WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:09.889 --> 00:00:13.309 Speaker: Welcome everyone to Faith and Purpose podcast. 00:00:14.070 --> 00:00:19.250 Each episode of this podcast contains the personal testimony of an ordinary person 00:00:19.269 --> 00:00:22.010 transformed by an extraordinary God. 00:00:22.680 --> 00:00:25.840 My name is Kaylin and I'm here to introduce this podcast 00:00:25.849 --> 00:00:27.380 for my friend Jesse Duke. 00:00:27.990 --> 00:00:33.459 Jesse is a husband, father, author, life recovery guide, lay counselor, 00:00:33.940 --> 00:00:38.020 and small group leader, but his most important role is disciple. 00:00:38.460 --> 00:00:39.910 As a disciple of Jesus. 00:00:40.390 --> 00:00:44.480 Jesse created this podcast to help other believers tell their faith stories. 00:00:45.030 --> 00:00:48.830 We'll be hearing the personal testimonies of all sorts of people 00:00:48.830 --> 00:00:52.760 who have one thing in common, Jesus has transformed their lives. 00:00:53.665 --> 00:00:57.755 Jesus used parables because he created us to learn best through story. 00:00:58.185 --> 00:01:02.975 And as we listen to how God has worked in others lives, we find encouragement 00:01:02.985 --> 00:01:05.275 and inspiration for our own faith walk. 00:01:05.764 --> 00:01:10.135 Whether you are already a believer or just a curious seeker, we believe that 00:01:10.155 --> 00:01:14.444 as you listen to these stories, you will be encouraged on your own faith journey. 00:01:14.744 --> 00:01:19.154 We are sure that God can speak to you through one of these episodes and that you 00:01:19.154 --> 00:01:23.244 will see that our Heavenly Father truly works all things together for our good. 00:01:23.580 --> 00:01:25.490 When we simply love and trust him. 00:01:26.190 --> 00:01:29.560 If you are currently going through a trial, we believe that you will come 00:01:29.560 --> 00:01:34.350 to see that your troubles, heartbreaks, and failures are not gravestones, but 00:01:34.380 --> 00:01:36.950 stepping stones into new life in Christ. 00:01:37.380 --> 00:01:39.370 Here's Jesse with today's guest. 00:01:54.392 --> 00:01:57.182 Welcome everybody to faith and purpose podcast. 00:01:57.902 --> 00:02:02.492 This would be a different kind of episode than the previous ones, because we have a 00:02:02.492 --> 00:02:08.122 married couple clay and Casey claimer and their beautiful newborn daughter Emerson. 00:02:08.512 --> 00:02:09.802 All together today. 00:02:11.002 --> 00:02:12.922 This is episode 21. 00:02:13.012 --> 00:02:15.112 And just to bring all up to speed. 00:02:15.712 --> 00:02:21.022 We had Casey on episode 19, who told her story and then her husband clay 00:02:21.022 --> 00:02:24.532 was on episode 21 just before this one. 00:02:25.492 --> 00:02:26.512 Telling his story. 00:02:27.472 --> 00:02:31.042 And if you hear some baby noises in the background, it's just 00:02:31.072 --> 00:02:33.022 little Emerson chairman in. 00:02:34.682 --> 00:02:38.582 if you haven't heard episodes 19 and 20, it would be helpful if you went back 00:02:38.582 --> 00:02:40.532 and listened to each of their stories. 00:02:41.132 --> 00:02:45.872 This episode will be both of them telling how God's been working in their lives. 00:02:46.172 --> 00:02:50.132 Since they each received Jesus and allowed him to be in charge. 00:02:51.212 --> 00:02:52.022 So Casey. 00:02:52.712 --> 00:02:55.382 You were into witchcraft and the new age and all that. 00:02:55.382 --> 00:02:59.762 And you told about how you had randomly read your Bible in the past 00:02:59.762 --> 00:03:01.622 and how it was a mystery to you. 00:03:01.872 --> 00:03:05.412 You were unable to understand it, but then one day you opened it up 00:03:05.412 --> 00:03:08.652 to the book of Deuteronomy and all of a sudden you were able to get it. 00:03:10.002 --> 00:03:13.302 And you got convicted about your lifestyle and then, and through 00:03:13.302 --> 00:03:17.292 a series of events and burglar rating, things began to change and. 00:03:17.952 --> 00:03:19.572 And you gave your life to the Lord. 00:03:20.562 --> 00:03:24.672 And, shortly after that, as a result of Casey's new direction, 00:03:24.672 --> 00:03:29.682 you clay began knocking on God's store and Jesus came to you in a. 00:03:29.962 --> 00:03:31.072 Dramatic way. 00:03:31.452 --> 00:03:33.192 And you were radically transformed. 00:03:33.222 --> 00:03:35.992 I don't want to retail it for you, but if anyone. 00:03:36.182 --> 00:03:39.542 Wants to hear it taking, go back to the last part of episode 00:03:39.542 --> 00:03:41.102 20, to hear all about that. 00:03:41.392 --> 00:03:44.415 but I want to to hear all about what is going on today 00:03:44.415 --> 00:03:46.065 in your marriage and your life. 00:03:46.605 --> 00:03:50.555 And how the Lord has been leading both abuse Since all this happened. 00:03:51.219 --> 00:03:53.349 So who wants to start? 00:03:54.232 --> 00:04:04.002 Jesse: Let 00:04:04.207 --> 00:04:11.017 Clay: how it was when I converted to Christianity before Clayton did, because 00:04:11.467 --> 00:04:17.817 that period of time was so important, I feel for my own sanctification. 00:04:18.227 --> 00:04:19.777 And then for his. 00:04:20.447 --> 00:04:25.477 Breakthrough because I know, I think as a Christian, we all know what it's like 00:04:25.487 --> 00:04:33.337 to try to help someone see the truth and how hard and painful that can be, how 00:04:33.337 --> 00:04:39.447 traumatizing, how it can be really hard because people have this idea of what 00:04:39.447 --> 00:04:46.242 Christianity is, him and I come from very, I would say, Liberal families. 00:04:46.472 --> 00:04:51.192 So growing up in a family where the Bible was seen more as the enemy 00:04:51.392 --> 00:04:59.322 politically, then as a political weapon, then as a faith, even if 00:04:59.322 --> 00:05:02.552 we were growing up Catholic, I think, later on in our childhoods. 00:05:02.552 --> 00:05:03.522 I can't speak for him. 00:05:03.522 --> 00:05:04.477 I can speak for me. 00:05:04.827 --> 00:05:11.257 It was seen as roped into a whole, political ideology and not a something you 00:05:11.257 --> 00:05:15.637 would want to do or want to look into or investigate, Christians were like crazy 00:05:15.637 --> 00:05:21.157 people, that were like, super conservative and pro life and all these things, right? 00:05:21.157 --> 00:05:22.937 So I'm raised thinking like that. 00:05:22.947 --> 00:05:28.037 So I had a heart for where Clayton might be coming from when I converted. 00:05:28.037 --> 00:05:33.187 And I was like, man, I know how crazy I must seem to my family and to him. 00:05:33.187 --> 00:05:38.037 Cause I had, testified to my family, in person, what had happened to me. 00:05:38.627 --> 00:05:41.877 So I had done that and I, and they knew what was going on. 00:05:44.172 --> 00:05:46.782 it came to, I'm in this relationship with this man. 00:05:46.802 --> 00:05:47.802 We're not engaged. 00:05:47.802 --> 00:05:48.642 We're not married. 00:05:48.652 --> 00:05:49.402 We're dating. 00:05:49.402 --> 00:05:53.602 We're both divorced, both living at home with our parents. 00:05:53.652 --> 00:05:56.122 And I was completely in love with him. 00:05:56.122 --> 00:05:57.272 I really loved him. 00:05:57.822 --> 00:05:59.782 I really wanted to stay with him. 00:05:59.782 --> 00:06:04.282 I really wanted to be with him, but I knew that it wasn't going 00:06:04.282 --> 00:06:06.802 to be easy to be with him. 00:06:07.042 --> 00:06:08.962 If I was a Christian, he wasn't. 00:06:09.652 --> 00:06:12.602 And I talked to a few Christians at church and they said, do not 00:06:12.602 --> 00:06:13.702 yoke yourself with an unbeliever. 00:06:15.147 --> 00:06:20.457 That's a biblical scripture about how if you're a Christian, it's not 00:06:21.207 --> 00:06:27.697 recommended by God to marry or be, marry a non Christian or an unbeliever. 00:06:27.737 --> 00:06:30.807 Now, a lot of people are in marriages where one is a believer and one's not. 00:06:30.807 --> 00:06:34.617 I understand those dynamics definitely exist for many reasons. 00:06:35.392 --> 00:06:39.542 I'm just here to speak on what I was looking for after my conversion, which 00:06:39.542 --> 00:06:44.762 was a relationship that was built on God, the true God, and not this like other God 00:06:44.762 --> 00:06:47.502 that I've been idolizing for many years. 00:06:48.412 --> 00:06:50.842 So I, I wasn't sure what to do. 00:06:50.922 --> 00:06:55.482 I knew that I could talk to him about it, but I would have to be careful. 00:06:56.017 --> 00:06:57.347 And how I did that. 00:06:58.137 --> 00:06:59.547 And, I prayed a lot. 00:06:59.547 --> 00:07:03.927 I prayed for him a lot during that time. 00:07:04.257 --> 00:07:09.197 I also did start to change our relationship and what I was willing 00:07:09.197 --> 00:07:10.687 to do and not willing to do. 00:07:10.687 --> 00:07:11.267 I had to. 00:07:11.627 --> 00:07:15.347 Tell him I would not marry him if he was an unbeliever. 00:07:15.357 --> 00:07:17.057 That was not a fun conversation. 00:07:17.457 --> 00:07:22.257 I had to tell him we were no longer going to be engaging in, some 00:07:22.367 --> 00:07:25.317 premarital sex as we had been. 00:07:25.447 --> 00:07:26.137 it was hard. 00:07:26.137 --> 00:07:27.717 I had to like ladies. 00:07:28.582 --> 00:07:31.812 Boundaries down because of God and I did them willingly. 00:07:31.862 --> 00:07:37.212 I knew that it's what God wanted and it was what the scripture talks about. 00:07:37.222 --> 00:07:41.892 And I knew that this was part of my sanctification and I had to trust God that 00:07:41.902 --> 00:07:44.782 he knew what he was doing, in our lives. 00:07:44.782 --> 00:07:48.452 And so I was like, no matter how this plays out, I have to be okay with it. 00:07:48.502 --> 00:07:51.732 if Clay walks away, I have to be okay with it. 00:07:52.217 --> 00:07:53.377 And I would pray to God. 00:07:53.487 --> 00:07:57.407 eventually my prayers became less selfish and more sounding. 00:07:57.407 --> 00:08:00.077 And I meant to more sounding God, I would rather clay be 00:08:00.077 --> 00:08:01.677 a believer than stay with me. 00:08:02.207 --> 00:08:05.887 I think it's more important for him to have an eternal life 00:08:05.887 --> 00:08:09.197 with you, not separated from you than it is even be with me. 00:08:09.317 --> 00:08:13.317 So even if he breaks up, I just want him to become a believer. 00:08:13.702 --> 00:08:14.452 No matter what. 00:08:14.472 --> 00:08:15.912 So I just started praying for that. 00:08:16.512 --> 00:08:19.622 not, outside of our relationship, because I felt no matter how 00:08:19.622 --> 00:08:22.342 this plays out, I really want that for him more than anything. 00:08:22.992 --> 00:08:27.922 So I, we did start having conversations of course, regarding 00:08:27.922 --> 00:08:32.632 Christianity, regarding, my faith and my conversion and his response 00:08:32.632 --> 00:08:34.082 would often be, I already did that. 00:08:34.082 --> 00:08:35.132 I'm never doing that again. 00:08:35.582 --> 00:08:38.852 Meaning I'm never going to be a Christian again, referring to his Catholic. 00:08:39.672 --> 00:08:41.732 Catholicism upbringing. 00:08:42.602 --> 00:08:44.252 And I was like, Oh no. 00:08:44.282 --> 00:08:48.852 But I'm like, he said never before, so I'm not going to let that be the end. 00:08:49.062 --> 00:08:52.702 So I would keep pushing sometimes and I would push back really hard. 00:08:53.112 --> 00:08:57.912 If he started to get theological with me, I would start, quoting what 00:08:57.912 --> 00:09:01.902 little scripture I knew and, just telling him, look, This is the truth. 