Speaker 1: Welcome bles me. I'm Kevin spill and Quinn's news. I'm kids.
Speaker 1: This is the last time we're going to be doing this.
Speaker 1: I mean, calling it live would be a mistake, but
Speaker 1: we generally record the show.
Speaker 2: The night before it comes out.
Speaker 1: Well, I was gonna tell him, I was gonna say
Speaker 1: a week of the show. But yes, Harley's right. Minutes
Speaker 1: before you get it. Will Wilkins is rushing it like
Speaker 1: Joan Cusack through the hallways and broadcast news. Do you
Speaker 1: ever see that movie? No reference tell you the movie.
Speaker 1: I know it's Steve Cutts. It's a wonderful flick. But
Speaker 1: any event, uh we this is the last week we're
Speaker 1: gonna be doing that for a red hot minute because
Speaker 1: I will be heading out on the road.
Speaker 2: You will be gone for quite some time.
Speaker 1: And my band Cinnamon will be performing our hit star
Speaker 1: You scare me. No, I have my own band. I'm
Speaker 1: a one man bands, the Dogma band Man going out
Speaker 1: on the Dogma Resurrection Tour, which starts on Sunday today
Speaker 1: with us in their Ears. Is Thursday, true, but really
Speaker 1: it's Tuesday, Tuesday. But the listener, this is Thursday. I'm
Speaker 1: going to be on a stage in Virginia, Charlottesville, Virginia
Speaker 1: with Jay doing a Jay and sonomba show that we
Speaker 1: have to make up from like a couple of months
Speaker 1: ago during the snowstorm, the snowstorm Virginia. So we do
Speaker 1: that Friday, I come back here and stuff, and then
Speaker 1: Sunday is the first show. Two shows in Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: and then Monday, I go to San Diego. From San Diego,
Speaker 1: on Tuesday, I go to Phoenix. From Phoenix, on Wednesday,
Speaker 1: I go to Seattle.
Speaker 2: That's what I thought, because I know it in my head.
Speaker 1: Now Minneapolis, it's it starts. So the kid and I
Speaker 1: are not going to have like any opportunity because I'm
Speaker 1: not coming back. I'm gone for like a month, not
Speaker 1: coming back coming back. So we're gonna you know this,
Speaker 1: this show you're hearing was Fresh Baked this week, but
Speaker 1: every other show you're going to listen to for the
Speaker 1: next four weeks after that, for the next month are
Speaker 1: going to be canned shows that we're recording in the past. So,
Speaker 1: for all we know, Past is the president. This could
Speaker 1: be the creepiest This could be the creepy pasta moment
Speaker 1: of the.
Speaker 3: Show I Hate.
Speaker 1: I record four episodes in advance.
Speaker 2: Don't say it I die. I hate that. I knew
Speaker 2: you were going to go there?
Speaker 1: Do you do? You hold on to him and string
Speaker 1: him out like once a year?
Speaker 2: You know what, if you die, I'm not thinking about
Speaker 2: the podcast.
Speaker 1: To think about the podcast, then you're not committed to
Speaker 1: the podcast, because let me tell you, I have a
Speaker 1: contingency plan in case you die.
Speaker 2: Oh what does he take my place?
Speaker 1: Lucky steps up to the mic. He just looks at
Speaker 1: me lovingly the whole time, which is all show Yes, that.
Speaker 2: Is this like half the time, and then the other
Speaker 2: half of the time, I'm looking at you like no,
Speaker 2: I I I'm just saying I just I hate that.
Speaker 2: That's not gonna happen. So I'm just gonna go ahead
Speaker 2: and knock on wood and.
Speaker 1: Perhaps over the course of these not this episode, but
Speaker 1: starting next episode, the four pre recorded episodes, I will
Speaker 1: be leaving you coded messages that you can re put
Speaker 1: together from the grave. Translate from like I'm gone and
Speaker 1: you still put it together and you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: he told me where the map was. Then you find
Speaker 1: the map, and that's what a real adventure begins.
Speaker 4: Oh shit, wait a second, Yeah, So suddenly it ain't
Speaker 4: so bad that dad's dead.
Speaker 1: He sets you up on an adventure entertainment. Yeah, fucking
Speaker 1: there's a map and it says like, at the end
Speaker 1: of this is my gold, dude. That long story short,
Speaker 1: at the end of the map, you're the gold. So really,
Speaker 1: it don't get anything. I know you were counting on
Speaker 1: the blues. I thought I was getting something.
Speaker 2: But that's very nice. That would be Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Can you imagine how hard that would hit if you
Speaker 2: had passed away. They sent me on this journey and
Speaker 2: I was the gold. I would cry for.
Speaker 1: I would hope with me dropping dead.
Speaker 2: You'd be crying, but it would just hit so hard
Speaker 2: if I.
Speaker 1: Do drop dead. The intent was there, like I was like,
Speaker 1: here's the idea, so I'm going to get credit for
Speaker 1: the idea.
Speaker 2: But this is not happening.
Speaker 1: So you're gonna have to prepare yourself for one day. No,
Speaker 1: one day, I'm going to go on a trip and
Speaker 1: just not come back. Oh my god, what are you doing?
Speaker 2: I brought a fun game and you're.
Speaker 1: Just is that what we're doing? No? I mean, look,
Speaker 1: I believe me. Your mom's going with me. There's no
Speaker 1: way I'm gonna die. We don't die together on the road.
Speaker 1: We die in this house, burst me at her hands,
Speaker 1: and then she follows maybe, and then.
Speaker 2: She just never leaves again until she dies.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, then she haunts the house as a living
Speaker 1: ghost man. The dogs are like what happened to the
Speaker 1: guy who used to do all the fun things?
Speaker 2: And then the dogs eat you both.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, I thought she was alive. It's equated. Oh,
Speaker 1: she's a living ghost ghost, meaning like she just yeah,
Speaker 1: she just she didn't. She's like I killed him. I
Speaker 1: felt like that was enough. Now it's just meet it up,
Speaker 1: all right. No, so she'll be with me and stuff.
Speaker 1: She'll be looking out for me. It's easier, I'm sure.
Speaker 2: I why why was that even something you brought up?
Speaker 1: I like to put it out there, man, because then
Speaker 1: if if here you want you want to know why? Yeah,
Speaker 1: if I do, that sets you up in my absence,
Speaker 1: because it gives you something to talk about on news programs.
Speaker 1: And at the end, we're just like, I'm gonna miss him.
Speaker 1: But he loved my new song start this is My
Speaker 1: bad cinnamons in stores and Spotify right now. And he
Speaker 1: really wanted everyone, He really really wanted everyone to hear
Speaker 1: it used to wait.
Speaker 2: So during my most intense time of morning, I'm going
Speaker 2: on the news.
Speaker 1: If I raised you right.
Speaker 2: Yes, never never failed a season opportunity.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he got to capitalize on that otherwise dying.
Speaker 1: I died for nothing. But if you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: we got a million hits off my dad, he would
Speaker 1: love that. You can legit here. This is on fucking record.
Speaker 1: You can tell people he legit would have loved this.
Speaker 1: Like some people are like he or she would have
Speaker 1: loved it. It's guess work and ship.
Speaker 2: This is proof.
