WEBVTT 00:00:02.640 --> 00:00:16.565 This is the Sandals Church Podcast, a place for real people with real struggles learning to follow Jesus. Wherever you are right now, driving, working, or trying to make it through the day, we are really glad you're here. Let's get into today's message. 00:00:19.525 --> 00:00:49.645 We live in a society built on comparison. We exist in a constant state of evaluating ourselves against others. And this comparison is more often than not the measurement by which we determine our value, our significance, and even our identity. And here's the reality, It's killing us. How many of you grew up with siblings? 00:00:49.725 --> 00:00:55.645 How many? All right. Most of you in this room grew up with siblings. How many oldest children do we have in the room? Where's my fellow oldest children? 00:00:55.645 --> 00:01:13.875 That's me right here. We're perfectionists, right? Overachievers. But on behalf of oldest children everywhere, I would just like to let the rest of you know, we are always right. And the world would be a better place if the rest of you would just realize that, okay? 00:01:13.875 --> 00:01:26.390 Okay, now where's my... Where's the middle children? All right, I don't want you to feel left out, guys. I know you get all the hand me downs. No one ever notices you or sees you, Right? 00:01:26.390 --> 00:01:46.035 Kevin in Home Alone should have been a middle child because the middle child is the one who always gets left. It's just not fair. And on behalf of older children everywhere, it never will be. So deal with it. And now the youngest. 00:01:46.035 --> 00:01:53.635 Where's the babies of the family? The youngest. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, here's here's all I'm going to say about youngest. All right? 00:01:53.930 --> 00:02:06.810 Listen, I understand mom and dad don't see it. But I've got my eyes on you and I know you're secretly trying to take over the world. All right. That's the youngest. Everything revolves around you. 00:02:06.810 --> 00:02:21.975 Now we laugh at all of these stereotypes. But the reality is this is where comparison starts. Right? We say things like, They had it so much easier than me. Mom and dad were way harder on me than them. 00:02:21.975 --> 00:02:54.580 They got more attention. They had better stuff. They had more opportunities. And that comparison that's just naturally developed within us as kids, it never goes away. Man, instead of staring across the dinner table and comparing who got the biggest bowl of ice cream, man, now we scroll through social media and we compare ourselves to people from high school we don't even like, coworkers who drive us crazy, influencers who we have never met. 00:02:55.300 --> 00:03:06.655 We compare our marriages, our careers, our houses, our finances, our kids, our vacations. We even compare our food. I don't care what your food looks like. How does it taste? That's what I want to know. 00:03:07.535 --> 00:03:25.340 And somewhere, somewhere in the middle of all of this, we decide that we're missing out. We decide that somehow our life is not enough. Confession. Even pastors can compare. All right. 00:03:25.340 --> 00:03:59.375 Like as I got ready and I'm preparing, I'm thinking, Man, I wish I was as smart as Pastor Fredo. I wish I was as funny and as good looking as Pastor Matt. I walked in this building today and I looked around at our Hunter Park campus and I'm like, Man, if only the East Valley campus was this big. Now, for those of you who don't know, the entire East Valley campus, even the playground, could fit in the sanctuary at Hunter Park. That's that's what we got. 00:03:59.375 --> 00:04:18.730 And I'm like, man, if only I had these these resources, this staff, this budget. And then I saw Pastor Eric and I was reminded that mo money mean mo problems. Right? Listen, here's the deal. Our lives are infected by comparison. 00:04:18.730 --> 00:04:35.245 We can't get rid of it. We're constantly looking around and thinking, man, why does their life seem so much easier? Why are they getting opportunities that I'm not getting? Why does it seem like God is blessing them so much more than me? When is it going to be my turn? 00:04:35.565 --> 00:04:46.320 Now, how many of you know the story of the prodigal son? All right. If you've grown up in church, you've heard that one. It's this amazing story of a younger brother who takes his inheritance. He runs away. 00:04:46.320 --> 00:04:58.715 He leaves home. He wastes everything. He ruins his life. But eventually he comes back. And often lost in this story is an older brother. 