47:26,377 --> 00:47:27,557
Life just is like that.

642
00:47:27,557 --> 00:47:29,538
It colors outside of the lines.

643
00:47:29,758 --> 00:47:30,650
If it was

644
00:47:30,650 --> 00:47:34,492
boring and regimented it wouldn't be half so much fun.

645
00:47:34,552 --> 00:47:40,276
So just laugh with it, plot twist and enjoy.

646
00:47:41,037 --> 00:47:46,661
So the different parts of the acronym are to see life with wonder.

647
00:47:46,921 --> 00:47:54,947
As adults we get cynical and jaded and weighed down by worries versus just seeing it with
the eyes of a child.

648
00:47:54,947 --> 00:48:00,250
You know that why why why is the sky blue what's a rainbow and they're just

649
00:48:00,502 --> 00:48:08,164
reaching out and grabbing all of the knowledge and the experience they can and I think
that's kind of why we're here.

650
00:48:08,204 --> 00:48:09,865
That's what life is about.

651
00:48:09,865 --> 00:48:14,486
Getting every little nuance of experience, whatever that experience might be.

652
00:48:14,546 --> 00:48:19,387
We are the ones who put meaning on it and label it as good or bad, right or wrong.

653
00:48:19,407 --> 00:48:20,667
It just is.

654
00:48:21,148 --> 00:48:22,368
So that's wild.

655
00:48:22,368 --> 00:48:23,428
Wonder.

656
00:48:24,309 --> 00:48:26,009
I is intuition.

657
00:48:26,009 --> 00:48:29,592
whole listen to your heart, listen to your gut, let your body guide you.

658
00:48:29,592 --> 00:48:32,644
It's your compass, it's your sat nav.

659
00:48:32,644 --> 00:48:34,985
It's like the lane assist in your car.

660
00:48:35,026 --> 00:48:38,888
If you're feeling discomfort, it's just the alert that you've drifted.

661
00:48:38,929 --> 00:48:40,650
Come back to your true nature.

662
00:48:40,650 --> 00:48:42,151
Come back into your own lane.

663
00:48:42,151 --> 00:48:43,492
You'll be fine.

664
00:48:44,213 --> 00:48:49,836
L is love yourself, as you are, and as you are not, that whole comparison thing.

665
00:48:49,877 --> 00:48:52,428
You might not be this person on TikTok.

666
00:48:52,428 --> 00:48:58,022
You might not be this superstar, but you're you, and you're the only you.

667
00:48:58,042 --> 00:49:00,884
and you're the only one who can bring what you can bring to life.

668
00:49:00,924 --> 00:49:03,366
And then D is dance.

669
00:49:03,506 --> 00:49:07,789
Because we sometimes see life as one step forward and two steps back.

670
00:49:07,910 --> 00:49:11,492
Whereas somebody said to me recently one step forward and ten steps back.

671
00:49:12,213 --> 00:49:16,296
But if we saw that as a dance, then that's okay.

672
00:49:16,296 --> 00:49:21,179
If I go one step this way and ten steps that way, it's no problem.

673
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:24,273
I just experience this and then I experience that.

674
00:49:24,273 --> 00:49:33,530
So taking away that judgement, taking away that sense of right and wrong, good and bad,
I'm a failure, I'm not good enough, we just are.

675
00:49:33,530 --> 00:49:35,602
And it's all okay.

676
00:49:35,602 --> 00:49:37,624
Yep.

677
00:49:37,624 --> 00:49:38,134
I love that.

678
00:49:38,134 --> 00:49:44,529
I love the whole idea of the not the virus were wrong, not the regimented, not the black
and white, but it's a dance.

679
00:49:44,529 --> 00:49:47,301
It's like, yeah, I'm over here.

680
00:49:47,622 --> 00:49:48,403
That experience.

681
00:49:48,403 --> 00:49:49,743
Didn't like that one.

682
00:49:50,665 --> 00:49:51,826
That was all right.

683
00:49:51,826 --> 00:49:52,976
That one's brilliant.

684
00:49:52,976 --> 00:49:53,677
That one's good.

685
00:49:53,677 --> 00:49:54,147
Yeah.

686
00:49:54,147 --> 00:49:55,389
I love that.

687
00:49:55,389 --> 00:49:56,329
Yeah.

688
00:49:57,250 --> 00:49:58,551
It is a dance.

689
00:49:58,991 --> 00:50:00,012
Fab.

690
00:50:00,913 --> 00:50:04,616
Where can people find out more about you and what you do?

691
00:50:05,297 --> 00:50:10,772
So my website is probably the central place and from there you can find me on my socials.

692
00:50:10,973 --> 00:50:13,615
My website is equenergy .com.

