(upbeat music)
So Sean Air English, we
were kind of all gonna do it
and I chickened out.
(laughing) It's just so my bad guys.
But just know you're in my heart,
you're tattooed to my heart, boys.
Oh, I toggle easily.
It's a day off, low power mode.
Is that not annoying or is that just me?
I know I'm anal and I'm not denying that.
I don't know if I find it more annoying
or I just find that weird.
I tell these stories to other people,
I guess don't judge me on them,
but so they can say,
I'm just glad there's
someone else out there
that thinks these things.
Get off my yard, cut your tree.
I turned out to be normal, I promise.
I'm gonna rip off some more branches.
Weren't we supposed to
be in flying cars by now?
The one intersection
that was bass-akwards.
What does that mean?
The autumnal equinox falls.
Just get on with it.
You know, people watching are like,
this is what is happening.
Welcome to the Mr. and
Mrs. English Podcast.
I'm Megan.
And I'm Sean.
We're here to talk about
the wild ride of raising kids
and growing careers,
keeping life together in
the middle of all the chaos.
So buckle up because we're all
in this crazy journey together.
All right, well, here we go.
We are episode 33, the long awaited.
Episode 33.
Episode what?
33.
Trey, Trey.
Oh, if you want to say that, sure.
(laughing) I mean, it was your
thing for the longest time.
I had forgotten about that.
Really?
It was still pretty fresh in my mind.
I know, I apologize for that.
I really do.
It's a funny thing that you grow out of.
So we mentioned on the
last podcast at the very end,
if anybody stayed with
us, I know a few of you did,
but we were talking
about how it takes guys
longer to grow up, right?
Yes.
And one of the things that it did take me
a little bit of time to grow out of
was my fascination with my sports number.
I was 33, basketball.
My number was 33, football.
My number was 33, 33 in
high school, 33 in college.
I mean, I was 33.
I mean, that was ingrained in me, right?
And that's your whole
persona for a good 10 years
of your life.
Yeah.
It's burned into you.
Oh, I can imagine.
And again, I will caveat this with,
I did not play professional sports.
So I can only imagine
what it's like for an athlete
that actually went professional,
had that number for 25
years, made a living.
It was a, you know what I mean?
That's gotta be totally different.
But for us, amateurs, even still,
I don't know if it's the
testosterone burn at the time.
It just burns it into you.
I think it's part of,
because it was so much
a part of your persona,
you know, that it was
so much of who you are,
what your identity was at that time.
I think I wasn't--
I always go to the fact that,
at least I played college ball.
So I mean, there's nothing against people
that played high school.
There's great high
school athletes out there
that didn't go on to
play in college and whatnot.
But I always felt like,
because I played some college ball too,
that it gave me a
little extra, I know, right?
You had a few extra years there.
A little bit of extra right there.
To wear that on the back.
And that's a whole other story there.
That's a whole other story.
But yeah, so for the
longest time when we first met,
I mean, 33, it would be, you
know, 4.33 in the afternoon.
I'd be like, hey, trade, trade.
Yep.
I mean, and it was a
thing, an incredibly lame thing.
Did we, so speaking of incredibly lame,
did we talk about the
name on your yearbook?
I mean, it was so much
a part of your persona.
Well, that was a real
quick, like right turn,
or left turn.
Wow.
No, we did not.
But I mean, it was so
much a part of your persona.
Yeah.
That you actually changed
the name on your yearbook.
Not to trade trade though.
It wasn't trade trade.
It just goes back to, I
mean, I was a basketball player.
Yeah, it was a part of your identity.
Yeah, yeah.
So much so that the name on your yearbook
in what, eighth grade?
Eighth grade.
Eighth grade, okay, so let's--
That's what it can be at.
This was not my senior year.
Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Eighth grade, I was 14 maybe.
Right.
So, and it was so
much a part of your life
that your name was--
Well, the year before,
you know how you can put,
you know how back in the age you got it,
you can put your name into them,
they'd be like, what is that?
Embossed in like gold or silver print
or something like
that, say, Shawn Ingalls.
I don't know if you ever did that,
because I didn't see it, but--
No, we didn't have that option.
That was a thing in
Colorado, we did those,
and most of them, so it was Shawn
Ingalls, Shawn Ingalls.
But for eighth grade, it was Shawn,
quotation marks, air, ingless,
closed quotation marks, English.
So Shawn Air Ingalls,
and that was, you know,
that was an ode to Michael Air Jordan.
Yes, yes.
He and I were very
similar back in 1990, maybe 90?
90, maybe, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was winning his first championship
and I was leading the home talks, yeah.
Absolutely, leading the sport, yeah.
Into historic wins, for sure.
You can read all about
it in the encyclopedias.
(laughing)
It is.
Yeah.
I mean, pretty soon,
when I use like chat GPT
or copilot and use your
name, like it's going to pull up
Shawn Air Ingalls,
maybe, if we put that out.
It's not, it's not.