00:04:59.195 --> 00:05:20.720 An older brother who we are far more like than we care to admit. See, the older brother, he's the responsible one. He's the rule follower. Stayed home, did his job, obeyed dad's instructions, respected and honored the family. But I want you to see what happens when little bro comes home. 00:05:21.475 --> 00:05:30.275 The story is in Luke 15. If you've got your Bibles, you can turn there. It's going to be up on the screen. Send your notes on the app. And we're starting in verse 28. 00:05:30.755 --> 00:06:08.340 It says, Now context, younger brother had come home and dad threw a party and everyone is celebrating that he's back. It says, So his father went out because he wouldn't come in and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, Look, all these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours won't even call him his brother, who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you killed the fattened calf for him. 00:06:08.900 --> 00:06:32.060 My son, the father says, you are always with me and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad because this brother of yours was dead and is alive. He was lost and is found. Everyone is celebrating, but the older brother loses it. Why? 00:06:32.060 --> 00:06:57.145 Because he starts comparing. He looks at the grace and the mercy his brother has been shown. And suddenly he can't appreciate all the blessings he already has in his life. You see, comparison keeps us from appreciating what we have because it consumes us with what someone else has. I want to ask you a question. 00:06:57.465 --> 00:07:36.880 What if the biggest thing keeping you from enjoying the life God has given you is your obsession with what He's given someone else? I'm going to say it again because that hits and it hits hard. What if the biggest thing keeping you from enjoying, from showing gratitude, from appreciating what God has done for you, the life he has given you, is your obsession, your comparison with what he's given someone else? You see, comparison confuses us. Satan likes to come in and get us to believe these lies about what others have and what it looks like. 00:07:37.120 --> 00:07:53.345 The first lie he comes in and he gets us to believe that their life is better. Man, the little brother had been living with pigs. Scripture tells us he thought to himself, If I could only eat what the pigs eat, he smelled. He had lost everything. He had nothing. 00:07:54.065 --> 00:08:10.430 But he comes back and all of a sudden the older brother looks to him and says, Oh my gosh, his life is so much better than mine. Then I had this happen just the other day. Pulled into the gym to work out. In case you're wondering, yes, it is required that all pastors work out. It's a thing. 00:08:11.865 --> 00:08:31.640 But I pull into the gym and I pull in right next to this brand new Ford Raptor. Now, if you don't know what a Ford Raptor is, that is like the truck of trucks. I mean, this thing was just amazing. High performance engine. It had that cool gray color paint job. 00:08:31.720 --> 00:08:44.415 The truck guys know what I'm talking about. Like I looked inside, you know, like the cushy leather seats. Man, these big truckin' tires. I said truckin'. I saw the side eye there. 00:08:44.655 --> 00:08:55.630 Okay? Truckin' truckin' tires. Okay? And and I look at the dude sitting in the Ford Raptor and he matches. Dude is just jacked. 00:08:56.190 --> 00:09:21.610 Right? And I'm like, man. And there I am in my 2014 Chevy Silverado with a 150,000 miles and the bumps and bruises to prove it, looking through my cracked windshield. And I'm like, his life is so much better. But what happens next showed me why comparison is so deadly. 00:09:22.090 --> 00:09:37.755 We get out about the same time and I look over and I do the guy thing, give him the nod. Nice truck, bruh. He's like, you want to buy it? In my mind, I'm thinking, If you knew what I'd do, you wouldn't even be asking that. There's no way. 00:09:37.755 --> 00:09:47.915 There's no way. And I'm like, What do you mean? He goes, I got to get rid of it. My wife just filed for divorce. He goes, And I probably deserve it. 00:09:48.420 --> 00:09:56.100 He goes, We're bankrupt. The business is going to have to shut down. We're in debt up to our eyeballs. I'm never home. I'm always working. 