well hello All You Beautiful
[Music]
People you know what time it
is ladies and gents Guys and Dolls and
everyone in
between gather around get you something
real nice to sip on and comfy to slip
on cuz it's time for smut Club here's
your hosts Chelsey and
[Applause]
Hannah hey everybody and welcome to smut
club I'm Hannah and I'm Chelsea and this
is the podcast where we sometimes Day
drink sometimes don't today is
definitely a day drinking day yep and
review uh romance novels of varying
caliber yes yes mhm yeah and share them
with each other yes and then share them
with you um but only if want them I
guess if you don't just turn it
off what
the yeah do that but stick around cuz
we're pretty funny I think yeah I like
to think we're a catch
yeah oh my God okay
so I was speaking to a client and I said
something about my husband like I said
my husband and I had something for
dinner or whatever like
whatever and this person goes hold up
you're married and I was like yeah and I
like pointed to my ring I was like I
wear my ring every day like yeah I'm
married and he went no no no no no no
you're married to a
man what like flabbergasted in such a
way that like he genuinely was like no
you're not and I was like yeah I am and
he was like like okay so like does your
husband
know and I was like no what and he goes
you know and like did a little shake
with his hand and I was
like yeah no
what
what does your husband know that I've
assumed you were a single lesbian this
entire time I've known you I was like
what is happening right now believe it
or not Matt doesn't know any of I was
like oh my God oh my God so immediately
after that which it was you know it was
especially funny because I was wearing a
shirt that day that somebody had told me
was looking very queer and I was like
cool cool cool I love that aesthetic for
me so I just leaned into it apparently
and so I've told everyone everyone I
know now knows that like this guy
genuinely was like that can't be true I
was like what have I
done well also like not even like a like
what vibe are you putting out in the
world because I've known you for several
years so I know the general vibe that
you're putting out in the world but I'm
just
like fascinated with the lens through
which he has experienced you yeah me too
and also it just like dumbfounds me the
things that people feel comfortable
saying to other people that they
don't have that level of relationship
with no I was like uh quite frankly I
thought I overstepped with my massage
therapist earlier this week because he
was telling me he like works like a
full-time job elsewhere as like a
director of operations but he's like
yeah I work like a 90 hour week last
week and so I was like okay so we need
to talk about boundary
setting CH see why is he working a
second job poor guy does he just like it
uh I think that's just like a bigger
a bigger got that we are not paid to
analyze is what you're telling me that I
also think that like with anything right
you're like okay I want to start
something that like might not be the
most lucrative from the jump so I have
to support myself while I build that but
then like the thing that you're
supporting yourself with also needs time
and attention right so then I think and
can easily take over
1,000% so that's my rough Assumption of
what's happening in his life but none of
this is relevant to what we're here to
talk about tonight what are we reviewing
today wow starting strong okay today we
are reviewing the XEX by Aaron Sterling
okay um that I believe is uh an alias
for Rachel
Hawkins oh okay
yes the only reason I learned that is
because I had Googled the XX and it was
like by Rachel Hawkins and I was like no
you silly [ __ ] the other giant book
with the same
cover silly and then I was like oh maybe
this has a chance for me to learn
something new sorry I called you a silly
[ __ ]
Google we can be open to new experiences
right we can learn all of the things um
okay
so this book is
like just such a cozy fall read oh I
want to read it on my front porch with a
cup of like mold CER
M when the leaves start turning on a
chilly night with the fire going sort of
like that's nice yes um so that's just
not that that's relevant for anyone else
but I need everyone to know the
environment and WEA I was longing
for this is the vibe yes
1,000% so we open in the prologue with
viven she goes by Vivy um she is a witch
she is 19 years old and she is drunk as
a skunk in the the bathtub crying
because she just had her heart broken a
by Rees that's how you if your name is
spelled RH Ys that's Reese right yes as
a child phonetically I [ __ ] that up
and ever since I've doubted myself even
though I've since corrected but I still
have that moment where I'm like was
9-year-old Chelsea right
was she no she really she
wasn't like I think that's also what
happens when you read a lot as a kid and
like there like words that you're like
no one taught me how to pronounce this
I'm just like read it you didn't read it
right I know what it means but I can't
say it yes yeah so viven just had her
heartbroken by reys
penhollow uh he is his family is one of
the founding families of graves Glenn
Graves Glenn Georgia
this book takes place in Georgia is this
like a savannah area or like no it's
like supposed to be in like the North
Georgia Mountains area yeah but at one
point they are like and she crunched
through the snow in winter and I was
like no she didn't that's not Georgia
that oh I was like we must be in
different georgas cuz that's don't know
her we haven't had snow in 3 years right
yeah even I feel like there was a weird
year where we had snow that like hit in
Atlanta and like in Dunwoody and we
didn't get it further north yep and I
was like but I would like that just a
little bit just a just a little yeah
even though I work remotely so no one
will give a [ __ ] and I don't you don't
get snow days as an adult no no no you
don't um okay so Vivian and Reese had
been having this fling for the summer
and it was like all well and good and as
they're like laying in bed and they're
Afterglow he's like yeah I'm going to
have to go back to Wales to sort things
out with my betrothed and oh no yep and
that was viv's response and she was like
[ __ ] you and the horse you rode in on
I'm
out and so he's leaving to go back to
Wales she has called it because she did
not know he had a betrothed this whole
time where they've been like [ __ ]
like bunnies for 3 months straight right
and so now she is drunk in the tub
Conjuring like the smell of his cologne
with her magic and her cousin gets home
and it's like oh my God you're giving me
a headache will you
stop like this is
pathetic and she's just like drinking
vodka and like tons of candles lit and
just like a complete mess and so her
cousin is like let's just curse the
[ __ ] and they're like haha okay
so they like she she gets out of the tub
and they like set the candle and get all
like the the salt Circle all created but
then they're like throwing out
ridiculous like may your hair never flop
and do the thing again like may you
always think the clitoris is a quarter
inch away from where it actually is like
those sorts of
things which I'm like these are
incredible that's excellent yes uh
they're like may you never darken her
doorstep or her vagina
again and but at the may they never be
darkened yes then viv's like just goes
like I curse you pen Hollow you and your
whole stupid line and when she says that
like the candle flame like jumps up
super high in the air like the windows
slam shut whoops and she's like H
whatever I'm drunk this was fun and then
they just like kind of like move on with
their life and they're like silly
cathartic girl things you
know so not the same
but a friend of mine in college my
college
roommate found out that her boyfriend
had been cheating on her and they'd been
together for a really long time and it
was all very messy and so we collected
everything he had ever given her every
memory they had and we took them to my
dad's house and to burn them and my Dad
decided to put gasoline in a spray
bottle and so um he burned off quite a
bit of the hair on his arm because
the the flame followed the trail of the
gasoline back but we had all been
drinking and we were just like burn it
down like you're like not you Dad we're
not trying to burn you down like that's
not what we meant I know we said all men
but we didn't mean you
like was he okay he's totally fine yeah
okay so he just singed a couple of hairs
it wasn't great he we didn't curse an
entire bloodline or anything no yeah you
get it yeah you know just a light
Tuesday afternoon amount of fire sure
not the weekend
cursing right you get it okay so we are
now 9 years in the future is where this
book is picking up okay so we're 28 now
yeah we are now in our our late 20s and
we are opening with Rees um he he has
opened his own very successful like
travel Expedition company in London that
like had started just as him and like
now has like 10 employees and has really
built a very successful business he's
traveling back to Wales at his father's
behest his father Simon is known for
being like a very
intimidating very like old school man at
one point like his dad's like you're a
warlock and he's like that's an
Antiquated term that we don't use
anymore like that sort of old school
oldfashioned traditional and his dad
when he gets to whales like his dad is
just like annoyed with the life of
