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Welcome to the We Are More podcast.

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My name is Alyssa.

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And my name is Bri.

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We are two sisters passionate about all things faith and feminism.

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We believe that Jesus trusted, respected, and encouraged women to teach and preach His

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word.

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And apparently that's controversial.

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Get comfy.

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Hello world.

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Hello.

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Mostly women.

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Oh, I can hear your lungs.

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I am still not better.

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Like I'm on the mend.

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Don't get me wrong.

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I think you're faking it.

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I think this is the end of week four, Brianna.

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You heard my lungs.

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Plagues last a long time.

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They do.

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It's not a great time.

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Especially when you're a baby about it.

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They said one to three months, but I was like, I'm young, I'm spry.

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It's fine.

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I'm sprightly.

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Turns out I'm not.

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And I don't really appreciate how that makes me feel.

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You're old.

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I'm old.

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I'm old.

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So today we're going to be talking about dating.

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Yeah.

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So much fun.

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The wonderful world of dating.

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Which is mostly going to be on Bre because I haven't dated in 12 solid years.

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And even before that.

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Did you ever really date?

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I didn't, not really.

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Dating sucks.

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I'm just like, there's a whole crop of women out there who have just decided, not because

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they necessarily want to be single, but they're just like, dating's too hard.

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Forget it.

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I mean, really, it sounds horrific.

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Yeah, it is.

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Nathan and I were, I was 19 when we started dating.

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She was a child bride.

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I was very, not when I got married, so when we started dating.

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But I, because I'm old, because I'm elderly, prior to that dating apps had really just

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come out.

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Yeah.

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And so I wasn't on, I didn't even have a smartphone at that point.

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I was not on any dating apps ever.

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So I don't even understand.

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I know swipe right, swipe left.

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And that's like the end of my knowledge of dating in the modern day.

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The modern day of dating.

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So Brie, for those of us like me that were child brides, tell us what it's like.

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What is it like to date on the apps?

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It is offensive.

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It is terrible.

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And it's horrible.

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Those are my adjectives.

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Those are great.

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Good adjectives.

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So I don't know if I'm like the, like, I'm not the biggest dater.

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I'm not going out on dates every second.

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So don't think that about me.

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But I have experienced the dating apps, the Bumble, the Hinge, the Tinder, the what other

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ones are there?

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Girl, I don't know.

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I don't know.

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But it's really a truly terrible experience.

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And you get a little glimpse into how bad the world really is.

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It makes me, again, because I never had to deal with this.

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I dealt with people face to face.

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And it's amazing the difference what men will say to you face to face versus what you've

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said they'll say to you on the apps.

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Oh yeah, 100%.

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I think there's people find so much power behind their phone.

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Like you might be able to see their face on these dating apps, but they can say whatever

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they want.

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So the most experience that I have is on, and please don't go on the apps looking for

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me.

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Like just leave me be.

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But Hinge, considering that I think most of our listeners are women.

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I mean, they could still.

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Don't come looking for me, ladies.

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But I don't think that's how your profile is set up.

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Unless you're very old and close to death and have a lot of money and you're interested

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in a friendship.

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But I'm on Hinge mostly and they have prompts that you can answer about yourself.

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Like this is what I'm looking for in a person and here's two truths and a lie or whatever.

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Just like different things that you can...

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And those go in your profile?

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Yeah.

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Whereas Tinder I think is more like mostly pictures.

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Back in the day with my experience with that.

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Back in the day mostly pictures.

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But yeah, guys will put on their profiles like these whole lists of stipulations.

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Huge, huge lists of, I want a woman who loves the Lord and knows how to cook and is athletic,

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but also she likes to be lazy, but also she wants 47 children.

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But also she also has to have a career and be ambitious.

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But she also has to listen to me because I'm the man.

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Fun.

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It's so hard to be a woman.

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Whereas like, now I haven't looked at other women's profiles, but I know just from my

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friends and myself, we're just looking for someone who isn't terrible.

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The worst?

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Just some of my fun experiences.

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Just because we're in the first couple of minutes, here you can laugh at my sad tragedies.

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One time I was talking to this guy and we had agreed to go out on a date and before

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we went out on the date, he wanted to like talk on the phone.

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I'm like, don't want to do that.

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But I'll meet you in real life.

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So we're talking on the phone and for some reason he's walking around his house and he's

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like, wow, look at this.

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I'm going to send you a picture real quick.

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And I'm like, okay.

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This is a painting that I did when I was in second grade.

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Oh boy.

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And it really is like that pointillism art in second grade.

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Where it's just like little dots of like a leopard or something.

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And I'm like, okay.

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So he colored in one of those Lisa Frank drawings.

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Exactly.

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Cool.

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And then he also sent me a picture of him as a toddler and he played a song on the piano

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and sent it to me and it was truly terrible.

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And I thought, no thank you.

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I can appreciate that someday you will find a lid to your pot, but no thank you.

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It won't be me.

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It shan't be me.

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Wasn't there a guy recently that, boys out there, if you talk to Bree, we're talking

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about you on the podcast.

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So prepare yourselves.

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That said he'd like run over his grandmother or something horrifying.

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Yes.

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Let me pull up the screen shot.

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So on Hinge, you can like like someone and you can send them a message, but in order

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for you to chat back and forth, they have to like you back.

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This particular person, I did not like back.

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Let's see.

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Michael.

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Here we go, Michael.

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Don't say his name.

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I'm not saying his last name, but if you're going to be creepy, I'm going to put you on

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blast.

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He said, I would throw my grandma down a flight of stairs, crawl butt naked, and then throw

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butt naked across broken glass and roll around in salt to take you out.

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Keep in mind, there's no grammar.

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I just, I want to understand.

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I'm sure this is like a pickup line that he found somewhere on the internet, but I want

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to understand what went through his brain that was like, this is going to get this girl

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to talk to me.

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Like what has happened here?

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I don't know.

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Cause I can't call this a man.

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This is, I don't know what's happening here.

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And what's even more frustrating is that they're like, they think that they are the moon and

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the stars.

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They think they're the greatest of all time.

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And meanwhile, they're like, I'm in between jobs and I'm confused, but I also want a woman

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who does this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this.

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Right.

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One of the things I've seen online a lot, and I am not a proponent of traditional living

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and things like that, obviously if you've listened to the podcast at all.

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But one of the things that I've seen online is that men talk so much about wanting this

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traditional lifestyle and they're like, well, then you need to be the man from that story.

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Now, again, I'm not a proponent of this, but if you're going to say, this is a lifestyle

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that I want to live, then you need to be making enough money that her needing a job is not

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necessary.

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Not only not necessary, but it can afford you going on vacation and all your kids' many

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sports that she has to tote them around to and her gym membership and all of this other

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stuff.

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Like, that's all on you, buddy.

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And that's not a way that I'm saying that you should necessarily live, but if you're

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as a man going to push for that, then there are actually expectations on you too.

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You don't just get off scot-free.

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But I feel like these kinds of boys feel like, well, yeah, I'm just going to get a mom.

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I'm going to get a mom and she's just going to take care of me.

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That's how it feels on these dating apps is these boys out here are looking for a housekeeper

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or a mother.

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And I'm just, I think a lot of the women out there are opening their eyes, you know, my

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single woman out there, are opening their eyes and being like, no, you're not adding

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any value to my life.

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You are leaving.

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Goodbye.

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Well, I think, and if we put this in the Christian context, Christian women have this expectation

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put on them in even a bigger way.

