1 00:00:00,667 --> 00:00:03,461 right. Yeah. Yeah. Me too. 2 00:00:03,461 --> 00:00:04,921 Anywhere but here, right now. 3 00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:07,924 Matt. 4 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,634 Well, hello. Hello, hello. 5 00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:10,885 Welcome to another edition. 6 00:00:10,885 --> 00:00:13,430 A rollicking edition of What's Good with John and Joyce. 7 00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:16,850 I'm John Cadillac Seville, from iHeart Radio and John Seville 8 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,811 Entertainment with my co-host Logan. 9 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:21,730 We are rollicking. 10 00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:22,564 We are rollicking. 11 00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:25,358 You know, I don't know why I came up with that, but, you like that? 12 00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:26,276 You like that. 13 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:29,029 I'd like to say a big thank you to all of our sponsors. 14 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,865 Woodwinds, wedding and special events, venue and Sylvio. 15 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:35,535 Sources the woodwinds.com ascend bank. 16 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,662 They don't just see your accounts. 17 00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:40,290 They see your vision and ambitions. 18 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:44,544 Ascend dot bank Moonshots, a vegan based company 19 00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:49,632 that delivers the highest quality organic juices, coffee bowls and so much more. 20 00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:52,385 Drink moonshots.com. 21 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:55,930 And to your health, nutrition and health coaching. 22 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:59,893 Creating a lifestyle tailored just for you to your health. 23 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,062 Three 60.com. 24 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:05,315 We're deeply grateful to all of our sponsors for their support 25 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,191 and for partnering 26 00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:10,320 with us to uplift and enrich the lives of our listeners and viewers. 27 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:11,571 But speaking of rollicking, 28 00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:14,908 we have an amazing gentleman who rocked all the way down from his 29 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,911 abode to get to our studios here in Branford, Connecticut. 30 00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:21,956 Gentlemen, I had the pleasure of meeting, you know, several years ago. 31 00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:23,792 He's written some books. 32 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,627 He's been an attorney. 33 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:28,630 He's just been an absolute inspiration to so many. 34 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:31,800 And on Facebook, he has his, column called the Friday Fix 35 00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,469 that I look forward to every single Friday. 36 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:37,013 His wisdom that he imparts. 37 00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:40,058 But he's a real gentleman and just become a really good friend. 38 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:43,311 And welcome to our studio is here in Bradford, Connecticut. 39 00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:46,356 Carl Fix. And I'm so happy to meet you. 40 00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:47,899 You know, it's your article. 41 00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:52,070 It's it on Facebook also it's on Facebook and it's on LinkedIn. 42 00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:54,239 Okay. Every Friday. 43 00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:56,574 And this is what I call season six. 44 00:01:56,574 --> 00:01:58,701 Year. 45 00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:01,913 And I've posted continuously every Friday 46 00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:05,625 the Friday fix Friday fix a perfect name. 47 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,210 Yeah. Last name. 48 00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:10,463 But I tell I'm just really I've always been intrigued 49 00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:11,714 and really just, 50 00:02:11,714 --> 00:02:15,718 inspired by, by your career, you know, where you've come back in the day. 51 00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:18,096 I love the way you talk about your family. 52 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:21,099 I love the way you Revere your dad, your mom and dad. 53 00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:23,393 And that's really appealed to me in so many ways. 54 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:26,146 Tell us a little bit about you, Carl. Sure. 55 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:30,525 I, I grew up in central Connecticut, in Berlin, and, 56 00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:35,363 I went to college in Providence, and I decided at that time to go to law school. 57 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:39,033 It was, a bit of a default career. 58 00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:42,036 I was an engineering major for two months. 59 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:43,163 For two months? 60 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:46,166 There's got to be a story behind that. 61 00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:49,961 Yeah. 62 00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:53,214 It was a rollicking, right, right, rollicking flavor. 63 00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:53,756 I like that. 64 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,178 It was pretty much everything. 65 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:02,807 Returned to Connecticut 66 00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:06,186 and practiced for more than 30 years. 67 00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:11,107 And, I enjoyed the profession tremendously. 68 00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:14,152 I met some fantastic people and wonderful clients. 69 00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:18,448 But then I pivoted in 2021 for many reasons. 70 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,951 One of them was I did not think that I was fully 71 00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:24,954 in service to the community and others. 72 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:28,249 I did a lot of corporate law, which is basically moving 73 00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:31,252 money from one side of the ledger to the other. 74 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:35,215 And while it was satisfying at some point it became unsatisfying. 75 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:37,967 So I decided to make that pivot. 76 00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:42,555 Actually it's described in that book the difference on on my thought process, 77 00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:43,681 which I highly recommend. 78 00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:46,226 The difference please by that book. 79 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,810 My pivot came about. 80 00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,687 Yeah. 2021. 81 00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:51,773 Coming up on five. Wow. 82 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:54,567 And you've had a satisfying run since then right. 83 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,903 I mean has it been something that you've really 84 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,947 looking back saying wow, I did the right thing. 85 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:00,698 No regrets. 86 00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:01,908 No regrets at all. 87 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,911 Not a rearview mirror. 88 00:04:05,119 --> 00:04:08,456 I have very few, if any regrets. 89 00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:14,462 And I don't regret, leaving the practice of law aside from one major thing. 90 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:18,049 And that's the IT department at my old law firm, because now I have to figure out, 91 00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:21,177 Yeah. 92 00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:21,594 Same here. 93 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:23,805 I'm not the most technical person in the world at all. 94 00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:27,267 Having a, skilled IT department on speed dial. 95 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:28,768 Right, right. 96 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:29,477 Yeah. 97 00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:30,270 No longer. 98 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,854 Now, what do you mainly focus on nowadays? 99 00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:34,274 You're talking about being a service to other people. 100 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,777 You've been quite a consultant, a coach in so many ways, to so many 101 00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:41,155 while leadership training and, 102 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:44,617 rising executives that I help, one on one. 103 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:47,120 But I also do one too many. 104 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,122 It could be one to many. Yeah. 105 00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:53,501 Focusing a lot on emotional intelligence, 106 00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:57,463 which is something that I wish I knew more about back in the. 107 00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,590 Me too. 108 00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:00,258 Maybe two. 109 00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:03,261 Yeah. Same topic. 110 00:05:03,886 --> 00:05:06,806 We're sorely lacking in it, and, 111 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:11,352 I'm trying to do what I can to raise awareness about that. Yep. 112 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:12,854 2 million. You're right. Joyce. Go ahead. 113 00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:16,566 Well, when you meet with, someone, let's say the head of a company, 114 00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:19,402 and they need your guidance with something. 115 00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:22,405 Do you work on emotional intelligence with them? 116 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,576 Yes. And that that's been a training session that I've done 117 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:30,830 with a number of companies where, you know, between 6 and 10, 118 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:34,792 it could be C-suite executives, or it could be middle management. 119 00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:38,755 And we'll have, and it's it's fairly elastic. 120 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:41,215 I can do a two hour training session, a four hour. 121 00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:43,968 I can elongate it to six hours. 122 00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:47,263 And you take a really deep dive in the emotional intelligence. 123 00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:50,725 I mean the recent study 124 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,770 shows that only 36% of us 125 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:57,648 are able to understand or recognize our emotions, 126 00:05:58,941 --> 00:06:01,402 and we all act in response to those. 127 00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:04,405 And if you can't recognize them and 128 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:05,698 things can get out of control. 129 00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:10,161 So so you're telling them, explaining like how to recognize that 130 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:13,664 within yourself and others that you're having a meeting with. 131 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:14,374 Right. 132 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,377 Basically four principles self-awareness, self-management, 133 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:20,380 social awareness and relationship management. 134 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:24,092 So the self-awareness and the social awareness is 135 00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,594 basically are basically how you feel. 136 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,638 And then self-management and relationship 137 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:32,183 management is how you react to the way you feel. 138 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:36,521 So you can you can tease those things out and, 139 00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:41,984 have really robust and wonderful training sessions and get people talking. 140 00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:45,446 And, it's it's very rewarding. 141 00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:47,865 That's important to get people talking. 142 00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:50,701 It's not outlined in the book. The difference? 143 00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:52,870 No. That is not that. 144 00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:57,375 Emotional intelligence is something that, I've been working on after. 145 00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:58,251 Oh, okay. 146 00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,127 The different stripe. 147 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,170 Yeah. Because Carl has to. 148 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:01,754 Yeah. 149 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:04,465 But we we we got together for a business summit that Carl 150 00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:07,718 put together a couple years ago over in Avon, Connecticut. 151 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,011 And it was just great. 152 00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:12,682 A bunch of philanthropist business people getting together and just sharing 153 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:15,893 breakfast and lunch together, taking a walk up a mountain, out 154 00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:19,272 and out and out in the beautiful nature of of Avon, Connecticut. 155 00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:21,899 And we really developed friendships about that. 156 00:07:21,899 --> 00:07:26,154 And just we'd have free conversations and just share wisdom with each other 157 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:27,280 and learn from each other. 158 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,283 And I really, really like that and appreciated that so much. 159 00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:31,325 Wonderful to have you. 160 00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:34,078 And that was that was a wonderful day. 161 00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:37,290 I've done other since the outcomes and the, 162 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:41,252 I don't do it for the feedback. 163 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:44,797 I do it just to make a difference in somebody's life. 164 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:46,549 Life? Excuse me. 165 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:49,552 And, it's just a wonderful experience. 166 00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:51,596 You know, we'll we'll start, for instance. 167 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:52,221 Joyce. 168 00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:55,516 I'll say to everybody, just as an icebreaker of sorts. 169 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:59,395 Write down every emotion you felt in the last 24 hours. 170 00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:03,357 And people kind of look at me. 171 00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:06,068 But then they do and then we talk about it. 172 00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:10,031 And if you took an inventory of every emotion you had in the last 173 00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:13,034 24 hours, it would be quite the roller coaster. Yes. 174 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,620 You know, quite the roller coaster. 175 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:19,040 I remember one training session that nobody wanted to go first. 176 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,833 So I said I'll go first. 177 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:23,169 I said I felt nervous in the last 24 hours. 178 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,588 And they looked quizzically at me and said, why? 179 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:26,297 And I said, well, 180 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:29,842 I put my 18 year old daughter on a flight today with Delta Airlines. 181 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:32,887 So they now have care, custody and control of her, 182 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:35,932 and I hope they get her to Atlanta safely. 183 00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,099 And that made me nervous. 184 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:38,768 Yeah. 185 00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,645 That's a for instance. Wow. 186 00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:41,270 You know you were talking 187 00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:44,398 about emotional intelligence which I think is so important nowadays 188 00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:47,777 because most of us make decisions based on emotion and not pragmatism. 189 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:50,363 And that's what gets us into so much trouble. 190 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:53,366 And most of us react rather than respond. 191 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:54,784 Exactly. 192 00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:57,286 That's also gets us in trouble as well. 193 00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:59,997 So we need to have, you know, like a spiritual, mental, physical 194 00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:03,042 discipline, all of that stuff with the emotional intelligence, 195 00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:07,004 I think is so key, especially immediately under control. 196 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:09,715 Right. The more you work on it. Right. 197 00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:12,927 And most of us just kind of react right away without thinking. 198 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:15,054 And that can really get you in trouble, especially in 199 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:17,682 not just your personal life, but in business. 200 00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:18,391 Very much so. 201 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:22,270 And in the practice of law, I was, that can be an emotional, 202 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:24,981 profession. 203 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:25,690 Yeah. Yeah. 204 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:26,941 Sure, sure. 205 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:30,069 And, when I would mentor young lawyers, I would say, 206 00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:34,657 if you want to prepare an email with, some vitriol drafted 207 00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:40,913 and go back to it, because you may have to read that email in front of a judge. 208 00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:44,208 And, if you wouldn't read 209 00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:47,211 what you're about to write to your mother. Yes. 210 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,381 That is such a good point, because think about the times 211 00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:52,258 you've texted people, right? Choice. 212 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,384 And have you ever done that? 213 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:55,595 Send a text and go, oh, I shouldn't have done that. 214 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,138 Wait, before you send it. 215 00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:59,515 Especially if it's, 216 00:09:59,515 --> 00:10:02,518 kind of a challenging one and you wait 24 hours. 217 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:06,647 Read it again and you'll probably decide not to send it. 218 00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:09,066 Right. In most cases. 219 00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:11,944 And there's so much, so many other things lost in the text. 220 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:14,947 There's inflection. There's tone. 221 00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:15,740 Yeah. 222 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,284 There's just human. 223 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,994 Right. Humaneness. 224 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,078 Excuse me. 225 00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:24,373 So texting that's just as dangerous. 226 00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:25,249 Because the thing is, 227 00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:28,669 you don't know where that person's emotion is on the other side at the time. 228 00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:33,132 You know, they could be in a very, down state, 229 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:36,636 or they just had a fight with their wife or their kids, and they can respond to it 230 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,889 differently than if they were in a different state, a happier state. 