Well, that's the funny thing,
because it was like,
that's your persona for so long.
Guys were like that a little bit.
100%.
But I eventually grew out of that, right?
Like Tre Tre, little longer part.
That's why I was joking.
I don't really have a
tattoo on my back for 33,
but I did have some
really, really good friends.
My two best friends, Jason and Brian,
and all of our numbers
kind of went together, right?
So it was like two, three,
three, three, and three, two.
So 23, 33, and 32 were our numbers.
And they got that tattooed on their arms.
And we were kind of all
gonna do it, and I chickened out.
(laughing) It's just so my bad guys.
But just know you're in my heart.
You're tattooed to my heart, boys.
I know, that's like a
deep, a deep tattoo.
Yeah, so anyways, I grew out of it.
I still, I mean, but are some
of our sons and our daughters,
have you wore that number?
Yeah, they do.
Because it's kind of a family thing now.
Not that I pressured them into it.
I think they just saw things and pictures
and they knew about it.
You never once
actually even suggested it,
talked about it, anything.
Our kids knew nothing about the number 33
in this Trey Trey phenomenon.
I mean, that's how long
ago you grew out of this.
That like, it didn't even persist well.
Bring it back though, right?
It's really good.
Or not, or not.
Oh goodness, so we are in
episode Trey Trey, episode 33.
Which would have been a
huge deal to me, you know,
15 years ago.
Maybe 20 years ago now.
Forget how old I'm getting.
I know, isn't that crazy?
Does it still feel 25?
Yeah, we've talked
about that a little bit.
It is, I mean, it is
so weird that I don't,
I don't feel any older than 35.
No.
Really?
No, like, and that's okay.
Just life just puts
different pressures on you.
I mean, I think as you get older,
you're able to just bear more weight
as long as you're a healthy individual.
And there's times even when
you're a healthy individual
that it's too much weight.
Yeah.
Right?
There's a lot of times like that, yeah.
I remember a few years
back when I had a company
that I owned, I was
still working for the bank,
but on the side I owned a company.
And, you know, I had like, we were
running like 33 trucks.
We, you know, at
Christmas time, you know,
I had at least that many employees,
a lot of pressure on that.
And there was a lot of
pressure on that one.
It was not what we wanted it to be.
I was trying to get out of it.
I had to make it through
the next Christmas season.
And I remember saying like that,
the pressure of that cracked me.
I mean, it
fundamentally cracked my personality
for a good two or three years.
Yeah.
And it took me time to heal
because that was a lot of pressure.
It was.
And I was a healthy person at that time,
thinking I was doing like,
For sure.
We did a lot of research on it,
thought we made the right choices,
talked to a lot of people.
Yeah.
And it just ended up the people,
the people that I could
not do the research on,
were the ones that ruined it.
Well, isn't that usually how it goes?
Yeah. A lot of times it is.
It's a human element that
can throw a wrench into things.
Yeah.
Right. The people I had to deal
with at the other company
that dealt with my company specifically
were just horrible people.
And I'm lucky enough that I
haven't had this a whole lot
in my career, but I mean, you hear people
and I've actually known
quite a few as have you,
like, hey, I'm gonna
go to this new company.
It's a great, you know,
maybe there's a really
big job offer or whatever
that's out there and that
money and you get over there
and you're like, whoa, I
couldn't do the research
on these people and I
don't like the culture.
I don't like the way
they talk to each other,
whatever it happens to be, you know,
that's the piece that you can't.
The grass is always
seems like it's greener.
Yes.
Right?
That's what everybody thinks.
Grass is always greener.
Right.
And, you know, I've been
around the block enough
at the banks, because
in my line of business,
financing of a certain
particular, you know,
not segment, the US economy, I would say,
there was just kind of a merry-go-round
of these bankers have
specialized in what I did.
Yeah.
And it just kind of
all, we just kind of all
hopped different banks.
We'd follow each other, we'd go here,
then that person would
move over here, you know?
And, but it was the same people
everywhere you went.
And like, you'd be tired,
because like this
credit culture was terrible.
This credit guy was horrible, you know,
or this leadership wasn't
what I was hoping it would be.
You get to the next
bank, you know, it's like,
same tie, you know?
Same attitude, same everything.
Yeah.
I think there are
probably some industries
that are just more like that than others,
that maybe have a little bit more of--
Yeah, I always had
the banking and finance.
We've talked about this a lot,
because I was in banking
and finance for 24 years.
And, and my experiences with that are
different than yours,
because you're, you're also in finance.
But a totally different segment,
non-banking related.
Yeah.
And you don't have as much of the
machoism, the egoism,
I mean, the egos are
just out of this world.
And you get to some levels there.
I'm not trying to throw
sticks and stones at people,
but it's, it's over the top.
I mean, smartest guys in
the room is a legit thing.
Read the book.
100%.
Yeah.
Well, and that's one
thing that I think I've,
tried to at least talk to our kids about.
And I remember, I remember when I
graduated from college,
I graduated, you know,
finance and accounting degree.