00:09:01.912 --> 00:09:03.012 I wouldn't be here. 00:09:03.062 --> 00:09:05.862 I wouldn't like lie to you. 00:09:06.242 --> 00:09:07.402 I just think it's the truth. 00:09:07.442 --> 00:09:08.172 I believe it. 00:09:08.602 --> 00:09:13.722 And so we would have these, philosophical debates, have you, or theological debates. 00:09:14.217 --> 00:09:18.367 And sometimes it would end up with me storming out of a restaurant and 00:09:18.367 --> 00:09:23.237 crying on a bench outside because I was like, I don't know what else to say. 00:09:23.237 --> 00:09:24.477 I don't know what else to do. 00:09:24.497 --> 00:09:26.857 It would get really, it would get rough. 00:09:27.477 --> 00:09:30.997 And, somehow we were still together after all that. 00:09:31.587 --> 00:09:33.347 And, that's when he ended up 00:09:35.417 --> 00:09:36.797 a trip to Colorado. 00:09:37.467 --> 00:09:41.657 And we also had started from a friend's recommendation 00:09:41.657 --> 00:09:43.697 watching the show The Chosen. 00:09:44.512 --> 00:09:46.902 And, I wasn't sure what to think about it. 00:09:46.902 --> 00:09:48.552 Like some Christians say you don't watch it. 00:09:48.552 --> 00:09:49.542 Some Christians love it. 00:09:49.572 --> 00:09:53.062 So I was like, at this point, I don't know if much can hurt our relationship. 00:09:54.542 --> 00:09:56.192 I'm like, it's already pretty rocky. 00:09:56.202 --> 00:09:58.412 So I'm like, let's see if he wants to watch it. 00:09:58.742 --> 00:10:02.652 That we started watching that and I could see he was interested 00:10:02.892 --> 00:10:04.862 in the characters and the story. 00:10:05.162 --> 00:10:06.712 And I would, we would sit and watch the episodes. 00:10:06.712 --> 00:10:08.272 I'm like, Oh, I know what's going to happen. 00:10:08.392 --> 00:10:10.592 And he's like, how do you know what's going to happen? 00:10:10.592 --> 00:10:12.512 I'm like, cause it's in the Bible. 00:10:14.537 --> 00:10:17.417 So yeah, about that time he goes to Colorado. 00:10:17.467 --> 00:10:22.277 So I'm like fully prepared for him to end our relationship and to walk away. 00:10:22.277 --> 00:10:26.057 But at the same time, I can tell he really loves me and he wants to make it work. 00:10:26.557 --> 00:10:30.037 So that's where we left off before his conversion. 00:10:30.057 --> 00:10:31.007 It was really hard. 00:10:31.017 --> 00:10:32.027 It was totally. 00:10:33.082 --> 00:10:36.822 I've never done something so hard in a relationship as I did that. 00:10:37.669 --> 00:10:41.469 So it sounds As much as you wanted to be with clay, you were willing to. 00:10:42.129 --> 00:10:43.509 Just let him go. 00:10:43.509 --> 00:10:45.189 If he wasn't going to be a believer. 00:10:45.339 --> 00:10:47.169 It sounds like you were more. 00:10:47.889 --> 00:10:51.879 Interested in seeing him gain eternal life in Christ and to. 00:10:52.329 --> 00:10:54.039 Compromise to be with him. 00:10:54.902 --> 00:10:55.472 That's true. 00:10:55.472 --> 00:10:55.892 Love. 00:10:56.469 --> 00:11:00.409 Clay: I knew God was reading my heart about this and that's how God 00:11:00.409 --> 00:11:04.029 always, I think, works with us as he reads your heart and you really have 00:11:04.029 --> 00:11:05.379 to get to a place where you don't. 00:11:05.619 --> 00:11:09.059 for me, I often believe if my prayer is not being answered yet, it's because 00:11:09.059 --> 00:11:10.959 my heart is not in the right place. 00:11:11.009 --> 00:11:14.369 I'm not seeing things clearly as God would like me to see 00:11:14.369 --> 00:11:16.089 them for my own sanctification. 00:11:16.389 --> 00:11:19.989 Whether I'm praying for a financial breakthrough or a job breakthrough 00:11:19.999 --> 00:11:24.159 or a relationship breakthrough, I'm like, okay, I have to start. 00:11:24.519 --> 00:11:28.469 Something's not moving in this, in the direction I think it should move. 00:11:28.469 --> 00:11:29.689 what, where's my heart at? 00:11:30.019 --> 00:11:34.479 So I, I learned early on, like even just a baby Christian. 00:11:34.479 --> 00:11:35.979 I was like, okay, my heart needs. 00:11:36.464 --> 00:11:40.424 To really find the right place for him as a person who loves him. 00:11:40.784 --> 00:11:44.664 So yeah, I totally did begin to pray God, I'm okay if, I know 00:11:44.664 --> 00:11:48.324 you'll take care of me, but I really, I'm praying for his soul. 00:11:48.364 --> 00:11:51.004 Like he, I want him to know you. 00:11:51.884 --> 00:11:54.524 And I would tell God he would be a great Christian God. 00:11:56.234 --> 00:11:58.274 And I'm like, look at all he's done in the new age. 00:11:58.274 --> 00:12:00.264 Think of how much he would do for you. 00:12:00.724 --> 00:12:02.494 And then I thought, look at. 00:12:03.149 --> 00:12:06.249 I just thought of all the things he would do as a Christian as 00:12:06.249 --> 00:12:07.679 a believer that would help God. 00:12:07.689 --> 00:12:10.129 And so I just would start praying into that. 00:12:10.599 --> 00:12:15.494 not that God needs us, but just knowing I just knew if he I even told my mom, 00:12:15.544 --> 00:12:16.944 I said, and she's not a believer. 00:12:16.944 --> 00:12:21.034 I said, mom, if he converted life, just think of what he would be 00:12:21.034 --> 00:12:24.674 like, not wanting him to change his personality or anything. 00:12:24.674 --> 00:12:26.364 Just thinking about, wow. 00:12:26.414 --> 00:12:28.204 if he's so passionate about. 00:12:28.604 --> 00:12:32.484 Mindfulness and Buddhism and Taoism and all these things. 00:12:32.504 --> 00:12:34.294 Think how passionate he would be for the Lord. 00:12:34.674 --> 00:12:41.384 So I would, keep that in mind too, of that feeling of he would be a 00:12:41.384 --> 00:12:43.804 great, just a great man of God. 00:12:43.804 --> 00:12:44.604 if he found the truth. 00:12:44.614 --> 00:12:45.649 So I pray for that. 00:12:47.194 --> 00:12:47.734 Jesse: Okay. 00:12:47.734 --> 00:12:49.024 Clay, I interrupted you. 00:12:49.024 --> 00:12:50.464 You were about to say something. 00:12:50.464 --> 00:12:51.004 Go ahead. 00:12:52.589 --> 00:12:59.039 Clay: Yeah, no, it's, so if you remember that the image that I ended with was, like 00:12:59.039 --> 00:13:04.779 an animal that was struggling like a wet cat and fighting and you come up, come 00:13:04.779 --> 00:13:10.829 across this animal and want to help it and it's just scratching and fighting and and. 00:13:11.449 --> 00:13:20.859 that as an allegory for my relationship with God and just the theme of God drawing 00:13:20.859 --> 00:13:25.669 me near to him and drawing me closer. 00:13:25.689 --> 00:13:34.209 And so looking back, I believe that, the Bible tells us that God knows our heart. 00:13:35.164 --> 00:13:39.264 And so I believe that God, he reaches out for people and he loves 00:13:39.324 --> 00:13:47.094 all people, not just ones that are believers and that he loved me so 00:13:47.104 --> 00:13:52.664 much that he put Casey in my life 00:13:54.974 --> 00:14:01.214 and allowed me to fall in love with her before I was saved. 00:14:02.039 --> 00:14:07.699 before I knew him and he knew, and so he knew it was like Casey was like the, 00:14:07.699 --> 00:14:11.139 worm on the hook and, fishers of men. 00:14:11.189 --> 00:14:14.849 and so I, I believe that this is how I look at. 00:14:17.744 --> 00:14:19.644 look at my life and my relationship. 00:14:19.644 --> 00:14:28.824 And so I think, it's just beyond us to understand exactly how big and awesome God 00:14:28.844 --> 00:14:31.344 is and how and just how much he loves us. 00:14:32.134 --> 00:14:42.664 So I think that part of the story is You know, I got hooked on Casey and then 00:14:44.804 --> 00:14:50.464 slowly because I was so far from him and, sometimes with children, 00:14:50.464 --> 00:14:51.764 you need to give them these. 00:14:52.204 --> 00:14:55.564 incentives, and God, our God is a good dad. 00:14:55.644 --> 00:14:57.404 He's really a good father. 00:14:57.424 --> 00:15:02.024 And I think that's exactly how he treated me. 00:15:02.094 --> 00:15:04.494 and Hey, just look at this for a second. 00:15:04.494 --> 00:15:09.249 and then, so I don't know if that's, Maybe that cheapens the, but that's 00:15:09.249 --> 00:15:11.569 just the, that's just the experience. 00:15:11.629 --> 00:15:21.669 when like Casey went silent, for about a week or so, I just didn't 00:15:21.669 --> 00:15:24.239 hear from her and I, I was like, I don't know what I did, but I'm 00:15:24.259 --> 00:15:27.149 gonna, I'm just gonna hope it's okay. 00:15:27.219 --> 00:15:31.949 And I think she told a little bit about what happened during that week for her. 00:15:32.489 --> 00:15:33.259 But she 00:15:35.829 --> 00:15:39.679 in that week found Christ and gave her life to Christ. 00:15:39.679 --> 00:15:40.289 And then 00:15:42.529 --> 00:15:49.139 she reemerged from that silence and, broke the news to me, and 00:15:49.139 --> 00:15:50.399 it was really hard for her. 00:15:50.409 --> 00:15:54.189 It was hard for her because she was so happy, but then she 00:15:54.189 --> 00:15:58.029 had this burden of I think that 00:16:00.869 --> 00:16:06.039 I guess one of the principles I really want to highlight in my story 00:16:06.039 --> 00:16:11.989 was it's a little bit, the way I was saved is really fantastic and epic. 00:16:13.069 --> 00:16:15.639 and praise God for that, because I think I like. 00:16:16.394 --> 00:16:24.647 Again, I needed some God knew what he knew what I needed, and in, in general, I think 00:16:24.647 --> 00:16:30.377 the Christian walk in the regeneration that happens when you accept Christ into 00:16:30.377 --> 00:16:38.182 your life and the regenerative, spirit, and the, sanctification process and is 00:16:38.182 --> 00:16:47.292 slow and it's gradual and it's internal, and so it was, it was very, epic. 00:16:48.102 --> 00:16:56.707 And also it's been a lifetime for us, I'm 40 and Casey's 33 and that's, time of a 00:16:56.747 --> 00:17:04.597 gradual process of coming to the Lord, and being marked and set apart for the Lord. 00:17:04.597 --> 00:17:06.957 Now that we've actually given our lives to Christ. 00:17:09.402 --> 00:17:11.402 and surrendered our lives to him. 00:17:12.422 --> 00:17:20.732 And there is, it's not a mechanistic growth. 00:17:20.772 --> 00:17:27.542 It's a slow, gradual growth, like a flower, or botanical growth, like you 00:17:27.542 --> 00:17:30.582 see a plant or a tree and it's alive. 00:17:31.802 --> 00:17:33.792 But you can't see it growing. 00:17:34.537 --> 00:17:35.347 Jesse: Oh, that's good. 00:17:35.527 --> 00:17:35.857 Yeah. 00:17:35.912 --> 00:17:38.732 Clay: don't see it, you don't see it growing, but you know that 00:17:38.732 --> 00:17:44.822 it's alive and you, and that's how it feels to have Christ now. 00:17:45.022 --> 00:17:50.232 and so I just wanted to, I just wanted to say that too, that for 00:17:50.252 --> 00:17:57.957 other people, for every person that has a story like mine, which is You 00:17:57.957 --> 00:18:03.607 know, exciting this rapid growth. 