00:09:56.100 --> 00:10:21.370 My kids don't even know me. I thought because he had a better truck, he had a better life. And another one of the lies that Satan gets us to believe, he uses to confuse us, is this idea, I deserve what they have. The brother says, Man, I have worked hard. I have done everything I was supposed to do. 00:10:21.370 --> 00:10:40.585 I have followed the rules. I deserve what he's getting. He missed everything he already had. Everything his brother was getting was already giving to him, was already his. Man, sometimes we look around, we look at people who have more than us or who we want to be like, and we're like, they're not even that good a person. 00:10:41.160 --> 00:10:45.160 Man, they're dishonest. They're greedy. They didn't earn none of that. They're a nepo baby. Come on. 00:10:46.760 --> 00:11:18.040 But here's what I've learned. We want the success, but we don't want the struggle. Again, we don't see what's behind it. We have no idea that that successful businessman is actually a dad who would trade every single branch and every single business for a relationship with his son. We forget that the son who inherited everything and has everything is still a kid who would trade everything he has for dad who actually knows him and loves him. 00:11:19.000 --> 00:11:50.210 The other lie the enemy tries to use is that I only want a little more. If I could just have a little bit more, a little nicer car, a little bigger house, just a little bit of a promotion, a little bit of a pay bump, that would make me happy. Like, love the brother compares it. He goes, You gave him the fattened calf and I can't even get a young goat. He's like, Dad, you're making filet mignon for the prodigal child and I can't even get a decent burger. 00:11:50.290 --> 00:12:04.645 What is going on? He's like, If I just had a little something. I was writing this sermon, I thought, Oh, guilty again. Guilty again. Because before I had that 2014 Silverado, I had a 'two Honda Accord. 00:12:04.805 --> 00:12:18.690 Some of you heard about my Honda Accord back in the day, right? 200,000 miles and no AC. And I used to think, if I could just have a truck, that'd be so cool. I'm kind of a country boy at heart. I could just have a truck. 00:12:19.170 --> 00:12:34.055 And then God provided and I got my truck. But now I look at my truck and my Silverado and I'm like, man, if only I could have a Raptor. And if I got the Raptor, there would be something else. It just keeps going on. You're never satisfied. 00:12:34.615 --> 00:12:51.985 It's kind of like Chinese food. You can eat and it's great and you feel full for a moment, but then you walk to the car and you're hungry again. That little bit more, it's never going to satisfy you. It's never going to fill you up. Not only does comparison confuse us, but comparison kills. 00:12:52.545 --> 00:13:16.620 Comparison kills our gratitude. You'll never be able to appreciate and experience thankfulness for what you've been given if you're constantly comparing yourself to everyone else. It's impossible because you're always going to want what they have and you're never going to appreciate what you have. Not only does it kill our gratitude, it kills our joy. Did you realize that comparison creates anxiety? 00:13:17.575 --> 00:13:29.095 When you begin to compare yourself, you find that you're in this constant state of worry. How am I going to get that? How am I going to do that? How am I going to be like that? How am I going to look like that? 00:13:30.370 --> 00:13:46.185 And that worry begins to turn into fear. Fear that people are judging you, fear that people don't think you're enough. Or the reverse, you begin judging other people. And that worry now turns into anger. It also kills our relationships. 00:13:46.985 --> 00:14:03.670 Man, you want to destroy a relationship quick? Bring in comparison. Parents, you want to wreck your kids? Look at them and say something along the lines of why can't you be more like? Why can't you be more like Johnny? 00:14:03.670 --> 00:14:18.955 Why can't you be more like your sibling? It will destroy them. Spouses, it's even more dangerous with inside marriage. Oh, why can't you be more like so and so? Why can't you do this? 00:14:18.955 --> 00:14:35.260 So and so did this. That comparison will absolutely wreck your relationships. I've experienced this in my own life. You know, story is about brothers and I have two brothers. And comparison for a long time, man, it brought a lot of hurt and pain. 00:14:35.660 --> 00:14:53.305 And I struggle. Like I got one brother who's a missionary and another who's a millionaire. You don't think I play the comparison game every once in a while? I'm like, Oh, this brother over here has left his home and is serving Jesus, sharing the gospel on the other side of the world. I'm in Southern California at a church called Sandals. 