Right?
And up until that point,
your life has always
fit into a box, right?
Like I'm a finance major,
or I'm a marketing major,
or I'm psychology.
Like it fits into those boxes.
And then you get into the
real world and you're like,
whoa, that, that box
actually means nothing.
That box is so big that
it's really hard to pick
what to do.
And I'm, I'm so blessed
that I got into the right
piece of finance.
Cause like my education was
geared toward brokerage firm.
And if you know me,
I would not have done
well in a brokerage firm
type environment.
That's actually great for some people,
but that like
aggressive cutthroat type of
smartest guy in the room, machoism.
Sexy wall street bankers.
Smartest guy in the room.
I, I would have cracked.
Like it would have never been for me.
Yeah.
So I always say I'm blessed to have
gotten into what I did.
Yeah.
You know, but there's so
many different levels of,
you know, we talk about both in finance,
but very different.
Yeah.
You know?
Those are just things we would say like,
I could never do that.
And you're like, oh,
that's totally normal.
Like people admit they're
wrong all the time in mind,
people work together and
try to help each other.
And it's like, no, it's cutthroat.
My room in commercial
banking is not that way.
I'm just saying everybody's like that.
There's some great people
and great friends I've made
in the banking industry, but,
but there's a reason.
Yeah.
It's just, it's, it's different and.
Yeah. Bankers and lawyers have, you know,
they have a certain, you know.
They do.
But I'm sure lawyers
are probably at get as,
I don't know, I don't think frustrated
it's the right word,
but they probably have a similar
experience to you and I,
where there's just different levels.
I think you're like,
I'm a contract attorney.
I've never seen the
inside of a courtroom.
I have no idea.
I stare at documents all day, you know,
versus you have the other ones.
You're like, I'm a defense attorney.
Yeah, right.
I represent the people who
have murdered people, you know.
And you're like, but
they deserve a defense too.
Right, right, exactly.
Yeah.
So different.
Life doesn't fit into those boxes.
But you brought this
to bring that background
to your initial point though.
Yeah, I think people
are always just looking
for that grass is greener to some degree.
And I think it's just such a blessing
because you're one of the
few lucky ones, I would say,
that get up every day.
You enjoy what you do.
You enjoy the people you
work with for the most part.
And it's not a chore
to go to work for you
as much as maybe some people.
Right, right.
But a lot of that is the people, right?
Like I work in a culture
where it's okay to say,
I'm wrong or I made a mistake.
We all make mistakes.
And just own it.
Yeah.
And you know me, I'm gonna out myself.
Like I'm the last
person to ever say I'm sorry
because I hate being wrong and whatever.
But it's like honestly through my job
because I realize by being
accountable to your mistake,
that's actually
thought of as a good thing.
So it's like, it's helped
me in my personal life too.
Even though you would
think that'd come more
from your personal life.
He's always the first to say he's sorry.
Yeah.
You really are.
Well, I'm right most of the time.
So when I'm not, it's easy to,
there are one or two
times it's ever happened.
(laughs)
You're right a lot.
I mean you are.
I kid, I kid, I kid, I kid.
Anyways, we go down
that pathway a long ways
but I don't wanna beat that dead horse.
We've talked about that before.
We can talk about that
another time at some point too.
But today is a holiday.
So we're trying to get some R&R in.
We are.
And some of us are better at
getting R&R in than others.
Yeah, another dagger thrown at me.
I actually am somewhat envious of you
because even on days off, I
have like a low power mode.
That's why you know I'm envious of you.
You can actually
switch that, you can toggle.
Oh, I toggle easily.
It's a day off, low power mode, right?
I'm doing laundry, I'm
emptying a dishwasher,
I'm changing a bed, right?
It's the basic stuff.
Awesome.
Whereas you are still plagued by like,
I gotta get stuff done.
I don't even have that desire.
And because of that, I feel lazy.
Yeah, the best metaphor I
can come up with right now
is like since we're on
yachts, yachts and boats
and all this stuff.
It's like you got the
boat turned all the way up,
your hammer down, full
blast with the engines going.
Except you're more,
you know, you're in dock.
So you're just at the
dock just bouncing around
but the engines are going,
but you're not going anywhere.
Because today is a day off.
Even though you got a
thousand places to go
and things to do, I don't know,
it's just the to-do list
in my head is constantly,
it just doesn't allow
you to, me at least,
I can't turn that off,
I can't toggle that off.
It's just, I could be doing
this, I could be doing that,
I could be doing this.
I talked about that before on this show,
having to slow down and be like,
well instead, you know
what, maybe let's play
game of pool with the kids.
Or hang out in the
pool itself with the kids.
Right.
While they still want
to do that kind of stuff.
So I'm not horrible
at that kind of stuff,
but like this
morning, I don't want to say
it puts me in a bad
mood, but I get aggravated.
I have to fight through
the annoyance of my own brain
that's saying, Shawn,
you could be doing this
or you should be doing this,
or what are you doing tomorrow?
Planning for tomorrow?
To be like, hey, today we're
not gonna do anything major.
And there's still some
things we're gonna do,
we gotta get some vacation
to plan and stuff like that.
That is, it's really hard,
it's really hard to rest.
I find it really hard to rest.
You do.
My brain does not turn off, ever.
It never, ever, ever turns off.
With the caveat of watching a movie,
if I'm watching a movie, I can get
immersed in the movie.
And for that hour and a half,
that's why I'm Friday nights
or we have movie
nights, I love movie nights
because that is the time
I can turn my brain off.
Right, and I can always tell when you're,
because I could tell you
were agitated this morning.
I could just, there's
just something about it.
There's an edginess.
Oh, I know, I knew it too.
You were like, I
really, I should go for a run.
And I--
I was laughing because you
encouraged me to go for the run.
I encouraged you.
I always come back from
running in a better mood.
So you encouraged me to go on the run.
You should just go for a run.
I did because I knew you would feel like
you accomplished something
because that was part of your agitation.
You're like, I've
gotten nothing done again.
Because we ate so much
this weekend in Austin.
Just junk food after
junk food after junk food.
Moodle junk food.
And everything's fried,
you know, I mean it's just--
There's nothing healthy about it.
Right, right.
You feel unhealthy, I get that.
But like, I knew that
if you went for a run,
because at first I was
like, whatever you want to do,
you know.
Usually you don't
give that kind of direct,
that hard direction either.
I was laughing inside.
Yeah, I was that
transparent that I was like,
no, you should go for a run after I said,
you should do what you want to do.
And then you kept talking and I was like,
you should go for a run.
But I've told you that before.
Male's, at least me,
I'm a blunt instrument.
So you don't need to
like tiptoe around it.
You know what I mean?
Like, Sean, you got a little
bit of an attitude problem?
We go for a run.
I'm okay with that
because I already know that.
It's not like I'm like,
it's not an epiphany for me like,
oh, what, I'm in a bad mood?
It's like, I understand that.
And I wasn't in a bad mood,
but I was just, I was
teeter tottering on frustration
with myself, not with anybody else.
But the bad news is,
and I think a lot of
people are like this,
when you're in one of those moods,
and I hope other people get in that mood,
is, and I hope I'm not
the only one that does it,
because I'm just trying
to let people know like,
this is normal,
I think is you tend to
take that out on other people.
And so you start like nitpicking,
at least I do, I'll start
nitpicking on other people.
And then I just feel bad,
cause like now I'm the
dad that's in a bad mood.
I think that's totally normal.
I do the same thing.
Yeah, and so that's why I was like,
I do need to go.
But I was also
struggling with just being lazy.
You know, it's like, I
got a thousand things to do.
I'm exhausted.
I ate horrible.
I'm tired.
All these things are piled up.
Where do I start unpacking this,
so I can have a great day?
You know what I mean?
And the best place you're right for me
to start unpacking is physicality.
I need to go shoot hoops.
I need to go lift weights.
I need to go for a run.
And the run is usually the easiest one,
just to start off with, cause it's fast.
30 minutes, I'm done, and I feel good.
Yeah, yeah.
And you feel accomplished.
You got some of your jitters out.
So it's like, even if you
do relax the rest of the day,
you're like, I went for my run.
It makes me feel healthier.
It just, yeah.
It doesn't solve everything, but.
No, but it's a little
bit of a reset for me.
I mean, I got plenty of
things left to do today
that I like to do.
But the family, including myself,
will all appreciate
the fact that I was able
to run through that, literally.
And, you know, transition into, you know,
just more of a better day.
Yeah, yeah.
I hear ya.
Yeah.
It's funny, like, on
the run, you could tell.
I was in an agitated mood
enough, like, on the run.
I run down this
neighborhood near where we live,
and there was a while there.
I just tell these
stories to other people,
like, I guess, don't judge me on them,
but so they can say, like,
I'm just glad there's
someone else out there
that thinks these things, right?
So in this neighborhood,
and we're not part of that neighborhood.
That's an HOA and all that kind of stuff,
but I've lived in HOA
neighborhoods before,
so I know, like, there's rules.
Like, for one thing, I know
when I'm in an agitated mood,
on the sidewalk, when
you've got your tree
that's growing near the sidewalk,
you're supposed to trim the limbs
so that people can walk on the sidewalk
without being decapitated, or, I mean,
that might be extreme,
but at least you
shouldn't have to duck under,
you shouldn't have to duck
under the tree limbs, right?
That's part of the HOA.
It's like, I've seen it,
and I know that
neighborhood's nice enough
that that's part of it,
and when these same people, same people,
they have two trees in two different
spots that hang over,
and when I can tell
I'm a little frustrated,
I'm like, it frustrates me, I'm like,
in my head, I'm like, cut your branches.
So sometimes I run under and I try to
snap them with my hand,
so that's like the dead branch,
or then sometimes I'll
just run through their yard,
hoping that they'll
see me and yell at me,
you know, like, get off my
yard, like, cut your tree.
