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Welcome to Mission Forge where we engage one another, empower each other, and elevate the real estate world around us.
Well, welcome back to Mission forge. I'm Bobby Jankovic. I hope you're doing well. I've got to ask what happened with Matthew's cross. What about Matthew's Cross?
Speaker 1:So I have this story, and if you'll bear with me, it's a it's a fantastic story. It's got several layers back, but you have to know the origin of the story or one of the key puzzle pieces is that about a year ago, we lost our son, Matthew. He was 20 years old. Okay. So as a child, we a family, we took Matthew and the family to church, Saint Martin's Episcopal, and we were pretty pretty engaged over there.
Speaker 1:We went quite often. It was rare that we missed a week. The kids would stay after and do the activities, the, you know, bible school or Sunday school. And my wife and I would do other things. And at some point, we became Sunday school instructors.
Speaker 1:Matthew was interested in the band led his music teacher from when he was a young child, Miss Phaedra. She was also the music director at the church. And as he got older, he was invited into the the service to do the drums. He would also play the piano occasionally and stuff like that. So this was, this was a big part of our lives for several years.
Speaker 1:And at the end of a year, the church would, you know, recognize the volunteers and such and especially for the child services and the Sunday school services. And they would just give us a small token, you know, just a temporal manipulative token. The one relevant today is Matthew's Cross. So Roxanna, my wife, and I each got a comfort cross. You know, it's about the size of a small remote control, fits easily in your hand, smooth edges, nicely polished and whatnot.
Speaker 1:And so Matthew quickly grabbed on to one and wanted it showed interest in it. So obviously, you know, I don't remember if it was myself or my wife said, absolutely take it. It's yours. And he did. So fast forward, you know, that was probably around age 10, 11, 12.
Speaker 1:Fast forward to last year. And he always had it with him. And it was one of the items that was returned to us that was in his possession, you know, is one of his belongings. So when you lose a loved one or a family member, you know, you struggle, obviously, you grieve. But the things that are left behind just become that much more important.
Speaker 1:This is not a shocking statement, right? Everybody can everybody can understand that true even when somebody goes away on a trip, know, it's like they're gone for a little while and you just the things that are left behind are the things that you grab onto for that sort of connection. And so his cross kind of came back to me as one of the tokens, temporal, you know, physical things that I could carry around and just, it's not like I had trouble remembering him. That's not the point. It just, it was a great comfort to me and, you know, helped quite a great deal.
Speaker 1:That was August and, come January, my wife and I had I had done some something good at work and my company sent sent me or I had to get there, but they hosted me at a very nice resort. One nice enough that I would never go on my own. It was just that kinda out of just I'm a simple guy out of my league, not something that I would spend my money on. Not that I don't like nice things, but I just you know, it just doesn't seem appropriate. But, hey, if you're paying, I'm going.
Speaker 1:Right? So my wife and I go January down to Florida and are hosted for, I don't know, two or three days at this just absolutely beautiful facility and just the service and staff are out of this world kind and, you know, everything is just top notch. And I took Matthew's cross with me. So the last night there, we had gone down for a drink. And I don't know.
Speaker 1:The bar was particularly crowded I guess and I don't know we just weren't feeling the vibe so we got our drinks to go and just went and sat out on the porch or portico or whatever the fancy place with, you know, chair, rocking chairs or chairs and little fountains and stuff and just sat and watched the night go by for, you know, a little bit. And I had Matthew's cross with me and I, you know, both of my wife and I remember distinctly tapping the cross, me tapping the cross on, like, some sort of, I don't know, table or some sort of stucco piling or something like that. Those both distinct memories. Anyways, fast forward to being back home after the trip, and I can't find the cross going through pockets in my work bag and my suitcase. And and I'm just like, you know, dear, have you seen the cross?
Speaker 1:I can't find it. I can't find Matthew's cross. You know? And just her heart sank and my kids heard and, you know, they knew it was tough. I couldn't couldn't find it.
Speaker 1:And so, you know, being really good problem solver, she's like, hey, you got to reach out to the hotel, you know, because we had, had just left. This wasn't like a week later. And so I did, I was like, alright, I'll do that. And I think that was at night. So I I went ahead and went to their website and sent an email, you know, to contact us, explain the situation.
Speaker 1:And then the next day, I called in the morning. Absolutely no response. You know? No. You're not what I would expect.
Speaker 1:Right? I mean, I thought maybe they you check with housekeeping, check with the lost and found, whatever. Cause in my mind, it dropped on the floor. It's probably sitting against the baseboard in the hotel. Cause, you know, you leave the hotel, you do your regular checks looking for this and that.
Speaker 1:And it wasn't there. And I mean, when I say it wasn't there, I didn't see anything. We did all of our normal leaving a hotel thing, so it must have really dropped and snuck into a little dark corner. Anyways, this really fancy schmancy hotel just didn't really seem to care or or anyway, nothing happened. I'm not gonna say they didn't care.
Speaker 1:Nothing happened. So I'm there just kinda like left with this big void, vacant, you know, whoosh in my life. Anyways and I should back up about, you know, a half an hour because before I left for work that next morning, before I made that call, I'm going down the stairs towards the garage. And, you know, this must have been some sort of school holiday or something because you're it was the wintertime. It was past this probably late January and my son my my younger son is in the garage which is was unusual right it's a day off he could be in bed but still it was winter time and we didn't have a really cold winter, but it was probably 40 degrees or something like that.
Speaker 1:And so I'm leaving for work and I'm like, Hey, what's going on? What you doing? And he's, I look at him and kids got a block of wood, a hammer. And I don't know, some, let's just say for lack of a better word, some sort of knife or something to chisel. And I'm like, what are you doing?
Speaker 1:You know? And he's like, Oh, I'm making you a new cross. And so immediately, you know, I'm just like, Holy Cow. This is great. You know, this is this is amazing.
Speaker 1:And I'm but I you know, I I'm jumping into, oh, how can I help? How can I make it easier? You know? So, of course, I'm walking out the door. I've got my bag, but I'm like, hey.
Speaker 1:Look. Have you thought about maybe using this tool? You know, this that, you know, just bringing up some pointers, things, you know, to help him. So I got him kinda hooked up a little bit and, left for work, made the call, and, you know, couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened. But then so I get I come home for lunch or I get home at the end of the day, and I'm like, hey.
Speaker 1:Look. I've been thinking about this. Let me because the piece of wood he chose was just not you know, I'm I'm not a woodworker, but, you know, there's certain pieces of wood that they're just not going anywhere. Right? And this was some sort of hard compressed.
Speaker 1:I mean, it was it it just one guy. It didn't seem like it was gonna happen. So we start fishing around the garage, and then you've all seen the this is about the time I saw it too, which is really funny. But you've all seen the the the meme or whatever on social media, Facebook, whatever it says, you know, breaking news, you know, man uses board from garage that he had saved in night since 1986. So that's the type of mission that we were on.
Speaker 1:And it was it was happening, man. It was like projects started that I had started with Matthew, you know, things that we were pulling out to put together to do this were just, you know, it's not like we had to run down to the store and buy all this stuff. We had it. We were pulling it out of these nooks and crannies from the garage. My son was, you know, processing his own grief and and helping me, you know, get through my sort of round two of grief.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying? If you wanna call it that. So we sort of get into it and then, you know, we're talking and we just decided to make a few of them, you know, so make one for everybody in the family. And it just sort of starts to to grow and and the ideas and the feelings. And, you know, before we know it, we had a pretty nice assembly line going.
Speaker 1:The board that we had chosen to use was a nice softwood and supported practically dozens of these comfort crosses if we ever make so many of them. Today, you know, I think we've probably made about 20 or 25 and handed them out to our immediate family and close friends to whom we've told the story and who have also expressed interest. So, you know, we'll make the template, we'll cut it out, and we'll just spend a lot of time together doing different aspects of it, passing it back and forth and and and, you know, working through our own grief and struggle, but also just remembering that it's not it's not the physical thing that matters. It's the energy flowing, and it's the ideas and the spirituality. Yes.
Speaker 1:The token of the of the cross is a great memory point, and it is a fantastic tie. And I ache when I think that I don't have my son anymore. And I ache when I can't believe I lost that cross, you know, but I don't need the cross. I've got another one. And really, you boil it down, I don't need the cross because I can remember, and I can feel the energy.
Speaker 1:But the cross sure does help, you know, and being able to hug your son sure does help. It's just, it's a, it's a tie. It's a tie between the two and we're human and we're not expected to be divine and we're not expected to be, you know, free from this world, but the more that we can put our foot in out of this sort of temporal for lack of a better word, this sort of, you know, physical world, more we can identify with what's beyond, I think the better, the better we all are. And so I think about where is the cross? Is it still down?
Speaker 1:Is it still down at the breakers in Florida? Is it tucked away in some little dark corner? You know, or did it did a cleaning person pick it up and admire it and just decide that that was going home with her or him, either for her own use or for her grandchild. And I think that that's okay. I'm okay with that.
Speaker 1:I'm okay with the fact that I lost it. I punish myself a little for losing it, but really I'm okay with it, you know, because it allowed my younger son to fix my problem. You know, oh boy, and did he fix it? He really did, you know, and that's what he does. And that's what he's great at.
Speaker 1:And I also have to have the observation that I think Matthew edged us along, you know, does he have a hand? Is he edging and pushing? And is that how it works? Is it this sort of push of energy creates ideas, sparks thoughts, you know, or just the fact that Nicolas was thinking about it all and a certain instant, a pathway in his brain lit up and he's like, this is what I gotta do. You know, I gotta get outside and make my dad feel better, you know, and now we've got, you know, 15 crosses out there, 20 cross, whatever it is, and we've got more that we're we're gonna make, you know, so what about Matthew's cross?
Speaker 1:I wanted to share that with you. It's tough, but there's good things that come from bad places. And, you know, that's the point of me sharing that story. So I hope it brought you some comfort, and I appreciate you taking the time to listen to me on Mission Forge. Thank you, everybody.