WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:00.870 --> 00:00:06.600 Welcome to Resilience Talk hosted by Paul Spencer of Second Nature Solutions. 00:00:07.020 --> 00:00:07.860 Let's dive in. 00:00:08.548 --> 00:00:11.008 Brandon Giella: Hello and welcome back to another episode 00:00:11.008 --> 00:00:13.258 of the Resilience Talk podcast. 00:00:13.288 --> 00:00:19.528 Today we are talking about our faith series as it relates to togetherness. 00:00:20.098 --> 00:00:24.508 So Paul, you work with families, you work with family businesses, 00:00:24.568 --> 00:00:26.728 and you know that togetherness. 00:00:27.598 --> 00:00:31.288 Is an extremely important component of being successful 00:00:31.318 --> 00:00:33.088 in living a life well lived. 00:00:33.718 --> 00:00:37.978 So I wanna start with this question that I think would be really great for folks 00:00:37.978 --> 00:00:42.838 to consider in the background as you're listening to this episode, which is, 00:00:43.018 --> 00:00:47.908 what are you doing today that your great, great grandchildren we'll thank you for. 00:00:49.588 --> 00:00:53.098 So with that, Paul, what is togetherness? 00:00:53.098 --> 00:00:53.968 What do you mean by that? 00:00:55.193 --> 00:00:59.783 Paul Spencer: Well, togetherness is, uh, something that we feel, 00:01:00.683 --> 00:01:06.803 uh, when we are living our lives, so we have a sense of how isolated 00:01:06.803 --> 00:01:09.293 we are or how together we are. 00:01:09.293 --> 00:01:11.603 And I'm, and let's just think about it, about it from our 00:01:11.603 --> 00:01:15.503 family and when we're together. 00:01:16.858 --> 00:01:22.558 That means that, um, not that we agree on everything, but it means 00:01:22.558 --> 00:01:25.768 that we have an understanding about how to communicate with each other, 00:01:26.428 --> 00:01:30.718 how to make decisions together, how to have difficult conversations with 00:01:30.718 --> 00:01:36.658 each other, how to go places with each other, not physically places. 00:01:36.688 --> 00:01:40.108 I mean, it could be going on vacation and going and visiting things, but 00:01:40.108 --> 00:01:42.688 it's really moving the family forward. 00:01:44.548 --> 00:01:49.288 And who are we and what are we about? 00:01:49.378 --> 00:01:50.818 What's our family purpose? 00:01:50.818 --> 00:01:52.558 What's our family thread? 00:01:53.518 --> 00:01:58.793 And when we think about our family thread, we have to look backwards and like. 00:01:59.413 --> 00:02:02.263 Like when, um, ancestry.com 00:02:02.263 --> 00:02:02.893 first came out, 00:02:03.043 --> 00:02:03.373 Brandon Giella: Hmm. 00:02:03.463 --> 00:02:03.823 Mm-hmm. 00:02:04.273 --> 00:02:05.623 Paul Spencer: really, cool concept. 00:02:05.623 --> 00:02:08.263 And people, I think it's, it's fun actually. 00:02:08.263 --> 00:02:12.403 It's a lot of fun and some, some families are stronger in knowing their 00:02:12.403 --> 00:02:16.433 family history, like with photos and stories and all that than others. 00:02:17.833 --> 00:02:24.463 Um, but when you're able to understand your family thread and who you come from, 00:02:24.463 --> 00:02:28.423 where you come from, uh, even culturally. 00:02:28.903 --> 00:02:33.943 What's in your background that forms who you are, right? 00:02:33.943 --> 00:02:37.813 We always tell the stories of where I grew up. 00:02:38.083 --> 00:02:39.283 Where, where did you grow up? 00:02:39.378 --> 00:02:42.133 Are you, are you from, right? 00:02:42.163 --> 00:02:43.063 Are you from Texas? 00:02:43.063 --> 00:02:44.683 Did you grow up in in Dallas? 00:02:44.863 --> 00:02:46.363 No, I grew up Right. 00:02:46.693 --> 00:02:50.563 I know where I grew up and I'll tell the story of my family. 00:02:51.193 --> 00:02:53.203 And so that's togetherness. 00:02:53.293 --> 00:02:58.333 That, that whole thing is the, is the big umbrella above. 00:02:58.738 --> 00:03:06.148 Who we are as a family, and hopefully we all strive to be together as a 00:03:06.148 --> 00:03:09.718 family and to go somewhere as a family. 00:03:10.468 --> 00:03:13.588 And that's difficult to do. 00:03:14.067 --> 00:03:17.398 It's really hard to do and it takes a lot of discipline. 00:03:17.398 --> 00:03:20.067 Like the things that we've already been talking about does take a lot of 00:03:20.067 --> 00:03:25.977 discipline and sometimes members of our family aren't too excited about. 00:03:26.323 --> 00:03:27.763 The discipline of being together. 00:03:27.763 --> 00:03:30.553 And it doesn't have to be something stuffy, it doesn't mean you 00:03:30.553 --> 00:03:32.893 have to have family meetings, although those are helpful. 00:03:33.162 --> 00:03:37.722 But a family meeting doesn't have to mean like a professor lecture. 00:03:38.472 --> 00:03:40.003 Uh, it could be something fun. 00:03:40.003 --> 00:03:41.412 It could be a cookout, right? 00:03:41.412 --> 00:03:46.783 It could be a retreat, it could be a, uh, a family gathering, right? 00:03:46.903 --> 00:03:49.393 Uh, a family reunion. 00:03:49.903 --> 00:03:53.503 And it can be something fun that fits again into your family. 00:03:54.088 --> 00:03:55.948 Story, your family thread, right? 00:03:55.948 --> 00:04:01.168 You may have families who love getting dressed up and go into 00:04:01.168 --> 00:04:04.978 the fancy restaurant and they love, they love the ballroom. 00:04:05.608 --> 00:04:10.348 And you may have families that like shorts and sandals and, uh, getting 00:04:10.348 --> 00:04:13.108 out the briquettes and grilling right. 00:04:13.108 --> 00:04:15.688 Hot dogs and burgers, and that's good enough. 00:04:16.303 --> 00:04:17.713 Going fishing, right? 00:04:18.072 --> 00:04:23.713 We all have an understanding of what our family in, uh, what our family thread is 00:04:23.923 --> 00:04:26.053 and what it means for us to be together. 00:04:26.773 --> 00:04:30.733 Uh, one other thing to that too is, um, and I've gotten this 'cause 00:04:30.733 --> 00:04:36.103 I've been talking about families and charters and togetherness for. 00:04:36.673 --> 00:04:38.143 Uh, several years now. 00:04:38.413 --> 00:04:43.903 And when I say the things I just said, some people, even just by looking 00:04:43.903 --> 00:04:48.433 at me in their body language, I can tell that they vehemently disagree 00:04:48.453 --> 00:04:48.783 Brandon Giella: Hmm. 00:04:49.333 --> 00:04:52.513 Paul Spencer: with what I'm saying about the importance of family and 00:04:52.933 --> 00:04:55.453 the the joy you get from family. 00:04:55.453 --> 00:05:00.643 And if we're together and we can move forward with family, then that's good. 00:05:01.273 --> 00:05:04.363 Um, and so I asked them about those things and they, their 00:05:04.363 --> 00:05:05.923 family stories are not fun. 00:05:07.728 --> 00:05:08.018 Yeah. 00:05:08.023 --> 00:05:12.523 And they, um, maybe don't even have a family. 00:05:13.393 --> 00:05:13.903 I don't know. 00:05:13.903 --> 00:05:18.463 My dad, I never knew him, and my mom really struggled 00:05:18.463 --> 00:05:21.463 with alcohol and my siblings. 00:05:21.643 --> 00:05:24.043 We raised ourselves, right? 00:05:24.163 --> 00:05:26.683 Or maybe I didn't even know my parents. 00:05:26.683 --> 00:05:32.143 I was raised in a foster home and I was raised in multiple foster 00:05:32.143 --> 00:05:34.573 homes, and I don't even know what it means to have a family. 