(00:00:06):
Take three, okay.

(00:00:10):
hello welcome to silver banter my name is rachel i'm calling and today we have a

(00:00:16):
very special guest in studio who just arrived and saw us just plug in this

(00:00:21):
equipment and press play yeah is that yeah this isn't take three or seven and it

(00:00:27):
hasn't been an hour and a half later uh studying equipment and testing out mics and

(00:00:31):
having the wrong cord and you know what this reminded me of what it's flowing uh

(00:00:37):
Phil was at our apartment,

(00:00:38):
and we were trying to mount the TV,

(00:00:41):
but we were drunk and arguing the whole time.

(00:00:43):
We were sober, putting together a podcast with a friend here, but we didn't argue.

(00:00:51):
There were some comments about wires.

(00:00:52):
Okay, I apologize.

(00:00:54):
I did make the wire comment.

(00:00:56):
The wire comment's very accurate.

(00:00:57):
I will own my part in that.

(00:01:00):
Priya did the same thing that Phil did.

(00:01:02):
She just sat there, stayed quiet, just kind of fiddled with her phone.

(00:01:05):
Contemplated if she should be recording us doing all this.

(00:01:09):
They would just be like, oh, this port one's pretty good.

(00:01:12):
And just kind of look around the house and be like, oh, that picture looks cool.

(00:01:17):
I have three beverages to try.

(00:01:20):
So I was like...

(00:01:21):
Does Priya's drink setup have something that says,

(00:01:24):
tell me I'm a recovering addict without telling me I'm a recovering addict?

(00:01:28):
Only a Diet Coke and a coffee.

(00:01:30):
How many drinks do I have on my stand at night?

(00:01:33):
You have a lot.

(00:01:34):
A tea, water...

(00:01:36):
Sometimes a soda and sometimes coffee.

(00:01:41):
Just because I'm, you know, I'm a sober alcoholic, I still like to drink a lot.

(00:01:46):
It just doesn't include alcohol anymore or drugs.

(00:01:49):
Exactly.

(00:01:49):
So, you know, that's the secret.

(00:01:52):
It's a good trade-off.

(00:01:54):
Yeah.

(00:01:55):
So how do we do this?

(00:01:57):
I know Priya from a friend of a friend of mine.

(00:02:02):
Another friend.

(00:02:03):
I don't know how to keep it simple.

(00:02:05):
So what should we start with?

(00:02:07):
You got a list of questions.

(00:02:09):
I do.

(00:02:10):
What's your biggest pet peeve?

(00:02:12):
Priya.

(00:02:13):
Oh, I have a lot of pet peeves.

(00:02:16):
It's still single.

(00:02:18):
Oh, yeah.

(00:02:19):
Sober dating apps.

(00:02:21):
There's got to be a sober dating app out there.

(00:02:23):
I still am very triggered that.

(00:02:26):
My junk mail from my algorithm, it told me, it's like, meet seniors.com.

(00:02:31):
And I was like, I gotta kill.

(00:02:32):
Because I'm like, you have arthritis stuff.

(00:02:35):
And I was like, first off, I'm not single.

(00:02:39):
But second, seniors.

(00:02:42):
There's still time.

(00:02:43):
You're taking cancer medication, so...

(00:02:46):
Oh my.

(00:02:48):
What are at least some of them?

(00:02:49):
Which ones come to mind?

(00:02:51):
I think mine is probably eating too loud.

(00:02:54):
Oh, you know, that's actually a disorder.

(00:02:56):
Like I have, yo, I have it too.

(00:02:58):
Cause ask Colin.

(00:03:00):
I eat loud, apparently.

(00:03:01):
Really?

(00:03:03):
He's like, in slow motion.

(00:03:05):
And he's like, trying not to like make noise.

(00:03:08):
And then he's like, wow.

(00:03:10):
It's the chewing that gets me.

(00:03:12):
I'll come in the kitchen and eat sometimes.

(00:03:14):
Just, uh.

(00:03:15):
And that's fine.

(00:03:16):
But you're doing it during a movie or TV show or in my car.

(00:03:22):
I'm on par with that.

(00:03:23):
Yeah.

(00:03:23):
Thank you.

(00:03:24):
And then another pet peeve, I think it's like.

(00:03:27):
When friends are texting in front of you and you're just trying to hang out with

(00:03:30):
them and they're just,

(00:03:31):
like,

(00:03:31):
on their bum the whole time.

(00:03:33):
That really cranked me.

(00:03:36):
Yeah.

(00:03:37):
I just, you know, like, why?

(00:03:39):
Is it that important?

(00:03:41):
Can't I just be enough?

(00:03:43):
Be in the moment.

(00:03:44):
Yeah.

(00:03:44):
Do you watch Shrinking?

(00:03:46):
Have you on a wall?

(00:03:47):
Oh, great.

(00:03:47):
Yeah.

(00:03:48):
I really enjoy it.

(00:03:50):
It's pretty...

(00:03:51):
I think it's one of the smartest shows.

(00:03:52):
For all their parties,

(00:03:53):
they bring this open box,

(00:03:56):
a wood box where you all put your phone,

(00:03:57):
so that way you're not on your phone.

(00:04:00):
Good idea.

(00:04:00):
I liked that when I saw that.

(00:04:02):
Have you been to a concert or a show where they take your phone?

(00:04:04):
Are they put it in that Ziploc bag to where it doesn't open until?

(00:04:08):
Because comedy shows do that and concerts do that now.

(00:04:11):
Really?

(00:04:11):
Yeah.

(00:04:12):
Dave Chappelle will.

(00:04:13):
He'll make you surrender your phone so that way you're not recording.

(00:04:15):
Yeah, it's only a pouch that has a time lock and then you give the pouch back after the show.

(00:04:21):
I haven't seen that in a long time.

(00:04:23):
But yeah, I totally agree.

(00:04:24):
I think the only other excuse is with kids.

(00:04:30):
Now that Evan's older, I'm not as big about it.

(00:04:33):
Or maybe I'm just further in my recovery that I'm working on my anxiety.

(00:04:37):
Or the fact that whoever has them can probably take care of them.

(00:04:40):
Right.