frivolity that Rees is living and so
he's like hey it's the uh 100y year I
think 100 year uh founding of graves
Glenn and so we need to send a
representative for like the annual
Founders Day Festival and as you know
every 25 years us as like the founding
bloodline we have have to go and we have
to charge the lay
lines um so we need you to go and do
this for the family which he's like not
super into but he is like I wonder if
Vivian is still
there so he's not married no okay single
as a pringle that's not a saying is it
it should be I liked it a lot as I was
saying it I was like no that's not a
thing
I really liked it though it doesn't even
make sense it doesn't cuz who eats a
single
Pringle I'm like a single can
of
Pringles I'm like yes okay we'll work on
our uh analogies our Rhymes yeah we'll
work on those in a smidge but yes he's
single and he is like okay like I don't
really want to go and do this but like
I'll go Char like make a speech charge
the lay lines be out two days later and
be back doing what I want to do but he
is like also
like it'd be cool to see Viv and if
she's still there um and he's like
telling his brother about her and like
that he thinks of her as kind of like
the one who got away yes H so now switch
to Vivien uh she is still in Graves
Glenn and is a professor at the college
that she went to so Penh Haven College
um they have a whole like magical degree
progam so like they have a whole section
of their college that's like four
magical students but she teaches on like
the Normie side so they're like yeah we
just like like you can apply for like
the historical folklore degree but like
right if you're not magical you just
think it's really hard to get into and
they only accept International students
like you just choose another major right
right um but also we learn like viven
was uh her mom was a witch maybe I
forget if her dad was a witch as well if
I'm being honest my bad uh but she grew
up in a house not that didn't really
practice magic she didn't know she was
magical for most of her upbringing so
she's like I kind of feel more
comfortable
being on the human side of things and
with the human students uh but then
she'll
like enchant the papers while she's
grading them so like it'll like
automatically let her know if anyone
cheated and she's like and the words
turned red and bled off the page and I
knew he hadn't written it and I was like
oh that'd be a great magical I was going
to say so she's like settling into the
human side but she's still using like
yeah the most magic that I do is like
reheating my tea without a microwave
kind of energy um her cousin Gwen and
her auntie Lane she Liv with them and
they live local they have a like kind of
like witchy novelty shop called
something wicked that sells like tarot
decks and uh crystals and cute yes all
of all of those fun things smudge sticks
probably yeah yeah all that good stuff
right sense mhm whatever you think of
when you're thinking of that shop the
answer is yes you are
correct um but while she's hanging out
with her aunt and cousin her aunt or not
her aunt her cousin gets a text and
she's like cuz her cousin is [ __ ]
Jane the mayor of the Town they're sure
so they have an ananan thing I think the
next book is about Ginn I don't know
didn't even look at it sorry if you're
interested you can find it uh but Jane
text Gwenn and was like oh they're
sending a pen Hollow representative and
they're like oh [ __ ] is it going to be
Rees she hasn't seen him they haven't
talked like we don't know and so Gwen's
like let me like do a reading for you
and like starts pulling cards and she's
like yeah the fool whoops it's going to
be
him so they're like already prepared for
his return cut back to Reese who has now
arrived in Georgia and he is just having
a shitty day like flew into Atlanta
there was bad traffic got a speeding
ticket as soon as he like made it to
Graves Glenn got a flat tire tried to
fix the tire with magic but his magic
was on the fritz and so he's just like
it's about to rain I'm standing on the
[ __ ] side of the road I'm exhausted
like cool that feels like a hex doesn't
it well maybe maybe just a smidge I mean
maybe it's just a terribly awful day
yeah it's a bad day no matter what the
cause is I guess if we really break it
down so he's standing on the side of the
road being like guess I could walk [ __ ]
I don't
really have like a great plan and then a
car is coming so he's like all right
stand here look Charming trying and like
get their attention but like the car is
getting closer and he's like they aren't
slowing down and they're veering right
and I'm on the right and so like then
he's like [ __ ] they're about to hit me
so he like jumps off the road but like
kind of like falls into the grass like a
trenchy ditch area right and then the
car stopped and was like oh my God sorry
I didn't even see you until you move
like that was the weirdest thing and
it's Vivien but at this point she's now
like tripped and fallen on him and
naturally yes as as one does and she's
like oh okay it's you and he's like oh
were
you like were you driving down this road
to like come to my house to greet me or
something she's like no my aunt still
lives on this road like get the [ __ ]
over yourself like no he's like well do
you want to be a Good Samaritan like
give me a ride and she's like why
should I and he's like well for one I am
here in town to charge the lay lines
which helps everyone so that you're
welcome me being here is beneficial to
you and two I didn't even make a pervy
comment when you just fell on me and
three I three was going to be a pervy
comment so maybe you should just leave
me
here okay that's kind of good that's
pretty good yes but then Vivian
goes okay I'll leave you here and just
get up and drives away and like as her
tail lights are going he's just
like fair play yeah like she really left
me cuz I'm imagining there was some like
oh she'll turn around like like she did
she is like right yes but also as soon
as he saw her he's like she's just as
beautiful as I remembered her
being but then he was like well I guess
I'm walking and then like the rain
starts falling and he's like like [ __ ]
all of this what a
scene yes dejectedly walking down the
road after you just fell onto the
shoulder into a ditch in a foreign
country in a foreign country after your
ex just left you
there after the one who got away e just
left you there yeah that's rough yeah
that feels like a little extra Twist of
the knife you know um the next morning
like Gwyn and viven are just like
laughing about the fact that like Vivien
left him and gwyn's like you're the
baddest [ __ ] I've ever met and Gwen's
like or Vivian's like well you know
I I like both feel proud of myself but
also a little like I really left him
there yeah um but then Jane shows up and
is like I I have I can't find Reese
where the [ __ ] is Reese like he's
supposed to like he hasn't checked in at
the welcome station and he's supposed to
give this and like none of this is
working and so Gwyn calming her love
interest is like don't worry Vivan and
Reese are old friends she can go track
them down no problem's like [ __ ]
you fully thrown under the bus 1,000%
that has sister energy yes they they are
cousins but they are sisters I got you
yes oh you and your sisters would 1,00%
do that to each other oh yeah
mhm I my sister and I um our phone
number numbers are only two digits off
the last two digits are different mhm
and um it never dawned on me that I
could just if I I could give someone a
fake number so I just always gave them
my sister's number
Chelsea that's pretty good is
that I like that a lot that's pretty
good which probably means it's terrible
in retrospect I don't know if she found
it as funny as I
did yeah that's pretty
hilarious my
bad what are you going to do
um viven tracks him down he has like a
giant coffee in hand and she's like he
is
not looking like he is doing his best
since he got here um but she's like but
damn it he's still cute and so she gets
him over to the welcome station like
explains where he needs to be and then
he's like well after all of this tonight
I'm going to go charge the lay lines do
you want to come with me like do you
want to see them which like it's not
open to the public it's not
like like Vivian even says at one point
that cuz I think he asked if she's been
there and she's like no like my aunt was
always very clear like this is like
sacred magic place like you don't just
like casually go to the lay lines right
right it's not a tourist attraction
1,000%
so then at the festival Reese is giving
his speech and like he keeps it short
and sweet like the way you want a speech
at an event like that but then the
statue of his like great great however
many greats there are grandfather griffi
who's the one who founded the
town uh the head just falls off the
statue and like is like like he like
moves out of the way but like almost
decapitates him and he's like
this doesn't just feel like bad luck
like starting to feel more targeted now
yeah like he's like maybe something is
wrong and so he goes to Something Wicked
uh to ask viven and her cousin if they
have I guess a scrying
mirror uh and they're like well we we do
in the back and he's like yeah I need it
to communicate with my father and
they're like oh most people I didn't
know you could FaceTime with this crying
mirror yeah and he's like well they
