McKay Vandenberg: Welcome to the Sandals Church podcast. My name is McKay, and I'm a part of the online team here at Sandals Church. We are so happy to have you join us today as we listen to this message with pastor Matt, teaching from our series, the gospel of Matthew. If you've enjoyed our content, consider leaving us a rating to help this podcast reach more people. Now let's get into the message.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown: Have you ever felt like you were just failing at something? You ever been there? Like you're giving it your best effort, you're giving it your all, and no matter your efforts, it's just not working out. This week, my wife caught me crying. And I was reading a book and it's a much thicker book than this.
This is the book God gave us. The book my professor gave me is about this thick and that's because Jesus loves us professors don't. Amen? And and it literally is the story of preachers for two thousand years. Great men of God, great women of God who preached amazing sermons and lived amazing lives.
And I just gotta tell you, I just felt not inspired. I I felt like a failure. I mean I was literally reading a sermon by Charles Spurgeon and if you wanna feel like a failure as a pastor, read that guy. Never went to school, I've been to school, didn't help at all. And it's just amazing.
And my wife said, are you crying? And listen to me men, I did what all good, godly men would do, I lied. I said, I'm not. And here's what I love about my wife. We're gonna talk a little bit about marriage today.
She stopped what she was doing. She came over, she sat on the couch and she said, what's going on? What's going on? And just began to unpack some of the failure that I feel like I've been experiencing lately. And so what's interesting is the message that I have this week, it's like God knew, right?
The message that I have this week is finding hope for those who fail. Ain't that interesting? That on the week that I'm supposed to talk to you about overcoming failure, I feel overwhelmed with failure. So I have good news for you. If you feel like you're the only one, I want you to look at the first point on your notes.
Everyone fails at something. Everyone. Everyone fails at something. Parents, one of your jobs is to teach your kids it's okay to fail. And here's the thing, parents who don't teach their kids to fail as children become failures adults.
We have to teach them. Everybody fails at something. Right? How has it gone when we gave every team an award? How's that worked out?
We're all winners. Okay? And none of those kids wanna work. Amen? That's what happened.
They're like, we're all winners. Why do we need to work? Everyone fails. Whether you're an ordinary person or an extraordinary person. You say, well, we're all extraordinary.
Well, that's another lie that we've all been taught. I'm not playing in the NBA no matter how much you pray. So stop praying. But I want you to know that everybody fails. Look at this passage in second Chronicles.
This is second Chronicles twenty thirty two through 33. Second Chronicles, by the way, is a book in the Bible that kinda glosses over some of the worst parts of Israel's history. Okay? So first and second Kings is like the real deal. Chronicles is like we weren't that bad.
Okay? So this is like your family history. Okay? Second Chronicles it says Jehoshaphat which by the way terrible name for a boy. Jehoshaphat, I want you to underline this in your notes.
What kind of king was he? He's a good king. Okay? He's a good king. Listen to me, some of you are good guys, you're good ladies, good husbands, good wives, good kids, you're good people.
Following the ways of his father Asa, he did what was pleasing in the Lord's sight. Amen. He's great. Look at the next line. During his reign, what does that mean?
When he's in charge. When he was king. However, look at the next two words. What does it say? He failed.
He failed. Listen to this. Good guy, good king, good man. He failed to remove all the pagan shrines and the people never fully committed themselves to follow the God of their ancestors. Listen to me parents, the most important job you have as parents is not to educate your children and provide for your children a better life than you had.
Your job is to get your kids to know and love God. Amen. And here's the thing, Jehoshaphat failed. He was good at a lot of stuff but he missed the most important thing. The king failed to lead the next generation to know and love God and to follow him.
We love to criticize young people and the way that America is headed. The problem is the previous generation was like Jehoshaphat. They were good at a lot of stuff. What they forgot to do was get the next generation to fall in love with God. Again, everybody fails at something.
So let's just run through some failure opportunities. Amen? How about this one? Diet and exercise. How do we do it?
Anybody convicted? I want I wanna guess that there's somebody online watching at home because they couldn't make it to church that is literally eating an entire bag of Sour Patch Kids right now as they watch that. Can you imagine if that's a real person? They're like, woah, he knows. But we we all know what we should be eating.