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Not that non-Christian women don't have it put on them, because they for sure do, but

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Christian women have it put on them as though if you don't want to live this way, if you're

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not fine with this list of rules and you must be under this many pounds also, you know,

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whatever, then God is pissed at you.

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Then you don't get to go to heaven.

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You don't get to be a good wife.

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You don't get to whatever.

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And I think that's where it becomes even more manipulative.

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Not that it wasn't manipulative before, but where it becomes even worse.

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I saw a TikTok of a girl, and I've been watching, because we've been planning on doing this

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episode, I've been watching a lot of people respond to other videos.

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So it'll be like, there's one, he calls himself Speech Prof, and he will go on and react to,

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the best way I can describe it is like, bro podcast.

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I don't know, he really reacts to a lot of stuff.

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They're these self proclaimed alpha male garbage humans.

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So he'll go on and respond to that.

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Or there's another woman on here that I, she does a really similar thing.

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She's always in her bathroom, and I'm not clear as to why.

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She's got IBS.

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Leave her be!

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That's where she's, she's got to live her life there.

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She's working from home on her toilet.

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I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do.

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But she did one, and she was reacting to this young guy, okay, like these are not all of

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them, but a ton of them.

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In their early 20s, I'm sorry, you think you have life figured out in your early 20s, and

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relationships figured out?

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You do not, just you wait.

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You just super do not.

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Even if you're in a healthy marriage, I did not have relationships figured out in my early

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20s, but it was this man child, and he was on there and he had his laundry list of like

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this is what I expect out of my woman, you know, whatever, because it's never a respectful

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my partner, my spouse, my wife, my woman.

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It's always that.

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Like you have ownership.

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Exactly.

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And so he has his laundry list of whatever, and he's like, and this is how it's supposed

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to be.

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This is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

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And she actually went through, because he said, I'm not looking for a mom, I'm looking for

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a wife, and this is what she needs to do.

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And so this woman reacting to it, she goes, actually, everything you just described is

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what a parent would do, is what a mom would do.

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And your brain is thinking back to when you were a child, and your mom made you dinner,

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and it was comforting, and it was pleasant and lovely, and your mom tucked you in at

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night and, you know, did all these things, and you woke up and the house was clean, and

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you woke up and all the Christmas gifts were wrapped, and you didn't have to do anything

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to make those things a reality, because you were a child.

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And yes, for many of us, those are nice memories.

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Yeah, absolutely.

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Those are comforting moments.

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But the reality is, you are now an adult.

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And so when you put all of this on someone else and take no responsibility yourself,

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now A, you're a garbage human, and B, you're telling your partner she doesn't actually

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have any value to you other than what she can do for you.

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Right.

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00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:33,040
Yeah.

247
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,520
So you are looking for a mom.

248
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:38,880
You just don't want to admit to the fact that you're looking for a mom.

249
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,800
And I don't know about you, but I'm not in the business of being...

250
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:41,800
I got two kids.

251
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,040
I don't want to be anyone else's mother.

252
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:49,360
I'm not a mother currently, and I don't want to be anybody's mother right now.

253
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:53,400
I kind of think it's a lot harder to be a man child's mother than it is to be a child's

254
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:54,400
mother.

255
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,920
There's actually a really good show.

256
00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:00,280
Now I'm only like two episodes in, so keep that in mind.

257
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,080
I don't know how it ends up.

258
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:05,480
But it's called, has the girl from S-Words Creek?

259
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:08,480
Ah, yes.

260
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,200
This show is called Kevin Can F Himself.

261
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,240
Oh, that one.

262
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:13,240
I wanted to watch that.

263
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:14,240
Yeah.

264
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:15,600
So I started it the other day.

265
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:21,200
And everything from the man's perspective, so she's supposed to be married, and her husband,

266
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,240
whenever it's from his perspective, it's a sitcom.

267
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:25,520
Everything is funny.

268
00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:26,640
Everything is great.

269
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:32,400
But when it's from her perspective or she's alone, it's kind of like a drama.

270
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:36,200
And it's very interesting.

271
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,080
It's a good insight into...

272
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,960
Now it's dramatized.

273
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,000
I think that might be some people's reality.

274
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,120
I think it's an interesting show.

275
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:49,040
But something else I want to talk about with online dating for women specifically is the

276
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,320
safety issue.

277
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:55,800
So I've run into it a couple times where you just don't feel comfortable.

278
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:59,480
Especially online dating, you're going to meet someone that you have not met before.

279
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,000
Your friends don't know this person.

280
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:05,240
So you're always telling your friends a safe word or sharing your location.

281
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:09,160
I don't know how many men are having to share their location with their friends when they

282
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:12,600
go out on a date, but that's a woman's reality.

283
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:20,360
And I got a message from someone who was like, hey, do you drive a blah, blah, blah car out

284
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:22,280
of nowhere?

285
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:23,280
And I do.

286
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:27,980
I do drive that blah, blah, blah car.

287
00:15:27,980 --> 00:15:30,840
And so I just wanted to keep tabs on this person.

288
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:33,440
You can only respond back if you like the person back.

289
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:34,440
So I did.

290
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,560
And I was like, just a casual question.

291
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:40,100
Are you stalking me?

292
00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:44,120
And his response was just ridiculous.

293
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:47,840
He goes, no, one, I'm not like that.

294
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:52,280
Two, I haven't had a reason to go to blah, blah, blah since February.

295
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:53,280
So like in your area.

296
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:54,280
Right.

297
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,960
So he's just like immediately trying to justify, of course not.

298
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,520
Here's two reasons why I'm not.

299
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:00,520
Yeah.

300
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,400
Do you actually drive that question mark?

301
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:04,600
So frightening.

302
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,240
It was really bizarre.

303
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:10,600
Also for that to be the first message somebody sends you is wildly specific.

304
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:11,600
Yeah.

305
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,880
Now this could be nothing.

306
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,480
It could be just out of the blue.

307
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,880
I was trying to pick a blind or whatever.

308
00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:22,840
Or you could have seen it in the back of one of your pictures or whatever.

309
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:27,960
A woman's reality is that you always have to be suspicious.

310
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,800
Of course, not all men are like that.

311
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:33,000
Not all men are stalkers, but there's enough men out there.

312
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,480
But there's a percentage.

313
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,480
Yeah.

314
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:41,360
Well, I think there was a survey that they did and they asked men, what is your biggest

315
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,920
fear when online dating?

316
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:49,920
And the overwhelming majority of them said something to the effect of, she won't like

317
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,720
me when she meets me, she'll reject me.

318
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,280
Okay, that's valid.

319
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:56,280
Rejection is a fair...

320
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:57,280
Yeah.

321
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:58,280
Yeah.

322
00:16:58,280 --> 00:16:59,280
Not invalidating that in any way.

323
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:09,120
But when they spoke to the women, the overwhelming majority of them said, being murdered.

324
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:10,120
And that's so true.

325
00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:15,040
I've been on dates where I'm like, yeah, I don't want to go on a second date with this

326
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:16,240
person.

327
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:20,760
But you almost don't want to tell that person right to their face when you're there.

328
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,240
Because you're scared of them.

329
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,400
Because you're scared.

330
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:28,960
Because we have to as women, particularly in the dating scene, and I'm saying this obviously

331
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:38,160
empathetically, but we have to be scared of you until we decide if we don't have to.

332
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:42,560
It's like the courtroom, you're innocent until proven guilty.

333
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:43,840
But the opposite.

334
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:49,360
You're guilty until I have a reason to feel safe around you.

335
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:57,280
And that might sound really extreme, but the reality is if we don't behave that way, we

336
00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:58,280
will get murdered.

337
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:06,920
Yeah, there's a huge percentage of women that wind up as victims because men often don't

338
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,120
treat women with value.

339
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:13,960
And so we have to assume that you're one of those men until you give us a reason not to.

340
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,640
And that's a really tough way to live life.

341
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:21,400
I mean, October was domestic violence awareness month.

342
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:26,200
And some of the statistics on there, if you ever just like go and Google those are crazy.

343
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:37,560
A huge, huge percentage of the murders throughout the year, last year, are from women who are

344
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:40,700
trying to escape their abusers.

345
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:44,840
And more often than not, it's that they knew that person or they were romantically involved

346
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:47,880
in some way with them.

347
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:52,040
So you do have to be careful when you're going out on these dates with random people because

348
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,920
they can say whatever they want on their phones.

349
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,680
Oh, you can turn yourself into the King of England.

350
00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:58,680
Oh yeah.

351
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,840
Whoever you want to be, you get to be.

352
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,480
And I do think women do that as well.

353
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:10,680
But again, the risk for women is very different than the risk for men because statistically

354
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,960
women don't murder men at the same rate.

355
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,120
Like it's just not happening.

356
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:18,920
So it's just a different game that you're playing.

357
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:25,840
You have different risks and I don't think you see these men get really angry when they

358
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:31,720
get rejected or whatever and it's like you don't understand what you're dealing with.

359
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:35,200
You're allowed to be sad.

360
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:38,720
And even maybe you're allowed to be angry if you feel rejected, but you're not allowed

361
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:42,240
to push that anger onto the other person.

362
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,940
They are allowed to reject you.

363
00:19:44,940 --> 00:19:49,480
They are allowed to have their own feelings and they don't have to justify them.

364
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:55,040
Now one of the things I wanted to talk about because we're a religious podcast and Brie

365
00:19:55,040 --> 00:20:01,880
and I have grown up seeing dating differently and being taught about dating differently.

366
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:09,120
I was given a book when I was 13, 14-ish, somewhere in there.

367
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:12,200
I was given a book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye.

368
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:16,480
Oh, I never read that book because I'm illiterate, but I remember that book.

369
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:22,280
So if you've never heard of it, if you were a Christian kid in the early 2000s, you absolutely

370
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:23,940
probably heard about this book.

371
00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:28,920
It was every youth service, parents were into it, whatever.

372
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:33,520
The author has since totally turned around on it and said it was terrible, it ruined

373
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,600
his life, he feels like he's ruined other people's lives.

374
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:44,040
It was a very detrimental book, particularly for girls, but it talks about courting instead

375
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,040
of dating.

376
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:52,360
That's what was presented to us from a lot of different avenues, from church, from family,

377
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:55,560
from the people around us.

378
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,600
That was the ideal.

379
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:04,400
As a good Christian girl, you should want to court, not date.

380
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:08,400
So I looked up courting versus dating so I can give you guys a quick overview of it.

381
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:13,520
Because if you're not from this conservative Christian world, you're like, excuse me, I'm

382
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,760
not back in the medieval times.

383
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:21,720
This is an infographic that I found and it says courting versus dating.

384
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:27,800
So I'm not saying that I agree with these things about dating, but this is what it says.

385
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,160
So courting.

386
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:33,800
Courting is like a promise to make a commitment to marriage.

387
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,920
If you're confused, there you go.

388
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:42,200
Essentially it's saying that courting is planning on marrying this person.

389
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:47,600
You go into the beginning of the relationship planning on marrying this person until they

390
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,480
give you a really good reason not to.

391
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:51,560
And then it says dating.

392
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:56,800
Dating doesn't account for readiness into marriage or long-term commitment.

393
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,920
Now that is not grammatically correct, boys and girls, but that is what it says.

394
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:03,840
So essentially when you start out courting, you're planning on marrying this person until

395
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:05,560
they give you a reason not to.

396
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:09,920
When you start out dating, you're not planning on marrying this person until they give you

397
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:10,920
a reason to.

398
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:12,840
So it's flipped.

399
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,720
So then courting is no physical intimacy.

400
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:19,160
And that depends on the severity of that.

401
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,840
Depends on what kind of conservative Christian you were.

402
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:29,400
It could go for anywhere from don't have sex before marriage to never hold a boy's hand.

403
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:33,080
Don't kiss until you're literally in your marriage ceremony.

404
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,360
Never be alone in the room with this person.

405
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:36,360
Right.

406
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:38,160
You have to have a chaperone anytime you go out.

407
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:41,600
Even if you're well into your 30s, 40s, okay?

408
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,160
That's the expectation sometimes for people that are courting.

409
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:47,120
It depends on the extremeness.

410
00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:50,220
And then it says dating, not waiting until marriage is acceptable.

411
00:22:50,220 --> 00:22:54,520
It doesn't say what, waiting until marriage.

412
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:59,520
Okay, courting, it says usually lasts up to a year.

413
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,040
Dating no timeline.

414
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:05,240
In my mind, I don't really know why.

415
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:08,480
Now we got engaged in eight months.

416
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:09,480
We got married eight months later.

417
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,360
It was very quick.

418
00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:13,960
But I wouldn't prescribe that to other people.

419
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:17,520
That's not something that I would say, this is the ideal and everyone should do this.

420
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:20,320
Well, because everybody's different.

421
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,160
Everybody's relationship is different.

422
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:26,240
Everybody's relationship with relationships is different.

423
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:31,280
Now here's a big one that I, the next two ones are big ones.

424
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:35,080
So courting, family must give permission.

425
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,080
Red flag.

426
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:37,080
Yeah.

427
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:38,080
Red flag.

428
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:42,280
That to me just screams, again, someone has to be an owner of this woman.

429
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,480
She can't have any rights of her own.

430
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,200
She can't make up her own mind.

431
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:47,200
Exactly.

432
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:51,660
It's all about power and men desperately trying to keep that power.

433
00:23:51,660 --> 00:23:56,220
Now this is usually, I'm going to say usually because obviously every situation is different,

434
00:23:56,220 --> 00:24:02,480
but usually it's the girl's father giving permission.

435
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:06,600
No one's asking permission of the boy's mother or father.

436
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:07,600
Exactly.

437
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:13,260
He's making his own decisions, but then someone has to approve him for her.

438
00:24:13,260 --> 00:24:18,400
So yeah, this can be incredibly abused.

439
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:19,760
Yes.

440
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:28,960
It's just extremely concerning because of course you want, not everyone, many people

441
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:33,380
want their family to like their partner or their significant other.

442
00:24:33,380 --> 00:24:34,380
Many people do.

443
00:24:34,380 --> 00:24:37,800
That's a common, I want my family to like Nathan.

444
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:38,800
Of course you do.

445
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,040
Unfortunately I don't.

446
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,880
You are weirdly similar.

447
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:45,320
I don't know what to tell you.

448
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:53,920
But the difference is I want you to like my partner versus will you give me permission

449
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:58,080
to court this person because it's not dating, courting.

450
00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,080
That's a big difference.

451
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:05,080
Now if you were dating someone, and same with me, if I'm dating someone and my family notices

452
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:10,160
red flags on that person, please absolutely come to me and share those out of love and

453
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,680
concern.

454
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:18,880
But ultimately the decision is up to me because it's my life, it's my relationship, I get

455
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:20,320
to make the decisions.

456
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,560
You do not.

457
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:27,460
But in this world of courting, you don't get to make those decisions.

458
00:25:27,460 --> 00:25:34,600
It would be dad saying, you'd bring whoever to dad and say-

459
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:38,320
Justin, record me.

460
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:39,320
His childhood crush.

461
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:40,960
We had a poster of him on our wall.

462
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:44,240
I called him my husband for longer than I should have.

463
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:45,240
Ages.

464
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,360
I think you referenced that fairly recently.

465
00:25:47,360 --> 00:25:50,880
I still consider him my husband.

466
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,960
But you'd bring Jessi on in.

467
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,720
And dad could say yes or no.

468
00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:00,160
A definitive yes or no.

469
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:07,160
And if it's yes, remember the expectation is that you are going to marry this person.

470
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:08,400
You haven't dated them.

471
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:09,400
Exactly.

472
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,640
I feel like it's just not good for women or for men.

473
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:13,800
It's really not.

474
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:18,280
Because you don't give each other a chance to get to know each other without that burden

475
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:20,920
of I need to marry this person right now.

476
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:24,120
And if there's something that I don't like about this person, is it enough to make me

477
00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:25,120
not marry them?

478
00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:26,120
I'm not sure.

479
00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:32,460
Whereas when you're dating, you have the opportunity to slowly get to know this person.

480
00:26:32,460 --> 00:26:36,520
There might be a couple of things that pop up that you might not agree with, but you're

481
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:39,120
like okay, move on.

482
00:26:39,120 --> 00:26:43,700
Well, I think you create...

483
00:26:43,700 --> 00:26:49,160
Christians always say having sex before marriage creates this bond between two people.

484
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,520
And then if you break up, it makes it so much harder.

485
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:53,960
So that was an argument that I always heard as a kid.

486
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:57,720
However, I think courting does the same exact thing.

487
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:01,820
You've created this extreme bond right from the get go.

488
00:27:01,820 --> 00:27:05,960
We are going to get married unless you do something heinous.

489
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,480
Unless you murder some people and whatever.

490
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:13,160
We are going to get married, so I'm going to gloss over all these red flags and whatever.

491
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:17,840
And it's that same bond in a different way.

492
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:22,320
And now should you have to break up, you're now breaking up with someone you were going

493
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:23,320
to marry.

494
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,600
It's a bond that has no foundation.

495
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:27,480
Right, yes.

496
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:29,800
It's a bond that doesn't make any sense.

497
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:33,080
It's like building a house on sand, right?

498
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:40,360
Just when you're dating, you want to build that foundation first and then grow to marriage.

499
00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:45,600
So the last point that they have is the same kind of thing.

500
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:50,440
So the man is usually the one to approach the woman and court her.

501
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,680
So I think that from my...

502
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:59,520
Now I never courted at all, but from my experience seeing other people do it, that's like 100%

503
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:00,720
of the time.

504
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:04,160
The girl is never going to approach the guy.

505
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:09,560
Now I think in dating now, oftentimes that's still kind of there.

506
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:13,680
The guy still is approaching, but it's not like you have to.

507
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:21,560
I think that's the one good thing with online dating and apps is it's kind of flip-flopped.

508
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,120
You can like a person, they can like you.

509
00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:31,160
On some of the apps, like I think it's Bumble, the girl has to initiate the conversation

510
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:34,840
within a certain amount of hours or days.

511
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,040
Otherwise, that match goes away.

512
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:42,800
I'm not an expert on dating, but I'm on there.

513
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:50,240
Yeah, I just remember, and I don't know if you remember this, but there were all of these

514
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,280
purity culture and I'm not going to go all the way into it.

515
00:28:53,280 --> 00:29:01,960
But the amount of seminars, and I don't think they called them seminars, but you'd go to

516
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:08,720
youth group or not kids church, but youth service or whatever.

517
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:17,800
There was so much pressure particularly put on the girls of this is how you need to date.

518
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:22,800
The courting is the ideal way that you need to date to find a good Christian husband that

519
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:28,760
will lead you and make you spiritually sound and blah, blah, blah.

520
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:30,400
Just a poor little lady.

521
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:35,000
There was so much of that even in what I would say were pretty modern churches.

522
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,040
Oh yeah, we went to a purity retreat.

523
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:41,640
Oh yeah, what a funny phrase, a purity retreat.

524
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:48,000
I remember specifically them talking about girls and every time you have sex with a different

525
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:55,360
boy or kiss a different boy, imagine that a piece of your heart goes away with everything

526
00:29:55,360 --> 00:30:00,880
or here's a vase full of little marbles and every time you hold someone's hand, you give

527
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,880
someone a kiss, you take away a marble.

528
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:08,320
And then by the time you finally get around to meeting your perfect husband, you're going

529
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,920
to be an empty vessel and nobody will want you.

530
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,000
And you'll have nothing to give him.

531
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,000
The same is not said to boys.

532
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,200
Not even a little bit.

533
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:21,280
These are said, they're told you just can't control your emotions.

534
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:27,640
It's okay if you go and rake your way across the nation.

535
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:29,840
That's just an expectation.

536
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:35,160
But when it comes down to settling down and finding a wife, you want to find that perfectly

537
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,080
pure snowflake.

538
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:44,240
I just feel like it's so dangerous to girls to be constantly compared to anything other

539
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:45,600
than a human being person.

540
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,600
Oh, it's constantly objects.

541
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:57,400
Your value and worth does not, it does not matter if you've done the deed or whatever,

542
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:01,000
held hands or kissed or whatever it is.

543
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,000
You are enough.

544
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:03,960
You are perfect.

545
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:10,600
And if you decide to take a spouse, that won't matter because they're going to see you for

546
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:11,600
who you are.

547
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:15,880
Kat, for more than just your physical history.

548
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:16,880
Exactly.

549
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:20,760
Like women get compared to used cars all the time.

550
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:25,960
I've heard it been said, oh, you wouldn't want to buy a new car without test driving

551
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:27,520
it first, right guys?

552
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,040
Yeah, but then think of- I'm not a car.

553
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:31,220
Think of the opposite of that.

554
00:31:31,220 --> 00:31:36,920
You do see people say that, but then now she's a used car.

555
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:40,440
And now you don't want her anyway because she's a used car.

556
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:43,600
Who would buy a used car when you could buy a new car?

557
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:44,600
Women are just people.

558
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:45,600
We're just people.

559
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:46,600
We're just people.

560
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,040
Just normal humans.

561
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:49,280
We have emotions too.

562
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,800
Yeah, we have urges too.

563
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:52,800
Thank you for that.

564
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:53,800
You're welcome.

565
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:54,800
Did I make everybody uncomfortable?

566
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:55,800
Sorry about that.

567
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,800
Sorry about all the family.

568
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:03,520
I'm really against purity culture in general.

569
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:10,440
I think we should be teaching both men and women about a lot of things.

570
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:14,040
I think we need to teach people to value each other.

571
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:15,080
Exactly.

572
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:19,280
And not to be so incredibly, horrifically judgmental.

573
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:23,120
Value each other, but really also value yourself.

574
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:30,960
I think that is what I'm seeing a lot on the dating apps is just people struggling because

575
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:33,000
they think that they're not enough.

576
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:34,000
Yeah.