These are the things I think about
as I'm just like Mr. in
a bad mood running guy.
So today, I'm running.
I can't wait to hear this.
Yeah. This is news to me.
And this is the second time I've seen it.
The first time it didn't bother me,
but I did take note of it.
There's a guy in his
neighborhood, normal street,
just like anybody else's street.
His driveway happens to be just exactly
across the street from
his neighbor's driveway.
So he backs out his truck,
and I've seen him do it twice,
and he did it today.
He backs his truck out all
the way across the street
into his neighbor's driveway,
halfway into his neighbor's driveway,
then pulls out into
the, and then pulls out.
He's incapable, apparently,
did this thing just lower?
He's incapable, apparently,
of backing out into the street
as most people do,
and then pulling for it.
So he drives into his, he
backs into his neighbor's driveway
every time to leave his driveway.
Really? Yeah.
Does that not annoy you?
Is that not annoying, or is that just me?
I know I'm anal, and
I'm not denying that.
I don't know if I find it more annoying,
or I just find that weird.
Everyone just backs
out of their driveway.
Why do you have to go all the way back
so that makes no sense to me?
It is totally going down.
My day's getting bad again.
I need to go for another one.
My mic is acting up on me.
I'm gonna rip off some more branches.
My mic is sad, apparently.
It's just like, oh, this is just sad.
This just keeps going down.
That's just weird.
And maybe they're really good friends,
and that's why he does.
Yeah, it's like, hey,
you don't mind if I just,
for no reason whatsoever,
need to use your driveway to back out.
That's just, that's a little bit odd.
Yeah.
I don't get why you
would need to do that.
But these are the type of neighborhoods
where people are like, I
complain about these HOA people.
I mean, people are very
concerned about their property,
and don't put your trash
cans in the wrong spots,
and all this kind of stuff.
And it's like, oh, sure, by all means,
use my driveway to get
out of your driveway.
Right.
Because you need, you
can't back into the street.
Anyways.
That's the weirdest thing.
So I remember I was
running by that this morning,
just going like, okay.
Okay.
Interesting.
I was like, this
should not bother me, Sean.
This should not bother you.
Keep on running.
But I did shake my head at him.
And like, I was just, I'm running.
I kind of like, I kind of
did like the whole thing
in my head, like you couldn't just,
I literally like motioned with my hand.
Like you couldn't
just go into your street
and then drive out.
I did this like little hand motion.
Just in case, hopefully he
was looking and being like,
oh, you know what?
That guy's right.
I should, I should back into the street.
This is, yeah.
It's over and beyond.
Yeah.
It's beyond the pale.
Or he just thought that there was a bug
that you were trying to get rid of.
Or everybody knows I'm just that really
mad, uptight runner.
Carrying branches that
you've ripped off trees as you go.
So I mean, on this podcast,
I mean like this is
my normal personality.
I am generally a very
happy-go-lucky person.
Now that being said, I
feel like I am a lightweight.
That being said, we've
covered it on here, right?
There's different facets
to everybody's personality.
I am intense as they come.
Not as they come, but I am very intense.
I've met more intense people than me.
I'm anal, I get that.
I'm a perfectionist.
What was the other thing I was gonna say?
Oh, and I am not as much of an optimist
as I once thought I was.
Some might even say I'm a pessimist,
but I really try not to be.
I don't want to be.
But when you've had as
much bad luck, go ahead.
What's so cute about it is that,
and this is the
maturity of our relationship.
You used to tell me
what an optimist you were
and how you were just easygoing,
and the whole time, like early dating,
and even into 15 years of marriage,
I just kinda was like,
just kinda stayed
silent when you would say it.
15 years silent.
And I was like--
You've lived in a jail.
Finally, I was like, "No, you're not.
"You're not an optimist.
"You're not easygoing."
And now it's like, and I'm not either.
I can't claim to be.
I'm not.
I never have been.
I've never been an easygoing person.
I'm an optimist, I think.
I would say for sure.
Most of the time.
I would say for sure.
Unless I'm in a bad mood,
and then the world is crashing, right?
We all get like that.
Then everything's terrible.
But yeah, I think,
because you've been more,
you're like, "No, you have to be,"
you said it earlier, you
just have to be super blunt.
And so, I'll never forget, I was like,
"Yeah, you're not an optimist, honey."
Well, that's what's funny.
I was just gonna say,
that's what's so funny though.
It took you 15 years.
Maybe that's just comfort level.
I mean, I don't know.
We're very comfortable with each other.
Well, I think we're upfront with you.
But that is a personality thing,
because you have had to learn that,
and you still are learning that.
I think even after 20
years of being together,
that be more blunt, just be more upfront.
Say what you want.
And that's a little bit of an
upbringing thing, potentially,
because I know your
family is much more sweet,
but under the crud.
And I'm not saying it's a bad thing,
but I mean, my family's not that way.
My family wears their
emotions under sleep.
We got a problem, let's talk about it.
At least, some of my family's that way.
There's other parts of my family
that aren't like that either.
But I am definitely a person
that I'm not just gonna be like,
let's pretend that didn't happen
and just smile at each other.
I hate that, I hate that.
And I know that's not easy.
Some people hate acknowledging the fact
that we need to have a conversation.
Because one of us is not happy.
And I think that's
something that, personality-wise,
we've worked on a lot
in our marriage of like,
hey, look, I'm very
upfront with those things.
And you've had to
learn to deal with that.
Because it's, and I have too,
it's not like I've hit you over the
hammer all the time.
I've tried not to do that, but it is.
It's very hard for me not
to have something to say
and not say it.
Where it's like, tell me
I'm bad too, it's okay.
You can tell me I'm bad.
I'll work on it.
I don't know.
I'm a blunt, dumb guy sometimes.
And if you don't tell me, I won't know.
Just tell me exactly what it is.
And I'll work on it, I promise.
And I treat you the same way
and I know that's not how you definitely,
that's not how you want
it sometimes, delivered.
Yeah, and that's where it,
I think that's just
people's comfort level
with being super blunt, right?
Like, some people need the soft landing.
Like, you still need to hear it.
And I never would, when you would comment
about how you were
easy going and, you know,
I would never be like, oh yeah, you are.
I wouldn't actually agree with it.
I just wouldn't contradict it, you know?
I probably wasn't ready to hear that
at that point in my life though either.
Yeah, true. It was 15 years ago.
True.
I've had, you know, I've matured
during our relationship story.
I think we both have.
Let's hope so after 20,
more than 20 years together.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's a hard story to math in my head.
Well, I was still healing from, you know,
my tough earlier years when we met.
Yeah.
You know, we were still
going through some of that.
I mean, you saw some of that.
Yeah, yeah.
So, I mean, yeah, I've,
not that I'm a totally healed, great,
perfect person anymore,
but I mean, I definitely have matured
through some of those things.
Yeah.
And I'm still trying to
work on that because it is,
it's hard for me to have something to say
and give feedback to somebody.
And it's like, well, I just,
do you not want me to
tell you how I feel?
Yeah. Because now I'm just
keeping something from me that I feel
like you should know.
Yeah, yeah.
Or that I feel like I want to tell you.
Yeah.
(laughing)
Right, right.
And sometimes it's
just the messaging, right?
Like, and that's
where either of us may not
do it the right way all the time.
Like one, two blunt,
one, two subtle, right?
Or one even almost, like for my way,
like I may be so subtle
that it never even came across
and it seems as complicit, right?
Like, but there's a
happy medium in there, right?
Yeah.
Not hurt someone's feelings,
but yet still let them hear the truth.
Right, right.
I'm still working on it.
Yeah, no, it's hard.
We're both working on
both of those things.
Anyways, but we're trying to,
it's just so interesting, the
difference in personalities.
I know other people out
there have the same issues.
I mean, clearly they do because I mean,
think about how many
relationships don't work, you know?
So I mean, it's not easy being different
and trying to find that
common ground, you know?
I mean, I'll never forget.
I mean, my gosh, my
microphone does not wanna,
oh, okay, I remember it a while, sorry.
I tried to fix my mic and I still didn't.
It's just continuously
getting lower and lower here, but--
It'll just start sliding down.
Yeah, that's what I need to do.
I'll just start, that's right.
I'll just, I'll adjust to the mic.
Just be my eyebrows and up on the show.
It'll be me talking to an empty chair.
Those of you listening, they're like,
just get on with it, you know?
People watching are like,
this is a, what is happening?
Yeah, skip forward.
What I was gonna say is like,
you know, some of my
ex-girlfriends would know,
it's just like, as you
mature through these things,
like, I'll never forget one
of the things that changed,
that only you've had in our relationship
is the fact that I could
get over like a disagreement
or an argument or something like that.
You know what I mean?
Like, I think the biggest thing when I,
like high school girlfriends, like,
I was just insanely
jealous because I was so clingy
because that was the
only source of like love
and belonging I had
is with that girlfriend
at the time, probably.
And so that was just so unhealthy.
I mean, talk about, I don't
know if it was codependency,
but it was 100%
dependency on my part, you know?
So that was just, that's
where all that came from,
completely unhealthy.
I know I don't talk
to any of you anymore,
but my apologies.
I turned out to be normal, I promise.
I think I did.
I can vouch for this.
It's close to normal.
It's totally normal.
But then my adult
girlfriends, it was then like,
I couldn't let go
because I had a lot of anger
from growing up and I hadn't
dealt with that anger, right?
So like when I would get in a,
we'd get disagreements or
arguments and stuff like that.
I could not let that anger go like that.
It would just build up anger in me.
It was just embers all the time.
And so you know, you fan the
embers and I couldn't let it go.
I would be mad over
like the dumbest arguments,
like dumb arguments for like a week.