Speaker 1: I'm putting it on wax right here. Man, fucking I
Speaker 1: would I demanded use your Oh my god, I want
Speaker 1: you to financially benefit from it. And I'm not talking
Speaker 1: about the dopey ass like here's the insurance policy and
Speaker 1: ship you gotta sleep one night and I wanted mansion,
Speaker 1: never mind inheritance. I'm talking about the moment I died.
Speaker 1: That's when a T shirt machine gets holy shit. I
Speaker 1: was just doing a podcast the other day where I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm always telling my wife and my kid,
Speaker 1: like you know, because I was. I was on a
Speaker 1: podcast with Joe Bodner, who is the auctioneer that we had.
Speaker 1: I had done the auction with when I sold off
Speaker 1: a lot of comic book artwork like a year and
Speaker 1: a half ago. Then he came and did some function
Speaker 1: and he was like a caller, true caller. He's like, hey,
Speaker 1: now many amena. That's cool, spellbinding, like honestly one of
Speaker 1: the most entertaining things I've seen in ten years, and
Speaker 1: ship so much so that I wrote him into the
Speaker 1: next movie. I was like, do that in the movie.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: So I was on his podcast and we were talking
Speaker 1: about collecttions and collecting and blah blah blah. So I
Speaker 1: showed him my Bulle Wigle stuff and I was like,
Speaker 1: my kid was here not too long ago, and she
Speaker 1: was like, none of this existed two months ago. I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I guess I've been collecting pretty hardy.
Speaker 2: It just seems like a lifelong collection. Knowing me actually
Speaker 2: multiple lifetimes.
Speaker 1: In this house. You can't be like, my dad's always
Speaker 1: had that, My dad's had that for two months.
Speaker 2: This is a very new thing, and it feels very
Speaker 2: strongly about it.
Speaker 1: In many ways, it's almost like I am set decorating
Speaker 1: a movie about somebody who really likes bollwiggle and it
Speaker 1: had a budget, but I could go do that exact
Speaker 1: thing and shit, but it's for real. You go in there,
Speaker 1: it's curated like a fucking Smithsonian. Oh my god.
Speaker 5: The the the I was telling Bob, I was like, look,
Speaker 5: most people collect these things, you know, because we were
Speaker 5: talking about how some people, you know, don't.
Speaker 1: They think they own whatever it is they own, And
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, like nobody owns shit because at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, we all die and it
Speaker 1: goes to somebody else and stuff. So you know, you're
Speaker 1: just in charge of it for a little bit, you know,
Speaker 1: while you're hearing stuff. So like all the stuff that
Speaker 1: we collect, and we were talking in generality, you know
Speaker 1: that's it matters to you. It's infused with your love
Speaker 1: and your passion and the meaning you bring to it
Speaker 1: and the story of your life and how it intersects
Speaker 1: with it. And what happens is, you know, when most
Speaker 1: people fucking die, somebody just fucking stiff arms all those
Speaker 1: shit into a big hefty bag and shit, because all
Speaker 1: those the meaning of everything on these shelves and in
Speaker 1: my office won't have that same meaning to anyone else, right,
Speaker 1: And justifiably. However, most people when they die and people
Speaker 1: put all their shit in the garbage, like that's that
Speaker 1: you have an opportunity to capitalize. The opportunity is like
Speaker 1: literally everything has been touched by me, So like all
Speaker 1: that boneenkle stuff, you can upsell or four times what
Speaker 1: I paid for it, because you're like this was his bowenkles.
Speaker 2: Let me just be clear, I hate this conversation.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you this is powerful, and I will feel
Speaker 1: like a failure is a father if you don't like,
Speaker 1: liquidate so you never have to work again in your life.
Speaker 1: Everything gets sold because everything in this house is super
Speaker 1: super valuable to somebody outside of this house. To you,
Speaker 1: it's just stuff that you grew up around and stuff.
Speaker 1: But I have enough trinkets too. There's enough shit where
Speaker 1: you could hold on to it and be like my father.
Speaker 1: But there's way more shit than you'll ever need, so
Speaker 1: you could sell the fuck out of it. I employ
Speaker 1: you to do it. I'm putting that on wax too.
Speaker 1: You have to fucking this seems so so fucked up.
Speaker 2: It is really fucked up. What has gotten into you?
Speaker 1: I don't know these are Thus I don't like this
Speaker 1: I just had this conversation on another podcast, so I was
Speaker 1: runny with the content.
Speaker 2: What the fucks with your podcast content?
Speaker 1: Just to talking about we were talking about collections, and
Speaker 1: that led to like, what what do people Why do
Speaker 1: people treat their collections so seriously? And shit? And most
Speaker 1: people treat all their possessions seriously, but they're truly not
Speaker 1: their possessions. And at the end of the day, like
Speaker 1: me and Brian Johnson used to work for my mom
Speaker 1: worked for these two guys, Chuck and Tom Peters, who
Speaker 1: did a state sales. So somebody passes away and their
Speaker 1: kids like I ain't got time to deal with this,
Speaker 1: or not even I ain't got time to deal with this,
Speaker 1: They're like, look, can you monetize this? Come in and
Speaker 1: so the auctioneer comes in, prices literally everything in the
Speaker 1: hosp'sal price tag on everything, and then they have like
Speaker 1: essentially a high end garage sale for you know people
Speaker 1: auctioneers collectors. So you've been to one of them. I
Speaker 1: used to work those when I was a kid man
Speaker 1: like work them more. I'd be the person staying around room,
Speaker 1: make sure people don't pocket shit and whatnot, but more
Speaker 1: importantly setting up tables as they prepare and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: but sometimes we were Then me and Brian would then
Speaker 1: left to empty out the house like they'd done all
Speaker 1: the sales, like this is the stuff that didn't sell.
Speaker 1: It's just going to go in the garbage. Here's a
Speaker 1: dumpster and start putting it in. And it was like crazy,
Speaker 1: like I learned at a young age. And me and I
Speaker 1: were talking about fifteen sixteen, so well, I was hanging
Speaker 1: out with Brian, so a little older than that, I
Speaker 1: was eighteen or nineteen. This woman curated this beautiful life
Speaker 1: full of like fucking you know photos and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: and we were sitting there looking through like her life
Speaker 1: and flipping the photo on the back of a description
Speaker 1: of everything that happened in nineteen ten on this day,
Speaker 1: and it's in a quote that like we haunted us
Speaker 1: and we would always fucking use it in life. She wrote,
Speaker 1: a good time was had by all, Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: which is really the way you should live life and stuff.
Speaker 1: But I saw someone's lifelong possessions go right into history.
Speaker 1: Then when the Northeastern happened in nineteen ninety two, like
Speaker 1: you know, our house got swamped, so I lost like
Speaker 1: a lot of my childhood toys and shit like that.
Speaker 1: So some of those things I recollected was shit I
Speaker 1: used to own that I didn't throw out because I
Speaker 1: never throw anything out, but it just got like wrecked
Speaker 1: in the flood. So I and then you know, then
Speaker 1: we had the flood here when the water.
Speaker 2: Destroyed the house must have been triggering.