We all know we should be moving and we don't. K? How about this next one? Addictions. Pastor Fredo preached an amazing message on lust last week.
Okay? They didn't ask me to do it because I'm so spiritual. Kidding. But think about it, some of you last week made a commitment to God. I'm not gonna look at porn and you did on Tuesday.
I'm gonna give up alcohol once and for all. I'm gonna stop smoking weed. I'm gonna tell somebody I'm a meth addict. Think about that. And you failed.
What do you do with that? It's why those who struggle with addiction, the slogan is one day at a time. One day at a time. You know what a new day is? It's a new opportunity to overcome your addiction.
Okay? Next, look at this one, work. Man, you ever felt like you're failing at work? Boy, did this week. Man, I was just feeling like I am just a terrible pastor.
Some of you, you've been fired. You've been fired? You know I've only applied and been interviewed for two jobs in my life as a pastor, didn't get either one. Be yourself, they said. It doesn't work for me.
But maybe you got fired. Listen to this. Especially men. Maybe you got demoted. That's fun.
Or maybe you're just not as successful as your brother or your sister, or your mom or your dad. Man, there's a lot of ways to feel like a failure. How about this one? School. I hate it.
You don't know this, but I went back to school this year because I love to torture myself. And I'm I know I don't look that old, but I'm old. When I went to school, we turned in things, listen to me young people, they were called papers, and it was actual paper. That's what you turned in. It looked like this, here you go.
And so I had to call the school and I said, I don't know how to turn in my assignments. And the professor said, oh, well you can do that on Canvas. And I said, I don't know what Canvas is. I had to ask my 22 year old son. He helped me turn in my PhD homework.
That's how dumb I felt this week. How about this one? Your relationship with God. How many of you have ever felt that way? Come on, raise your hands.
Your hands should be up if you've ever read the Bible. And here's the thing is, we all fail in our relationship with God. Look at Romans three twenty three. Now this is out of the voice translation. I love how they translate this because I think it's perfect for what we wanna talk about today.
It says, you see, all have sinned and all their futile attempts to reach God in his glory, what does it say? Fail. Fail. Here's what makes Christianity different from every other religion. Every other religion believes that somehow, someway you can be successful.
Right? Christianity says you can't. We don't go up. Jesus came down. That's what we believe.
Amen. But let's be honest. The hardest failure the hardest failure to recover from is relationship.
Morgan Teruel: Hey, everybody. Thank you for being a part of Sandals Church online today. Before we continue on in the message, we just wanna take a moment to invite you to be a part of the work that God is doing here at Sandals Church by going to give.sc. For now, let's continue on into the message.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown: I remember when my kids got their hearts broken in high school. You know what we tell kids? We lie to them. You'll get over it. It's not true.
It's not true. There was this girl my sophomore year in high school named Wendy. She dumped me in computer class. She said, it's not that I don't like you, it's that I like someone else. If Wendy came to Sandals, I would say Jesus loves you but I don't.
Go to Harvest. Can we be honest? Broken relationships hurt. They hurt. Man.
How about this? You ever feel like you've failed? Look at this. As a spouse? That's like every Tuesday in my home.
You know? I cannot tell you how many times I've let Tammy down. You know, and she doesn't even have that high of a standard. She knew what she was getting into, right? You know?
How about this one? How many of you guys feel like you failed as a parent? Know? Doesn't that hurt when you when you feel like you you disappoint your kid, you hurt your kid, you mess up, and that's just really, really hard to get over. And and look at this next one.
You ever feel like you failed as a child? Now, there's not a kid in here that probably feels like that. But can I tell you I experienced one of my worst failures in my adult life last week? I'm going to try not to cry. My dad has dementia and with my dad he gets excited, he's happy and he gets angry real quick.
And usually I'm a pretty good son. And I handle the rise of those emotions. And this last week, I lost it. I lost control. I lost my temper.
And I coulda hurt my dad. And I gotta tell you, I left my parents' house, I called my wife, I called pastor Dan, I called my brother. I couldn't believe, you ever been that way? Where you can't believe what you just did? Like like, you're just like, who was that?