don't have my father so he uses this
magic mirror to essentially FaceTime his
dad and be like I think I'm cursed
something is a
Miss yeah
and he's like is it cool to charge the
lelay lines if I'm cursed and his dad's
like you're not cursed you're being
absolutely
ridiculous the bad traffic in a speeding
ticket is what happens in Atlanta yeah
like sucks to suck you just chose to
travel like a human and that's the human
travel experience don't be ridiculous
don't call me again yeah and he's like
no pin hollow man has been cursed for a
thousand years go like do what you went
there to do and [ __ ] come
back I was like you
so he he's broken the generational non-
curse like never mind I was like we're
breaking a generational curse but that's
not what's happening because he is
cursed my brain's not well my brain's
not the funny part is that uh you kind
of stumbled onto something that we'll
discover later in the book oh where
there are maybe maybe hypothetically
some generational ties into all of this
well excuse me then yes so it's like a
thousand years is a long time how do you
know well so as uh like as the one
chapter ends with Reese's dad being like
you're not cursed you idiot the next
chapter starts with Vivian telling Quinn
I think we cursed
Reese I think that vodka KN yeah she's
like do you remember that night like
nine years
ago I was crying in the bathtub yes I
cursed his entire family line gw's like
you're just being
ridiculous uh but also like it's
like you're being ridiculous about the
curse but it does seem like there's a
little bit of a spark between the two of
you should we talk about that like you
two still seem like a little into each
other he
he and vian's like I really feel like
you're missing the point of what I'm
trying to say In This Moment Gwen's
trying to be a wing woman Vivian's
trying to save a life yes one like like
there are deeper problems here and
gwyn's like
yeah also like gwy exclusively calls
Reese dick bag this entire book like to
his
face that is definitely sister energy
for sure um also I will say cousin
energy in my case because I think you
have heard the general folklore of that
time that I my boyfriend came on a
family trip to Guatemala with me and 2
days into the trip we broke up but then
he stayed for the rest of the weeklong
trip um and the only person who knew
about the breakup because I was too
embarrassed and also like wasn't going
to tell my whole extended family that I
was with um was my cousin who I was
sharing a bedroom with so she obviously
knew cuz I came in after the breakup and
like she heard all about it being upet
so like the next day we're all taking
like a group photo at this Winery and
she just goes hey can you stand on the
end so I can cop you out later
that's so
good that's so
good I love that I know she also
officiated my wedding like we love that
yes but I'm like what an
incredible she's like yeah whenever
someone's dating someone we always try
and get them on the outside you
know I do know I like it's a great way
to live if we're being completely honest
yes we're just planning ahead staying
smart you know
mhh so um at the lay lines that night
they get to the caves and uh reys and
viven
are trying to find their way through the
caves to where like the secret entrances
and Reese is like definitely a little
bit lost and she's like do you not know
where the [ __ ] you're going he's like no
I just like need to like reorient myself
and she's like because you're lost maybe
it's that like shadow on the wall behind
you that like looks like a secret
entrance that shadow that's shaped like
a door yeah where she's like it's it's
kind of obvious like that that's where
they're
going and so when they like enter I
guess like the Chamber of the cave uh
they both start to feel the very
palpable physical effect of magic which
I guess like the physical effects like
sometimes magic can make you feel giddy
or sometimes lethargic and some magic
can make you feel very
horny I'm shocked right and so she's
like looking at him as they're like fing
this pole and she's like is this mag
like what is what is happening but
they're like getting like closer
together and he's like she's still the
most beautiful human I need to kiss her
and like right as he's like closing his
eyes and leaning in she's like did you
really bring me to a magical sex cave
like was this your end
goal like [ __ ] you bro oh Reese read the
room babe oh my God and he's like oh is
that
not is that not what we're doing and
like to be fair it's not like it was
only affecting him like right she like
realized it and like actively fighting
against this just like innate pull
that's happening but he was already
wanting it before so he just didn't
fight it yeah that is also very true but
she asked she's like so did you ask your
dad like what to expect like did you
know that was going to happen and he's
like well like no and she's like so you
brought me here not knowing what we were
walking into a potentially very unsafe
situation yes and he's like not getting
why she's frustrated and she's like
because you didn't check like you
invited me here not knowing what to
expect into like what yeah a very
potentially dangerous situation like
cool so you weren't really thinking
about me in this moment
kind of energy yeah and so they're
bickering and they're like whatever
let's just kind of like get the lines
charged to get out and so he starts like
putting his hands over them doing
whatever he needs to do to charge the
lines and they're like glowing brighter
and brighter and then suddenly there's
this like cracking sound and the way
they describe it is like the lay lines
are like clear like bright purple like
glowing lines of magic through the rock
I guess who knows uh
and then there's suddenly like black
ooze and like sludge is kind of starting
to
fill the the magic lay line oh no yeah
and they're like we should
run time to go yes they're like oh [ __ ]
we were not prepared for that and so as
when they leave like Reese is like what
the [ __ ] was that and then Vivian's like
so funny
story uh
remember that time you cheated on your
fiance with me and he's like I wasn't
engaged I was
betrothed that's the I'm
like we're splitting hair is it just
what is the difference like that's a
real question is the difference between
like an engagement and a betral is like
betral is kind of like
dibs
like like an intention to be engaged
yeah it's like like cuz I feel like
people describe betrothed once you're
engaged interchangeably but like in that
like oh to keep the family line strong
we know our daughter is going to marry
your son at some certain age so are you
is that just your betrothed until you
are officially engaged I have no idea I
don't either and I've never thought
about it until now and I have questions
but if anyone has answers please let us
know I think okay okay okay so from
Vivian's side for me I would be like you
still had a commitment mhm to someone
else that you didn't tell me about after
we've been sleeping together for 3
months so regardless of if it was like
an arranged marriage and a signed piece
of paper like I still deserve to know
that information yeah like you knew even
if you didn't know who the person was
yet that your dad was working on setting
up an arranged situation for you right
so
would have been nice to know that
information yes like very much like a
Lie by Omission sort of situation and I
can see from his side if he was like I
never even like I had no intention of
marrying this person I didn't know who
they were yes and he's like you were
beautiful and I'm 19 right right I'm a
very stupid boy like what do you want so
in the car on the way back into town
viven is like telling him like
about yeah so like I may have have
cursed you um but then she gets a phone
call from Gwyn and she's like you need
to get to Something Wicked immediately
so they book it to Something Wicked and
when they get there and walk inside they
had like been stocking the shelves for
the Founders Day Festival and so they
had a lot of like chachies and kitsy
things including like hundreds of
plastic
skulls which have now come to life and
are trying to bite all of their ankles
that's good they like that's some Buffy
the Vampire Slayer [ __ ] 1,000% they like
walk in but there's like humans in the
shop and and so they're like working on
like trying to sweep a path so they like
throw a broomed Reese who's sweeping a
path to the door for the humans to
follow him like sweeping the skull heads
left and right and he's like this is why
you don't buy [ __ ] online
internationally
and just like don't use Teemu like very
much always have a verified vendor as
he's just helping them to the
door so they get the girls out and uh
like our shutting doors and Vivian tries
to like use magic to shut the curtains
and like fire shoots out so she like
causes a fire and they're like this is
not this is A Series of Unfortunate
Events yes and they're like well should
we just go hide in the back in the store
room which is also like like a magical
store room like when you walk in you're
like oh this isn't just like a normal
store room this is like a Gryffindor
Commons store room sort of energy like
Okay so let's go hide in the store room
because we don't have a better plan and
then suddenly like the front doors to
the shop blast open and anti Lane is
there and like has
like I don't know disabled the skeletons