Speaker 1: Not triggering so much as I've learned over time to like,
Speaker 1: you know, if it goes, it goes. That's why when
Speaker 1: I was driving away and I thought the fires was
Speaker 1: going to take.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, it was like if it don't say well,
Speaker 4: during the Pallet fires in January, like when we left,
Speaker 4: I looked back and took that picture and the flames
Speaker 4: were coming up over the hill.
Speaker 1: So it was like, I, you know, I can't fight that.
Speaker 1: And so I was like, if it goes, it goes.
Speaker 1: Like I enjoyed it, but it's like it's more important
Speaker 1: than we're alive. Everyone. I love a safe and shit.
Speaker 1: And as it turned out, nothing got destroyed. But for
Speaker 1: some reason it had some effect on me where like
Speaker 1: instead of still being zen and being like, well, in
Speaker 1: a world where I could have lost everything, we should
Speaker 1: really collect nothing. We should really let go of all
Speaker 1: the things I like triple down, start buying every bowl
Speaker 1: ankle thing that ever fucking happened.
Speaker 2: Had a hard turn in the other direction.
Speaker 1: It's crazy, I can't. I think that was like a
Speaker 1: defiant like fuck, you ain't going anywhere. Maybe I don't know,
Speaker 1: but it makes me.
Speaker 2: It is pretty interesting.
Speaker 1: It makes me happy just looking at it.
Speaker 2: It seems like there's.
Speaker 1: Also the hunt, which is a fun thing keeps one
Speaker 1: engaged and ship and better than hunting for like heroin.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know what good point you.
Speaker 1: Know what I'm saying, like fucking if you're gonna like anytime,
Speaker 1: and there's bowlinkle auction coming up, as we all know,
Speaker 1: of course, and you know in this house, one of
Speaker 1: us goes through waves you know where it's just like
Speaker 1: what and then I don't know, let me see it
Speaker 1: all right? What like we went back to what where
Speaker 1: she's like, well, how much is it? And I heard
Speaker 1: like the opening bit and it's just shockingly low but
Speaker 1: doesn't mean it won't go high. But it's a very
Speaker 1: big piece that like ain't gonna fit many homes and
Speaker 1: should definitely fit in this one. Then she started giving
Speaker 1: it like like what if I don't want it, oh
Speaker 1: it man, because then I get on my high horse
Speaker 1: of like I work hard, everyone gets what they want,
Speaker 1: ah for once, which is I can say with a
Speaker 1: straight face, I'm gonna get what I want.
Speaker 2: He's never once said.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's funny for me to be like,
Speaker 1: you know, for once, I'm getting I always I take
Speaker 1: care of everybody, but I take care of myself like first,
Speaker 1: like yeah, so this to me is like hey, man,
Speaker 1: like fucking I don't expect like I'm not out trying
Speaker 1: to buy a Lamborghini, you know what, fucking Ferrari or
Speaker 1: something like that, like some six figure fucking car or
Speaker 1: maybe million dollar car. I'm like, can we get this
Speaker 1: fucking giant Bullwinkle statue? Which update found out it's not
Speaker 1: from the sixties. It was made for the release of
Speaker 1: the movie in two thousand, so it's old but still
Speaker 1: eight feet though. It's fucking gorgeous and it looks like
Speaker 1: and it's my favorite rendition of Bullwinkle version of Bowinkle.
Speaker 2: It almost seems like you're like there's a goal with
Speaker 2: the with the Bullwinkle collecting, like like you're trying to
Speaker 2: curate I mean, you are like a museum. It feels
Speaker 2: like there's a there's purpose and intent behind it. It
Speaker 2: doesn't seems frivolous.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: It seems it seems like you're working towards a goal.
Speaker 1: What could be less, what could be more friendless, rather
Speaker 1: than like, uh, this is my cartoon Moss and screen.
Speaker 1: But it doesn't seem that.
Speaker 2: It really feels as though, it really feels as though
Speaker 2: there is intent behind it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the intent is like I want it all, I
Speaker 1: missed it. I don't know. I honestly don't know what
Speaker 1: it is. It's crazy and it's not a matter of
Speaker 1: like I didn't have this shit when I was a kid.
Speaker 1: I wasn't even into like Bowwinkle when I was a kid,
Speaker 1: So it's not like my lost youth I'm trying to rebut.
Speaker 2: Interesting, like if you were to see, if those listening
Speaker 2: were to see what the collection looks like and how
Speaker 2: big it is, it's truly shocking that you only started
Speaker 2: a couple months ago. It seems like there's something, there's
Speaker 2: something going on.
Speaker 1: It was like, my dad's been collecting the ship since
Speaker 1: he was a baby. Somebody gave him this when he
Speaker 1: was a child, and blah, blah blah. No, I just
Speaker 1: ever since the fire, to the point where Carol was like,
Speaker 1: please stop. So I've certainly had to slow down and stuff.
Speaker 1: But all that bowlingkle stuff triple quadruple what I paid
Speaker 1: for it. If you're like, I mean, I put more
Speaker 1: picture of that up on Instagram. You put that in
Speaker 1: the fucking catalog, man, because there's a catalog comes along
Speaker 1: with an auction.
Speaker 2: What after you die?
Speaker 1: Yeah, somebody comes in fucking prices that you get old
Speaker 1: Mike van eating over Vanning Galleries and shit. I'll probably
Speaker 1: throw you a Disney poster in a process. Sorry for
Speaker 1: your loss. But somebody comes in prices everything and shit
Speaker 1: and then sells all the contents of the heck. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, I think not mom stuff. She's still alive.
Speaker 1: She might have something to say about it. Right.
Speaker 2: I think when you pass, I will be thinking about
Speaker 2: other things than an auction. Why because it will be
Speaker 2: the worst time of my life.
Speaker 1: What a great distraction. You're like, I got business to do.
Speaker 1: I ain't got time for the tears, man. I've got
Speaker 1: to do what my father said. He said it on
Speaker 1: the show. He wants me to do this.
Speaker 2: I appreciate how you're thinking about setting me up for
Speaker 2: success after your.
Speaker 1: Not so much success. That's up to you, but it's
Speaker 1: like setting you up going like, don't work. That's for suckers.
Speaker 1: Live off of this shit, man, because something good's got
Speaker 1: to come from my death. And if you made a
Speaker 1: lot of money off it, that'd be.
Speaker 2: Hot, all right, you know what?
Speaker 1: And I don't mean in that way of like those
Speaker 1: sad movies where it's like, so I hired somebody to
Speaker 1: kill me so you could have the insurance money. I
Speaker 1: mean like when I'm dead and I've lived my happy,
Speaker 1: long life and shit, just you know, fucking see that
Speaker 1: trophy right there, the Jack Benny Award they only gave out,
Speaker 1: like there's only like thirty of them giving out that one,
Speaker 1: says Kevin smithbout someone will fucking pay for that. That's
Speaker 1: five hundred bucks pace for some gas some T shirts
Speaker 1: pace for T shirt right there? All right? I heard.
Speaker 2: Heard loud.
Speaker 1: As you look at the trophy and you're like, put
Speaker 1: my father, you could be like, would we want me
Speaker 1: to have this new T shirt? This was from the nineties.
Speaker 2: Remember we already had our last Easter with cinnamon.
