WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:07.049 --> 00:00:09.359 Candace Dellacona: Welcome to the Sandwich Generation Survival Guide. 00:00:09.359 --> 00:00:16.319 I am your host, Candace Dellacona, and I have a special guest for everyone today. 00:00:16.589 --> 00:00:20.669 My friend and fellow lawyer, Michele Katz, is joining us. 00:00:21.009 --> 00:00:24.909 We have Michele on the podcast today, not so that we can talk shop 00:00:24.909 --> 00:00:26.679 about being lawyers, right, Michele? 00:00:27.039 --> 00:00:29.739 Um, right, not today. 00:00:30.069 --> 00:00:37.569 We have an amazing story to share with all of you and to talk about Michele's 00:00:37.739 --> 00:00:44.969 passion, which has resulted in the amazing Plus One Adoption Foundation. 00:00:44.969 --> 00:00:51.719 So we're gonna talk about all things adoption today, and what Michele and her 00:00:51.719 --> 00:00:54.209 team at Plus One Adoption Foundation. 00:00:54.564 --> 00:01:00.054 Is doing for people and families who are looking to grow their own family. 00:01:00.054 --> 00:01:01.734 So thank you for being here, Michele. 00:01:02.259 --> 00:01:04.539 Michele Katz: It's my pleasure and honor to be here with you. 00:01:04.539 --> 00:01:05.529 Thanks for the invite. 00:01:05.574 --> 00:01:06.624 Candace Dellacona: Yeah, so excited. 00:01:06.624 --> 00:01:08.394 So let's get into it. 00:01:08.394 --> 00:01:11.214 For those of you who don't know, Michele, Michele is a brilliant 00:01:11.214 --> 00:01:12.594 intellectual property attorney. 00:01:12.594 --> 00:01:14.454 We're in two separate parts of the country. 00:01:14.454 --> 00:01:16.074 Michele is in Chicago. 00:01:16.434 --> 00:01:18.804 I'm here in New York City, as our listeners know. 00:01:19.084 --> 00:01:21.484 Michele and I have crossed paths professionally. 00:01:22.264 --> 00:01:25.324 Aside from the fact that she's a brilliant attorney, she is 00:01:25.324 --> 00:01:30.964 incredibly passionate about the adoption world and the way in which 00:01:30.964 --> 00:01:33.184 adoption can really grow your family. 00:01:33.184 --> 00:01:37.594 So let's get into it and we'll talk about Plus One and your background. 00:01:37.594 --> 00:01:39.214 So we know you're a mom of four. 00:01:39.374 --> 00:01:40.004 Michele Katz: That's right. 00:01:40.424 --> 00:01:42.014 So I have two boys and two girls. 00:01:42.554 --> 00:01:45.489 It's like where do we begin in this storyline? 00:01:45.489 --> 00:01:48.249 'Cause it is, it was quite a journey to get here. 00:01:48.479 --> 00:01:50.249 As it is for so many families. 00:01:50.249 --> 00:01:54.809 It's how are we going to create our family for those that want children, right? 00:01:54.859 --> 00:01:59.959 If I think back to when I first started thinking about adoption, I was in college. 00:02:00.559 --> 00:02:05.649 I was walking across a field with my then boyfriend, now husband. 00:02:06.294 --> 00:02:09.504 It seemed like outta the blue, I said, I wanna adopt a child one day. 00:02:09.984 --> 00:02:11.214 Literally, I said that to him. 00:02:11.604 --> 00:02:12.224 he said cool. 00:02:12.494 --> 00:02:14.894 And he just kept walking and I was like, all right. 00:02:14.894 --> 00:02:16.034 So I just put a pin in that. 00:02:17.429 --> 00:02:21.839 And then when we got married and eventually we wanted to start a family, 00:02:22.229 --> 00:02:24.829 we started fertility treatments. 00:02:24.829 --> 00:02:29.519 My husband is a cancer survivor, so that was part of our history and 00:02:29.519 --> 00:02:33.519 I'm like, well, let's do both at the same time, and I kid you not. 00:02:33.609 --> 00:02:38.349 At 40 weeks we got a call that our daughter was ready. 00:02:38.514 --> 00:02:40.164 Candace Dellacona: So you're about to have a baby. 00:02:40.854 --> 00:02:42.384 Michele Katz: Well, we did, we weren't pregnant yet. 00:02:42.414 --> 00:02:42.834 Okay. 00:02:42.834 --> 00:02:42.954 That 00:02:43.014 --> 00:02:44.034 didn't happen later. 00:02:44.124 --> 00:02:45.054 That happened later. 00:02:45.444 --> 00:02:45.834 Candace Dellacona: Got it. 00:02:46.104 --> 00:02:50.484 Michele Katz: But I tell people like if you're, wanna increase 00:02:50.484 --> 00:02:52.644 your odds in whatever it is, right? 00:02:52.644 --> 00:02:54.144 We're goal oriented women. 00:02:54.204 --> 00:02:54.474 Candace Dellacona: Yes. 00:02:55.944 --> 00:03:00.204 Michele Katz: Then I just ran things at the same time and my adopted daughter 00:03:00.204 --> 00:03:04.974 came first and I got that phone call at 40 weeks, basically gestational. 00:03:05.424 --> 00:03:10.904 And we, two weeks later with a the first 12 months for dummies, we hopped 00:03:10.904 --> 00:03:12.704 on a plane and we headed to Columbia. 00:03:13.524 --> 00:03:14.014 Candace Dellacona: Amazing. 00:03:15.224 --> 00:03:16.214 Michele Katz: Now, she was an infant. 00:03:16.244 --> 00:03:17.594 She was only four months old. 00:03:18.554 --> 00:03:23.234 She's now, just so you get perspective, she's now 19 and turning 20 00:03:23.354 --> 00:03:23.774 Candace Dellacona: Yep. 00:03:24.554 --> 00:03:27.764 Michele Katz: And just this summer she interned at the 00:03:27.764 --> 00:03:29.654 orphanage we adopted her from. 00:03:29.744 --> 00:03:30.504 Candace Dellacona: Oh my gosh. 00:03:30.564 --> 00:03:30.904 I love that. 00:03:30.904 --> 00:03:32.314 Michele Katz: So she got to go back. 00:03:32.804 --> 00:03:36.704 She got to get her file because at 18 it becomes accessible to you. 00:03:36.704 --> 00:03:40.179 Once it's you have the wherewithal to try to figure out those steps and we 00:03:40.179 --> 00:03:41.619 thought, you know what, it's easier. 