What was that? And I had to sit down with my parents later this week and and just apologize. And here's what I told my dad and my mom. I said, I'm not angry at you. I said, I'm scared.
I told my dad, I'm scared for you. I told my mom, I'm scared for you. And I told my dad, I'm scared for me because I can't fix you. And I asked for forgiveness, and my parents were great. They forgave me, but man, I gotta tell you, it still really messed with my head.
How about this? You ever feel like you failed as a friend? Man, I can't I cannot tell you how many times I've had a friend that needed me and I wasn't there for them. I just, you know, I was busy, misunderstood, I didn't make it a priority. I cannot tell you how many times I've experienced a divorce and a friendship.
Like we talk about divorce, right, in marriage, but we don't talk about it in terms of friendships. It's tough. Look at this in Acts fifteen thirty eight through 39. It says Paul, this is the Apostle Paul by the way, he wrote most of the New Testament. So this, can we all agree he's a pretty good Christian?
Okay? If your hand's not up I don't know what you're thinking. But he wrote half your New Testament, so pretty good guy. But Paul disagreed so strongly since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued to continue with them in their work. Listen to this.
Now who's Barnabas? Listen to me. Barnabas is the one who discipled Paul. Can I tell you that as your pastor there are people that I've discipled who've lived in my home whom I've loved, prayed for, held accountable who do not speak to me? Let me tell you let just tell you.
That's tough stuff. And you wanna know why that is? Even the best of us can experience a broken relationship. Now here's the thing, we know from scripture that Paul and Mark figured it out. Do you know that nowhere in the Bible does it say that Barnabas and Paul ever figured it out?
We just we just don't know what happened. They separated. Okay? You're like wow, can't believe that you're a terrible pastor. Okay, let's look at scripture.
James three:two. We all what? Make many mistakes. We all make many mistakes. A person who never said anything wrong would what?
Be perfect. And that's not you. And that's not me. His name is Jesus. Amen?
Amen. His name is Jesus. Now, here's where the sermon is gonna get really really tough because I'm going to speak to an issue today in our study of Matthew where we are so far out of line as a church because our culture is so far out of line with what God has to say about marriage. Okay? So we're talking about relational failure.
Listen to this. This is what Jesus is gonna teach. There is almost always hope for a failing marriage. Almost always. What I'm about to read is one of the most challenging scriptures for us to hear and obey.
Let me say that again. And obey in today's culture. What we are gonna talk about is going to produce conviction in some of you. Now that's the holy spirit. Amen?
Conviction conviction is good. He's gonna redirect you. He's gonna say, no. No. No.
No. No. You are not gonna get divorced. You're gonna give your marriage a second chance. Amen.
Amen. Now listen to me. Some of you are gonna feel guilt and shame. That's not the holy spirit. That's the devil.
And he wants to keep you where you are, broken and ashamed. Let's take a look at Matthew, we're studying the book of Matthew, let's open our Bibles to Matthew chapter five verses 31 through 32. Two verses and let me tell you, you know what this means? Jesus is gonna hit you with a right and a left today. And if you actually obey this you're not gonna get up.
It's gonna knock you out. Here's what Jesus says about divorce. He said, it was also said, remember Jesus is, he's challenging the thinking of the day. It was also said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except on the ground of sexual immorality makes her commit adultery, and everyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Woah. What on earth do we do with that? Because according to what Jesus said, many of us have committed adultery. If you go back last week to what pastor Fredo said, we've all committed adultery. This is heavy stuff.
So what's happening here? Jesus is reinterpreting a passage in the Hebrew Bible, okay, that's called the Old Testament. If you know what that is, it's the stuff at the beginning. Okay? The Old Testament, that's what Jewish people believe are scriptures.
Then Christians and Jewish people who are Christian, they also accept what we call the New Testament. It's the story of Jesus and the teaching of Jesus' disciples. But there's this book in the Old Testament called Deuteronomy and some people don't know this, it's the book that Jesus quotes from the most. And he's talking about this passage called Deuteronomy twenty four one through four. Now let me tell you something, it's very difficult to understand and interpret.
But here's what you need to know. Some of us feel like, well, you know, in Jesus' day, things were so different. Not in the area of divorce. Today, just like in the day of Jesus, people were way too casual about divorce. Almost everyone listening has a family or a friend who's gone through a divorce.