00:05:35.608 --> 00:05:44.008 Um, other stories are more, um, I was abused as a child, or, um, 00:05:44.008 --> 00:05:50.128 my family, um, is a long line of alcoholics and so I can't see 00:05:50.128 --> 00:05:53.098 where family is even remotely good. 00:05:53.443 --> 00:05:53.743 Brandon Giella: Hm. 00:05:54.118 --> 00:05:58.558 Paul Spencer: Um, so it's not to say that, uh, those things don't 00:05:58.558 --> 00:06:00.358 exist and everything's Pollyanna. 00:06:01.093 --> 00:06:02.353 Because those do things. 00:06:02.353 --> 00:06:03.733 Those things do exist. 00:06:04.123 --> 00:06:06.823 And that's what we've talked about before is faith and hope. 00:06:07.903 --> 00:06:08.203 Right? 00:06:08.743 --> 00:06:13.333 And even looking back at our threads, our family story may not 00:06:13.333 --> 00:06:17.683 be pleasant to think about, might not be fun, it might be hurtful. 00:06:18.313 --> 00:06:25.063 Um, but we all have an opportunity to go somewhere different if we want, right? 00:06:25.093 --> 00:06:28.273 We can change the path of our family. 00:06:29.068 --> 00:06:31.858 Um, we can change the direction, the place it's going. 00:06:32.308 --> 00:06:37.408 And just going back to the, the question that you asked, we right now, 00:06:37.408 --> 00:06:42.958 in this moment in time, can change the, the history, the forward looking 00:06:42.958 --> 00:06:45.928 back history of our grandkids, kids. 00:06:46.588 --> 00:06:46.858 Right. 00:06:47.488 --> 00:06:51.928 And uh, and they may not really know who Paul was right, or who 00:06:51.928 --> 00:06:57.748 Brandon was or who Sarah was, but we were the ones who intentionally 00:06:57.748 --> 00:07:02.848 said, we're breaking that family history and we're gonna be wholesome. 00:07:03.118 --> 00:07:08.278 We're gonna get, um, a different human capital within our family, 00:07:08.278 --> 00:07:12.358 a different social capital and a different spiritual capital. 00:07:12.358 --> 00:07:15.148 And we're gonna go a different place and. 00:07:16.213 --> 00:07:21.283 There's a guarantee that all of our families, every single 00:07:21.283 --> 00:07:23.413 one of us have that thread. 00:07:24.103 --> 00:07:28.243 Some of us may not know it because that history is too far back. 00:07:28.723 --> 00:07:29.023 Right. 00:07:29.683 --> 00:07:34.363 Um, but we've all had family members in our lineage who have made that 00:07:34.363 --> 00:07:37.123 decision and changed our family history. 00:07:37.273 --> 00:07:42.343 And we've also had people in our family lines who took something 00:07:42.343 --> 00:07:43.903 that maybe was on a good path. 00:07:44.323 --> 00:07:45.973 And turned it to a different place. 00:07:46.573 --> 00:07:53.173 So, uh, again, the, like what we always say, creating some awareness, creating 00:07:53.173 --> 00:07:59.743 some understanding, um, that we are here today in order to affect the 00:07:59.743 --> 00:08:04.963 children, our children's children in our families that we will never meet. 00:08:05.473 --> 00:08:05.683 Brandon Giella: Hmm. 00:08:06.223 --> 00:08:08.743 Paul Spencer: And those are the sacrifices, those are the things that 00:08:08.743 --> 00:08:13.123 we're up to today, is to set them on fire. 00:08:13.273 --> 00:08:13.633 Right? 00:08:14.263 --> 00:08:14.623 Right. 00:08:14.923 --> 00:08:17.623 Uh, from a, from a gospel perspective, right. 00:08:17.923 --> 00:08:21.823 Set them on fire, give them the light and let those families, 00:08:22.063 --> 00:08:23.563 uh, be a big part of the world. 00:08:24.043 --> 00:08:24.223 Brandon Giella: Hmm. 00:08:25.933 --> 00:08:29.593 In therapy circles, if you're, you know, starting with a new 00:08:29.593 --> 00:08:32.923 therapist or, you know, reading books, trying to do some deep soul 00:08:32.923 --> 00:08:36.268 work, one of the earliest questions is, what's your family of origins? 00:08:37.212 --> 00:08:38.923 That's the phrase, your family of origin. 00:08:39.492 --> 00:08:40.513 Where do you come from? 00:08:40.513 --> 00:08:46.123 Because that so deeply impacts who you are as a person today, your, your, 00:08:46.483 --> 00:08:51.223 you know, parents and their struggles or successes and, you know, even, uh, 00:08:51.223 --> 00:08:54.133 there's a lot of language around like generational sin, you know, trying to 00:08:54.133 --> 00:08:56.083 break that curse and things like that. 00:08:56.623 --> 00:09:01.093 Um, I, I get this sense, um, that. 00:09:02.398 --> 00:09:07.138 We are living in this kind of more modern time where family, especially 00:09:07.138 --> 00:09:12.958 like the nuclear family or the family unit, is deemphasized at the expense of 00:09:13.048 --> 00:09:15.448 independence and freedom and movement. 00:09:15.448 --> 00:09:18.058 You know, having a lot of like mobility and career mobility and 00:09:18.058 --> 00:09:19.978 experiences, whatever that looks like. 00:09:20.878 --> 00:09:25.018 And in the midst of that, I think we're having a lot of division 00:09:25.018 --> 00:09:28.558 Society league, uh, culturally, you know, maybe there's some. 00:09:28.873 --> 00:09:33.433 Family members that are moving in the, you know, Trump administration 00:09:33.433 --> 00:09:37.633 direction or others are moving in the, uh, progressive political direction 00:09:37.633 --> 00:09:39.013 and there's like this tension. 00:09:40.063 --> 00:09:44.683 Do you sense that, do, do you see that kind of arc as, as a 00:09:44.713 --> 00:09:46.483 kind of the history of families? 00:09:46.483 --> 00:09:50.353 Do you see that kind of like how families have changed over the past 00:09:50.353 --> 00:09:53.563 several decades or like, what's your comment on that and how, how can we kind 00:09:53.563 --> 00:09:55.003 of place ourselves in history there? 00:09:55.933 --> 00:10:01.423 Paul Spencer: Um, so when we think about the fourth turning, um. 00:10:02.248 --> 00:10:05.158 And then the George Friedman book, which I always forget the name of that, but, 00:10:05.278 --> 00:10:07.708 uh, and just look about the patterns 00:10:08.038 --> 00:10:08.368 Brandon Giella: Mm-hmm. 00:10:08.548 --> 00:10:09.208 Paul Spencer: the world. 00:10:10.288 --> 00:10:16.018 I would say that we're on the back end of that whole individualism 00:10:16.228 --> 00:10:18.418 and the splitting of the family. 00:10:18.868 --> 00:10:23.638 And we're, and we're in this time where, again, like of course, like 00:10:23.638 --> 00:10:27.688 what we've always been talking about is the, the age of turbulence, right? 00:10:27.688 --> 00:10:28.618 The age of change. 00:10:28.618 --> 00:10:31.198 And things are, things are always things. 00:10:31.798 --> 00:10:36.448 Con, even today, right now, as we sit here, are just crazy. 00:10:36.868 --> 00:10:37.738 Things are crazy. 00:10:38.488 --> 00:10:42.568 Um, and that's gonna happen, that's gonna keep going for some 00:10:42.568 --> 00:10:46.378 time, like maybe a decade or less. 00:10:47.428 --> 00:10:54.688 Um, but I would say that it feels to me based, just based on my observations 00:10:54.688 --> 00:10:59.188 and the people I talk to, that family is becoming more and more important. 00:10:59.733 --> 00:10:59.853 Brandon Giella: Hmm. 00:11:00.478 --> 00:11:05.188 Paul Spencer: Faith is becoming more and more important and there are 00:11:05.188 --> 00:11:11.128 more and more people talking about it and asking questions about it 00:11:11.728 --> 00:11:18.778 and setting real, tangible, personal and family goals around it, both in 00:11:18.778 --> 00:11:21.718 those categories, faith and family. 00:11:22.588 --> 00:11:25.468 Um, so I, I feel like we're at a place where. 00:11:26.443 --> 00:11:31.903 That is resetting and we're having kind of a, um, re-enlightenment 00:11:31.903 --> 00:11:33.673 area, I guess you might call it. 00:11:33.973 --> 00:11:41.593 And I would say that the, um, the Gen Z maybe might, might be leading some 00:11:41.593 --> 00:11:44.563 of that and a little, there's a little bit of that in the fourth turning. 