577
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:39,440
And if we could just teach people that it really doesn't matter if you're in a relationship

578
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:40,440
or not.

579
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,120
You just have to find that fulfillment in yourself.

580
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:45,080
And then we'd have a lot more single people out there.

581
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:47,040
But we'd be very happy.

582
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:52,400
I've had this conversation with even my husband often.

583
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,280
And again, we've been together a long time.

584
00:32:55,280 --> 00:33:00,200
But to find value in who you are as a person.

585
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:05,800
And I think in dating, if you could do that, if you could say, I'm valuable enough to say

586
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:08,720
my needs are this.

587
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:15,680
Not to have a laundry list of qualifications for your person, but to say that as a person,

588
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:19,080
I need someone who loves me unconditionally.

589
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:22,400
I need someone who finds value in this.

590
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:28,920
In our case, I need someone that will go to Disney with me a minimum of once a year, potentially

591
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:32,400
more, and just be fine with that.

592
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:36,840
Or is okay with us having a very aggressive feminist podcast.

593
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:41,260
Also that and never leaving each other.

594
00:33:41,260 --> 00:33:43,920
We have this pact, okay guys?

595
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:50,480
I have said a million times, should Brie decide to take a husband, I will have a long, long

596
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:57,440
lecture with him that he is not allowed to take her any more than maybe a 10 minute drive

597
00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:59,960
from me and frankly, I'll be bitter about that.

598
00:33:59,960 --> 00:34:02,840
If you're more than down the road, I'm going to be bitter.

599
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:04,880
So men out there.

600
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:06,920
If you want a date Brie.

601
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:07,920
Potential suitors.

602
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:08,920
Here are the rules.

603
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:13,360
Hey, I do have, well, I don't know if he's stalking you or me, but we did have a stalker

604
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:14,360
on the TikTok.

605
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:15,360
Oh, we did.

606
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:16,360
I ended up blocking him.

607
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:17,360
Yeah, probably for the best.

608
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:18,360
Hey Stalky.

609
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:23,300
And that's another thing I think is interesting for women.

610
00:34:23,300 --> 00:34:31,160
And this is a little bit of an offshoot, but on social media, when women jump into men's

611
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:33,800
comments and say like, oh, you're so hot.

612
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:36,240
I would love to date you.

613
00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:38,360
You know, whatever, whatever the comments are.

614
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:40,000
It's not necessarily threatening.

615
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:44,680
Now I'm maybe it is to some men, I don't know, but it's not necessarily threatening.

616
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:50,440
Whereas we had somebody hop onto our TikTok and comment on quite a few things wanting

617
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:52,120
to talk to us.

618
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:59,520
And again, I don't know who he wanted to talk to, but it felt very threatening because of

619
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:02,240
what women experience online.

620
00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:03,880
There's a really good movie out right now.

621
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:08,400
It just came out on Netflix called Woman of the Hour.

622
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:09,400
I think.

623
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:10,400
That sounds right.

624
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:11,400
Anna Kendrick.

625
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,920
It's her directing debut, but she also stars in it.

626
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:18,300
And it's about, that's the dating game killer.

627
00:35:18,300 --> 00:35:21,880
His name is pause for dramatic effect.

628
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:30,080
His name was Rodney Alcala and he was a serial killer.

629
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:35,280
Kind of happened in the seventies, late seventies, but he is most well known for showing up on

630
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,920
one of those dating game shows.

631
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:40,560
Which the boldness, I mean, I know, crap.

632
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:41,560
I know.

633
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:44,960
Well, that's the thing is like most serial killers are narcissists and they think that

634
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,240
they can get away with anything.

635
00:35:47,240 --> 00:35:54,520
But I really like how Anna Kendrick directed it because a lot of those shows or movies

636
00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:59,760
about serial killers try to get deep into the mind of the serial killer.

637
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:05,320
This one kind of put it in perspective of more of the victims, more of the female experience

638
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:06,820
with that.

639
00:36:06,820 --> 00:36:11,560
So a couple of things that I really liked with it was Anna Kendrick played the contestant

640
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:14,520
on the dating game.

641
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:21,240
And at first all of the people were telling her what questions to ask and change her personality,

642
00:36:21,240 --> 00:36:24,160
change her dress, make sure her hair is perfect, whatever.

643
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:28,240
And then finally her hairdresser and makeup dresser came up to her at some commercial

644
00:36:28,240 --> 00:36:31,500
break and was like, just ask whatever questions you want.

645
00:36:31,500 --> 00:36:36,600
So then she started getting a little feisty and she started calling out these three guys

646
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:39,340
for who they were, which was one was stupid.

647
00:36:39,340 --> 00:36:41,840
One was inappropriate and the other one was a murderer.

648
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:43,360
She just didn't know it.

649
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:46,680
That sounds about par for the course for online dating.

650
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:53,920
So one of the questions she asked was what are girls for?

651
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,960
And I thought that was really powerful.

652
00:36:56,960 --> 00:37:00,640
And all three of the men kind of struggled with the question.

653
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:04,920
And then she asked her makeup artists at another break, how do you think I'm doing?

654
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:06,720
And she's like, oh, you're doing good.

655
00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:09,480
The question, the underlying question is always the same.

656
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:10,820
She goes, what's that?

657
00:37:10,820 --> 00:37:14,500
And she goes, which one of you is going to hurt me?

658
00:37:14,500 --> 00:37:19,760
And that is the underlying question with, I would say most women in the dating world

659
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:23,040
right now is which one of you is going to hurt me?

660
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:24,960
And we're not just talking emotionally here.

661
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,540
We're talking physically.

662
00:37:27,540 --> 00:37:31,140
Which one of you is going to put me in danger?

663
00:37:31,140 --> 00:37:35,160
And I think that men just cannot wrap their heads around that.

664
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:40,140
Like when we've said we would choose the bear over a man in the forest, they're like, why?

665
00:37:40,140 --> 00:37:41,860
Not all men are like that.

666
00:37:41,860 --> 00:37:46,880
But it doesn't matter because a lot of men are and now we have to be wary of all of you.

667
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,720
And the ones that are not dangerous don't take us seriously.

668
00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:55,000
Well, I think that's the sad thing is there are plenty of good men out there and we're

669
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:59,320
actually going to do an episode on what makes a good man soon.

670
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:00,840
I'm excited about that one.

671
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:03,900
But there are plenty of good men out there.

672
00:38:03,900 --> 00:38:10,920
The simple reality is that I can sit and tell a man my experience.

673
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:14,240
I can tell him I've been disrespected by men in this way.

674
00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:17,540
I've been talked down to like this.

675
00:38:17,540 --> 00:38:21,600
You can say I've been made to feel unsafe in dating like this.

676
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:27,440
I can say I've had to run to my car in the dark with my keys in my hands.

677
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:30,240
We can explain all these things.

678
00:38:30,240 --> 00:38:35,560
But the simple reality is I can't make you understand it because you've never experienced

679
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:36,560
it.

680
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:37,560
Exactly.

681
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:45,000
So trust and believe when I say I have experienced this and I would choose the bear.

682
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:50,640
Have enough value of me as a person to say you're telling me the truth.

683
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:56,400
So even though I can't empathize, I'm just going to take it at face value.

684
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,280
Stop arguing with women about their own experiences.

685
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:00,280
Exactly.

686
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:01,280
For heaven's sake.

687
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:02,280
Exactly.

688
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:07,520
One of the things that happened in the movie was one of the girls in the audience was sitting

689
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:14,080
there and recognized the guy who was the killer and said I think that he killed my friend.