I mean, how many of you know somebody that's gone through it? Raise your hands. Okay? Like, I have a friend of mine. He's a pastor.
He is the only marriage in his family history going back as many generations as they can count. He has 27 divorces in his family going back six and seven generations. He and his wife are the first ones to remain married. Isn't that crazy? And he's 80, so they're almost there.
Right? You know? I mean that wouldn't be a great story if they were like 23. Know, it's like, well, you can still fail buddy. And here's the thing, so we all know of someone who's gone through a divorce.
And we know how awkward that is as family, as friends, what do you do now? Like, right, we love this person, now do we not I mean, what do we do? Because divorce is ripping people apart. It's ripping souls apart. It's ripping relations apart.
And it doesn't just affect the people who get divorced. It affects all the people that have loved you. It affects the kids. It affects the family. Now, if you've been divorced, listen, I'm not trying to beat you up.
I'm trying to lift you up today. Some of us have gone through the pain of divorce personally. Okay? Like you've gone through this. Now, for those of us as couples who haven't been divorced, let's be honest.
Almost all couples have had a moment where the marriage might have been over. Listen to me married couples. Marriage is a precious thing. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen good people who love each other get divorced. Because in a moment, they chose to continue arguing, they chose to continue to get angry instead of choosing counseling or cooling off.
I mean let's be honest, how long does it take you as an individual to get real stupid? I mean, that's like zero amens. Zero. Listen to me young people, doing it right is always the hard way. Doing it wrong is usually the easy way out.
Okay? Jesus teaches here, this is the word of God. These aren't my words, these are his words. Jesus teaches that divorce should be avoided at all costs except in the most extreme cases. Now let's stop right here.
Everybody that gets divorced thinks it's extreme. Listen to me if you're a Christian. I would advise you as your pastor that you yourself don't get to decide what's extreme. If you brought God into your marriage ceremony, why not bring God into your exit? K?
I I don't understand this. You got married in the church, but you get divorced in the court. Bring bring God into it. And you know why that is? I I cannot tell you how many times I've offended both my friends, and they've said, I don't feel like you're on my side.
And I said, I'm not on either of your side. I'm on God's side. And I don't think either of you know him right now. Because I'm speaking for the marriage because no one is. If you're a Christian couple and you're considering divorce, listen to me very carefully.
As a Christian couple, you both love Jesus. If you truly want to be right with God, listen to me, you will find a way to make it right with each other. But even if you're not a Christian or you're not religious, before you give up on your marriage, why not try Jesus? Why not? What do you have to lose?
As your pastor for almost thirty years, here's what I can tell you. Divorce rarely solves the problem. In our culture, if you have kids and resources and things, you're not separated. You're still connected to the kids you both love and the money you both made. And if you thought it was hard living together when you were in love, let me tell you what it's like when you hate each other.
I've had a front row seat to this over and over again. A lot of people misbelieve they think divorce is a way out. Man, just isn't you still have to deal with that person if you're connected financially and with children and it gets harder not easier and then you get remarried Now we have more wonderful people involved in this relationship that couldn't work when it was just you two It gets more and more difficult Listen to me, we have an amazing marriage ministry here at Sandals Church Amazing Okay? And almost all of what we do as a church is free. So now it's on you.
We would love to come alongside you and not to judge you but to help you. You know, I I don't know who I know and I don't know who knows me, I just don't, I had to give up on that about fifteen years ago and so I was in the doctor's office and the nurse was taking all of these notes and asking me about all my symptoms and what's going on and I've been having all kinds of back pain and that's because I have to pastor you guys and so it's a lot of weight. Just kidding, just kidding. And so she fills up the paperwork and she says the doctor will be in to see you in a moment. She walks out to the door, she opens the door and then she closes the door still standing in the room.
And I'm like this is not gonna be good. You know? Because I don't know who likes me, right? I don't know who's like, you know, you know, I'm like, man, I'm going to get screamed at by a nurse in a closed room. You know, and she turns around and as soon as she turns around I just see the tears.
And she says, You're Pastor Matt, right? And I can't lie, she's just got my she's got my paperwork! You know, she's confirmed my now she knows where I live. We've updated my information, my phone number. Like, you know, I'm in a robe.
