There’s a hidden root cause behind
most of our relationship challenges.
And it’s not about the “other” person.
It’s something more insidious.
In fact you can’t even feel it most of the time.
Most of us who are stuck in relationship dynamics that feel toxic,
living in a “should I stay or go” situation are painfully unaware
that there’s something deeper that isn’t being addressed.
It’s called “dissociation”.
Dissociation is a protective mechanism that causes us
to leave our bodies when we are children
when we encounter pain or emotional charge that is too much, too, soon,
or not enough for a prolonged period of time.
We end up numbing ourselves.
Disconnecting from reality.
Scrolling, numbing, avoiding, hiding.
Anything to avoid feeling what’s inside.
This causes us to live like we are floating,
drifting through life, grasping for safety, validation,
or to be seen and heard by others in order to feel love.
Without even knowing, this is how many of us do relationships.
This is exactly what was happening to Mona when she reached out to me.
Grieving the breakdown of her most recent relationship feeling like she was
disconnected from reality, she went all-in and decided to heal at a biological
level (not just through talk therapy which she had tried) to get to the root cause.
She discovered she was a fawner, conditioned from her South Asian background
to abandon herself and search for safety through men.
She was so low, she didn’t even know if life was worth living.
She had never learned how to create safety from within.
She had never learned how to take her triggers and turn them into deeper intimacy.
She had never learned how to navigate the challenging terrain of setting healthy boundaries.
But when she did, everything shifted for her.
You can hear her expression when I interviewed her in this 17 minute video.
Sometimes I get shocked at the transformation people achieve
when they learn how to become their own medicine.
And then I remember that the body knows exactly what to do when we
learn how to resource ourselves.
Dissociation causes us to live like our soul has left our body.
When that’s happening, we can’t advocate for ourselves.
We betray our own self worth for the sake of attachment,
and people pleasing becomes our only grasp at safety.
If you can relate to this, just know that there’s nothing wrong with you.
There’s likely a deep conditioned fawn response
and you haven’t likely even learned how to somatically attune to your own boundaries.
But when you do, as you can see from the look on Mona’s face,
you reconnect with yourself, your younger parts, your inner child,
and all the shadows (parts of you that you’ve been trying to avoid)
can come out and play and you get to experience what true self love feels like.
You can feel it radiating from her face and voice in the video.
If she can do it,
so can you.
We CAN learn how to become our own medicine,
and become the secure partner to ourselves --
the one we've been looking outside of ourselves,
waiting for.
I found everything I was looking for in a partner
after finding it in myself— from Dissociation to deeper connection.
And that’s why it makes my heart sing to teach this
to anyone willing to look inward and master this sacred practice.
You got this.
Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima.
If you ready to break free from the cycle of dissociation
that keeps you trapped in harmful relationship patterns,
I have a 3 hour training and you’re invited.
Dissociation, a common trauma response,
can make us escape into fantasy and neglect our own needs,
leading to a cycle of unhealthy relationships.
Join me on Friday, March 15th, from 4-7pm PST (7-10pm EST) /
Saturday, March 16th, 11-2pm in Sydney, for our focused,
3-hour workshop: "From Fawning to Secure Boundaries.”
We’re limiting the session to 100 participants
to ensure personal attention and effective learning.
This workshop is crucial for anyone ready
to confront their dissociative habits and reclaim their sense of self in relationships.
For just $30, we’ll explore the links between dissociation and relationship fantasies,
how these fantasies lead to self-abandonment,
and practical steps to establish real, firm boundaries.
We’ll provide tools and techniques to keep you present and protected,
breaking the cycle of escaping into fantasy when things get tough.
If you’re tired of the disconnect and ready to face your relationships with a new,
grounded perspective, this is your chance.
Click here to secure your spot and take a definitive step towards healing and secure love.
(RELEASE DISSOCIATION AND FAWNING HERE)
http://go.drnima.com/w66da
What is Trigger Proof Transmissions (Cyclebreaker Collective)?
Welcome to the TriggerProof podcast.
This is the first season of the Podcast which are audio renditions of
Facebook Live Video Transmissions done for the “TriggerProof” Facebook Community.
These were set up by request of our community members who wanted an opportunity to listen
to insights, tools, and strategies to help heal relationship dynamics, deepen intimacy,
and master the fine art of Autonomic Nervous System Regulation so that we can build resilience,
heal from the past, and become active operators of our mind, body, and life.
This first season wasn’t designed to be a podcast, so you’ll notice the audio isn’t
Professional Studio Quality (like it is on season 2 as we’ve upgraded incrementally).
These trainings are designed to introduce and deepen you to the most critical 2 skills we’ve never been taught:
1) The skill and practice of taking our triggers (Nervous System Activations) and turning them into deeper safety and self-love,
2) The skill and practice of taking conflict (that happens in any relationship) and turning them into deeper intimacy between the parties involved.
Not learning these two critical skills at this time in history costs us dearly: Physical and Mental health is on the DECLINE.
Doing this deep level of healing work can break the cycle of Intergenerational Trauma that didn’t start with you.
It didn’t start with you, but it can end with you,
#Cyclebreaker.
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When you're ready, here's what we got:
Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month)
If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive relationship patterns, same arguments, attracting the same patterns, and you want to gain the clarity, confidence, and Courage to create secure relationships
https://drnima.com/lp/should-i-stay-or-go/?sl=transistor-podcast
Upcoming "Breathwork and Badassery" Live Event (Every month)
Regulate Your stress, deepen your connection to your inner child, process your stuck emotions and improve your capacity
https://go.drnima.com/bbvw?sl=transistor-podcast
Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month)
Dissolve your current relationship resentment, heal your attachment wounds, resolve your past and bring clarity to your next step.
https://go.drnima.com/oevw?sl=transistor-podcast
Or if you are wanting to hop on a call and discuss how we can support you through your transition and you're wanting deeper guidance on your healing journey and you're ready to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma (divorce, separation, relationship limbo, past trauma spilling into present)
https://drnima.com/discovery/application/?sl=transistor-podcast
Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof