Colin (00:00:07):
Hi.

Rachel (00:00:07):
Happy birthday.

Colin (00:00:08):
Thank you.

Colin (00:00:09):
Happy anniversary.

Colin (00:00:12):
Someone said it's birthday and not anniversary.

Colin (00:00:15):
Why do they say birthday and not anniversary?

Rachel (00:00:17):
Because they celebrate birthday night.

Colin (00:00:20):
Well, it's our anniversary.

Rachel (00:00:21):
I feel like you...

Rachel (00:00:25):
like I'm growing up at least in sobriety so I do feel like three years old about

Colin (00:00:30):
right now I guess you're right it makes more sense to have it be birthday I just

Colin (00:00:34):
misspoken with anniversary but I was like people say soberversary yeah soberversary

Rachel (00:00:38):
okay so it still works but yeah people will say like happy birthday but welcome to

Colin (00:00:42):
sober banter welcome to sober banter I'm three years sober Colin and I'm three

Rachel (00:00:47):
years with a few more hours sober Rachel

Colin (00:00:51):
There you go.

Colin (00:00:52):
Always getting that extra hour in on me.

Rachel (00:00:54):
Well, I liked that I used the comparison that we talk about how we do not judge in our sobriety.

Rachel (00:01:03):
And I think it's really cool that I had my last drink on the 21st.

Rachel (00:01:08):
You had your last drink on the 22nd.

Rachel (00:01:10):
But we both got the desire chip.

Colin (00:01:13):
A few last drinks on the 22nd.

Rachel (00:01:15):
We both got our desire chip on the 22nd.

Rachel (00:01:18):
And so we actually compromised.

Rachel (00:01:20):
And that's our sobriety date because that was when we said we weren't going to

Rachel (00:01:26):
drink for the next 24 hours.

Rachel (00:01:28):
So we go both ways.

Rachel (00:01:29):
So you can either do it the day of your last drink or you can do it the day that you get your chip.

Rachel (00:01:33):
Either way works.

Colin (00:01:34):
What I mean, is that something that's talked about in the sober community?

Colin (00:01:38):
Like what's more common?

Colin (00:01:39):
Because I always had the impression that

Colin (00:01:42):
your sobriety date is like the day you decided to quit drinking and walked in to

Colin (00:01:49):
rehab a church whatever program yeah self-will i think it's 50 50 to be honest i've

Colin (00:01:55):
heard both like last like this was my last drink but

Rachel (00:01:59):
I think it's again,

Rachel (00:02:00):
when you say makes sense,

Colin (00:02:02):
because what if someone had their last drink,

Colin (00:02:04):
but then went to a program a couple of days later and it's like,

Colin (00:02:08):
well,

Colin (00:02:09):
when is there actual sobriety date when they stopped drinking or when they found a

Colin (00:02:13):
program like a couple of days later?

Rachel (00:02:15):
I think it's when you kind of say like,

Rachel (00:02:17):
I'm committed to the like,

Rachel (00:02:20):
again,

Rachel (00:02:20):
whenever you take your desire chip or whenever you write down like in when I got my

Rachel (00:02:26):
big book,

Rachel (00:02:26):
I mean,

Rachel (00:02:27):
I wrote down my sobriety date.

Colin (00:02:29):
it was 11.22 so you wrote when you got your big book you went on yeah 22 not 21.

Rachel (00:02:35):
right okay okay because the day before i had no idea what a was i and i really i on

Rachel (00:02:42):
the 21st i had

Rachel (00:02:44):
I had no idea I was going to get sober.

Rachel (00:02:47):
You know, like I just didn't want to live.

Rachel (00:02:48):
I was like, yeah.

Rachel (00:02:50):
I mean,

Rachel (00:02:50):
obviously alcohol was a problem,

Rachel (00:02:51):
but at the time I didn't see,

Rachel (00:02:54):
I was like,

Rachel (00:02:55):
the problem is my mental health,

Rachel (00:02:57):
not the amount I'm drinking.

Rachel (00:02:59):
Right.

Colin (00:02:59):
Problem is I can't stop the party.

Rachel (00:03:02):
Like at that time.

Rachel (00:03:04):
But I think I was just so, I really thought I was going to get drove to the loony bin.

Rachel (00:03:09):
Yeah.

Rachel (00:03:11):
So the compromise of like just go to a 6 p.m.

Rachel (00:03:15):
meeting was like,

Rachel (00:03:17):
and you're sure you don't want to just take me to like,

Rachel (00:03:20):
you know,

Rachel (00:03:20):
72-hour hold and...

