Isaac Allen Burns: Speaking of British, how we doing, everybody? Are we ready for a fun podcast?
Annie Hawthorne: No. Because I don't remember what happened last time. I was, like, trying to think of the guy who's who I am right now, and it was like Bartholomew. And that was not his name.
Rowan Collins: No. Bartholomew?
Isaac Allen Burns: Bartholomew. Wait. Yeah.
Annie Hawthorne: Yeah. Because Krink got madrig'd into somebody else.
Rowan Collins: That's right. And you had a duck come out of your chest.
Annie Hawthorne: That is true. In the middle of a bar.
Rowan Collins: In the middle of a bar.
Isaac Allen Burns: So last time on Dodoborn, if you recall, Cerulean, your friend from Polaris who was looking for something or someone called Clover of Towers, used a spell to magic you into a different form, and you took the form of Benedict Xeshtan, who all of you met at Zechtan Manor. You paraded around and spoke to someone from Armada, an Armada merchant, who took you to be Benedict Zechtan and gave you maybe a couple of secrets that they otherwise wouldn't have said. But nevertheless, you did let it slip that you weren't exactly who you said you were. Later on, you would be in that same casino and spoke with a unfamiliar to you face, Byron Stormwater, who is a peacekeeper that is currently stationed here in Algenabai as they're trying to handle their refugee crisis. After a couple of awkward exchanges, quackers burst out of your chest, making it look like you've seen an alien, and Byron fainted as you left.
And you were going to the docks because the current mission that you were given from Michelle at the Adventuring Guild was to figure out what the Luvenhurst gang was up to. The Luvenhurst gang is sort of the local mafioso, the low the local underfoot gang, the thieves guild here in Algenabai. And they've been recently recruiting from both the young people of the refugees and around town. Your task was to go to the docks where they had been heavily recruiting and see if you can figure out what exactly is going on. Ideally, finding any information that would lead you to their current headquarters or to a point of interest or what their nefarious deeds are going and doing things.
At the time, the plan was for Pistachio to walk up to Wally, their oldest brother, and talk to them. But before we do that Mhmm. I would like to take us out somewhere distant, somewhere different, somewhere that we haven't quite seen yet. The machinations of these countries are vast and borderline unknowable, but I still want to see a little scene. What we're gonna do now, gang, the only thing I wanna let you all know is imagine a ship captain, shall you?
Just keep that in your mind. As we head to New Lacerda City, that's right, the land based capital of Armada. The Armada and Federation is mostly made up of ship crews and captains crews that expand through the various seas around Altea and it is in fact said that this federation is made up of these crews such that the moment you step foot on any kind of water based ship, you are stepping on the sovereign ground of Armada itself. However, there is some land within the Armada in Federation and one of them is their capital, New Lacerda City. Built on the remains of Old Lacerda City through the forms of the carcasses of old ships and caves that were dug into the sides of this island by some long forgotten peoples.
New Lacerda City is a den of thieves, a bucket of monkeys, and a barrel full of fun. The worst and best people can be found here at New Lacerda City. That's right. This is Tortuga from parts of the Caribbean. You can hear pirates running to and fro.
You see haphazardly placed merchants walking around trying to sell their wares and not get robbed or pantsed, whichever is worse for them. Pirate episode.
Rowan Collins: Pirate episode. Ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me. Yar.
Isaac Allen Burns: In fact, we find ourselves in a very important room. This is a meeting room. In the very center of this war room table, we see a large map, daggers and also a big sword stuck into this corners of this map. Blunder buses put next to it just in case. We see a map drawn of the season of the lands, a little old, some canals are not quite drawn properly, but it gets the job done.
Sitting around it are three ship captains, the three head captains of Armada. Not the only ship captains mind you, but certainly the three most powerful. One of them in fact is the head and leader and captain of the Azure Reavers, the Armada based mercenary group that operates on the seas. And I can't wait to find out which of you three that is. However, bursting through the door is the person of the hour, the woman of the stage.
The spotlight shines on her as we see president Rosalyn Irongaw. That's right. This woman is a giant of giants and more woman than you can handle. She strides in, her face aged and weathered from both the sea and from the battles that she has fought. Her stark white hair is left down to billow in the wind and in fact is billowing right now because this room was set up such that wind always billows here and also rocks back and forth a little bit just so that all these sea legged pirates can feel right at home in this war room.
She strides in, lifts her leg above one of the chairs and sits Reichard style and says,
Isaac Allen Burns: here we be again in the war room ready to speak on strategies and business. Ah, my three favorite people here in this room right now. What would I do without the three of you? We've had such a long and storied history together.
Isaac Allen Burns: She looks to her left, which is seated. Rowan Collins, would you like to explain who your captain is? Tell us a little bit about them.
Rowan Collins: Name and everything?
Isaac Allen Burns: Give us a name, give us a description, and give us one fun fact about them.
Rowan Collins: Alright.
Isaac Allen Burns: And also what their pirate crew is called.
Rowan Collins: Okay. My pirate's name is Featherbeak and it is a fun girl who has essentially a parrot that is kind of like almost jacked into them on their top of the head and it's like the parrot looks and addresses to everybody but the fun girl is like the mind and body that's at the bottom of it. This captain feather beak is dressed in bright red similar to match the parrot, a tiny little captain's hat on top of the parrot's head and then the rest of the the crew is called the flock. I think it's fair.
Joe Diametti: That's horrific.
Isaac Allen Burns: But I
Joe Diametti: love going.