00:14:54.890 --> 00:15:10.995 Now, look at my other brother and I'm like, Oh, millionaire over here. That's nice. And don't get me wrong, he's incredibly generous and he has earned almost every dollar he has. Love you, bro. But I'm like, I'm never going to have that. 00:15:10.995 --> 00:15:32.640 I look at his house and his car and that's never going to be me. The vacations he goes on. There's this comparison and I'll be honest, it killed our relationship for a long time. To the point, I went seven years without seeing one of my brothers. And the only reason I saw him actually face to face and in person because it was I went on a mission trip with Sandals and they unknowingly sent me to the country where he was at. 00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:54.350 God's got a sense of humor like that. And I know that's all heavy. So I want to give you some good news. There's a cure for comparison. And if we're willing to do the hard work in our lives, it'll bring healing not only to us personally, but to our families, our communities, and eventually our culture. 00:15:54.990 --> 00:16:19.695 So here's the cure for comparison. It's found in John chapter 21 in a conversation between Peter and Jesus. Jesus was crucified, He's buried, He's been risen again, and now He's spending time talking with His disciples. And as He does, He's having a conversation with Peter and He's challenging Peter and He's laying out what he believes Peter needs to do. And towards the end of this conversation, we pick it up in verse 20. 00:16:19.990 --> 00:16:37.735 It says, Now, ironically enough, it's the disciple who wrote the book of John. It's John himself. And Peter asked Jesus, What about Him, Lord? That's comparison. Even even the disciples struggled with comparison. 00:16:37.735 --> 00:16:51.440 What about Him, Lord? Jesus replied, If I want Him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? Peter, none of your business. Don't worry about him. And then he gives us the cure. 00:16:52.000 --> 00:17:16.520 As for you, and I want you to underline this, these last two words, I want you to highlight it. I want you to never forget it. As for you, follow me. Follow me. Man, if you want to cure the comparison in your life, if you want to be healed from this spiritual dementia that confuses, that kills, you have to learn to follow Jesus. 00:17:17.480 --> 00:17:43.090 That word right there, follow in the Greek is a powerful word. It's literally I've been working on that all week, guys. Akalutheo. And it literally means to cling steadfastly to one, conform wholly to His example in living and if need be in dying also. There's a lot there, so I want to break it down. 00:17:43.570 --> 00:18:05.005 To cling steadfastly to one. You see, you can't hold on to God if you're trying to grab what someone else has. To conform wholly to His example. You can't be like Jesus when you're trying to look like the world. And in living, if need be, in dying also. 00:18:05.645 --> 00:18:33.925 You can't live for Christ if you're killing yourself, trying to get everything you see on your feet. It just won't happen. Now the idea of following Christ, I get it, it can feel overwhelming. So I want to give you three practical ways, three steps to curing comparison and following Jesus. The first is this, trust God with what you can't control. 00:18:35.285 --> 00:18:55.045 Listen, you can't control the stock market, interest rates, oil prices, Bitcoin, the elections, or the fact that skinny jeans are making a comeback. Out of your control. You can't control what happened in the past. You can't control what's going to happen in the future. You can't control what they did. 00:18:55.125 --> 00:19:12.690 You can't control what they might do. You can't control what they're supposed to do. And here's the deal, you were never designed to. Galatians six:four says, Pay careful attention to what everyone else does. Nope, that's not what it says. 00:19:12.690 --> 00:19:40.240 Pay careful attention to your own work. Then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done. You'll experience gratitude and appreciation and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else. If you don't hear anything else, I think this is what we need to know more than anything else in our society today. They are not your responsibility. 00:19:41.375 --> 00:19:53.055 Let me say it again. They are not your responsibility. Look at the person next to you and just go, Not yours. Not yours. Not your responsibility. 