00:11:44.563 --> 00:11:51.343 I forget exactly, um, how he describes it, but he does, he does talk about in 00:11:51.343 --> 00:11:54.223 those turns, meaning in those generations. 00:11:55.078 --> 00:11:57.778 There is a spiritual awakening, 00:11:58.078 --> 00:11:58.408 Brandon Giella: Yeah. 00:11:58.588 --> 00:11:59.458 Paul Spencer: so to speak. 00:11:59.548 --> 00:12:03.148 Um, and it normally comes out of the crisis, which we're in that 00:12:03.148 --> 00:12:05.338 cri what he labels as a crisis, 00:12:05.368 --> 00:12:05.698 Brandon Giella: Yeah. 00:12:07.708 --> 00:12:10.858 I could see that there's a, there was a, I think it was in The Guardian a 00:12:10.858 --> 00:12:15.178 few weeks ago that talked about how the church in the UK is, is sent, is 00:12:15.178 --> 00:12:18.598 getting this kind of revival like, like church attendance is way up, 00:12:18.598 --> 00:12:20.428 especially in younger demographics. 00:12:20.518 --> 00:12:25.768 And I believe either Gallup or Barna really some similar data here in the UK 00:12:25.798 --> 00:12:28.948 among younger demographics, which is a complete opposite of what people were 00:12:28.948 --> 00:12:30.568 predicting just even a few years ago. 00:12:31.273 --> 00:12:33.913 Um, and I, I think it is some of that sense that people are 00:12:33.913 --> 00:12:35.503 wanting to be more rooted. 00:12:35.833 --> 00:12:40.423 Even in my own generation, I'm in, I'm a mid thirties, two kids and my friends 00:12:40.423 --> 00:12:46.483 and peers, colleagues are giving up career trajectories and moving and 00:12:46.483 --> 00:12:49.393 all that kind of stuff to stay more rooted, you know, have more of a local 00:12:49.393 --> 00:12:51.883 community and, and create stronger bonds. 00:12:52.648 --> 00:12:57.313 Paul Spencer: I think, uh, yeah, uh, I think that matches to what I would. 00:12:58.123 --> 00:12:59.173 What I'm observing. 00:12:59.203 --> 00:13:04.633 And then I would also say too, even for me, uh, just the prediction of 00:13:04.783 --> 00:13:10.738 becoming more local, more localized, um, because of the technology that we have. 00:13:11.683 --> 00:13:15.583 The advancements that we're like, you and I only know each other because of 00:13:15.583 --> 00:13:17.353 this thing that we're talking on here. 00:13:17.353 --> 00:13:17.533 Brandon Giella: I know. 00:13:17.533 --> 00:13:17.833 Yeah. 00:13:18.762 --> 00:13:20.773 Paul Spencer: Uh, otherwise we would never know each other. 00:13:21.372 --> 00:13:25.063 Um, so we have this, this way of communicating and, and meeting 00:13:25.063 --> 00:13:29.742 each other and connecting and then having face-to-face conversations. 00:13:29.742 --> 00:13:33.673 Not only do we have we met, but we know each other. 00:13:34.363 --> 00:13:37.002 Uh, and we know what what we each other looks like. 00:13:37.108 --> 00:13:37.528 Brandon Giella: Mm-hmm. 00:13:38.353 --> 00:13:39.853 Paul Spencer: How each other behaves. 00:13:39.943 --> 00:13:44.623 Um, just as if, obviously it's not as awesome as being in person, 00:13:44.983 --> 00:13:46.453 but it's pretty high fidelity. 00:13:47.233 --> 00:13:50.743 Um, and so that that technology is giving us an opportunity 00:13:50.743 --> 00:13:52.303 that we don't have to move. 00:13:52.963 --> 00:13:55.663 You don't have to move to Cincinnati to work for p and g anymore. 00:13:56.803 --> 00:14:00.733 Right, and you don't have to move to Brussels to continue to work for p and g. 00:14:01.093 --> 00:14:06.973 I don't know, maybe they still do, but, uh, those things, the, the idea 00:14:06.973 --> 00:14:09.793 of, uh, even for the sales guy, right? 00:14:09.793 --> 00:14:15.013 If you, if you think about even 10 years ago, 20 years ago for sure, if you were 00:14:15.013 --> 00:14:20.713 part of any kind of business and you were in the sales group, you, uh, almost 00:14:20.713 --> 00:14:22.933 80, 90% of what you did was travel. 00:14:23.763 --> 00:14:23.883 Brandon Giella: Hmm. 00:14:24.133 --> 00:14:26.953 Paul Spencer: On the plane or in the car because you had to 00:14:26.953 --> 00:14:29.263 go meet people to make sales. 00:14:29.263 --> 00:14:30.703 You couldn't do it right on the phone. 00:14:30.703 --> 00:14:31.003 Right. 00:14:31.423 --> 00:14:33.433 Or through mail or email. 00:14:34.363 --> 00:14:40.603 Um, and a lot of that is reducing, which then reduces our demand to get a, 00:14:40.723 --> 00:14:47.983 uh, a job that we're seeking or a new career advancement or a new promotion. 00:14:48.373 --> 00:14:50.113 And I can still do it remotely. 00:14:50.368 --> 00:14:50.758 Brandon Giella: Yeah. 00:14:51.028 --> 00:14:51.418 Yeah. 00:14:51.478 --> 00:14:52.288 Paul Spencer: Uh, another thing. 00:14:52.288 --> 00:14:52.528 Cool. 00:14:52.528 --> 00:14:53.698 That's, that's happening too. 00:14:53.698 --> 00:14:59.458 And this kind of started with the whole, uh, organic food movement, um, and the 00:14:59.458 --> 00:15:03.688 ta uh, the farm to table concept and the farmer's markets, which are really big. 00:15:03.748 --> 00:15:07.228 I don't, are those, I mean, those are all over the place here. 00:15:07.228 --> 00:15:08.128 I would imagine there's same 00:15:08.233 --> 00:15:08.563 Brandon Giella: Yeah. 00:15:08.968 --> 00:15:14.548 Paul Spencer: Um, so the, the whole idea of industrial farming and, 00:15:15.058 --> 00:15:19.438 um, even like the industrial, um. 00:15:20.533 --> 00:15:24.013 Chicken, right beef and all of those things, those are becoming 00:15:24.013 --> 00:15:25.992 more and more localized as well 00:15:26.063 --> 00:15:26.353 Brandon Giella: Yeah. 00:15:26.683 --> 00:15:29.742 Paul Spencer: because the technology is advancing for that to happen 00:15:30.268 --> 00:15:30.628 Brandon Giella: Yeah. 00:15:30.763 --> 00:15:34.543 Paul Spencer: and for it to have a higher quality, for it to be smaller footprint. 00:15:34.573 --> 00:15:40.122 And so it's possible for us to just live in a certain community and have all the 00:15:40.122 --> 00:15:45.013 things that we need, plus the things that are coming outside of our community. 00:15:45.553 --> 00:15:45.763 Brandon Giella: Yeah. 00:15:45.853 --> 00:15:46.183 Paul Spencer: Right. 00:15:46.273 --> 00:15:52.303 Um, so anyway, uh, there is a new world we're gonna experience 00:15:52.333 --> 00:15:54.132 and the timing of that. 00:15:54.132 --> 00:15:59.502 I don't know what the timing of that, but that's sooner than, it's closer than not. 00:15:59.508 --> 00:15:59.928 Brandon Giella: Mm-hmm. 00:16:00.223 --> 00:16:02.502 Paul Spencer: Um, and that's going to, that, that gives us 00:16:02.502 --> 00:16:05.803 all an opportunity to build a community, to build a family, right? 00:16:05.803 --> 00:16:08.023 And then we don't get splintered apart 'cause we never see 00:16:08.023 --> 00:16:08.923 each other, all those kinds of 00:16:09.078 --> 00:16:10.573 Brandon Giella: Yeah, Yeah, yeah. 00:16:10.578 --> 00:16:13.363 I'm, I'm sensing that even in the business world where folks are 00:16:13.363 --> 00:16:17.263 wanting because of, let's say like the fast food of business accelerated 00:16:17.263 --> 00:16:19.003 by ai and there's all kinds of. 00:16:19.618 --> 00:16:22.348 You know, social media, tearing people apart, whatever. 00:16:22.348 --> 00:16:25.078 There's like so many conversations that go into that, but I'm, see, I'm feeling 00:16:25.078 --> 00:16:28.888 this or I'm, I'm reading and seeing and, and go seeing what's going on in 00:16:28.888 --> 00:16:31.013 the business world where people are wanting to return to like a smaller. 00:16:31.708 --> 00:16:35.878 Higher quality, craftsman, artisanal kind of business, if you will. 00:16:35.938 --> 00:16:39.178 Um, even the, the kind of things that they produce that's neither here nor there. 00:16:39.178 --> 00:16:42.598 That's a whole tangent you and I could talk about for hours about AI and return 00:16:42.598 --> 00:16:44.488 to office debates and all kinds of stuff. 00:16:44.848 --> 00:16:49.348 But, um, but let's say, okay, so somebody is seeing the importance of. 00:16:50.233 --> 00:16:53.953 Let's say, uh, creating this kind of family charter of sorts, you know, 00:16:53.953 --> 00:16:57.013 thinking about the mission of the family, thinking about 200 years from 00:16:57.013 --> 00:17:00.913 now, what do I want my great, great grandkids to, to experience and know 00:17:00.913 --> 00:17:05.083 of me or of our family, which is so important, like I said, about like the 00:17:05.083 --> 00:17:09.163 art of living and being a, a successful, you know, quote unquote successful, 00:17:09.168 --> 00:17:15.283 um, you know, kind of healthy, thriving person, flourishing, shalom kind of life. 00:17:15.492 --> 00:17:16.242 What do we do? 00:17:16.303 --> 00:17:17.653 You know, let's say I make that decision. 00:17:17.653 --> 00:17:19.663 I want to do that, you know, today. 00:17:20.248 --> 00:17:26.818 Wednesday in September, I'm ready to like not have the generational 00:17:26.818 --> 00:17:30.328 sins of my past or the family of origin story that has shaped me. 00:17:30.328 --> 00:17:31.978 I want to go somewhere different. 00:17:32.728 --> 00:17:37.678 You've got some, some kind of tenants or themes, um, uh, around like the four 00:17:37.678 --> 00:17:43.468 threads of the enterprise are, are, can you talk about those and is that 00:17:43.468 --> 00:17:47.308 the path forward for wanting to create this kind of family going forward? 00:17:48.598 --> 00:17:49.168 Paul Spencer: Uh, yeah. 00:17:49.198 --> 00:17:54.808 So the threads of the family are, are, um, more my constructs. 00:17:54.958 --> 00:17:56.998 So you may end up with something different. 00:17:57.208 --> 00:18:00.928 Um, but I think that these are relevant for everybody. 00:18:01.198 --> 00:18:04.168 And so the four of those are, are faith in God. 00:18:05.068 --> 00:18:06.328 And what does, why is that? 00:18:06.388 --> 00:18:08.988 Well, that's a family vision that transcends. 00:18:09.858 --> 00:18:12.072 and Enhances many generations, right? 00:18:12.072 --> 00:18:17.113 So it's not about today, it's not about being in the moment, right? 00:18:17.623 --> 00:18:18.703 Being in the present. 00:18:19.363 --> 00:18:25.633 Um, it's about understanding that, that we are beyond ourselves, right? 00:18:25.903 --> 00:18:30.253 God transcends everything and time is infinite, right? 00:18:30.283 --> 00:18:32.413 But we're just like one little tiny speck of, 00:18:32.592 --> 00:18:33.043 of that. 00:18:33.493 --> 00:18:37.092 So in order to really understand that. 00:18:37.753 --> 00:18:43.153 What you do today has an impact a hundred years from now or 200 years from now, 00:18:43.483 --> 00:18:48.163 or our family's children's, children's children who we will never meet. 00:18:48.582 --> 00:18:51.312 You have to have, you have to believe in transcendence. 00:18:51.822 --> 00:18:52.812 You have to believe in God. 00:18:53.263 --> 00:18:54.193 So that's the first one. 00:18:54.523 --> 00:18:55.903 The second one is togetherness. 00:18:56.293 --> 00:19:01.093 Which is the topic of today, and really that's a family that makes to, makes 00:19:01.093 --> 00:19:03.103 decisions and works together, right? 00:19:03.103 --> 00:19:04.543 That's what we strive for. 00:19:05.083 --> 00:19:11.083 Um, because when we're together, we go places when we're separate, 00:19:11.563 --> 00:19:14.083 this is not much different than we talk about in business. 00:19:14.323 --> 00:19:14.658 If we can get. 00:19:16.168 --> 00:19:20.128 Thinking about the, the business owner or maybe the business executive where 00:19:20.128 --> 00:19:23.937 they're used to kind of really white knuckle in it, meaning they hold on to 00:19:23.937 --> 00:19:29.908 the decisions and the conversation is, uh, what, what would you rather have 00:19:30.058 --> 00:19:34.437 you and your two trusted advisors in the back room making all the decisions? 00:19:34.738 --> 00:19:40.738 Or would you rather have a hundred people, your employees making small 00:19:40.738 --> 00:19:42.778 decisions on continual improvement? 00:19:43.048 --> 00:19:44.488 Which one is gonna take you? 00:19:44.863 --> 00:19:45.523 Places. 00:19:46.603 --> 00:19:50.263 The second one is, and you may not believe it, but it's guaranteed the second 00:19:50.468 --> 00:19:50.888 Brandon Giella: Mm-hmm. 00:19:51.583 --> 00:19:51.853 Paul Spencer: right. 00:19:52.153 --> 00:19:53.353 So it's the same thing here. 00:19:53.773 --> 00:19:58.333 Uh, togetherness is a, is a really important part of the family. 00:19:58.663 --> 00:20:03.133 To make those decisions together, but also for the longevity aspect of it. 00:20:03.133 --> 00:20:08.053 If we want longevity across generations, we have to understand what togetherness 00:20:08.053 --> 00:20:13.753 means and how we model it for our family so that our kids understand 00:20:13.753 --> 00:20:15.253 what it means to be together 00:20:16.738 --> 00:20:16.978 Brandon Giella: I, 00:20:17.023 --> 00:20:19.483 Paul Spencer: they can, they can take those practices because that 00:20:19.483 --> 00:20:21.853 becomes their thread going forward. 00:20:21.853 --> 00:20:23.503 And they teach their kids, their kids, their kids. 00:20:24.058 --> 00:20:26.608 Brandon Giella: this is a, a point you could Google later, uh, 00:20:26.608 --> 00:20:30.418 if you're listening, um, is the, the principle of subsidiarity 00:20:30.838 --> 00:20:32.368 from Catholic social teaching. 00:20:33.028 --> 00:20:36.268 If you're, uh, this is a new one that I discovered recently, but 00:20:36.268 --> 00:20:41.248 that phrase or that, that, that term subsidiarity is to move that decision 00:20:41.248 --> 00:20:46.258 making power down to the lowest, uh, uh, unit of the organization or the 00:20:46.258 --> 00:20:49.498 team or the family or something, which I've found actually really helpful. 00:20:49.828 --> 00:20:50.248 Paul Spencer: Yeah. 00:20:50.338 --> 00:20:50.643 That's great. 00:20:51.463 --> 00:20:52.903 So that's togetherness. 00:20:52.993 --> 00:20:55.453 The last two is learning, right? 00:20:55.602 --> 00:20:58.723 So, uh, so this is the tagline with that. 00:20:58.723 --> 00:21:02.713 A family that seeks to be lifelong learners who share and 00:21:02.713 --> 00:21:04.332 act on what they learn, right? 00:21:04.332 --> 00:21:06.133 It's just another ingredient. 00:21:06.943 --> 00:21:08.233 in to going somewhere. 00:21:09.163 --> 00:21:12.643 If we're not really learning and we're just drinking beers in the 00:21:12.643 --> 00:21:16.753 backyard and grilling burgers and watching football games, that's okay. 00:21:17.263 --> 00:21:18.193 But what are we learning? 00:21:19.062 --> 00:21:21.403 How is that, how is that affecting our family over the long 00:21:21.403 --> 00:21:21.763 term? 00:21:22.572 --> 00:21:28.963 And then the last one is flourishing, and this is one where, um, we can 00:21:28.963 --> 00:21:31.123 do the first three fairly well. 00:21:31.723 --> 00:21:36.072 The last one is really hard because what, that's what that means is that 00:21:36.793 --> 00:21:43.513 each individual in our family is thriving and flourishing, which means that if we 00:21:43.543 --> 00:21:45.588 know or understand, one of us is not. 00:21:46.873 --> 00:21:53.562 Then we, again, we come together, we have faith in God, we learn and we decide 00:21:53.953 --> 00:21:58.723 how do we enhance each other's lives, even for those who are not flourishing. 00:21:59.923 --> 00:22:05.413 Um, and that's hard too because a lot of times, especially for the bigger 00:22:05.413 --> 00:22:10.832 families who have a, a strong family history and there's always one or 00:22:10.832 --> 00:22:13.612 two outliers in the current family. 00:22:14.053 --> 00:22:14.383 Right. 00:22:14.563 --> 00:22:18.343 They don't wanna be in the family cookie business. 00:22:19.213 --> 00:22:21.943 They're not, they're not interested in manufacturing 00:22:22.423 --> 00:22:23.593 and they're never going to be. 00:22:24.313 --> 00:22:29.113 But, uh, and so are they really enjoying themselves when the family 00:22:29.113 --> 00:22:35.713 gets together and talks about recipes or the new manufacturing equipment? 00:22:35.773 --> 00:22:36.253 No. 00:22:36.553 --> 00:22:41.833 So how do we include them and then how do we help them thrive and flourish with some 00:22:41.833 --> 00:22:43.093 of the things that they're interested in? 00:22:44.608 --> 00:22:46.408 So those are, those are the four threads. 00:22:47.068 --> 00:22:49.198 Brandon Giella: So getting more practical. 00:22:49.198 --> 00:22:53.488 What, what, how have you seen this work out maybe in your own life or in 00:22:53.488 --> 00:22:57.778 your client's lives or, or maybe some more practical, like, what do I do? 00:22:57.808 --> 00:23:01.378 You know, let's say like, I make this decision next week, next month, next 00:23:01.378 --> 00:23:05.578 year, you know, January, I'm making a commitment to, to changing my trajectory. 00:23:06.508 --> 00:23:06.628 Yeah. 00:23:06.688 --> 00:23:07.438 What do you recommend? 00:23:07.438 --> 00:23:10.048 Like, is, is like maybe the, um. 00:23:11.293 --> 00:23:13.663 Maybe like a family devotional. 00:23:13.723 --> 00:23:15.133 It would be a great idea. 00:23:15.133 --> 00:23:18.223 Or like set up like a Sunday dinner, you know, with everybody. 00:23:18.223 --> 00:23:21.312 Like I know some folks that they do Sunday dinner or they do Friday 00:23:21.312 --> 00:23:24.223 movie night, you know, and that's just what they do as a family. 00:23:24.223 --> 00:23:27.733 And create that kind of like a kind of ritual or, or um, 00:23:27.793 --> 00:23:28.963 kind of tradition together. 00:23:28.963 --> 00:23:29.263 Is it? 00:23:29.293 --> 00:23:30.043 Things like that. 00:23:30.043 --> 00:23:31.393 I mean, how do you, how do you break that down? 00:23:31.723 --> 00:23:32.322 Paul Spencer: Yeah, that's it. 00:23:32.322 --> 00:23:35.622 So if you're starting from zero. 00:23:36.778 --> 00:23:43.288 Which I would say that, uh, for me, and I'm a Gen Xer, and I would say 00:23:43.348 --> 00:23:51.028 just, um, as a stereotype of our generation, my generation is the 00:23:51.028 --> 00:23:56.008 whole individualism is, is very strong during our time of living, right? 00:23:56.338 --> 00:23:58.108 So we did whatever we wanted to do. 00:23:58.828 --> 00:24:04.918 Um, and if there were any family rituals or traditions, we tended to, eh. 00:24:05.233 --> 00:24:05.533 Brandon Giella: Yeah. 00:24:06.598 --> 00:24:10.528 Paul Spencer: So those, those things don't really exist, I would say 00:24:10.528 --> 00:24:12.628 for, for my generation as a whole. 00:24:13.018 --> 00:24:13.288 Right? 00:24:13.648 --> 00:24:18.028 So I would say for me, a lot of those things have to be started from scratch. 00:24:18.883 --> 00:24:22.093 So, and let me ca caveat all that. 00:24:22.243 --> 00:24:26.953 That doesn't mean that I had a poor family history and tradition and all of that. 00:24:27.133 --> 00:24:29.353 It just wasn't a cohesive togetherness. 00:24:29.503 --> 00:24:31.963 That's how I would describe my family. 00:24:31.963 --> 00:24:32.413 There wasn't a 00:24:32.457 --> 00:24:32.908 Brandon Giella: Same. 00:24:33.388 --> 00:24:33.808 Same. 00:24:33.812 --> 00:24:33.822 Yeah. 00:24:33.943 --> 00:24:37.543 Paul Spencer: And so, so if I'm starting from there, then I start, 00:24:37.543 --> 00:24:39.613 I, you just start really small. 00:24:39.763 --> 00:24:44.263 Like you don't need to create this massive thing like we do Friday pizza night. 00:24:44.848 --> 00:24:49.798 So normally we have maybe a sports game or, uh, maybe just the kids are off 00:24:49.798 --> 00:24:54.868 school or they get off school, and then we'll, we will find a new pizza place 00:24:54.868 --> 00:24:58.618 and we go to all different pizza places, not just the same place every time. 00:24:58.618 --> 00:25:00.898 And we don't order it in, we go out somewhere. 00:25:01.738 --> 00:25:02.848 So something like that. 00:25:03.298 --> 00:25:07.498 Um, now if you wanna get more formal into it, um. 00:25:07.828 --> 00:25:10.888 There are just some different questions that you could ask yourself. 00:25:10.918 --> 00:25:13.828 Like, what is, what is it you that you strive for? 00:25:14.248 --> 00:25:16.888 Like, what is, what is the mission of your family? 00:25:17.398 --> 00:25:20.878 And you, this is, this can actually be a lot of fun, uh, depending 00:25:20.878 --> 00:25:24.598 on who you are, but you can look backwards into your family. 00:25:24.598 --> 00:25:29.458 And if I look backwards into my family, um, I had a lot of entrepreneurs 00:25:29.758 --> 00:25:33.208 in my family, so we had, um. 00:25:33.612 --> 00:25:39.163 We had, uh, out in Wyoming, um, they were, they owned, um, 00:25:39.612 --> 00:25:43.092 um, grocery stores in Wyoming. 00:25:43.273 --> 00:25:48.372 Um, and then, uh, there were ranchers in my family, sheep 00:25:48.433 --> 00:25:51.163 ranchers out in Idaho and Utah. 00:25:51.822 --> 00:25:55.273 Uh, we had a Greek, uh, restaurant. 00:25:56.263 --> 00:25:57.763 In my family, right? 00:25:57.793 --> 00:25:59.053 This is not me, 00:25:59.113 --> 00:26:01.033 this is like in the history, right? 00:26:01.513 --> 00:26:07.783 Um, and my grandpa Spencer was a, uh, out of the basement gunsmith 00:26:07.933 --> 00:26:11.323 and ran a little business there and had all these different things. 00:26:11.323 --> 00:26:16.213 And so I think if you were to look back and with specific things and 00:26:16.213 --> 00:26:20.833 then kinda open up the aperture, you'd say, oh, look, it's a history of. 00:26:21.193 --> 00:26:22.968 People creating businesses, right? 00:26:22.973 --> 00:26:25.423 I didn't know any of that when I started my business. 00:26:25.423 --> 00:26:26.293 I just did it. 00:26:26.803 --> 00:26:32.443 Um, but would that have changed my trajectory or, um, what I had 00:26:32.443 --> 00:26:33.403 done, if I would've known that? 00:26:33.403 --> 00:26:34.183 I don't know. 00:26:34.183 --> 00:26:35.503 But I think it helps. 00:26:35.683 --> 00:26:39.103 I think it helps to understand some, I've had this conversation with lots 00:26:39.103 --> 00:26:42.133 of different families and some of 'em will look back and say, geez, 00:26:42.133 --> 00:26:44.353 we're, we're a family of priests. 00:26:44.592 --> 00:26:44.862 Brandon Giella: Hmm. 00:26:45.943 --> 00:26:46.333 Paul Spencer: Um. 00:26:47.143 --> 00:26:54.373 Not necessarily Catholic priests, but just ministers and um, and evangelists. 00:26:54.433 --> 00:26:58.812 And not to mean that they started churches, but that's just who they were. 00:26:59.352 --> 00:27:04.003 And you kind of look and, and there's like, I can count 5, 6, 7, 8 of them 00:27:04.753 --> 00:27:08.683 that were, that were in the ministry, just call 'em in the ministry. 00:27:08.683 --> 00:27:12.463 And so that could be a thread too, in your family and you're like, oh yeah. 00:27:12.582 --> 00:27:16.332 And that's another, I think an important ingredient is that. 00:27:16.873 --> 00:27:21.613 Our family threads, uh, are more aligned than not. 00:27:21.648 --> 00:27:21.868 Brandon Giella: Hmm. 00:27:21.873 --> 00:27:22.003 Hmm. 00:27:23.713 --> 00:27:27.013 Paul Spencer: And so it does mean something when you can look back. 00:27:27.013 --> 00:27:31.303 And also part of my family history is military like, like a lot of my family 00:27:31.303 --> 00:27:33.583 members in the past were in the Air Force. 00:27:34.543 --> 00:27:39.553 And so does that uh, mean that I went in the Air Force? 00:27:39.553 --> 00:27:39.883 No. 00:27:40.093 --> 00:27:44.203 But it does, it does create a thread on what we do on Memorial Day. 00:27:44.833 --> 00:27:45.283 Brandon Giella: Yeah. 00:27:45.822 --> 00:27:49.362 Paul Spencer: As a family, and it does create a, an interest in, 00:27:49.842 --> 00:27:55.303 uh, history of World War II and the Korean War and Vietnam, and 00:27:55.963 --> 00:27:57.463 those are threads of our family. 00:27:58.453 --> 00:28:04.602 Um, and so anyway, that's a fun thing to kinda look backwards and then you get 00:28:04.602 --> 00:28:09.223 to decide what that means for you, and then that's the vision of your family. 00:28:09.223 --> 00:28:10.423 So going forward. 00:28:11.353 --> 00:28:12.973 What is the vision of your family? 00:28:12.973 --> 00:28:16.273 What's the mission of your family that you strive for? 00:28:16.783 --> 00:28:17.053 Right? 00:28:17.053 --> 00:28:22.093 And you can put those things down, um, and then you can see what that looks like. 00:28:22.093 --> 00:28:23.443 What are the baby steps to that? 00:28:23.503 --> 00:28:30.253 The atomic habits of togetherness for your family to achieve whatever your 00:28:30.253 --> 00:28:34.513 family mission is, or what your family story is that you want in the future. 00:28:36.237 --> 00:28:41.187 Brandon Giella: Like you, I, I had parents grew up in the sixties. 00:28:41.187 --> 00:28:45.717 They were born in the sixties and they, it didn't create that kind of. 00:28:46.663 --> 00:28:49.453 Tradition or kind of ritual cohesion, if you will. 00:28:49.843 --> 00:28:51.913 And so I do have to create that from scratch. 00:28:51.913 --> 00:28:56.863 And I have this colleague who is big on family longevity and cohesion. 00:28:56.893 --> 00:29:01.903 And he asks his kids every day they're driving to school, who are you? 00:29:02.563 --> 00:29:06.583 And they have to recite this thing about who they are as their their family member. 00:29:07.153 --> 00:29:11.323 And it's led me to do that with my kids, where every night I pray over them that 00:29:11.323 --> 00:29:13.243 they would be healthy, wise and strong. 00:29:13.903 --> 00:29:15.163 That's what I want them to know about. 00:29:15.733 --> 00:29:21.523 Being in this family, and I wish I we're strong enough where I could create some 00:29:21.523 --> 00:29:26.323 kind of like Family Crest, but I'm solidly middle class and that will not happen. 00:29:26.323 --> 00:29:31.843 But monogram towels is about as close as I'll get, but I do think 00:29:31.843 --> 00:29:36.313 that kind of like clear mission and vision of who you are and what you're 00:29:36.313 --> 00:29:38.173 about as a family is so, so key. 00:29:38.698 --> 00:29:41.638 Paul Spencer: Yeah, I think there's something there too as well, which 00:29:41.638 --> 00:29:46.018 I've experienced on my own, meaning kind of thinking about this and 00:29:46.018 --> 00:29:51.898 doing some of these things is, um, a lot of times there's not enough, 00:29:52.438 --> 00:29:56.308 um, strength or muscle memory 00:29:56.458 --> 00:29:56.878 Brandon Giella: Mm-hmm. 00:29:58.468 --> 00:30:02.848 Paul Spencer: me or in my family to really achieve the mission. 00:30:02.968 --> 00:30:03.258 Brandon Giella: Yeah. 00:30:03.263 --> 00:30:04.218 Yeah, I feel that. 00:30:04.873 --> 00:30:08.263 Paul Spencer: So I, I think what you just said is, is a perfect example 00:30:08.263 --> 00:30:13.393 is sometimes we can observe friends and families and they're like, and 00:30:13.393 --> 00:30:16.183 you're like, oh my gosh, so amazing. 00:30:16.543 --> 00:30:20.983 Like, that is really so fruitful and so like, almost to a jealous, like a 00:30:21.073 --> 00:30:23.293 Brandon Giella: I was about to say, it's a little envious in there. 00:30:23.323 --> 00:30:23.593 Yes. 00:30:23.593 --> 00:30:24.733 I feel that all the time. 00:30:24.733 --> 00:30:25.513 Felt that this morning? 00:30:25.753 --> 00:30:30.823 Paul Spencer: I I think but though for us to realize is their family 00:30:30.823 --> 00:30:32.593 story and history is different. 00:30:32.803 --> 00:30:33.193 Brandon Giella: Yes. 00:30:33.523 --> 00:30:33.853 Paul Spencer: Right. 00:30:33.913 --> 00:30:38.233 And it's, it's grown over and over and over. 00:30:38.233 --> 00:30:40.903 And their muscle memory is what creates that. 00:30:41.082 --> 00:30:41.443 Brandon Giella: Yeah. 00:30:41.833 --> 00:30:47.863 Paul Spencer: And so I think there's something for us and everybody, right, 00:30:47.863 --> 00:30:54.973 depending on where you are, um, is to give yourself a little grace and then to 00:30:54.973 --> 00:31:01.603 also understand that even just what you just said, uh, praying over your children. 00:31:02.338 --> 00:31:04.648 For strength, wisdom and 00:31:05.348 --> 00:31:07.288 Brandon Giella: Healthy wanna be healthy, wise, and strong. 00:31:07.588 --> 00:31:12.958 Paul Spencer: health, healthy, wise, and strong, um, is the first part 00:31:13.168 --> 00:31:15.178 right of creating that muscle memory. 00:31:15.358 --> 00:31:18.688 And you may not, your family may not reach its vision or mission 00:31:19.102 --> 00:31:19.183 Brandon Giella: hmm 00:31:19.618 --> 00:31:23.008 Paul Spencer: for two or three generations, but they wouldn't have 00:31:23.008 --> 00:31:28.138 been able to do it without you starting something again, the atomic habits. 00:31:28.513 --> 00:31:29.623 The working out. 00:31:30.193 --> 00:31:34.813 I can't, I can't, I can't beef up, I can't get the muscles right 00:31:35.098 --> 00:31:35.968 Brandon Giella: No Gaines. 00:31:35.983 --> 00:31:38.503 Paul Spencer: go to the gym and if I'm not going to the gym. 00:31:38.563 --> 00:31:38.863 Right. 00:31:39.283 --> 00:31:39.583 Right. 00:31:39.583 --> 00:31:43.993 So all those things I think are all part of just understanding where we 00:31:43.993 --> 00:31:45.888 are and where we fit with all that. 00:31:46.438 --> 00:31:46.618 Brandon Giella: Yep. 00:31:47.158 --> 00:31:47.338 Yeah. 00:31:47.338 --> 00:31:49.593 Atomic Habit says just start by putting your shoes on in the morning. 00:31:49.843 --> 00:31:50.778 Paul Spencer: Yeah, that's right. 00:31:51.058 --> 00:31:52.258 Brandon Giella: And it's like, I can do that. 00:31:52.288 --> 00:31:54.658 I can put my shoes on, and then it goes from there. 00:31:54.658 --> 00:31:55.978 Which is, which is great. 00:31:56.878 --> 00:31:57.118 Okay. 00:31:57.118 --> 00:31:59.518 Well, what, what should, what would you wanna leave listeners with? 00:31:59.518 --> 00:32:01.228 What's, what's something that, um, 00:32:01.303 --> 00:32:02.743 Paul Spencer: Uh, yeah, I think I have two things. 00:32:02.743 --> 00:32:03.523 I have two things. 00:32:03.763 --> 00:32:10.093 So another, another important thing to, to really get a grasp on is 00:32:10.093 --> 00:32:15.523 that, um, family business is also a lot of talk about family assets. 00:32:16.378 --> 00:32:19.468 And so we hold really dear the business that we have. 00:32:19.498 --> 00:32:20.818 'cause that's our family asset. 00:32:21.448 --> 00:32:25.858 And I learned this early on with second nature is sometimes families will 00:32:25.858 --> 00:32:30.088 hold onto the fa, the business much tighter than they will the family. 00:32:30.843 --> 00:32:31.063 Brandon Giella: Yes. 00:32:32.187 --> 00:32:35.308 Paul Spencer: Um, and so anyway, what came, what came outta that 00:32:35.308 --> 00:32:39.028 is just my realization is that there's actually two family assets. 00:32:39.718 --> 00:32:43.498 There's the members of your family, which is the human capital, right? 00:32:43.498 --> 00:32:45.508 And then the time you have with them. 00:32:45.823 --> 00:32:46.183 Brandon Giella: Mm 00:32:46.783 --> 00:32:49.783 Paul Spencer: Family members and time, those are your family assets. 00:32:49.963 --> 00:32:54.463 So if you consider that as, these are the two tangible things that I 00:32:54.523 --> 00:33:02.683 own within my family, my children, my, uh, immediate family, right? 00:33:02.923 --> 00:33:05.353 Uh, mom and dad in-laws. 00:33:06.253 --> 00:33:08.713 Uh, and then you go to your extended family, right? 00:33:08.713 --> 00:33:10.543 And even your neighbors as well. 00:33:10.543 --> 00:33:12.973 You can, you can include them into your family, right? 00:33:13.243 --> 00:33:14.593 But those are the things that. 00:33:15.328 --> 00:33:18.778 Propel longevity within your family. 00:33:18.957 --> 00:33:19.228 Brandon Giella: Hmm. 00:33:19.708 --> 00:33:23.098 Paul Spencer: Um, and you only have a finite amount of time, 00:33:23.578 --> 00:33:27.238 and really, you only have a finite amount of family members. 00:33:27.958 --> 00:33:32.908 And so having an understanding of who the members are in your family, what are their 00:33:32.908 --> 00:33:36.688 God-given talents and how do we create a. 00:33:37.543 --> 00:33:42.823 Togetherness, knowing what makes up each one of us to go forward and 00:33:42.823 --> 00:33:46.483 propel the longevity of the family in the time that we have together. 00:33:46.947 --> 00:33:47.068 Brandon Giella: Hmm. 00:33:47.203 --> 00:33:50.743 Paul Spencer: So that's, that's the one thing that I think is important 00:33:50.743 --> 00:33:51.943 for everybody to understand. 00:33:52.543 --> 00:33:56.173 Um, and then I just wanna read something that I think is, um, 00:33:57.853 --> 00:34:00.193 that's important here too, is 00:34:02.353 --> 00:34:03.493 I'm, I'm gonna read this. 00:34:03.823 --> 00:34:06.733 We must change our family mindset to be eternal. 00:34:07.333 --> 00:34:07.663 Brandon Giella: Hmm. 00:34:07.918 --> 00:34:10.018 Paul Spencer: To embrace eternal hope. 00:34:11.668 --> 00:34:16.018 Our daily lives are for the children of our families that we will never meet. 00:34:20.127 --> 00:34:23.157 So everything that we're doing right now that you and I are talking about 00:34:23.967 --> 00:34:26.818 and putting our words onto tape. 00:34:28.542 --> 00:34:29.473 Brandon Giella: I don't know what that is, Paul. 00:34:29.473 --> 00:34:30.612 That's before my time. 00:34:31.542 --> 00:34:34.332 Paul Spencer: I know I love, I love our generational gaps. 00:34:34.332 --> 00:34:38.172 I was listening to, uh, I was this sidetracked, but I listened to the, to 00:34:38.172 --> 00:34:41.773 something the other day and you were correcting me on, on doom scrolling, 00:34:41.832 --> 00:34:43.033 and I was saying infinite scrolling. 00:34:43.033 --> 00:34:43.903 You're like, doom scrolling. 00:34:44.533 --> 00:34:47.832 So anyway, uh, it's, I am gonna read it again. 00:34:47.863 --> 00:34:52.243 Our daily lives are for the children of our families that we will never meet 00:34:52.558 --> 00:34:52.858 Brandon Giella: Hmm. 00:34:54.283 --> 00:34:54.672 Paul Spencer: and. 00:34:56.413 --> 00:35:00.073 The importance of that is that when we are in the moment and the 00:35:00.073 --> 00:35:05.053 things that we're doing, uh, we, it doesn't mean we can't have fun. 00:35:05.173 --> 00:35:06.223 We enjoy ourselves. 00:35:06.223 --> 00:35:07.843 We have joy in our life. 00:35:08.263 --> 00:35:09.313 We have happiness. 00:35:09.372 --> 00:35:10.303 That's what we strive for. 00:35:10.303 --> 00:35:11.233 We don't always get it. 00:35:12.013 --> 00:35:17.473 Um, we live a virtuous life, but we know that the things and the decisions 00:35:17.473 --> 00:35:22.093 that I'm making today to pray over my children, to give them that muscle 00:35:22.093 --> 00:35:24.823 memory for the longevity of my family. 00:35:25.377 --> 00:35:29.247 Will not be for them, it will be for their children's children 00:35:29.688 --> 00:35:29.768 Brandon Giella: Hmm. 00:35:30.598 --> 00:35:33.658 Paul Spencer: and we will never meet them, not in this world. 00:35:35.368 --> 00:35:36.928 Um, and then one other thing too. 00:35:37.138 --> 00:35:42.598 So each family member provides unique talents that propels the family longevity. 00:35:43.408 --> 00:35:48.898 And ultimately we make decisions together today that have Im implications 00:35:48.898 --> 00:35:51.808 for our family in the next C century. 00:35:52.153 --> 00:35:52.393 Brandon Giella: Hmm. 00:35:53.848 --> 00:35:54.268 Paul Spencer: So. 00:35:54.613 --> 00:35:56.893 Uh, so he asked, what does it look like? 00:35:56.893 --> 00:35:58.153 What's the practical part? 00:35:58.633 --> 00:36:01.542 I know I tend to think in big philosophy, big things. 00:36:02.292 --> 00:36:02.803 Um, 00:36:04.813 --> 00:36:10.063 but you, you get this into your brain and you spend some time devoted to it 00:36:10.813 --> 00:36:14.292 and you pray and you let God talk to you. 00:36:14.593 --> 00:36:16.153 He will tell you what it means for you. 00:36:16.603 --> 00:36:16.843 Brandon Giella: Hmm. 00:36:18.103 --> 00:36:21.792 Paul Spencer: Um, and even if you're a little dry in that area, um. 00:36:22.228 --> 00:36:24.657 You'll noodle on it and you'll, you'll figure out what are those, 00:36:24.688 --> 00:36:28.617 those little pieces for you to create the, the family charter. 00:36:28.947 --> 00:36:31.228 The family longevity for your, for your family. 00:36:32.568 --> 00:36:33.443 Brandon Giella: Just put your shoes on. 00:36:33.957 --> 00:36:34.678 Paul Spencer: Just put your shoes 00:36:34.752 --> 00:36:36.178 Brandon Giella: That's right. 00:36:36.178 --> 00:36:39.957 There's this, uh, term I heard recently called cathedral thinking, and that 00:36:39.957 --> 00:36:43.948 was the idea that you get these group of people to build something that 00:36:43.948 --> 00:36:45.298 they will not see the completion of. 00:36:46.162 --> 00:36:46.383 Paul Spencer: Mm. 00:36:46.747 --> 00:36:48.388 Brandon Giella: And I find that so interesting when you think about 00:36:48.388 --> 00:36:51.447 Notre Dame or any major cathedral took hundreds of years to build. 00:36:51.867 --> 00:36:57.537 I'm laying stones and building a column or a door that I will never walk into, 00:36:57.957 --> 00:37:00.087 but I'm laying the stones that'll, that 00:37:00.207 --> 00:37:01.317 Paul Spencer: That is beautiful. 00:37:01.377 --> 00:37:02.487 That's exactly it. 00:37:03.327 --> 00:37:04.138 That's exactly it. 00:37:04.138 --> 00:37:04.647 That is, 00:37:06.957 --> 00:37:08.727 uh, that's that eternal thinking. 