00:18:03.617 --> 00:18:07.257 I want to say this before I talk about this rapid thing that God did 00:18:07.257 --> 00:18:13.947 in our life, that for every one of those stories, there's 20 stories of 00:18:13.957 --> 00:18:17.757 people who are waiting on the Lord, who nothing is happening, who they're 00:18:17.767 --> 00:18:20.657 having hardship after hardship, and just. 00:18:21.587 --> 00:18:26.187 on their knees and just not knowing, like not seeing it, not feeling it. 00:18:26.217 --> 00:18:27.307 And that's okay. 00:18:27.777 --> 00:18:32.767 God is bigger than a feeling and he's bigger than a rapid, 00:18:34.047 --> 00:18:35.217 like it happened like that. 00:18:35.227 --> 00:18:39.897 This, what I'm about to describe, it happened like this for us, but 00:18:39.897 --> 00:18:41.847 now we're in a different season. 00:18:41.987 --> 00:18:44.567 and it doesn't always happen like that. 00:18:44.577 --> 00:18:46.357 Sometimes it's a lifetime. 00:18:48.087 --> 00:18:53.137 Of, and for us it was too, it just culminated in us getting saved in this 00:18:53.137 --> 00:18:59.417 way and dovetailing together and get all these gifts that you're now I'm now 00:18:59.417 --> 00:19:03.827 in front of you here doing this podcast with a wife and child, it's beyond my 00:19:03.827 --> 00:19:09.537 mind to understand how did that happen so quickly and that, but that it's slow 00:19:10.367 --> 00:19:10.607 Jesse: Yeah. 00:19:11.197 --> 00:19:14.327 Clay: it's gradual and that it, everybody's story is different. 00:19:14.327 --> 00:19:17.307 So people out there, if they're listening, don't. 00:19:18.282 --> 00:19:24.022 Be discouraged if your story is slower or different or, it's just 00:19:24.022 --> 00:19:27.332 beautiful, whatever, wherever you're at in your relationship or your 00:19:27.342 --> 00:19:32.802 journey into believing and just turning to the Lord, because what, 00:19:32.812 --> 00:19:34.902 that's what happened for me was. 00:19:36.247 --> 00:19:39.627 Casey came back and broke the news to me. 00:19:39.627 --> 00:19:44.027 And initially I was like, okay, this should, hopefully this will wear off soon 00:19:44.597 --> 00:19:46.547 and we can get back to what we were doing. 00:19:47.147 --> 00:19:55.147 and then in my heart, I could know, I knew because she had this piece. 00:19:55.652 --> 00:19:56.402 over her. 00:19:56.932 --> 00:20:00.722 And it was, I couldn't believe it because she had literally 00:20:02.802 --> 00:20:04.282 given up her life. 00:20:04.382 --> 00:20:09.672 for the listeners out there to understand, like we were like going to 00:20:10.082 --> 00:20:22.182 events and doing psychic And we were so involved in, yeah, we, it was, you 00:20:22.182 --> 00:20:26.852 can't get more, like more, you can't drink the Kool Aid more than we drank. 00:20:27.012 --> 00:20:27.792 we were. 00:20:28.467 --> 00:20:33.097 If I could, people that know me and my parents could attest to this is seeing 00:20:33.097 --> 00:20:35.787 my room and the things I had on my walls. 00:20:35.787 --> 00:20:38.217 And it was shocking. 00:20:38.227 --> 00:20:39.587 It's shocking looking back. 00:20:39.952 --> 00:20:43.862 All of a sudden Casey gave all that up pretty much her whole life 00:20:43.862 --> 00:20:45.852 and identity in a week's time. 00:20:47.772 --> 00:20:49.682 I couldn't understand why she was happy. 00:20:50.362 --> 00:20:51.292 And peaceful. 00:20:52.042 --> 00:20:57.562 And, she says that she was firm and what she was firm on what she believed. 00:20:59.152 --> 00:21:04.882 And that's totally different person because she was peaceful. 00:21:05.262 --> 00:21:10.432 There wasn't all this, something happened to her and I could see it. 00:21:11.462 --> 00:21:17.072 And God laid everything out in a way where if it was anybody but 00:21:17.072 --> 00:21:18.252 her, I would have walked away. 00:21:19.792 --> 00:21:26.962 But because I already loved her and God allowed us to be together, even if even 00:21:27.292 --> 00:21:32.072 we were taking it upon ourselves to do simple things that aren't ordained by God. 00:21:32.082 --> 00:21:36.242 but in the larger scheme, like we were able to meet each other and. 00:21:38.897 --> 00:21:46.527 And so in a sense, I was hooked and I was curious enough because I loved her. 00:21:46.607 --> 00:21:49.217 I was curious enough about what was going on. 00:21:49.747 --> 00:21:57.137 And I knew I had this understanding of her life because we were so close 00:21:58.107 --> 00:22:03.007 and before she was saved, like, all we would talk about was this unquote, 00:22:03.057 --> 00:22:07.327 spirituality, and all these things, like we would just do this stuff together. 00:22:07.327 --> 00:22:12.957 And so I had this deep, intimate relationship with her, which 00:22:12.957 --> 00:22:15.057 involved this deep spirituality. 00:22:15.057 --> 00:22:20.197 And all of a sudden that spirituality was gone and Christ was there. 00:22:22.287 --> 00:22:27.807 And as an outsider, that's a different experience. 00:22:28.117 --> 00:22:31.947 Christ is a different experience than any other thing. 00:22:32.607 --> 00:22:33.907 It's not a brick wall. 00:22:33.957 --> 00:22:34.327 it's. 00:22:34.822 --> 00:22:41.622 If you want him, if you want to see him and open your heart, if you're open, if 00:22:42.962 --> 00:22:45.312 there's something there for you to find. 00:22:45.772 --> 00:22:53.922 And so what I saw in Casey, although it was in, I felt my flesh at the time 00:22:54.012 --> 00:22:58.962 felt hurt and dejected and defensive. 00:23:00.732 --> 00:23:02.852 underneath that, my heart was curious. 00:23:03.637 --> 00:23:06.507 what happened to this woman in a week? 00:23:07.167 --> 00:23:08.837 What's in that book? 00:23:08.987 --> 00:23:13.387 And so even though my mouth was saying to her, like, how could you believe that? 00:23:15.587 --> 00:23:21.927 My heart was curious and trying to make sense of it. 00:23:21.927 --> 00:23:26.037 if you go back and listen to my episode, you'll understand that about me is I was 00:23:26.057 --> 00:23:29.997 trying to fit it into my understanding of. 00:23:30.962 --> 00:23:36.682 even if we weren't going to be able to work out, I wanted to know why I wanted 00:23:36.682 --> 00:23:38.362 to know what is it that happened to her. 00:23:39.362 --> 00:23:41.702 And like I said, she was different. 00:23:41.712 --> 00:23:50.152 She just had a confidence and a peace and a love that I could tell that her 00:23:50.152 --> 00:23:53.622 love surpassed this material world. 00:23:56.087 --> 00:24:00.677 Like this material relationship we had in this physical, ourselves, 00:24:00.777 --> 00:24:08.787 like that there was a love that she had for me that went beyond this 00:24:09.507 --> 00:24:11.227 relationship that we had built. 00:24:12.087 --> 00:24:14.707 And I was mad. 00:24:14.767 --> 00:24:16.677 I was mad because I didn't feel that. 00:24:17.367 --> 00:24:21.107 So I think deep inside us, like you mentioned in the beginning, it's 00:24:21.117 --> 00:24:28.727 like this yearning for God and, Jesus is God and there is only one God. 00:24:28.737 --> 00:24:31.507 And so ultimately our heart yearns for him. 00:24:31.977 --> 00:24:33.607 But there's all this stuff in the way. 00:24:33.617 --> 00:24:34.387 And that's what it was. 00:24:34.737 --> 00:24:35.707 And it was just hard. 00:24:35.737 --> 00:24:38.567 And so we went, we were fighting, arguing. 00:24:41.417 --> 00:24:46.517 And so in the 3D world, I we were both like Casey had surrendered the 00:24:46.547 --> 00:24:48.887 relationship and was just praying. 00:24:48.987 --> 00:24:50.637 Like when she said she prayed for me. 00:24:50.637 --> 00:24:54.067 she prayed probably no one has ever prayed for me. 00:24:54.997 --> 00:24:57.207 To be say it to be saved and stuff. 00:24:57.477 --> 00:24:59.697 And she just said, I know you don't like this. 00:24:59.697 --> 00:25:01.307 I know that you don't believe in this. 00:25:01.357 --> 00:25:03.227 Would you just watch this show with me? 00:25:04.117 --> 00:25:06.827 And I'm thinking, okay, sure. 00:25:07.462 --> 00:25:07.942 Why not? 00:25:07.972 --> 00:25:11.182 if this is the end of our relationship and this woman that loved me and I 00:25:11.202 --> 00:25:14.572 loved her, if this is going to be the end, like I might as well just 00:25:14.622 --> 00:25:20.942 end good, I might as well not be like a complete, bitter person, and 00:25:20.942 --> 00:25:25.422 watching that show, it gave the chosen. 00:25:25.422 --> 00:25:25.772 Yeah. 00:25:25.792 --> 00:25:29.722 It gave me a mental picture of 00:25:32.272 --> 00:25:34.272 Christ and his life. 00:25:34.937 --> 00:25:37.057 So I highly recommend that show to anybody. 00:25:37.752 --> 00:25:43.782 Not sure it's just check it out because it made me think and the 00:25:43.782 --> 00:25:46.182 guy that plays Jesus is really good. 00:25:46.182 --> 00:25:50.572 And, so it's somehow I'm a very image based person. 00:25:50.572 --> 00:25:54.562 So it somehow just was like, okay, that's what everyone's talking about. 00:25:54.612 --> 00:25:55.372 that's what it must. 00:25:55.402 --> 00:25:56.852 That's what he must be like, because. 00:25:57.517 --> 00:26:04.367 Sometimes it doesn't translate from words on a page to, to, like an image for me. 00:26:04.417 --> 00:26:08.587 so that was like set the, like in a way till the soil a little bit, 00:26:08.587 --> 00:26:11.467 but it, it didn't go all the way. 00:26:11.747 --> 00:26:14.857 it just satiated my curiosity in a sense. 00:26:15.292 --> 00:26:19.852 And then, like I said, I left, and then I left for Colorado and got on that 00:26:19.852 --> 00:26:25.672 plane, and Casey and I had a conversation beforehand, and I fully expected that 00:26:25.672 --> 00:26:33.082 our relationship would end, because I knew it couldn't continue, and I 00:26:33.132 --> 00:26:38.022 didn't believe, and I'm not the kind of person that can pretend to believe. 00:26:39.507 --> 00:26:41.977 I'm just, I'm not that guy. 00:26:42.017 --> 00:26:44.717 Like I'm, I thought about that. 00:26:44.717 --> 00:26:45.887 I was like, I could do that. 00:26:45.907 --> 00:26:47.387 And I was like, no, I can't. 00:26:47.647 --> 00:26:50.957 I'm not, I'm just not, I'm not that person. 00:26:50.987 --> 00:26:52.057 I can't do that. 00:26:52.117 --> 00:26:53.947 you can't do it for somebody else either. 00:26:53.997 --> 00:26:57.317 Like you're not the kind of person to just bend your will and just 00:26:57.327 --> 00:26:59.257 be like, Oh, I'll do it for you. 00:26:59.747 --> 00:27:00.537 Don't do that. 00:27:00.987 --> 00:27:02.007 Yeah, anything. 00:27:02.017 --> 00:27:05.117 No, but this is what I mean about. 00:27:05.147 --> 00:27:08.457 I'm just trying to tie this back to the beginning is the 00:27:08.467 --> 00:27:11.297 way that everything unfolded. 00:27:12.757 --> 00:27:16.687 God, what happened with Casey? 00:27:17.477 --> 00:27:20.017 Let's just say that it made me want to believe 00:27:23.337 --> 00:27:27.357 And that's why I believe that God allowed everything to happen the way 00:27:27.357 --> 00:27:31.137 he did because he loves me and he wants to bring me into his flock. 00:27:31.757 --> 00:27:38.357 And it was only through this unique circumstances with this woman that I 00:27:38.357 --> 00:27:42.907 would ever even want to believe I wanted. 00:27:42.907 --> 00:27:46.537 so that's where it left me is I got on a plane ready for everything to 00:27:46.537 --> 00:27:52.357 go and you can go back and listen to my episode, but there was a spark of 00:27:52.357 --> 00:27:54.757 there of wanting to but not believing. 00:27:58.317 --> 00:27:59.767 And to me, that's a nil. 00:28:00.367 --> 00:28:01.357 it's like a fraction. 00:28:01.357 --> 00:28:02.307 It just cancels out. 00:28:02.337 --> 00:28:08.047 It doesn't you get to zero if you know And i'll say this for the people 00:28:08.047 --> 00:28:12.757 listening that if you're in that place right now It's not a zero. 00:28:12.827 --> 00:28:18.837 It's a big deal that you want to believe is everything and don't be afraid or 00:28:18.837 --> 00:28:25.617 scared or upset with yourself that you're not there yet because that's 00:28:25.617 --> 00:28:30.727 the seed of life And that's where I was 00:28:33.692 --> 00:28:37.542 And then if you want to listen to my episode, you'll hear what happened 00:28:38.422 --> 00:28:44.272 to actually cause me to surrender and bend my knee and surrender my life 00:28:44.282 --> 00:28:46.732 to Christ in my trip to Colorado. 00:28:50.652 --> 00:28:54.022 So all that, so that happened 00:28:56.302 --> 00:29:02.842 and I had that experience, which only God can provide to move my 00:29:02.842 --> 00:29:05.312 heart and reveal himself to me. 00:29:05.952 --> 00:29:11.952 But what happened at the same time was I just turned to him. 00:29:13.272 --> 00:29:16.262 So I wanted to believe, but there was no activation. 00:29:16.332 --> 00:29:19.432 And then I had this experience in Colorado where I actually had 00:29:19.432 --> 00:29:23.132 an activation and asked the Lord. 00:29:23.697 --> 00:29:30.157 I took the leap of not knowing him and not while not believing. 00:29:30.157 --> 00:29:31.707 I took the leap to. 00:29:32.402 --> 00:29:39.892 Talk to something and someone and believe in on someone that I didn't know and there 00:29:39.892 --> 00:29:47.752 he Was and i'll never Be able to thank him enough in all the ways that everything 00:29:47.762 --> 00:29:56.207 happened like that and then after that, like I, in my episode, I shared, but it 00:29:56.207 --> 00:30:00.827 just happened right away that all of a sudden, through mysterious circumstances, 00:30:00.897 --> 00:30:03.807 I was able to graduate my program. 00:30:04.207 --> 00:30:09.097 And I knew in that moment, when I surrendered to Christ, I also 00:30:09.097 --> 00:30:13.247 surrendered to the love and the plan that He has for us. 00:30:13.617 --> 00:30:17.187 And I knew, and in that moment, I knew I was gonna, I was gonna marry Casey. 00:30:18.227 --> 00:30:23.017 That was my first priority and what's funny about this for everyone listening 00:30:23.017 --> 00:30:24.837 is I did not believe in marriage 00:30:27.207 --> 00:30:31.097 Before I got on the plane to go to Colorado, I had no interest 00:30:31.097 --> 00:30:33.247 in marriage or kids or anything 00:30:33.707 --> 00:30:38.927 I was just trying to have fun and feel good and Enlighten myself 00:30:39.037 --> 00:30:41.457 right was this a new age mo, right? 00:30:41.857 --> 00:30:44.307 it's all you it's all what you want to do for you 00:30:44.712 --> 00:30:45.032 Jesse: So 00:30:45.227 --> 00:30:48.667 Clay: Underneath it, all the, whatever the talk they're talking is, that's what 00:30:48.667 --> 00:30:51.117 it's about and that's what it leads to. 00:30:51.257 --> 00:30:52.587 So that's what I was about. 00:30:52.697 --> 00:30:57.171 And all of a sudden I had this burning desire to get married. 00:30:57.792 --> 00:31:03.379 Jesse: let me just go, just for clarity, so when you went to, Colorado, y'all 00:31:03.379 --> 00:31:08.849 were having this issue, this major issue in your relationship, Casey was, 00:31:09.619 --> 00:31:13.419 Saying that she really couldn't be with you if you weren't a believer, 00:31:13.419 --> 00:31:18.849 but she couldn't force you or make you a believer, so it was up to you. 00:31:18.849 --> 00:31:20.359 You had to do something. 00:31:20.839 --> 00:31:26.122 what I'm hearing you say is that you really weren't wanting to be a Christian 00:31:26.132 --> 00:31:27.852 so that you could be with Casey. 00:31:27.852 --> 00:31:30.102 You just, you really wanted the truth. 00:31:30.807 --> 00:31:36.857 and that's what you were seeking, and then after this experience with Jesus, 00:31:37.107 --> 00:31:44.657 it's like he infused you with this desire, these, this new desire to actually, leave 00:31:44.657 --> 00:31:49.067 your old life and do the right thing and get married and, it's not like you were 00:31:49.077 --> 00:31:51.017 orchestrating all this in your mind. 00:31:51.017 --> 00:31:54.127 It just came to you as a result of this experience. 00:31:54.747 --> 00:31:55.277 Am I right? 00:31:55.607 --> 00:32:01.457 Clay: and in a larger sense, Casey, you can tell me what you think, but we both, 00:32:01.617 --> 00:32:06.887 what I, what looking back is we both had to surrender each other because we 00:32:06.887 --> 00:32:13.337 had placed each other in the, in this, in a way and spot where God goes Casey. 00:32:14.057 --> 00:32:19.847 found God and that knocked me out of the spot where I used to be and 00:32:20.007 --> 00:32:25.612 I was And basically throughout, throughout the time I had surrendered 00:32:25.622 --> 00:32:29.762 to, by the time I got on the plane, I had surrendered the relationship. 00:32:29.762 --> 00:32:33.422 Cause you were ready for it to, you were like prepared mentally for it to end. 00:32:33.432 --> 00:32:33.782 Yeah. 00:32:33.782 --> 00:32:37.502 you had come to some kind of term that I had come to term of. 00:32:38.397 --> 00:32:40.657 This relationship is not going to continue 00:32:40.787 --> 00:32:41.397 like it is. 00:32:41.537 --> 00:32:44.817 Yeah, there was no way it could have continued as it was that last month. 00:32:44.817 --> 00:32:47.357 Cause it was just miserable and I was sad. 00:32:47.367 --> 00:32:52.127 And I was like, I really love this woman, but I had to, it didn't work out 00:32:52.267 --> 00:33:00.157 and so I had let go and surrendered the relationship and the difference at that 00:33:00.157 --> 00:33:05.967 time was Casey had Christ in that place where he belongs top, and I had nothing. 00:33:06.607 --> 00:33:08.227 And I was wanting and yearning. 00:33:08.297 --> 00:33:11.687 and so I knew, I thought the relate, I knew the relationship was done, 00:33:13.157 --> 00:33:15.857 but then I still want, I still didn't know what to do with that hole. 00:33:16.142 --> 00:33:16.552 Jesse: yeah. 00:33:16.987 --> 00:33:23.357 Clay: and then God, by his grace and mercy, gave me that opportunity, 00:33:23.357 --> 00:33:24.667 surrendered to him and I did. 00:33:26.137 --> 00:33:31.317 And my heart, it was like really clear about the image of a heart 00:33:31.317 --> 00:33:33.097 of stone to a heart of flesh, 00:33:33.897 --> 00:33:37.477 believe that's the journey I'm on now with Christ. 00:33:37.487 --> 00:33:42.897 That's going to last the rest of my life and turning into a heart of flesh, 00:33:43.317 --> 00:33:46.837 learning how to really love and be loved. 00:33:48.787 --> 00:33:49.417 but yeah. 00:33:49.417 --> 00:33:51.217 So then, so yes, you're right. 00:33:51.267 --> 00:33:54.737 and then all of a sudden the ho the Holy Spirit just moved in me 00:33:54.737 --> 00:33:56.957 and I had this burning desire. 00:33:57.687 --> 00:34:01.597 I wa it was a ha I was happier than I've ever been because if you listen 00:34:01.597 --> 00:34:05.077 to my episode, you'll know that I've been like how Patrick was and if few 00:34:05.077 --> 00:34:08.347 episodes back, seeking my whole life 00:34:09.552 --> 00:34:09.882 Jesse: Yeah. 00:34:09.932 --> 00:34:11.282 Clay: and to finally have found. 00:34:11.772 --> 00:34:17.132 I really wasn't a new per, felt like a new person. 00:34:18.582 --> 00:34:21.042 and I knew I was like, I'm going to marry Casey. 00:34:22.452 --> 00:34:24.052 And I, we, I went back 00:34:26.122 --> 00:34:33.112 and I proposed to her at my graduation party a week later, I like literally 00:34:33.112 --> 00:34:35.212 went back, got a ring, proposed to her. 00:34:35.222 --> 00:34:36.652 And I was like, we're getting married. 00:34:36.732 --> 00:34:41.002 And it was like, you did tell me though, that you were, you believed. 00:34:41.662 --> 00:34:43.462 Because otherwise I wouldn't have said yes. 00:34:43.492 --> 00:34:43.752 yeah. 00:34:44.262 --> 00:34:47.892 I told her about, I told her about, I told her that I accepted Christ 00:34:48.032 --> 00:34:52.482 and I think that was probably one of the happiest moments of our life. 00:34:53.922 --> 00:34:54.562 And, 00:34:56.082 --> 00:34:56.832 Jesse: tell me about that. 00:34:57.372 --> 00:34:58.522 How did that come about? 00:34:58.692 --> 00:34:59.622 How did you tell them? 00:35:00.777 --> 00:35:01.747 Clay: it's a blur. 00:35:01.767 --> 00:35:04.747 I just, it was like, it's like being on a roller coaster 00:35:04.747 --> 00:35:05.867 or something when it's over. 00:35:05.867 --> 00:35:06.627 It's yeah, go ahead. 00:35:06.947 --> 00:35:11.087 so when he was in Colorado, he was texting me and we were talking 00:35:11.087 --> 00:35:12.777 on the phone when we could. 00:35:13.307 --> 00:35:15.117 Between his classes and stuff. 00:35:15.117 --> 00:35:19.437 And he was telling me things about what work he was doing. 00:35:19.487 --> 00:35:24.317 and he did tell me about the songs I had sent him, the Christian songs I had 00:35:24.317 --> 00:35:26.327 sent him and how much they touched him. 00:35:26.377 --> 00:35:31.927 and he, did you tell me about the vision you had with Jesus or did you wait? 00:35:34.407 --> 00:35:34.937 all happened. 00:35:35.187 --> 00:35:37.007 It really all happened so fast. 00:35:37.287 --> 00:35:39.267 Like I accepted Christ. 00:35:40.167 --> 00:35:45.877 That same day, miraculously, I was allowed to graduate. 00:35:46.282 --> 00:35:49.122 And I was like, Conversations were very interesting. 00:35:49.352 --> 00:35:53.452 I was trying to piece together what was going on, but all I could say is 00:35:53.662 --> 00:35:58.092 all I knew is God was working in his life and I could see it very clearly. 00:35:58.092 --> 00:36:00.002 I was like, okay, God's really moving. 00:36:00.372 --> 00:36:01.612 In his life right now. 00:36:01.612 --> 00:36:06.582 And I just have to sit, wait patiently, don't interfere with it. 00:36:06.592 --> 00:36:09.032 Just let him go through at that point. 00:36:09.032 --> 00:36:13.642 I was like, I'm not going to continue arguing with him about theological 00:36:13.652 --> 00:36:15.522 things, really over this trip. 00:36:15.522 --> 00:36:21.272 I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna wait patiently and, see what happens. 00:36:21.272 --> 00:36:24.852 And so during that trip, it was interesting. 00:36:24.852 --> 00:36:28.402 He was doing this presentation, I remember, and he was like, Finding out 00:36:28.402 --> 00:36:30.632 all these crazy things about his college. 00:36:30.632 --> 00:36:33.932 He was going to, that he was graduating from this college in 00:36:33.932 --> 00:36:36.592 Colorado and it's a Buddhist college. 00:36:36.592 --> 00:36:41.202 And he was finding out how the original founders were really not very good 00:36:41.332 --> 00:36:44.992 people, even though they were like monks in the Buddhism tradition or whatever. 00:36:45.592 --> 00:36:47.472 And so he was finding out all these weird things. 00:36:47.702 --> 00:36:51.742 And I'm thinking, oh my gosh, of course, because like, when you're living apart 00:36:51.742 --> 00:36:55.212 from God, but you think you are God, you're going to do some crazy stuff, 00:36:55.252 --> 00:36:59.597 like So it's just a matter of I really think of the scripture that where 00:36:59.597 --> 00:37:05.277 God says you can tell, somewhat about someone by the fruit, by their fruit 00:37:05.377 --> 00:37:07.147 and what does their fruit look like? 00:37:07.167 --> 00:37:11.277 And sometimes you can really see that, even though there's 00:37:11.327 --> 00:37:14.697 amazing, they look amazing, like churches, but they're really cults. 00:37:15.397 --> 00:37:19.407 If you look at the founder, you can see how their life was like destroyed. 00:37:19.417 --> 00:37:20.467 how they were terrible. 00:37:20.537 --> 00:37:22.217 A lot of them were not very good people. 00:37:22.677 --> 00:37:25.017 And so of course the same was true of his college. 00:37:26.067 --> 00:37:27.237 He's I can't believe this. 00:37:27.247 --> 00:37:29.727 And he's starting to tell his classmates about it. 00:37:29.727 --> 00:37:31.627 And I'm thinking that's interesting. 00:37:31.637 --> 00:37:34.647 Like he was so gung ho about, this program and stuff. 00:37:34.647 --> 00:37:37.407 And now he's starting to see it in a different perspective. 00:37:37.917 --> 00:37:41.197 And, I just, I could tell I was like, okay, God's really. 00:37:41.642 --> 00:37:45.292 Opening his eyes to things in a way that speaks to him, not 00:37:45.292 --> 00:37:48.012 just, it's very personal to Clay 00:37:48.442 --> 00:37:49.872 and, things that kept happening. 00:37:49.882 --> 00:37:54.772 Like his friend was supportive of him, being curious about Christianity 00:37:54.772 --> 00:37:56.012 and his friend wasn't a Christian. 00:37:56.012 --> 00:38:00.042 He was staying with him over that trip and they would have these conversations and 00:38:00.042 --> 00:38:04.662 I could tell God was using these people in his life, the situations in his life. 00:38:05.022 --> 00:38:07.262 He, God even used his cat dying. 00:38:07.667 --> 00:38:13.427 To help him be in this place where he was so in a way broken that it cracked 00:38:13.487 --> 00:38:19.782 him open, so it's like God will break you down, but in order to build you up 00:38:20.282 --> 00:38:23.062 in the way that he knows that you can be, 00:38:23.322 --> 00:38:25.002 he built, he made you to be. 00:38:26.547 --> 00:38:27.107 Yeah. 00:38:27.217 --> 00:38:29.407 and the thing, thanks baby. 00:38:29.507 --> 00:38:33.657 the thing that happened, is there's still work to do. 00:38:33.767 --> 00:38:37.897 And when you're saved, so that all that is to say is it was very, I 00:38:37.897 --> 00:38:40.297 was like in shock, I was happy. 00:38:40.647 --> 00:38:43.317 And then also God reveals himself to me. 00:38:43.627 --> 00:38:49.497 The real living, true God of the universe revealed himself to me. 00:38:51.047 --> 00:38:52.277 It's like an earthquake 00:38:52.557 --> 00:38:53.097 in your life. 00:38:53.147 --> 00:38:57.047 it's like in the Bible when they can't, you can't see, they can't 00:38:57.047 --> 00:39:00.667 look at them, and they're confused. 00:39:00.927 --> 00:39:05.017 I imagine You know during the transfiguration or other times where 00:39:05.017 --> 00:39:10.867 God revealed himself to Moses and other prophets that They were confused and 00:39:10.867 --> 00:39:15.887 scared and excited and didn't really know what they saw, but they knew it was God 00:39:18.597 --> 00:39:25.827 and then your God reveals this new truth his truth that he's real and everything 00:39:25.837 --> 00:39:30.977 about everything changes and it's it's It's strange because it's almost like 00:39:30.977 --> 00:39:36.727 this new life that's opened up, but it was right in front of you the whole time. 00:39:37.847 --> 00:39:42.937 And so it's almost like you're living in the same circumstance, 00:39:43.797 --> 00:39:48.187 but this new life opened up. 00:39:48.697 --> 00:39:52.087 So all that has to say is when I think about the actual moments of 00:39:52.097 --> 00:39:54.382 these things, It's like this podcast. 00:39:54.412 --> 00:39:56.362 I'm not thinking about what I'm saying. 00:39:56.382 --> 00:40:02.132 I feel like the whole, we pray before this and the Holy Spirit guides us, in a way. 00:40:03.382 --> 00:40:04.622 and that's what happened. 00:40:04.712 --> 00:40:10.812 And I, so I don't think you told me about Jesus until a while later. 00:40:10.882 --> 00:40:12.382 I had to make sense of it all. 00:40:12.422 --> 00:40:12.802 yeah. 00:40:12.952 --> 00:40:15.042 Like I had to process it all. 00:40:15.052 --> 00:40:18.862 So I think at that point I was just like, what I'm graduating. 00:40:19.422 --> 00:40:23.322 Yeah, like it was like, okay, I was like, I'm going to get married. 00:40:23.672 --> 00:40:28.552 Like I knew in my mind, the ring, everything was so clear to me. 00:40:29.282 --> 00:40:32.712 And you don't go from not ever want, not wanting to get married at all. 00:40:32.762 --> 00:40:38.322 And thinking marriage is a sham to being obsessed with a specific ring type. 00:40:39.262 --> 00:40:44.842 Like I knew exactly I knew the actual like typology of the way the ring was 00:40:44.842 --> 00:40:49.992 going to be and what it meant and exactly what it looked like and where to get it. 00:40:53.042 --> 00:40:59.802 And all that stuff just was going on and I was just doing it and then 00:40:59.832 --> 00:41:03.012 at my grad and then so I did that and I got home and I got the ring. 00:41:03.012 --> 00:41:05.802 I don't think I don't know what I said much to anybody. 00:41:06.442 --> 00:41:09.062 yeah, you didn't really talk much about your conversion. 00:41:09.072 --> 00:41:09.692 Exactly. 00:41:09.692 --> 00:41:10.302 At that point. 00:41:10.382 --> 00:41:11.812 Because it was so like. 00:41:12.717 --> 00:41:14.547 It was all still, it was happening. 00:41:14.617 --> 00:41:16.217 I think it was all part of the same thing. 00:41:16.217 --> 00:41:17.407 And that's why I wanted to say this. 00:41:17.417 --> 00:41:19.577 You were like telling me, I'm not ready to talk about it. 00:41:19.627 --> 00:41:20.227 Exactly. 00:41:20.227 --> 00:41:20.527 Yeah. 00:41:20.527 --> 00:41:20.807 Yeah. 00:41:20.807 --> 00:41:21.797 It's driving me nuts. 00:41:21.797 --> 00:41:23.987 I was like, I want to know what happened. 00:41:24.427 --> 00:41:24.807 Jesse: Yeah. 00:41:24.970 --> 00:41:28.497 Clay: was like, I want to know what happened, but I know he's processing it. 00:41:28.577 --> 00:41:32.907 Everybody was like, Whoa, I don't know what's going on with Clay, but 00:41:32.977 --> 00:41:38.377 I think it's good because everyone's been so used to me and if you go 00:41:38.377 --> 00:41:39.917 back and listen to my episode. 00:41:40.797 --> 00:41:44.977 You can tell why people just, they don't, you go through so many ups and downs and 00:41:44.977 --> 00:41:49.277 explosions in your life and crash land after a while, people are just like, 00:41:50.427 --> 00:41:51.247 Jesse: What's next? 00:41:51.387 --> 00:41:53.157 Clay: yeah, they just keep their distance. 00:41:53.377 --> 00:41:55.407 And I think people, it was like that. 00:41:55.457 --> 00:42:02.077 and I also people I was used to coming out and telling these people all these. 00:42:02.902 --> 00:42:07.042 proliferation of like ideas and just flooding people with that. 00:42:07.042 --> 00:42:08.292 And then it all crumbling. 00:42:08.292 --> 00:42:13.372 So I think I just kept it all close to my heart and also in a way when I think 00:42:13.372 --> 00:42:19.592 when God moves us, what I remember feeling is like, it's this dual kind of feeling. 00:42:19.602 --> 00:42:21.872 you're so in your life. 00:42:22.557 --> 00:42:28.677 Everything you're living, so you're living, you're so alive, but you 00:42:28.677 --> 00:42:34.557 also feel like you're being led, like you're not really, you're not really 00:42:34.557 --> 00:42:36.822 the making the decisions in a sense. 00:42:36.822 --> 00:42:38.332 It's like a flow state. 00:42:38.802 --> 00:42:42.462 If you want to use secular terminology, like it's like a flow state. 00:42:44.667 --> 00:42:48.567 Jesse: one thing that came to mind as you were talking about this 00:42:51.387 --> 00:42:55.827 dear, about your experiences that the psalm, I think it's Psalm 46 1. 00:42:55.827 --> 00:42:59.467 It says, be still and know that I am God. 00:43:00.542 --> 00:43:01.242 Clay: Yeah, I 00:43:01.732 --> 00:43:04.692 Jesse: I think in my old life, I would have thought, okay, 00:43:04.782 --> 00:43:06.392 that means I got to be still. 00:43:06.392 --> 00:43:10.182 I got to sit still and then he'll reveal himself to me. 00:43:10.182 --> 00:43:13.002 But I have a new understanding. 00:43:13.242 --> 00:43:18.282 And then what you just said just brought it to mind is that God is 00:43:18.737 --> 00:43:21.167 Knowable, he wants to be known. 00:43:21.177 --> 00:43:24.677 He wants us to know him more than even we want to know him. 00:43:24.677 --> 00:43:30.117 And he created us to be, to know him and to be in relationship with him. 00:43:30.117 --> 00:43:38.127 so he's always drawing us, but it's our busy ness in our own heads. 00:43:38.127 --> 00:43:41.127 It's ours trying to figure it out. 00:43:41.997 --> 00:43:43.167 that is our block. 00:43:43.167 --> 00:43:47.297 And when he says, be still, to me, it means shut up, quit, stop. 00:43:48.612 --> 00:43:51.332 Clay: think some people interpret it to me. 00:43:51.342 --> 00:43:55.792 Surrender fighting, not just necessarily be still like actually 00:43:55.802 --> 00:43:57.082 physically still, like you said, 00:43:57.082 --> 00:44:01.192 but it's actually stop resisting fighting God. 00:44:02.107 --> 00:44:02.267 Jesse: Yeah. 00:44:02.617 --> 00:44:02.867 Yeah. 00:44:02.917 --> 00:44:10.867 Clay put himself in a position to be, to be so receptive, to let go of his own 00:44:11.757 --> 00:44:18.337 understanding, so to speak, so that he could break through and, yeah, I'm sorry. 00:44:18.337 --> 00:44:18.837 I didn't mean to. 00:44:19.212 --> 00:44:25.912 Clay: It's a great segue because what that kind of does like segues into the 00:44:25.912 --> 00:44:28.637 theme of the rest of our life is that. 00:44:29.437 --> 00:44:35.697 What I see now sitting here today with my wife and my baby right 00:44:35.697 --> 00:44:38.717 here, is that what God wants for me. 00:44:39.592 --> 00:44:45.542 Is so much better than what I would strive and want for 00:44:46.942 --> 00:44:49.652 and once I surrendered to him, 00:44:52.542 --> 00:44:59.482 it's just now it's just this journey of trust, trusting in him and giving 00:44:59.482 --> 00:45:04.112 myself over to his will, because that's what I, that, that's what happened. 00:45:04.112 --> 00:45:05.792 And so everything happened really fast. 00:45:05.792 --> 00:45:07.252 I was like, we're getting married. 00:45:07.252 --> 00:45:07.992 I had a ring. 00:45:08.492 --> 00:45:12.322 I proposed at my graduation party and I was like, we're 00:45:12.322 --> 00:45:13.222 not, we're getting married. 00:45:13.272 --> 00:45:14.282 She was like, Oh, okay. 00:45:14.292 --> 00:45:15.252 what, a year. 00:45:15.262 --> 00:45:19.262 And I was like, next week, I wasn't, we're not wasting any time. 00:45:19.272 --> 00:45:22.032 Like we're getting married right now. 00:45:22.132 --> 00:45:24.142 So I w we were engaged, 00:45:26.462 --> 00:45:27.902 happiest day of my life. 00:45:28.672 --> 00:45:31.112 And Casey said yes. 00:45:31.112 --> 00:45:35.572 And then a week or two later, we were married and graduation 00:45:35.572 --> 00:45:38.392 party was May 21st of 2023. 00:45:38.852 --> 00:45:41.932 And then our wedding was June 16th of 2023. 00:45:43.082 --> 00:45:49.602 we got married at the courthouse and then we, we moved in together officially 00:45:49.602 --> 00:45:53.281 in our new place on July 1st, 2023. 00:45:53.982 --> 00:45:57.482 And then it was just like thing out. 00:45:57.512 --> 00:45:58.822 It was like thing after thing. 00:45:58.822 --> 00:46:02.152 It was like, and again, for all the listeners, it's like, 00:46:03.142 --> 00:46:06.252 whatever season you're in, it doesn't always happen like this. 00:46:06.702 --> 00:46:11.862 And it was, I just, it was a life, it was a lifetime. 00:46:11.872 --> 00:46:19.726 It was like a, it was a 40 years of slog and it was 40 00:46:19.736 --> 00:46:21.906 years of slow, gradual change. 00:46:21.906 --> 00:46:26.936 And I know now that God was with me through all that every time. 00:46:26.952 --> 00:46:30.332 Jesse: reminds me of the Israelites, and we're roaming 00:46:30.332 --> 00:46:32.222 through the desert for 40 years. 00:46:32.227 --> 00:46:34.957 it takes 40 years for breakthrough sometimes. 00:46:35.317 --> 00:46:38.757 Clay: but just that, so what happened after that was just like, it was like 00:46:38.787 --> 00:46:45.757 boot stuff that I had wanted my whole life had written off as never, I had 00:46:45.757 --> 00:46:50.297 written a long ago off that it was never for me, so having my own place. 00:46:50.822 --> 00:46:53.002 I've been at that point, I've been homeless. 00:46:53.052 --> 00:46:54.462 I had lived all over the world. 00:46:54.462 --> 00:46:55.782 I've lived out of a backpack. 00:46:55.782 --> 00:47:02.532 I've lived out of a car, a tent, different places in the sailboat. 00:47:02.602 --> 00:47:08.572 And then I many times live ended up crash landing back at my parents. 00:47:09.687 --> 00:47:14.867 And was still living at my parents house when I proposed and all 00:47:14.867 --> 00:47:18.607 this happened like I had nothing I just want to stress that like 00:47:20.897 --> 00:47:22.327 prior to me getting saved. 00:47:22.357 --> 00:47:27.277 I had lost everything I mean I had nothing and then all of a sudden 00:47:28.117 --> 00:47:33.167 this beautiful woman She said yes to me, but most importantly I had 00:47:33.167 --> 00:47:38.477 god finally I had the real one true living god and I did not ever know how 00:47:38.477 --> 00:47:41.177 to get to him until I had jesus You 00:47:43.517 --> 00:47:48.437 And through Jesus, I found God and now have the Trinity. 00:47:49.647 --> 00:47:54.437 And then, so we got married, we moved in, this all happened in 00:47:54.437 --> 00:47:56.597 two months, we moved in together. 00:47:56.877 --> 00:47:59.307 And then I got a new job out of nowhere. 00:47:59.387 --> 00:48:02.067 I thought I would never, if you go back and listen to my story, you'll 00:48:02.067 --> 00:48:08.117 hear that I got fired for doing new age practices in my internship, astrology 00:48:08.217 --> 00:48:13.997 stuff, the thalascopes or whatever, terascopes, or what are they called, baby? 00:48:14.087 --> 00:48:14.787 Horoscopes. 00:48:15.897 --> 00:48:20.727 I, but anyway, I, all of a sudden 00:48:23.377 --> 00:48:25.977 Casey was like, Hey, check this place out. 00:48:25.977 --> 00:48:29.107 I was looking at therapy places around where we moved in our 00:48:29.107 --> 00:48:32.157 apartment and it looks really good. 00:48:32.167 --> 00:48:33.807 It looked like a great place to work. 00:48:34.197 --> 00:48:37.287 And I just applied. 00:48:37.327 --> 00:48:39.877 And then a week later I had a job with this. 00:48:40.697 --> 00:48:42.447 Brand new private practice. 00:48:42.547 --> 00:48:50.267 and, so within a month I was, we were married, I was married. 00:48:50.267 --> 00:48:59.267 I had a little apartment dog and then, a wife and I had a brand new job. 00:49:00.697 --> 00:49:03.477 but all this stuff was like tangible stuff. 00:49:04.752 --> 00:49:09.042 It wasn't like stuff like it was stuff that I've always wanted, but I 00:49:09.042 --> 00:49:10.912 wasn't thinking about it like that. 00:49:10.922 --> 00:49:13.542 I was more just happy that I had the Lord. 00:49:14.192 --> 00:49:18.762 But one, one, one thing I was going to share is that when I got back from 00:49:18.762 --> 00:49:25.342 Colorado during that point in time where I hadn't really experienced I, I came back 00:49:25.342 --> 00:49:32.617 to a life that was built in the new age, a room that was full of crap and altars. 00:49:33.557 --> 00:49:35.677 And so Casey and I are very different. 00:49:35.687 --> 00:49:37.857 She's very more, much more willpower. 00:49:37.887 --> 00:49:42.977 I'm more like resistant to change and stubborn. 00:49:44.247 --> 00:49:47.997 And I looked around my room and I was like, even though I 00:49:48.007 --> 00:49:50.897 had found the Lord, I still. 00:49:52.597 --> 00:49:55.447 And I had given my life to him and I was being guided by him. 00:49:55.447 --> 00:49:59.503 I still had this other, fight, this flesh going on where I was 00:49:59.503 --> 00:50:01.350 like, I like this, or I like that. 00:50:03.550 --> 00:50:07.590 It was really hard because I had, like Casey mentioned, I meant I spent thousands 00:50:07.590 --> 00:50:13.680 of dollars on all kinds of stuff and I literally had to dismantle like God, 00:50:13.840 --> 00:50:18.810 God gives us a spiritual, but we have to do stuff in the physical realm. 00:50:19.215 --> 00:50:20.975 It's not just like a set it and forget it. 00:50:20.975 --> 00:50:28.655 Oh, I got, I think a lot of people that don't are, haven't accepted Christ. 00:50:29.565 --> 00:50:32.755 They hear these stories and they think it's like, Oh, it's done. 00:50:32.785 --> 00:50:33.775 Like you're just good. 00:50:33.775 --> 00:50:36.385 And then you go to, it's there was things I had to do. 00:50:37.195 --> 00:50:38.175 Jesse: It's a process. 00:50:38.505 --> 00:50:38.895 Clay: Yeah. 00:50:38.895 --> 00:50:43.155 And so I got home and I had to dismantle all of that. 00:50:43.675 --> 00:50:48.965 So over the course of two or three days, I would take loads of stuff to the trash. 00:50:49.535 --> 00:50:52.135 Out of my room, take pictures off the wall 00:50:54.195 --> 00:50:55.305 and it was painful. 00:50:55.695 --> 00:51:00.635 it was, it's not like you lose your pain or you don't have a struggle, 00:51:00.695 --> 00:51:03.925 and I was just doing it anyway. 00:51:04.355 --> 00:51:08.775 I was going into that painful areas of just dismantling all 00:51:08.775 --> 00:51:10.415 that stuff that I used to believe. 00:51:16.485 --> 00:51:17.275 Oh yeah. 00:51:17.275 --> 00:51:23.385 And so then I had over the course of two days, I like had cleared out my room 00:51:24.125 --> 00:51:27.815 and my parents were like, Oh, finally. 00:51:29.195 --> 00:51:29.875 Thank God. 00:51:29.925 --> 00:51:32.195 thank God, whatever's going on for you is good. 00:51:32.305 --> 00:51:33.405 we're behind it. 00:51:33.455 --> 00:51:35.835 cause they had been telling me like, Hey, this is whatever you're 00:51:35.835 --> 00:51:37.465 doing, like this needs to stop. 00:51:37.525 --> 00:51:44.955 But I finally came down and I had one item left and I was constantly in this 00:51:44.955 --> 00:51:48.465 thing cause I had all this expensive stuff and I was like, Oh, I'll just give it to 00:51:48.465 --> 00:51:50.715 people But then I was like, wait a minute. 00:51:50.735 --> 00:51:51.195 No. 00:51:51.665 --> 00:51:55.805 Now that I know God, I would not want to give this to anybody. 00:51:56.225 --> 00:51:59.085 I don't want, I don't want anybody to have this because once you 00:51:59.095 --> 00:52:02.785 have Christ, that's all you need. 00:52:03.085 --> 00:52:03.415 Jesse: yeah. 00:52:03.775 --> 00:52:07.495 Clay: And I was like, I don't want anybody to have this stuff because 00:52:07.495 --> 00:52:09.295 it's going to not lead them to Christ. 00:52:10.510 --> 00:52:11.760 So I have to throw it away. 00:52:12.260 --> 00:52:18.780 so I got all the way down and I had this huge Buddha, was the last thing left. 00:52:19.870 --> 00:52:21.090 And it was beautiful. 00:52:21.090 --> 00:52:24.360 beautifully made, I had You lived in Asia. 00:52:24.410 --> 00:52:25.130 Was it from? 00:52:25.280 --> 00:52:28.080 it was, I actually got it in Colorado when I was out there, but 00:52:28.830 --> 00:52:33.280 it was, I don't know how big, like a foot, foot, a high foot wide. 00:52:33.280 --> 00:52:36.140 and it was beautifully made out of I don't know, silver. 00:52:36.160 --> 00:52:38.060 It was nice. 00:52:39.170 --> 00:52:41.250 And I was like, Oh, this will be good next to the toilet. 00:52:41.520 --> 00:52:48.330 And so I put it, I was like, I put it there and I was like, and no offense, 00:52:48.360 --> 00:52:53.700 if anybody's listening and you're in, and that's your, believe I'm not, 00:52:54.580 --> 00:52:56.890 it's okay, I'm not trying to down you. 00:52:56.900 --> 00:53:00.300 I just telling my story and I was like, Oh, maybe it'll be good. 00:53:00.300 --> 00:53:01.590 And I was like, I don't want to see it. 00:53:02.880 --> 00:53:05.010 I just don't believe in it, anymore. 00:53:05.120 --> 00:53:07.140 and then I was like, maybe it'd be good out in the garden. 00:53:07.190 --> 00:53:08.610 and it just got it was like. 00:53:09.225 --> 00:53:15.395 Basically no, this is not good anywhere, but I didn't want to throw it away. 00:53:15.575 --> 00:53:20.095 So I said, you know what, I'm going to say goodbye to Buddha with love. 00:53:20.875 --> 00:53:22.555 I'm going to take it to the ocean. 00:53:23.340 --> 00:53:28.340 And throw it in there where it came from and give it back to the ocean. 00:53:29.110 --> 00:53:30.150 It came from the ocean. 00:53:30.150 --> 00:53:31.410 It'll go back there. 00:53:32.150 --> 00:53:34.690 So I bring this big, 00:53:36.710 --> 00:53:41.400 beautiful Buddha thing down in my arms, down to the, Peter's point, beach. 00:53:42.770 --> 00:53:47.450 And it's the last, it's literally the last piece of new age 00:53:48.070 --> 00:53:51.640 paraphernalia, or that I had. 00:53:52.820 --> 00:53:53.990 So it was a big moment. 00:53:54.010 --> 00:53:58.390 it was like the, it was like the third day, and it was the last piece of things. 00:53:58.440 --> 00:54:02.790 and I could just finally say goodbye to that life with love, And 00:54:02.790 --> 00:54:04.430 so I, people were looking at me. 00:54:04.430 --> 00:54:05.090 I was crazy. 00:54:05.090 --> 00:54:08.590 I walked out into the ocean with this Buddha thing over my head. 00:54:09.180 --> 00:54:12.130 I walked out as far as I, I don't know if that was like, there might 00:54:12.130 --> 00:54:13.440 call the cops on me or something. 00:54:13.440 --> 00:54:16.240 I think, but I didn't care. 00:54:16.240 --> 00:54:19.010 I didn't care as I walked out to my, almost to my neck. 00:54:19.070 --> 00:54:21.780 And I just said, back to the ocean where you came from. 00:54:21.780 --> 00:54:23.030 I, I don't believe in you. 00:54:23.090 --> 00:54:28.120 And I, thank you for all that, what you did, but you're no longer. 00:54:28.435 --> 00:54:37.265 Part of my life and I just tossed it in the ocean and I went, I just felt 00:54:37.285 --> 00:54:41.745 this weight, obviously wait, leave God, went back to the shore and just 00:54:41.745 --> 00:54:45.635 got on my knees and said, thank you, God, thank you for clearing up my life. 00:54:46.915 --> 00:54:49.745 Thank you for giving me the peace of your truth. 00:54:49.845 --> 00:54:55.345 And I just felt light and, grateful. 00:54:55.345 --> 00:54:56.785 And I walked back to my house. 