690
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:15,080
Wow.

691
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:16,080
So she went to-

692
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:17,080
I wonder if that really happened in real life.

693
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:18,080
I know.

694
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:19,080
I think it might be a dramatization.

695
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:20,080
Dramatization?

696
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:21,080
Yeah.

697
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:22,080
Sure.

698
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:25,400
So she runs crying out to her car and her boyfriend comes out and he's like what's going

699
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:26,400
on?

700
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:28,640
She's like I know that guy and I think he's a killer.

701
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:32,600
And he patronizes her and it was like it's fine.

702
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:34,080
I'm sure it's not.

703
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:35,600
You're just overreacting.

704
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:39,040
I know that was hard for you to go through but it's fine.

705
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:40,960
And she's like get out of my car.

706
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:41,960
Get out of my car.

707
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:45,720
So then she does the best that she can do and tries to go talk to the security guard

708
00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:48,040
at the studio.

709
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,400
And he doesn't believe her either and he's like whatever.

710
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:53,540
Yeah, I'll have you talk to whoever's in charge of the show.

711
00:39:53,540 --> 00:39:54,540
Come with me.

712
00:39:54,540 --> 00:39:55,540
He'll be in here soon.

713
00:39:55,540 --> 00:39:57,240
And she's waiting and she's waiting and she's waiting.

714
00:39:57,240 --> 00:40:01,600
And he lied to her and gave her the name of the janitor.

715
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:08,520
So the last part of the movie was this Rodney guy got a hold of this runaway girl who was

716
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:10,040
young.

717
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,440
And he tried to kill her out in the desert.

718
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:16,200
Wasn't super successful but she did the best that she could do in that moment and said

719
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:17,760
it's okay.

720
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:19,480
Can you just not tell my friends about this?

721
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:21,200
I just don't want them to know.

722
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:26,000
And so she kind of acted like she was the girlfriend to try to get herself out of that

723
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:27,000
situation.

724
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,920
So she's driving to a gas station, he gets out to go to the bathroom, she runs away and

725
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:34,520
calls the cops and that's how they ended up catching him.

726
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:38,880
But that's how women have to survive.

727
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:42,020
And I've seen you do this too.

728
00:40:42,020 --> 00:40:47,360
No fault at all but that you have to say to the guy, oh yeah I had a great time, it was

729
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:49,680
so nice, whatever.

730
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:53,960
And then knowing full well that you don't want to go on another date.

731
00:40:53,960 --> 00:41:00,280
And men will look at that and say, oh she's terrible, she's lying to me, she's a liar,

732
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:02,760
she could have just told me to my face, blah blah blah.

733
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:10,120
But again, you don't understand what, and you and I haven't been through major violence

734
00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:13,400
in this scenario like many women have.

735
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:21,260
But even within that, I mean I've had inappropriate comments from the cashier at Meyer.

736
00:41:21,260 --> 00:41:28,400
I've been afraid in many scenarios, just live in a normal life.

737
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:34,680
Not an overly violent life, not a life where I'm gonna point at things and be like, oh

738
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:37,520
look at this massive trauma.

739
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:44,320
And even so, even within that, there's still all of these little microaggressions against

740
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:47,880
us just walking around as women.

741
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:50,320
Just trying to live life for heaven's sake.

742
00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:56,760
And then if you are too nice too, you have to be careful about being too nice because

743
00:41:56,760 --> 00:42:00,120
now those guys are gonna think that you're flirting with them.

744
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:05,800
That's definitely happened to me where they mistake just being kind as, oh they must love

745
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:06,800
me.

746
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:14,160
Well I think it's because women have had to be so standoffish, so when the occasional

747
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:22,680
woman is nicer, it's like, she's being attention to me.

748
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:26,080
What an unhealthy way to view women as well.

749
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:31,140
The moment that any kindness is shown, it's, oh she likes me.

750
00:42:31,140 --> 00:42:35,520
Or the moment that you have a conversation alone with any man, really, you're like, oh

751
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:37,980
I feel like this is inappropriate.

752
00:42:37,980 --> 00:42:42,080
Because he's going to think something and I can't control it.

753
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:45,800
I can't always walk away.

754
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:48,880
So just dating is hard.

755
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:51,880
Dating is hard.

756
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:57,720
This is again a little bit of topic, but kind of on topic.

757
00:42:57,720 --> 00:43:04,560
When we talk about men wanting these traditional marriages, first of all, I want to make the

758
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:10,060
point that traditional doesn't actually mean anything.

759
00:43:10,060 --> 00:43:12,800
What you want is a 1950s marriage.

760
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:13,800
Exactly.

761
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:20,400
And there are so many historians, including our best friend Beth, who have looked at this

762
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:29,080
and said, okay, traditional to these people, to this subsect of people, the men that are

763
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:36,220
looking for a mom or a traditional housewife, they're looking at, like you said, the 1950s.

764
00:43:36,220 --> 00:43:40,960
This was a period that was kind of an anomaly in history.

765
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,280
So it wasn't even all of the 1950s.

766
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:50,160
I think it was about eight years in there somewhere where this more stay at home wife,

767
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:56,400
hardworking husband that comes home at five and kicks his feet up and she has her pearls

768
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,500
on and makes dinner.

769
00:43:58,500 --> 00:44:06,640
It really was only the reality for some people for a span of eight-ish years.

770
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:12,880
Traditional shouldn't mean you get to just pick a time period and say, this is what makes

771
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:16,960
sense because then you have to keep going back further.

772
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:22,760
The further you go back, women are expected to have jobs.

773
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:28,140
There was a small blip in American history where that was maybe not the case, but the

774
00:44:28,140 --> 00:44:34,800
further back you go, women have to have jobs to support and help their families.

775
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:39,880
Also people of different demographics, people of different races, people outside of the

776
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:43,080
United States all had to do these things.

777
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:48,880
They weren't expected to just be there and making dinner and raising their kids and whatever.

778
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:50,980
So I thought it was really interesting.

779
00:44:50,980 --> 00:44:57,840
Someone I read said, if someone tells you they want a traditional marriage, ask them

780
00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:00,760
why the 1950s are traditional.

781
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:03,020
Like why?

782
00:45:03,020 --> 00:45:04,360
And then I had another thought.

783
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:08,640
I know we did like a, do we do a two-parter on submission?

784
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:10,520
It was two or three, I'm not sure.

785
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:14,160
It was a hot minute ago, we talked about submission.

786
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:17,320
And if you haven't listened to those, go back after this and listen to them.

787
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:18,840
It'll kind of inform this.

788
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:26,360
But the concept of submission within conservative Christianity is that the woman will submit

789
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:28,160
to the man.

790
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:31,960
So what he says goes.

791
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:32,960
Master of the house.

792
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:33,960
I don't know the words.

793
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:39,160
I cut that out of the last episode.

794
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:42,840
Well, it's coming back around.

795
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:50,140
So I had this thought on submission and the boys on the dating apps, that's what they're

796
00:45:50,140 --> 00:45:51,140
asking for.

797
00:45:51,140 --> 00:45:57,320
They're asking for someone that will do their bidding, because of their faith, because God

798
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:58,320
said so.

799
00:45:58,320 --> 00:46:03,080
And I don't know if you can hear the sarcasm absolutely dripping out of my mouth.

800
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:10,760
But I was thinking about it and I was thinking about it in comparison to the Israelites.