00:37:09.298 --> 00:37:14.667 And I would say, we were talking about there the times today and individuals 00:37:14.667 --> 00:37:17.277 and maybe the family's not as important. 00:37:17.697 --> 00:37:18.117 Um. 00:37:18.688 --> 00:37:20.457 That is something that we struggle with today. 00:37:20.457 --> 00:37:23.697 I would say in our society, everything is immediate. 00:37:24.237 --> 00:37:29.758 We have the technology that it's now, now, now, um, and we really struggle 00:37:29.758 --> 00:37:34.978 to understand that the storms that we're having, the things that are 00:37:34.978 --> 00:37:38.848 going on in our world, like what's it going to be like in 10 years? 00:37:38.848 --> 00:37:42.718 What are the things that I'm doing today that will make 10 years 00:37:42.718 --> 00:37:45.957 from now great or at least better. 00:37:46.813 --> 00:37:50.563 Um, and we, a lot of people really struggle just for tomorrow. 00:37:51.883 --> 00:37:54.613 Brandon Giella: One could argue that this podcast is that very thing. 00:37:54.792 --> 00:38:01.093 We've got 36 episodes now of your brain on tape that your grandchildren 00:38:01.093 --> 00:38:02.773 could listen to, you know, and learn. 00:38:02.773 --> 00:38:04.483 Like, who, who was my grandfather? 00:38:04.483 --> 00:38:05.143 What was he like? 00:38:05.143 --> 00:38:06.643 What did he think about, what did he care about? 00:38:06.943 --> 00:38:08.563 And I, I think it's such a beautiful thing. 00:38:09.298 --> 00:38:10.678 Paul Spencer: I think about that a lot actually. 00:38:10.813 --> 00:38:11.143 Brandon Giella: Hmm. 00:38:11.698 --> 00:38:15.448 Paul Spencer: There's so many cool things where, I'll go back on the things that 00:38:15.448 --> 00:38:22.348 I've written, like this topic I wrote this podcast topic I wrote back in early 21, 00:38:22.613 --> 00:38:23.032 Brandon Giella: Mm-hmm. 00:38:23.292 --> 00:38:23.712 Mm-hmm. 00:38:24.058 --> 00:38:27.358 Paul Spencer: maybe even, probably all really started in 19, but then 00:38:27.358 --> 00:38:30.688 I put it all together in 21 and then I go back and I read it and I'm 00:38:30.688 --> 00:38:31.798 like, oh yeah, that's kind of cool. 00:38:32.622 --> 00:38:36.883 And then even just listening to some, this is not just about me, but for 00:38:36.883 --> 00:38:44.383 all of us, there are things that we have in our minds that, um, that when 00:38:44.383 --> 00:38:46.752 we do get 'em on paper or on tape, 00:38:48.972 --> 00:38:51.462 that uh, we forget about 'em. 00:38:52.027 --> 00:38:52.317 Brandon Giella: Yeah. 00:38:52.573 --> 00:38:53.832 Paul Spencer: And then we go back and we're like, oh, 00:38:53.832 --> 00:38:54.912 geez, that guy's brilliant. 00:38:55.093 --> 00:38:56.562 Like, what, what happened to that 00:38:56.712 --> 00:38:57.397 Brandon Giella: I am so smart. 00:38:57.852 --> 00:38:58.212 Paul Spencer: Yeah. 00:38:58.917 --> 00:39:03.117 Uh, but those are, those are a nice compendium of really, of 00:39:03.117 --> 00:39:05.637 who you are and your thoughts, and those things are fleeting. 00:39:06.027 --> 00:39:07.707 So a lot of people are very good at journaling. 00:39:07.797 --> 00:39:08.667 I am not. 00:39:09.237 --> 00:39:11.667 Um, but those, those are, they're fleeting. 00:39:11.787 --> 00:39:17.277 Um, and that's another part of the family thread history is how do you record 00:39:17.907 --> 00:39:19.287 some of the things that you're up to? 00:39:19.602 --> 00:39:19.823 Brandon Giella: That's right. 00:39:20.667 --> 00:39:21.118 That's right. 00:39:21.357 --> 00:39:21.687 Yeah. 00:39:21.687 --> 00:39:23.638 I've known folks that do a family podcast. 00:39:23.638 --> 00:39:26.638 Literally, they get their grandfather, who's 90 to 00:39:26.638 --> 00:39:29.787 just sit and talk for a little while to get out his stories and, and put 'em on 00:39:29.787 --> 00:39:31.198 tape so they can listen to him later. 00:39:31.557 --> 00:39:34.258 Or journaling, you know, many, many people that are, are big 00:39:34.258 --> 00:39:35.817 into entrepreneurship and success. 00:39:35.817 --> 00:39:37.287 And how do you, how do you live a good life? 00:39:37.678 --> 00:39:41.488 Journaling is like one of the top things, especially gratitude journaling. 00:39:41.638 --> 00:39:44.787 Just write, write down your thinking every single day. 00:39:45.537 --> 00:39:47.278 And, uh, it's, it's really powerful. 00:39:47.517 --> 00:39:48.837 Paul Spencer: Yeah, we talked about that last time. 00:39:48.837 --> 00:39:50.217 It's, yeah, it is. 00:39:50.217 --> 00:39:51.117 Uh, yeah. 00:39:51.387 --> 00:39:54.327 That gets you out of the moment, out of the, the rush. 00:39:55.152 --> 00:39:55.662 The rush. 00:39:55.662 --> 00:39:58.722 The rush, and you have to kind of, we talk about this as well, right? 00:39:59.172 --> 00:40:04.512 The ability to slow down and in order to really write those things down and 00:40:04.662 --> 00:40:08.232 like, you can't just do it in two seconds and then head out the door, right? 00:40:08.232 --> 00:40:12.852 You have to spend 20 minutes and reflect and then put, put it on paper. 00:40:12.957 --> 00:40:13.347 Brandon Giella: That's right. 00:40:13.617 --> 00:40:13.947 That's right. 00:40:15.162 --> 00:40:16.303 Well, Paul, thank you. 00:40:16.332 --> 00:40:21.462 This, again, is just amazing wisdom that I hope people take away and 00:40:21.462 --> 00:40:25.153 like really get it down deep because it will change your life and it 00:40:25.153 --> 00:40:26.412 will change you for the better. 00:40:26.442 --> 00:40:29.982 Change your kids' lives, your grandkids lives, your great grandkids lives. 00:40:29.982 --> 00:40:31.122 It's, it's really key. 00:40:31.392 --> 00:40:31.573 So 00:40:31.647 --> 00:40:31.917 Paul Spencer: Yeah. 00:40:31.917 --> 00:40:39.357 And if, yeah, and if you've been blessed with, uh, a family muscle memory, family 00:40:39.357 --> 00:40:43.617 story, and a family thread that you're proud of and that, uh, you kind of 00:40:43.617 --> 00:40:47.937 reflect on and you say, geez, it is, I never really appreciated it, but I. 00:40:48.822 --> 00:40:51.672 Now that I see it, I do really appreciate it. 00:40:52.332 --> 00:40:54.012 Then it's up to you, right? 00:40:54.222 --> 00:40:54.912 Keep it going, 00:40:55.512 --> 00:40:57.492 and to improve it or advance it 00:40:58.212 --> 00:40:58.602 Brandon Giella: That's right. 00:40:58.722 --> 00:40:59.892 Paul Spencer: as you see fit, right? 00:40:59.922 --> 00:41:01.512 As God has you in store, right? 00:41:01.512 --> 00:41:05.022 He's given you gifts to keep that thing going in your own way. 00:41:06.807 --> 00:41:09.297 Brandon Giella: And if you're also blessed with an internet connection, 00:41:09.297 --> 00:41:11.577 go to Second Nature Solutions. 00:41:11.577 --> 00:41:16.617 Sign up for our newsletter and re respond back to Paul, this monthly newsletter that 00:41:16.617 --> 00:41:21.117 you have with some ideas, some stories, some things that you're adopting and, 00:41:21.207 --> 00:41:22.797 and implementing in your own family. 00:41:23.157 --> 00:41:24.927 And, uh, find Paul on LinkedIn. 00:41:25.287 --> 00:41:26.997 Chat with him, share his stories. 00:41:27.807 --> 00:41:28.017 Paul Spencer: Yeah. 00:41:28.017 --> 00:41:29.037 I love to hear from you guys. 00:41:29.037 --> 00:41:30.957 It's fun to, fun to hear what, what you guys are up to. 00:41:32.772 --> 00:41:35.022 Brandon Giella: Well, Paul, thanks as always, and we'll 00:41:35.022 --> 00:41:35.952 see you on the next episode. 00:41:36.942 --> 00:41:37.303 Paul Spencer: All right. 00:41:37.332 --> 00:41:37.633 See ya. 00:41:37.633 --> 00:41:37.903 Bye.