00:54:59.525 --> 00:55:04.095 And in my front yard, my neighbor is standing in the yard, my neighbor who is 00:55:04.095 --> 00:55:10.305 like grumpy and doesn't, he's like feuds with my dad and like they're not friends 00:55:10.305 --> 00:55:18.155 and we're not like friends and he doesn't talk to anybody and he's standing in my 00:55:18.185 --> 00:55:21.375 front yard with a painting of a cross. 00:55:23.040 --> 00:55:24.920 And he says, I want you to have this. 00:55:25.210 --> 00:55:29.240 I heard that you, I heard that you graduated and, I could show you 00:55:29.240 --> 00:55:34.810 it's on our wall right now, but it's his wife is a painter and. 00:55:35.985 --> 00:55:40.665 For whatever reason, they heard that I graduated, and she selected this painting 00:55:40.665 --> 00:55:47.445 she did, of a cross, and it has a part of a hymn on it, and it says, On a hill, 00:55:48.095 --> 00:55:50.405 far away, stood an old rugged cross. 00:55:51.865 --> 00:55:53.115 Crosses in gold. 00:55:56.005 --> 00:55:59.580 And this is my neighbor that we were just fighting over, like, Where's the 00:55:59.590 --> 00:56:04.420 aeration line is to the, to, and now he's literally after I just threw the 00:56:04.420 --> 00:56:09.400 Buddha away, he's standing in my yard with this cross painting and the cross 00:56:09.400 --> 00:56:11.610 is gold and it has that hymn on it. 00:56:12.050 --> 00:56:13.620 And he's I want you to have this. 00:56:14.555 --> 00:56:17.315 And I was like, yeah, and he had no idea. 00:56:18.145 --> 00:56:22.384 he didn't know I got, I converted, he had no idea about that. 00:56:22.424 --> 00:56:26.344 And he was like, I don't know why my wife wanted me to give this to you. 00:56:26.384 --> 00:56:30.694 And we tried to tell him like a week later, like he was standing outside 00:56:30.694 --> 00:56:34.384 and we, and he, after Clay told me this story, cause he was like in 00:56:34.394 --> 00:56:39.514 tears when he called me and telling me this story and we went to thank them. 00:56:40.284 --> 00:56:44.014 a week later or so, and they were outside, both of them were outside gardening, 00:56:44.024 --> 00:56:47.494 his wife who painted the painting and then him and Clay's thank you. 00:56:47.494 --> 00:56:48.524 I don't think you knew this. 00:56:48.524 --> 00:56:51.564 And then all of a sudden the conversation gets interrupted and they start talking 00:56:51.564 --> 00:56:53.094 about something completely different. 00:56:53.584 --> 00:56:57.734 And I'm like, Clay, I just don't even think they know what they did. 00:56:58.294 --> 00:56:59.344 Jesse: God sent it to you. 00:56:59.734 --> 00:57:01.724 Clay: Yeah, so it was just one of those things. 00:57:01.764 --> 00:57:05.954 They'll never know likely what that meant to him, it's, it was 00:57:05.954 --> 00:57:07.384 like the timing and everything. 00:57:07.384 --> 00:57:12.474 It was like, just again, it doesn't always happen like this, but 00:57:12.474 --> 00:57:14.174 God was just revealing himself. 00:57:14.234 --> 00:57:16.324 now I get the place of your life. 00:57:16.944 --> 00:57:20.774 Now that you've taken all that stuff and thrown it away. 00:57:21.324 --> 00:57:25.994 And you took that activation in the physical world. 00:57:28.044 --> 00:57:34.714 I'm going to reveal myself to you here in the physical world and just, like 00:57:37.354 --> 00:57:38.954 you just, it was just powerful. 00:57:39.204 --> 00:57:42.124 and I guess 00:57:44.144 --> 00:57:49.584 I don't know where we're at with time, but basically, I believe now 00:57:49.634 --> 00:57:56.134 and you can hear my little daughter, Emerson rose in the background. 00:57:56.144 --> 00:58:02.444 She's about two and a half months old, greatest gift God ever gave me. 00:58:02.534 --> 00:58:10.314 And So once Casey and I got right with the Lord and he was in that place, 00:58:12.714 --> 00:58:18.204 we've just, we've just got, and we got all that, like all those revealings 00:58:18.204 --> 00:58:22.944 and all those gifts, and all those prayers answered, we just try to keep 00:58:22.944 --> 00:58:29.129 him in that top place and love him more than we love, don't let, don't forget. 00:58:29.834 --> 00:58:32.774 That's why this is such a great opportunity to come on this podcast 00:58:32.784 --> 00:58:38.074 is to not forget what he did for us and that everything in our 00:58:38.074 --> 00:58:41.344 life flows from our love for him. 00:58:42.974 --> 00:58:47.854 And when things get hard and when marriage gets hard and it does 00:58:48.184 --> 00:58:54.194 and, pressures from life, like to just remember what he did for us. 00:58:54.724 --> 00:58:56.014 And it continues to do 00:58:58.554 --> 00:58:59.184 and 00:59:01.674 --> 00:59:08.294 it just blows us away and the way that we're, helping to sanctify each 00:59:08.294 --> 00:59:14.354 other, and we're encouraged Casey and basically the greatest gift I could 00:59:14.354 --> 00:59:21.144 ever wish for anybody is to have got Christ and be able to worship Christ 00:59:21.144 --> 00:59:25.724 with the woman you love and these fruits that we've been able to and 00:59:25.964 --> 00:59:28.134 neither of us know anything about this. 00:59:29.324 --> 00:59:34.344 We're just, trying to be led by our church, by our pastor, and we go 00:59:34.344 --> 00:59:37.704 to Legacy Church, which is a really great church with a great pastor. 00:59:37.754 --> 00:59:42.484 and we're just trying to follow the guidance and fellowship 00:59:42.484 --> 00:59:47.474 and follow the scripture and look to the scripture for help. 00:59:48.304 --> 00:59:53.134 Because of what the Lord delivered us from, Casey and I are just really careful 00:59:53.134 --> 01:00:02.034 about just maintaining our home and trying to stay close to the Lord and just catch 01:00:02.034 --> 01:00:08.364 ourselves if we find ourselves putting anything else above him, whether it's each 01:00:08.364 --> 01:00:15.594 other or our daughter or school or life or money, because we know he can do anything. 01:00:16.369 --> 01:00:23.399 If he could save us in this way and have this dramatic change, and I could sit here 01:00:23.399 --> 01:00:30.249 today and talk about the joy of marriage, it's a miracle, but this one scripture 01:00:30.249 --> 01:00:35.209 I had for today, and I want Casey to have a chance to talk and any questions, 01:00:35.329 --> 01:00:39.079 this is from Genesis, Genesis, 2, 18. 01:00:41.359 --> 01:00:45.709 Then the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone. 01:00:46.829 --> 01:00:49.269 I will make him a helper fit for him. 01:00:50.189 --> 01:00:54.049 Now out of the ground, the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every 01:00:54.049 --> 01:00:57.939 bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. 01:00:57.999 --> 01:01:01.519 And whatever the man called every living creature, that was his name. 01:01:02.134 --> 01:01:05.254 The man gives names to all livestock and the birds and the heavens 01:01:05.264 --> 01:01:06.284 and the beasts of the field. 01:01:06.314 --> 01:01:09.324 But for Adam, there was not found a helper fit for him. 01:01:09.914 --> 01:01:13.604 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man. 01:01:13.674 --> 01:01:18.334 And while he slept, he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 01:01:18.759 --> 01:01:22.189 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a 01:01:22.189 --> 01:01:25.159 woman and brought her to the man. 01:01:26.289 --> 01:01:32.199 Then the man said, This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. 01:01:32.209 --> 01:01:36.579 She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. 01:01:36.929 --> 01:01:40.839 Therefore man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his 01:01:40.839 --> 01:01:43.399 wife and they shall become one flesh. 01:01:43.999 --> 01:01:47.289 And the man and his wife were both naked and not ashamed. 01:01:48.549 --> 01:01:57.324 So that I just Wanted to tie it to scripture that what I'm experiencing is 01:01:57.324 --> 01:02:06.824 a promise of God and he wants good things for us and he's really made that clear. 01:02:08.014 --> 01:02:18.264 and it's really, it's worth worshiping and glorifying and just bowing down because 01:02:26.844 --> 01:02:31.944 What he wants for us is what he has for us in store, even if we feel 01:02:31.944 --> 01:02:34.144 like we don't want it at the time, 01:02:36.974 --> 01:02:40.054 it's incredible and it's real and it's deep. 01:02:41.644 --> 01:02:47.164 without getting too much lost in my own thoughts, I want to 01:02:47.164 --> 01:02:49.834 just turn it over to Casey and 01:02:52.024 --> 01:02:53.214 give her a chance to, 01:02:53.264 --> 01:02:53.714 Jesse: Yeah. 01:02:53.719 --> 01:02:54.734 We, go ahead. 01:02:54.734 --> 01:02:58.064 Casey, I want to hear, what you've been thinking as you've 01:02:58.124 --> 01:02:59.654 been listening to Clay talk. 01:02:59.734 --> 01:03:04.964 Clay: Yeah, I feel like it's, it's amazing watching his transformation. 01:03:06.544 --> 01:03:11.554 becoming a Christian and him coming to church with me and wanting a child. 01:03:11.554 --> 01:03:15.424 And, before, when I was in my other marriage, I couldn't imagine having 01:03:15.424 --> 01:03:20.284 a child because I always felt like I can't take care of the husband 01:03:20.284 --> 01:03:21.834 at the time that I had and a child. 01:03:22.934 --> 01:03:27.824 And so it was a miracle to me to want to have a family because I always felt 01:03:27.824 --> 01:03:31.614 like it would be too much, but I didn't feel like it's too much with God. 01:03:31.614 --> 01:03:31.644 Yeah. 01:03:32.369 --> 01:03:37.329 And we prayed and trusted and we have a beautiful little girl now. 01:03:37.389 --> 01:03:42.859 And she was, I went into labor for her the, a year from when we were engaged. 01:03:42.859 --> 01:03:43.559 Exactly. 01:03:44.349 --> 01:03:46.409 we were engaged May 21st, 2023. 01:03:46.409 --> 01:03:49.989 I went into labor with her May 21st, 2024. 01:03:50.769 --> 01:03:53.109 She was born May 22nd, 2024. 01:03:53.529 --> 01:03:57.869 So it's just a miracle, like how God works, in a year and one day. 01:03:58.604 --> 01:04:04.364 We went from, not even being married to having a little girl and being 01:04:04.374 --> 01:04:06.334 married and having a family way. 01:04:06.334 --> 01:04:11.534 God wants us to be obsessed and, yeah, she's just perfect. 01:04:11.534 --> 01:04:16.664 the whole, her whole story is amazing to me because, the day after we 01:04:16.664 --> 01:04:21.394 found out, we were expecting her, I got a text from my ex husband. 01:04:22.159 --> 01:04:23.749 Which he never texts me. 01:04:23.989 --> 01:04:27.309 And he said, Hey, I found something of yours in the basement. 01:04:27.879 --> 01:04:29.569 And I was like, what is it? 01:04:30.059 --> 01:04:36.559 And he holds up my baby toy, a stuffed cow that I had when I was the baby. 01:04:36.619 --> 01:04:39.249 And I was like, he's do you want me to ship it to you? 01:04:39.989 --> 01:04:41.039 And I was like, yes. 01:04:41.099 --> 01:04:42.109 And he had no idea. 01:04:42.109 --> 01:04:44.809 I, we hadn't told anybody that I was pregnant. 01:04:45.339 --> 01:04:49.779 And so just an amazing, I knew it was God, God's like this baby's yours. 01:04:49.829 --> 01:04:51.489 Like I'm giving you this baby. 01:04:51.859 --> 01:04:54.719 And Yeah, she has a little cow theme nursery now. 01:04:56.259 --> 01:05:01.049 And, it's so sweet to see like God's promises fulfilled, And yeah, when she was 01:05:01.049 --> 01:05:04.679 born, I had prayed, I got, I want a quick. 