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well hello All You Beautiful

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[Music]

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People you know what time it

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is ladies and gents Guys and Dolls and

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everyone in

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between gather around get you something

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real nice to sip on and comfy to slip

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on cuz it's time for smut Club here's

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your hosts Chelsea and

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[Applause]

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[Music]

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Hannah Hello everybody and welcome to

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Smart club I'm Hannah and I'm Chelsea

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and welcome to the show where we uh two

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two therapists we're both licensed

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lpcs um who enjoy reading trashy romance

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novels and day drinking and combining

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all of those things yeah and therapizing

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characters that will never know they

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were being therapized nor they be they

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should be though a lot of them need it

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medication probably not all the time but

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every now and then I have read a book

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where I haven't finished it cuz I've

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been like go to [ __ ] therapy and I

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will close the book and I started a book

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okay I made it halfway through the

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prologue oh oh the prologue and I was

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like I am not in a place to read this

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because like it it we were warned like

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in the the thing this girl had a lot of

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mental health stuff going on and it was

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part of her journey she was very clearly

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manic like on the streets of New Orleans

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and like her best friend is this guy

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trying to like get her away from

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everybody and like trying and she's like

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she was deeply unwell and I was like I

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am not in a place to read this I was

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like I'm it's like a um a retelling of

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the fan of the of the Opera I think okay

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and I was like this is going to be super

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cool like it's going to be a super cool

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book and then I was like

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no well there was a book that I started

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and the uh body dysmorphia happening in

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the book and her relationship with food

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and her like disordered

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eating it was like triggering yeah where

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I was like I and and I don't use the

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word triggering lightly where I was like

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oh like this is bringing up like my own

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[ __ ] with my body in a way like this is

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not fun I'm not in a place no yeah I'm

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not in a place cuz I was just so I was

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like somebody get this girl some lithium

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like I was so worried about her I was

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like she's getting she's hurt like she's

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getting really hurt I can't read this I

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was like go I got an email from a former

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client that was like one of my favorite

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clients and he was like Hey I want to

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let you know like I've been on lithium

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for the last year I was like crying

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reading it was like one of those I'm

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like oh my God like yeah one of those

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clients that like you desperately knew

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might need medication not might you

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desperately knew needed medication um

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but had had such negative experiences

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and was so averse it was like you could

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maybe get like one sentence in about

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meds every sh it yeah every four

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sessions and that was like dipping the

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toe in the water yeah oh my gosh just I

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love those emails and like when clients

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are like just want you to know I'm doing

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really good I'm okay yes I'm like oh

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yeah in case you're ever wondering your

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therapist does wonder how you're doing

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afterwards we do think about you guys we

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do think about you yeah you might never

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hear from us again you might see us

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across the grocery store and not really

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make eye contact and move forward but we

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do think about you we do care yeah we

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really do okay but unrelated to any of

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that

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I'm I didn't even tell Hannah what book

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I was outlining until she got to my

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house to review today yep um so

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today we are reviewing unhinged by Vera

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Valentine an erotic door

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romance says it right on the front cover

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but

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see okay what no I just have so many

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questions about it well let you know ask

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cuz like I feel like I've seen this on

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on Tik Tok M but I haven't retained any

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of it so I'm like are we falling in love

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with the door the door is erotic is it

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that like something behind the door is

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erotic are we doing something with the

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door that's erotic with a partner I

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don't know what that would be okay do

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you

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remember what when you you grew up in

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Florida when did you leave Florida uh

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2004 okay so you had FCAT standardized

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testing 100% And the writing prompt that

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they would always give at least in the

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State of Florida about the unmarked door

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y that was always locked and one time

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it's unlocked and you open it and you

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have to write the story of what's behind

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that door yeah I imagine that was the

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problem I'm totally

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kidding no whenever I think about that I

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think about Alias it always comes back

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to Alias when they're like oh well we

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gave all these kids a standardized test

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to see like who would be a good like spy

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I always wondered why did they ask that

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question like why what was the purpose

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of it I don't

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understand I don't know I love Alias so

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much but upon rewatch it is deeply

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flawed in so many ways it doesn't hold

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up it doesn't well God love Jennifer

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Garner but like gosh well and Vance has

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never watched it really and so I tried

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to like here's the thing it doesn't hold

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like it doesn't translate and it's like

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dated enough in a way that like we

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started it and he's like yeah I guess

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the show is fine and I like you don't

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understand the magic behind it but I'm

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watching it and I'm like I don't really

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either but I feel the Magic in my soul

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cuz I've been watching it for so

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long oh God and Jennifer Gardner's a

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babe uh 100% every time yeah yeah no

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matter what wig she's

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wearing and for that one you know the

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one the wig budget for that show is

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extensive okay so to get into answering

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some of your questions yes um the door

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is sensient okay so we open this is from

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the doors perspective the whole book is

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from the doors perspective yeah okay all

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right I'm here we uh in the the door is

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in love with his tenant

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Tanya okay um um he she treats him with

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far more care than the previous frat

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Bros who lived there and we like slam

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him all the time and um direct quote he

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loves the care she takes sliding her key

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into his lock this is on the first

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page the grin you have oh my God okay

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well so the funny thing is I have

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actually not seen the Tik toks about

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this book A friend of mine uh goes oh my

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God you've heard about the door book

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right I was like the [ __ ] are you

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talking about and so she sent it to

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me and so I sent her a a photo when I

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had just first opened it on my Kindle

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and I was like starting now let's see

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how it goes and then on the very first

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page I sent her another photo and was

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like this escalated so quickly right um

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yeah cuz it's like very sensual talk

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about like feeling her like pressed

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against him when she's looking through

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his

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peephole heyo yeah yeah and like he said

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one time she pressed against him and he

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got so excited he flipped his dead

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bolt FL

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his uh-huh okay uh-huh everything's

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fine I'm just going to have more wine we

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are back on that that Bowa box [ __ ]

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we are and while we are not sponsored by

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bod box it'd be a lot cooler if we were

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especially for books of this capacity

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yeah and you know I almost feel that I

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should apologize because I used the word

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unhinged in the last review that I did

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and I I I think I used it wrong I I

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think I used it

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wrong you did

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yeah and and

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you'll okay so the door is also aware of

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uh that the property manager the

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landlord the super his name is Randall

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Randall is real creepy and right before

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Tanya moved in uh the door saw Randall

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like drag a woman like into the woods

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like behind the apart and like came back

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like alone so he's like he seems like

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Bad News Bears and Randall has also

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definitely taken an interest in Tanya

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and is like very quick to knock on her

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door and make sure everything is okay

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and like door is like I'm between

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Randall and Tanya the door loves how

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much he protects her and like he'll like

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talk about like When someone knocks on

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him and how he like holds strong in his

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frame to not give

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in he really takes his job

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seriously

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okay so the police show up um because

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this other woman is missing now and are

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asking Tanya if she knows anything or if

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she's seen anything

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um and the door is putting together he's

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like oh like she's dead and the police

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are coming up and questioning he's like

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this is just like those shows Tanya

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watches like those crime shows I he's

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like okay so Randall is a bad dude like

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that is like yeah can confirm yes the we

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in danger does not have a college

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education or any formal education if you

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will but he's watched enough Law and

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Order SVU to put the pieces together

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um but like to the point that like after

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the police stopped by to ask Tanya

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questions like Randall stops by and he

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like hey honey like uh I heard like the

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police were stopping like did you talk

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to them like it's like trying to get

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details and Tanya uh like cracks the

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door open and the door's like proud of

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her cuz he's like yeah like she realizes

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it like she's not like making your

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vulnerable yeah like it's just like a

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little inch that we can see through and

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like she's like oh yeah I did I told him

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like I didn't know anything and he's

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like okay like let me honey let me know

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if you need anything I'm like yeah

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anytime you're property manager that you

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don't know is like calling you honey

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feels yeah not great I mean I do so for

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me this is something that I've noticed

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recently about

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myself I say like hun and babe and that

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kind of stuff all the time to people

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that like co-workers or

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whatever it hits different I think

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coming from me than it would coming from

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a

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male property

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manager I mean I also think I hope but

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like to the point you were making you

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have an established relationship with

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these people that's a good point yep yep

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um I think someone that

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like at at most they gave you a tour of

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the apartment and and fixed the broken

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oven like yeah well well I mean I did it

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when I waited tables and didn't really

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know people or when I tended bar but

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that again feels different but you being

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a cute girl in the South working for

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tips thank you so much yes that's but I

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think that's a dumble standard I can

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appreciate you're like look it we will

271
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:23,920
just own it is a double standard we will

272
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:26,560
not pretend otherwise yeah Fair all

273
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:28,040
right so after the police leave um the

274
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:29,480
door's just resting I don't know it's

275
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:32,639
the middle of the night who who [ __ ]

276
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:35,040
knows Tanya has gone to bed um and a man

277
00:12:32,639 --> 00:12:36,440
walks up wearing like robes who looks

278
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:40,560
very out of

279
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:44,480
place it's Zeus it's Zeus

280
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:48,320
has Chelsea

281
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:50,839
what okay so it's Zeus Zeus is here why

282
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:52,320
why you calling me out my name talking

283
00:12:50,839 --> 00:12:56,399
about the book

284
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:59,880
Hannah it's Zeus I'm okay so Zeus shows

285
00:12:56,399 --> 00:13:00,520
up and is like hey

286
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:06,199
I'm your

287
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:10,320
[Laughter]

288
00:13:06,199 --> 00:13:13,600
dad door I'm your father what he's like

289
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:17,279
listen you're made of solid oak from my

290
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:20,320
Sacred Garden uh the exact quote that I

291
00:13:17,279 --> 00:13:22,560
have down is a lot of things happened in

292
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:25,120
that Grove and there was this perfectly

293
00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:28,760
positioned knot hole on this really sexy

294
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:31,560
tree and the Mead was flowing freely you

295
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:34,480
get the point it's literally the quote

296
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:38,000
from the book um you know that's

297
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:39,720
probably the most like um Canon thing

298
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:42,279
that they could have put in this book is

299
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:45,199
that Zeus was like listen [ __ ] happened

300
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:48,920
I [ __ ] a tree I [ __ ] a tree and now

301
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:52,680
you're half dryed like yeah so you're

302
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:57,639
welcome but and yeah I am a little sorry

303
00:13:52,680 --> 00:14:01,519
that you're a door uh so to make it up

304
00:13:57,639 --> 00:14:04,639
to you your lady love can set you free

305
00:14:01,519 --> 00:14:10,440
and he's like if she [ __ ] you in door

306
00:14:04,639 --> 00:14:12,160
form she can free you from door form so

307
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,800
straight up when we started this I was

308
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:15,199
like is this a beauty in the Beast thing

309
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:17,440
where like if she falls in love with him

310
00:14:15,199 --> 00:14:20,959
he becomes a real boy like is that

311
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:24,480
what's going to happen and I'm I

312
00:14:20,959 --> 00:14:27,240
am I wouldn't call unhinged Beauty in

313
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:29,839
the peace relling what if that's the

314
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:31,959
standard we're going off Pinocchio is

315
00:14:29,839 --> 00:14:34,199
probably more accurate cuz Pinocchio is

316
00:14:31,959 --> 00:14:36,360
made of wood but like we're going to

317
00:14:34,199 --> 00:14:37,920
become a real boy I guess that was like

318
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:39,519
what I was wondering she's just going to

319
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:41,519
live in this apartment with this door

320
00:14:39,519 --> 00:14:43,240
who secretly is lusting after her and

321
00:14:41,519 --> 00:14:44,440
she's just going to hump it from time to

322
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:48,880
time like is that how we're going to

323
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:51,839
live our lives no judgment but like some

324
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:54,839
judgment but a little judgment no

325
00:14:51,839 --> 00:14:57,000
judgment All God's Children but also

326
00:14:54,839 --> 00:14:59,600
some judgment just a little bit though

327
00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:03,959
it's like um all of like the

328
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:06,240
stills of um Dorothy on Golden Girls

329
00:15:03,959 --> 00:15:09,360
where people like who am I to judge also

330
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:12,680
me yes yes and let's here's the thing of

331
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:17,399
all of The Golden Girls and we know I'm

332
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:21,759
a golden girls girl girl yep uh if my

333
00:15:17,399 --> 00:15:24,759
Golden Girls tattoo didn't give it away

334
00:15:21,759 --> 00:15:27,680
uh I I think I always like wanted to be

335
00:15:24,759 --> 00:15:30,440
Sophia me too I'm not well I think you

336
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:32,800
are Sophia h who do you think you are I

337
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:34,880
don't know I've always wanted to be

338
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:37,240
Sophia but I've always wondered if maybe

339
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:41,720
I'm a little bit

340
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:44,880
more Dorothy or

341
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:46,600
occasionally occasionally blanch you

342
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:49,000
know

343
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:51,680
Hannah most of your relationships have

344
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:53,560
been very long-term relationships true I

345
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:55,480
don't think you're [ __ ] enough to be

346
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:58,360
blanch and that's not [ __ ] shaming

347
00:15:55,480 --> 00:16:00,560
anyone who does identify with as guess

348
00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:03,399
when I was my very active ho phase I

349
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:05,480
felt more of a blanch yeah that isir we

350
00:16:03,399 --> 00:16:06,720
can evolve we can evolve but I'm going

351
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,920
to hold on to the fact that you think

352
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:10,560
I'm Sophia I like that I mean you're

353
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:15,040
you're tiny I am

354
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:17,079
tiny like you're tiny s tiny I don't you

355
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:18,240
I've never seen you with a wicker purse

356
00:16:17,079 --> 00:16:20,560
but

357
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:22,680
like would not put it past you to have a

358
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:25,959
wicker basket on a bike that you put

359
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:27,639
your dog in I would do that yeah yeah

360
00:16:25,959 --> 00:16:29,440
which I don't I don't necessarily feel

361
00:16:27,639 --> 00:16:31,040
like that's a Sophia thing I think I'm

362
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:33,680
just really processing that you really

363
00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:36,759
are yeah um yeah and you have far too

364
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:38,839
much common sense to be Rose I do yeah

365
00:16:36,759 --> 00:16:41,600
so I'm like if you're if you're Dorothy

366
00:16:38,839 --> 00:16:44,079
or Sophia yeah I think you're Sophia

367
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:46,759
thank you yeah so are you Dorothy is

368
00:16:44,079 --> 00:16:50,120
that where you're going

369
00:16:46,759 --> 00:16:52,360
yeah see well that's the thing I

370
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:56,360
never I always thought like she was like

371
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:58,240
the tall unattractive op I mean that's

372
00:16:56,360 --> 00:17:01,040
I'm really projecting my own first of

373
00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:02,199
all be was lovely she really was lovely

374
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:05,199
she was

375
00:17:02,199 --> 00:17:07,360
lovely but I think the jokes about like

376
00:17:05,199 --> 00:17:09,640
she was tall and fassy could never get a

377
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:11,799
date maybe I was like oh is that the

378
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:15,280
part I identifi with she said oh no it's

379
00:17:11,799 --> 00:17:19,000
me and now I'm like oh I am be Arthur

380
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:20,640
but for different reason yes yes yes and

381
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:23,039
so I think that's why like it took me a

382
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:26,480
while to embrace that that was my golden

383
00:17:23,039 --> 00:17:30,240
girl yeah um because the things that I

384
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:32,480
latched on to about her were like the

385
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:35,039
shitty jokes they would make deprecating

386
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:37,440
things yeah instead of like all of like

387
00:17:35,039 --> 00:17:42,280
the really smart hilarious things that

388
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:43,320
she saidh because she was sassy hash

389
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:46,799
Justice

390
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:47,840
forb yeah yeah although apparently she

391
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:50,000
actually like didn't get along with the

392
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:51,559
rest of the cast which is like why she

393
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,400
got married in the final and they moved

394
00:17:51,559 --> 00:17:55,159
her off and that's why she wasn't on the

395
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,880
Golden Palace when they tried to do the

396
00:17:55,159 --> 00:18:00,440
spinoff I didn't know that it wasn't a

397
00:17:56,880 --> 00:18:02,120
successful that's really sad yeah

398
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:04,679
I hope it's not fully true but it might

399
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:06,880
be anyway I'm going to choose to ignore

400
00:18:04,679 --> 00:18:09,679
that right yeah we'll just ignore that

401
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:12,360
yeah um but yeah so she has to [ __ ] him

402
00:18:09,679 --> 00:18:15,000
Endor form for him to turn into a real

403
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:17,039
boy and by a real boy I mean a real man

404
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:18,880
there's no pedophilia in this book thank

405
00:18:17,039 --> 00:18:21,600
you I just needed to be abundantly clear

406
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:24,880
of all of the places this book goes okay

407
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:28,120
all right yeah um

408
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:29,640
so the is it weird that I feel oddly

409
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:31,200
better that like

410
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:33,400
where the premise of this is not that

411
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:35,760
all doors are sensient it's just this

412
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:37,480
one well and at one point he like is

413
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:39,720
explaining something she like oh my God

414
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:43,960
does my bedroom door watch me masturbate

415
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:46,760
too sort of energy he's like no I'm

416
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:49,400
solid oak that's press

417
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:51,440
board because that's the difference you

418
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:53,520
get it yeah the quality of the wood he's

419
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:55,960
solid oak from the Sacred Garden that

420
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,960
Zeus

421
00:18:56,200 --> 00:19:03,760
[ __ ] um so now we have a a goal yes we

422
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:06,080
have a goal we have a mission and uh the

423
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:08,120
door is able to like infiltrate her

424
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,440
dream and like come to her in her dream

425
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:11,120
she's having a nightmare she's like

426
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,480
naked in front of the class everyone's

427
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:16,559
laughing sort of energy and he like

428
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:19,080
takes off his shirt to put it on her um

429
00:19:16,559 --> 00:19:22,520
and introduces himself and is very proud

430
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:24,039
of being her door like he's like I've

431
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:26,280
been her protector I've been her

432
00:19:24,039 --> 00:19:29,159
guardian and like her keeper and so

433
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:32,159
she's like who are you he's like I am

434
00:19:29,159 --> 00:19:35,679
your door and I love

435
00:19:32,159 --> 00:19:37,280
you just imagine having a dream where

436
00:19:35,679 --> 00:19:39,120
you are having a nightmare that you were

437
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:42,919
naked in front of your

438
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:45,320
class and a super hot guy shows up sure

439
00:19:42,919 --> 00:19:48,440
gives you a shirt and when he introduces

440
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:51,720
himself he says I am your front door and

441
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:53,440
I love you whatever I ate before going

442
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:56,360
to bed I would never eat again she

443
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:58,400
literally says that she's like oh my God

444
00:19:56,360 --> 00:20:00,640
I can't eat those popsicles before bed

445
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:03,600
anymore

446
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:06,760
like literally I'd be like okay

447
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:09,640
so pepperoni for before bed is not for

448
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:12,760
me like that would be it I'd be like no

449
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:15,039
can't do that got to lay off the dely

450
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:16,840
meat before I told you about my banana

451
00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:19,400
nightmares right like that's a banana

452
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:20,600
nightmare yes that is a banana Nightmare

453
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,520
and you're like well I guess I don't eat

454
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:25,000
bananas before bed anymore like is what

455
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:27,400
this girl is thinking and so the door

456
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:30,240
tells her in the dream like that she's

457
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:32,559
in danger and that he needs a favor and

458
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:34,960
she like starts flirting with him cuz

459
00:20:32,559 --> 00:20:36,760
he's super hot and Dre yeah and so when

460
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:38,799
he's like I need a favor and she's like

461
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:43,039
what you need me to oil your hinges and

462
00:20:38,799 --> 00:20:45,679
he like blushes a that's cute right I'm

463
00:20:43,039 --> 00:20:48,440
like I didn't expect to find the door as

464
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:51,480
endearing as I did and I honestly felt

465
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:54,360
very conflicted as I read this book cuz

466
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:56,440
I'm really rooting for him well I love

467
00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:57,240
that that means that Vera did a good job

468
00:20:56,440 --> 00:21:00,240
she

469
00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:04,039
really I think going in and just hearing

470
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:07,520
that like the premise of this book right

471
00:21:04,039 --> 00:21:12,000
we have read and reviewed far more

472
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:16,720
outlandish [ __ ] far more dare I say

473
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:21,200
unhinged [ __ ] yeah than unhinged Fair

474
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:22,880
yes Fair um okay so he uh he blushes

475
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:25,480
when she offers to oils hinges and then

476
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:27,679
he says like that they must be together

477
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:29,799
uh for him to be able to change forms

478
00:21:27,679 --> 00:21:32,559
and protect her he's like yeah like you

479
00:21:29,799 --> 00:21:34,440
are with your vibrating blue

480
00:21:32,559 --> 00:21:36,559
stick cuz he doesn't know what a

481
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:38,880
vibrator is sure he just knows he

482
00:21:36,559 --> 00:21:40,799
doesn't have any context exactly and

483
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:43,720
that's when she asks them if all doors

484
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:46,400
are voyers right and that's when he gets

485
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:49,640
deeply offended and he says how dare you

486
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:53,240
madam um I'm not press board I'm your

487
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:53,240
protector who loves

488
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:58,760
you I see it on your face you don't want

489
00:21:56,440 --> 00:22:02,320
to find it endearing but you do I don't

490
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:08,360
you want to be Anno I hate

491
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:10,960
it I know I know okay all

492
00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:13,640
right no what were you going to say do

493
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:16,520
you have more questions

494
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:19,760
no I was thinking

495
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:21,200
that Matt and I were out to get

496
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:23,200
something to eat and we're standing in

497
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:25,679
line and we're like looking at the menu

498
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:29,200
on the wall or whatever

499
00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:30,880
and out of nowhere so the night before

500
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:33,760
we had tried something it didn't work

501
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:34,760
it's fine whatever we did something else

502
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:38,039
out of

503
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:40,400
nowhere 24 hours later while we're in a

504
00:22:38,039 --> 00:22:42,400
public space he goes oh my God babe we

505
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:45,279
need to use a pillow next time like he

506
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:49,320
turns from the menu and looks at me and

507
00:22:45,279 --> 00:22:52,080
goes babe we need to use a pillow next

508
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:53,039
time and I wanted so much to be angry

509
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:56,159
about

510
00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:59,760
it but it was so

511
00:22:56,159 --> 00:23:02,559
cute that I was like okay sweetie and

512
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:06,120
that's how I feel right now like I want

513
00:23:02,559 --> 00:23:09,200
so much to be mad and hate it but I

514
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:12,279
don't did you use a pillow next time

515
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:14,480
yeah was it better yeah I'm glad thank

516
00:23:12,279 --> 00:23:17,039
you way to problem solve

517
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:21,880
Matt just I'm trying to decide what kind

518
00:23:17,039 --> 00:23:24,240
of burrito I want and babe we need ill

519
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:24,240
next

520
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:31,640
time oh in the restaurant was full I was

521
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:37,520
[Music]

522
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:39,480
like Matt did not give a [ __ ] that that

523
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,960
rest a single one he was like I've

524
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:42,640
solved the problem I've been thinking

525
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:45,799
about this for 24 hours and I finally

526
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:49,640
got it

527
00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:51,440
incredible um okay so back back in he

528
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:55,600
tells her once again that she's in

529
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:57,480
danger right um and that Randall broke

530
00:23:55,600 --> 00:24:00,960
into her place and had like stolen a

531
00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:03,360
pair of underwear a yeah um but that he

532
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:06,760
can't protect her in door form right I

533
00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:09,000
mean any more than any other door yes

534
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:11,039
not a crossboard one but an oak one

535
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,640
solid yeah solid o no one's breaking

536
00:24:11,039 --> 00:24:14,960
through that front door right but if

537
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:17,520
they have a key it's a separate issue

538
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:19,039
right so then like she's like becoming

539
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:21,400
open to the idea and it's kind of like

540
00:24:19,039 --> 00:24:23,000
okay like what do you need me to do and

541
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,840
then he can tell she's waking up and

542
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:27,360
then he like hears her gasp from the

543
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:30,799
other room as like the dream connection

544
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:34,279
is severed M um so the next day she goes

545
00:24:30,799 --> 00:24:38,200
out to the store for whatever and uh

546
00:24:34,279 --> 00:24:42,440
Randall sneaks in and uses his master

547
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:45,159
key and uh has a pill bottle with him

548
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:47,320
and opens her orange juice and like

549
00:24:45,159 --> 00:24:49,720
dumps a bunch of pills in her orange

550
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:52,360
juice but the door is back and like he

551
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:53,600
is a door and so he cannot say like he

552
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:58,720
can't do anything he's just like

553
00:24:53,600 --> 00:25:00,799
watching this happen right uh

554
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:03,240
Tanya gets home and has been thinking

555
00:25:00,799 --> 00:25:04,919
about her dream and is like you know

556
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:08,279
it's crazy

557
00:25:04,919 --> 00:25:11,559
but why not go for it she gets some

558
00:25:08,279 --> 00:25:14,720
disinfectant make sure the knob is clean

559
00:25:11,559 --> 00:25:17,679
she puts a condom over

560
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:20,880
it to to keep her I don't know what

561
00:25:17,679 --> 00:25:25,799
diseases you think the the

562
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:28,840
door has for for easier clean up after

563
00:25:25,799 --> 00:25:31,120
yeah probably she she gets some lube she

564
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:34,559
brings the ottoman over from the living

565
00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:40,679
room so has something to prop herself up

566
00:25:34,559 --> 00:25:44,440
on okay yeah and then she [ __ ] the

567
00:25:40,679 --> 00:25:47,679
knob and has a great

568
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:49,320
orgasm your fa

569
00:25:47,679 --> 00:25:52,960
what

570
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:55,000
what he's very excited about this I'm

571
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:58,480
sure did he flip his dead bull he did

572
00:25:55,000 --> 00:26:00,360
not flip his dead bull can't why does I

573
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,399
don't know but it does make you giggle

574
00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:04,039
every

575
00:26:01,399 --> 00:26:07,559
time but I'm just thinking like that's

576
00:26:04,039 --> 00:26:10,559
so much

577
00:26:07,559 --> 00:26:13,640
preparation that's a lot of intention

578
00:26:10,559 --> 00:26:15,679
yeah yeah she didn't [ __ ] him by

579
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:18,159
accident which I guess is better than

580
00:26:15,679 --> 00:26:20,559
not well and I'll also I one of the

581
00:26:18,159 --> 00:26:22,679
things that I appreciate is she goes

582
00:26:20,559 --> 00:26:24,799
since you visited me in my nightmare and

583
00:26:22,679 --> 00:26:29,720
asked for this I'm going to take that as

584
00:26:24,799 --> 00:26:32,520
consent like and like says that

585
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:35,080
like you needed a favor and you said

586
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:36,640
this is what you needed so I'm I'm like

587
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:41,039
I love that she was

588
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:43,120
concerned about her door yeah yeah what

589
00:26:41,039 --> 00:26:45,480
are your thoughts oh well currently I'm

590
00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:46,960
thinking about a documentary I watched

591
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,399
where this woman was in love with the

592
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:52,440
Berlin

593
00:26:48,399 --> 00:26:56,600
wall that sounds fascinating yeah did

594
00:26:52,440 --> 00:27:00,120
she try and [ __ ] it um I don't know and

595
00:26:56,600 --> 00:27:03,520
what part of it would you choose to [ __ ]

596
00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:08,320
I don't know but like she was in love

597
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:10,799
with the Berlin wall and eventually like

598
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:13,640
I think she got a portion of it because

599
00:27:10,799 --> 00:27:15,840
you know the Wall came down so I if I'm

600
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:18,399
remembering right and it's been years

601
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:20,360
it's been years but like she had so she

602
00:27:18,399 --> 00:27:23,760
was in love with it when it was still

603
00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:26,960
erect that pun was not intended but it

604
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:31,159
was a great one um she was just in love

605
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:33,320
with the wall and then she I think she

606
00:27:31,159 --> 00:27:34,679
got a portion of it and like brought it

607
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,640
home it was

608
00:27:34,679 --> 00:27:38,240
like or

609
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:41,120
something

610
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:44,519
yeah but there was no discussion

611
00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:49,080
of how she engaged with it sexually just

612
00:27:44,519 --> 00:27:50,720
that she did so well this one we very

613
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:53,000
clearly know how she's engaging with it

614
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:55,559
sexually it's a lot of she of detail and

615
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:58,720
she had her vibrator in that mix as well

616
00:27:55,559 --> 00:28:00,159
oh yeah so she had a great orgasm and

617
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,919
then like leaves the room and is like

618
00:28:00,159 --> 00:28:04,679
laughing to herself about how ridiculous

619
00:28:01,919 --> 00:28:06,000
it was but then the door is like why is

620
00:28:04,679 --> 00:28:08,480
she laughing does she think this is a

621
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:10,679
joke like that was that was the best

622
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:13,480
moment of my life sort of energy from

623
00:28:10,679 --> 00:28:15,840
the door but then the door's like what

624
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:19,279
happens now and then he starts to feel

625
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:21,679
himself turn into to human form and to

626
00:28:19,279 --> 00:28:24,240
answer your question there is no door

627
00:28:21,679 --> 00:28:27,840
now she just doesn't have a front door M

628
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:28,880
thank you yes does he have a name other

629
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:31,320
than

630
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:33,519
we will get there and like yeah very

631
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:38,440
quick very valid question this whole

632
00:28:33,519 --> 00:28:40,039
time he has not had a name okay um what

633
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:42,519
door like what would it well that's what

634
00:28:40,039 --> 00:28:45,799
I was like is she moaning out door as

635
00:28:42,519 --> 00:28:48,679
she comes because okay all right right

636
00:28:45,799 --> 00:28:50,679
um I think she just like screamed I

637
00:28:48,679 --> 00:28:52,760
don't sure yeah I don't I don't think

638
00:28:50,679 --> 00:28:54,200
she really moaned a specific name in

639
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:56,960
that moment well I mean now that he's a

640
00:28:54,200 --> 00:29:01,720
human person like right well so she gets

641
00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:03,320
she comes she orgasmed on the door uh

642
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:04,679
and then went to shower and then when

643
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,559
she comes out of the shower wrapped in

644
00:29:04,679 --> 00:29:08,320
her towel there's this like naked man

645
00:29:06,559 --> 00:29:09,679
standing there who's very attractive and

646
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:15,120
she's like what the [ __ ] are you doing

647
00:29:09,679 --> 00:29:18,679
get out and he's like I'm your door it's

648
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:21,799
[Laughter]

649
00:29:18,679 --> 00:29:25,039
me like I feel like she accepts it very

650
00:29:21,799 --> 00:29:29,360
quickly yeah more quickly than I would

651
00:29:25,039 --> 00:29:32,080
probably be able to um

652
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:33,360
and I just really thought that was so

653
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:36,080
she's like who the [ __ ] are you he's

654
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:38,279
like duh obviously I'm your door I'm

655
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:40,320
your door like did you miss everything I

656
00:29:38,279 --> 00:29:42,760
was telling you I'm trying to

657
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:44,519
communicate and she's like this is wild

658
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:47,640
I'm going to make myself a mimosa so she

659
00:29:44,519 --> 00:29:49,320
goes to like start getting supplies but

660
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:50,880
he's also not used to his body so she

661
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:53,159
goes to take a sip of the orange juice

662
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:55,440
and he just like knocks it out of her

663
00:29:53,159 --> 00:29:56,880
hand it's like [ __ ] slaps the orange

664
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,840
juice and she oh right cuz she can't

665
00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:01,399
have the orange juice but she doesn't

666
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:04,919
know that so she's like the [ __ ] man

667
00:30:01,399 --> 00:30:06,559
like who who are you what is it I [ __ ]

668
00:30:04,919 --> 00:30:08,840
my door and now I can't have orange

669
00:30:06,559 --> 00:30:10,279
juice and he's like no my electricity

670
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:13,080
bill is going to be through the [ __ ]

671
00:30:10,279 --> 00:30:16,000
roof because I don't have a door you're

672
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:18,399
letting all the air

673
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:20,919
out why couldn't you have done this in

674
00:30:18,399 --> 00:30:20,919
early

675
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:25,799
spring why did you wait so long to make

676
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:29,960
yourself

677
00:30:25,799 --> 00:30:29,960
known do you not know about

678
00:30:33,679 --> 00:30:40,799
warming oh my God

679
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:42,399
okay so he [ __ ] slaps the orange juice

680
00:30:40,799 --> 00:30:44,960
out of her hand and then they like leave

681
00:30:42,399 --> 00:30:46,240
it everywhere because it's evidence

682
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,440
they're like we need to call the police

683
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:50,000
but they're like well before we can call

684
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:51,360
the police you probably need a new front

685
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:54,600
door cuz that's going to be hard to

686
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:57,320
explain right and then they realize that

687
00:30:54,600 --> 00:31:00,120
uh he goes we we found that the app you

688
00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:02,120
can use to order food can also be linked

689
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:04,519
to the hardware store so they just like

690
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:10,880
Uber Eats

691
00:31:04,519 --> 00:31:12,480
thems an a door a door from Home

692
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:15,600
Depot

693
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:17,159
resourceful yeah so while they're

694
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:18,919
waiting for the door to be delivered

695
00:31:17,159 --> 00:31:20,679
they get a text that it's going to be an

696
00:31:18,919 --> 00:31:23,159
hour delay they sit down to watch a

697
00:31:20,679 --> 00:31:25,799
movie and as they're cuddled up that's

698
00:31:23,159 --> 00:31:28,840
when uh she asks if he has a name and

699
00:31:25,799 --> 00:31:30,840
then he remembers that uh there was a

700
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:32,880
celebrity she was talking to a friend

701
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:36,440
about Idris

702
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:39,760
Elba and so he uh he decides on dris

703
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:43,720
instead of Idris so his his name is dris

704
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:43,720
because she knows he finds Idris Elba

705
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:51,279
attractive rightly so the

706
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:53,519
man ain't no slouch he can do no wrong

707
00:31:51,279 --> 00:31:53,519
but

708
00:31:55,080 --> 00:32:00,639
also that's a bold move like what a name

709
00:31:58,679 --> 00:32:02,960
to live up to is part of the

710
00:32:00,639 --> 00:32:06,279
issue you know

711
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:08,760
touche yeah it's like naming your kid

712
00:32:06,279 --> 00:32:12,440
after a major celebrity and then being

713
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:15,840
like oh whoops

714
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:18,159
like like or or like a a saint or

715
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:20,880
somebody from the Bible that's like a

716
00:32:18,159 --> 00:32:22,559
big deal and like well he didn't turn

717
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:25,960
out but you

718
00:32:22,559 --> 00:32:29,200
know he didn't turn

719
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:31,600
out I know we named him after one of the

720
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:34,880
Minor Prophets from the Old Testament

721
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:37,639
but this has not panned out how we

722
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:40,840
hoped he didn't quite live up to his

723
00:32:37,639 --> 00:32:43,919
namesake although In fairness I am named

724
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:46,480
after one of the mothers of one of those

725
00:32:43,919 --> 00:32:50,240
prophets I don't know that I've lived up

726
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:50,240
but that's okay in a different

727
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:57,679
way I was just thinking about you know

728
00:32:59,159 --> 00:33:05,200
what you couldn't even get it no because

729
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:07,360
I don't know if I've lived up to it and

730
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:09,159
I was thinking about how most people in

731
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:12,120
the Bible are Jews and your nose is

732
00:33:09,159 --> 00:33:14,159
really je so like I don't know if I

733
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:17,360
lived up to it my first thought was I

734
00:33:14,159 --> 00:33:20,279
mean your your nose

735
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:24,000
has because I have a slightly hebraic

736
00:33:20,279 --> 00:33:27,000
nose that's what we're going with oh my

737
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:27,000
God

738
00:33:27,660 --> 00:33:32,000
[Music]

739
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:35,120
and then I was like oh my God Chelsea

740
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:38,440
don't say that but then I did CU I've

741
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:40,399
had enough wine that I am because I love

742
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:42,279
you and know it's a safe space it is a

743
00:33:40,399 --> 00:33:43,760
safe space that was awesome that you

744
00:33:42,279 --> 00:33:47,080
would think it was hilarious and not

745
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:47,080
offensive that was

746
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:53,600
awesome oh my God

747
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:56,399
okay Les we forget when your husband

748
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:58,240
told a coworker that he started dating

749
00:33:56,399 --> 00:34:01,559
you Hannah

750
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:01,559
but isn't she Jewish

751
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:07,240
Jewish why would you think that my

752
00:34:04,799 --> 00:34:10,440
friend

753
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:13,119
uh you have a great nose thank you it

754
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:15,639
has personality it does it has a great

755
00:34:13,119 --> 00:34:19,320
personality thank you yes it has the

756
00:34:15,639 --> 00:34:22,000
correct personality for your

757
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:23,800
face well like that was such a weird

758
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:27,240
sentence but no like when I look at you

759
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:28,359
I'm like your nose fits your face so

760
00:34:27,240 --> 00:34:31,879
like

761
00:34:28,359 --> 00:34:33,679
yeah like I've never looked at your face

762
00:34:31,879 --> 00:34:35,399
and like it should have a different nose

763
00:34:33,679 --> 00:34:37,679
and I have thought that about some

764
00:34:35,399 --> 00:34:38,879
people where you're like huh and then

765
00:34:37,679 --> 00:34:40,879
normally you find out like those people

766
00:34:38,879 --> 00:34:42,679
got a botch nose job so that's why

767
00:34:40,879 --> 00:34:45,280
because you're like oh they should have

768
00:34:42,679 --> 00:34:47,679
the nose their face came

769
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:50,320
with they should have their factory

770
00:34:47,679 --> 00:34:53,760
default nose factory

771
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:59,160
default go back to is there a reset

772
00:34:53,760 --> 00:35:00,480
button just get the OG nose back

773
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:04,760
okay so the

774
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:07,640
door uh the new door not dris the door

775
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:10,760
right uh the new door gets delivered

776
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:13,000
while Tanya has fallen asleep on dris

777
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:15,040
and so he gets up off the couch and like

778
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:18,839
installs it for her to make sure that

779
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:20,359
she's safe uh and like the Randall the

780
00:35:18,839 --> 00:35:21,880
property manager texts her and like hey

781
00:35:20,359 --> 00:35:24,000
honey heard you got a large package

782
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:26,240
delivered need any help I'm great at

783
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:29,880
moving large packages like winky face

784
00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:32,119
like that level of like ew not subtle

785
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:33,920
sexual harassment by any stretch like

786
00:35:32,119 --> 00:35:36,599
I'm like bro you

787
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:39,000
know she takes a screenshot in that text

788
00:35:36,599 --> 00:35:42,800
is evidence like that's not going to go

789
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:44,960
well for you that's major ick yes um but

790
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:47,720
also funny because as dris is installing

791
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:51,119
the new door he's like I chose one that

792
00:35:47,720 --> 00:35:53,520
had uh like a longer handle and

793
00:35:51,119 --> 00:35:55,640
intentionally like steered her away from

794
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:58,119
the ones that had similar shapes to my

795
00:35:55,640 --> 00:36:01,560
natural knob

796
00:35:58,119 --> 00:36:03,280
cuz he was jealous my natural knob his

797
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:07,599
natural

798
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:11,440
knob okay

799
00:36:07,599 --> 00:36:13,079
uh yep his natural knob also dris tells

800
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:14,599
Tanya that like the property men when

801
00:36:13,079 --> 00:36:17,079
she gets the text he's like oh yeah just

802
00:36:14,599 --> 00:36:18,640
let you know like if he hears your TV on

803
00:36:17,079 --> 00:36:20,520
he'll watch you through your window and

804
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:22,359
she's like the [ __ ] and he's like I've

805
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:24,760
been your door couldn't really say

806
00:36:22,359 --> 00:36:27,000
anything right but you might want to

807
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:29,560
know now yeah yeah yeah yeah Tanya and

808
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:31,720
dris end up going to the store because

809
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:34,440
he has no clothes she gave him a pair of

810
00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:36,560
like her ex's sweatpants is the the

811
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:39,599
energy so she takes them to the store

812
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:42,000
he's so hot women are crashing their

813
00:36:39,599 --> 00:36:44,920
carts watching him walk through the

814
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:46,119
store do you remember that photo of

815
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:48,640
Idris

816
00:36:46,119 --> 00:36:51,720
Elba in the

817
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:54,400
slacks it went around the internet yes

818
00:36:51,720 --> 00:36:55,960
for a minute and finally he responded

819
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:58,640
and he was like you guys that is

820
00:36:55,960 --> 00:37:02,319
literally

821
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:05,599
the the wire from my mic everybody

822
00:37:02,319 --> 00:37:08,640
calmed down I remember the photo I don't

823
00:37:05,599 --> 00:37:11,680
think I ever saw his response yes

824
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:14,720
incredible like please stop it's the

825
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:18,680
wire from my mic thank you for giving me

826
00:37:14,720 --> 00:37:21,480
that much credit it's the wire from my

827
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:24,280
mic yeah he had like taken his mic off

828
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:26,000
and like tucked it and so it like went

829
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:27,680
down and looked that's what he said

830
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,960
anyway

831
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:32,960
was he being truthful or was he just

832
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:35,839
sick of being sexually harassed who can

833
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:38,319
say listen probably both probably both

834
00:37:35,839 --> 00:37:41,640
you did what you needed to do Idris so

835
00:37:38,319 --> 00:37:43,319
dris in the book uh he like goes to kiss

836
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:45,400
Tanya in the store and he's like oh my

837
00:37:43,319 --> 00:37:47,520
gosh like I don't know like she like she

838
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:49,160
kissed me as a door but like she didn't

839
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:50,200
consent to this so he like starts to be

840
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:53,400
like oh my gosh I like shouldn't have

841
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:55,599
kissed her and then uh much like your

842
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:57,880
husband in a public setting T just goes

843
00:37:55,599 --> 00:38:00,640
your knob was buried in my [ __ ] hours

844
00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:02,839
ago like I think it's okay for you to

845
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:04,560
kiss and then like a woman like crashes

846
00:38:02,839 --> 00:38:07,520
the card and she's like that's what you

847
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:09,319
get for being nosy Stop East

848
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:12,520
dropping I'm like I don't know if it's

849
00:38:09,319 --> 00:38:15,720
really East dropping if you shout it in

850
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:17,200
a store yeah if you're saying it loudly

851
00:38:15,720 --> 00:38:18,680
in a public setting I don't think you

852
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:23,599
can get annoyed with people for being

853
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:26,920
nosy but maybe that's just me um they

854
00:38:23,599 --> 00:38:28,440
get back to her place oh i' so yeah the

855
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:30,520
property manager tried to steal

856
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:33,040
underwear twice okay the first time he

857
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:34,400
was actually successful the second time

858
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:36,079
oh it was when he went into drug the

859
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:37,359
orange juice he went to steal another

860
00:38:36,079 --> 00:38:40,800
pair of underwear but then it fell out

861
00:38:37,359 --> 00:38:44,160
of his pocket so when Tanya got home she

862
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:45,560
was like oh that's weird yeah yeah um

863
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:49,480
and for some

864
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:50,839
reason that comes up now in conversation

865
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:52,319
but then Tanya's like you know I always

866
00:38:50,839 --> 00:38:54,720
thought there was like every now and

867
00:38:52,319 --> 00:38:57,000
then i' I'd smell this like lingering

868
00:38:54,720 --> 00:38:58,720
smoke smell in my room but just thought

869
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:00,319
like it was the ventilation or something

870
00:38:58,720 --> 00:39:01,680
so dris is like let me get the cleaning

871
00:39:00,319 --> 00:39:03,440
supplies let me clean your headboard let

872
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:06,400
me clean like your your bedroom like get

873
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:08,440
rid of the smell for you um which she's

874
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:09,359
all about so she starts giving him a

875
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:13,200
hand

876
00:39:09,359 --> 00:39:14,920
job he there's a praise Kink he's very

877
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:17,720
that they're very into she's the one

878
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:19,720
praising him for being a good door she's

879
00:39:17,720 --> 00:39:22,680
like you're such a good door you

880
00:39:19,720 --> 00:39:24,720
protected me so well yeah he's very into

881
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:27,200
the praise did she wait until after he

882
00:39:24,720 --> 00:39:30,040
was done cleaning to do the handy or

883
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:31,480
what like while he was cleaning and then

884
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:32,839
just kind of like distracted him and

885
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:35,760
stopped him from the rest of the

886
00:39:32,839 --> 00:39:38,520
cleaning by sure giving him a hand job

887
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:41,000
well she timed that poorly I'm like let

888
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:43,200
him finish right

889
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:46,040
literally I'm like the man is doing

890
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:49,160
house work let him be let him finish and

891
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:51,800
then let him finish correct you get it

892
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:53,160
but not at the same time yeah I'd like

893
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:57,680
to make sure those counters are clean

894
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:57,680
you know we don't want to miss a spot

895
00:40:01,599 --> 00:40:05,720
there is uh some cuddling and some

896
00:40:03,359 --> 00:40:08,760
pillow talk and then the property

897
00:40:05,720 --> 00:40:11,520
manager starts like banging on the

898
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:13,880
door and T just goes to open it and

899
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:15,520
answer it as like dris is kind of like

900
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:18,079
hey wait like maybe this isn't like the

901
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:20,720
best idea the property manager is like

902
00:40:18,079 --> 00:40:22,880
clearly under the use of some

903
00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:25,359
substances um and is accusing her of

904
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:27,560
calling the police because they have are

905
00:40:25,359 --> 00:40:30,440
now like at his place and like

906
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:35,079
investigating and he's blaming her and

907
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:38,440
he pulls a gun oh uh and a scuffle

908
00:40:35,079 --> 00:40:41,599
ensues Tanya like dris like goes for the

909
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:43,839
dude uh Tanya breaks a vase over his

910
00:40:41,599 --> 00:40:46,160
head but it doesn't like knock him out

911
00:40:43,839 --> 00:40:48,640
and then the gun goes off and he shot

912
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:50,640
dris and dris feels himself like

913
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:51,839
stiffening back up and like turning back

914
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:55,160
into a

915
00:40:51,839 --> 00:40:57,319
door and then he just falls on Randall

916
00:40:55,160 --> 00:41:01,000
and as a door as and like loses

917
00:40:57,319 --> 00:41:04,480
Consciousness yeah oh

918
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,480
um months

919
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:11,119
later

920
00:41:07,359 --> 00:41:15,440
yeah months later dris is starting to

921
00:41:11,119 --> 00:41:18,520
come too uh as he's like feeling Tanya

922
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:21,800
like put a condom over his knob

923
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:23,640
again uh and he's like oh this feels

924
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:25,119
good and he starts to shift back into

925
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:28,000
being a

926
00:41:25,119 --> 00:41:29,800
human and then like immediately asks if

927
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,480
like he did a good job protecting her

928
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:33,760
like I'm like oh wow like you have

929
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:36,359
you've been down for months well he

930
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:38,440
wouldn't know that necessarily yeah well

931
00:41:36,359 --> 00:41:42,200
and so we find out he's been in evidence

932
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:43,880
this whole time uh but Tanya was real

933
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:47,000
upset about how all of this played down

934
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:49,240
and then Hera came to visit

935
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:52,240
her and

936
00:41:49,240 --> 00:41:52,240
Hara

937
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:58,280
uh was I I guess trying to make up for

938
00:41:55,440 --> 00:42:02,760
Zeus's shittiness and give them a chance

939
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:07,119
and so uh tells T Hara tells Tanya that

940
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:09,040
dris can remain human moving forward um

941
00:42:07,119 --> 00:42:09,839
but he will change back to a door at the

942
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:13,480
full

943
00:42:09,839 --> 00:42:15,319
moon and uh so she'll need to [ __ ] him

944
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:18,280
in door form like on the full moon each

945
00:42:15,319 --> 00:42:21,200
year or each month to get him to keep

946
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:23,839
him in his human form um but it took

947
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:25,720
Tanya so long because he had been in

948
00:42:23,839 --> 00:42:29,760
evidence and so she was like trying to

949
00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:33,599
figure out how to get her back um she

950
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:33,599
fixed the bullet holes with some wood

951
00:42:33,720 --> 00:42:38,920
putty I just really wanted to see your

952
00:42:36,599 --> 00:42:42,520
face when I said

953
00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:46,520
that just a long slow blink and a

954
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:49,599
Grimace is what we got there mhm um and

955
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:53,760
then like oh then Zeus had showed up the

956
00:42:49,599 --> 00:42:56,040
day before and dropped off uh like an ID

957
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:57,760
that had like dr's name on it and like a

958
00:42:56,040 --> 00:43:02,079
Greek birth certificate

959
00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:03,440
so he's now he's legal yeah he's legal

960
00:43:02,079 --> 00:43:05,280
and now they can be

961
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:08,160
together the

962
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:09,480
end that's the whole book what happened

963
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:13,200
to

964
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:15,200
Randall oh he didn't die when homeboy

965
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:17,559
fell in him so I think he's in jail I

966
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:21,480
don't know they caught him that's the

967
00:43:17,559 --> 00:43:23,480
point okay all right do the specifics of

968
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,839
what happened to to Randall matter she's

969
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:27,359
going to live happily ever after with

970
00:43:24,839 --> 00:43:29,680
her door as an avid listener of True

971
00:43:27,359 --> 00:43:30,440
Crime and Watcher of Law and Order yes

972
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:32,920
it

973
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:36,000
matters it matters oh my God have you

974
00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:37,440
watched resident alien did he die I

975
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:40,200
think we thought he died and then he

976
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:42,680
didn't die but he was injured I don't

977
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:45,440
know I started resident alien because I

978
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:47,640
love Alan tck same um but I feel like I

979
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:50,240
was distracted I think I only made it

980
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:52,200
through the pilot do I need to go back

981
00:43:50,240 --> 00:43:54,200
um I have enjoyed it I just finished the

982
00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:56,119
first season okay but the reason I

983
00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:58,640
thought of it is because he like learns

984
00:43:56,119 --> 00:44:01,240
how to speak by watching Law and Order

985
00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:04,240
and so he just randomly throughout the

986
00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:05,960
first season will go Kung Kong like just

987
00:44:04,240 --> 00:44:11,040
out of

988
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:13,640
nowhere it's so good it's so good yeah I

989
00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:15,640
I I just love Allan to so literally what

990
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:19,359
did I to say I was like the man can do

991
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:20,800
no wrong in my my book yeah I've adored

992
00:44:19,359 --> 00:44:25,720
him

993
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:29,400
since he was Steve the pirate yes um on

994
00:44:25,720 --> 00:44:32,680
a dollhous when he was the villain and

995
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:37,160
he was so dark and he was so good he was

996
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:40,520
so good on that oh Firefly yes oh my go

997
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:45,359
just and he does so many Disney voices

998
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:47,960
yes like cartoons and characters that

999
00:44:45,359 --> 00:44:50,359
yeah and Nathan fillian shows up in

1000
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:52,520
Resident alien as well oh that's fun as

1001
00:44:50,359 --> 00:44:55,000
a voiceover it's very funny actually

1002
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:58,079
yeah I always liked the Firefly

1003
00:44:55,000 --> 00:45:00,839
references um on Castle back in the day

1004
00:44:58,079 --> 00:45:05,040
yeah like a space cowboy for Halloween

1005
00:45:00,839 --> 00:45:08,200
what what's that yeah yeah um okay is

1006
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:12,079
our rating skill knobs yeah I was going

1007
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:14,839
to say doors solid oak doors or uh door

1008
00:45:12,079 --> 00:45:16,720
knobs rounded ones for obvious reasons

1009
00:45:14,839 --> 00:45:19,440
so literally I've been thinking about

1010
00:45:16,720 --> 00:45:22,960
like what's the shape of this knob

1011
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:24,760
because your door does not have a

1012
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:27,440
[ __ ]

1013
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:29,720
knob yeah but mine isn't cient so it's

1014
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:32,559
fine right never tried to [ __ ] mine

1015
00:45:29,720 --> 00:45:35,200
Hannah it's a non-issue I wouldn't [ __ ]

1016
00:45:32,559 --> 00:45:35,200
my door

1017
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:41,160
knob oh my gosh is that everyone's

1018
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,599
takeaway they're just going to like get

1019
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:45,079
home and look at their door knob and be

1020
00:45:42,599 --> 00:45:47,400
like could I [ __ ] that would I [ __ ] that

1021
00:45:45,079 --> 00:45:50,359
is that the shape I was just thinking

1022
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:52,559
like that's not a shape that is

1023
00:45:50,359 --> 00:45:54,800
[ __ ] well and I think that's like

1024
00:45:52,559 --> 00:45:57,400
what he tried to steer her to for her

1025
00:45:54,800 --> 00:46:00,640
replacement door was a less [ __ ] door

1026
00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:03,359
fck door knob well and then like do you

1027
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:06,359
have you ever seen the crystal door

1028
00:46:03,359 --> 00:46:08,000
knobs yes yeah they were all over my

1029
00:46:06,359 --> 00:46:10,280
great-grandmother's house they're

1030
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:11,599
beautiful they're gorgeous I thought of

1031
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:15,760
those as well like I was like is it like

1032
00:46:11,599 --> 00:46:20,240
a beautiful vintage antique crystal door

1033
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:22,880
knob yes which notably there are a lot

1034
00:46:20,240 --> 00:46:27,119
of sex toys that look similar to like

1035
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:29,480
vintage correct doorknobs yeah yeah so

1036
00:46:27,119 --> 00:46:31,280
that was kind of where my head had

1037
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:33,319
landed was like was like a crystal door

1038
00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:36,880
knob yeah was I was like it's not just

1039
00:46:33,319 --> 00:46:40,079
like a standard lock that you can get at

1040
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:42,480
any yeah Home Depot this might be

1041
00:46:40,079 --> 00:46:43,680
ruining parts of my childhood continue

1042
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:44,920
I'm sorry are you now thinking of

1043
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,599
[ __ ] different parts of your

1044
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:48,240
grandmother's home well I'm thinking of

1045
00:46:46,599 --> 00:46:50,720
other people [ __ ] different parts of

1046
00:46:48,240 --> 00:46:54,520
my grandmother's home why we don't own

1047
00:46:50,720 --> 00:46:54,520
it anymore I don't know who's in

1048
00:46:55,079 --> 00:47:00,559
there no I

1049
00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:02,640
not why are those the people you're

1050
00:47:00,559 --> 00:47:05,720
thinking of why are you thinking of

1051
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:08,200
other people why are you thinking of

1052
00:47:05,720 --> 00:47:10,920
story that was this old story I got to

1053
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:13,720
say I read this book and no part of me

1054
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:16,079
was like I should have imagine people

1055
00:47:13,720 --> 00:47:17,839
[ __ ] different types of locks outside

1056
00:47:16,079 --> 00:47:20,920
of this book think that I should think

1057
00:47:17,839 --> 00:47:22,040
of it I didn't look at my husband and go

1058
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:24,040
you spend a lot of time with your

1059
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:27,480
grandparents as a

1060
00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:30,079
kid what kind of doorknobs did they have

1061
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:30,079
I didn't

1062
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:36,960
Wonder no part of me had any questions

1063
00:47:34,119 --> 00:47:41,520
about it this episode is

1064
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:43,400
unhinged okay door knobs of doorknobs in

1065
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:44,640
the shape of your choosing let's say

1066
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:46,839
yeah

1067
00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:51,000
listen

1068
00:47:46,839 --> 00:47:54,079
doorknobs period no

1069
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:56,400
comma if if you want to Envision a

1070
00:47:54,079 --> 00:47:59,040
[ __ ] doorknob that is your choice do

1071
00:47:56,400 --> 00:48:01,000
not bring bring me into that we are

1072
00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:04,680
going with doorknobs full

1073
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:04,680
stop yep how many

1074
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:12,880
doorknobs

1075
00:48:07,839 --> 00:48:15,720
um 30 okay I don't know just the number

1076
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:18,640
felt right in my heart okay out of 30

1077
00:48:15,720 --> 00:48:18,640
door knobs

1078
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:23,640
uhhuh

1079
00:48:24,119 --> 00:48:29,640
14 okay 12 to 14

1080
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:33,400
doorknobs

1081
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:36,000
okay feels like quite

1082
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:38,119
frankly for how this book had initially

1083
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:40,839
been described and I know I said it

1084
00:48:38,119 --> 00:48:43,800
earlier it was a far like cuter more

1085
00:48:40,839 --> 00:48:45,760
endearing read than I anticipated at any

1086
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:48,200
point there's more plot than I thought

1087
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:51,079
there would be yes there's a lot of like

1088
00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:54,160
sensual I love feeling her around my

1089
00:48:51,079 --> 00:48:58,240
Keyhole sort of energy but like sure

1090
00:48:54,160 --> 00:49:00,319
yeah it's an erotic door Romance

1091
00:48:58,240 --> 00:49:03,200
duh what do you

1092
00:49:00,319 --> 00:49:06,119
expect not that I've read others I just

1093
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:09,839
assume I was like what did you

1094
00:49:06,119 --> 00:49:13,440
expect not this much plot yeah it was

1095
00:49:09,839 --> 00:49:16,880
like same it was and I honestly found

1096
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:19,880
him very endearing he like truly loved

1097
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:23,079
her and wanted to protect her in a way

1098
00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:25,960
that like and he he wasn't ashamed of

1099
00:49:23,079 --> 00:49:27,400
being her door it sounded like he was

1100
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:29,160
proud of it because he was like between

1101
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:30,920
her and the world yeah he's like I'm her

1102
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:32,960
protector and he's like I'm your door

1103
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:35,920
and I'm your protector and I love you

1104
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:37,400
and I'm like I really I don't know what

1105
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:40,480
I thought when I heard a woman was going

1106
00:49:37,400 --> 00:49:42,839
to fall in love with her front door but

1107
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:47,839
like I guess I thought that the door

1108
00:49:42,839 --> 00:49:51,400
wouldn't love her back like not that he

1109
00:49:47,839 --> 00:49:53,200
would unrequited love with your front

1110
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:54,200
door well right when someone's like oh

1111
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,960
did you read the book about the woman

1112
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:57,200
who fell in love with her front door and

1113
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:59,040
like you don't know that door is

1114
00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:00,680
sensient and has been communicating with

1115
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:03,960
her and turn like you know like that is

1116
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:07,599
a different experience you heard about

1117
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:10,799
the book about the werewolf shifter Who

1118
00:50:07,599 --> 00:50:10,799
falls in love with a potato

1119
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:17,799
shifter can't say that I have potato

1120
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:22,000
shifter I didn't know that was a choice

1121
00:50:17,799 --> 00:50:24,160
I saw it on Tik Tok potato shifter I've

1122
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:26,880
never heard of a vegetable shifter

1123
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:29,920
before either

1124
00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:31,520
and you know I'm a [ __ ] for potatoes I

1125
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:35,839
know you

1126
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:38,680
are but the PO potato does love the wolf

1127
00:50:35,839 --> 00:50:40,880
back according to the Tik Tok does he

1128
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:43,839
suck it as a potato I don't think is it

1129
00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:46,559
twice baked I think that somebody does

1130
00:50:43,839 --> 00:50:48,480
eat it I don't remember I saw it on a

1131
00:50:46,559 --> 00:50:51,319
Tik Tok yeah they ate it that's the

1132
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:55,160
point of a smut

1133
00:50:51,319 --> 00:50:58,359
book I'm going have to find it 12 to 14

1134
00:50:55,160 --> 00:51:01,839
12 to 12 12 door knobs yeah 12 door

1135
00:50:58,359 --> 00:51:04,599
knobs feels right it I went in with

1136
00:51:01,839 --> 00:51:07,319
quite literally the lowest of

1137
00:51:04,599 --> 00:51:10,319
expectations yeah and was very

1138
00:51:07,319 --> 00:51:14,040
pleasantly surprised by like what an

1139
00:51:10,319 --> 00:51:16,680
endearing read it was it's also like

1140
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:19,160
less than 100 pages right like it is a

1141
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:20,880
very quick well and I'm thinking too if

1142
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:23,359
it was like fleshed out a little bit

1143
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:26,119
more I could see it

1144
00:51:23,359 --> 00:51:27,680
being like getting better but honestly

1145
00:51:26,119 --> 00:51:30,160
here's the thing I don't know if it

1146
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:31,319
needs to be flushed out more fair like

1147
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:34,559
as I read through it I was like I feel

1148
00:51:31,319 --> 00:51:36,760
like this is what it needed to be like

1149
00:51:34,559 --> 00:51:39,880
we didn't over complicate it we didn't

1150
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:42,280
ask too many questions we met

1151
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:44,359
expectations dare I say we exceeded them

1152
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:47,680
because my expectations were so low so

1153
00:51:44,359 --> 00:51:50,640
thanks ver Valentine that was a far more

1154
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:53,280
enjoyable Journey yeah than I expected

1155
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:55,599
um let us know how many knobs you would

1156
00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:57,480
rate this if uh you would choose a

1157
00:51:55,599 --> 00:51:59,119
different not a different knob shape we

1158
00:51:57,480 --> 00:52:01,359
said choose your own knob shape I'm not

1159
00:51:59,119 --> 00:52:03,960
choosing a knob shap your own adventure

1160
00:52:01,359 --> 00:52:07,640
with your knob shape yeah choose a knob

1161
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:08,640
shape tell us how many knobs you'd give

1162
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:11,079
the book we don't need to know about

1163
00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:14,160
your knob shape that is between you and

1164
00:52:11,079 --> 00:52:14,160
the Lord knob

1165
00:52:14,559 --> 00:52:19,400
Goblin I'm so

1166
00:52:18,260 --> 00:52:22,240
[Music]

1167
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:24,240
sorry I've been thinking knob Goblin

1168
00:52:22,240 --> 00:52:27,000
this whole time and I haven't said it

1169
00:52:24,240 --> 00:52:31,160
you've been sitting on knob Goblin this

1170
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:35,760
whole time not no yep

1171
00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:39,400
mhm my nickname in high school hey not

1172
00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:41,040
at all literally not at all woo probably

1173
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:43,319
the opposite of my nickname in high

1174
00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:46,960
school my nickname in high school is

1175
00:52:43,319 --> 00:52:49,319
probably chasti belt or something more

1176
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:51,720
is that mine was fun-sized cuz I was

1177
00:52:49,319 --> 00:52:54,480
smaller than I am now see

1178
00:52:51,720 --> 00:52:56,799
sopia nailed it you did I knew we got

1179
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:58,280
the right Golden Girl for you and we've

1180
00:52:56,799 --> 00:53:01,000
made it full circle and we've made it

1181
00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:03,240
full circle all right like subscribe

1182
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:06,559
yeah like subscribe tell us what Golden

1183
00:53:03,240 --> 00:53:08,920
Girl you identify as [ __ ] your your

1184
00:53:06,559 --> 00:53:12,040
Harry Potter house your hogwart's house

1185
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:14,480
we do not care we care about The Golden

1186
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:17,079
Girls I have a lot of golden girl [ __ ]

1187
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:19,839
in my house yeah you do dare I say if

1188
00:53:17,079 --> 00:53:21,640
anyone givs me any more Golden Girl [ __ ]

1189
00:53:19,839 --> 00:53:24,040
it'll put me over the edge in a way

1190
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:28,119
where I'm like I love them but not where

1191
00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:30,839
my house is a gallery huh for them sure

1192
00:53:28,119 --> 00:53:33,040
um and I do feel like we've gotten

1193
00:53:30,839 --> 00:53:34,799
gifted enough things over time that

1194
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:38,000
we've we've started encroaching on that

1195
00:53:34,799 --> 00:53:41,119
territory noted but your house has some

1196
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:44,440
very specific themes as well yeah

1197
00:53:41,119 --> 00:53:46,079
primarily horror movies and Pennywise

1198
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:48,960
the

1199
00:53:46,079 --> 00:53:50,319
Clown yeah yeah you you probably have

1200
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:53,240
more Pennywise stuff in your house than

1201
00:53:50,319 --> 00:53:55,559
we do of The Golden Girls probably yeah

1202
00:53:53,240 --> 00:53:57,839
yeah that's a fair assessment all right

1203
00:53:55,559 --> 00:54:00,200
um as Hannah said don't forget to like

1204
00:53:57,839 --> 00:54:02,880
And subscribe let us know you're Golden

1205
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:04,440
Girl let us know how many knobs you

1206
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:06,280
would rate this book keep the shape of

1207
00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:08,400
the knob to yourself but outside of that

1208
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:10,559
we'd love to hear all the thoughts and

1209
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:13,640
details and we'll see you next time bye

1210
00:54:10,559 --> 00:54:17,079
SMUD SLS well that's it for this week's

1211
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:20,400
muts [ __ ] we hope it was good for you

1212
00:54:17,079 --> 00:54:22,640
cuz it sure was great for us if you're

1213
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:24,400
digging what we're doing it would mean a

1214
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:26,040
lot if you'd take a minute to rate and

1215
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:29,599
review the show wherever you're

1216
00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:33,760
listening right now maybe tell that sexy

1217
00:54:29,599 --> 00:54:36,640
someone to lend us an ear we love you we

1218
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:40,230
appreciate you and we'll see you next

1219
00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:45,429
week stay spdy

1220
00:54:40,230 --> 00:54:45,429
[Music]