00:03:41.619 --> 00:03:42.549 Go down there. 00:03:42.549 --> 00:03:47.039 It's college, summer, let's beef up that resume, work on your Spanish. 00:03:47.339 --> 00:03:53.109 And really for so many reasons it was such a great idea for her to go down there. 00:03:53.109 --> 00:03:56.079 We've got very good friends that she stayed with and she did a 00:03:56.079 --> 00:03:57.249 month long internship there. 00:03:57.909 --> 00:03:59.709 And of course now we're at the end of the summer. 00:03:59.709 --> 00:04:04.929 She's back at school and right before she left, I did a 30 minute interview 00:04:04.959 --> 00:04:07.629 with her, which I'll talk about later. 00:04:08.079 --> 00:04:10.629 We'll get posted in the Plus One Adoption Foundation. 00:04:11.079 --> 00:04:13.389 Candace Dellacona: So that's how your journey began 00:04:13.629 --> 00:04:14.709 Michele Katz: that's what all began. 00:04:15.489 --> 00:04:17.019 That's what all began then. 00:04:17.099 --> 00:04:18.329 We have a blended family. 00:04:18.449 --> 00:04:23.899 I ended up carrying two boys after that and we joked like we wanted another girl. 00:04:23.929 --> 00:04:27.529 We clearly don't make girls, so let's go back to Columbia. 00:04:27.799 --> 00:04:31.039 All right, so that's of course we're fast forwarding many, many years. 00:04:32.389 --> 00:04:33.859 We did go back to Columbia. 00:04:34.099 --> 00:04:36.859 Just imagine it's December of 2019. 00:04:36.859 --> 00:04:40.124 We have no idea what's ahead of us as far as COVID and all the things. 00:04:41.329 --> 00:04:45.349 And we'd already done the baby bag, the bottles, the diaper. 00:04:45.379 --> 00:04:49.489 We'd already done all that and we thought, okay, let's adopt an older child. 00:04:49.519 --> 00:04:51.409 And we adopted a little girl. 00:04:51.729 --> 00:04:53.559 Well not so little eight years old. 00:04:54.189 --> 00:04:56.379 And that was a totally different experience. 00:04:56.589 --> 00:05:01.989 This is where the seeds were planted for the Plus One Adoption Foundation. 00:05:01.989 --> 00:05:04.779 So it was a very different experience when you adopt an older child. 00:05:06.054 --> 00:05:09.764 You in our case anyway, we spent more time at the orphanage and 00:05:09.764 --> 00:05:12.734 it was a different orphanage than where our eldest was adopted from. 00:05:12.734 --> 00:05:16.944 So we we'd already done the paperwork all that, but you end 00:05:16.944 --> 00:05:18.714 up spending more time there. 00:05:18.954 --> 00:05:19.404 Okay. 00:05:19.714 --> 00:05:26.494 She being eight years old, we were working on certain, language barrier, 00:05:26.524 --> 00:05:28.114 acclimation, things like that. 00:05:28.114 --> 00:05:28.534 It's different. 00:05:28.564 --> 00:05:30.904 It's a little bit different as you can imagine. 00:05:31.174 --> 00:05:33.904 If you were an 8-year-old girl and you're meeting these people for the first time. 00:05:33.904 --> 00:05:38.554 But I will tell you then we, when we met her, she ran and jumped into our arms. 00:05:38.734 --> 00:05:43.854 We were able to do like a call before like a Zoom type call before. 00:05:44.154 --> 00:05:49.614 And we sent her a book of pictures of the family, that you can make online. 00:05:49.614 --> 00:05:50.934 And we sent that down. 00:05:50.934 --> 00:05:53.904 And so she was able to get to know us a little bit. 00:05:54.624 --> 00:05:56.964 Just to give people a little bit of, in insight 00:05:57.254 --> 00:05:57.544 Candace Dellacona: Yeah, 00:05:58.164 --> 00:06:01.434 Michele Katz: into how that works, at least for in our situation. 00:06:02.034 --> 00:06:10.134 And then we were in country working on the rest of the paperwork and 00:06:10.134 --> 00:06:11.844 court, getting everything official. 00:06:11.844 --> 00:06:14.874 Everything's quite official there in Columbia, and so 00:06:14.979 --> 00:06:16.639 Candace Dellacona: And what's the timeframe for that, Michele? 00:06:16.659 --> 00:06:20.619 So you arrive in Columbia and how long were you in country? 00:06:21.354 --> 00:06:23.184 Michele Katz: Only two weeks. 00:06:23.184 --> 00:06:25.704 So, you know, I let, that's not very long. 00:06:26.139 --> 00:06:26.359 Candace Dellacona: no. 00:06:26.574 --> 00:06:32.544 Michele Katz: And so we were, we got home December 31st, 2019. 00:06:32.734 --> 00:06:34.444 And she'd never seen snow before. 00:06:34.534 --> 00:06:36.214 She'd never been on a plane before. 00:06:36.754 --> 00:06:39.904 When we left the orphanage just to get to the hotel we were staying 00:06:39.904 --> 00:06:41.744 at, she asked, are we in Chicago? 00:06:41.844 --> 00:06:42.504 I'm like, no, honey. 00:06:42.504 --> 00:06:44.424 And we showed her the map and everything. 00:06:44.424 --> 00:06:49.254 And it's just so hard to understand as a child sheltered, like really 00:06:49.284 --> 00:06:52.554 hadn't had that kind of exposure to anything international. 00:06:52.704 --> 00:06:59.274 And contrast that to our first adoption where there was a strike. 00:07:00.654 --> 00:07:03.944 We speak Spanish in the house, but at that time with our first 00:07:03.944 --> 00:07:06.014 adoption, my Spanish, I was new. 00:07:06.224 --> 00:07:11.384 I was definitely newer, much newer to Spanish and I knew the word huelga, like 00:07:11.744 --> 00:07:13.334 who knows the word strike in a form. 00:07:13.364 --> 00:07:14.744 You know, we're like that word. 00:07:14.834 --> 00:07:17.834 I knew the first time around because there was a strike and 00:07:17.834 --> 00:07:19.604 I was there for nine weeks. 00:07:19.734 --> 00:07:20.054 Candace Dellacona: Wow. 00:07:20.054 --> 00:07:20.734 Okay. 00:07:20.734 --> 00:07:22.364 Michele Katz: With a baby. 00:07:23.324 --> 00:07:26.869 And that, that's a whole nother, that's a whole nother podcast. 00:07:27.139 --> 00:07:30.349 But all that is to say is I do think the universe evened itself 00:07:30.349 --> 00:07:32.659 out with this two week in and out. 00:07:32.929 --> 00:07:33.349 Okay. 00:07:33.349 --> 00:07:36.649 And we made it home before New Year's, and it was snowing. 00:07:37.009 --> 00:07:43.669 So if you could imagine, we pull up in the taxi to the house, and as we're 00:07:43.669 --> 00:07:49.384 walking up the stairs to get to the front door, she's grazing her little 00:07:49.384 --> 00:07:54.594 fingers along the stairs to touch the snow, and then went in and then we 00:07:54.594 --> 00:07:57.574 showed her to her room, like her room. 00:07:58.414 --> 00:08:01.054 I don't know if she had ever had her room before. 00:08:01.584 --> 00:08:03.174 She was sharing with my eldest. 00:08:03.234 --> 00:08:06.324 The two girls were in the same room together, but we, that was also 00:08:06.324 --> 00:08:08.094 intentional, so she didn't feel alone. 00:08:08.619 --> 00:08:13.399 Candace Dellacona: Yeah, what a beautiful picture that, that, sort 00:08:13.399 --> 00:08:17.789 of an image that conjuress for me and probably for all those listening. 00:08:17.789 --> 00:08:24.284 And you've made this very intentional decision to have 00:08:24.284 --> 00:08:29.684 adoption for you be a choice as opposed to the quote last option. 00:08:29.684 --> 00:08:35.134 And I know that that was the origination of Plus One Adoption and the foundation so 00:08:35.134 --> 00:08:42.214 that you could flip the switch and really change up the dialogue about adoption. 00:08:42.334 --> 00:08:48.744 Can we talk a little bit about that piece and how, your mission with the foundation 00:08:49.184 --> 00:08:52.064 is to provide the resources to the family. 00:08:52.064 --> 00:08:55.194 So let's talk about maybe how you founded the foundation and 00:08:55.194 --> 00:08:56.484 what you do for families now. 00:08:57.144 --> 00:08:57.744 Michele Katz: Absolutely. 00:08:57.744 --> 00:09:01.644 So it was because of that time spent in the orphanage that I was seeing 00:09:01.649 --> 00:09:04.419 other children that were available. 00:09:04.419 --> 00:09:06.549 Not everyone's available for adoption. 00:09:06.759 --> 00:09:11.439 Some are working out certain family dynamics and, but many are. 00:09:11.889 --> 00:09:13.749 And do people know that they're there? 00:09:13.749 --> 00:09:17.079 Is there a way we can streamline this so that these kids don't 00:09:17.079 --> 00:09:18.429 wait as long as they do? 00:09:18.909 --> 00:09:23.809 And then and same with parents, prospective parents or parents 00:09:23.809 --> 00:09:26.509 who are trying to expand their families via adoption. 00:09:27.154 --> 00:09:27.964 Make a choice. 00:09:27.994 --> 00:09:30.914 And so I'm, and I'm seeing this, I'm seeing all these kids running 00:09:30.914 --> 00:09:34.544 around and doing, like arts and crafts projects and playing games 00:09:34.544 --> 00:09:35.894 and all that, all the things. 00:09:36.464 --> 00:09:40.354 And I thought there's gotta be a better way, there's gotta be a 00:09:40.354 --> 00:09:48.864 better way to ensure that the process can be faster and cheaper and to 00:09:48.864 --> 00:09:50.754 get these kids in forever homes. 00:09:51.285 --> 00:09:54.285 So we get home, she starts school. 00:09:54.335 --> 00:09:55.975 Then it's shut down. 00:09:55.975 --> 00:09:56.775 Everything shut down. 00:09:56.845 --> 00:09:57.595 Candace Dellacona: COVID, right. 00:09:57.785 --> 00:09:58.145 Michele Katz: right? 00:09:58.235 --> 00:10:01.745 COVID, so she was in school, not that long. 00:10:01.745 --> 00:10:03.995 Couple months, everything shuts down and she's back at home. 00:10:04.165 --> 00:10:05.215 She was a non-reader. 00:10:05.425 --> 00:10:06.775 She hadn't gone to school. 00:10:07.135 --> 00:10:08.185 She's eight years old. 00:10:09.145 --> 00:10:10.375 She hadn't been to school. 00:10:10.865 --> 00:10:15.525 Not in the way that, that she needed to be on par with the other students. 00:10:15.645 --> 00:10:17.895 And course she didn't speak English yet. 00:10:18.645 --> 00:10:21.045 Now it's a fight to get her to speak Spanish. 00:10:21.075 --> 00:10:22.965 I kid you not, but, and we do. 00:10:22.965 --> 00:10:25.135 I still, I'm like I don't know what you're saying. 00:10:25.135 --> 00:10:27.775 She's you understand me, and I'm speaking her in Spanish and she's 00:10:27.775 --> 00:10:28.705 responding to me in English. 00:10:29.545 --> 00:10:33.805 That aside, of course, back then, now, five years ago, almost 00:10:33.805 --> 00:10:35.335 six, yeah, almost six years ago. 00:10:35.775 --> 00:10:37.035 That was not the case. 00:10:37.125 --> 00:10:40.980 And so it was really tough, but, and I'm working from, I've got now four. 00:10:41.615 --> 00:10:43.085 She's my fourth and final. 00:10:43.385 --> 00:10:44.765 So I've got four kids at home. 00:10:44.765 --> 00:10:48.125 My husband's a first responder type, and I am running my law 00:10:48.125 --> 00:10:52.025 firm Advitam IP, the intellectual property for my day job from home. 00:10:52.145 --> 00:10:56.085 And what, every 15 minutes I gotta figure out what she's doing next. 00:10:57.045 --> 00:11:01.305 But that being said, when the plate's full, you pull out the platter, right? 00:11:01.305 --> 00:11:03.445 This is, this is survival guide, right? 00:11:03.865 --> 00:11:04.345 Candace Dellacona: So true. 00:11:04.405 --> 00:11:06.295 How do we survive the sandwich generation? 00:11:06.295 --> 00:11:07.855 This is how we add more to our plate. 00:11:08.215 --> 00:11:12.145 Michele Katz: Exactly, and by the way, the grandmothers did appear 00:11:12.145 --> 00:11:14.635 on both of these Columbia trips, so we're talking about sandwich. 00:11:14.635 --> 00:11:19.165 So they were involved the, so we had three generations involved in this. 00:11:20.135 --> 00:11:24.545 By the end of 2020, I had laid the foundation for the foundation. 00:11:25.115 --> 00:11:29.330 Name, branding, all the things, launch plan. 00:11:29.330 --> 00:11:34.390 And then we launched in March of 2021. 00:11:35.230 --> 00:11:40.840 And the mission exactly right, like you said, is to change the mindset. 00:11:40.930 --> 00:11:43.360 One, change the mindset around adoption. 00:11:43.360 --> 00:11:44.680 It's not a last resort. 00:11:44.680 --> 00:11:45.190 It's a choice. 00:11:46.175 --> 00:11:47.140 A choice you make. 00:11:47.470 --> 00:11:50.770 And one of the ways to do that is to dispel fear. 00:11:51.580 --> 00:11:54.940 So there are a lot of misconceptions about adoption. 00:11:54.940 --> 00:11:56.050 Let's get real with it. 00:11:56.170 --> 00:11:58.090 You don't know what you're gonna get no matter what. 00:11:58.510 --> 00:11:59.020 Okay? 00:11:59.260 --> 00:12:01.930 We put in as many parameters, we can. 00:12:01.930 --> 00:12:05.580 And when we're trying to make these decisions, and I've had kids, it 00:12:05.790 --> 00:12:08.040 feels like you know every which way. 00:12:08.070 --> 00:12:10.440 Maybe not every which way, but more than one way. 00:12:11.160 --> 00:12:13.890 That is something we really focus on. 00:12:13.890 --> 00:12:16.740 And we even have a whole series on Instagram called Plus One 00:12:16.800 --> 00:12:20.570 MythBusters that comes out, basically every Tuesday on Instagram. 00:12:21.050 --> 00:12:23.750 So that was important to me. 00:12:24.590 --> 00:12:29.450 The other aspect was credible and vetted resources. 00:12:29.750 --> 00:12:30.590 How do we cut? 00:12:30.620 --> 00:12:31.940 There's too much on the internet. 00:12:32.105 --> 00:12:33.145 Candace Dellacona: Yes, yes. 00:12:33.195 --> 00:12:33.995 Michele Katz: There's way too much. 00:12:33.995 --> 00:12:34.820 How do you know? 00:12:34.850 --> 00:12:35.720 Word of mouth. 00:12:36.080 --> 00:12:37.340 We trust friends. 00:12:37.390 --> 00:12:43.930 Can we create a network or a database is another way to look at it, of, 00:12:45.370 --> 00:12:47.380 resources that people can trust. 00:12:48.190 --> 00:12:48.925 And that's what we've done. 00:12:49.225 --> 00:12:49.645 Candace Dellacona: Right. 00:12:49.705 --> 00:12:51.415 And so let's talk about that a little. 00:12:51.415 --> 00:12:55.855 You've made the decision to expand your family and the path 00:12:55.855 --> 00:13:00.125 that you're choosing, that you've decided to embark upon is adoption. 00:13:00.125 --> 00:13:05.035 And I think, as the Sandwich Generation Survival Guide podcast, what we try 00:13:05.035 --> 00:13:09.325 to do is provide resources to people, and that is what your foundation is 00:13:09.325 --> 00:13:13.435 doing, where you're trying to level the playing field and make sure that the 00:13:13.435 --> 00:13:20.185 information that people are actually accessing, is reliable and vetted. 00:13:20.185 --> 00:13:25.080 Let's say you're a person who's about to start your adoption journey. 00:13:25.410 --> 00:13:27.150 Where do they begin? 00:13:27.180 --> 00:13:29.490 I've just, you know this personally. 00:13:29.490 --> 00:13:33.060 I've had family members that have expanded their family through adoption 00:13:33.110 --> 00:13:35.090 and great friends who have done the same. 00:13:35.630 --> 00:13:37.490 And it seems like the. 00:13:37.810 --> 00:13:41.650 Pool is so full and getting through the noise is so complicated. 00:13:41.650 --> 00:13:44.890 There are consultants, there are agencies, there are attorneys. 00:13:45.310 --> 00:13:51.100 So can you talk about a little how a family could come to the foundation 00:13:51.100 --> 00:13:54.610 and try to help them figure out where to begin and where do you begin? 00:13:54.944 --> 00:13:55.844 Michele Katz: Contact us. 00:13:55.844 --> 00:13:56.984 That's the first step. 00:13:57.614 --> 00:14:02.714 You can DM us through social, you can email us through the website. 00:14:02.814 --> 00:14:03.624 So that's the first thing. 00:14:03.624 --> 00:14:06.894 But I'll tell you once we're talking, it's me, another board 00:14:06.894 --> 00:14:10.074 member who's adopted, who's quite knowledgeable in the area as well. 00:14:10.414 --> 00:14:13.594 So what we do is the first question is, what are you looking for? 00:14:14.264 --> 00:14:19.914 What are the pros of adoption is that to some extent you can decide. 00:14:20.694 --> 00:14:22.704 So some people are like, I want an infant. 00:14:22.794 --> 00:14:26.974 Okay, if that's what you want, then there's certain channels that are 00:14:26.974 --> 00:14:28.774 easier to get to reach the goal. 00:14:29.674 --> 00:14:33.244 You wouldn't, we wouldn't necessarily recommend going international right now. 00:14:33.449 --> 00:14:34.409 Candace Dellacona: Oh, so that's great. 