Speaker 1: But it's ours. We had our last easter with Cinnamon,
Speaker 1: but the first. This is Harley's first Easter with her
Speaker 1: new bunny has Bills. The rest of Bill's fur molted
Speaker 1: off almost He's still wearing a little suit.
Speaker 2: He still has some weird pants.
Speaker 1: On helped him along with that.
Speaker 2: I try, I really try. I did Austin and I
Speaker 2: did help him through the process. But now he's uh,
Speaker 2: it's gotten to an area he won't let us touch
Speaker 2: his butt.
Speaker 1: It is gonna have once a year. Yep. Really, it's
Speaker 1: not just like, oh, I'm in puberty now. Yeah. Cinnamon
Speaker 1: never did this. Simon's laughing at you.
Speaker 2: Simon sent Bill one percent. Was like, here's a funny joke.
Speaker 1: She's like, remember all the things I was he was not.
Speaker 1: Cinnamon was like, miss me, I know you miss me,
Speaker 1: I know you miss me. Blah.
Speaker 2: That's exactly what she's saying.
Speaker 1: Do you know who sings that song? No? Are you
Speaker 1: fucking serious?
Speaker 2: What is it.
Speaker 1: Trying to think of another song? See if you you know?
Speaker 1: Do you they want to hear me? Do you they
Speaker 1: want to make me cry? No? You're usually good with
Speaker 1: the eighties music and ship. There's a whole you gotta
Speaker 1: line spotier kid. Those are two massive jams. Let me
Speaker 1: think of another one. Um comic coma coma coma comic
Speaker 1: comel come in go that guy you're getting it was
Speaker 1: indeed that guy? U That guy has a name.
Speaker 2: You know he was in a band too, is it
Speaker 2: boy George?
Speaker 6: That guy's name is indeed boy George. If you name
Speaker 6: the band for twenty thousand dollars, name the band that
Speaker 6: boy George was the lead singer.
Speaker 2: Uh fuck, I know, I know it's it's real obvious.
Speaker 1: But i'm Would you like to phone a friend? Yeah?
Speaker 1: For hint? Okay, we're calling your dad.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hey, could I get some help?
Speaker 1: Sorry? Who is this? It's your daughter? Oh, Harley, it
Speaker 1: didn't sound like her. What do you need help with?
Speaker 1: Who's bothering you? Now? You are? Oh? Well, we call
Speaker 1: me dad. She's doing it again. She called me up.
Speaker 1: Just blame me for shit. I think she wants to
Speaker 1: talk to you. Keep going, how do you get me
Speaker 1: to their course? And go? Just sketch going, bitch, I'm sitting.
Speaker 1: We ain't up with the bit fuck commit commit so
Speaker 1: busy singing? You forgot how to commit to the performance.
Speaker 2: My mind is reeling. I'm trying to figure.
Speaker 1: It out anyway, What can I do for you?
Speaker 2: Well, Dad, yeah, I have a question.
Speaker 1: Okay, why do you sound weird? Where are you? Are
Speaker 1: you in traffic? It sounds echoey? Why are people laughing?
Speaker 1: Are people laughing at you? Sounds up? Bitches? Do I
Speaker 1: got to put up another TikTok, another TikTok, a TikTok,
Speaker 1: Like it's got the most TikTok hits I've ever had
Speaker 1: on something is a video where somebody may some comments
Speaker 1: about you, and I was like, hey, fukoh, And I
Speaker 1: went back and I'm pretty hard. What never you never
Speaker 1: saw it?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: I mean it's not that it's like it's a standard ass.
Speaker 1: Oh god, no, this goes back. Let me see. Let's see.
Speaker 1: It was.
Speaker 6: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1: Two point two.
Speaker 3: Ult Oh that's very nice.
Speaker 1: But it was off. Some dudes comment and like I
Speaker 1: put up something.
Speaker 2: The comment you don't want to say.
Speaker 1: It's the same man, random. But the crazy thing is
Speaker 1: like like he was like he said shit about you,
Speaker 1: like me putting you in stuff, And I fucking like,
Speaker 1: you know, it's so easy to fucking click on their
Speaker 1: their own accounts and then see him like one of
Speaker 1: the first things I see is him going like, my
Speaker 1: daughter means the world to me, and so wow, I
Speaker 1: fucking use his comment to be like, you know, it's
Speaker 1: that question answer mode thing so you can click on
Speaker 1: a question and just answer. So it was a response
Speaker 1: to that where I wasn't like you're a piece of shit,
Speaker 1: but I was like, hey, man, this this guy went
Speaker 1: after me for fucking putting my daughter in things, even
Speaker 1: though he fucking like puts like he fucking said nice
Speaker 1: things about his daughter, and why would he you know,
Speaker 1: we all love our daughters, So hey, fuck what guy?
Speaker 1: That guy instantly shut down his account and ran. I mean,
Speaker 1: he abandoned like the Internet as a whole. And it
Speaker 1: wasn't my intent. I was like, oh, fucking child this guy.
Speaker 1: And I didn't set any bunny on him and shit,
Speaker 1: but like it was just I mean it in my
Speaker 1: head and heart, I'm like, oh, maybe I reached him,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like maybe the dude was like,
Speaker 1: you know, what the fuck am I doing? I got
Speaker 1: a daughter. I'm attacking a guy wh's got a daughter
Speaker 1: for what what's the reason? Fuck this? And maybe he
Speaker 1: turned over a new leaf. Whatever he did, he fucking
Speaker 1: killed his account instantly, and shit, damn, two point two
Speaker 1: million views on it. Honestly is the highest fucking viewed
Speaker 1: thing I have on fucking TikTok. Maybe the perfect length,
Speaker 1: maybe like oh look at him fucking defending and shit
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 2: It's very sweet, sat thank you.
Speaker 1: Fuck that guy like fucking it. Like I just I
Speaker 1: just don't understand what did I see yesterday? So depressing, Well,
Speaker 1: it wasn't depressing. Made me happy, but it was depressing
Speaker 1: that I had to exist, Like I guess Selena Gomez
Speaker 1: put up some fucking picture and I guess a bunch
Speaker 1: of fucking Neanderthal's comment shit. But somebody took their comments
Speaker 1: and they're horrendous. But then they took screenshots of the
Speaker 1: person making the comment, and it's like, who the fuck
Speaker 1: do you think you are? Bro, Like look at you, like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this is like there's no fucking rommere
Speaker 1: like this. Oh you freak. And then you realize that
Speaker 1: like that's as good as their day is gonna get
Speaker 1: is trying to bring somebody else's day down, And that,
Speaker 1: my friends, is the state of the entire fucking country.
Speaker 1: How we wound up where we are right now because
Speaker 1: everybody's just like allowed to express their rage and shit
Speaker 1: for no good reason. Why is everyone so upset? And
Speaker 1: I think you're fucking upset at the wrong fucking people.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have a panic at talk if you don't
Speaker 2: say what band.
Speaker 1: Boy George is in? Are you still fucking lingering on this.
Speaker 2: Whole last time? I'm like, what the fuck is it?
Speaker 1: Give me a hit?
Speaker 2: What does it start with?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that you're not in the club.
Speaker 2: Oh oh, what is the fuck?
Speaker 1: Fuck? Time won't give me time and time makes love
Speaker 1: speel and they got something real because you and me
Speaker 1: we know you got nothing but time. Time won't give
Speaker 1: me time. I cannot give made time in a million years.