use some magic where the skeletons are
longer actively trying to eat people
yeah I don't even know what I
do so pitiful I don't even know what I
do that is a that is a helpless
situation I think that's one of those
where honestly like if there was a mouse
or a lot of mice after me I wouldn't
know what to do I would jump up on a
table and hope for the best probably
like yeah and you're like I think the
thing what it comes down to though is
being like okay so is this just like a I
have to outlast them until they lose
interest or do I just live on this table
now is this my home now so my sister
texted me and told me that she
discovered she has a primal fear of mice
that she did not know that she had and
so there was a her cat brought a mouse
in and it like jumped up and she said
she was like screaming and like trying
to crawl up the stairs it was like
having it like a full meltdown about it
and she said I'm pretty sure I get it
from dad because she doesn't remember
but I do one of my very first memories
is my father tugging his pants into his
socks and carrying a broom into our shed
to try to deal with a nest of mice in
the shed and he was terrified they were
going to crawl up his pants
was that like firsthand experience he'
previously had with that fear based on
don't I still don't know but I
distinctly remember the pants tucked
into the socks and him just screaming in
the shed while we all just like sat
there pretty sure my older sister had
some chips
but yeah so that's I would be like
tugging my pants into my socks if there
were
like little things like that trying to
bite me if there were hundreds of
plastic skeletons
heads trying to bite your ankles if
there was any indication that they were
climbers pants into the
socks yeah well cuz I guess
like I don't know how much skill they
have with their teeth right which is a
weird sentence to say especially on this
podcast what did you say earlier that
guy has a Prince
William so something on TV this guy had
was like I have a balding situation and
Chelsea goes that guy's got like a
Prince
William and both Hannah and my husband
paused and looked at me and they were
like we don't think we know that sex
piercing like how do you know about his
dick piercings like what are you talking
about is he like a secret porn St was
like I've never even heard of this man
how do you know what dick piercings he
had
I was like no I just met his
hairline the one on his
head his actual head on his
shoulders yeah not the one in his
pants there was a there was a high
school coach that that was uh the advice
he always gave his like I think it was
the track team he's like oh think with
the head on your shoulders not the one
in your
pants like some of his go-to advice for
the team a golden nugget of wisdom um
even better Golden Nugget of wisdom this
is my husband's F story that I think is
one of the funniest things I've ever
heard where he was at
Christian weekend Camp growing up and
they were talking about purity and
saving yourself from Marriage oh no and
the speaker was like if you guys don't
hear me say anything else the entire
weekend just hear
this keep it wrinkled
no that was and that was a period not a
comma there was no followup to that I'm
like
what what that was the that was the
official advice you gave keep it
wrinkled okay so anyways they're all
debriefing the magical heads
okay and Gwynn's like none of this would
have even happened if reys had broken
viv's heart and Reese is like I didn't
break her heart and then he like pauses
he's like did I wait like did I break
your heart and Vivian's like thanks
[ __ ] again Gwen no you didn't break
my heart I was a little bummed I was 19
I got
drunk It's not that
deep then she's like but also maybe a
little you broke my heart but like
trying to save a little bit of a face
there right mhm and so they're like
let's just call tonight let's all go
home let's get some sleep uh like
tomorrow Auntie Lane will start looking
at like how we can like remove curses
and Gwyn will run the shop and like
manage the founders day crowd and we're
going to get it figured out nobody panic
we're just going to do it and so like
the next morning the magic is still
wonky which uh has now just transferred
from Reese's magic being off to The
Whole Town's magic being
a little
off right uh and so Vivian wakes up and
her cousin's cat sir Pur Civ all uh is
looking at her and just goes
treats nope and she's like the [ __ ] cats
are not supposed to do that she's like
I'm hallucinating and then she's like
I'm not hallucinating apparently that's
just a thing
now so when Vivian goes down into the
kitchen reys is there with her aunt and
then talking about uh just hypothesizing
potential fixes and being like okay well
the good news is that we think when like
reys was charging the lines he a lot of
the curse that was on him is now in the
lay line so now it's it's not as potent
in him like his magic isn't quite as
Haywire like still can't really just be
using it but
like he's less cursed now that he shared
it with the rest of the
town uh so thoughtful right exactly and
then what happened who even knows uh
hopefully you hopefully me
listen uh
I was a few drinks in when I outline
some of this and so I'm doing my best to
remember they they decide at breakfast
that Rees is going to go to the college
with Vivien and so while she is teaching
he's going to go to like the magical
section of the library and try and get
some
answers so when they get to the college
she goes to drop him off at the library
and they're like there's like
a The Vibes are off but like on like a
magical level where they're like it
feels like a little like cold and
ominous and like things aren't quite
right but
like okay we're we're still got to do
what we got to do so reys is starting to
do research when she goes to teach a
class and then calls his brother to be
like maybe he will know what to do with
all of this and but he's also like don't
tell
Dad I am
cursed I've ruined the streak yes uh the
family line may be ending with
me my bad and his brother's like so you
need to come home so can fix this and
he's like well no I'm going to be here
trying to fix it and his brother is like
you need to come back ASAP and you need
to tell dad and he's like no this really
wasn't the advice I was looking for uh
so I'm going to go
now which all that feels like some real
sibling [ __ ] yes
absolutely no I was looking for this
when I called you I was not looking for
whatever [ __ ] you're offering up I
need you to cosign my nonsense not come
up with actual solution thank you yes
yeah you're like no I need you to be
willing to burn it all down with me I
was not looking for you to provide a
really logical reframe
of what actually happened in this moment
if I was looking for maturity I'd call
somebody
else like who would I call if I was
looking for maturity probably my husband
M cuz Vance Vance is really great at
like if there's something that he need
that he's like yes I will ride with you
on this all day but if there's something
that he doesn't think should be
happening he will not blindly ride with
me uh which we need that balance and
accountability though yes where he's
like love you hear why you're
upset and I'm not going to burn this
down with
you let's find alternate
solution yeah which also sometimes cuz
like my he works in the basement and I
work on the upper floors in our house
and so sometimes I'll FaceTime him to
like when I'm mad about something and
there was one time where I was like this
is not what I was looking for I needed
you to agree she was being a [ __ ] and
then I just like H
up you are not meeting my
needs I needed you to say wow she really
has it coming and he's like I will not
I was like damn it but I also like to
think I do that for him yeah I'm just
trying to say I'm not fully
unhinged just trying to calm me down all
the
time Chelsea's just walking around
plotting revenge and murder and Vance is
like maybe not today okay I'm like I'm a
I'm a pretty happy person I'm not I'm
not that
murdery there's a certain threshold that
I have to get to you know as we all
have I would like to hear about the um
threshold um at a later time this is
something to process I don't want to
spoil that for everyone else well no
that's fair but I do think that like I'm
super I'm super chill until I'm not
super chill mhm and where is that
threshold where is that murder line
maybe I shouldn't call it a murder line
mine was yesterday when somebody
interrupted my lunch and I thought I was
going to catch a charge I was waiting
for my
quesadilla and I got a phone call that I
needed to come back to the facility and
I was like rage like I just wanted my
quesadilla I do think my murder line is
often food related it was 100% food
related yeah yeah I'm like I even when
I'm mad at someone so much less murdery
yeah with a with a snack in me mhm
yeah my son unfortunately seems to have
that uh characteristic as
well Han he does yeah and I know you saw
a little bit of it before we started
recording today but I need you to know
that man this morning has had three and
a half
bottles a full bowl of strawberries a
full bowl of yogurt melts two hash
browns oh my
God three applesauce
pouches and that was still him y'all are
going to have to take out a loan when he
gets to his teenage years oh can you
imagine yeah like I saw a post where
someone was like you think Toddlers and
diapers are expensive just wait until