01:05:05.999 --> 01:05:10.749 I don't want to be, in there for 24 hours induced, like they were saying 01:05:10.749 --> 01:05:13.549 I might have to be and all this stuff. 01:05:13.599 --> 01:05:17.709 and God really, he showed up for us in that moment in those moments. 01:05:17.779 --> 01:05:22.079 And, it was the funniest thing that during the, during the, during while I 01:05:22.079 --> 01:05:25.819 was in labor in the hospital, all the nurses, they kept walking into the room. 01:05:26.049 --> 01:05:29.714 They'd say, Hey, It smells amazing here. 01:05:30.244 --> 01:05:32.624 Why does it smell so good? 01:05:32.644 --> 01:05:35.174 And I'm like, I haven't showered in a week. 01:05:35.204 --> 01:05:35.624 No. 01:05:37.824 --> 01:05:39.084 We weren't I hadn't showered. 01:05:39.084 --> 01:05:42.304 He hadn't showered recent like that day. 01:05:42.324 --> 01:05:45.934 And then he we didn't have we wash our clothes and hypo 01:05:45.934 --> 01:05:48.484 allergenic, scent free stuff. 01:05:49.204 --> 01:05:52.474 Because the baby you don't want to have a lot of Fragrance. 01:05:52.854 --> 01:05:56.324 I didn't have any perfume on because I knew it wasn't good to have fragrance 01:05:56.324 --> 01:05:58.044 on you when you're, having a baby. 01:05:58.454 --> 01:06:02.654 I didn't, no candles, no aromatherapy, I had nothing. 01:06:03.064 --> 01:06:04.234 And I'm like, I have no idea. 01:06:05.144 --> 01:06:07.654 And, it was like, not just one nurse, it was like four. 01:06:07.664 --> 01:06:08.604 It was over the top. 01:06:08.624 --> 01:06:12.194 every person that came in the delivery room was like, what does that smell? 01:06:12.354 --> 01:06:13.514 It smells so good. 01:06:13.514 --> 01:06:16.524 it smells, and I'm like, and I had no idea what they were talking about. 01:06:16.524 --> 01:06:18.114 And even, the three days later. 01:06:18.769 --> 01:06:21.129 They would say, oh yeah, like I would pass you in the hallway and I 01:06:21.129 --> 01:06:23.089 would just say, oh you smell so good. 01:06:23.099 --> 01:06:24.909 They would call us like the good smelling couple. 01:06:24.999 --> 01:06:25.639 It's really weird. 01:06:28.644 --> 01:06:32.594 We just kept hearing in my heart, it's, a pleasing aroma to God, 01:06:33.134 --> 01:06:33.514 Jesse: Yeah. 01:06:34.324 --> 01:06:35.764 Clay: God is a pleasing aroma. 01:06:37.874 --> 01:06:40.414 And he, that's how he showed up for us. 01:06:40.414 --> 01:06:44.154 it was just like a way for him, I think, to just say to us, Hey, I'm 01:06:44.154 --> 01:06:46.684 here and people know I'm here too. 01:06:46.954 --> 01:06:49.924 they didn't know it was him, but they knew something was there. 01:06:51.134 --> 01:06:54.404 And they thought it was us, but we knew better. 01:06:54.404 --> 01:06:55.334 It was not us. 01:06:56.844 --> 01:07:02.334 And just those miraculous kinds of little winks from God, it's like, Hey, I'm here. 01:07:02.414 --> 01:07:03.984 I'm showing up for you. 01:07:04.764 --> 01:07:06.034 And don't be afraid. 01:07:06.264 --> 01:07:06.844 don't be afraid. 01:07:06.844 --> 01:07:08.554 And it was scary after she was born. 01:07:08.584 --> 01:07:12.134 it she needed to be on oxygen. 01:07:12.389 --> 01:07:16.899 She was in the nursery like her vitals were being monitored every second. 01:07:17.239 --> 01:07:18.919 I couldn't hold her right away. 01:07:19.594 --> 01:07:22.454 Gary, she had some difficulty with breathing. 01:07:22.454 --> 01:07:27.064 And so she had to be rushed off to the nursery to make sure she would be okay. 01:07:27.064 --> 01:07:32.409 And, but I clay just felt very like confident God was looking out for us. 01:07:33.239 --> 01:07:35.169 And she was fine after a little while. 01:07:35.169 --> 01:07:38.609 So that's just to say God still shows up for us today. 01:07:38.609 --> 01:07:42.629 And I know that he's, with us as a family. 01:07:43.529 --> 01:07:43.929 Yeah. 01:07:44.619 --> 01:07:45.069 Yeah. 01:07:45.249 --> 01:07:52.219 Every time I see my wife, I know God loves me because he gave me her 01:07:52.279 --> 01:07:55.713 and life can be really challenging. 01:07:55.713 --> 01:07:56.859 It's this 01:08:00.879 --> 01:08:06.139 regenerative process, that's happening for both of us. 01:08:06.159 --> 01:08:08.219 And, it's just great. 01:08:08.229 --> 01:08:14.489 we've got friends that are believers and, God's just populated our lives 01:08:14.489 --> 01:08:16.469 with a lot of people to help us. 01:08:17.389 --> 01:08:21.559 Bible studies and small groups and even this podcast to come 01:08:21.559 --> 01:08:24.119 on here and be able to remember. 01:08:24.519 --> 01:08:29.989 It's crazy how fast we forget what God's done for us and we move on to 01:08:29.989 --> 01:08:31.529 the next thing and the next thing. 01:08:32.309 --> 01:08:33.889 so we're really grateful. 01:08:34.879 --> 01:08:39.201 to tell our story individually and together and really 01:08:39.201 --> 01:08:40.351 want to thank you for this. 01:08:41.941 --> 01:08:45.331 Jesse: I want to thank you because it's been such a great experience 01:08:45.331 --> 01:08:48.291 hearing your story, both of you, and then there's a couple. 01:08:49.281 --> 01:08:54.201 And, yeah, the God throughout the Bible, he would tell his people to, 01:08:54.821 --> 01:09:04.946 build, These Ebenezers, these markers or monuments to, to remind them of what he 01:09:04.946 --> 01:09:09.556 had done for them and that so that when their children asked, why is this here? 01:09:09.626 --> 01:09:12.366 they could teach their children what God had done for them. 01:09:12.756 --> 01:09:15.996 Cause we get, as human beings, we get busy, we get distracted. 01:09:15.996 --> 01:09:21.086 We get, obsessed with things and we can't easily forget even the greatest things 01:09:21.476 --> 01:09:24.196 that happen and, we can become ungrateful. 01:09:24.426 --> 01:09:29.656 So telling our stories and sharing with other people is not just a way to, 01:09:30.366 --> 01:09:35.606 edify other people, but it also edifies us because it draws us closer as we 01:09:35.606 --> 01:09:39.206 remember all the good he's done for us. 01:09:39.586 --> 01:09:44.696 So I really appreciate y'all taking the time to do this and being so 01:09:44.716 --> 01:09:50.549 forthright and open and honest and, vulnerable to, to share your deepest 01:09:50.596 --> 01:09:55.196 heart and it really means a lot to me and I'm sure everybody who hears it. 01:09:56.666 --> 01:09:58.706 The Holy Spirit's going to use it, I believe. 01:09:59.332 --> 01:09:59.912 Clay: me too. 01:10:00.662 --> 01:10:01.322 Thank you. 01:10:01.362 --> 01:10:02.312 And God bless you. 01:10:02.312 --> 01:10:08.632 and, just want to say one final prayer, just over anyone listening 01:10:08.632 --> 01:10:16.608 and over anyone that is married or unmarried and struggling to find love. 01:10:16.608 --> 01:10:22.698 I pray that you find God first And pray that God, will help you draw you and. 01:10:22.908 --> 01:10:30.218 Just want to really pray a prayer over anyone who feels alone 01:10:34.438 --> 01:10:36.128 to know that God is with you. 01:10:37.218 --> 01:10:38.318 He really is. 01:10:38.458 --> 01:10:43.498 And if you're anywhere on the spectrum of, believing in him or not 01:10:43.518 --> 01:10:45.578 believing in him, just know it's okay. 01:10:46.408 --> 01:10:49.208 And he loves you and he's drawing you. 01:10:49.888 --> 01:10:54.428 And I pray that all the different testimonies on this podcast, be heard 01:10:54.428 --> 01:10:56.038 by the people that need to hear them. 01:10:56.038 --> 01:10:57.368 And I know they will. 01:10:57.638 --> 01:11:05.128 And just pray for, for all the things that God is doing and for his whole 01:11:05.138 --> 01:11:06.778 church and for the whole world. 01:11:07.648 --> 01:11:08.538 in Jesus name. 01:11:08.558 --> 01:11:08.958 Amen. 01:11:09.664 --> 01:11:10.464 Jesse: thank you, Clay. 01:11:10.843 --> 01:11:12.313 Any final words, Casey? 01:11:14.303 --> 01:11:15.413 Clay: No, just thank you. 01:11:15.613 --> 01:11:19.213 And, we look forward to hearing more testimonies. 01:11:20.633 --> 01:11:21.193 Jesse: All right. 01:11:21.533 --> 01:11:22.303 thank you both. 01:11:22.333 --> 01:11:25.716 And, I look forward to seeing Emmy grow up. 01:11:26.106 --> 01:11:27.646 Clay: Yeah, us too. 01:11:27.716 --> 01:11:28.466 Thank you, Jesse. 01:11:28.556 --> 01:11:29.296 Have a great day. 01:11:33.256 --> 01:11:35.456 Speaker 2: We hope you've been blessed by today's story. 01:11:35.926 --> 01:11:39.646 In case you haven't noticed, there are no advertisements on this podcast, 01:11:40.006 --> 01:11:41.546 and we hope to keep it that way. 01:11:42.196 --> 01:11:46.336 So if you've heard something that you think could help someone you know, please 01:11:46.336 --> 01:11:48.476 share it using the link in the show notes. 01:11:49.306 --> 01:11:53.656 Also, if you will give Faith and Purpose a positive review on your podcast platform, 01:11:54.106 --> 01:11:55.746 you could help more people find it. 01:11:56.356 --> 01:12:00.421 You will probably never know how that small effort can make a big 01:12:00.421 --> 01:12:03.971 difference in someone's life, but our Heavenly Father knows. 01:12:04.471 --> 01:12:09.271 Speaking of sharing, if you know a Jesus follower with a story to tell, please send 01:12:09.271 --> 01:12:11.201 them a link to Faith and Purpose Podcast. 01:12:12.171 --> 01:12:14.331 It may encourage them to tell their story. 01:12:14.731 --> 01:12:16.331 That person may even be you. 01:12:16.801 --> 01:12:19.931 Our only criteria is that Jesus be glorified. 01:12:20.701 --> 01:12:24.211 Most Christians don't share their faith because they mistakenly think 01:12:24.221 --> 01:12:28.591 their story is not interesting enough, or that it's self centered to talk 01:12:28.601 --> 01:12:33.641 about themselves, or that they are not competent to explain the gospel correctly. 01:12:34.081 --> 01:12:35.341 But none of that is relevant. 01:12:35.731 --> 01:12:39.171 If Jesus has changed your life, you have a story to tell. 01:12:40.116 --> 01:12:42.526 All of our stories are completely unique. 01:12:42.826 --> 01:12:47.596 No one has a story like yours, and you may be the only one who can reach someone 01:12:47.596 --> 01:12:49.376 else through telling your experience. 01:12:49.946 --> 01:12:51.316 So don't be intimidated. 01:12:51.646 --> 01:12:57.066 A story is just that, a true account of your own experience, and no one 01:12:57.076 --> 01:12:59.016 can disagree with your experience. 01:12:59.971 --> 01:13:04.151 When we tell what Jesus has done in our lives, we are being obedient to his 01:13:04.151 --> 01:13:08.371 command to go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. 01:13:08.771 --> 01:13:12.621 It's not about theology, and it's not about how interesting or special you are. 01:13:12.961 --> 01:13:14.621 It's all about Jesus. 01:13:15.401 --> 01:13:20.111 So when you're ready to tell how Jesus has impacted your life, you can let Jesse 01:13:20.111 --> 01:13:23.231 know at his ministry website, jesseduke. 01:13:23.251 --> 01:13:23.511 net. 01:13:24.141 --> 01:13:27.321 There you can download guidelines that will make it easy to 01:13:27.321 --> 01:13:28.781 prepare to tell your story. 01:13:29.401 --> 01:13:31.841 Thank you for listening today and Shalom.