Speaker 1: I could never have put together the sentence you were
Speaker 1: going to say about panic attack or whatever. The fuck.
Speaker 1: I thought you're gonna be like, stop talking about this ship,
Speaker 1: but instead you were like, what's the name of the band?
Speaker 2: Because it's been eating at my soul.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's not the Mickey Mouse Club. You know it's not
Speaker 1: the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2: I know what club is it?
Speaker 1: What club is it?
Speaker 2: Tell me?
Speaker 1: What do you need to know? Do you want me
Speaker 1: to tell you?
Speaker 2: I don't think I can remember, Well.
Speaker 1: Then you're notice cultured. Oh I was.
Speaker 2: Eating at my soul. Yes, I was so bothered. I
Speaker 2: could not remember.
Speaker 1: Culture Club is the name of that band. But it
Speaker 1: seems like you. Three of their four four songs I crooned,
Speaker 1: albeit badly, did not seem to register with you.
Speaker 2: I don't really listen to pop.
Speaker 1: Bro, you were raised down eighties pop.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know that.
Speaker 1: Actually that is yeah, that's why I don't track. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: are you really Harley Quit? My name is Kevin Smith.
Speaker 1: Who are you? And where's my daughter? Well? Are you
Speaker 1: one of them pod fuckers? Not pod fucker like a
Speaker 1: pot but a pod person? I just didn't want that
Speaker 1: pod person a. What did you ever see they and
Speaker 1: the Body Snatchers? Oh? Yeah, to catch your little notebook
Speaker 1: and write down another thing that you got to watch
Speaker 1: the player? You saw the player? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Oh no, I've seen Invasion of the Body Snatch.
Speaker 1: Which one because there are multiple? I guess the original
Speaker 1: one black and white one? No, okay, that's the original.
Speaker 1: So the second one has Donald Subtleman in it, and
Speaker 1: people are like, that's when you saw? Yeah, it's terrifying.
Speaker 1: Is directed by Philip Kaufman. The director of You're never
Speaker 1: gonna get this, so I'll just tell you the right stuff.
Speaker 1: Have you ever seen the right stuff? No? They said
Speaker 1: there was a demon in the air. It's about you
Speaker 1: know what I should watch?
Speaker 2: How does your brain hold so much information?
Speaker 1: Useless information, that's the key. Useless information doesn't take up
Speaker 1: a lot of space.
Speaker 2: Well, that brings us perfectly flowers.
Speaker 1: Kids, What is this?
Speaker 2: This is called that's so nineties.
Speaker 1: That's so nineties.
Speaker 2: It's nineties trivia.
Speaker 1: We have.
Speaker 2: We have a pop culture section. I did us a
Speaker 2: favor and I removed the sports section, and thank Christ.
Speaker 2: So I have left pop culture, TV, music, movies, and
Speaker 2: then a category called who said or sang that? Would
Speaker 2: you like to choose a category?
Speaker 1: Now you pick?
Speaker 2: Okay, let's see.
Speaker 1: Do you hear the outside? There's a little bit hi coyotes.
Speaker 2: I saw one the other day.
Speaker 1: It was so cute. They're cute. Birdie, here fire away.
Speaker 1: You may have had.
Speaker 2: Oh here we are here we are Ben Affleck dated
Speaker 2: which one of his Shakespeare in Love co stars.
Speaker 1: That would be Joe Joe Findes. No, I'm kidding, GWth
Speaker 1: Joe Findes played Shakespeare. That is Gwyneth Paltrow who I
Speaker 1: went out to lunch with both of them at the
Speaker 1: Time Cafe in New York City. I wonder if the
Speaker 1: Time Cafe still exists, hm hmm. And she was a
Speaker 1: voice because we were doing the Clerks Cartoon around there,
Speaker 1: so she did a voice on the Clerk's cartoon.
Speaker 2: Oh really.
Speaker 1: And then when we were sitting there, I was like,
Speaker 1: they served me some eggs that were kind of running.
Speaker 1: I was like, what is this goop? And she was
Speaker 1: like goop. Oh my god.
Speaker 4: It was crazy.
Speaker 2: It was crazy, crazy guy.
Speaker 1: AnyWho, next question?
Speaker 2: Now, you asked me one only from the music section.
Speaker 2: Why this is a this is a game?
Speaker 1: You asking me ship?
Speaker 2: This is a two way street?
Speaker 1: Bo is? Right? All right? Here we're going You're not
Speaker 1: going to get any of these? Should I pick ones?
Speaker 1: I think you might get?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Exactly what Sea Creature features on the album cover for
Speaker 1: the Fat of the Land by Prodigy Clulu. Where's the
Speaker 1: answer on the back?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: You know this? You thought this was one.
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 1: You said music, that's music. It's a crab. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: even that was not a No. Which radio Head album
Speaker 1: kid A or Okay Computer was released in the hindies okay, computer,
Speaker 1: well done, you got it with Which song did Mark
Speaker 1: Harry hold the number one spot in the US for
Speaker 1: eight weeks in nineteen ninety three? Ninety three? So this
Speaker 1: is a year before it's the year I make clerk.
Speaker 1: I'm going to guess vision of Love. But maybe it's
Speaker 1: that fucking Christmas song. Maybe she was already singing that
Speaker 1: Christmas song by that point.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I can't say. I know.
Speaker 1: I know this one, dream Lover. What a bunch of
Speaker 1: assholes we are? I know, come on, never fucking would
Speaker 1: have thought dream way.
Speaker 2: More up on our Mariah Carrey.
Speaker 1: Uh to finish the card? What was the title MC
Speaker 1: hammers Tight nineteen ninety one album.
Speaker 2: You know what, I'm not going to know that.
Speaker 1: Title track too legit, too legit to quit? Hey, hey
Speaker 1: too legit legitimate? Hi? Yi, that was good, thank you.
Speaker 2: What was the answer to legit? Qu You were like.
Speaker 1: Okay, yes, okay, okay, here we go.
Speaker 2: What was the surname of Sabrina the Teenage Witch?
Speaker 1: I know Sabrina. I didn't watch that show, but I
Speaker 1: do know the comics, and I just wroteche which I
Speaker 1: proof read today against the art and it's wonderful. The
Speaker 1: drawings of Harley done in the Archie style because I
Speaker 1: included the character. Really yeah, it's and they drew her
Speaker 1: like it's crazy how they nailed you.
Speaker 4: It's so cool.
Speaker 1: Put that ship on your face? What is it called?
Speaker 1: What that ship? What's it called?
Speaker 2: You pitch some mole?
Speaker 1: Asshole? I used to have one. I think you have
Speaker 1: a bump. Where is it like you? Yeah, you have
Speaker 1: that's why. Like when I seen it for the first
Speaker 1: time when you were little, I was like, Oh, that's
Speaker 1: fucked up for me.
Speaker 2: Jennifer color, Yeah, yours isn't a different color though, minus yours.