00:14:34.409 --> 00:14:39.284 So knowing a little bit about what you're seeking helps you forge the right path. 00:14:39.944 --> 00:14:40.964 Michele Katz: Exactly. 00:14:41.624 --> 00:14:44.174 And budget, let's not kid around. 00:14:45.134 --> 00:14:50.894 Just like anything, you wanna know in advance what the cost might be. 00:14:51.524 --> 00:14:51.944 Candace Dellacona: Yeah, 00:14:52.109 --> 00:14:54.719 Michele Katz: And some would argue like international versus 00:14:54.719 --> 00:14:59.099 domestic at this point, they may be on par as far as expense and 00:14:59.099 --> 00:15:00.929 others would say not necessarily. 00:15:00.979 --> 00:15:04.999 So there are some of the depends, but there's also a whole foster to 00:15:04.999 --> 00:15:09.909 adopt, which is very low cost in comparison to maybe hiring, a private 00:15:09.909 --> 00:15:11.379 consultant and things like that. 00:15:11.619 --> 00:15:12.879 And there's a hybrid of things. 00:15:12.909 --> 00:15:14.109 You can do multiple things. 00:15:14.964 --> 00:15:18.354 So people work with an agency, they might also work with a consultant. 00:15:19.074 --> 00:15:22.704 And not all consultants and not all agencies are the same. 00:15:22.914 --> 00:15:26.704 Just like when you're hiring, if someone was hiring an IP lawyer, you've 00:15:26.704 --> 00:15:28.444 gotta find the right match for you. 00:15:28.444 --> 00:15:32.944 It would be the same for consultants, for example, or agencies. 00:15:33.484 --> 00:15:37.054 And having a consultant I think is quite helpful. 00:15:38.644 --> 00:15:41.644 To hold your hand through the process because we actually 00:15:41.644 --> 00:15:43.054 don't broker adoptions. 00:15:43.174 --> 00:15:46.114 We provide resources that you can rely on. 00:15:46.834 --> 00:15:47.254 That's what we do. 00:15:47.874 --> 00:15:52.284 Candace Dellacona: And that's really important, because when you enter into the 00:15:52.284 --> 00:15:57.444 picture of the adoption journey, you're the guide holding the person's hands 00:15:57.444 --> 00:16:00.234 to help them find vetted professionals. 00:16:00.234 --> 00:16:06.399 And I assume that you also unfortunately know about agencies, 00:16:06.479 --> 00:16:11.004 lawyers, and consultants who maybe are not exactly on the up and up. 00:16:11.204 --> 00:16:12.824 Is that fair to say? 00:16:12.939 --> 00:16:16.519 Michele Katz: That is just as valuable, knowing who not to 00:16:16.519 --> 00:16:18.289 go with than who to go with. 00:16:18.869 --> 00:16:21.789 And yeah, when I do talk to people and if they're frustrated. 00:16:21.789 --> 00:16:23.169 They've already been through the process. 00:16:23.219 --> 00:16:25.649 I would like to know who they are. 00:16:25.739 --> 00:16:28.949 We're not out there to bad mouth, but we certainly wanna know that we're not 00:16:28.949 --> 00:16:30.689 recommending anyone on the bad list. 00:16:30.689 --> 00:16:31.769 So far so good. 00:16:32.049 --> 00:16:36.069 But it's true and that is critical because our whole mission is to cut 00:16:36.099 --> 00:16:38.499 through it, there's so much out there. 00:16:38.499 --> 00:16:42.549 You gotta cut through everything to get to the jam because people 00:16:42.549 --> 00:16:44.679 can spend years on research. 00:16:45.324 --> 00:16:46.344 You don't wanna wait year. 00:16:47.244 --> 00:16:47.874 No. 00:16:48.144 --> 00:16:51.834 And you don't wanna spend, money unnecessarily. 00:16:51.994 --> 00:16:52.654 Who does? 00:16:52.744 --> 00:16:54.414 That would be, ridiculous. 00:16:55.009 --> 00:16:57.639 Candace Dellacona: Absolutely, and I think, from the perspective of starting a 00:16:57.639 --> 00:17:05.469 family, it's such an emotional process and I think as with any decision that you're 00:17:05.469 --> 00:17:11.079 making that is so intertwined to emotion and love and wanting to expand your 00:17:11.079 --> 00:17:14.619 family, sometimes it's hard for people to see the forest through the trees. 00:17:16.104 --> 00:17:19.404 Michele Katz: And we do tell people, you know it, we have a show that 00:17:19.404 --> 00:17:23.204 we put on via Instagram every month called the Bright Side Live. 00:17:24.319 --> 00:17:30.949 And we interview someone who can support in some way the adoption community. 00:17:31.379 --> 00:17:32.039 I'm the host. 00:17:32.039 --> 00:17:33.239 I'm the one asking the questions. 00:17:33.239 --> 00:17:35.129 It's basically this but flipped. 00:17:35.489 --> 00:17:41.419 And it could be an adoptee, it could be an adoptive parent, it could be someone 00:17:41.419 --> 00:17:43.999 who is actually working in the industry. 00:17:44.169 --> 00:17:44.409 Candace Dellacona: Right. 00:17:45.199 --> 00:17:48.349 Michele Katz: It could all, we had an energy healer on also 00:17:48.649 --> 00:17:50.239 to help parents and children. 00:17:50.339 --> 00:17:50.699 Candace Dellacona: Yeah. 00:17:51.569 --> 00:17:53.459 Michele Katz: Who've been through potentially trauma. 00:17:53.509 --> 00:17:56.089 We had a micro movement specialist. 00:17:56.629 --> 00:18:00.569 Babies don't, especially adopted ones, maybe they didn't get enough belly time. 00:18:00.849 --> 00:18:04.399 And so all of those things that we take for granted, they can stick with 00:18:04.399 --> 00:18:06.004 you your whole life from infancy. 00:18:06.004 --> 00:18:07.039 You don't even know it. 00:18:07.429 --> 00:18:08.329 And you're stuck. 00:18:08.689 --> 00:18:12.619 And so we've had all sorts of guests and they can be found right on the grid of 00:18:12.619 --> 00:18:16.879 our Instagram, which is Plus One Adoption. 