801
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:16,200
So in the Bible, the Israelites are finally free and they're living in their own land

802
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:22,080
and whatever, and they ask God for a king.

803
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:25,960
Because everybody around them has a king and they want to be like everybody else, as many

804
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:28,840
people do, as humanity does.

805
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:31,840
They were weird because they didn't have a king and who was going to lead them?

806
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,000
They needed someone to tell them what to do.

807
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:38,360
And God said, no, I am your king.

808
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:39,560
I've got you.

809
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:45,140
You don't need an intermediary of a king between you and me to tell you what to do.

810
00:46:45,140 --> 00:46:46,560
I will tell you what you need to do.

811
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:50,640
I'll tell you where you need to go and I'm perfect.

812
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:53,440
So I will never lead you astray.

813
00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:56,000
But the Israelites really struggled.

814
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,080
They really struggled.

815
00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:00,000
As we all do.

816
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:01,000
As we all do.

817
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:03,480
Let's not hate too much on the Israelites.

818
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:06,400
And they said, no, we want a king.

819
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:08,000
Give us a king.

820
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:12,160
Because everybody else has a king and we feel weird.

821
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:19,360
And so finally, God said, okay, because if you fight God hard enough, he will give you

822
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:22,380
usually what you ask for.

823
00:47:22,380 --> 00:47:23,520
Not necessarily riches.

824
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:27,240
I'm not saying riches and whatever, but something like this.

825
00:47:27,240 --> 00:47:29,840
They fought God and finally God was like, all right, I'll give you a king.

826
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:32,880
I will give you an imperfect human king.

827
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:35,120
And I'll give you a lesson too.

828
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:37,360
And it went incredibly poorly.

829
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:40,800
Historically, this did not go great for them.

830
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:43,160
They had a lot of bad kings.

831
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:48,040
Even the kings like David that you would look at and say, overall, maybe wasn't the worst.

832
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:54,760
We just did three episodes on Bathsheba on a portion of his life where he was horrific.

833
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,240
So this is not a good decision, right?

834
00:47:57,240 --> 00:48:02,920
This was a human decision that the Israelites made in spite of what God wanted for them.

835
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:10,320
Not that we all wouldn't have made the same request of God, but that's what they did.

836
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:16,280
And so I started asking myself, if God looked at his people and said, I don't want to give

837
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:18,360
you an intermediary.

838
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:25,120
I don't want to put a person, an imperfect person between you and I.

839
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:29,040
Why would he create marriage like that?

840
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:35,260
Why would he look at women who are just as much his people, who are just as much made

841
00:48:35,260 --> 00:48:45,480
in his own image, and say, you aren't valuable enough to me to speak directly to?

842
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:50,160
You need someone between you and I, and I'm going to stick your husband there.

843
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:51,400
He's not perfect.

844
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:52,400
He's going to screw up.

845
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:53,800
He's going to lead you astray.

846
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:57,320
But for some reason, I'm going to put him there.

847
00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:58,320
Now compare those two things.

848
00:48:58,320 --> 00:48:59,320
It's the same story.

849
00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:00,320
Yeah, exactly.

850
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:05,280
God is not going to put someone between you and him.

851
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:10,680
When boys on dating apps say, I want a submissive wife, or I want to be the head of my household,

852
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:17,880
or I'm an alpha male, or whatever garbage language they want to use, ask them, why would

853
00:49:17,880 --> 00:49:25,920
God put you, little boy, between him and I?

854
00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:28,360
God will talk directly to me.

855
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:30,560
He will tell me what he wants of me.

856
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:36,240
He will tell me what I should be doing with my own life.

857
00:49:36,240 --> 00:49:38,400
He's not going to tell you first, and then you get to tell me.

858
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:40,440
That doesn't make any sense.

859
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:45,400
Because a game of telephone is always going to end poorly.

860
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:46,400
Yes.

861
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:51,160
See Adam and Eve.

862
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:54,200
I was thinking a lot about that, and I thought that was really interesting to think about,

863
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,600
to compare those two things.

864
00:49:56,600 --> 00:50:02,880
I would love if you guys, those of you out there that are dating, if you come across

865
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:07,920
a boy on one of these apps that's saying things like this, I beg of you, ask him that question,

866
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:11,640
and then message it to us on TikTok, because I want to hear about it.

867
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:13,200
Because that's what I've been doing.

868
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:17,680
Not necessarily that, but I've been, okay, if you're going to act like a creep, I'm

869
00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:20,400
going to take a screenshot of it, and I'm going to save it and tell my friends about

870
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:21,400
it.

871
00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:25,800
You're going to tell the world about it at this point.

872
00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:28,400
Take your screenshots of your terrible dating experiences.

873
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:34,160
Yes, we would love to do a part two eventually of this, and weave in all of your experiences

874
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:37,160
and see what you have to say.

875
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:43,000
Side note, yeah, I did have a guy tell me that he wanted a traditional life, and he

876
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:44,840
wanted to be the head of his household.

877
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:46,400
I was like, tell me more.

878
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:48,400
What do you mean by that?

879
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:51,560
And I went off, and then we broke up.

880
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:52,560
Darn.

881
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:59,680
I don't know, I think it's so interesting to watch men have to defend that point too.

882
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:01,160
And then they backpedal.

883
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:02,160
Oh, they do.

884
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:04,160
They're like, oh, no, no, no, yeah, I do want a partnership.

885
00:51:04,160 --> 00:51:05,160
I do want this.

886
00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:11,960
I do agree with you until we get married and things get flipped around.

887
00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:16,760
Because if you can get, I guess tricked is what I want to say, because if you're going

888
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:21,580
to lie about that ahead of time, you're tricking someone into marrying you on false pretenses,

889
00:51:21,580 --> 00:51:26,520
and if they can manage that, now it's much harder for you to leave.

890
00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:30,920
Not that you can't, and I certainly encourage if you feel that you're being abused in a

891
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:35,640
situation like this, I certainly encourage you to leave, and I believe God encourages

892
00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:37,640
you to leave as well.

893
00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:41,760
But it's harder, and they know that.

894
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:42,760
Yes.

895
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:47,840
I mean, we've said this before, and we'll say it 10 times over again, God cares so much

896
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:50,800
more about you than he does about marriage.

897
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:51,800
Or dating.

898
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:52,800
Or dating.

899
00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:58,560
Or X, Y, Z. He cares so much more about you.

900
00:51:58,560 --> 00:52:01,160
You are God's child.

901
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:06,040
The institution of marriage is not.

902
00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:08,560
Dating is not.

903
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:14,420
Your ideal position in life as a woman is not to get married.

904
00:52:14,420 --> 00:52:18,920
If you find someone and you want to get married, if you want to take a husband, that's great.

905
00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:20,460
Do it.

906
00:52:20,460 --> 00:52:22,840
But that is not your ideal station as a woman.

907
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:28,920
Also, look for someone who is going to add value to your life.

908
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:34,840
Please do not settle, and if people are telling you to lower your standards in any way, shape,

909
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:38,460
or form, I would say raise them even higher.

910
00:52:38,460 --> 00:52:40,480
Keep them sky high.

911
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:46,440
Keep them so high that only the right person is going to be able to climb that wall.

912
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:53,240
Because if you're being the best version of yourself, and you're really trying hard to

913
00:52:53,240 --> 00:52:58,920
just be happy and content with yourself, you should be able to find someone who is bringing

914
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:02,560
that same level and value to your life.