Speaker 1: Yours is like, yeah, yours is better than mine because
Speaker 1: mine's just some fucking discolored, blotchy ship. Yours is like
Speaker 1: Happy Birthday, yeath day. You could only see his face
Speaker 1: right and you can go to Kevin Smith club dot
Speaker 1: com right now and join up to what you're the
Speaker 1: stick with me and now back to the show. Happy
Speaker 1: How do you know about that? I mean, I know
Speaker 1: you're like, I don't live in a hole. I know, yeah,
Speaker 1: but you live in you don't live in the culture club.
Speaker 1: We've now found you know what.
Speaker 2: I have a blind spot first for mail eighties pop.
Speaker 1: Why would you know that? Like, did they study that
Speaker 1: in school? The like one time a movie stars sang
Speaker 1: to the President of the United States. I don't what
Speaker 1: did you see it in a movie?
Speaker 2: I feel like I've read some books on that era,
Speaker 2: did you Yeah.
Speaker 1: Very flat out read or like skimmed to the chapters
Speaker 1: you like.
Speaker 2: No, I've actually believe it or not?
Speaker 1: So you know some shit about Marilyn Monroe.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I've seen I've seen My Week with Marilyn.
Speaker 2: What's that the movie was, isn't that Michelle Williams.
Speaker 1: Yeah? Did you see the other Marylyn movie, The Scout?
Speaker 1: I did not. There was also there was one I
Speaker 1: really liked from years ago that had Mirror Servino and
Speaker 1: Ashley Judd. Nashley Judd played Norma Jean Baker and mire
Speaker 1: Servino played Maryland.
Speaker 2: Well, really that is cool because you know.
Speaker 1: The idea is like they couldn't have been more different.
Speaker 2: Well, that's really interesting.
Speaker 1: I like that. I forget what it was called Normagy
Speaker 1: and marilynd maybe or something. I think it was maybe
Speaker 1: an HBO movie. I did not see the Anna da
Speaker 1: Armis movie because I'd heard it was very I did
Speaker 1: not see that rough. Yeah, I'm not. Yeah, it's happy story.
Speaker 2: No, it's it's so sad. It's so sad.
Speaker 1: How did we get here?
Speaker 2: My face? Yes? Anyways, who said or sang that hit
Speaker 2: me baby? One more time?
Speaker 1: Writney Spears correct, never write.
Speaker 2: On your friends and always keep your mouth shut.
Speaker 1: That who said it?
Speaker 2: It said or sang? It's not all songs. This is
Speaker 2: obviously not song.
Speaker 1: Wait, so you want me to say who said it?
Speaker 1: Who said it? Where did it come from?
Speaker 2: Both who said it?
Speaker 1: Say the exact line again. Robert de Niro playing Jimmy and.
Speaker 2: Goodfellas, Yes, Jimmy Conway and Goodfellows. I'm the dude, so
Speaker 2: that's what you call me. So it's the character who
Speaker 2: said it?
Speaker 1: And oh fucking duh big Lebowski and that would be
Speaker 1: the dude, Yes, Jeff Lebowski.
Speaker 2: As if.
Speaker 1: That would be uh share as played by Alsia Silverstone
Speaker 1: and Clueless.
Speaker 2: Killing I never want to hear you say I want
Speaker 2: it that way?
Speaker 1: That would be the Backstreet Boys.
Speaker 2: The answer card says the swoon worthy Backstreet Boys. They've
Speaker 2: added some commentary. Yeah, as for that, you killed that card,
Speaker 2: you killed that card.
Speaker 1: I will take you to the next music card. And
Speaker 1: see how you do don't look at the back, don't
Speaker 1: try to around the world is the hit record by
Speaker 1: which dope DJ.
Speaker 2: Duo around the world?
Speaker 1: I can't say DJ duo? How many of those you know? Not? Okay?
Speaker 1: The ones you do know? Tgduo, you don't even have
Speaker 1: to see their faces.
Speaker 2: I know that was a hint, but she was.
Speaker 1: And if you're watching that Kevin Smift Club version of
Speaker 1: beardlesstick with me see me making eyes like that's a
Speaker 1: dead giveaway. I don't know. Uh.
Speaker 2: Daft punk, Oh, daft punk started in the nine.
Speaker 1: Yes, isn't all non dis trivia? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have thought about that.
Speaker 1: From what Green Day album does the song a basket
Speaker 1: Case come from?
Speaker 2: That would be Dukie?
Speaker 1: I did it all for the Dukie? What the Dukie face?
Speaker 1: Show on your face? Which band had a worldwide hit
Speaker 1: with Don't Speak No Doubt? I tried to say it
Speaker 1: in a way that wouldn't give it away. Don't speak
Speaker 1: same thing now I've gone religious? Which best selling American
Speaker 1: artists originally came to fame through the slamming boy band
Speaker 1: known as Zincu justin Timberly. That's right, man, that's right.
Speaker 1: He's be brought sexy back. Then they took it the
Speaker 1: funk away for real. The nineteen ninety eight hit Iris
Speaker 1: by the Goo Goo Dolls was a soundtrack to which movie.
Speaker 2: I have no idea.
Speaker 1: I don't want the word to see me because I
Speaker 1: don't think that they understand.
Speaker 2: That's what the song is.
Speaker 1: Everything's made to be broken. I just want, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe that song is Iris really Goo Goo Dolls, And
Speaker 1: it was featured. It was the single from a movie
Speaker 1: that that made a lot of money. This movie was
Speaker 1: an American remake of a German film. Oh and the
Speaker 1: original German film is incredibly important to me because it
Speaker 1: shapes Dogma there. You're never gonna get this. There was
Speaker 1: a German film from years ago by Vim Vendors called
Speaker 1: Wings of Desire and it was about angels walking around
Speaker 1: Berlin and shit and fucking this. One angel who wants
Speaker 1: to not be an angel or more and be a human.
Speaker 1: By the end of the movie becomes a human. There's
Speaker 1: a sequel called The Far Away So Close, where his
Speaker 1: friend Kazio the angel Casio also like then follow suit
Speaker 1: becomes human. But it's a beautiful movie where like you know,
Speaker 1: they can hear like our thoughts. So people will walk
Speaker 1: by and you just hear their internal monologue and fucking
Speaker 1: like the angels just watch and stuff like that. Really
Speaker 1: beautiful flick. So they did an American remake and it
Speaker 1: was called City of Angels.
Speaker 2: It was a long journey to get to that answer,
Speaker 2: but there it is.
Speaker 1: I can't I watched City of Angels once. Nick Cage
Speaker 1: plays the angel. This time around it was played by
Speaker 1: was it Bruno Ganz? In the original, he's the guy.
Speaker 1: Have you've ever watched one of those Downfall memes where
Speaker 1: they take the scene from the movie Downfall about like
Speaker 1: Hitler and the Bunker and he's surrounded by his generals
Speaker 1: and they it's all in German, so unless you speak
Speaker 1: Jeremy can't understand it. But what people have done for
Speaker 1: years since this movie came out on the internet is
Speaker 1: they take the scene and they put American subtitles over
Speaker 1: it that have anything to do with any current situation.
Speaker 1: So in the scene, his generals are telling him that
Speaker 1: they've lost this, this, this, and this, and then Hitler's like, well,
Speaker 1: we'll be all right because we have this, and then
Speaker 1: they're like we lost that too, and then he's like
Speaker 1: everybody who's not These people get out of the room
Speaker 1: and then everyone leaves and shit, and then he's like dude,
Speaker 1: and he like launches and it's screaming and fucking like
Speaker 1: German and Ship. It's like a over the top, huge performance.