Rowan Collins: It's going great, Joe. Thanks for asking.
Isaac Allen Burns: So Featherbeak, I see that Rosalyn addresses you. You go way back. You go so far back. What was the event that made it so that you owed Rosalyn a life debt?
Rowan Collins: So Featherbeak is a symbiotic organism and the parrot had separated from the fungal at some point and captain Rosalind managed to get them back together without a tie separating.
Isaac Allen Burns: Our feather beak Takes me back to the days when we were fighting the Voldan navy back in '94.
Rowan Collins: I does.
Isaac Allen Burns: Remember that fight that one time where the one Voldan captain cleaved your head right off your shoulders?
Rowan Collins: I remember. I remember. Not very great for me.
Isaac Allen Burns: Not very good for you, but I still got your parrot back in one piece with maybe missing one or two feathers.
Rowan Collins: Indeed you did. Only my butt feather.
Isaac Allen Burns: That's right. And it was missing because I took it from you and put it in me hat.
Rowan Collins: A small price to pay. That's right.
Isaac Allen Burns: That's right. A small price to pay. That's right. You owe me. That'll be don't you ever forget it.
Rowan Collins: Would you like another one?
Isaac Allen Burns: No. I already have one. Never double tap your gills. It means you are lazy the first time.
Rowan Collins: That's nice to say.
Isaac Allen Burns: Very good. How be things on the shores of Rasalis? Is duchess Gabel giving us more trouble on the southern shores of Vol'dane?
Rowan Collins: You know it. That bent one is a bitch.
Isaac Allen Burns: That's right. Ever since we took some other land from them many years ago during the war, they've never quite had our ways. Makes doing business with Vol'dayne quite terrible, doesn't it?
Rowan Collins: That it does.
Isaac Allen Burns: Did they kill our two envoys that we sent there?
Rowan Collins: No. I don't think so. I think they're still living, but probably wish they were dead.
Isaac Allen Burns: Are they probably been on the land for too long? You know of the land's curse for us, our modern types. You stay on it for too long, and next thing you know, you'll be liking it.
Rowan Collins: Yep. Forget how to dance. No longer can sway.
Isaac Allen Burns: Alright. Let me write. I forget how uncomfortable it makes me talking to you, better be. However, I look now to me third captain. That's right.
Isaac Allen Burns: Annie, why don't you go ahead and tell us about your captain?
Annie Hawthorne: Sure. You see in a giant oak chair around this table, a two foot six goblin
Rowan Collins: Yes.
Annie Hawthorne: Who is just sitting on the chair as if she was a child, legs just straight out because they don't even bend over the sides of the chair. I love this. Like, the table is probably about at her chin, and she's just, like, trying to look over it. And she's wearing a massive tricorn hat and boots that on a normal person might go up to, like, mid shin, but are completely just thigh highs. And she's wearing, like, a billowy coat that has clearly just been cut so it doesn't drag the floor.
And that massive sword in the corner of the map is is ours.
Isaac Allen Burns: And what is this captain's name?
Annie Hawthorne: Her name is Gertrude.
Isaac Allen Burns: Gertrude. Oh, I love it.
Annie Hawthorne: Captain Gertrude.
Isaac Allen Burns: And what are Gertrude's pirates called?
Annie Hawthorne: They're called g g g, also Gertrude's glorious gallivanters.
Rowan Collins: I love that. Yes.
Isaac Allen Burns: And Gertrude, why didn't it work between you and Rosalyn?
Annie Hawthorne: It's the height difference.
Isaac Allen Burns: Rosalyn looks down at you, not down her nose, but with respect, and says, argh, captain Gertie.
Annie Hawthorne: Howdy. Rosalyn.
Isaac Allen Burns: Just as cold as the iron seas, are you?
Annie Hawthorne: It's what you always liked about me.
Isaac Allen Burns: I did. My art still burns with a great fire for you, and yet your two small stature's souls too big for me.
Joe Diametti: Hashtag short king.
Rowan Collins: Hashtag short queen.
Isaac Allen Burns: Hashtag short captain. Rosalyn looks at you.
Isaac Allen Burns: Gertrude, from some of your reports, it sounds like the the old purple bastards there in their magical little cities aren't quite willing to parley with their flying machines yet, are they?
Annie Hawthorne: Nope. Nope. They are not. They not answering any of our summons or any of our missives. I have half a mind to march into that city myself, but, you know, I would have to take a smaller boat.
Isaac Allen Burns: I take on the twin coasts of Eidolon in a tiny boat. You sure could do it if any of us could. You think that's the plan, Gertrude? What do we need to do to put pressure on them to get them to give us their tech? How I'd love to fly in the skies at least once in me life.
Annie Hawthorne: I think the move is to take all of our ships and make a show of strength.
Isaac Allen Burns: Uh-oh. Arr. That could be a good play, especially since we know of the location of a certain somebody, but I'm sure they'd be quite interested in knowing. How be your contact there in Fuldayne? Have the lion's eaten him up yet or is that silver tongue of his working well?
Annie Hawthorne: You know, it got Harry there for a little while, but last I heard, he was hanging in there just fine.
Isaac Allen Burns: Good to hear. That old dandy O'Toole. While I don't trust him as far as I can throw him, because I can throw him a great way. He can get the job done alright. We'll speak later, Gertie.
Annie Hawthorne: Can't wait.
Isaac Allen Burns: I have
Isaac Allen Burns: a letter for you. It's been sealed with a kiss. Oh. One day, you'll come back to me. And now I
Annie Hawthorne: Don't hold your breath.
Isaac Allen Burns: And now I look to the middle of the table to the most Rapscallion rebellious of the three captains here.
Isaac Allen Burns: Joe, tell us about your captain.
Joe Diametti: Yeah. So all of this time gave me a lot of time to Google things on my phone. So my captain is Captain Weber, who is a very very tall, slender ribbit.
Rowan Collins: He's yellow
Joe Diametti: with brownish prints and lines all down him. He's wearing a artilleryman pirate hat, which you can look it up, popular in 1780. And it looks kind of like a pirate hat but it has a big giant feather in it and the feather matches his skin and he has, you know, normal pirate guards but he's got two swords on his back that cross behind him.
Rowan Collins: What a
Annie Hawthorne: show off. Wow.
Joe Diametti: You guys gave me too much time. No. Oh, hey. Hang on. Sorry.
My pirate crew is named the Lucky Croaks.
Rowan Collins: The Lucky Croaks.
Isaac Allen Burns: That's right. The Lucky Croaks be the largest of the mercenary bands within the Azure Reavers. For as we know, for all mercenary guilds, there is the main umbrella that takes up the name mostly by location, but there are smaller bands within each one. Though the strongest, of course, the Lucky Croaks. Captain Weber, why have you never trusted Captain Rosalyn?
Joe Diametti: I've never trusted Rosalyn because my lunch is always missing and I swear it's her, but I can't prove it.
Isaac Allen Burns: In the in the in the corporate lunch office building of New Lacerda City. Arr, captain Weber. Arr.
Isaac Allen Burns: She wipes a little mustard away from the corner of her mouth and says,
Joe Diametti: so Do you have a nice lunch?
Isaac Allen Burns: That's right. I feasted upon the hearts of me enemies who double crossed me all those years ago.
Joe Diametti: Or didn't happen to feast on a turkey sandwich, did you?
Isaac Allen Burns: Why would you think such a thing? Or You know why you ate it. Or maybe I did. And what are you gonna do about it?
Joe Diametti: I'll just let you right here. And I pulled both of my swords out.
Isaac Allen Burns: You see she pulls out this enormous, like, maul that's just made of a mast, and she
Isaac Allen Burns: slams it next to the table and says, I always told you the day that you die, I'd be standing over you, but today is not the day, Weber. Put your dinky swords away.
Joe Diametti: Fine. When I die, it'll be with a full belly.
Isaac Allen Burns: And when I die, I better not see you or I'm dragging you with me.
Annie Hawthorne: You're all stereotypes.
Isaac Allen Burns: Arweber, you and your crew be working in Jastain recently, Argh. Tell, what's the name of that port you said would be a good place to have our ships dock at in Justain's area. A new place they'd be building up recently to start trade.
Joe Diametti: I it's Port Lacerda City Junior.
Isaac Allen Burns: That's right. That's the name that we wanna give it, and we're only gonna do trade with Justain if they agree to name the city that one right there.
Joe Diametti: I am not budging.
Isaac Allen Burns: Alright. Nor should ye. I I won't. We be pirates of Armada. Our federation is strong as we are.
Isaac Allen Burns: She starts coughing, and she starts hitting her chest.
Rowan Collins: Resist. Captain Rosalind, is everything okay?
Isaac Allen Burns: I'm fine. Just a bit of waterlogged turkey that I had earlier today.
Joe Diametti: Aye. Turkey?
Isaac Allen Burns: No. A different turkey. I promise. Wait. No.
Don't worry about it. We could talk about it later. The important thing,
Isaac Allen Burns: she says as she coughs a few more times.
Isaac Allen Burns: The important thing is that we keep strong our ties to Justane. After all, we're a big reason they even won the war against the Leos in the first place. They better not be forgetting who their first allies were.
Rowan Collins: Us, we were the allies. Right?
Isaac Allen Burns: That's exactly right, Featherbeak. That's exactly right, and they better not forget it.
Rowan Collins: The parent never forgets. Right?
Isaac Allen Burns: That's exactly right. By the way, Featherbeak, how be that business over in the Gulf Of Oldain recently?
Rowan Collins: It has a doornail.
Isaac Allen Burns: Good to hear. Good to hear. Those toppers won't know what hit them. Pray to their gods all they want. The only important one is that of the sea.
Rowan Collins: Indeed it is, and concrete shoes don't float.
Isaac Allen Burns: I you see that she coughs a few more times, and you swear you notice a little blood at the corner of it. She stands and says,
Isaac Allen Burns: I think I need another grog. You three go on your way. I'm gonna stay back here and think about all the times we used to have together, Gertrude.
Annie Hawthorne: I hopped down off of my massive chair, and I just, like, waddle to the door. Don't think too hard. You might hurt yourself. And I walk out.
Isaac Allen Burns: What a heartbreaker that one is. And as the two of you watch as president Rosalyn, this giant of a woman, the main reason that Armada won the war against Boldain many years ago at this point. The thing that has kept your people together for so long, you see she smiles. And as she opens the door to her quarters, she stumbles in and falls prone. Pistachio.
Rowan Collins: That's me.
Isaac Allen Burns: It is evening at the docks of Algenabai, a place of movement both for goods, services, and people. You're currently walking up to your brother, Wally, who is as you said on lookout for something. His eyes are scanning the port so he sees you approaching before you get there. Tell us a little bit about Wally Pistachio. We really haven't had a chance to meet Wally all that much.