(00:04:41):
And I think in the beginning I was so,

(00:04:43):
because of the way we drink when we had him when he was young,

(00:04:46):
I had to control so many different things with him to like make our lives work

(00:04:52):
around drinking,

(00:04:56):
etc.

(00:04:56):
And I've now got like, yeah, he's safe.

(00:05:00):
He's okay.

(00:05:00):
And he can also like tell us if something happens now.

(00:05:03):
Yeah.

(00:05:04):
Where before you couldn't communicate and I like had the biggest fear of something bad.

(00:05:07):
Or did you present like your parenting onto somebody else that's taking care of them?

(00:05:11):
I'm like, what if?

(00:05:13):
Okay.

(00:05:14):
No, we just judge them behind their back.

(00:05:16):
No, no.

(00:05:17):
I'm more worried that Evan will do something bad to the other people.

(00:05:21):
But I'm like, right now he's like, goodnight.

(00:05:25):
And he's like, pulls his little Sonic Nerf gun.

(00:05:27):
He's like, I got my gun.

(00:05:28):
It's just like, oh, God.

(00:05:31):
I do have a surprise for you, if you would like to see your surprise.

(00:05:36):
Oh.

(00:05:37):
I wasn't prepared.

(00:05:38):
See, you said that, and I was already in panic.

(00:05:40):
I'm like, I can't even process.

(00:05:43):
Well, it's nothing crazy.

(00:05:44):
Don't worry.

(00:05:45):
If it's crazy, give it to Colin.

(00:05:49):
Colin will like it, but can I get it?

(00:05:53):
This is like a really nice book though.

(00:05:55):
I was like, well, yeah.

(00:05:57):
We owe her more star.

(00:05:58):
You do not owe me any star.

(00:06:01):
I've told him it's like a perfect coffee table and then you can just look at it

(00:06:05):
whenever you want.

(00:06:06):
Yeah.

(00:06:07):
And now you have it.

(00:06:09):
At your house?

(00:06:09):
I have two.

(00:06:10):
But we were like, um, I don't need two.

(00:06:13):
I love it.

(00:06:13):
Yeah.

(00:06:14):
I was surprised I didn't get it for Christmas.

(00:06:15):
Like I thought my mom was going to give probably my sisters and I won, but.

(00:06:18):
Did your sister big?

(00:06:20):
Yeah.

(00:06:21):
Okay.

(00:06:22):
Well,

(00:06:23):
You might not know you had a sister.

(00:06:26):
Technically, one biological one step.

(00:06:29):
But I call them both my sisters.

(00:06:30):
I remember now.

(00:06:31):
Courtney is Ken's daughter.

(00:06:32):
Yes, yes, yes.

(00:06:33):
So, yeah.

(00:06:33):
And you know my stepdad because you're like, oh, I've used him.

(00:06:37):
Task rabbit.

(00:06:37):
Task rabbit to help fix.

(00:06:39):
And he didn't seem to have an allergy problem at your apartment.

(00:06:42):
But he's told me my whole life that he's allergic to cats.

(00:06:44):
That's why we couldn't.

(00:06:45):
You know, the cat had to stay in my room.

(00:06:48):
And he's like, I have really bad allergies.

(00:06:50):
I was like, the fuck you do?

(00:06:51):
You just don't like cats.

(00:06:54):
I wish I had that playbook.

(00:06:55):
Evan asked the other day, he's like, he comes in our room.

(00:06:59):
It's first thing in the morning.

(00:07:00):
Like,

(00:07:00):
I mean,

(00:07:01):
he runs in and he goes,

(00:07:03):
mom,

(00:07:03):
dad,

(00:07:05):
why do all of my grandparents have dogs and we have cats?

(00:07:10):
And I was like, I don't know, because we're cool.

(00:07:14):
Because cats are better.

(00:07:15):
But I was like, okay, cool.

(00:07:17):
Dogs cool.

(00:07:19):
Someone was very adamant that a one-year-old should get a puppy.

(00:07:22):
I thought the puppy would encourage me to go walking, which would make me drink less.

(00:07:27):
And then I was going to want to be like healthy.

(00:07:29):
Yeah, I was thinking of that family picture of like us with the dog and we're on the rock.

(00:07:34):
We're walking.

(00:07:35):
We're doing the strolls.

(00:07:36):
We're in the house.

(00:07:37):
We're in Duck Creek.

(00:07:38):
We're like, oh, that little family.

(00:07:40):
That's like so cute.

(00:07:41):
So I think the worst and best advice my mom ever gave me was you can be married or

(00:07:46):
you can be right.

(00:07:47):
And I knew at the time getting a puppy was the wrong idea.

(00:07:50):
And I chose to be married instead of right.

(00:07:54):
And now who has that dog?

(00:07:56):
Not us.

(00:07:59):
Cats are just so much easier.

(00:08:01):
They are.

(00:08:03):
Just one.

(00:08:04):
Yeah.

(00:08:07):
You tried to get a second one once, right?

(00:08:10):
Yeah, it was really bad.

(00:08:11):
It was a bad...

(00:08:15):
I think I had the kitten for like a week, but Springs, Sprinkles is her name.

(00:08:20):
And, uh, I just, it didn't go well.

(00:08:23):
She hated it.

(00:08:24):
I hated it.

(00:08:24):
I didn't get any sleep.

(00:08:26):
Um,

(00:08:27):
a lot of hissing like between doors and it was just like,

(00:08:31):
yeah,

(00:08:31):
this or any land or entity,

(00:08:33):
like this isn't that fun.

(00:08:34):
Um, so hopefully when Springs gets older and like

(00:08:39):
is less intelligent or something.

(00:08:41):
As long as they don't notice when they get older, I'll just throw in another.

(00:08:44):
Does Kit Kat get along with other animals?

(00:08:48):
We haven't really tested it.

(00:08:50):
I mean, Kit Kat has a love affair with the cat next door through the window.

(00:08:53):
They're all funny.

(00:08:54):
Yeah, gosh.

(00:08:55):
That's cute.

(00:08:56):
Yeah, they love each other.

(00:08:56):
Cats brave until you open a door.

(00:08:59):
Oh, it snows here regularly?

(00:09:02):
No.