231 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,307 So that's why I learned a long time ago. 232 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:45,269 I leave voice text with everybody because they can hear 233 00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:49,940 the inflection of my voice and and know that I'm saying it in the right way. 234 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:50,524 Yeah. 235 00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:51,734 And to your point, 236 00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:55,780 you absolutely have no idea what other people have on their plates. 237 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:59,492 And everybody has something on that respect. 238 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:02,703 Sure do. Period. Full stop. 239 00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:05,373 God crosses to bear and burdens. 240 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:08,584 Many of them cannot be seen to the naked eye. 241 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,295 So you need to be mindful about 242 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,214 drawing down on 243 00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:16,467 people because we're all carrying something. 244 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:18,177 Correct. Yeah. Yeah. 245 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,429 If you peel back the layers and everybody's battling something, 246 00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:21,389 we say all the time, be 247 00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:25,142 kind to everybody, you know, because everybody is battling something. 248 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:28,854 You wake up every single day and they may look like they have it 249 00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:33,150 all on the outside house, car, family, you know, the picket fence. 250 00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:37,113 But every one of us is battling something you can just pause 251 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:42,118 and take that deep breath, relax and think about that before you speak. 252 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,245 And you can do that in nanoseconds. 253 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:47,248 And once you keep doing that. Right. 254 00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:49,458 And yeah, checking in with people, you know. 255 00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,711 Yes. Yes. 256 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,838 You're very good at it. 257 00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:56,424 And it's not fox checking. 258 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,759 You're genuinely interested. Yeah. 259 00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:00,219 Last week's Friday, 260 00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:04,306 I got a comment from a friend 261 00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:07,309 and it wasn't ominous, but she said, 262 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:12,022 I'm paraphrasing this landed for me today because I've been going 263 00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:15,985 through a few things, so that was rather oblique. 264 00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:19,071 I have her cell number I texted her. 265 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:20,906 Are you okay. 266 00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:23,033 Can I help you. 267 00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,702 I just wanted to make sure she was okay. 268 00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:27,705 Based on that public Facebook comment. 269 00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:28,956 See that. 270 00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:30,875 But I feel weepy. 271 00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:33,294 Yes. I mean so much to someone. 272 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,129 You know how much it means to somebody 273 00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:38,132 if you just reach out to him and say, you know, I was just thinking about you. 274 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:38,799 Yeah. 275 00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:41,802 And for how that can make somebody's day. 276 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:45,431 Because most of us are so engrossed in our own lives. 277 00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:48,684 And I've learned a long time ago, Carl, if you're having a really tough day, 278 00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:52,521 reach out to somebody else and help them, and you'll forget about yourself. 279 00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:56,066 We're we're just too self-absorbed in so many ways. 280 00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:58,611 And I'm guilty of that at times. 281 00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,904 Well, we got to get out of our own way, 282 00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:02,239 realize that we're all here for each other. Yeah. 283 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:05,367 You know, your your comment is interesting in the difference. 284 00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:06,952 I go into a bit. 285 00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:10,498 My wife had four brothers, one of whom 286 00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:14,084 in 2014 disappeared in the state of Arizona. 287 00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:17,004 To date, has never been found. 288 00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:19,799 Now his father, my my father in law. 289 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,217 He's excuse me, was a rather, 290 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,513 prominent figure in the construction industry. 291 00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:28,599 And when they were still looking for my brother in law, Paul, 292 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:31,977 so many people came up to me and said, 293 00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:35,731 I want to talk to Angelo, my father in law, but I don't know what to say. 294 00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:40,569 And I would say to them, just reach out and say, hey, I'm thinking about you. 295 00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:41,946 That's it. 296 00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:43,697 You don't have to ask him a question. 297 00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:45,324 It doesn't have to be heavy. 298 00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:48,327 Just let him know you, whoever you are. 299 00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:50,496 You're thinking about him. 300 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:53,165 Yeah. Is it worth its weight in gold? 301 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:56,168 So that was my very simple advice. 302 00:13:58,045 --> 00:14:00,422 Many many years. 303 00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:02,758 I bet Matt is now going back 304 00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:05,845 to your law practice because every single lawyer has stories. 305 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:06,971 You know what. 306 00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,265 What was like the most challenging part of it. 307 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:13,310 Or do you have any kind of antidote to the story that's kind of like humorous or 308 00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:14,854 humorous? 309 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:15,938 Oh, yeah. 310 00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:19,275 But one thing that that 311 00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:23,904 the practice of why that a lot of people watch legal shows. 312 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:24,989 Oh, sure. 313 00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:27,908 Everything happens in 59 minutes. 314 00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:30,494 Doesn't work that way. 315 00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:32,788 I once litigated a case that took eight years. 316 00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:34,164 Eight years? 317 00:14:34,164 --> 00:14:38,085 Wow. That is, the litigation can be like an endurance sport. 318 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,420 Yeah. 319 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:40,588 You're a biker. 320 00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:41,422 I just love it. 321 00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,507 And so it kind of fit. 322 00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:46,135 But there were there were humorous events. 323 00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,971 I would take a deposition. 324 00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:52,516 My standard question is, what did you do to prepare for today's deposition? 325 00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:55,811 They'd say, oh, I read this, I reviewed this, I spoke to my lawyer. 326 00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:59,231 I had one guy who said, I brush my teeth. 327 00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:03,694 Okay. 328 00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,238 Where were you born? 329 00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:07,615 Kind of get some background. 330 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:10,618 And he says a woman's prison in Texas. 331 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:12,870 So I remain motionless. 332 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,622 He said you didn't see that one coming? 333 00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:20,002 Times like that. 334 00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:25,299 You know, and even in court, I was in Brooklyn federal court. 335 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:28,552 Now, federal judges, as we all know, are appointed for life 336 00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:31,639 so they can do pretty much what they want. 337 00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:34,058 And I was trying to move this case 338 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:37,061 out of Brooklyn and get it into Connecticut. 339 00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:40,522 And the judge takes the bench and he says all right whose attorney fix. 340 00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:43,025 I said that's me, Your Honor. 341 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:46,028 He said, what's your problem with Brooklyn? 342 00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:51,533 Your Honor, he said, well, apparently 343 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:54,536 you do you want to take this case from me and move it to Connecticut? 344 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:55,496 Right. 345 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:56,664 That's correct. 346 00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:59,458 He said, tell me one good thing about Brooklyn 347 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:02,378 when you come to Brooklyn, what's a good thing about Brooklyn? 348 00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:06,173 And I said, I get to read the late city final of the New York Post. 349 00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:11,261 Well, that's reason enough to keep the case. 350 00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:15,599 Right. Wow. 351 00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:16,976 And the client called. 352 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:17,559 How did it go? 353 00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:19,561 Well, it was fun, but I. 354 00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:22,439 Right. 355 00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:23,649 So. Yeah, 356 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:27,820 like that where you would just you would just get a lot of laughs. 357 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:31,573 There were also very somber, very serious times. 358 00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:35,995 And I'll give you, for instance, when I was a very young lawyer, I defended 359 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:39,415 an after a garbage truck 360 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:42,251 had rolled over to women, 361 00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:45,045 killing one, young woman. 362 00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:47,965 Her leg was amputated on site. 363 00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:50,217 And I will never forget this. 364 00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:52,219 Long as I live. 365 00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:56,098 She was giving a deposition and and the lawyer said. 366 00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:58,392 Do you remember what you said at the scene? 367 00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:01,562 She said, absolutely. And what did you say? 368 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:04,857 Will the flight surgeon or the flight nurse was holding my hand? 369 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:08,068 And the fighter says everything will be okay. 370 00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:11,030 And I said, no, my leg is over there. 371 00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:13,240 And I'll never forget that. The clarity, 372 00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:15,409 yeah. 373 00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:20,205 And to think, to say that, to say that the the awareness. 374 00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,041 That critical. 375 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:22,750 Yeah. Yeah. 376 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:27,838 And, that was a big part of that case getting settled 377 00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:29,923 because this woman would have been. 378 00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:32,885 Oh, fantastic. Yes. Yes. 379 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:37,389 So there were I have dozens of those anecdotes from mom, 380 00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,225 plus a practice. 381 00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:43,854 It's, it's a very interesting and a rewarding career. 382 00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:46,231 So you think you made a difference? 383 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,067 I'd like. I'd like to think so. 384 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:53,155 And I've said this on other podcasts and in training sessions. 385 00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:56,575 You know, I dealt with a lot of multi-million dollar stuff. 386 00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:59,828 Yeah. Helped other folks. 387 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,539 There was a friend of mine who got into a dust up 388 00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:06,835 over the closing of his house, and I stepped in and we resolved that. 389 00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:11,799 He wrote, you know, he and his wife, he said, girl, thank you for believing in us. 390 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,384 That was it. Wow. 391 00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:14,968 And you probably. 392 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:17,096 And I bet you saved it, right? 393 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,305 Not a lot of words. 394 00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:18,597 Yeah. 395 00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:20,724 Thank you for believing in us. Right. 396 00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:23,644 Because nobody before did. Yeah. 397 00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:26,688 So, yeah, that was very, very, very fun. 398 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:27,356 Yeah. 399 00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,777 So can you tell me 400 00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:35,405 I want to talk to you about forgiveness because you brought that up. 401 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:38,784 And forgiveness has really changed my life. 402 00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:41,995 So can you share something about 403 00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:44,206 how that related to your life. 404 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,917 Like whether it was when 405 00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:49,920 I, I don't know, I almost want to say. 406 00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:53,006 Was there a pivotal moment in your life, whether 407 00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:56,635 when you left being an attorney to go on 408 00:18:56,635 --> 00:19:00,013 to do something else, the forgiveness has something to do with that? 409 00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:01,348 No forgiveness. 410 00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:04,643 And I, I write about that in the wisdom collection. 411 00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:06,728 Is that available now? 412 00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:09,106 The wisdom collection. Okay. 413 00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:11,191 That is another anthology. 414 00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:15,737 I've got a chapter in there, and it's called Here to Forgive. 415 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:21,493 And, my another one of my brother in law was was involved 416 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:26,206 in the corruption scandal involving Governor Rowland 20 plus years ago. 417 00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:28,250 Right. 418 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:32,713 So, without giving away everything that's in that book, suffice it 419 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:36,592 to say that I was a little salty about what went down 420 00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:41,305 and, how he seemingly had everything and squandered it. 421 00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:46,518 And I was driving to federal court, 422 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:50,689 New Haven, to sit through his sentencing after he pled guilty. 423 00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:54,735 And despite my personal feelings, I asked my brother in law, 424 00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:56,737 what can I do to help him? 425 00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:59,698 And at the time, there was a 91 year old rabbi 426 00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:02,659 in New Britain who was a rock star. 427 00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:06,914 And he said, would you give the rabbi a ride to court? 428 00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:07,873 I said, sure. 429 00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:10,459 So my wife and I picked up the rabbi. 430 00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:13,462 And in that plus or -one hour journey 431 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:17,758 turned me around, gave me a I did a 180 listening to him. 432 00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:21,011 He said multiple times he, meaning my brother in law, 433 00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:24,223 needs our forgiveness and needs our love. 434 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:28,310 And the rabbi survived the night of broken glass in 1938. 435 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,311 He was a survivor. 436 00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:33,232 Wow. And, he said he was. 437 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:35,692 He was a survivor. 438 00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:39,571 And because he survived, he was put on this earth to be God's helper. 439 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:44,076 And he basically said, if you, are dismissive 440 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,995 and not forgiving you, you then think less of people. 441 00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:51,500 That that you are above them and they are beneath you. 442 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,710 But everybody was the same. 443 00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:56,964 So he opted to live a life of, 444 00:20:57,381 --> 00:21:01,051 embracing anyone and everyone despite whatever flaws they may have. 445 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:06,431 So in the course of that ride, I thought, well, this guy survived. 446 00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:10,435 What the Nazis did to him, and he forgave them. 447 00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:14,064 And I could, in fact, forgive my brother, 448 00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:17,609 which I did in the course of that. Right. 449 00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:22,322 And then that set up, us going forward 450 00:21:22,322 --> 00:21:27,619 and my wife and her two daughters would visit him in prison on Saturdays. 451 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:32,457 And that led to a more, robust relationship. 452 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:36,253 And I quote Mandela in that book, and 453 00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:39,214 resentment is like drinking poison, and, you know, it's 454 00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:41,425 going to impact the other guy. Yes. 455 00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:44,052 Wasn't that so liberating for you? Yes. 456 00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:47,306 Yes. So I didn't 457 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:51,143 the rabbi helped me not drink the poison, basically. Yes. 458 00:21:51,518 --> 00:21:55,731 So that is what my chapter in the wisdom collection is about. 459 00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:57,983 It's about forgiveness. 460 00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:02,154 And believe me, when I got in that car and picked up the rabbi, 461 00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:05,282 I was not in a forgiving. 462 00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:07,117 You needed that, Rabbi I needed. 463 00:22:07,117 --> 00:22:08,368 Yes. Yeah. 464 00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:10,912 Amen. Live to 100. And. 465 00:22:10,912 --> 00:22:12,664 Really? Wow. 466 00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:14,124 Forgave everybody. Maybe. 467 00:22:14,124 --> 00:22:16,251 Maybe that's just how we live. 468 00:22:16,251 --> 00:22:17,377 Longer and better. 469 00:22:17,377 --> 00:22:21,006 He preached four or had the Connecticut Department 470 00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:25,010 of Veterans Affairs, and I quote an official with that department 471 00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:28,013 who said the rabbi would reach in 472 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:31,308 and squeeze your heart. 473 00:22:31,558 --> 00:22:34,144 Wow, what a visual, Yes. 474 00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:37,147 Was your heart was remarkable. And, 475 00:22:38,231 --> 00:22:41,985 you know, I point out in the in the chapter that I was in the presence we, 476 00:22:41,985 --> 00:22:46,114 my wife and I of greatness, not the Hollywood glitterati. 477 00:22:46,281 --> 00:22:49,201 Yeah. And the rest of that, I'm talking. 478 00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:52,537 Oskar Schindler and Martin Luther King. 479 00:22:52,537 --> 00:22:57,084 I mean, this rabbi was a spectacular man, 480 00:22:57,876 --> 00:23:01,671 and he, he changed things for me. 481 00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:02,547 Yeah. 482 00:23:02,547 --> 00:23:03,382 And I'll tell you, Carl, 483 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:06,635 I've become a lot more forgiving as my faith is deepened, 484 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:09,137 because I think about all the stupid stuff I do every day. 485 00:23:09,137 --> 00:23:10,138 And God forgives me 486 00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:12,224 each and every day. 487 00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:14,476 He never turns his back on me. 488 00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:15,143 I think about that. 489 00:23:15,143 --> 00:23:21,650 I hold this unforgiveness for years, for years, and I manifest in the body. 490 00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:24,111 It eats the inside of you out. 491 00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:27,531 And then when I let go, you know, it was, 492 00:23:28,907 --> 00:23:32,035 it was like, I can't even put into words. 493 00:23:32,494 --> 00:23:32,828 Yeah. 494 00:23:32,828 --> 00:23:36,832 You know, what I felt like and how it affected the other person. 495 00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:39,209 And I didn't even have to tell them. 496 00:23:39,209 --> 00:23:41,753 I didn't even have to say I forgive you. 497 00:23:41,753 --> 00:23:44,423 I just showed up 498 00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:47,426 and everything just worked out and probably like with you. 499 00:23:47,843 --> 00:23:50,429 Yeah. It was a it was a clarifying moment. 500 00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:52,472 It really was. 501 00:23:52,472 --> 00:23:54,683 But I go into a little more detail. Yeah. 502 00:23:54,683 --> 00:23:58,395 That's the sermon substance that I had the good fortune. 503 00:23:58,395 --> 00:23:59,396 I was blessed to, 504 00:24:00,897 --> 00:24:04,401 spend time with this incredible man. Wow. 505 00:24:05,402 --> 00:24:06,069 Tell us about. 506 00:24:06,069 --> 00:24:09,573 You are really, really big into fitness as well as Joyce and I are. 507 00:24:09,573 --> 00:24:12,159 And you love the bike. 508 00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:14,619 So pulling on the emotional intelligence thread, 509 00:24:14,619 --> 00:24:16,830 you've got the self-awareness and self-management. 510 00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:21,293 I'm firmly in the camp of if you can't manage yourself, you can't manage others. 511 00:24:21,751 --> 00:24:25,881 And part of that self-management, I think, is just maintaining 512 00:24:26,715 --> 00:24:30,385 your mental, your emotional and your physical well-being. 513 00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:35,182 So I walk the walk and talk to talk, 514 00:24:35,182 --> 00:24:38,602 and I invent a lot of physical fitness. 515 00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:42,147 Because that's what keeps me resourceful. 516 00:24:43,023 --> 00:24:44,733 I talk about the wheels service. 517 00:24:44,733 --> 00:24:48,487 If you think you're in the center of this wheel and the spokes are 518 00:24:49,029 --> 00:24:52,491 family, friends, community colleagues, clients. 519 00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:56,077 What a great metaphor for what you do for physical fitness I love it. 520 00:24:56,411 --> 00:24:59,414 And, church groups elder care. 521 00:24:59,414 --> 00:25:03,210 And if you're not showing up in vertical, the whole real wobbles. 522 00:25:04,252 --> 00:25:07,255 So, And I have fun with it. 523 00:25:08,089 --> 00:25:10,842 You know, I turned 62 last October, 524 00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:13,887 so I went off road 62 miles an hour. Wow. 525 00:25:14,888 --> 00:25:16,348 And then every mile was. 526 00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:19,309 I thought about a year in my life. 527 00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:21,353 And I was thinking on the write down. 528 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:23,688 Miles 20 through 30 were. 529 00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:25,774 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. 530 00:25:25,774 --> 00:25:27,359 Yeah. 531 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:31,613 You know, so every every mile represented, a year in my life. 532 00:25:31,821 --> 00:25:32,989 Yeah. 533 00:25:32,989 --> 00:25:35,575 God willing, when I turned 63 in October, 534 00:25:35,575 --> 00:25:39,037 I'll go out and ride 63 miles straight. 535 00:25:39,079 --> 00:25:41,540 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just. 536 00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:42,207 That's what I do. 537 00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:43,625 And you get in that zone, don't you? 538 00:25:43,625 --> 00:25:45,043 Where you can feel like you can go forever. 539 00:25:45,043 --> 00:25:47,963 Once you hit that certain groove. 540 00:25:47,963 --> 00:25:50,840 So it not only makes me feel good and helps me show up, 541 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:53,843 but I get to create moments. 542 00:25:54,803 --> 00:25:56,930 With my daughters, I have a 25 year old daughter 543 00:25:56,930 --> 00:26:00,642 and 21 year old daughter and, well, what are their names? 544 00:26:01,101 --> 00:26:03,311 Oldest is Leah. The youngest is Sarah. 545 00:26:03,311 --> 00:26:04,771 And your bride, Carol. 546 00:26:06,022 --> 00:26:07,524 I've. 547 00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:09,401 I've run road races with Leah, 548 00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:13,280 and as I run, I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world. 549 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,491 I get to run this race with my daughter. 550 00:26:17,701 --> 00:26:20,120 My youngest is at Auburn University. 551 00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:22,080 She's coming home this weekend. 552 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,708 She texted me this morning and said, hey, 553 00:26:24,708 --> 00:26:27,711 you want to go skiing on Saturday? 554 00:26:28,378 --> 00:26:30,005 Yeah. 555 00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:33,049 If I if I'm not in shape, I can't do that. 556 00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:35,635 So these are just more connections. 557 00:26:35,635 --> 00:26:39,556 But I also, I'm modeling certain behavior and I'm not going. 558 00:26:39,556 --> 00:26:42,475 Well. Yes. Intentionally. I'm going to correct myself. 559 00:26:42,475 --> 00:26:46,730 I'm modeling this behavior for them, saying, hey, this is work for me. 560 00:26:46,938 --> 00:26:49,899 So I invite you to be curious. 561 00:26:49,899 --> 00:26:50,734 I love that phrase. 562 00:26:50,734 --> 00:26:52,110 I invite you to be curious. 563 00:26:52,110 --> 00:26:54,571 That's that is that's great wisdom there. 564 00:26:54,571 --> 00:26:57,741 Well I like it because it's not preachy. 565 00:26:58,408 --> 00:27:02,996 My training sessions I will lay out what worked for me 566 00:27:02,996 --> 00:27:06,750 in a very high stress career 567 00:27:07,250 --> 00:27:10,754 and I, I give them what worked for me. 568 00:27:10,754 --> 00:27:14,549 And I say if I invite you to be curious you can try one. 569 00:27:14,549 --> 00:27:15,634 You can try them all. 570 00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:18,178 You can reject one, reject them all. 571 00:27:18,178 --> 00:27:19,971 This is what worked for me. 572 00:27:19,971 --> 00:27:21,139 See if it works for you. 573 00:27:22,515 --> 00:27:24,559 Because I it's not there's no staples. 574 00:27:24,559 --> 00:27:25,393 Easy button. 575 00:27:25,393 --> 00:27:29,147 I'm not saying if you do this, all your problems will disappear. 576 00:27:29,689 --> 00:27:32,692 All I know is to to work the 70 hour weeks. 577 00:27:32,734 --> 00:27:34,402 I needed the physical. 578 00:27:34,402 --> 00:27:35,570 Absolutely. 579 00:27:35,570 --> 00:27:38,531 In the morning because then nobody can take it from. 580 00:27:38,531 --> 00:27:41,034 The day gets in the way. 581 00:27:41,034 --> 00:27:43,119 I do the same thing first thing in the morning. 582 00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:46,498 You know, do my 20 minutes of meditation in motion. 583 00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:50,627 Tai chi every single morning after I do my prayer for work. 584 00:27:51,002 --> 00:27:52,879 And it just sets the tone for the whole day 585 00:27:52,879 --> 00:27:55,882 because God gave us an amazing temple 586 00:27:56,257 --> 00:27:57,217 to steward. 587 00:27:57,217 --> 00:27:58,593 And we need to take care of this joy. 588 00:27:58,593 --> 00:27:59,969 So I know you do the same thing. 589 00:27:59,969 --> 00:28:02,847 Well, I was just invited to write an article. 590 00:28:02,847 --> 00:28:05,934 The Connecticut Bar Association has a magazine, CQ lawyer, 591 00:28:06,476 --> 00:28:09,479 and I was just invited to write an article on the term wellness. 592 00:28:09,479 --> 00:28:11,690 Just the general topic of attorney wellness. 593 00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:13,566 No specific. Right? 594 00:28:13,566 --> 00:28:18,530 I just submitted the article, and it's basically about the asset. 595 00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:21,533 Your body is your asset. 596 00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:24,327 And what I talk about is 597 00:28:24,327 --> 00:28:29,249 newly minted lawyers are bombarded with, offers all around finance, 598 00:28:29,749 --> 00:28:33,086 disability insurance, long term care insurance, life 599 00:28:33,086 --> 00:28:37,132 insurance for own case, mutual funds, all talking about 600 00:28:39,718 --> 00:28:42,554 Nobody talks about the asset that produces 601 00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:46,182 the money that you need to protect from creditors. 602 00:28:46,766 --> 00:28:49,310 Well, creditors in real life are anxiety, 603 00:28:49,310 --> 00:28:52,313 depression and addiction and all. 604 00:28:52,522 --> 00:28:55,608 So why don't we protect the asset to keep 605 00:28:55,608 --> 00:28:59,654 those creditors at bay and then everything else will follow. 606 00:29:00,155 --> 00:29:01,322 Oh, I love that. 607 00:29:01,322 --> 00:29:03,742 What an illustration really is. 608 00:29:03,742 --> 00:29:05,994 That's pretty much what I'm talking about. 609 00:29:05,994 --> 00:29:10,832 And interestingly, lawyers have what's known as the rules of professional 610 00:29:10,832 --> 00:29:11,458 conduct. 611 00:29:11,458 --> 00:29:14,461 If you have a license, you are duty bound to follow them. 612 00:29:15,962 --> 00:29:18,798 One of the first rules is that a lawyer 613 00:29:18,798 --> 00:29:22,260 must represent clients competently. 614 00:29:23,511 --> 00:29:26,473 And competence is defined as the mental, 615 00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:29,476 emotional and physical ability to do the work. 616 00:29:30,477 --> 00:29:32,854 So what I'm saying is right there in that room 617 00:29:32,854 --> 00:29:37,984 confidence talks about the mental emotional physical well-being is wellness. 618 00:29:38,067 --> 00:29:41,070 Yeah. So we're actually duty bound. 619 00:29:41,696 --> 00:29:44,699 And a lot of people just gloss over that, right. 620 00:29:44,991 --> 00:29:47,327 But that applies to really. Yeah it does. 621 00:29:48,495 --> 00:29:50,079 Pilots are taken out of service 622 00:29:50,079 --> 00:29:53,166 if they if they have a certain number of hours, commercial truck drivers, 623 00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:57,086 surgeons, all of that, you think about those professions. 624 00:29:57,545 --> 00:30:00,256 Those are personality flaws. 625 00:30:00,256 --> 00:30:03,218 They're they're it's risk management. Yes. 626 00:30:03,551 --> 00:30:05,637 And that applies to a lot of professions. 627 00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:07,639 Carl if somebody wants to get in touch with you with 628 00:30:07,639 --> 00:30:11,059 well let's show that book one more time to there is a lot of wisdom here today 629 00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:15,146 because somebody wants to get in touch with you for coaching. 630 00:30:15,146 --> 00:30:18,233 I mean, I've learned so much just sitting with you, but I've had a chance. 631 00:30:18,233 --> 00:30:22,529 The the privilege of calling you a friend and deepening a friendship. 632 00:30:22,529 --> 00:30:25,949 But if somebody wants to get in touch with you for some coaching, small group. 633 00:30:25,949 --> 00:30:27,617 Large group. How do they do that? 634 00:30:27,617 --> 00:30:29,786 Right on my website, Carl. 635 00:30:29,786 --> 00:30:32,789 And we'll have that link and we'll have that link. 636 00:30:32,997 --> 00:30:35,917 Yeah. Or email me Carl and Carl. 637 00:30:35,917 --> 00:30:37,502 Can you make it me real simple. 638 00:30:37,502 --> 00:30:40,296 But thank you so much for all you contribute to the world, Carl. 639 00:30:40,296 --> 00:30:41,256 So much for having me. 640 00:30:42,382 --> 00:30:44,968 You've been a great guest and it has. 641 00:30:44,968 --> 00:30:46,678 And thank you so much for tuning in to what's good. 642 00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:50,515 But John and Joyce 30 minutes every week of hopefully inspirational, 643 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:54,060 uplifting and and feel free to subscribe on YouTube. 644 00:30:54,060 --> 00:30:57,564 It's free and share it with everybody you know who needs 645 00:30:57,730 --> 00:31:00,650 a 30 minute fix of what's good. 646 00:31:00,650 --> 00:31:02,861 Till next time. God bless. 647 00:31:02,861 --> 00:31:05,113 Now. Hey, I heard you got engaged. 648 00:31:05,113 --> 00:31:06,281 Congratulations. 649 00:31:06,281 --> 00:31:08,116 Now it's time to book the DJ. 650 00:31:08,116 --> 00:31:09,075 And that's where we come in. 651 00:31:09,075 --> 00:31:11,744 Hi, I'm John Cadillac, Seville with John Seville entertainment. 652 00:31:11,744 --> 00:31:15,123 Wedding wire and the knot 2026 Couples Choice Awards winner. 653 00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:16,541 You can call me directly if you'd like it. 654 00:31:16,541 --> 00:31:18,877 (200) 398-8065 eight. 655 00:31:18,877 --> 00:31:22,380 We'll set up your free consultation or go to John cashman.com. 656 00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:26,843 That's (203) 988-0658 or John cashman.com. 657 00:31:26,843 --> 00:31:30,054 We offer excellent peace of mind and a great time 658 00:31:30,054 --> 00:31:34,058 for all John Seville Entertainment a name you know and can trust.