00:19:54.335 --> 00:20:22.955 Listen, you know what you can control, though? How you respond in this moment. You see, we're so consumed with comparing our situations, with comparing our circumstances and what we have that we miss the beauty and the most powerful gift God gives us. The gift of right now. Listen, don't waste this moment with comparison. 00:20:24.260 --> 00:21:08.955 Teens, young adults, don't waste this moment, this right now worrying about what all your friends are doing, where they're going with their life, what college they're attending. Parents, don't waste right now this moment you have with your kids worrying about what everyone else's kids are doing. Man, spouses, don't miss this moment right now, worried about where everyone else is vacationing, how big their house is, what car they drive, what clothes they're wearing. God gives us this moment and we can't control anything else. But we can trust God, even when life doesn't look like the way we hoped it would. 00:21:09.035 --> 00:21:24.720 Right? So often that happens. But scripture tells us God's plans are not our plans. Thank goodness. He has good plans for us, Plans for a hope, plans for a future, plans that are more than we could ever ask for or imagine. 00:21:25.520 --> 00:21:42.415 Come on. Someone online just said, Preach Pastor. Heard you. That's why Solomon, the wisest man ever to live, says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not depend on your own understanding. 00:21:42.895 --> 00:22:00.650 Listen, it doesn't make sense. It's not fair. He says, Seek His will, God's will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. So here's the second step. You have to pursue God's kingdom above your own. 00:22:01.975 --> 00:22:17.350 The way I had it in my original notes was you have to want God more than stuff. But that didn't sound very smart. So I tried to make you sound like more intelligent and biblical, pursue God's kingdom. But man, maybe you just need to hear, you need to want God more than stuff. Married couples, raise your hands. 00:22:17.350 --> 00:22:31.395 Where's all the married couples in here? All right. You're going to resonate with this and, you know, the rest of you pay attention in case you're married one day. One of the great joys in married life is choosing where to eat. All right. 00:22:31.635 --> 00:22:44.195 Choosing where to eat. Now, my wife and I have been having regular date nights. And so a couple of weeks ago, we were deciding where to go and it's like, where do you want to go? Now, where do you want to go? Now, I'll be honest. 00:22:44.750 --> 00:22:58.670 That particular evening, I had a preference. There was somewhere I really wanted to go. I wanted to go get pizza. Right? Someone told me just the other day that I have the palate of like a 12 year old. 00:22:59.710 --> 00:23:13.205 It's true. It's true. Because I just I didn't want like fancy, like brick oven, like Neapolitan style pizza. I wanted Pizza Hut, stuffed crust, pepperoni lovers. All right? 00:23:14.950 --> 00:24:00.160 But that's not what my wife was about. And I knew that. I knew that. And because I have been married now for twenty three years, thankfully through the power of the Holy Spirit and learned wisdom, I remember that my wife's happiness and the trajectory of the evening are more important than my culinary preferences because there is something I want that night a lot more than pizza. And I was willing to sacrifice what I wanted now in the beginning of the evening for something much better at the end of the evening. 00:24:03.255 --> 00:24:24.710 You're laughing, but the reality is that's what God says. He goes, I get it. There's some things you want right now, some things you see, but I've got something so much better for you. Matthew six thirty three says, Seek the kingdom of God above all else and live righteously. And He will give you He will give you everything. 00:24:25.910 --> 00:24:45.560 Everything. Stop chasing what someone else has and start pursuing what God has for you. Listen, what's more important? Investing in God's kingdom or investing in your financial portfolio? Building disciples of Christ or building a following on social media? 00:24:46.280 --> 00:25:17.370 Helping your kids grow in their faith or helping them grow in their athletic and academic ability? Listen, you will never break the chains of comparison until you take your eyes off the things of this world and begin to focus on what truly matters. Comparison has a deep root in a need for self worth. In other words, if I can find someone who in my measurement is less than me, it proves my worth. It proves my value. 