915
00:53:02,560 --> 00:53:04,880
Not someone who's going to bring you down.

916
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:06,720
Not someone who you have to settle for.

917
00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:08,560
That's been said to me so many times.

918
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:13,960
Like, I know he did this, and he was inappropriate this way, and he was kind of, you know, that's

919
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:18,200
a little bit of a red flag, but maybe you just go out one more time.

920
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:19,680
It's okay, just try one more time.

921
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:24,880
No, if he's going to act that way on day one, or day 20, it doesn't matter.

922
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:25,880
Leave him!

923
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:31,940
Well, because the concept is a woman is not worth as much if she's not married.

924
00:53:31,940 --> 00:53:35,960
So that's where it's coming from, is people are like, well, no, you have to be with someone

925
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:37,600
to have value.

926
00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:39,720
It's, you don't.

927
00:53:39,720 --> 00:53:44,120
It is, I think, harder for people to relate to single people in some ways.

928
00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:48,240
I've had so many people say, you know, when are you getting your MRS degree when you're

929
00:53:48,240 --> 00:53:49,240
in college?

930
00:53:49,240 --> 00:53:51,640
That's the only reason you went to that school, right?

931
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:53,840
Or just, are you dating anyone?

932
00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:54,840
Are you talking to anybody?

933
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:55,840
Are you liking anybody?

934
00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:57,800
Is anybody liking you?

935
00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:00,040
I can't wait till the day you get married.

936
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:01,040
Yes.

937
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:03,040
Or you're just so beautiful.

938
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:05,000
You're just so beautiful.

939
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,240
How has no one found you yet?

940
00:54:07,240 --> 00:54:11,960
Those are all things that have been said to me, but particularly the beautiful one.

941
00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:17,880
Yes, I'm delightfully beautiful.

942
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:19,560
But it will be okay.

943
00:54:19,560 --> 00:54:21,360
You don't have to find a man.

944
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:25,040
Or if you want to, I don't have any advice.

945
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:30,920
I think we've given a lot of advice over the last hour.

946
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:37,160
But one thing I did want to end on, and this is definitely off topic, we're, but timely.

947
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:42,640
So, this episode should come out right after the election.

948
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:47,320
And I wanted to say, and I don't know, this is, we're recording this several days ahead,

949
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:48,880
so I don't know who won.

950
00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:50,760
I don't know what happened.

951
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:52,960
I know how I chose to vote.

952
00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:55,760
And I'm not going to share that because you don't need to know.

953
00:54:55,760 --> 00:54:57,160
But I also know how I vote.

954
00:54:57,160 --> 00:55:02,760
I do not even, I don't think it's like a secret.

955
00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:09,440
I just wanted to say, as, I don't know if all of you out there are people of faith,

956
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:16,120
but for those of you that are, and even for those of you that are not, whatever happened,

957
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:18,520
I know some of us are scared right now.

958
00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:21,280
I would say the majority of us.

959
00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:26,400
Many many people on both sides are going to be afraid of whatever happens.

960
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:31,200
And as people of faith, I hope that we can just sort of remember that God knew what was

961
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:32,200
going to happen.

962
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:33,200
This is not surprising.

963
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:37,720
God knew what was going to happen when he created the world in the election of 2024

964
00:55:37,720 --> 00:55:40,080
in the United States.

965
00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:42,720
And he's got this.

966
00:55:42,720 --> 00:55:47,480
Well, like we were talking about earlier, we really only have one true king.

967
00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:48,860
And he is perfect.

968
00:55:48,860 --> 00:55:52,040
And he's going to take care of us.

969
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:54,600
And hindsight is 20-20, right?

970
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:59,720
So when we look back on these years, a million years from now, because we're going to all

971
00:55:59,720 --> 00:56:00,720
live till a million.

972
00:56:00,720 --> 00:56:01,720
Oh dear.

973
00:56:01,720 --> 00:56:04,560
We're going to see how God carried us through.

974
00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:06,440
I have to live to a million?

975
00:56:06,440 --> 00:56:07,440
Yes.

976
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:10,600
I am already going crazy.

977
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:12,640
What will happen?

978
00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:18,040
Science and technology is going to preserve us until the year one million.

979
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:20,320
All right.

980
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:22,360
I'm sorry.

981
00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:27,440
No, but I just I just wanted to make that point of whoever, whichever side is feeling

982
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:32,520
afraid, even if you're kind of in the middle ground and you're feeling afraid, God has

983
00:56:32,520 --> 00:56:34,480
us covered.

984
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:35,480
He always has.

985
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:37,160
He always will.

986
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:38,160
He knew what was going to happen.

987
00:56:38,160 --> 00:56:39,160
He knows what's going to happen tomorrow.

988
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:43,720
He knows what's going to happen through whatever presidency this is.

989
00:56:43,720 --> 00:56:47,120
And I think we're going to be okay.

990
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:49,520
I think we're going to be okay.

991
00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:50,520
Is there a song there?

992
00:56:50,520 --> 00:56:51,520
I just don't know.

993
00:56:51,520 --> 00:56:57,600
Now Bree's just going off the cuff.

994
00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:58,600
All right.

995
00:56:58,600 --> 00:56:59,600
So we'll see.

996
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:00,600
No, there was a song.

997
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:01,600
Every little thing is going to be.

998
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:02,600
Yeah, that was a song.

999
00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:03,600
That was a song.

1000
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:04,600
You can't yell at me.

1001
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:05,600
You didn't know.

1002
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:06,600
Goodbye.

1003
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:07,600
All right.

1004
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:13,640
So next week, ideally, I will be slightly better.

1005
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:14,640
I'm doubting it.

1006
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:15,640
Me too, man.

1007
00:57:15,640 --> 00:57:21,280
Anyway, we're going to do an episode on the concept of being still.

1008
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:23,640
I'm very excited about it.

1009
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:25,280
I'm being still right now.

1010
00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:28,780
It's going really poorly, guys.

1011
00:57:28,780 --> 00:57:32,720
And just talking about what it's like, because there's a verse, if you aren't familiar with

1012
00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:37,280
it, be still and know that I am God, and it gets thrown out all the time.

1013
00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:39,720
It is on all of the Christian merchandise.

1014
00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:40,720
Just walk into a hallmark.

1015
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:41,720
Walk into a Hobby Lobby.

1016
00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:43,480
Oh my gosh.

1017
00:57:43,480 --> 00:57:44,480
And just stop.

1018
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:47,480
Because I told you to.

1019
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:50,280
But we're going to talk about that.

1020
00:57:50,280 --> 00:57:53,920
And the context of it biblically so that it's not just a single verse that we're throwing

1021
00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:54,920
at you.

1022
00:57:54,920 --> 00:57:55,920
Yeah.

1023
00:57:55,920 --> 00:58:00,760
And what it means as a Christian, as a person of faith.

1024
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:01,840
A POF.

1025
00:58:01,840 --> 00:58:03,840
To be still, what that commitment is.

1026
00:58:03,840 --> 00:58:05,880
We'll just go into it.

1027
00:58:05,880 --> 00:58:08,880
So we'll be excited to see you for that.

1028
00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:09,880
Yay.

1029
00:58:09,880 --> 00:58:10,880
Yay.

1030
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:11,880
All right.

1031
00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:12,880
We'll see you guys next week.

1032
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:13,880
Bye.

1033
00:58:13,880 --> 00:58:14,880
Love you, bye.

1034
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:26,780
How are you?