What happens to your sense of self when you become a parent? In this raw and reflective conversation, Mandy and Matthew share their experiences of identity transformation, relationship dynamics, and the profound disorientation that comes with a new baby, all through the prism of the classic 80’s movie: Parenthood.
From the fantasy of parenting versus the reality of sleepless nights to the invisible mental load that often falls on mothers, this episode explores the emotional and practical challenges that accompany early parenthood. The hosts discuss how becoming parents changed their relationships with their partners, the struggle to maintain individual identity while caring for an infant, and why the phrase “sleep when the baby sleeps” feels impossible when your mind won’t stop racing.
Questions we explored:
- How does becoming a parent challenge your sense of identity and who you thought you were?
- What’s the difference between the fantasy of parenting and the reality of caring for a newborn?
- Why does the mental load of parenting often fall disproportionately on mothers, even in equitable partnerships?
- How can partners navigate different parenting styles and instincts in those early weeks?
- What does it mean to grieve the loss of your pre-parent self while also loving your new role?
- Why is “sleep when the baby sleeps” such frustrating advice for new parents?
- How do you maintain your relationship with your partner when you’re both exhausted and touched out?
- What support systems actually help new parents versus the advice that falls flat?
What is Once and Future Parent?
Three parents. Three generations. One endlessly humbling journey.
Welcome to Once and Future Parent, where the parenting timeline gets the roundtable it deserves. Join hosts Matthew Fox (brand new parent), Mandy Kaplan (mom to a high-schooler), and Pete Wright (father of mostly-launched grown kids) as they gather to compare notes from three different stages of family life.
From the sleepless nights of preparing for a newborn, through the chaos of early adolescence, to the bittersweet art of letting go, each episode tackles the lessons, laughs, and late-night Googling that come with parenting at any age. Expect a mix of heartfelt honesty, media-fueled nostalgia, and just enough intergenerational snark to keep it relatable.
We’ll talk about everything from screen-time philosophies and failed movie nights, to the last bedtime story and the awkward magic of being parented by your own kid. Whether you’re building a nursery or texting your college student emojis you don’t fully understand, you’ll find real talk, hard-won wisdom, and a reminder that none of us are in this alone.