You know what I'm saying? I'm fairly vulnerable in this moment. And she says, my marriage is failing. She says, does your church have anything for us? And I said, absolutely, absolutely.
I said, the first thing you need to do is you need to come to church. That's the first thing. I said, then I want to encourage you to join marriage ministry. You know I was here a couple of weeks ago on a Saturday night at the Hunter Park campus where we have a huge marriage gathering once a month and that nurse came up to me and guess who she introduced me to in the lobby of our church? Her husband.
Amen? And here's what she said, she said we're doing so much better. And I said I feel so much better talking to you not just in a robe. You know? I mean, because she had told me, strip down.
I mean, she told she's the one that told me, strip. Which is just weird, you know? But I'm grateful that it worked out and I'm grateful to God. And she told me, she said, we're not supposed to do this as nurses. She said, but I'm desperate.
Listen, if you're desperate, instead of turning to an attorney who's gonna make a buck off your divorce, why not come to church where we don't charge anything to help you? Okay? Now I wanna encourage you in this. But some of you are like, Pastor, it's too late. I've already failed.
I'm just an addict. That's just who I am. I'm not married but, you know, I have sex outside of marriage, I'm addicted to porn, I'm lost Pastor Matt, there's no hope for me. I want you to know that that's not the Lord speaking. That's your enemy.
I want you to know this and I never want you to forget this. Look at this on the screen. Jesus is a greater healer than you are a failure. Amen? I don't know what you've done.
I don't know how bad it is. But I know the blood on the cross that was shed for you is more powerful than what you did. Amen? It just is. It just is.
And so here's the thing, sometimes when we come to church, we feel convicted and we feel bad. Do you know that's the number one reason that a lot of people stop going to church? They say, I hated feeling bad. And the reason for that is a lot of churches still preach like there's only one half of the Bible, the Old Testament, the law and they forget grace that's on the other half. Listen to what John says in the beginning of his Gospel, John one seventeen For the law, right, that's the Old Testament, was given through Moses Look at that butt Look at that butt It's okay, it's not a sin, but look at that butt But God's, do you see it?
But God's unfailing love and faithfulness, listen to me, came through Jesus. So let me ask you, what may what may be keeping you from experiencing God's love? What what's keeping you? What's blocking you? What's holding you back?
Because listen to me, it's not God. Here's what it might be. My spiritual enemy. Some of you, even today, are Christians, and you could preach the gospel to anyone everyone but yourself. And you're believing this lie.
I can't be forgiven because I knew better. I was raised in a Christian home, and there's hope for everyone else and not me. That's the devil. That's the devil. It's not Jesus.
I want you to know that there was a battle a long time ago. I don't know when it was. The Bible just says it happened. In Revelation chapter twelve seven through nine, it says, and there was a war in heaven. There was a war in heaven, and Michael and his angels, they fought against the dragon.
Dragon. And the dragon fought against his angels. And the great dragon, listen to these words and never forget it, was cast out. Yes. That old serpent called who?
The devil. And he's got other names. And Satan. Which deceiveth the whole world. I had to go King James on that one.
Come on. Who deceiveth the whole world. Do you know what Satan's number one role in your failures is? Lying to you. Lying to you.
My son and I took a father son trip to Japan and it was an amazing trip. But we had a night man. We had a night. And we were eating lunch. And I have my son's permission to share this story.
We were eating lunch and I said, hey, Ethan. I forgot to tell you what happened last night while you were sleeping. He's like, what, dad? I said, there was a demon over your bed. Like if your dad is like a teacher, he's like, hey, let's talk about the Lakers game.
You know, when your dad's a pastor, it's like, let's talk about the demon over your bed. I said, there was a demon over your bed. I kid you not. It was three in the morning. I woke up.
This thing was standing over my son's bed. I got up. I ran at it, and I said, out. Out in Jesus' name. Out.
My son didn't even move. The dude could sleep through a train coming through our room. And then I knew I have to pray over him. I have to pray over my son. And then I was conflicted.
I'm like, do I do? I don't know if he's nude in the bed. I don't know what's going on. You know, I don't know what's happening in there under those sheets. And so I just decided, I said, I just prayed over you like this.
