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Have you ever heard someone in your family or even a friend/coworker say, "It's not me, it’s you.” Or even shift blame and fault onto you when you were just a bystander? This is a classic tactic that narcissists do to shift the ‘bad’ spotlight away from them and onto you. They might even use misdirection to change the topic entirely so that they confuse you and put you in a defensive state. People with narcissistic traits or even full-on narcissistic disorder are unable to acknowledge their own faults or misgivings. They refuse to see what they’re doing is the cause of their pain and discomfort, so they use projection to shift their hurt/dissatisfaction onto you. When a narcissist is in projection mode, communication is almost impossible. Your attempt at ‘being reasonable’ is completely moot. A lot of narcissists have self-esteem issues and a low sense of self-worth. If they make you feel small or invalidated, it’s only their way of coping (and projecting!) their own inferiority onto you. Even though it hurts in the moment, it can be comforting to know that this isn’t a personal attack on you or even a reflection of your own character; it’s theirs! Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com
Have you ever heard someone in your family or even a friend/coworker say, "It's not me, it’s you.” Or even shift blame and fault onto you when you were just a bystander? This is a classic tactic that narcissists do to shift the ‘bad’ spotlight away from them and onto you. They might even use misdirection to change the topic entirely so that they confuse you and put you in a defensive state.
People with narcissistic traits or even full-on narcissistic disorder are unable to acknowledge their own faults or misgivings. They refuse to see what they’re doing is the cause of their pain and discomfort, so they use projection to shift their hurt/dissatisfaction onto you. When a narcissist is in projection mode, communication is almost impossible. Your attempt at ‘being reasonable’ is completely moot.
A lot of narcissists have self-esteem issues and a low sense of self-worth. If they make you feel small or invalidated, it’s only their way of coping (and projecting!) their own inferiority onto you. Even though it hurts in the moment, it can be comforting to know that this isn’t a personal attack on you or even a reflection of your own character; it’s theirs!
Continue Your Growth Journey:
Kamini Wood works with high achievers on letting go of stress, overwhelm and anxiety that comes with trying to do everything, and trying to do it all perfectly