I just couldn't get over it
because it was just constant embers.
This is in my early
twenties now, mind you.
This is not last week.
But that was something,
that was the biggest thing
I remember maturing
through with our relationship.
Somehow that I could
just cut off and left behind
because when you and I had a disagreement
or whatever it was,
whatever it might've been,
I was able to leave that behind me.
Like when that argument
ended, I could end it.
I didn't, it didn't, I
didn't carry that weight
and that anger with me.
And that was something
that I did for decades.
Because that's one thing
that all couples have to do
and do it well to a certain degree
is like have disagreements, but yet still
move forward, right?
Right.
I mean, you've seen things
like one of the best things
to do is argue in front of your children
because then they can actually see
conflict resolution.
You know, I don't think you
should argue all the time.
But like they should see some--
At least once a day argue
in front of your children.
That's the, if you
learn anything from today.
You learn anything.
But a healthy argument, you know,
like resolving it in a healthy way
because you're not
always gonna agree on things.
Yes.
I mean, we agree on
most things, you know?
And I don't remember
which child I was talking to
and I was like, in a marriage,
yet you're not gonna agree on everything
and don't expect that.
Otherwise, there's a whole other level
of unhealthiness if you do.
Right, right.
You know, because you
are two different people
that are spending a lifetime together.
You have different
upbringings, different ideas,
different, all of it,
different personalities.
Yeah, I don't know if we've mentioned it
on the show before, but I just, I think,
some of the best advice
that we gave someone on this,
because you had to
give a wedding present.
I did.
Right, and we were trying
to figure out what it was
and we gave a tie to my
little sister on her wedding.
Yeah.
You presented it and gave it
to her and stuff like that,
but you go ahead, you
can tell them what it was.
No, it was your idea, you go.
Well, it was just, what was
the premise we were giving it?
It was, I mean, it
was for a wedding shower
and I can't even remember now.
There was supposed to be like a--
A piece of advice and
then a present that kind of--
But they were supposed to go together.
They were supposed to go together, yeah.
So anyways, we gave
them a tie, like a necktie,
because we kind of felt
like in our relationship,
that it's okay to tie.
Like there doesn't have
to be a winner or a loser
of a conversation or an argument, right?
It's okay just to say,
all right, well we tie.
Like I don't have to win this.
Right.
And that takes a level of maturity,
because that was something I had to do
for a long time too,
is feel like I had to win.
I think we're worse at that now.
(laughing) I think there's times like,
oh, we're gonna dig in here?
You're gonna dig in?
You're like, you're digging in?
I'll dig in.
And there's times when it's like,
there's times when you're like,
no, I'm just letting this one go.
And you know, it's like,
I still think I'm right,
but I don't care.
It really is not worth arguing over.
Yeah.
You know, I thought you were speeding
faster than you were.
That's probably the biggest
one where we kind of just like,
okay, I'm not gonna dig in here.
Like--
Speeding is where you went with that?
(laughing)
Sometimes you'll be like, I don't speed.
And in my mind, I'm like,
you always speed, you know?
I don't speed excessively.
I think you think I
drive like 95 miles an hour,
no matter where I go.
And I don't, generally.
I will catch the next
person in front of me usually,
but I mean, I'm pretty comfy around 80.
You are.
Well, that's not pushed this too long.
It's any highlights from our Austin trip
this last week for you?
Maybe a learning.
Learning what?
So I've only been to Austin once.
Okay.
There is so much
flippin' road construction
going on in Austin.
Holy moly.
I was like, and I
mean, we never knew if Waze
was gonna tell us the right way
because just random exits would be closed
because of road construction.
I mean, how many roads like ended?
And we're like, oh, can't turn here,
but it tells me I'm supposed to.
How many different ways
did Waze try to take us
to make our way?
Every way is different in Waze.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, there was
a college football game
Friday night on 35 in the middle of,
in the middle of, they have a whole side
of the highway down.
So it's got it down to two
lanes on one side of the highway
because we're expanding it.
I mean, good Lord.
Is there any highway in the United States
not being expanded?
I don't know.
Weren't we supposed to
be in flying cars by now?
And they should have,
they should just expand
all highways to like--
100 lanes.
100 lanes, yeah, exactly.
I was gonna say something ridiculous too.
Yeah, that is pretty ridiculous.
You know what I mean?
Or just go with the tube
theory and does everybody,
boom, you know, just send
cars down one at a time.
Like that, you know
exactly what I'm saying.
I do.
Yeah, no, that was good.
Trying to think if I
had any takeaways from it.
Oh, the one
intersection that was bass-acwards.
Any intersection we've ever been through.
30 years of driving, never seen this.
And how many cars did we
see quite literally driving
the wrong way on the road?
There's no way to explain
this in a short amount of time
when we're trying to wrap this up.
This just tell you that
this was the most complex
right hand turn lane
anywhere in the United States.
Because the right hand turn took you into
the middle of the road.
If you turned into the first two lanes,
you're turning yourself
into oncoming traffic.
Instead, you went down into
the middle of oncoming traffic.
There was one lane going straight,
then you turned next to that one.
And then the next two lanes
were oncoming to turn left.
So you basically split oncoming traffic.
Yes.
And there was the sign
that we were looking at before
and I'd never been there going like,
"Do you understand what that sign means?"
Every single one of us was
like, "What does that mean?"
So we asked the kid
who's taking driver's ed,
we're like, "Is that like a new thing?"
And she's like, "I don't
know what that sign means."
Every single one of us said,
"I don't know what that sign means."
So on the way back from that one time,
now that I knew what it
was, I watched and five cars
were driving into
oncoming traffic on this
because it's so complex.
It makes no sense to do that way.
No sense, it's just
outside of Flugerville.
(laughing)
Which is nice to be laughing at.
Yeah, with a P outside of Austin.
And it is the dumbest
intersection of all time.
So then as I'm going, four cars head on
into two lanes going the wrong way.
So five cars.
And the one cycle of
light that I went through,
we're driving into
head on oncoming traffic.
You know what, everyone
should just Google Flugerville
with P.
Stupid intersection.
Oh, it's probably there, yeah.
And I bet it's gotta be there.
And I bet you will find--
That was my one take away from it.
Yeah.
I'm astonished at it.
Whoever, whatever civil
engineer pulled that one together.
They had to be drunk.
I don't understand it at all.
I just don't understand
how that works better.
They had to be drunk.
Every time I was at that intersection,
somebody was going
driving into oncoming traffic.
Yes.
Every single time.
And we went to--
And I've never seen that anywhere.
Other than on the cops TV show.
Have I seen somebody else
driving into oncoming traffic?
And they were being chased by cops.
Right.
And they probably get arrested
and likely are under the influence.
Yeah, these were probably completely--
Yeah, or they ran out of the car naked.
Flug got a cops show?
They had a, that sounds--
It's all blurred.
You haven't seen that episode?
You know what?
It's like episode 90 through 180.
I mean, there's a lot of
people that do that apparently.
Oh, okay.
I don't think it's that hot.
I just can't take your word for it.
Like, never the C.
Which is good.
That was my one take away.
That was my one take away from Austin.
Kids played great.
Good season opener.
It was always fun, but
man, yeah, Bass, Edwards.
Yep.
Flugerville's stupid intersection.
I have to believe it's a thing.
It is a thing.
It's gotta be.
It's gotta be trending
on Twitter or something.
It's gotta be.
Let's make it trend on Twitter.
Maybe I'll put a picture of it up here.
Oh yeah.
At some point.
Let's do that.
That sign that, and then we
can just make everyone go,
what in the heck?
Yeah, maybe they'll change it.
Change people.
Change is progress.
Be the change you
want to see in the world.
Here you go.
Let's end it with that.
All right, let's come up with our words.
We don't get too long here.
Guy, you got yours.
I got mine.
Okay.
I do.
I don't love mine, but okay.
I don't love mine either,
but I couldn't find a better way of
saying it with one word.
I was just saying, one, two, three.
Agility. Acceleration.
Oh, agility.
What was that?
So I think last week,
just kind of threw a
ton of curve balls, right?
Like, you know, I
think about a night where,
oh, all practice was
canceled, celebration.
And then it became one of
the craziest nights ever.
We ended up going to bed way later.
And then we had to
throw in a trip to Austin
where everything's going to get canceled.
Are they not?
It was just one of those weeks
that felt like we
were constantly pivoting.
Yeah, that's true.
We were a lot of curve balls.
Okay, so I want to hear
about your acceleration.
I mean, it's similar.
Acceleration was just like, you know,
we're just peddling to the metal.
I mean, we're just going, you're right.
It's like, okay, we're
taking a hard left turn here,
but we still got to go.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's like, we're going,
we're going, we're going.
It sort of felt like, to your point,
like, partners were
canceled, no big deal.
Now we're going to go
to the football game.
Right, right.
Oh wait, now I'm
going to draw up off a kid
at the football game while
I'm picking up another kid.
Like, who's going to now
stay at the, it was just weird.
I felt like Frogger.
Maybe Frogger would have
been in the football game.
That was a really good one, yeah.
Like, just, yeah,
because that is both of those.
I think it's a good picture.
Yeah.
All right, well, made
it through another week.
Good job.
We did, I'm fine.
And now we're in
September, where we're into fall.
My favorite, my
favorite season of the year.
Are we officially in fall?
That doesn't happen until
like October or something.
The autumnal equinox falls.
I don't know when it is.
Technically, I think
that's when it starts,
but I don't know,
September seems like fall to me.
Yeah.
So we're going to go with it.
Yeah, we're going to go with it.
Well, we saw a pumpkin
spice, pancakes are out,
so pumpkin spice has arrived,
which means fall has arrived.
There we go.
All right, hey, thanks
for joining everybody.
Hope you have a great week.
All right, ciao ciao.
See ya.