00:25:17.450 --> 00:25:36.315 Right? Because I'm better than them, so I'm good enough. But the problem is just as soon as you find that person, you scroll a little further and you find someone whose life actually looks way better than yours. And you're right back to where you started. Confused with no gratitude, no joy and your relationships falling apart. 00:25:37.530 --> 00:26:09.780 Which is why it's so important to stop finding your identity in others and find your identity in Christ. The father doesn't tell the older brother to work harder, doesn't tell him to get over it. He doesn't say, Oh, you should just accomplish more, earn your place. No, he reminds him of who he is. Notice verse 31. 00:26:10.100 --> 00:26:33.725 My son, my son, the father said, you are always with me. Everything I have is yours. I heard a pastor ask this question just last week. He asked his congregation, What does God see in you? What does God see in you? 00:26:33.725 --> 00:26:57.605 You see, far too often, we worry about what people see on us. We worry about our clothes, our perception, our job title, the car we drive, the house we have, the way people perceive us. He says, God cares about what's in you. What's in you is what matters. The clothes, the cars, the paychecks, the promotion, none of that. 00:26:57.845 --> 00:27:23.475 None of that is your identity. Listen, Romans eight, Paul says, So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. That's what comparison does. It makes you an anxiety filled slave to everyone else and everything else that's going on around you. Man, God says, That's not you. 00:27:24.595 --> 00:27:44.810 He says, Instead, you received God's Spirit. When He, and I love this, when He adopted you as His own children. He adopted. That means He chose you. You were not His child, but He looked at you, He saw you and He wanted you to be a part of His family. 00:27:44.810 --> 00:28:12.270 That is your identity. Listen, if you've ever heard me preach, you know what's coming next. You know I wasn't going to get through a sermon without Ephesians two ten. For we are God's, if you know it, say it, masterpiece. You are God's Mona Lisa, His Sistine Chapel, His Starry Night, unique and priceless, one of a kind. 00:28:13.150 --> 00:28:37.720 Man, when you know who you are in Christ, you don't have to compare yourself to anyone. Wow. Listen, the cure for comparison. It's not getting someone else has, being who someone else is. It's recognizing who you already are. 00:28:38.920 --> 00:29:02.070 It's recognizing what God has already done. How He sees you, who you are in Him. And in case you've not heard, maybe you've forgotten how much God loves you. The most amazing gift He ever gave you. I want to give you one more verse. 00:29:02.390 --> 00:29:17.805 Romans five:eight. But God showed His great love, abundant, overwhelming love for us. For you. For you. For you. 00:29:18.285 --> 00:29:50.685 His masterpiece, His children. He showed his love by doing this, sending Christ, his one and only son to die, to die for us. While we were still sinners, Before we got it together, before we figured it out, before we achieved anything. God says, love you. I love you my child just as you are and I want to have a relationship with you and I want to give you more than you could ever ask for or imagine. 00:29:52.350 --> 00:30:12.595 So if you're here today, you're struggling with comparison. And I just wanna, I wanna invite you to take all of that until to lay it at God's feet. Say, God, I don't need any more of that. I'm tired of being a slave to comparison. God, I wanna see myself as you see me. 00:30:12.835 --> 00:30:32.640 I wanna receive what you have given me. God, believe that you died for me and I wanna experience new life. Let's pray. Father, thank You. Thank You that You love us so much that You were willing to send Your Son to die for us while we were still sinners. 00:30:33.345 --> 00:31:14.455 And God, I pray in this moment that the chains of comparison that have enslaved us would fall off, that they would be broken, God, that we would no longer be confused by the lies of the enemy, that you would bring life back to our lives of gratitude, that you would bring joy back, God, that you would restore relationships, God, that we would see ourselves in the world around us, not through a lens of comparison, but through a lens of compassion, of love, of a heavenly Father who knows us better than we know ourselves. God, we just, we thank you so much and we praise you in Jesus name. Amen.