Colin (00:03:24):
Shock treatment.

Rachel (00:03:25):
Yeah, I don't know.

Rachel (00:03:28):
So again,

Rachel (00:03:28):
it's like...

Rachel (00:03:29):
And that meeting was I heard what I needed to hear to be like,

Rachel (00:03:34):
there's a lot...

Rachel (00:03:35):
I have a lot of similarities to these people.

Rachel (00:03:38):
And I wasn't expecting... I didn't know...

Rachel (00:03:41):
What AA was like.

Rachel (00:03:43):
In my head I think.

Rachel (00:03:44):
I thought it was.

Rachel (00:03:47):
People like sitting in a circle.

Rachel (00:03:49):
All sad.

Colin (00:03:51):
I guess.

Colin (00:03:51):
Because I had never put much thought into AA.

Colin (00:03:54):
And I think.

Colin (00:03:56):
At the time,

Colin (00:03:57):
I thought it was kind of like those groups in the movie Fight Club,

Colin (00:04:01):
but he never goes to an AA meeting.

Colin (00:04:03):
He goes to like meetings where people have like cancer and they're going to die.

Colin (00:04:08):
So they're really dark and gloomy and stuff.

Rachel (00:04:10):
Yeah, that's what I figured.

Rachel (00:04:11):
I'm like, they're sitting there with their coffee all sad.

Colin (00:04:13):
And so that's what I assumed AA was, not realizing like nobody's necessarily dying in AA.

Colin (00:04:20):
Like in Fight Club,

Colin (00:04:21):
he's going to like these people that have diseases that are going to die and

Colin (00:04:25):
they're like mourning groups.

Colin (00:04:27):
This is completely different.

Colin (00:04:30):
But yeah, AA was a lot different.

Colin (00:04:33):
There's someone in one of the groups I go to now.

Colin (00:04:35):
Yeah.

Colin (00:04:37):
and he said how do you know where the meeting it was someone was he was giving

Colin (00:04:41):
directions to a meeting to someone in like an elevator it's in this big building

Colin (00:04:46):
it's like well how do you know where it is and he's like well just when you follow

Colin (00:04:51):
the laughter because i don't think people realize how much laughter is in aa it can

Colin (00:04:57):
be a really serious place but it can also be a really fun place oh yeah where the

Colin (00:05:02):
people are sharing and the

Colin (00:05:05):
the way everyone can relate,

Colin (00:05:07):
regardless of who you are,

Colin (00:05:08):
your background,

Colin (00:05:09):
your beliefs,

Colin (00:05:10):
you have that one thing in common and it is the,

Colin (00:05:16):
The things you would go to, the lengths you would go to to get drunk or to get what you need.

Colin (00:05:21):
Yeah.

Colin (00:05:22):
It's just so ridiculous.

Colin (00:05:24):
And you look at it now and you're like, that is so beyond silly and stupid that you just.

Rachel (00:05:31):
Like our cat running through the blinds right now.

Rachel (00:05:34):
Sorry.

Rachel (00:05:34):
That's what I was distracted by.

Rachel (00:05:36):
I'm like, you were doing great.

Rachel (00:05:37):
And Kit Kat is just ruining it.

Rachel (00:05:39):
I think the other thing.

Rachel (00:05:41):
the way that my grandma would describe it.

Rachel (00:05:45):
And again,

Rachel (00:05:46):
so this is definitely where the times have kind of shifted is if you saw a bunch of

Rachel (00:05:51):
people that don't necessarily look like they're in a,

Rachel (00:05:56):
like,

Rachel (00:05:56):
like a friend group,

Rachel (00:05:57):
but they're all smoking cigarettes next to each other.

Rachel (00:06:00):
That's how, you know, it's an AA meeting nearby.

Rachel (00:06:02):
Yeah.

Colin (00:06:03):
But I mean, see a sign that says foot doctor.

Colin (00:06:05):
That's how, you know, there's an AA meeting around the corner.

Rachel (00:06:09):
Some people are even not smoking that they're on the terrace and they're kind of.

Colin (00:06:13):
You see a group of people vaping that don't look like they'd be friends.

Rachel (00:06:17):
Like, but yeah, I was like at Dallas North.

Rachel (00:06:18):
There's not really no one really smokes out.

Rachel (00:06:20):
So I don't see any at least like maybe they do.

Rachel (00:06:23):
And I know Preston group.

Rachel (00:06:24):
I don't see anyone smoking outside.