their teenagers and eat through $300 of
groceries in two days and I was like my
one and a half-year-old did that last
week I'm like I'm I will never
financially recover from this situation
we're going to have to get that only fan
so that you could feed your kid yes I'm
like I'm like an a relatively
accomplished professional and I'm out
here being
like should I start with selling feet
picks or used underwear which is the
right
option which is the most bang for your
buck cuz my kid eats 15 meals a day and
that ain't cheap
all right so he hung up on his
brother
sorry I'm so sorry nothing like
snorting red wine oh my God let me get a
sip of
water holy [ __ ] we really went all the
way around on that I'm so
sorry we did so Vivien gets to the
library after class and is joining him
in their research and like a in they
still haven't found anything they're
getting frustrated and she's just like
it shouldn't even be that hard to
reverse this since we were barely a
thing and he's like I know I'm annoyed
but like don't [ __ ] on what we had is
like in his head he's like he [ __ ] on
what they had well that too a little bit
but like he's like hey that summer meant
something but then it like starts to a
little flirty she's like I barely
remember it and he's like so you don't
remember the first time we kissed and
she's like I've kissed a lot of guys who
can say yeah and he's like would you
like me to kiss you now to jog your
memory and she's like I mean if you must
is kind of the vibe so they start
kissing great kiss things start to
escalate he's pushing her against the
desk he's standing between her legs at
one point she's like touch me and he's
like gets his hand under her pants
between her legs but above her tights
and uh she the moment his thumb touch
with her she's like well I guess the
clip part of the curse did not come true
yay me that is great
news uh but then right as things are
starting to escalate they hear a scream
oh and they're like oh and then they
keep kissing and then they hear another
scream and they're like maybe
something's wrong maybe we should pause
and go investigate so they go out into
the uh main library and uh there's a
ghost sure yeah
my actual notes wrote It's a
[ __ ] ghost
y'all is it Moaning Myrtle her name is
Piper but it's not that far off of an
energy but when as soon as the ghost
lays eyes on reys she like shrieks and
like charges at him and like flings him
across the room oh yeah and they're like
wow that is an angry ghost and then like
she sees pip not Piper is the ghost oh
she sees viven and then just like the
ghost disappears and they're like okay
that was weird and then suddenly Dr
arbuthnot Who's over like she's the head
of witchery for the college shows up
witchery is there another continue is
there another word for it it's a fun
word it is a really fun word that's why
I wanted to say it yeah yeah I didn't
have anything to add I just what does it
say witchery
witchery please continue
exactly it's like the back part of a
spelling be like you didn't actually
spell the word but it's when they like
yes w t c h e r y
Witcher please
continue so Ree and viven are meeting
with Dr arbuthnot and they're
like there may have been a mishap with
the lay lines and Dr AR is like well
that mishap did just release a ghost
from a very powerful binding spell like
she was into some dark magic y'all need
to fix this and they're like oh our bad
but then like Reese is like that is an
intense woman I get why you don't [ __ ]
with the witches here like I see why you
stay on the Normie side wow buzz kill am
I
right so he's really not necessarily
taking this as serious ly or he's giving
the energy that he's not taking things
as seriously as maybe he handles
everything with like a slight level of
like humor and ambivalence right which
ironically going into like this very
next section because as reys and Vivien
are walking I think it's like they get
back to her office and he gets a phone
call about his company that like
something has like gone wrong and he
like she hands him like a pad of paper
and a pen and and he starts writing
notes and like making phone calls and
she's like and I watched him transform
into the most competent human I'd ever
seen in my entire life and it was hot as
[ __ ] to like see that like that side of
him exist she's like makes a girl Swoon
you
know
competency I'm not going to disagree
with that though no I get that yeah yeah
seeing someone be competent yeah mhm or
even all right not quite the same but
still
competent uh like we used to have when I
worked Community Mental Health and one
of our like overnight stay units we had
mental health Texs on on the unit and
there was a dude like he wasn't the
largest man like we had some text that
I'm like you are like 65 and 300 lb and
like you're probably never going to have
to go Hands-On but it's just like your
presence is what is keeping everyone
safe here but it always fascinated me
with like the mental health techs who
were the short Kings cuz like I don't
know about the mental health techs that
you've had that are the short Kings but
like they have a level of just like
confidence and competency that I'm like
I trust you yep no like implicitly mhm
not exp explicit
implicitly both okay
both I'm not I trust you fully there it
is wine we found it we found it teamwork
but yes yeah yeah no I get what you're
saying yeah and I was like you are not
someone that you look at physically and
just like think like oh this person is
going to beat the [ __ ] out of somebody
or like can protect people but there's
just something about the way in which
you carry yourself that says you've got
this you've got all of us yes it's the
best um
so I don't I don't know there we jump to
like a couple of cute scenes right so
you have like Vivian talking to gwy and
she's like grinning like an idiot and
then gwy is kind of being like if you
can make that face from Just a Kiss like
I get why maybe you cursed him like
seems you seem a little bit giddy then
like after that debrief viven and Rees
end up going to get coffee and he tries
to bring up and like talk to her about
the kiss uh and she's just kind of stoic
and is like yeah like it was like it
shouldn't have happened and just like
shuts it down and can read her well
enough to be like I want to talk about
this but like she's clearly closing this
off and like I'm not going to push this
conversation
so uh she's telling him kind of about
the shop because he notices he's like
are the breas magical like are they
witches and she's like yeah everyone
that they employ here they're like
primarily college students who practice
magic uh and then she's telling him that
like they use small magic to run the
shop with like dishes never break orders
are always right no one ever spills
anything and just like those like small
always the perfect temperature like that
kind of stuff very much but as she's
saying that suddenly there's this like
shattering sound and they look and they
like go over to this dude who mug has
fallen on the ground and he is frozen
solid oh yeah and they're like the [ __ ]
he should not be frozen solid but then
like as they're like looking around and
like the manager is like calling
911 they see a barista like sneak out
the back so they go to talk to her and
it's a student who's apparently been
dealing
potions to her classmates so it's
supposed to be like a Viagra
potion but because the town's magic was
on the fritz and she didn't know that no
it didn't just make him hard why would
you take that in a coffee shop I'm like
was it on the start of the date well cuz
like my assumption was that like she
like puts it in their Dr Cofe right but
I'm like maybe she hands it to them and
then they decide when they take it and
he's like starting my date early and uh
and maybe a little explicitly like I
don't know are you trying to get a handy
in a coffee shop H valid question why
was he taking it in the shop regardless
that's hilarious and he is now frozen
[Laughter]
solid and but it's also when uh when
Vivan is talking to she's like maybe
like hold off on like using magic for a
while uh and the girl's like well you
wouldn't get it since like you don't
like she's like that's like asking me
not to breathe like I just like magic is
part of my everyday life and she's like
you wouldn't get it and Vivian's like
I'm a witch the girl's like wait what
like he's clearly magical you teach on
like the Normie side she's like you're a
witch
huh which just more to the like how
Vivien grew up right uh and not growing
like her parents are
deceased they didn't practice magic
growing up at one point uh reys is like
so the full Potter huh and she's like
what and he's like yeah like you like
didn't find out you're magical till you
were older the full Potter she's like no
one calls it that he's like sure they
do so it's sort of like like um growing
up in a home where your parents are from
a different country but they don't speak
their native language in the house but
then like you go around your extended
family and they're all speaking the
native language and you're like supposed
to know but you kind of know but you
really don't like and that's how I'm
like conceptualizing it um I think with
viven it's not necessarily a lack of
knowledge it's just a lack of habit and
a lack of practice where like everyone
else like when she practices magic she's
very good and very competent and can do