And the really question I'm asking is, what does Pistachio think of Wally?
Rowan Collins: So Wally is the firstborn child before the twins were born. He was perhaps the golden child again before replaced by two younger siblings. And I think he's often not just like the older sibling, but also ends up being the mediator between the two twins. He doesn't always get, like, chosen by those two. They often had chose each other to hang out with, but whenever something goes wrong, he's always the one that's gonna hear about it and that he almost feels, like, replaceable in that kind of in that kind of mentality.
He's the older sister or sibling that's just, like, only there when things go wrong.
Isaac Allen Burns: Yeah. Yeah. You can kinda say he's loyal almost. Yeah. Like, he's always there to help.
Rowan Collins: Yeah. And always provides the worst advice. Like, he would always say like, hey, you guys should like just fight it out with your horns.
Isaac Allen Burns: Such an old with your horns that you filed down.
Rowan Collins: Yeah. Nice. Uh-huh.
Isaac Allen Burns: Did did Wally have a favorite between you and Hazel? Oh. Or did he kinda dislike you both equally?
Rowan Collins: I think it shifted. I think because Hazel works with him now, she is kind of more of the favorite because he understands her a bit more and doesn't get a chance to hang out with Pistachio. But Pistachio makes the best food and always brings him his favorite snacks.
Isaac Allen Burns: So Nice. You are walking up while he is working at the docks. As you see Wally, he is exactly how you would expect an older fawn brother to look. The scar on his face though is fairly pronounced. More on the side of Zuko from The Last Airbender than Two Face from Batman.
Right? The face has healed about as best it could. And I think a brief memory flashes from the back of your mind of exactly why that is. Wally sees you, his eyes kinda go wide, but he watches you walk up. And Pistachio, how do you approach?
Rowan Collins: I think Pistachio bounds up to Wally. Oh my gosh, Wally. Oh my gosh. It's good to see you. Okay, Bob.
Pointed me right in your direction. I'm so glad that I could find you. She said you were gonna be bound by the dachshund. I know that was around the time that she said, but I hate you so badly. I haven't I'm I'm having a lot of problems.
Isaac Allen Burns: What? Stachio, what are
Joe Diametti: you what are
Isaac Allen Burns: you are you doing here? Oh,
Rowan Collins: I kinda find you because, like, Hazel, all the busy working all the time and the mom's, like, entire legs are gone and, like, you know, dad's never helpful with anything, and I I need advice. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns: See that he's looking around. Go ahead and make an instinct check for me as you are in front of Wally here. See if we can pick up Wally's vibe.
Rowan Collins: It's 19 with hope.
Isaac Allen Burns: 19 with hope. You're gonna get a lot from this then. You first thing you notice, as established last time, Wally is on lookout and Pistachio notices that he's not exactly looking for something in particular, his eyes are continually scanning the dots akin to a lifeguard scanning a pool. Right? Looking for anything out of place, looking for anything wrong.
Another thing you notice is that on his left wrist is a strange device. You're not quite sure what it is. It looks very much like a watch, but it does not have a watch face. It looks just kind of like a black disc on a strap on his wrist. No sigils or writing on it at all.
He seems very nervous as well that you're here and says, Pistachio, look, I get, you know, I get things are hard right now, but now is really not a good time. Like, said, can we talk? I'm gonna be at dinner I'm gonna be at dinner tonight. I'm gonna be at dinner in just a couple hours so we can talk But
Rowan Collins: you don't understand. Wally, it's really important. I it's I'm having a crisis of like an entire entire career crisis. I don't know what's going on, Wally. I need your help.
You're the
Isaac Allen Burns: only person.
Isaac Allen Burns: Pistachio, is now really the time
Rowan Collins: to talk about this? Wally. And they like kind of almost paced to get behind him so that he has to turn his back to whatever he's looking at or follow them, either way. They're gonna go, well, Wally, I haven't told Bob or dad or Hazel about this but I killed somebody. You what?
I killed three people, Wally. Three people with my bare mouth.
Joe Diametti: I thought
Isaac Allen Burns: I thought you said Craig killed all those people.
Rowan Collins: No. It was me and I don't know what to do about it, Wally, because I kinda liked it.
Isaac Allen Burns: You see that Wally was kinda looking around. He's still kinda worried and he's just kinda locks eyes with me right now and he just says, what do you mean you liked it? What are you talking about, Pistachio?
Rowan Collins: Well, we had a whole thing where they were attacking our town. They were bad. Right? And I had seen somebody get killed earlier, like, Crate smooshed their head and it was really gross and it was really scary and I didn't know what to do. And then Cappy and Crate gave you this whole big talk about like how you you have to protect each other and you have to like, if people are doing things and you need to protect your family and whatever, that you you'll do whatever you can and then and then I I just did what I could.
I I I I went for their neck and I bent out as hard as possible and they started twitching and then they were gone.
Joe Diametti: Cut two.
Isaac Allen Burns: Cut two.
Joe Diametti: Wait. I'm on the roof with little Benny. Right? Right. It's me, little Benny.
Who's who else is there?
Isaac Allen Burns: You little Benny
Joe Diametti: and Cicilians. And and the duck. Right?
Isaac Allen Burns: Mhmm. And yeah, Quackers, I guess, is with y'all too.
Joe Diametti: Lil Benny. Cappy. My favorite game on the roof. Right? Especially during a stakeout.
You see how Pistachios talking to Wally?
Annie Hawthorne: Mhmm. It looks very intense.
Joe Diametti: Yeah. We should make up what they're saying.
Isaac Allen Burns: Right? I love
Joe Diametti: to guess what they're saying. Right? Like okay. Clearly, Pistachio is like,
Joe Diametti: oh, hi, big brother. I I turn into animals sometimes. I'm a to do. You know?
Joe Diametti: Your turn. No. You you be Wally.
Annie Hawthorne: I think Wally is saying, what the fuck is a dodo?
Joe Diametti: Yeah. Oh, well, you know, it's a it's an extinct bird. I sure do love my coworkers maybe a little too much.
Annie Hawthorne: You're so weird, Pistachio.
Joe Diametti: Yeah. I I am, but it's kind of my charm. Everybody loves me for it. And And
Isaac Allen Burns: then off there too. Right? Me, Cerulean.
Rowan Collins: Hi. How's it going?
Joe Diametti: Cerulean. There's
Isaac Allen Burns: only two
Joe Diametti: people in this scene.
Isaac Allen Burns: I'm sorry.
Annie Hawthorne: I just thought it Do you want do you wanna try to be the big brother?
Isaac Allen Burns: I'll be the big brother.
Annie Hawthorne: Yeah. Okay. Does that make me pistachio?
Isaac Allen Burns: Sure. Yeah. You're pistachio.
Joe Diametti: You can talk me. Can hop
Annie Hawthorne: out first.
Isaac Allen Burns: I'll be the big brother.
Rowan Collins: Yeah. Eddie, do your best pistachio impression.
Isaac Allen Burns: Yeah. I'll try and be what I think that person sounds like, and you can be you. I definitely think my voice changed again, but that's okay. I take on many forms. I am a moth after all.
Annie Hawthorne: Do moths change form?
Isaac Allen Burns: We do now.
Annie Hawthorne: I never knew that. I have to I have to
Isaac Allen Burns: Okay. Okay.
Joe Diametti: Remember
Isaac Allen Burns: that. You walk up and you be you be Pistachio and I'll be me. Do you
Joe Diametti: think Pistachio's saying right now?
Annie Hawthorne: What is Pistachio doing right now?
Rowan Collins: Cut to Pistachio. Just and the weird thing about it, Wally, is, like, I I I got to the end and I I felt powerful. I felt like I could really make a difference. Like, I thought that I could always, like, heal people, but maybe maybe I have a different skill. And it's scaring me a little bit but I know I know, like, I know Hazel's thing is to heal people but, like, maybe you could help me find something different.
But don't tell anybody. I I don't know what I would do if anybody thought I could kill people.
Isaac Allen Burns: I mean, I've never killed anybody.
Joe Diametti: What are
Isaac Allen Burns: you doing?
Isaac Allen Burns: So like Oh.
Isaac Allen Burns: Are you do you want to kill more people? No. Pistachio, are you lying to me right now?
Rowan Collins: No. Pistachio.
Isaac Allen Burns: No. Look, this is a lot and I he, like, doesn't quite know what to do with himself and
Joe Diametti: Cut to.
Annie Hawthorne: I think Pistachio was saying that Dodos only eat doughnuts, but they have to not have nuts on them because they're allergic.
Joe Diametti: Wow. You're really good
Isaac Allen Burns: at this. Did you say nuts pistachio? Well, I'm so happy that actually reminds me of the Fourier transform sigil that's inside one of the books that we learned about in third year. Actually, if you put that on the ground and you cover it in nuts and then you and then Cerulean does this for like five minutes, clearly having forgotten what the plot is.
Isaac Allen Burns: Cut you.
Isaac Allen Burns: Look, Pistachio. This is it's gonna be okay.
Rowan Collins: Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns: You just have a little bit of violent tendencies.
Rowan Collins: Oh, so
Isaac Allen Burns: Certainly, all of us sometimes get mad and wanna, you know, hit some things.
Rowan Collins: Uh-huh. Or that's Tear their deck opens and eat their entrails.
Isaac Allen Burns: Yeah. Maybe that's like the magic.
Rowan Collins: Right. Right. And maybe maybe it's just my magic going wild. You're you're right. You're right.
What I what I mean, Wally, is look, you seem to have you bought us a new apartment, you got us a new a new life and I I just fear that if I keep doing this adventuring thing, I'm gonna put myself and other people in danger again.
Isaac Allen Burns: No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No.
Yeah. I did all that because yeah. He seems really nervous when you say that. He's like, yeah. They they gave me an advance.
Yeah. The bonus they gave me was actually a lot bigger than they gave most people.
Rowan Collins: Well, I did if I did something like you do, like, this seems like easy. Right? You're just, like, out on the docks and, like, looking around and looking suspicious. And if you just did that and then I I did that, then maybe I don't have to run into anything where could so suddenly hurt people again and maybe it'll just be a phase and my magic will just go away and then I'll just be able to help provide for everyone.
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, does that that mean hurting people is kinda look. Okay. There's a lot more going on here. Okay? You can't just jump into this.
Okay? There's there's things I can't explain. Okay?
Rowan Collins: But Wally and then I think Pistachio gives Wally the, like, puppy dog eyes that typically work on their brother. Just like big eyes, but like, please, I don't know what else to do.
Isaac Allen Burns: Okay. Go ahead and give me a presence check here. And I wanna know something, Pistachio.
Rowan Collins: Mhmm.
Isaac Allen Burns: On a normal day
Rowan Collins: Mhmm.
Isaac Allen Burns: What do you think the DC for this check would be for these puppy dog eyes to work? On a normal day, from what you know about Wally?
Rowan Collins: From what I know about Wally, on a normal day Yeah. It'd probably be like a 10.
Isaac Allen Burns: A 10? Okay. The DC for this is a lot higher.
Rowan Collins: Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns: The DC for this is 10 plus whatever you just told me. So the DC for this to work is gonna be a 20.
Rowan Collins: Okay. Can I use family of farmers since this is my family?
Isaac Allen Burns: This is your family. Absolutely. Yeah.
Rowan Collins: It's annoying. With hope.
Isaac Allen Burns: With hope? Okay. Great. I hope. You see there is a lot of conflict in his eyes.
There is something that he is nervous about. He is like kind of scared of. It's not you, but you see in this moment where typically he would like embrace you and tell you it's okay, tell you it's alright. You see that his play is to push you away. And he says, Pistachio, we can talk about this.
Okay. I'm gonna be home tonight. It's gonna be okay. Let's talk about this later. I am sorry I can't talk to you right now, but I have a job that I have to do now.
Okay? So
Rowan Collins: You you think I'm evil, don't you? You hate me because I killed somebody. I just thought I could trust you in that. Wally, I thought I could trust you. Pistachio.
And now you hate me. Oh my god.
Isaac Allen Burns: Pistachio, I never said that.
Rowan Collins: Never said Pistachio. Pistachio's gonna run past him to whatever he is trying not to have.
Isaac Allen Burns: So you are running towards the thing that he is on lookout for. Yep. Very good. You start running that way and just to be clear, you on the roof, you all watch them have this conversation with Wally, you watch them run, and the unfortunate thing is, I'm gonna spend a fear because they run-in a blind spot of where you are at. There are some containers that are now in your way and you do not have eyes on Pistachio.
As you think on that for a second, Pistachio, as you run past Wally, you hear Wally say, Pistachio, wait. As you run past the containers, you see a couple things. The first thing you see is the ship. The area that the ship is docked at is just like the rest of the docks, but you notice that there's another lookout on the other side of from where you are coming into. Mhmm.
You also notice there's a lot of containers around this area, a lot of wooden containers that block view from the street.
Rowan Collins: Mhmm.
Isaac Allen Burns: The other thing you notice is that there are about four boxes, big boxes of something heavy being loaded onto the docks from the ship that is on the water right now. Go ahead and give me a knowledge check as you see this.
Rowan Collins: Get a fear. Congratulations.
Isaac Allen Burns: Thank you so much.
Rowan Collins: I'll take
Isaac Allen Burns: that fear from you. That is
Rowan Collins: a 10.
Isaac Allen Burns: That was fear. You see a ship, you do not recognize any of the sigils on any of it. The only thing that you notice is that at the top of the mast, there is the blue flag of Armada. You see these boxes being loaded, and one of the people turn around to see you. They are a nondescript goon kind of guy, and he says, hey, Two Face.
What's the meaning of this?
Isaac Allen Burns: Who is this here?
Isaac Allen Burns: And, Pistachio, something happens in that moment that turns this moment catastrophic for everyone involved. Uh-oh. And I want to hear from you what that is. Something happens that is the worst possible thing that could happen for this group loading these boxes onto the dock.
Rowan Collins: I'm in between a couple. So I'm in between their supervisor coming in, them bouncing into each other and whatever it is and it is explosive or Wally left just with enough time for somebody that they didn't mean to see to sneak in behind him and is now an intruder behind them in the spot that they were not supposed to be in.
Isaac Allen Burns: Pistachio, as you hear the person on the dock yell, hey, Two Face, what's this? You turn around actually. Partially, probably, because of who Two Face is. And you see that Wally is coming towards you. You see that appearing behind him out of shadow is a masked individual.
They are wearing long black getup and a sort of skin tight, but still has a bit of a cape or a cloak behind it. The mask, as you can imagine, is one of those masks that mostly covers the eyes with slits allowing them to see through it, very much stylized. They have a hood over most of their face where you can really only see the mask and they have some cloth that covers the bottom of their face. This person is clearly some kind of something. And as Wally is yelling, wait, this person comes up behind.
You see a flash of a dagger.
Rowan Collins: What? Can I attack this person?
Isaac Allen Burns: What are you gonna use to attack them?
Rowan Collins: I think I am going to jump into a beast form and do a dodo panther.
Isaac Allen Burns: Okay.
Rowan Collins: And yeet myself onto the person behind him just, like, capture them
Isaac Allen Burns: Nice.
Rowan Collins: Using a takedown move.
Isaac Allen Burns: Make that roll for me.
Annie Hawthorne: Is all of us in the blind spot, or can I see the person with the knife?
Isaac Allen Burns: As you all are on the roof.
Joe Diametti: Damn it, Cyrillian. Shut the fuck up. Oh, I'm sorry. We lost the kid.
Isaac Allen Burns: So as you're looking out, the containers are blocking the view. You can only hear the little bit of shouting from there, but you know something is wrong. It is far distance from you. If you want to get up to it, it will be an agility roll.
Annie Hawthorne: Yeah. I'm going.
Isaac Allen Burns: Very good. Are you going as well, Cathy? Yeah. Very good. Can all of y'all have an agility roll as Cerulean is going to follow you?
Joe Diametti: Plus one. 22 with
Annie Hawthorne: hope. 22 with hope.
Joe Diametti: Damn. You too? What? Seriously?
Rowan Collins: And I got a 22 with fear.
Joe Diametti: No, you didn't.
Rowan Collins: Yes, I did.
Isaac Allen Burns: Awesome. Wow. 20 two's across the board. Incredible.
Isaac Allen Burns: Yeah. Right?
Isaac Allen Burns: Cerulean follows you. You see that they're pushing a bit of magic behind them in order to keep up as they are not as physically fit as the two of you. You run to how do you approach this situation? How do you get to the other side of the containers?
Joe Diametti: Parkour.
Annie Hawthorne: Yeah. I like sprint off
Rowan Collins: of Parkour parkour.
Annie Hawthorne: I sprint off of the roof, like, onto whatever ledge is between me and the containers and I go on top of the containers and then I like jump down from them.
Isaac Allen Burns: Very smart.
Joe Diametti: Yeah. I slide down the roof, do a flip off it. I have my grappling hook. I'm just, like, throwing it up to things and just, like, swinging on it Indiana Jones or Tarzan style.
Isaac Allen Burns: This is incredible because as I elucidated earlier to y'all, the cobblestones make it hard to run. But because you went on the roofs and on top of the containers Nice. You are able to get to the edge of the containers and you see what's about to happen. So you leap up, pounce on this guy.
Rowan Collins: Pounce on the guy.
Isaac Allen Burns: Yep. You pounce on him, and your teeth and claws and everything about you feel nothing but air as I spend that fear, and it is nothing but an apparition. There is a puff of smoke near the crates, and you hear yelling. As all of you are in this situation right now, there are many ways that you can approach this. Pistachio, you are in beast form.
Wally is next to you. You basically he didn't know there was anyone behind him, so you basically just leapt at him. So he's currently like on the ground looking up at you with wide eyes. There is smoke behind you. There is yelling from behind you.
Y'all pretty much see the same thing. And I wanna let y'all know right now, something's happening. But what y'all choose to do here is truly up to y'all. There are a lot of different things you can do. Clearly, there is something being loaded up onto this dock in boxes and such.
There is a boat that is just behind you with the Armada flag on it. There are clearly two sides to this fracas. You've got the individuals loading the things who look like a couple of Luvenhurst goons, And there's also some masked assailant that is here that moves almost like a specter through between them in the smoke here. There are lot of different things you can do. So I ask, we'll start with you two on top of the crates.
You have a good vantage point right now. You are above everyone and they have not noticed you as you snuck up. You rolled really well. So I open up to you two. How would you like to approach this situation?
Annie Hawthorne: I'm immediately looking for the guy that just poofed.
Isaac Allen Burns: Yeah. The guy who poofed, you can see some shapes moving within the smoke around the crates. You have a feeling that is where he is at.
Annie Hawthorne: I'm gonna go in that direction while trying to stay up off the ground and out of sight.
Isaac Allen Burns: Nice. It is still on the dark ground, so you think you have one more container to jump to before you'll have to get onto the ground to get within very close range of the smoke.
Annie Hawthorne: I'll do that, and then I'll get down, like, on the backside of the crate. Try try to be quiet about it.
Isaac Allen Burns: Okay. Okay. You know, to hide, this is a finesse check. So go ahead and give me a finesse check for me.
Annie Hawthorne: I have a plus zero.
Isaac Allen Burns: I can't wait.
Annie Hawthorne: Which which dice should I use, guys?
Isaac Allen Burns: Use the dice that don't crit all the time. How about that?
Annie Hawthorne: No. I don't think I'm gonna
Isaac Allen Burns: do that. No.
Isaac Allen Burns: No. It's it's not gonna
Annie Hawthorne: go well for me now.
Isaac Allen Burns: No. Don't do it to me.
Rowan Collins: You say that.
Isaac Allen Burns: One One of two.
Annie Hawthorne: No. 18 with fear.
Isaac Allen Burns: 18 with fear. Amazing. I have the spotlight now, and that is a fear from Craig. 18 does succeed. You get into the smoke.
The goons are in fracas right now. They do not see you. On that fear, this individual is moving through the smoke very quickly, very deftly. You see the flash of a blade. You hear a grunt and you hear a body hit the ground as one of the goons seems dead.
You hear the sound of something happening with the boxes and you hear more shouting. Wally is going to scoot away from you, Pistachio, and says, Pistachio, what the fuck are you doing? What is going on?
Rowan Collins: Wally, there was somebody behind you and you could either get on my back and I'll get you out of here, or you could tell me what's happening.
Isaac Allen Burns: Why don't you tell me what's happening? Is this some kind of adventuring business? Is this are you here infiltrating because the inventuring guild?
Rowan Collins: You I don't wanna talk about this right now, and I This
Isaac Allen Burns: is this is you just blowing up my spot. Oh my pistachio.
Rowan Collins: Yeah. Sorry, Wally. It's not time to talk about that now. Maybe we could talk at dinner. And then I kinda, like, kinda scooch under him real quick.
Isaac Allen Burns: Okay.
Rowan Collins: Like, lift him up like the cat like a cat would, like, and put him throw him on their back and then kinda, like, jump him over to, like, a safe area.
Isaac Allen Burns: He is going to resist you. Mhmm. So go ahead make a strength check.
Rowan Collins: I'm rolling so low tonight. And that is with hope, but it is a a four with hope.
Isaac Allen Burns: A four with hope is a failure. Mhmm. So go ahead and gain that hope, I am gonna spend one of your fear to have him do something. So four is pretty bad. Yep.