Colin (00:06:27):
There's a few smokers at the one I go to in downtown.

Colin (00:06:30):
Yeah.

Rachel (00:06:31):
Yeah, those might just be homeless people, though.

Colin (00:06:34):
We've had a few homeless people in the meeting.

Rachel (00:06:36):
And you know what?

Rachel (00:06:36):
That's fine.

Rachel (00:06:37):
Like,

Rachel (00:06:37):
I mean,

Rachel (00:06:37):
as long as no one is rude or dangerous,

Rachel (00:06:41):
like maybe they'll hear what they need to hear because a lot of people who are

Rachel (00:06:45):
homeless do have a drug or drinking problem,

Rachel (00:06:48):
you know,

Rachel (00:06:49):
and it was.

Rachel (00:06:51):
I think that was another part of like.

Rachel (00:06:57):
When the day came of.

Rachel (00:07:01):
quitting drinking again there was nothing in my head that I thought drinking was my

Rachel (00:07:07):
problem it still wasn't even that day I wasn't like I have a problem with drinking

Rachel (00:07:13):
it again was all about like I just didn't really want to live anymore and at the

Rachel (00:07:18):
time I didn't know why I just knew I was very unhappy it wasn't until I started

Rachel (00:07:25):
working the steps that I realized it was

Rachel (00:07:30):
being able to not live with alcohol and not being able to live without it or maybe

Rachel (00:07:34):
it was through sharing at the meeting but you know it wasn't i wasn't immediately

Rachel (00:07:39):
like i'm an alcoholic i need to go to a meeting like it took just kind of the

Rachel (00:07:47):
guiding and again there was no pushing because i think if you would have pushed me

Rachel (00:07:53):
I would have probably fought back,

Rachel (00:07:56):
but no one,

Rachel (00:07:57):
all I was asked is to go to this meeting,

Rachel (00:08:00):
just be open-minded.

Rachel (00:08:01):
And I had agreed to it other than, you know, being drove to a hospital.

Rachel (00:08:08):
So, I mean.

Colin (00:08:09):
See, that's funny because I a hundred percent knew alcohol was the problem in this household.

Colin (00:08:16):
But I also thought it was the solution at the same time.

Rachel (00:08:19):
Yeah.

Colin (00:08:20):
So that was kind of the cycle I was in.

Rachel (00:08:22):
I mean, I think I kind of knew.

Colin (00:08:23):
Because I was like...

Colin (00:08:25):
I mean,

Colin (00:08:25):
there was one time I remember we were talking to your parents and they were trying

Colin (00:08:29):
to do some weird counseling with us.

Colin (00:08:32):
And yeah, I know.

Rachel (00:08:33):
My mom listens.

Colin (00:08:34):
Yeah, I know.

Colin (00:08:35):
And she might remember this.

Colin (00:08:36):
But as I think like her husband was talking to me,

Colin (00:08:40):
your mom was talking to you in different rooms because they could tell we were kind

Colin (00:08:44):
of having issues or problems.

Colin (00:08:46):
And in my head,

Colin (00:08:47):
I remember thinking,

Colin (00:08:48):
I just wanted to say out loud,

Colin (00:08:49):
be like,

Colin (00:08:50):
okay,

Colin (00:08:50):
we all know the problem's alcohol here,

Colin (00:08:52):
right?

Colin (00:08:53):
And I wanted to like look at everyone like,

Colin (00:08:55):
We all know, no one's addressing it, but we all know alcohol is the problem.

Colin (00:08:59):
We all know it.

Colin (00:09:01):
And I didn't say it, but I thought it.

Colin (00:09:03):
And so I knew for a while,

Colin (00:09:05):
like,

Colin (00:09:05):
yeah,

Colin (00:09:06):
alcohol is definitely the problem here because the days we didn't drink when we try

Colin (00:09:11):
to go on our stints and we make a day,

Colin (00:09:14):
two,

Colin (00:09:14):
three days.

Colin (00:09:16):
you know, we'd be fine.

Colin (00:09:17):
And you'd be like, oh, I feel great.

Colin (00:09:19):
And making dinner.

Colin (00:09:20):
And then by day three or four, it was like, wait, look how good we did.

Colin (00:09:25):
Let's treat ourselves.

Colin (00:09:26):
And then just back into the, you know, that cycle.

Colin (00:09:32):
All right.

Rachel (00:09:36):
All right.

Rachel (00:09:36):
Thank you for listening to Sober Banter.

Rachel (00:09:38):
See you later.

Rachel (00:09:40):
Bye.