00:18:17.689 --> 00:18:20.929 And you'll know you're there if you see like a square with that one little 00:18:20.929 --> 00:18:22.729 missing piece, like a Rubik's cube. 00:18:23.269 --> 00:18:25.129 And then, you're there and just scroll. 00:18:25.129 --> 00:18:26.659 And most of them are half screens. 00:18:26.969 --> 00:18:30.889 And we're actually paused for a moment on the Brightside lives. 00:18:30.949 --> 00:18:35.599 I don't know if you saw this, 'cause I know you follow us, Candace, but Instagram 00:18:35.599 --> 00:18:39.629 has a rule that if you're not at a thousand, we were like at 800 something, 00:18:39.899 --> 00:18:41.999 then you can't do Instagram lives anymore. 00:18:42.659 --> 00:18:48.429 So I was just, I hit start to interview the executive director at the 00:18:48.429 --> 00:18:52.659 Illinois Adoption Center, like super helpful for the adoption community. 00:18:53.589 --> 00:18:57.839 We had to, we pivoted and we did a a zoom and we were able to post that. 00:18:58.079 --> 00:19:02.119 But until we get a thousand, we actually won't be doing the live ones. 00:19:02.369 --> 00:19:05.519 Candace Dellacona: But I think, with all that being said, I think, starting 00:19:05.519 --> 00:19:10.399 the journey is so important and getting through the noise is important and finding 00:19:10.399 --> 00:19:12.709 that support and the vetted professionals. 00:19:12.709 --> 00:19:18.259 But you just brought up something that is very unique to the adoption foundation 00:19:18.259 --> 00:19:21.574 space, which is the post-placement need. 00:19:22.344 --> 00:19:27.964 And think that is something that is really hard for a lot of parents of adopted 00:19:27.994 --> 00:19:35.474 children to talk about openly because, we all want to be parents and particularly 00:19:35.984 --> 00:19:44.324 folks who could not perhaps birth their own children, and they have been able 00:19:44.324 --> 00:19:51.404 to expand their family through adoption and there are difficulties that arise. 00:19:51.854 --> 00:19:56.184 As with any parental situation, and that's, I think, so 00:19:56.184 --> 00:19:58.084 important to get out there. 00:19:58.084 --> 00:19:59.374 To take the stigma away. 00:19:59.374 --> 00:20:04.224 Because even if you birth children, we both know you as someone who 00:20:04.224 --> 00:20:08.934 has adopted children, who are your children and your birth children. 00:20:09.499 --> 00:20:11.689 Our kids can have all sorts of issues. 00:20:11.689 --> 00:20:16.989 And I think that there is a stigma that exists that people don't wanna talk about 00:20:16.989 --> 00:20:23.279 the difficulties that you may have with those post placement needs because we're 00:20:23.279 --> 00:20:25.979 still grateful just like we are otherwise. 00:20:26.069 --> 00:20:32.359 So tell us about those support resources that you've been able to 00:20:32.359 --> 00:20:38.189 provide for those who have already had placement and they have needs? 00:20:38.934 --> 00:20:42.204 Michele Katz: And especially if you have multiple kids, it's also 00:20:42.594 --> 00:20:44.604 the relationship between siblings. 00:20:45.129 --> 00:20:45.759 Candace Dellacona: Yes. 00:20:45.774 --> 00:20:49.284 Michele Katz: think about the fact that I had three and my youngest was 00:20:49.284 --> 00:20:53.504 the youngest for a while, and then got displaced from that position. 00:20:53.714 --> 00:20:58.514 So it's not just parent to child, but also between the siblings. 00:20:58.682 --> 00:21:01.797 I would also point out that it's not necessarily a need. 00:21:01.797 --> 00:21:05.937 We're shifting that to a, want to want to adopt, right? 00:21:05.937 --> 00:21:10.847 Because we encourage, there are a lot of children out there that need homes. 00:21:10.877 --> 00:21:15.257 Actually, there are more of them, right? 00:21:15.307 --> 00:21:18.332 There, there are fewer people adopting. 00:21:18.432 --> 00:21:21.342 We need to increase the number of people adopting and they, you don't 00:21:21.342 --> 00:21:23.862 have to need, they just have to want. 00:21:24.552 --> 00:21:25.577 And when you. 00:21:25.807 --> 00:21:28.617 Candace Dellacona: a great point, Michele, thank you for correcting me on that, 00:21:28.617 --> 00:21:37.507 that, just to clarify is that there are so many children that have the, their 00:21:37.507 --> 00:21:44.287 need to be with a family, and we wanna to flip the script and talk about the want. 00:21:44.407 --> 00:21:50.287 And again, changing the dialogue from an option to a choice. 00:21:50.677 --> 00:21:53.457 Michele Katz: And when that child is placed with you, there 00:21:53.457 --> 00:21:57.347 might be some support from the agency for some time, maybe. 00:21:57.747 --> 00:22:01.737 But it may not be exactly what you need, right? 00:22:01.737 --> 00:22:04.577 If they're coming to check that the home's okay and all that, that's not 00:22:04.577 --> 00:22:06.257 actually what you, that's not what you 00:22:06.457 --> 00:22:06.807 Candace Dellacona: Right. 00:22:07.067 --> 00:22:07.247 Michele Katz: right? 00:22:07.517 --> 00:22:09.197 Attachment is really important. 00:22:09.407 --> 00:22:13.387 Kids that don't have the ability to attach whether they're like genetically 00:22:13.387 --> 00:22:14.827 connected to their parents or not. 00:22:15.472 --> 00:22:17.002 Have problems later in life. 00:22:17.032 --> 00:22:23.542 There's a lot of books on, on this and studies and so you want to obviously make 00:22:23.572 --> 00:22:27.022 the best situation for your children. 00:22:27.022 --> 00:22:30.202 And so working on attachment, we actually worked on it. 00:22:30.252 --> 00:22:35.892 We worked with a Thera play expert who I actually interviewed 00:22:35.892 --> 00:22:37.602 as one of our Brightside lives. 00:22:37.652 --> 00:22:40.982 And that was actually in person and we were doing some of the activities. 00:22:41.702 --> 00:22:44.492 In front of the camera so people, live recording so people could 00:22:44.492 --> 00:22:45.722 see some of the activities. 00:22:46.082 --> 00:22:51.132 Some of it is as benign as just rubbing lotion on the child's hand, 00:22:51.432 --> 00:22:55.002 just like in a little circle right on the top of the hand and on, and then 00:22:55.002 --> 00:22:57.582 doing the same, in the reverse, right? 00:22:58.032 --> 00:23:00.222 So parent to child, child to parent. 00:23:01.512 --> 00:23:04.862 Other things were, wrapping the child in a blanket. 00:23:04.892 --> 00:23:08.762 Maybe you have one parent or guardian on each, like on each 00:23:08.762 --> 00:23:10.622 side and swing 'em like a hammock. 00:23:10.922 --> 00:23:13.562 That was some, so they feel secure, right? 00:23:13.622 --> 00:23:18.832 And so there's all these things I never would've necessarily thought to do until I 00:23:18.832 --> 00:23:22.342 actually did Thera play and it was great. 00:23:22.392 --> 00:23:23.442 And so yes. 00:23:23.542 --> 00:23:27.412 Even if it's tutoring and thinking kids need to catch up, sometimes you 00:23:27.412 --> 00:23:33.262 need tutors that are better suited, for if your child has, like mine 00:23:33.262 --> 00:23:38.712 who struggled with math concepts and reading, you need extra help. 00:23:39.237 --> 00:23:41.597 Candace Dellacona: And I think, what you bring up is important too, 00:23:41.597 --> 00:23:47.397 because, is a unique perspective and perhaps a pediatrician is not going 00:23:47.397 --> 00:23:51.837 to bring these things up to you, that you have a different perspective. 00:23:51.837 --> 00:23:56.497 And one of the amazing things about your foundation is that it provides 00:23:56.617 --> 00:23:59.317 parents the reason for these things. 00:23:59.317 --> 00:24:04.137 Because maybe in their own orbit, they're the first to have grown 00:24:04.137 --> 00:24:07.287 their family by adoption and they don't know things like this. 00:24:07.287 --> 00:24:11.787 So they can see a behavior or a trait or a characteristic in their child 00:24:11.787 --> 00:24:16.477 and not put the dots together that it was derived from the adoption. 00:24:16.477 --> 00:24:22.087 So can you talk about that too and how the foundation is so great at helping parents, 00:24:22.117 --> 00:24:26.857 A, connect the community and provide this insight that they wouldn't otherwise have? 00:24:28.387 --> 00:24:32.282 Michele Katz: I'm so glad you brought this up because one of our resources that there 00:24:32.282 --> 00:24:34.772 are pediatricians that focus on adoption. 00:24:35.922 --> 00:24:38.712 I've even interviewed one, the adoption doc. 00:24:39.082 --> 00:24:43.402 She's great and she does telehealth visits, so you don't even have to 00:24:43.402 --> 00:24:46.792 necessarily be, in, in the same city. 00:24:47.162 --> 00:24:48.302 And she can help. 00:24:48.692 --> 00:24:50.522 And there are others like her. 00:24:50.682 --> 00:24:56.472 When we adopted the first time, we went to University of Chicago and there was 00:24:56.472 --> 00:24:59.412 a doctor there who focused on adoption. 00:25:01.032 --> 00:25:07.312 It is, it was extremely helpful for him to have that lens and helpful for us. 00:25:07.342 --> 00:25:08.722 Then of course, he moved away. 00:25:09.092 --> 00:25:12.872 And then it turned out that our pediatrician, who we'd been working 00:25:12.872 --> 00:25:17.842 with is, and our daughter was older anyway at this point and could, 00:25:17.972 --> 00:25:22.612 articulate and describe things as opposed to our infant daughter the 00:25:22.612 --> 00:25:24.202 first one with our first adoption. 00:25:24.572 --> 00:25:30.822 But having someone to talk to just to even bounce it, to have to take a call. 00:25:31.182 --> 00:25:32.712 Who focuses on adoption? 00:25:32.742 --> 00:25:33.522 Absolutely. 00:25:33.522 --> 00:25:35.262 So we even have resources in that category. 00:25:35.862 --> 00:25:37.032 Candace Dellacona: And that's amazing, right? 00:25:37.032 --> 00:25:40.752 Part of why I started this podcast, which you know a lot of our listeners 00:25:40.752 --> 00:25:42.582 know, is to provide resources. 00:25:43.032 --> 00:25:46.932 And in providing those resources, we're creating a sense of community. 00:25:47.352 --> 00:25:52.147 And I think that when you go through something and not everyone to the 00:25:52.147 --> 00:25:55.297 left and right of you have gone through that, it can feel lonely. 00:25:55.817 --> 00:25:57.317 And it can feel isolating. 00:25:57.367 --> 00:26:00.607 Creating the foundation in the way that you have, especially 00:26:00.607 --> 00:26:01.787 with your perspective, Michele. 00:26:01.807 --> 00:26:06.027 And just to give you props, as a lawyer we sometimes look at things maybe 00:26:06.027 --> 00:26:08.427 more logically and solving a problem. 00:26:08.457 --> 00:26:12.157 Probably you more so than me, because you're intellectual property and 00:26:12.157 --> 00:26:14.407 definitely more science minded than I am. 00:26:14.717 --> 00:26:18.967 But it's really this beautiful community that you've been able. 00:26:19.152 --> 00:26:24.792 To create with the platform to provide the resources also. 00:26:25.212 --> 00:26:31.332 So having this community surrounding you that will, provide perspective 00:26:31.392 --> 00:26:36.642 parents with this really warm hug of resources and the feeling of 00:26:36.642 --> 00:26:38.952 not alone is just so remarkable. 00:26:39.352 --> 00:26:42.447 And that's the best thing that you've done, with this foundation. 00:26:42.447 --> 00:26:43.977 So I really applaud you on that. 00:26:45.297 --> 00:26:45.777 Michele Katz: Thank you. 00:26:45.777 --> 00:26:47.427 And it's a passion project. 00:26:47.457 --> 00:26:49.387 I don't, this is not a paid position. 00:26:49.687 --> 00:26:51.067 And the board members also. 00:26:51.097 --> 00:26:53.557 We have a full board, we have quarterly meetings. 00:26:53.557 --> 00:26:55.177 It's a 5 0 1 C3. 00:26:55.227 --> 00:26:56.037 It's legit. 00:26:56.377 --> 00:27:00.227 And we're almost four and a half years old or so now, and I feel 00:27:00.227 --> 00:27:01.817 like we're really making an impact. 00:27:02.057 --> 00:27:04.877 We even had on one of the, mentioning the Brightside Live 00:27:04.877 --> 00:27:06.197 again, we even had someone we help. 00:27:07.042 --> 00:27:10.822 Who used one of our resources ended up adopting an infant as they 00:27:10.822 --> 00:27:15.442 wanted to, and then she came on the show to talk about her experience. 00:27:15.712 --> 00:27:21.202 And so it, it was like a full circle moment, like we did it or we're doing it. 00:27:21.482 --> 00:27:22.322 It's not enough. 00:27:22.382 --> 00:27:24.062 I never feel like we're doing enough. 00:27:24.482 --> 00:27:29.702 And also just, it's one thing, we have a mission, we're trying to do what we wanna 00:27:29.702 --> 00:27:32.372 do, but it's also very fulfilling for me. 00:27:33.167 --> 00:27:37.547 To know that we are making an impact in this space, that we're moving 00:27:37.547 --> 00:27:40.287 the needle which is very important. 00:27:40.287 --> 00:27:43.617 And we joke, so I have a private wine label. 00:27:43.617 --> 00:27:46.107 I don't know if we've ever actually even talked about this. 00:27:46.162 --> 00:27:46.382 Candace Dellacona: No. 00:27:46.387 --> 00:27:46.617 No. 00:27:47.617 --> 00:27:50.557 Michele Katz: I'm a sommelier also just for hobby. 00:27:50.647 --> 00:27:51.997 My husband too. 00:27:52.327 --> 00:27:58.267 But I really have always enjoyed wine and what pairs better than wine and parenting. 00:27:59.677 --> 00:28:01.997 So I started my own private wine label. 00:28:01.997 --> 00:28:03.497 It's called Wine for Good. 00:28:04.037 --> 00:28:07.777 Trademark registered, as well as the copyright for the label of the bottle. 00:28:07.777 --> 00:28:11.107 Unfortunately I don't have any of the bottles with me now to show you, but 00:28:11.477 --> 00:28:17.337 we're working on our next wine will be coming out and probably realistically, 00:28:17.637 --> 00:28:19.647 probably in another couple months. 00:28:19.917 --> 00:28:22.707 But if people wanna keep an eye out for it, they can actually 00:28:23.262 --> 00:28:28.602 buy the bottles, a percentage goes to, to fund the foundation. 00:28:28.602 --> 00:28:32.122 So if you're buying gifts and that kind of thing, people do care about, 00:28:32.122 --> 00:28:37.952 I know I do, if I'm gonna be buying gifts anyway, I might as well know that 00:28:37.952 --> 00:28:40.372 it's going to support a good cause. 00:28:40.552 --> 00:28:41.392 Candace Dellacona: Yes. 00:28:41.872 --> 00:28:42.502 Michele Katz: and yeah. 00:28:42.502 --> 00:28:43.912 So that's coming out. 00:28:43.912 --> 00:28:46.592 We have a small batch from last year. 00:28:46.592 --> 00:28:47.627 This one's a little bit bigger. 00:28:48.337 --> 00:28:50.527 And so we'll just, we'll see how it goes. 00:28:50.527 --> 00:28:56.957 And all that is to say is cheers to Wine for Good and Plus One Adoption Foundation. 00:28:56.957 --> 00:29:01.647 And I appreciate, anyone listening and thank you, for having me 00:29:01.647 --> 00:29:03.337 on to share the message on this. 00:29:03.877 --> 00:29:08.797 Candace Dellacona: Michele, as a mom, as a partner, a spouse, the founder of 00:29:08.797 --> 00:29:10.477 this amazing nonprofit, a sommelier. 00:29:10.877 --> 00:29:11.747 You do it all. 00:29:11.747 --> 00:29:17.397 And, thinking about being stuck in the middle and trying to prioritize. 00:29:17.397 --> 00:29:22.017 You've certainly provided a great example of someone who is making 00:29:22.017 --> 00:29:26.997 their way through and trying to make it easier for those who come after 00:29:26.997 --> 00:29:29.307 us, certainly in the adoption space. 00:29:29.357 --> 00:29:34.697 I really admire you so much and for everyone out there listening, please 00:29:34.697 --> 00:29:38.837 go give Plus One Adoption Foundation a follow on Instagram, on Facebook. 00:29:38.957 --> 00:29:43.287 And if you're feeling charitable, I know Michele would appreciate the 00:29:43.287 --> 00:29:46.377 donations and to buy a bottle of wine. 00:29:46.707 --> 00:29:48.607 Now that we know that she's a sommelier. 00:29:49.107 --> 00:29:54.357 And for all of those families out there who are thinking about making the 00:29:54.357 --> 00:30:00.342 choice to adopt, you have a guidebook with Plus One Adoption Foundation. 00:30:00.342 --> 00:30:03.552 You have the resources now and we're so happy to share them. 00:30:03.552 --> 00:30:05.852 So thank you so much for joining us today, Michele. 00:30:06.692 --> 00:30:07.272 Michele Katz: My pleasure. 00:30:07.282 --> 00:30:08.573 Thank you for having me.