Speaker 1: It was like this smin and everyone's like reacting wide
Speaker 1: it and Ship. So but it's just I mean, it's
Speaker 1: in the original movie. It's like powerful as fuck, but
Speaker 1: it's been repurposed on the Internet to like make gazillion
Speaker 1: jokes where it's like Hitler weighs in on and they
Speaker 1: did one about me years ago where it was like, uh,
Speaker 1: what was it? Ben Affleck finds out that Kevin Smith
Speaker 1: is making Jaysun a Bob reboot without him like that
Speaker 1: I've been like done a few times and Ship, but
Speaker 1: it's so fucking fantastic. But that guy played the Angel
Speaker 1: as well. He played a brilliant Hitler. I think he
Speaker 1: got awards for it if I remember correctly. He's a
Speaker 1: wonderful German actor. And Ship Wings Desire excellent film. Then
Speaker 1: Bender's great filmmaker. City of Angels. I can't I can't,
Speaker 1: honestly can't remember much other than that song and Nick
Speaker 1: Cage and Meg Ryan was the female. Wow, but also.
Speaker 2: About Angels already.
Speaker 1: Made a lot more money than our movie about Angels.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what, well, your movie about Angels is
Speaker 2: about to make some more money, So go to dog.
Speaker 1: They ain't getting no twenty five anniversary re release. City
Speaker 1: Angels as I think it, I guess it took place
Speaker 1: in La hence the name City of Angels.
Speaker 2: That makes sense.
Speaker 1: I would check out the original took place in the
Speaker 1: Baillian Aliens. They use that song in the recent movie Companion,
Speaker 1: which fucking great fun movie.
Speaker 2: I still have to see it.
Speaker 1: Clever script, ask away, little girl.
Speaker 2: Everyone knows the first and second rules about fight club,
Speaker 2: but how about the eighth and final rule.
Speaker 1: If this is your first night at fight club, you fight,
Speaker 1: you have to fight. Yeah?
Speaker 2: Wow, good job, thank you. That was impressive.
Speaker 1: I saw that in the theater with you.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: That was my first film movie was Fight Club. Me
Speaker 1: and Jen and Malcolm took car lit to see Fight
Speaker 1: Club and Harley was in a bassinet and she slept
Speaker 1: like a baby the whole time, never made a noise.
Speaker 1: But at the end of the movie, as we were
Speaker 1: getting up the two fifty year old to sixty year
Speaker 1: old women in front of us were like, you can't
Speaker 1: bring a baby to a movie like this. I was like, baby,
Speaker 1: didn't make a noise. She's like that doesn't matter, that's irresponsible.
Speaker 1: I was like, she slept to the whole thing. And
Speaker 1: Jennifer was like, ignore them.
Speaker 2: I think it's pretty iconic that my first film was
Speaker 2: Fight Club.
Speaker 1: No doubt, man, I mean, look, first movie is a Fincher,
Speaker 1: can't be that. Thank God, your first movie wasn't a
Speaker 1: Kevin Smith picture.
Speaker 2: Hey, now, don't be self deprecating. Which, No, that one's
Speaker 2: too easy? Well Which nineteen It's really nice.
Speaker 1: Same from Tap It's very nice, Thank you.
Speaker 2: Good, which nineteen ninety nine horror movie was filmed in
Speaker 2: the style of a documentary using a handheld camera.
Speaker 1: Nineteen ninety nine, the same year as Dogma, It also
Speaker 1: went to can They had a massive party on the
Speaker 1: beach with a blow up version of the stick figure
Speaker 1: popularized in the movie known as.
Speaker 2: Which Project.
Speaker 1: That movie that sounds like at that was the beginning
Speaker 1: of the found footage genre. Blumhouse Pictures exists because of
Speaker 1: that movie, not because they put it out, is because
Speaker 1: Jason Bloom was like, oh shit, this and that's what
Speaker 1: they built an empire doing versions of Blair Witch Project.
Speaker 2: I remember the first time you showed me Blair Witch Project.
Speaker 2: I was probably way too young yet, my my.
Speaker 1: I don't remember that as much as I do remember
Speaker 1: showing it to your mother.
Speaker 2: John, your memories mean a lot to you.
Speaker 1: No, but it's hers was. When you hear the story,
Speaker 1: I'll be like, oh, yeah, like that wind. We barely
Speaker 1: knew each other. You weren't born yet. So let me see.
Speaker 1: She had just moved out to Jersey. Well, we were
Speaker 1: in the Ocean Porthouse, so she was pregnant, and we
Speaker 1: got to the Ocean Courthouse by the end of the year, yes,
Speaker 1: because Thanksgiving we spent with Bob Hawk and she came
Speaker 1: out in July. So by the time the holidays rolled
Speaker 1: around Nove of ninety eight, we were already in the
Speaker 1: Ocean Courthouse, which you came home to after you were born.
Speaker 1: So it's January, and the Sundance Film Festival is happening.
Speaker 1: Is now January of ninety nine. Me and this girl
Speaker 1: I barely know, you know, I haven't even known.
Speaker 2: It for a year at this point, right, but yet
Speaker 2: is carrying your child to continue?
Speaker 1: We are in bed and I'm falling asleep and she's like,
Speaker 1: what do you wanta watch? And I was like, she goes,
Speaker 1: what's this. There's a tape BHS tape of the blair
Speaker 1: Witch Project that John Pearson had sent me. John Pearson
Speaker 1: was the producer's rap on Clerks. He also worked with
Speaker 1: Eduardo and Dan who had made The blair Witch Project
Speaker 1: and stuff, so he got like an early copy of
Speaker 1: it and it was playing at Sundance now. John Pearson
Speaker 1: had worked with the boys made blair Witch because he
Speaker 1: had a TV show called split Screen and they started
Speaker 1: featuring the blair Witch Project on split Screen. So John
Speaker 1: was hip to it, Wayne Advance, and I too was
Speaker 1: hip to it. Wayne Advanced because John and John told
Speaker 1: me like, this movie makes you think like it's real,
Speaker 1: he's gone, but it's not. It was a hoax movie.
Speaker 1: We didn't have the terminology for found footage movie. It
Speaker 1: was just like, it's a hoax movie. It's like the
Speaker 1: whole thing's made up. So I knew that your mother did,
Speaker 1: so she's like, what is this. I was like, this
Speaker 1: is a movie that's playing Sundays right now, has got
Speaker 1: all the heat in the world. She's like, really, I
Speaker 1: was like, everybody's talking about it's going to sell for
Speaker 1: a lot of money, and stuff goes should we watch it?
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, let's put it. So we
Speaker 1: put it in and I fell asleep while we were
Speaker 1: watching it. I was shaken awake, like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: get up, get up, get up. And I was like, what,
Speaker 1: what's the matter of your rights baby whatever? She's like, no,
Speaker 1: what's going on? What's going on? This boy is in
Speaker 1: the he's steering at the wall. Well, I won't anyone
Speaker 1: help them? And I was like, what do you what
Speaker 1: are you talking about? She's like, this is that boy?