lots of things um but because she did
didn't grow up with magic being a part
of her regular daily life and practice
she doesn't utilize it as readily right
okay and so like she's like yeah I still
clean my house like I don't use magic to
do that so I think it's more of those
things where it's like not that she
can't do it or figure it out it's just
that she it's not Beyond her she just
doesn't it's not part of her regular
habits I got you okay okay yeah thank
God because I was like am I getting me
um
no I get what you're
saying so the next day
uh there when Vivan is at work a witch
shows up to from the witch
witch from the witchery
Department The Witch's Department the
witchery Department the witch Department
the Council of
witches whatever the Muggles no way
wrong we're just getting it all
confused and uh she's like oh it's like
a newer Young
like Professor her name is Amanda she's
like oh she actually seems cool she's
not as like stuck up as the others and
Amanda wants to talk to her about Piper
The Ghost and asks for Vivian help
capturing Piper again uh so they can
rebind her so we find out that like
Piper uh would had been trying to do
like a summoning spell and it was some
darker magic and it was too powerful and
like that's what killed
her so that night Vivian calls reest to
meet her and they he's like what are we
doing she's like We're going to capture
a ghost he's like okay so they're going
on this adventure they are going to the
house that Piper lived in when she'd
been alive so that they can find her
altar uh and then Amanda has given viven
a uh I always [ __ ] up the pronunciation
idy sure yeah
I should have just said that with more
confidence instead of being like I might
be butchering I don't know what it's
supposed to be so sounds right to me
yeah a idy candle uh oh
yes oh it's because you didn't say
candle why I need to say context I get
it
now the candle context makes all the
difference woo so so they're like we
have to they're like very simple all we
have to do is find her altar light the
candle it will bring her spirit back to
the flame she will live in the candle
and then we can get it back to the
witchery
Department done that's the whole plan uh
but when they get to the house they're
like she lived in like a [ __ ] haunted
house it's creepy as [ __ ] it's like a
dilapidated Victorian or something very
much that energy yeah and so they go in
and they're like starting to like look
around and then they hear some noises
and so they go and they hide in the
closet and it's some students from the
college and one of the college Bros is
trying to use it as a hookup
spot cuz I walk in and like notice like
this room like like one room wasn't
Dusty the way the rest of the house was
you know at least he cleaned it up a
little bit I guess great positive
reframe I try if that is strength based
if ever I've I've heard it h
so they're like what the [ __ ] he's using
this as a hookup spot but like as he's
like trying to like talk the girl into
he's like come on like I promise it'll
be like good and she's like that's what
you said last time it was only 2 minutes
and they're like in the closet hearing
this oh my God you can't come back from
that you can't come back from that by
God he was
trying but they're pressed together in
the closet it's like feeling more
intimate and they're hearing that out
there but then like the kid realizes
he's like yeah maybe this isn't the
sexiest thing like let's just explore
then like well we can't have him like
finding us in the closet so Vivian
starts using her magic to like Shake
picture frames on the wall and like slam
doors and windows and so they're like we
need to get the [ __ ] out of here so they
managed to get rid of the students and
then as they're like still pressed close
in the closet she like leans back
against the wall and feels like a zap in
her finger ERS and is like like feels
like a magic tingle and then it's like
oh this is like when they like turn
their flashlight around in the back of
the closet is where her full altar was
oh yeah happy accident right very
convenient they light the candle they
feel Pipers I was going to say Essence
but I guess presence is is your spirit
your
essence yes
I don't know yes you're like hey Chelsea
that feels like a bigger
question that I'm not prepared for In
This Moment didn't realize we were like
going full Nichi or some [ __ ] today or
whatever kind of pick a
philosopher Camu I just like to say that
that is a fun one M yeah uh I am having
a hard time naming philosophers cuz in
my head all I'm thinking of is like
counseling theorists which are not the
same so that's why I'm not really saying
anything I almost said
yolum like we're about to go full Adler
on this
[ __ ] uh so Piper is like being drawn to
the candle and like she's like starting
to whisp into the candle but is talking
with them as this is happening and she
says cursed pen Hollow cursed for what
was taken and like looks at Reese and
she's like it was never yours [ __ ]
like you took it and he's like is this
about me doesn't feel like it's about me
I didn't do anything yes but then she's
like what was wrong must be writed what
was taken must be relinquished and then
the flame goes out
yeah and so they're like well let's take
the candle to the Something Wicked store
room for some safekeeping until we can
get it back to the witchery
department and like at as they're
getting back to the store room they're
just like laughing about like the
students lack of
game and uh she's like you know thanks
for never trying to feel me up in a
haunted house when we were 19 and he's
like it would have been worth it but
then he goes he's like I was mad about
you and then he pauses and he's like
maybe that shouldn't be past tense he's
like I am mad about you I'm still mad
about you and is like still very into
you uh I've never stopped and so then
they start kissing and it's very sweet
and then uh he said say if you'll allow
me to make you come tonight I consider
myself the most fortunate of
men which is such a formal request to
finger blast someone I was going to say
that is so British like oh my
God I'm
like so British well I was trying to say
okay Mr Darcy but I couldn't think of
Darcy so I almost just said okay Mr
Weasley
so I
almost hooked up with a a UK like
exchange student or whatever and it was
almost because we were about to get it
and he said will you allow me to lie
with you and I went nope deed out
[Laughter]
you're like when it was happening
organically I was just rolling with it
but now that we've actually stopped and
put a question why did you say it like
[Music]
that so the next day on campus viven
meets Amanda to hand her the candle then
Ash's walking to her office she like
sees Amanda walking off and she's like
huh that's not the way to the witchery
Department maybe she knows a show cut
I'm not in that department and just like
moves on with her day uh but then a
little bit later Dr arbit KN knocks on
her door and is like we need to talk and
like that's where that chapter Fades to
Black next scene next chapter
reys uh Rees is thinking about how into
Vivian he is uh and then she knocks on
the on his door and is like clearly
upset and so she tells him that she's
like yeah apparently Amanda isn't a
professor she's a con artist oh my God
all right t- Ms YN
tamson t m Sy YN tamson yes tamson okay
uh wellknown con artist for like dealing
in magical artifacts oh no so they're
like cool we just put this very powerful
Ghost spirit in this candle and handed
it to a con artist nailed it yeah uh but
it's also super funny because this is
like I one of the first times that uh
Vivian has been to his house and
apparently the family house there is
this like creepy ass Gothic mansion like
she go of course it is yeah like she
like goes into the bedroom and she's
like is this Dracula's bedroom like of
course you have a [ __ ] canopy
bed oh not a canopy right and so they're
just like very endearing things seem to
be escalating and at one point she like
looks at him and she's like I've run out
of ways to say this is a bad idea and
he's like we've made a lot of mistakes
but like I don't think this is one of
them and she's like are you going to
kiss me he's like I'm going to do a lot
more than kiss you if you let
me that's cute maybe I'll lie with you
may I lie with you and that's the that's
the deal
breaker I don't know
why but as soon as he said it I was like
I think I'm going to go
oh listen we've all had those moments
that you're like this this is a deal
breaker and it's just like an instant
flip well it was like I just got pulled
out of the moment and was like never
mind like yes you have a great accent
and that is not enough to carry this so
I'm going to go you're like actually
would you could I just hand you a book
would you mind reading to me instead
that feels like a great way to spend the
night yes
1,000% um so he takes her to the bedroom
which they describe as a creepy Sex
Dungeon oh my God like he's making jokes
about it and she's like why didn't you
ever bring me back to your house and she
he was like this place like when we were
you wanted me to bring you to the creepy
Sex Dungeon cool um they bone yeah
excellent I'd say it's like they're
solidifying [ __ ] right and so uh next
chapter we're now a week in the
future they've had a great week they've
been [ __ ]
everywhere and uh it is now right before
the Fall Fest Vivian is supposed to be