(00:09:03):
Oh, you mean here in Texas?

(00:09:04):
I was like, our house specifically?

(00:09:06):
I don't think snowed.

(00:09:11):
In Richardson, it's always hit or miss.

(00:09:13):
I don't know.

(00:09:15):
It's either ice.

(00:09:16):
This was the nicest amount of actual snow we've gotten in a long time, I think.

(00:09:22):
That's not normal.

(00:09:23):
That's the unusual.

(00:09:25):
Right?

(00:09:26):
What would you say?

(00:09:28):
Yeah, I feel like it snows a lot more since I moved back to Texas.

(00:09:31):
When I was growing up, I mean, it hardly ever did anything.

(00:09:36):
Because I graduated in 2007 and moved away around 2009.

(00:09:42):
And I only had one snow day in my entire elementary, junior high, high school.

(00:09:52):
And Evan's five and it's already had like four days.

(00:09:55):
Yeah.

(00:09:55):
We already cannot agree on a weather app.

(00:09:58):
We've argued over it almost every day now.

(00:10:00):
And I use Apple weather.

(00:10:02):
It's on my phone.

(00:10:04):
I feel like it's usually right.

(00:10:05):
And you are like, no.

(00:10:08):
And we argue over which day it's going to rain, when it's going to rain.

(00:10:12):
We'll get to the weather probably.

(00:10:16):
No, because they're very different.

(00:10:17):
They're very different.

(00:10:19):
Yeah.

(00:10:20):
What do you use?

(00:10:21):
I use Apple weather.

(00:10:22):
Oh, the default on the phone?

(00:10:24):
He's judging.

(00:10:25):
I judge it.

(00:10:26):
It's okay.

(00:10:27):
Literally.

(00:10:27):
It's default apps.

(00:10:30):
Do you use Microsoft Word or text edit?

(00:10:32):
Oh, my God.

(00:10:35):
I use notes in my Apple phone, which goes across all my computers.

(00:10:39):
You know what's great about it is you're like, oh, I want to go from my phone to my laptop.

(00:10:44):
And you click notes in the note you just put in your phone.

(00:10:46):
What do you use there?

(00:10:47):
Edit.

(00:10:47):
You use the free edit software that Matt gives you.

(00:10:51):
I sometimes use Pages or I use Microsoft too, though.

(00:10:55):
Well, Adobe Premiere Pro or what does Apple have?

(00:10:59):
Yeah.

(00:11:00):
That's not a free app.

(00:11:01):
What about the free app?

(00:11:02):
Free through school for me.

(00:11:04):
But school's not free.

(00:11:06):
I just looked that I have $29,000 in debt.

(00:11:10):
So this is a quick promo.

(00:11:12):
You want to Venmo the show.

(00:11:15):
Because as Priya can attest, this is no plug and play.

(00:11:19):
And I'm broke.

(00:11:21):
Or if you just get a Taylor Swift memorabilia.

(00:11:24):
I can't imagine that's anyone who doesn't want their Taylor Swift stuff,

(00:11:27):
because if you have it,

(00:11:28):
you should keep it.

(00:11:29):
And I would never sell my signed poster, ever.

(00:11:33):
Okay, well, maybe.

(00:11:34):
For $1 million, I might, but that's about the cost.

(00:11:37):
$1 million.

(00:11:39):
Which actually with inflation, let's make that five.

(00:11:42):
Yeah.

(00:11:43):
Let's maybe say a couple more.

(00:11:46):
That's definitely get you that far.

(00:11:47):
Isn't that sad that a million like really?

(00:11:49):
Yeah.

(00:11:50):
Just.

(00:11:51):
So you're saying he turned out a million.

(00:11:55):
No.

(00:11:57):
except a now i used to in the very beginning you know it was easy to rationalize

(00:12:04):
like how much i was spending on alcohol because you ask for like so it's like the

(00:12:09):
suggested amounts two dollars but i mean i was spending way more than that a day

(00:12:13):
drinking so i mean i would give even five and you know as you get

(00:12:22):
longer in your recovery program you know you're not thinking about and somehow if

(00:12:26):
this is if you found the money back that you used to spend on drinking that's

(00:12:30):
awesome but i have not like i don't know where that went i don't know how i made it

(00:12:34):
happen i feel like i was just always very resourceful and but i'm like oh you've

(00:12:41):
saved like you know thirty thousand dollars and not drinking this year and i'm like

(00:12:45):
so where is it

(00:12:46):
Yeah.

(00:12:47):
I even said during the snow day that he got a call,

(00:12:51):
like he'd been working from home and it's on,

(00:12:54):
you know,

(00:12:54):
it's like Evan's home.

(00:12:55):
There's obviously things going on.

(00:12:57):
He gets a call like right at four 30 and he's having to like go talk with it.

(00:13:01):
And I'm just sitting here so thankful we're sober.

(00:13:04):
Cause I was playing it out.

(00:13:05):
I'm like,

(00:13:07):
if this would have been a snow day before we're sober drunk i mean day drinking

(00:13:11):
it's a it's a just a ticket to be like hey we don't have to drive we don't have to

(00:13:15):
get behind the wheel like it's a like you'd have to make sure you were stocked up

(00:13:21):
though oh we would have that that again those things like were on the list like

(00:13:26):
those were always taken care of before anything else yeah covid was a lot of day

(00:13:30):
drinking the

(00:13:30):
problem was we would go through it before the snowstorm and then we're like now we

(00:13:35):
had to restock the restock and it comes the cycle but yeah I was sitting there and

(00:13:41):
it's like he just took his call did his thing and I just thought man like either he

(00:13:47):
would have tried to answer it and been slurring and slushing and you know or not

(00:13:52):
answered it I don't know but I was just really thankful and it's also not

(00:13:55):
bothersome

(00:13:57):
when we used to get a call when you're working at home and we were drinking it's

(00:14:01):
like like just getting a call from anybody there's a no

(00:14:05):
Like,

(00:14:06):
I don't want to have to think about how am I going to handle this because it's

(00:14:09):
interfering with my drinking.

(00:14:11):
And I don't know if you drink during the day at work or anything when you, yeah.

(00:14:14):
You know, it's like, and COVID just really, because you got sober before COVID, right?

(00:14:20):
It did.

(00:14:20):
Yeah.

(00:14:20):
I got sober in 2017, but I was employed for the last like two or three years of my drinking.

(00:14:27):
So I didn't, I would be on pretend work meetings with my family called.

(00:14:31):
Yeah.

(00:14:32):
Um, and it would, I would, yeah, cause I don't want to answer a talk.

(00:14:35):
I'm in drinks all day.

(00:14:36):
Do you have a different job than you do now?

(00:14:39):
Um, trying to think what I did back then.

(00:14:43):
Uh, so when I got, no, when I got sober, I worked for content moderation, social media.

(00:14:49):
And then, um, before that, um,

(00:14:52):
But did it affect your job?

(00:14:54):
Like, did you have to leave your job because of drinking?

(00:14:56):
I got fired, yeah.

(00:14:58):
I was working for a company called Voodoo as a contract worker.

(00:15:02):
I think I know Voodoo.

(00:15:04):
Yeah, I do.

(00:15:04):
And I did metadata for them, and it was like a dream job.

(00:15:08):
It was great, but I just couldn't stop drinking.

(00:15:10):
You know,

(00:15:12):
I was calling out probably every week,

(00:15:14):
and just somebody died,

(00:15:15):
a cat died,

(00:15:16):
a dog died,

(00:15:17):
grandma died,

(00:15:18):
you know.

(00:15:19):
You said that last week.

(00:15:24):
My parents are divorced and their parents were divorced.

(00:15:28):
Yes, exactly.

(00:15:29):
So it was, yeah, they were just like, you can't.

(00:15:32):
Was it an office job or work from home?

(00:15:35):
Oh, so yeah, you really had to try to cover up.

(00:15:39):
Lots of covering up,

(00:15:40):
flat tires,

(00:15:40):
lots of flat tires,

(00:15:41):
car accidents,

(00:15:42):
all the things just to drink the way I wanted to drink.

(00:15:46):
And so, yeah, I was unemployed for a very long time.

(00:15:50):
I feel like a lot of it,

(00:15:51):
too,

(00:15:52):
is like not like you said,

(00:15:53):
drink how I want to drink,

(00:15:54):
but it's also like the next day of you got to like quick think like,

(00:15:58):
oh,

(00:15:59):
I need to buy myself like an extra hour.

(00:16:01):
Yes.

(00:16:02):
I need to slip it off like.

(00:16:05):
Yeah.

(00:16:05):
Can I just come in an hour later?

(00:16:07):
And, you know, I think nowadays it's so...

(00:16:11):
it's so chill because a lot of people do work from home and my job now is work from

(00:16:15):
home but before then i know i couldn't do that drunk like i've been drinking all

(00:16:20):
day and you know this family cup would be full of vodka oh that's what i am yeah

(00:16:26):
yeah like i i remember it from yeah i was like mine will only ever have water and

(00:16:32):
i'm pretty pretty big on that on it's daily your mommy's juice right yeah mommy's

(00:16:37):
special yeah i

(00:16:39):
spicy i've heard other moms tell their kids like oh that's spicy you mentioned that

(00:16:43):
free is our first like in person oh yeah this is our first in-person recording yeah

(00:16:50):
irl thank you irl yeah she's in texas

(00:16:55):
And she's single, ready to sober mingle.

(00:16:59):
Okay,

(00:16:59):
well,

(00:16:59):
then I guess for you,

(00:17:02):
like we asked Jack,

(00:17:03):
since we have not been sober and single,

(00:17:07):
we almost were.

(00:17:08):
I mean, in my head, I've played it out, you know.

(00:17:11):
Like if he goes on vacation or set up like when we weren't getting along at first

(00:17:16):
and he didn't want to go to AA.

(00:17:17):
And I'm like, she was like, I don't know.

(00:17:20):
I think you were the problem.

(00:17:21):
Divorce is expensive, though.

(00:17:23):
Did you ever Google that?

(00:17:25):
How much on it?

(00:17:27):
I just knew.

(00:17:27):
Well, see, here's the thing.

(00:17:29):
It's actually kind of it'd be rich for me because I have zero right now.

(00:17:32):
So I get half.

(00:17:33):
Man, divorce is just way expensive.

(00:17:35):
How would we even separate?

(00:17:38):
I was like, man, he's going to give me that alimony, right?

(00:17:42):
That's the word?

(00:17:43):
Whatever.

(00:17:43):
Oh, lordy.

(00:17:45):
Okay.

(00:17:46):
I don't know.

(00:17:47):
Okay.

(00:17:48):
No device.

(00:17:49):
No.

(00:17:51):
High school sweethearts.

(00:17:52):
No.

(00:17:53):
No.

(00:17:53):
Oh.

(00:17:54):
We went to the same high school different times.

(00:17:56):
Yeah.

(00:17:57):
I'm six and a half years older.

(00:18:00):
So either I would have had to have been really stupid if you were...

(00:18:04):
that yeah oh we're just gonna push you along you've been a senior way too long i

(00:18:10):
had to graduate in 2012 at school so i mean that's also uh tinder okay yeah back

(00:18:16):
when back when it was not what it is today yes this was not the not a hit and quit

(00:18:21):
it not not it like yeah i think so okay

(00:18:26):
And we also, for Evan's baby names, do you remember we downloaded the baby name Tinder?

(00:18:30):
So we would swipe and do names.

(00:18:32):
When we had a match, it would tell us that we both agreed on the names.

(00:18:36):
So if you are talking or trying to date a guy,

(00:18:41):
if you're not meeting through a sober meetup or event,

(00:18:47):
whatever,

(00:18:50):
is that a first date,

(00:18:51):
second date,

(00:18:52):
third date?

(00:18:52):
Yeah.

(00:18:53):
Do you get from the get-go like you don't drink?

(00:18:55):
I'll be honest with you.

(00:18:56):
I have not dated since I got sober.

(00:19:00):
Really?

(00:19:00):
I've been sober seven years.

(00:19:03):
And boys and dating has just not been on my priority.

(00:19:07):
Yeah.

(00:19:09):
I've enjoyed being alone and having a routine.

(00:19:13):
And I feel like,

(00:19:15):
I don't know,

(00:19:16):
I'm like that different person of like,

(00:19:18):
I know a lot of people do enjoy dating.

(00:19:20):
But I've seen a lot of...

(00:19:23):
relapse and relationships and all those things and I'm just like when I'm ready

(00:19:28):
I'll be ready but like for me it's just never been a big thing or super important

(00:19:33):
but I think to your question right away I would tell them like

(00:19:39):
My sobriety isn't everything.

(00:19:40):
I put that first.

(00:19:41):
And, you know, it's my higher power.

(00:19:44):
It's sobriety.

(00:19:45):
And it's everything else will fall below that.

(00:19:48):
Yes.

(00:19:48):
So you wouldn't date someone who drinks, would you?

(00:19:52):
So if they drink, like, non-alcoholically, like, that they just had one.

(00:19:56):
It would just always baffle me of, like, just have something.

(00:20:00):
Like, have fun.

(00:20:02):
Because I can't.

(00:20:03):
You can.

(00:20:04):
Yeah.

(00:20:04):
I think as it works for somebody that just does it.

(00:20:08):
And it's not a big deal.

(00:20:09):
And it's like, you know, just two people that want to get a Diet Coke and a fancy steak dinner.

(00:20:14):
Like, you know.

(00:20:16):
I don't necessarily know.

(00:20:17):
Not through the program facility, but at least, like, doesn't really partake in drinking.

(00:20:21):
So not even, because there are people who don't have a problem.

(00:20:24):
They just also don't want to, which is crazy.

(00:20:27):
But there's people that truly are like, I don't like the way it makes me feel.

(00:20:30):
Right.

(00:20:31):
Right.

(00:20:31):
And if you're a good person and doesn't like to drink, that's fine.

(00:20:35):
But, like, if you haven't bought with...

(00:20:38):
personal problems issues and things like that sometimes I feel like there's more of

(00:20:44):
those normal type people out there than we realize we've just only been in our

(00:20:50):
group of alcoholics that we only associate with those people in that group like we

(00:20:55):
don't realize how many people outside the group maybe only do just have one or two

(00:21:00):
drinks a week maybe even if that

(00:21:04):
Yeah,

(00:21:04):
I was going to say,

(00:21:05):
most of the people I've been around are...

(00:21:06):
That's because that's the company we keep.

(00:21:11):
Because all we did was hang around the bar.

(00:21:13):
Those people aren't at the bars five, six days a week.

(00:21:17):
But those people, a lot of them have stopped or don't drink as much.

(00:21:21):
Like,

(00:21:22):
you know,

(00:21:22):
I am friends with a lot of normies and from high school and they've all,

(00:21:27):
you know,

(00:21:27):
oh,

(00:21:28):
I've slowed down.

(00:21:28):
And they always,

(00:21:30):
and you can't stop if you want,

(00:21:31):
but they've always felt the need to tell me like,

(00:21:34):
oh,

(00:21:34):
I don't drink as much.

(00:21:35):
Always.

(00:21:36):
And I'm like...

(00:21:38):
That's Colin.

(00:21:39):
Amazing.

(00:21:40):
Yeah.

(00:21:41):
Like, okay.

(00:21:42):
I didn't need to know that.

(00:21:43):
Colin says he'll get cornered by someone and be like,

(00:21:47):
so tell me like,

(00:21:48):
what were the,

(00:21:48):
what were the signals?

(00:21:50):
Yes.

(00:21:51):
That's why he doesn't share what happened to you.

(00:21:53):
Like, so I don't go down that.

(00:21:55):
Yeah.

(00:21:56):
It's just in my head like I just couldn't stop.

(00:22:00):
But yeah,

(00:22:00):
I think it's funny when they do that because I'm just like,

(00:22:03):
I don't need an explanation.

(00:22:05):
Like, I know where my heart is and why I don't drink anymore.

(00:22:08):
And like, I don't really...

(00:22:11):
I don't really care.

(00:22:12):
You wouldn't want me here if I was drinking.

(00:22:14):
Yeah, exactly.

(00:22:15):
That's why I laugh when my doctor will be like,

(00:22:18):
you still like sober or,

(00:22:21):
you know,

(00:22:21):
still not drinking alcohol is like,

(00:22:22):
trust me,

(00:22:23):
doc,

(00:22:23):
you would know.

(00:22:24):
That's the kind of drinker I am.

(00:22:26):
Like, I even say that now.

(00:22:27):
I don't I I do not want just one drink ever.

(00:22:31):
I want a thousand or as many until I pass out.

(00:22:34):
And thankfully today I'm recoil like a hot flame.

(00:22:38):
I have no, I don't even create, like when I see stuff, I don't crave it.

(00:22:42):
I don't see a margarita and be like, Oh, I wish I could have that.

(00:22:44):
I look at it and I think of the thick.

(00:22:47):
Well, I probably mean my margarita is wrong.

(00:22:48):
I mean, not like, there's like a two thirds.

(00:22:54):
And I'm like, don't put too much lime juice in there, okay?

(00:22:57):
Because I want to be able to get the tequila, okay?

(00:23:00):
And go ahead and put the worm in there.

(00:23:01):
Like, let the worm soak up.

(00:23:06):
Yeah, you wanted to taste the alcohol, not the flavor.

(00:23:08):
Yeah, I'm like, is there anything in this?

(00:23:11):
Like, yeah, I'm ridiculous.

(00:23:14):
But that, again, like, it was way easier for me to admit.

(00:23:18):
I would drink mini bottles with me.

(00:23:20):
And, like, I just figured the bar would just not do my drink right.

(00:23:24):
And most of the time they did fine.

(00:23:26):
But I would be like, you know, vodka, splash of club soda, and then a splash of lime.

(00:23:31):
But, like, I'd always take out my mini bottle and just pour more vodka in it.

(00:23:34):
And it's like the insanity.

(00:23:38):
Yeah.

(00:23:39):
It's never enough.

(00:23:40):
I've never heard, but that makes sense.

(00:23:42):
Did you ever have these systems or ways to,

(00:23:46):
like,

(00:23:46):
I'll save money by pre-gaming so I don't spend more at the bar?