And I said, Jesus, whatever it is, cast it out. Send it away and tell him you love him. And I told my son that. He was eating ramen noodles. And his face turned ghost white.
And he said, dad, I'm so grateful you did that. He said, last night I was having a nightmare. Listen to me, young man. He said, I dreamed I failed sexually. And something was chasing me, telling me I could never be forgiven.
And I could never get away. He said, then all of a sudden, dad, I knew I was gonna be okay. I knew I was gonna be okay. Listen to me. Some of you, your problem is not.
You don't have faith in God. Your problem is you're listening to your the shadow that is telling you you're no good. You'll never be forgiven. No one will ever love you. You're worthless.
You'll always be an addict. That's not God. That's right. Next, let's be honest. What keeps me from getting right with God?
My own insecurity and doubt. I don't know. I don't know. Why did I lie to Tammy when she asked me if I was crying? Insecurity.
My wife and I have the most intimate relationship with each other of you know, more so than anybody that we have, more than our kids, more than our parents. And the most intimate person in the world to me asked me, hey, are you okay? And I said, yeah, I'm fine. Why would you say that? My eyes are just leaking.
Leaking. Listen to me man. You know what's keeping you from God? Your pride. Your pride.
What would happen today if we told the enemy to get out of here and we invited you to get real? Come on, Daniel. That's right. Psalm fifty one one. Have mercy on me, oh God, because I deserve it, because I've earned it, because of your unfailing love, because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins.
Is divorce a sin? Yes. Can you fix it? Maybe not. Jesus can blot it out.
Jesus can blot it out. If you're single and not married and you're battling sexual purity and you feel like you're losing every day, You're like, what can fix this? What can blot out the stain of my sin? Jesus can. Jesus can.
Romans ten thirteen for everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord will what? Be saved. So let me ask you, what is the name of the Lord? What is the name? When Israel was facing its greatest battle, they had a general named Hoshea.
And God told Moses, Hoshea is gonna fight for us, but you are gonna change his name to Yahshua and you want to know what Hoshea means? Salvation and you want to know what God wanted the people of Israel to say? To know you don't save yourself, I save you. Yahweh saves you. And the name Yahweh means Yahweh saves.
Do you want to know what Jesus' name is? A form of Joshua. He is your savior and he can save you. I wanna encourage you right now to call upon the name of Jesus. I wanna encourage you right now to cast that devil out.
I wanna encourage you to say no to your shadow and to say yes to your savior. Amen? Yes. To say yes to your savior. Some of you, you need to pray over your families.
You need to pray over your kids. You need to pray over your message or over your marriage because the enemy is over you and listen to me parents, you think Satan just wants my boy? You think he's just happy with my kids? He wants your kids as well. He wants your kids and just like Jehoshaphat, Satan convinced him to be a good king but not to teach his kids about the Lord.
We've got to be a church. We've got to be a church that honors God. We've got to be a church that says, Lord, heal my marriage. Lord, forgive my sins. Let's call upon the name of Jesus right now.
I just want you to bow your heads and close your eyes and if you need prayer for a relationship, I don't care what it is. You're single, you're married, divorced, dating, I don't care what it is. If you need prayer, I just want you to lift your hands up right now and I'm gonna pray over you in the name of Jesus. In the name of Jesus, I pray Lord over these hands raised. And Jesus, ask that right now you send Michael and your most powerful angels to fight for these people whose hands are raised.
And just like Michael kicked the devil out of heaven, I pray that you kick him out of their lives, out of their marriage, out of their screens, out of their phones, out of their lives. He has no power here. He cannot win. But Lord Jesus, we don't just want to invite the devil to leave, we wanna invite you to come into our hearts. It's not enough to kick him out, Lord Jesus.
We gotta invite you in. Whoever calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved right now. We we call on you, Lord. Save our marriage. We call on you.
Save our children. Lord, we call on you. Save our souls. We call on you, Lord Jesus. Save us.
We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.
Morgan Teruel: Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you want more content from this series, we have the YouTube playlist linked in the description. And if you want more information about who we are and what we do, you can go to sandalschurch.com.