helping Gwyn run a booth uh but they are
a little bit late because they were
[ __ ] you get it yeah yeah which is
also funny because like like he's like
no one will care if we're late she's
like Gwyn will care if we're late and
then she gets sidetracked then they're
an hour late and gwyn's like where the
[ __ ] were you
yeah yeah we were we're getting ready to
be here with you right uh so at the
festival Reese has apparently never had
a Tarot read before and so gwyn's like
let me like do a pull for you and so
she's like okay this and then they show
uh the emperor on the final card and
they're like well that's not like the
emperor is not bad they're like no just
like a little like for boing and like
you know like Authority and rules and
stru and Reese is like my father they're
like yeah like your father he's like no
my father and like points over when
should he like [ __ ] my dad is here so
now they are all talking with Dad and
his dad's like why the [ __ ] didn't you
tell me you were cursed he's like I
tried to tell you I was cursed you told
me I was being ridiculous you told me
that's just how humans
[Laughter]
travel which uh when we recently went to
Japan CEO green was on our flight shut
the [ __ ] up in Delta 1 why did you not
tell me
that I am right now you I've seen you
before this are you a big CEO girly I
didn't know I feel like that's a thing I
would tell people that you're a CEO
girly no that I saw CEO on a plane I
didn't cuz he was in Delta 1 oh okay I I
did see like people in our group took
selfies with him at one of thep I got
you I got you but apparently they also
had their own separate entrance and exit
from the plane huh like in [ __ ] there
were like
two vestibules to the plane huh yeah
they had their own special exit so he
didn't have to walk amongst the yeah
yeah that's why I didn't see him because
I'm a
peasant
understood uh so when his dad is like
have you even really what have you been
doing for these last like for the last
like week and a half since you've been
here here and he's like not just
[ __ ] other F other things he's like
we've been trying to like reverse the
side effects of the curse uh
and Simon asks viven and gwy and aunti
Lane he's like do you all have any like
ancestors that are buried locally that
you could like draw from their magic and
their power um and they're like
yes I don't a e l
WYD lww
nope you're just let me suffer on that
one okay like a Aid a I wholeheartedly
apologize to everyone who's like these
dumb asses this is the most obvious
thing please teach us how to pronounce
this I guess I could also have Googled
this before we recorded all of our Welsh
listeners are like y'all can go [ __ ]
yourselves I think I'm like
60% Welsh of course you are this is not
great um but they're like
yes Grandma a is that Granny a gran gran
just gonna yeah granny a actually came
over at the same time as like Griffin P
pen Hollow and like when he founded the
town and she's buried there uh and then
Simon is like all right well like I'm
going back you guys need to fix this and
he's like I'll leave you to sell your
crystals and chat skis and Vivian's like
hey like we we do sell crystals and we
do sell chachis and we still manage to
curse your whole [ __ ] family so maybe
lay off you
think good for her yeah they're like
little little bit of a badass yeah yeah
like very sweet softspoken Professor but
can like turn it on when she needs to I
don't think she swore at him I swore at
him for understood I get it also
uh I know this is a podcast so most
people are listening from a podcast
platform but for those of you lucky
enough to be watching on YouTube right
now my cat Craig my 10 year-old six
pound hairless cat has joined us but my
favorite part is he likes to tuck his
head in like under and then Fred does
that too and then sleep and it's the
funniest he looks like a little so cute
a little raw chicken it he does he looks
like like a little raw chicken there's
something about when a cat does that
that you're just like I what is extra
endearing about this I don't know but
it's so cute but it
is um okay so the next morning reys
wakes Vivian up and is like hey I can't
really use my magic but I called my
brother and he can use his magic so I
had him run a tracking spell on tamson
she is just like a town over how
convenient let's go get that candle
back so they go to the next town over
and get into the lobby of the Airbnb and
Reese's whole plan starts and ends with
him like Charming the front desk lady
into telling them the room number men
are the worst right like right as he's
like starting to like be like well hey
there how's your morning tamson comes
into the lobby and it's like thank God
you guys are here come upstairs with me
and they're like wait what what that
shouldn't have happened right that felt
different yes so then when they get up
into the room Tams and is like y'all
need to help me and they're like what
and she so she shows them the candle it
is like radiating dark energy in a way
that they're like it's not supposed to
do that she's like yeah I've sold a lot
of these over the years and it's not
supposed to do that and she's like and I
can't travel with it I can't sell it and
she's like so I was trying to figure out
what to do and y'all just showed up like
some [ __ ] witch Angels so thanks yeah
[ __ ] fix it yeah and so Vivian's like
I guess we could do you the favor of
taking this candle off your hands and uh
ree is like yes at Great personal cost
to our own
well-being as you can see the candle's
dangerous so you're
welcome and when they leave they're
like that could could have gone better
if we planned it
right so they get the candle back to
Something Wicked and Vivan lights it and
Piper appears and Piper is like I
recognize you and she's like yes from
the library uh I'm the one that cursed
the pen
Hollows you might recognize me you may
remember me well and Piper's like hold
up like it wasn't you then she's like
well not just you like I know the magic
surrounding the pen Hollows and like
it's not only
yours and so then Piper goes on to say
there's other magic running in the blood
of the Town mag magic that was stolen by
the pen Hollows
hidden Grandma a deserves her
revenge oh damn cuz griffi stole her
magic to start the town oh damn yes
thank you Keenan Thompson was what is
that I don't know I was here for it
though I don't know I gave you two odams
it felt I felt good about it I felt good
about receiving the odam
so thank you um so we do learn within
this conversation that Piper had been
trying to summon uh Grandma A's magic
and uh what had been trying to summon
her and like Piper's magic wasn't enough
and so it was trying to summon
Vivian's ancestry line that killed Piper
um but then they're like because viven
was blood when viven cursed Reese and it
summoned her it was like enough to like
break through that barrier so it is a
blood curse that like gave more power H
uh but the curse was that Griffin's
Legacy and heirs would suffer and Salon
is the the very next night and that's
when the veil will be thinnest and Magic
will be the most potent so they're like
the curse will reach its peak and so
they're like both the town and Reese are
going to die at midnight tomorrow oh
[ __ ] yes yeah casual not ideal no not
not if you're Reese yeah not what you
want to hear
really no that's a that's a bitter pill
to swallow
yeah not what you're like okay we just
went through all this effort to summon
this ghost was hoping she'd bring better
news I'm going to die in 24 hours
noted yeah not a lot of time to figure
it out from there so reys and Vivian are
like going back to his place and she's
just like feeling the weight of all of
this and he's making jokes and like
making light and it's like yeah like
well when I die like maybe like give me
like a Vikings funeral and she's just
like this isn't funny and he's like oh
yeah like he's like you're right like
you've had a really long day like this
has been like a very emotional day like
not the time for quippy jokes she's like
no don't say that like I don't find it
funny because I'm tired it's not funny
cuz I [ __ ] cursed you and if I don't
solve it you're going to die tomorrow
night and that is on me because I cursed
you and none of this is funny yes so
she's just like I I'm she like having a
moment where she's like you don't really
take anything
seriously
and I'm think I'm going to leave and go
back to my place for the night so the
next morning reys wakes up alone and is
like having a moment where he's like you
know when I was 19 and like told her
like apparently when he was 19 and was
like yeah I have to go back to wheel to
whales to deal with my betroth situation
she like threw his jeans at his head and
took off and he's like she like didn't
let me explain didn't let me say
anything and he's like she didn't really
like trust me or like give me the
benefit of the doubt and he's like and
she's also not doing that now which
stings he's like because I love her and
it she doesn't trust me yeah yeah
um and so his younger brother he has two
brothers the older one is back in whales
the younger one I don't really know
where he is I don't know if he knows
where he is uh but he facetimes him and
he's like you don't look too hot and so
his brother like he's telling his
brother all of the stuff that's been
going on with viven and his brother's
like she's right like you don't take
[ __ ] seriously and he's like what I take
