what’s your style of arguing during a rupture (aka, conflict)?
This is the first thing I want to understand when I’m helping someone in distress
stuck in a “should I stay or go” situation.
The love is there,
there’s so much to be grateful for,
there are often kids involved,
but the way people fight is not conducive to a healthy dynamic,
and the worst thing about it is when the kids are standing there,
watching and learning — the exact same way YOU DID when you were a child
watching your parents as they navigated a rupture/conflict between them.
You are likely someone who values personal growth,
leadership, expansion and responsibility— and NOT wanting to remain in a victim story.
But once you’re triggered in conflict,
and stuck in a rupture you’re ill-equipped to repair from,
you’ll fall back into patterns that were implanted
since you were little.
None of this is your fault.
If you want to blame anyone— blame your family and societal conditioning.
Ruptures and disagreement aren’t something you actually learned how to navigate.
So if you’re like MOST people,
your system has very little capacity for ruptures and disagreement.
This was me in my last relationship.
We were in a Trauma Bond, so we got off on the rupture repair process—
which was intensified by make-up sex.
Which feels awesome during those moments—
But at what cost?
- Sleepless nights
- Constantly on high alert
- Depression and needing out of the situation, but feeling powerless to move
- Wondering if secure love is possible for you
- Self Hate, low self worth
- Constant resentment
- Health takes a down-turn (digestive and auto-immune)
If you’re resonating with all of this and feeling a sense of immense shame,
don’t beat yourself up.
I know exactly what that’s like.
You’re not a bad person— and you’re not broken.
You simply haven’t learned how to repair through conflict —
in such a way that the intimacy deepens.
You haven’t learned how to become Trigger-Proof.
When you do— you can go through the discomfort of a rupture
without people pleasing and fawning while simultaneously
communicating your boundaries in a way that your partner
feels understood and appreciated.
When you do, the polarity is restored and magnetism arises.
And the repair doesn’t spin you into another cycle of love-bombing/honeymoon phase either…
It’s far more grounded and stable than that.
I know if you’re reading this, you probably hate that merry-go round,
wondering if you should leave the relationship,
endless talk therapy sessions that try to validate your story,
books and courses on communication that don’t address what arises in your biology when you’re in a rupture,
wishing that they “fix their issues” so you can have a happy relationship…
that’s why the focus of my work is 100% on what YOU CAN DO ON YOUR SIDE OF THE STREET
that helps you become a MASTER of repair….
First with yourself…
then with the other.
Take a moment and imagine the confidence that emerges when you know you have mastered that.
If you stand for a healed family system,
to move into compassion from all the resentment and bitterness,
so that you can finally break the cycle that didn’t start with you,
and you can either magnetize a relationship with someone willing to work WITH you,
or deepen your magnetism so that your partner will rise to meet you there,
because they respect and cherish who you have become to the point they don’t want to lose you.
A rising tide lifts all boats.
And you know that.
Master your capacity to repair from a rupture,
and every single relationship in your life changes for the better.
Your wingman on the adventure,
standing for healed families.
Nima
___________________________
Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month)
If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive relationship patterns, same arguments, attracting the same patterns, and you want to gain the clarity, confidence, and Courage to create secure relationships
https://drnima.com/lp/should-i-stay-or-go/?sl=transistor-podcast
Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month)
Dissolve your current relationship resentment, heal your attachment wounds, resolve your past and bring clarity to your next step.
https://go.drnima.com/oevw?sl=transistor-podcast
Or if you are wanting to hop on a call and discuss how we can support you through your transition and you're wanting deeper guidance on your healing journey and you're ready to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma (divorce, separation, relationship limbo, past trauma spilling into present)
https://drnima.com/discovery/application/?sl=transistor-podcast
Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof
Are you on Telegram? Click link below to join my channel for some TriggerProof wisdom to keep your nervous system regulated, your soul in your body, and your heart aligned with your purpose.
https://t.me/joinchat/TPQjyH2MCBKHonIR
What is Trigger Proof Transmissions (Cyclebreaker Collective)?
Welcome to the TriggerProof podcast.
This is the first season of the Podcast which are audio renditions of
Facebook Live Video Transmissions done for the “TriggerProof” Facebook Community.
These were set up by request of our community members who wanted an opportunity to listen
to insights, tools, and strategies to help heal relationship dynamics, deepen intimacy,
and master the fine art of Autonomic Nervous System Regulation so that we can build resilience,
heal from the past, and become active operators of our mind, body, and life.
This first season wasn’t designed to be a podcast, so you’ll notice the audio isn’t
Professional Studio Quality (like it is on season 2 as we’ve upgraded incrementally).
These trainings are designed to introduce and deepen you to the most critical 2 skills we’ve never been taught:
1) The skill and practice of taking our triggers (Nervous System Activations) and turning them into deeper safety and self-love,
2) The skill and practice of taking conflict (that happens in any relationship) and turning them into deeper intimacy between the parties involved.
Not learning these two critical skills at this time in history costs us dearly: Physical and Mental health is on the DECLINE.
Doing this deep level of healing work can break the cycle of Intergenerational Trauma that didn’t start with you.
It didn’t start with you, but it can end with you,
#Cyclebreaker.
______________________________________________________________________
When you're ready, here's what we got:
Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month)
If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive relationship patterns, same arguments, attracting the same patterns, and you want to gain the clarity, confidence, and Courage to create secure relationships
https://drnima.com/lp/should-i-stay-or-go/?sl=transistor-podcast
Upcoming "Breathwork and Badassery" Live Event (Every month)
Regulate Your stress, deepen your connection to your inner child, process your stuck emotions and improve your capacity
https://go.drnima.com/bbvw?sl=transistor-podcast
Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month)
Dissolve your current relationship resentment, heal your attachment wounds, resolve your past and bring clarity to your next step.
https://go.drnima.com/oevw?sl=transistor-podcast
Or if you are wanting to hop on a call and discuss how we can support you through your transition and you're wanting deeper guidance on your healing journey and you're ready to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma (divorce, separation, relationship limbo, past trauma spilling into present)
https://drnima.com/discovery/application/?sl=transistor-podcast
Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof