Show Notes
TRANSCRIPT FOR EP51
Welcome to SHE is Confident. Hi! This is Deon Teh and in this episode, I will be sharing with you about FAMILY BONDING.
It is important that we need to have the right mindset when we handle our family, especially after we have children.
When I first did a personal development course in 2004, the book that my teacher recommended was tilted Fish! for life.
It is a story related to a mother called Mary Jane, who had taught her children by applying the FISH! Four principles of Play, Make Their Day, Choose Your Attitude, and Be Present, the principles were original from the children's step father Lonnie who is a well-known fishmonger who works at the famous Seattle fish market called Pike Place Fish, it was not only fish market but also tourist destination where people assembled each day in large crowds to watch the live market action and left with smiles and stories as well as fish.
In the story, Mary Jane and Lonnie have just created a family, as they start building a life together, being working parents, having a growing family, the children having school tension, the whole family going through economic stress, and Mary Jane’s sudden weight gain and eventually they managed to overcome all the problems using the 4 principles.
Although 16 years have passed since I first read the book, I did not forget these four principles. As of today, I still find it useful and would like to share it with you. The problems they faced are common problems for many people, through their stories, you can also learn how to have a connection with family and build a life together.
As my husband needs to work on shifts, I get to spend more time with my son. Hence my son and I are much closer compared to my husband and my son. Usually, my son will look for me more than him and the communication between both of them are not as good as mine with my son.
Due to the different nature and character of my son and my husband, both of them always have different perspectives or views and this has led to many arguments especially when they spend time together during weekends on my husband’s off days. As a mother to my son, I will always take his side.
Both parents have equal responsibility towards our children and as parents, we need to be more bonded to see what our children want and not just one side thinking,
Also, I choose to display the right attitude so that the three of us can have a better relationship.
I will attend workshops organised by my Son’s school and also join other online courses to learn how to love ourselves for instance. I learned that we are connected to each other, once we are bonded, it is easier to handle the challenges that we face.
Besides that, I also join other courses like Enneagram and Hawkins to better understand human beings' different ways or points of view, and now I find it easier to handle things that happened within my family and I have managed to turn many worries into blessings also.
The more we bond with each other the calmer I become when dealing with family matters
In the past, I used to think that it was my family members' faults when something arose.
Our relationship is closer and more importantly we are connected. Your family is your practicing place for your life. So don’t just simply complain and feel that it is your husband or your children's fault, they are the people who will lead you to the purpose of your life in this lifetime and this is my realisation after I wanted to resolve the issues or problems I faced in my family.
We may have many disappointments with our family members, no matter how bad it is. when it is time to let go of some of these feelings, we do need to let go. Be the planner of your family but not waiting for results without efforts and I can tell you that this is impossible if you simply wait without making an effort.
Your disappointment should not be the reason for you to give up but you have to dig in to find the reasons that caused this.
and anything sure has a reason behind it to let you find out the gift behind it.
You can join the workshop or read any related books that can act as a guide to find out more about how to be a family starter instead of doing nothing.
Every family can create a special corner or room at home, whenever any family member encounters that any moment needs to have its own space and can self-awareness or self-healing there, so that they can have a self-cleansing or calm moment to see how to seek help from family members.
Every peace starts from us, without needing you to change. If there is a lot of struggle between your conscious and logical thinking, and you will feel tortured, it seems like the whole world owes you.
So be the person who loves yourself but not selfish. Just start from there first, and you will be able to find and see your life purpose.
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If you want to talk about transforming your inner child, healing your relationships with yourself and money, connect with me through my Facebook and the link is in the show notes.
End
What is SHE'S CONFIDENT WITH DEON TEH ?
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A place where all the facades are dropped, and instead the real, raw truth is shared.
Imagine a safe place created just for you.
A place where you can dive deep into all of the fears that have been holding you captive.
A sacred place that allows you to hold space and support for each other as you dive deep into a life-changing transformation.
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