I take a lot of [ __ ] seriously like work
her I'd take you seriously if it wasn't
for your beard and he's like like M case
in point Bud let's just
pause I'm going to repeat your words
back to you tell me what you hear in
that yes excellent yes his brother
didn't like Go full therapist but
definitely made the point yeah his
brother's like tell her you like like
tell her you love her talk to her like
mhm communicate maybe show her you're
taking this seriously yes so he goes to
her aunt's house to try and talk to her
or no maybe he goes to Something Wicked
I don't know wherever he goes he gets
her aunt and his her aunt is like hey
Vivian's not here she's already gone
back to her place to prepare for for the
night I get you want to talk to her but
like this is more magic than any of us
have done and she needs to focus and she
needs to prep and so like you'll need to
save whatever conversation you're trying
to have with her until after right any
Declarations of Love Can yes which
1,000% respect yeah she's like hey
totally understand feel the
room not the moment if you're still
alive after all of this we can we can
work from there so they all get to the
cemetery that night and by all of them I
just mean viven Gwyn Elaine and Reese
okay and so uh the three women are all
working to summon Grandma A's Spirit uh
and then she uh possesses vivien's body
and is talking to reys and so he's
saying
like I he loves her and he deserves to
be cursed and then she's like so like
what if I like spared the town and took
your life he's like take my life as long
as like she's fine and then uh Gwenn is
like Reese no and he's like oh finally
not dick bad
[Laughter]
I have a name on the way out nailed
it which I
love he's like cool checkbox that one
finally accomplished that's the last
item on my bucket list apparently so
ghost grandma is like I am within her
body I can tell like she loves you too
she's asked me to spare both you and the
town and because she is my blood I I
will do that
and let go of the fact that you know
griffi drained all of my magic when we
were supposed to combine them together
so he could start the town and then he
took full credit of it and told everyone
I died of the influenza or small pox or
some [ __ ] like that I don't know but
yeah so like she's like okay I I will
like retract my curse I don't know from
you in the town but then like a moment
and she's like
I'm not strong enough at this point and
like it's too late like the curse is too
strong sorry I
tried you are
cursed did you try grandma and then just
like Vivian collapses to the ground and
when she comes too she's like looking
around and her aunt's
like that was such impressive magic and
she's like but it didn't work I can see
it on your face like don't play G me
don't tell me it was
he still going to
die uh but then she's thinking through
the that she's like wait our blood also
like our bloodline and our magic also
fueled this town so Gwen and Elaine and
viven all go to the caves and then they
all combined their magic and power
to clear out the lay lines I guess okay
yeah it works I don't know sure yeah
that's like Town saved yes Town Check
Yes and like reys was like waiting in
the car so he like pops his head in at
the end he's like so we're
good the lines look like they're running
purple again great work
ladies so now he's like okay I'm no
longer cursed I can confess my love to
viven they're like driving back and she
tells them to pull over and there's a
field where she's like oh like that's
where summer solstice took place like
where we first met when we were 19 and
then they [ __ ] in the car and he's like
I haven't done this in a long time but
then right as
uh right as he's like this is my moment
to declare my love for her and he's like
viven she like nuzzles her her head in
his neck and is like I'm really going to
miss you and he's like oh this was our
goodbye [ __ ] whoops misread that yes and
so when get back to her place she like
invites him in and he's like I am
leaving tomorrow and she's like wait
what and he's like yeah sorry like got
to go back to Wales so they just like
say
goodbye um so
now it's a couple of months ahead
because it's when they said the winter
semester is starting which I would count
winter semester as spring semester that
starts in January yeah was my thought
with it uh and Vivan has picked up a
couple courses that she's going to be
teaching in the magic Department as
well and I guess like recent her a book
for Christmas that was um about like the
history of whales which is what she did
her master's thesis on actually on like
griffi pen Hollow or someone along the
line and he's like oh my family line say
you did your Master's thesis on okay so
he sent her a book but it was just like
for your office sign Reese like no I
miss you no any of that stuff so she's
going over to the magic side of things
and the magic side of the college and as
she's walking down the faculty Hall
she's like seeing all of the placards
with all of their names and is like
whatever arth not and then se's one that
says like r pen Hollow and she's like
and she like opens the door and Rees is
sitting there and he's like yeah
apparently when your ancestors founded
the school and the town it's pretty easy
to get them to agree to let you teach a
course or two
so he said
nepotism he like in the Name of Love
though nepotism in the Name of Love
because he's she's like what about your
travel business he's like I can run that
from here so he decided to pick up and
move to Graves Glenn Georgia to be with
the love of his life uh but also my I
really liked how he communicated it
because he said I realized that
uprooting my life and moving to Georgia
for a woman might fall into the Reckless
and ill-thought out category but the
thing is I'm very much in love with that
woman that woman is you just to be
clear
a that's oddly endearing right that's so
nice there's no epilog that's just like
the last chapter of the book and that's
the end that's a cute story right H and
I do feel like we managed to capture
some of the charm in it yeah but I will
say there was a lot that uh could not be
included just for the sake of time but
yeah if you are looking for just like a
cozy fall read like this is one like
obviously like there's some some sex in
it but like even at that I'm like I
would recommend this one to my parents
yeah like compared to some other [ __ ]
that we have reviewed that I might not
but like this one like yeah very fun
cozy fall
read okay what's our rating system
though um plastic skull yeah plastic SK
skulls skeleton heads I guess sket
candles but like plastic skulls is is
the money I feel Ury Ur candles Ury I
don't know if you're saying that right
uy candle oh yeah you're actually saying
that right wait candle was the
difference there
I was like are you saying a name is that
like a Greek god or something I mean it
sounds right God it's it's a Greek word
yeah I feel like it's a mythology I'm
going to have to Google that [ __ ] yeah
we had some learning to do before we
started recording this episode and
that's on me so plastic skulls it is so
out of how many
um you know most of the book takes place
in October let's go out of 10 okay
um I would say out of 10 I would
probably give
it like an eight oh damn okay yeah I I
think there were like some things and
like some sections that I reread that I
was like eh they were fine but I think
like overall it really is a fun
endearing cozy read yes uh like I'd say
like depending on
what I'm basing it on I feel like I
could like go like 7.5 to 8.5 depending
because if you're going for like the
cute banter and like funny things i' say
like 8.5 I do think there were some
things like that were written a little
clunky for my preferences and that's why
I'd probably say like
7.5 so I think on good reads it has like
a
3.5 uh with like hundreds of thousands
of reviews at this point right um but
yeah so I feel like in that like 3.5 to
like four territory if it's out of five
so I'm like yeah that tracks is like
that's like roughly what I put it at on
our 10 rating scale as well like a
7.58 yeah I mean it feels nice
especially if there are more in the
series I will probably read it I'm going
to add it to my list for sure yes uh cuz
I know that like there are plenty of
books that we read and review and we're
like so glad you reviewed that one or
like yeah oh like I'll add it to my list
but like it's like a niche list that we
are working on and I feel like this one
is just like a very accessible
fun like the the biggest issue I see my
parents taking with it is probably the
magic feel like uh Harry Potter is kind
of the limit there we cannot stand a
witch woo that gets a little dangerous
you know I know it does I know it does
so all right um eight out of 10 plastic
skulls let us know how many plastic
skulls you would rate it don't forget to
like And subscribe um and rate and
review on any platform that you listen
to your podcast uh we're so honored and
glad that you wanted to spend this time
listening to ours so thank you and we
can't wait to do it again thanks guys
bye smut [ __ ] bye smut puppies well
that's it for this week's smut [ __ ]
we hope it was good for you cuz it sure
was great for us if you're digging what
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maybe tell that sexy someone to Linda s
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[Music]