You are scooping him up. He is resisting you, but you are still what form are you taking? You're taking
Rowan Collins: A dodo panther.
Isaac Allen Burns: The dodo panther. Yep. You are the dodo panther. This guy has never seen you turn into a dodo, and so he's partially freaking out, partially confused, and you hear him say, why are you meddling in this? You don't understand.
And as he's on your back, you don't quite see what happened. But what you do feel is that you hear a grunt, you feel heat from behind you, and suddenly your brother feels very strong. You are shoved within close range towards the containers. Not enough to hurt you, but just a huge push. And then you hear footsteps running into the smoke.
Rowan Collins: I feel like at that point, they're gonna chase after him because now now he's deciding to make it worse. And so they're gonna go, Wally, you come back here, and then they're gonna run-in after him.
Isaac Allen Burns: Into the smoke. Cappy, you're up above watching the smoke. You saw Crank sneak on in there. You hear a body hit the ground and you see out of the corner of your eye, Pistachio and what looks like Wally run into the smoke. What are you gonna do here?
Joe Diametti: I'm looking at the smoke Mhmm. And I'm looking at the ship. I wanna get close to the ship and figure out what's inside of it.
Isaac Allen Burns: Nice. Go ahead and make an agility check. Okay. This is just to move through the crowd without disturbing the peace that's already disturbed.
Joe Diametti: So that is a 21 with fear. You do get a fear.
Isaac Allen Burns: Thank you so much. 21 will definitely get you there though. You get to the ship. You see that there's a little wooden plank leads up to it. It's a smaller ship, not a big sort of ship.
It should definitely get inside it. You see that on the surface level on the top deck, it's really just a nondescript ship. Really nothing really too much going on. And you see that the doors that would lead to the lower decks are definitely open.
Joe Diametti: I'm going in.
Isaac Allen Burns: You go in on that. 21 agility, you definitely are able to get inside there.
Joe Diametti: I I picture that I'm on a shipping container and I use my grappling hook to swing onto Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns: One of
Joe Diametti: the masks and swing onto the ship. And then, yeah, I roll into the door.
Isaac Allen Burns: Oh, you roll into the door and you find yourself in a hold. And as you look around, what do you see inside that deck?
Joe Diametti: I think I rolled into the captain's quarters.
Rowan Collins: Oh. Uh-oh.
Isaac Allen Burns: Did roll into the captain's quarters.
Annie Hawthorne: Captain is it though?
Isaac Allen Burns: The first thing you notice, this is a pretty nice captain's office. There is a table in the front, There is tables on the side, a desk in the corner, clearly sleeping arrangements. A classic captain's quarters, but it's very clean. You're like, That's curious. Because most of the time you hear Pirates of Armada, they're pretty roughhousing.
They're pretty rascally. This is very clean.
Joe Diametti: I should have been a pirate.
Isaac Allen Burns: Where do your eyes go first?
Joe Diametti: I'm looking for a chest.
Isaac Allen Burns: Looking for a chest. You see that there is a chest. As you approach it, I'm gonna go ahead and use the fear and move now. Crank to spotlight. There is another sound of boxes rustling.
You hear the sound of metal on metal. You hear another fleshy thunk when another body hits the ground. This Basically, this smoke is making it so you can only see within melee distance. You can only see something if it is right on top of you. And right now, there is the sound of a body hitting the ground, and the box in front of you is pretty much all you can see.
Pistachio, as you run into the smoke, there is the sound of the same thing that you heard earlier and you hear a voice kind of warbled and deeper that says,
Isaac Allen Burns: Pistachio, get out of here. We'll talk about this later. Leave.
Annie Hawthorne: I'm going to change tack here because I came into this smoke trying to figure out what the heck was going on. But I hear them and I immediately move to, like, get between them and whatever this thing might be and try to push both of them out of the smoke and be like, what are you guys doing? Get out of here. It's not safe.
Isaac Allen Burns: Make a strength check for me.
Annie Hawthorne: 20 with hope.
Rowan Collins: Nice.
Isaac Allen Burns: That was what you needed. You shove these two individuals out. One in the form of a panther, one in the form of a person. And as all of you leave the smoke, you're sort of shoving them out. You see Panther Dodo.
Rowan Collins: Mhmm.
Isaac Allen Burns: You see Wally. Wally's arm where that disc on his wrist is is swollen and inflamed. There are purple veins centered from where that disc is pumping into his arm. You see that his eyes, his pupils have turned purple, and my man is jacked. Like I'm talking I'm talking bench press three times his body weight.
I'm talking his clothes are starting to tear. My man is jacked, and his eyes are deadly serious. He is looking at you, and he is starting to size up because you are shoving him out of the way. And that is what you see. What would you two like to do?
Annie Hawthorne: I'm just gonna, like, kinda push Pistachio to the side and square up with Wally, and, like, shove him again in the chest.
Isaac Allen Burns: K.
Annie Hawthorne: I'm gonna be like, it's not safe. You need to go back.
Isaac Allen Burns: You step in between them. You sort of shove Wally. He looks at you, Crank, and he looks at Pistachio and says,
Joe Diametti: you are such a busybody. Why can't my business be my own business?
Rowan Collins: Because your business is the fucking mob.
Isaac Allen Burns: Wouldn't you like to know that?
Isaac Allen Burns: And then he's gonna swing at you, Crank. And that is where we're gonna end this session of Dodo Born. Thank you everybody for tuning in. If you all have a chance, go ahead and go and rate us five stars on your podcast app of choice. Really does a lot to help us out.
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