(00:23:50):
Yeah.

(00:23:50):
Well, a lot of people bought me drinks.

(00:23:52):
Okay.

(00:23:53):
Sorry, finish your question.

(00:23:54):
I mean, that was pretty much it.

(00:23:55):
Because I would have,

(00:23:56):
like,

(00:23:57):
I remember in college,

(00:23:57):
a friend and I would try all these tactics,

(00:24:00):
like,

(00:24:00):
how can we save money?

(00:24:01):
And then we'd end up waking up and be like, I spent how much?

(00:24:05):
I remember with, like, some of the coworkers, someone asked me,

(00:24:09):
I can't remember if it was Sober October or Dry January, and they were, like, trying it out.

(00:24:13):
And they asked me how, like, I feel like I'll drop subtle hints.

(00:24:17):
They're like, how's it going for you?

(00:24:18):
I was like, I've been doing it all year or something like that.

(00:24:21):
But I'll hear people struggling with it, like, a few days in.

(00:24:25):
They're like, oh, it's so hard and blah, blah, blah.

(00:24:28):
And I'm just like, yeah, it's so hard.

(00:24:31):
Locked, man.

(00:24:32):
Yeah.

(00:24:34):
I just don't.

(00:24:36):
Yeah,

(00:24:37):
I don't I don't even think about I think about it for others now doing the podcast

(00:24:40):
because I just I remember failing at all of them.

(00:24:45):
Colin, do you have a superstition that you follow?

(00:24:49):
superstition yeah like anything for like tennis that like if you were before a game

(00:24:53):
these two like i would uh i would always wear this like orange reebok hat um just

(00:25:00):
kind of as a look to but it was just like a fashion choice i don't know about like

(00:25:07):
you had a winning streak in that hat or something it was just like it's something

(00:25:12):
that i did that would make me stand out from other people

(00:25:16):
Well, that is weird.

(00:25:17):
He's the orange Reebok hat.

(00:25:20):
I know what it is.

(00:25:21):
Well, that one's thrown away.

(00:25:23):
I have another orange hat.

(00:25:28):
You said you know what it is.

(00:25:29):
Oh, I'll play certain music.

(00:25:31):
Your song, are you talking about that?

(00:25:32):
I don't know.

(00:25:32):
It's just your weirdest thing, like a free throw shot, and I doubled out.

(00:25:38):
Like Pharaoh Montaigne, I'll throw on any time I need to get up and get moving.

(00:25:44):
What would you guys say the difference between, like, religion versus spirituality?

(00:25:51):
And...

(00:25:53):
What kind of makes them see,

(00:25:55):
I feel like one of the great things about the program,

(00:25:59):
like the 12 steps,

(00:26:01):
I always look for the similarities versus the differences.

(00:26:03):
So my head is like I can automatically go to like how they're so similar.

(00:26:08):
But what makes them so different?

(00:26:11):
Because you can be spiritually religious, right?

(00:26:15):
But is religion equivalent to spirituality?

(00:26:20):
Right.

(00:26:20):
I like this question a lot because I hear in meetings,

(00:26:24):
you know,

(00:26:25):
religion is for people that don't want to go to hell and spirituality is for people

(00:26:30):
that have been to hell and don't want to go back.

(00:26:32):
Ooh.

(00:26:34):
I like that.

(00:26:34):
I love that.

(00:26:35):
And I'm able to separate that and I'm able to tell other people that too of like –

(00:26:40):
Religion is something that I can study and spirituality is more like,

(00:26:46):
what can I do to help somebody?

(00:26:48):
What can I do to get out there and like show that?

(00:26:52):
And whoever disagrees, like that's fine.

(00:26:55):
No, that's that's an amazing explanation.

(00:26:58):
Hadn't thought about it like that.

(00:26:59):
Yeah, no, I really I've never heard that before.

(00:27:02):
You said you've heard it.

(00:27:03):
Yeah.

(00:27:04):
I don't know that anyone would have, what would you argue that?

(00:27:08):
No, that was really good.

(00:27:09):
I was like,

(00:27:09):
there's nothing to debate on because really,

(00:27:12):
and it can be anything religion category you want,

(00:27:15):
you know,

(00:27:16):
like it's under that umbrella,

(00:27:17):
but yeah,

(00:27:18):
I think the spirituality is like the action of what,

(00:27:21):
how you practice it,

(00:27:22):
whether it be through meditating or attending a church ceremony or group or like

(00:27:26):
Bible study,

(00:27:27):
whatever,

(00:27:28):
you know,

(00:27:28):
you could say that like big book studies could be your version of spirituality.

(00:27:32):
Um,

(00:27:33):
Because people will say, like, I'm spiritually unfit.

(00:27:36):
You know, like it's been a minute since they've done an inventory or work.

(00:27:41):
But that doesn't mean that they don't have a religion.

(00:27:44):
That's the category.

(00:27:45):
You remember the Daniel Tosh joke?

(00:27:47):
This is like girls in L.A.

(00:27:50):
will always say, I'm not religious.

(00:27:52):
I'm spiritual.

(00:27:53):
He's like, oh, I'm not honest, but you're interesting.

(00:27:58):
I love Daniel Tosh.

(00:27:59):
I know, me too.

(00:28:00):
That was one of his... Yeah, I remember.

(00:28:03):
That was like the don't smile on the wave runner.

(00:28:05):
Try to frown on a wave runner, you can't.

(00:28:08):
He goes... The early Comedy Central.

(00:28:13):
Do you have to forgive to move forward?

(00:28:17):
No.

(00:28:18):
Explain.

(00:28:19):
Yeah, when I hear...

(00:28:21):
Well, I mean, you're always going to be moving forward no matter what.

(00:28:24):
You can start to get more resentments and stuff,

(00:28:27):
but you're going to have to move forward no matter what.

(00:28:30):
Eventually, you might just have to.

(00:28:33):
So do you mean, so do you not believe people can like backslide or backslid?

(00:28:36):
Like you don't.

(00:28:37):
So if you're saying you're always moving forward, is there any time you go back?

(00:28:43):
Whoa.

(00:28:47):
Do you have to forgive to move forward?

(00:28:55):
I mean, I guess it just depends.

(00:28:59):
Because if you're saying you have resentments and like you're building on and

(00:29:02):
you're not forgiving something and you're holding on to it,

(00:29:05):
wouldn't you say that's putting you back,

(00:29:07):
not progressing?

(00:29:08):
Yeah.

(00:29:09):
Yeah, I guess it also just depends on what, you know, you're mad about, too.

(00:29:14):
I mean, at some point, you're just going to be like, this person is who they are.

(00:29:19):
They're never going to change.

(00:29:21):
So either I need to change the way I feel about it and just get over the fact that,

(00:29:25):
you know,

(00:29:25):
they're never going to change the cat litter and I'm going to do it forever.

(00:29:29):
Or, yeah.

(00:29:31):
Shots higher.

(00:29:31):
What are you talking about, Willis?

(00:29:34):
That much stuff.

(00:29:37):
I have no idea what he's talking about.

(00:29:39):
You said you wanted to do it.

(00:29:41):
Nobody never said that.

(00:29:43):
When I was pregnant, you were very happy to help.

(00:29:46):
Man,

(00:29:47):
the first thing I would do if we get this million dollars is,

(00:29:52):
yeah,

(00:29:52):
the automatic litter box.

(00:29:56):
Man, what a game change.

(00:29:57):
Get my news on TikTok.

(00:30:00):
Cat's heads have been sick.

(00:30:03):
They're stuck in there because the automatic thing will just go and they're stuck

(00:30:08):
in there and you can't get it out.

(00:30:10):
I mean, it's a whole thing.

(00:30:11):
So just be careful.

(00:30:12):
Even the celebrity one that's like super expensive.

(00:30:15):
The one Pam from The Office is always advertising one.

(00:30:20):
wait until evan yeah the first tour i mean i remember them being annoying as a kid

(00:30:26):
but i'm sure our parents were like so glad and they could just you know yeah like

(00:30:31):
your job is to do the dishwasher or take out the trash or clean the poop in the

(00:30:36):
backyard yeah and you didn't have a dog i have just clean the poop in the backyard

(00:30:45):
you're like all these other dogs

(00:30:48):
Are you guys forgiving to move forward?

(00:30:51):
I do think you have to forgive to move forward.

(00:30:54):
And that could be forgive yourself too.

(00:30:58):
I think that's, I'm probably my biggest hang up on most things.

(00:31:03):
I'm very stubborn and I will be like,

(00:31:06):
I don't know.

(00:31:06):
May is the... I've gone... With therapy, the negative self-talk has lowered.

(00:31:12):
But there are times... Colin will attest that I can be the meanest person to myself.

(00:31:19):
Yeah.

(00:31:19):
And it's like, I gotta be forgiving...

(00:31:24):
To me, too.

(00:31:24):
Like I have I think that was one of the best things I heard when making amends.

(00:31:32):
You know, for every amend you give, you owe one to yourself.

(00:31:34):
Yeah.

(00:31:35):
And because, you know, that was your part, too, is the carrying it.

(00:31:40):
So that always helps me.

(00:31:44):
be I guess free in that sense and I think that's when I move forward but I do think

(00:31:49):
I backslide like I've known with autoimmune it's been hard yeah it's been but no

(00:31:55):
drinks or drugs like I mean there's no but I can get still mean I can still get

(00:31:59):
agitated I can still nowhere near what it used to be but it still doesn't if it

(00:32:05):
doesn't feel good you know I'll say something to Colin or I rewatch something on

(00:32:10):
the podcast and I'm like okay that was unnecessary you know

(00:32:14):
I'm sorry, that wasn't right.

(00:32:15):
You got the word for that,

(00:32:16):
because I know I'm big on any negativity that you breathe into the world,

(00:32:21):
you know,

(00:32:22):
gives it more truth.

(00:32:24):
Yeah,

(00:32:25):
where if you say out loud,

(00:32:27):
like,

(00:32:27):
I can't do this,

(00:32:28):
or that's not going to work,

(00:32:30):
I think you're just,

(00:32:31):
you're building that up even more and more.

(00:32:34):
So I'm always trying to be,

(00:32:36):
even though it's not,

(00:32:37):
I mean,

(00:32:37):
it's impossible to always be positive and breathe positivity,

(00:32:41):
but

(00:32:41):
Yeah,

(00:32:42):
I try to,

(00:32:43):
even when I get overloaded at work,

(00:32:44):
I don't say,

(00:32:45):
I can't do this,

(00:32:45):
blah,

(00:32:46):
blah,

(00:32:46):
blah.

(00:32:46):
If I just be like, one step at a time, one step at a time, you know, you'll get through it.

(00:32:50):
You'll do it.

(00:32:51):
Yeah, I'll go to one hour at a time lately.

(00:32:54):
Like, I mean, literally, it's, you know, the dinner is supposed to be tonight, right?

(00:32:59):
And I'm still...

(00:33:00):
like i'm feeling okay well i don't want to call or make a decision i'm gonna see

(00:33:05):
how i feel you know 30 minutes before because if i were to call it now i'll get all

(00:33:10):
anxious i'm gonna get myself worked up and then i have a way lesser chance of going

(00:33:14):
so i kind of been like i gotta see how i feel in the moment at a time um and that's

(00:33:22):
yeah it's just the way i live life now i don't know

(00:33:26):
And I agree.

(00:33:27):
I think, you know, with amends, it was my sponsor has said to me of what amends are.

(00:33:36):
It's like we're not looking for forgiveness from the other person.

(00:33:39):
It's looking for forgiveness from a higher power.

(00:33:41):
And like that always resonates with me because I always was like,

(00:33:45):
oh,

(00:33:46):
if I say Snari,

(00:33:47):
they're going to like me again.

(00:33:48):
And it's like, that's not what it's about.

(00:33:50):
Like this is about like between me and my higher power and finding that connection.

(00:33:56):
And so I think in those cases,

(00:33:58):
like it's just finding grace for other people of like,

(00:34:01):
okay,

(00:34:01):
they just didn't act the way I would act or they just didn't do that the way I

(00:34:05):
would do it.

(00:34:06):
But like,

(00:34:07):
Who cares?

(00:34:07):
Because I want to move on.

(00:34:10):
I don't have time to sit and replay it in my mind all the time.

(00:34:15):
That's exhausting.

(00:34:16):
So I think at the end of the day, it's just like, all right, well, that's that person.

(00:34:23):
I'm me.

(00:34:24):
He's who he is and she is.

(00:34:27):
Since you just said that, when we do get sober or, you know,

(00:34:32):
replaying every event to like every little detail of it there's a lot and it's

(00:34:39):
either asking forgiveness or making amends helping us get over that but yeah we're

(00:34:45):
not like i remember so many times driving to work on 75 screaming at an event in my

(00:34:51):
head and just being like and just reliving it over and over and over and over

(00:34:55):
I still have not stopped thinking,

(00:34:57):
okay,

(00:34:58):
I think we're showing,

(00:34:59):
we watch a lot of TV shows,

(00:35:00):
but there's this TV show called Bookie,

(00:35:03):
and I feel like...

(00:35:03):
I love that.

(00:35:04):
Is that good?

(00:35:05):
It's so funny.

(00:35:06):
Okay.

(00:35:06):
But I feel like all shows now have someone in recovery, or maybe I just notice it more.

(00:35:11):
I don't know.

(00:35:11):
Either it's like when you see someone has a new blue car,

(00:35:15):
and then all of a sudden you see all the blue cars on the highway.

(00:35:18):
Maybe that's what's happening, but in the...

(00:35:21):
event they the the bookie they get um mugged and eventually this guy like three

(00:35:30):
episodes later comes up and he's like hey i need to talk to you i owe you a mess

(00:35:35):
he's like i don't know you and then he like puts his hood up he's like and he's

(00:35:40):
like oh i did

(00:35:43):
he's yeah i was told to you know i owe you an amend for for trying to rob you and

(00:35:49):
um and this feels great my sponsor didn't tell me that they would have

(00:35:55):
nothing and they said yeah we forgive you glad you're getting help and he's like oh

(00:36:02):
I can't wait I'm about to go get me a slushie I don't amend to the 7-Eleven cashier

(00:36:06):
it's just hilarious but you do you make amends it's not a drunkologue it's not a so

(00:36:14):
you remember that time I peed on your car or you know went not my car you want to

(00:36:22):
amend to someone else out there

(00:36:27):
It wasn't me who did it.

(00:36:29):
Someone else did though, isn't it?

(00:36:32):
Swimming on a car in downtown.

(00:36:34):
I have.

(00:36:36):
It was very an interesting night.

(00:36:38):
Like on the hood or by the tide?

(00:36:40):
God, on the car.

(00:36:41):
Was this in the West End days?

(00:36:44):
Anything goes in the West End.

(00:36:48):
That one guy always shouting like Gators.

(00:36:54):
What's that bar called?

(00:36:56):
Cross from, I think, RIP.

(00:36:58):
I think they all closed down now.

(00:36:59):
I heard that guy won the lottery and then lost it all.

(00:37:03):
Are you serious?

(00:37:03):
And then lost it all in his back of that, like, out in front of the door going,

(00:37:12):
I'm sorry we've taken so much of your time, Priya.

(00:37:15):
No.

(00:37:15):
And is there anything you'd like to throw below?

(00:37:19):
Like your social media?

(00:37:23):
No, my social media is not interesting.

(00:37:25):
I'm just going to just see my cat.

(00:37:27):
Sprinkles is awesome.

(00:37:29):
No, I'm just, I'm grateful to be here and thank you for having me.

(00:37:32):
I hope to be back when we have like

(00:37:38):
But our living room.

(00:37:40):
They all did a great job.

(00:37:41):
Oh, my God.

(00:37:42):
We should have had it.

(00:37:42):
We really saw the behind.

(00:37:43):
You really saw the behind.

(00:37:45):
We really should have had this set up last night and then just done the little tweaking.

(00:37:49):
And it's just hard with Evan.

(00:37:51):
Well, actually, all this equipment, the cats.

(00:37:54):
Yeah.

(00:37:54):
Because the wires.

(00:37:56):
100%.

(00:37:56):
If we had cats that didn't.

(00:37:58):
Well, Mia doesn't really care for wires.

(00:38:00):
Kit Kat.

(00:38:02):
loves it and he will like try and get down and he thinks and he puts it in the

(00:38:07):
water bowl i don't know why i've never had a cat that's done that before kit kat

(00:38:12):
like we'll take things oh but anything he takes he brings to his water bowl like

(00:38:18):
it's his um the sprinkles do that does she puts that you know eats everything

(00:38:23):
Yeah.

(00:38:24):
I mean, that's... Sideboard and... That's sometimes normal, I think.

(00:38:27):
But, like, he will get it in his mouth and, like, Evan's toys even.

(00:38:30):
Yeah.

(00:38:31):
And it's very weird.

(00:38:33):
Like, these will... These adorable friendships.

(00:38:37):
I actually have never made friendship bracelets.

(00:38:41):
I did not make them.

(00:38:42):
I was like,

(00:38:43):
I've never...

(00:38:44):
I got offered at Adobe and I felt very alone and I was like,

(00:38:48):
I'll come back.

(00:38:48):
And I never went back.

(00:38:50):
I was like, you know, like, oh, yeah.

(00:38:55):
It was like an advertisement.

(00:38:56):
Oh, his Facebook meta was hosting it.

(00:39:01):
So, oh, these are so cute.

(00:39:04):
I'm so excited.

(00:39:04):
Evan's going to want one.

(00:39:05):
He's going to go, like... Until he finds out it's Taylor Swift.

(00:39:10):
No, he's going to tell me, ask which one I like the most, and then he's going to take that one.

(00:39:14):
All I have to do is say it's my favorite, and then it's all his favorite.

(00:39:16):
It's all his, yeah.

(00:39:18):
So, okay, well... Our first in-house sober banter guest.

(00:39:23):
Yeah.

(00:39:24):
Thank you for listening to Sober Banter.

(00:39:26):
Goodbye.

(00:39:27):
We are so bad at goodbyes.

(00:39:29):
More graded.