693
00:50:13,615 --> 00:50:17,519
E -Q -U -E -N -E -R -G -Y .com.

694
00:50:17,519 --> 00:50:21,544
And then I'm also on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram and YouTube.

695
00:50:21,544 --> 00:50:30,063
Okay and we were talking before we went live about something you're recording and a book.

696
00:50:30,063 --> 00:50:31,457
Tell us a little bit more about that.

697
00:50:31,457 --> 00:50:40,497
Yes, so in July this year 2024 I published my book Take a Walk on the Wild Side.

698
00:50:40,497 --> 00:50:49,297
So it's available currently paperback on Amazon and Waterstones and it's also available
from my website.

699
00:50:49,297 --> 00:50:59,047
There's also a Kindle version on Amazon but a lot of people are saying they want
audiobooks these days because they're out and about or for whatever reason

700
00:50:59,047 --> 00:51:06,186
So I am recording the audiobook and working my way through editing it.

701
00:51:06,186 --> 00:51:12,372
And it's all myself doing this, so I'm just fitting it in and around everything else in my
life.

702
00:51:12,693 --> 00:51:17,729
So it'll be a while, but it should be well before Christmas, I'm hoping.

703
00:51:17,729 --> 00:51:19,402
I've set myself that intention.

704
00:51:19,402 --> 00:51:20,232
Brilliant.

705
00:51:20,232 --> 00:51:21,263
Thank you very much for that.

706
00:51:21,263 --> 00:51:24,664
Well, I'm looking forward to the audio book and I'll get that before Christmas.

707
00:51:24,664 --> 00:51:27,615
Yeah, that's my intention as well.

708
00:51:27,756 --> 00:51:28,856
Lovely.

709
00:51:29,916 --> 00:51:31,537
Robin, thank you so much for this.

710
00:51:31,537 --> 00:51:33,048
And yeah, one last question.

711
00:51:33,048 --> 00:51:38,411
What is your superpower that you have got from getting your body back?

712
00:51:38,411 --> 00:51:40,051
I think empowerment.

713
00:51:40,872 --> 00:51:47,273
It's what we've kind of been talking about throughout our conversation today, how we can
empower ourselves.

714
00:51:47,273 --> 00:51:53,265
And I think that's what I really want to share as well, that we all have this ability.

715
00:51:53,265 --> 00:51:55,656
There's nothing special about me.

716
00:51:56,436 --> 00:52:05,538
For every single one of us, our body is just wanting to share with us, wanting to empower
us, wanting to say, we've got this.

717
00:52:05,698 --> 00:52:08,179
It's just a matter of getting curious.

718
00:52:08,483 --> 00:52:11,109
paying attention, being conscious.

719
00:52:11,109 --> 00:52:12,049
Brilliant.

720
00:52:12,309 --> 00:52:13,120
So important.

721
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:13,950
Yeah.

722
00:52:13,950 --> 00:52:20,032
Well, Robin, thank you ever so much for today, for your time, your wisdom and those little
gems.

723
00:52:20,032 --> 00:52:24,573
And I am so taking with permission.

724
00:52:24,834 --> 00:52:30,906
Plot twist as an excuse for things going not right or wrong as for things going.

725
00:52:30,906 --> 00:52:31,286
Yeah.

726
00:52:31,286 --> 00:52:32,056
Plot twist.

727
00:52:32,056 --> 00:52:32,956
Yep.

728
00:52:33,056 --> 00:52:33,917
Love it.

729
00:52:33,917 --> 00:52:34,307
Yeah.

730
00:52:34,307 --> 00:52:35,291
Thank you ever so much.

731
00:52:35,291 --> 00:52:38,459
wasn't mine to start with, so you're most welcome.

732
00:52:38,459 --> 00:52:40,436
Well, I really appreciate your time today.

733
00:52:40,436 --> 00:52:41,897
So thank you ever so much

734
00:52:41,897 --> 00:52:46,586
Thank you Hamish, it's been wonderful to chat with you and to share a little bit about
this.

735
00:52:46,888 --> 00:52:47,690
My passion.

736
00:52:48,375 --> 00:52:52,735
Thank you for listening to this episode of The Crucible: Conversations for the Curious.

737
00:52:52,735 --> 00:53:01,375
If these powerful stories of transformation resonated with you, be sure to like, subscribe
and share this show with anyone who you think could do with a dose of inspiration for

738
00:53:01,375 --> 00:53:02,315
their own journey.

739
00:53:02,315 --> 00:53:08,895
I would really appreciate it if you could make any comments on your favourite podcast
platform as well, that helps me reach more people.

740
00:53:08,895 --> 00:53:12,355
All the important links and information are in the show notes below.

741
00:53:12,355 --> 00:53:15,090
Thank you very much for listening and catch up with you soon.