Speaker 1: I want anyone help him. I don't understand. And I
Speaker 1: was like, this is fucking happening. This is a movie.
Speaker 1: She goes, no, it is, it is real. I was like, no,
Speaker 1: this is all made up. I fucking swear to you.
Speaker 1: Because she's like, no, no, this can't be this is happening.
Speaker 1: Why won't anyone help him? And I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: telling you right now, John Pearson sent me this movie.
Speaker 1: It's fiction, is supposed to feel real, but it's like
Speaker 1: a mockumentary, but it's in horror movie and shit, she
Speaker 1: goes boom, You're lying, and I was like, give me
Speaker 1: one second. And I called up John Pearson in the
Speaker 1: middle of Oh my God, Sun Dance and Shit, and
Speaker 1: I was like, hey man, I'm sorry. Can you buck
Speaker 1: and tell Jennifer that The Blair Witch Project is a
Speaker 1: fake movie? And I was like, here because I'm half
Speaker 1: asleep and I don't hear him, but all I hear
Speaker 1: is her, And she goes, John, why won't anyone help him?
Speaker 1: What do you mean? No, you're just saying, but why
Speaker 1: I won't. She was so fixated on why people wouldn't
Speaker 1: tell these kids, but that movie work.
Speaker 2: It's like the camera crew was she thought it.
Speaker 1: Was like happening in real time or something like that.
Speaker 1: Or she was just like why are we watched? She
Speaker 1: felt like dirty watching it because she's like, this is
Speaker 1: fucked up, Like something happened to these kids. That boy's
Speaker 1: face in the wall, like what's going on? Why are
Speaker 1: you sleeping? Wake up? We gotta call the cops. That
Speaker 1: movie works like crazy on it.
Speaker 2: What a what a I'm so jealous. What a time
Speaker 2: to be alive in a world where you're watching a
Speaker 2: found footage movie for the first time, not knowing that
Speaker 2: it's a genre that exists.
Speaker 1: Now you have a lot of firsts.
Speaker 2: Man, you're even fucking lucky. My life is not as
Speaker 2: interesting is The first are much more horrifying, and the.
Speaker 1: Highs are non existent, but the lows are even lower.
Speaker 1: And with that, that's how we end this week's episode
Speaker 1: of Beardless Dickless Me. Something you want? Do you want
Speaker 1: to hear us continue doing trivia? Well, follow us over
Speaker 1: to Beardless stickless plus True. There it is. That's marketing
Speaker 1: right there over at that Kevinsmith club dot com. Yes,
Speaker 1: there's a paywall, but it's worth paying. Speaking of pay
Speaker 1: where can I get one of them sweet Dickla shirts?
Speaker 2: Well, thank you for asking that, Beard liisticklessme dot com.
Speaker 1: Do you put it up in your Instagram stories every day?
Speaker 1: Because if not, you're doing it wrong. Takes you two
Speaker 1: seconds in the morning and be like put this up boo,
Speaker 1: and then you sew a shirt and then it was
Speaker 1: worth your time. Take a page out of this guy's book.
Speaker 2: I went to clip shirts. I don't know if I
Speaker 2: need everyone to remind I don't need to remind everyone
Speaker 2: every day that I get up every day.
Speaker 1: And I gotta sell Kevin smith ship every day. I
Speaker 1: gotta sling this Kevin Smith shit every damn day. I
Speaker 1: gotta sell it like I believe in it, Like oh yeah,
Speaker 1: look at this movie. It's different than all either movies
Speaker 1: that game before. Oh my god, reinvention, that's what it's
Speaker 1: all about. But no, really, what it's all about is
Speaker 1: fucking selling this talk that you got that's true when
Speaker 1: and also before we got out of here. You know what,
Speaker 1: I'll say that for the next show, do you hear showing? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll ask you on the next show and next show,
Speaker 1: remember will be president. In the past, the features the past.
Speaker 1: The past is the feature. In the futures, the past
Speaker 1: is a feature because I'll be going on tour Dogma
Speaker 1: the Resurrection. Tour is happening from April twentieth for twenty
Speaker 1: to May thirtieth or something twentieth, I forget. The last
Speaker 1: date is in Burbank. There are twenty dates total. Come
Speaker 1: out and see the movie with me. There's some tickets
Speaker 1: left to the second shows and stuff, but mostly everything
Speaker 1: is selling out or sold out, and then it's in
Speaker 1: theaters everywhere. You don't even have to see it with
Speaker 1: me on June fifth, man. Ah, so next time you
Speaker 1: hear us talking, it'll be something. Just the future in
Speaker 1: the future is the past present. So if like you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I just read it on TikTok that
Speaker 1: fucking silent God died and you hear my voice, you'll know.
Speaker 2: Why I hate this.
Speaker 1: I'm a living goost. Just remember, future is the past,
Speaker 1: the past, future in the future. I'm telling you, man,
Speaker 1: there's a movie to be made where I do like
Speaker 1: quote unquote diet but you bring me back from the
Speaker 1: other side by chanting that over and over again, where
Speaker 1: you're like, the future is the past and the past
Speaker 1: and the future. The future is the past and best
Speaker 1: and that just takes you to places and time and ship.
Speaker 1: But sometimes it takes you to like fucking horrible places
Speaker 1: like fucking revolutionary war, my fucker statutes, and you're like, ah,
Speaker 1: the future some red coat coming at you ship like
Speaker 1: the future of the future American? OI what they call it?
Speaker 1: Did they call us Americans at that point? I mean, look,
Speaker 1: nobody alive can tell me there was the correct response
Speaker 1: having been there, but somebody must know. I wonder what
Speaker 1: they call this like in because we call them like
Speaker 1: red coats. That wasn't their real name. Right, that's just
Speaker 1: because they literally, I mean, the least inventive fucking name
Speaker 1: on the planet. What do you call these motherfuckers? We
Speaker 1: call them red coats? Why what's that about the douchebags?
Speaker 1: Now they wear red coats? Let me call you hat?
Speaker 1: You know what? Speaking of hat, it's up floating the
Speaker 1: show last week? Noticed I looked like a real fucking
Speaker 1: dick my hair sticking out. No ship man, I had
Speaker 1: a hair plume sticking out of my head.
Speaker 3: You know what.
Speaker 2: I've offered you my little stick in my purse.
Speaker 1: Well, then you should give it to me the start
Speaker 1: of every show, Okay, before the next year, or if
Speaker 1: you see it creeping out.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I'm not noticing, how do you not? Sometimes I'm
Speaker 2: I'm focusing on the conversationally judging your appearance.
Speaker 1: All right, I'm kids. Have you had a good time
Speaker 1: listening to a girl and her dad? There it is.
Speaker 1: There's your vegan apertua for this week, you know, for
Speaker 1: beardless dickless me.
Speaker 2: I'm Kevin Smith and I'm Harley Quinn Smith.
Speaker 1: You have a beardless dickless day. This has been a
Speaker 1: podcast production, some podcast podcasts using our mouths on you
Speaker 1: since two thousand and seven, Hey kids, did you like
Speaker 1: what you just heard? Well, guess what. We've got tons
Speaker 1: more man thousands of hours of podcasts waiting for you
Speaker 1: at that Kevinsmithclub dot com. Go sign up now,