three two one go excellent sexy are you all ready for another episode of warhams
it's an illusion until blessed and it's time boys for episode 14 of warhams thank you so much
everybody for coming back i know the last year was an interesting one but we're here on the new
year the new year new warhams which looks exactly the fucking same overlay didn't change but it's
still the same the same warhams you know and love and we're so happy to have you all with us thank
you all so much for coming back if you'd like to tell everybody that we are currently live now the
show has indeed started we're starting tiny bit early so we can go through our little morning
announcements
and also one quick thing thank everybody for purchasing some of our merch stuff the pie
hot shirt on red bubble and all that other stuff has uh been doing pretty well so thank you all
so much for supporting us on that that will go into helping the orphans and so on and so forth
now as we go through it you might be wondering hi my friend told me about warhams and i have
no idea what warhams is warhams is a tabletop rpg show who plays
warhammer
the warhammer 40k tabletop rpg called wrath and glory and in wrath and glory we have several dice
now you've got to see the advertisement little thingy on the bottom right that's near the scroll
that basically tells you if you donate directly to the channel uh you could basically buy one of
these dice and these dice help us out in the game and can also mess us up in the game for example
the dice at the bottom right which will now go up to four and what that four does is so those are
ruined die now this is what the game master uses to mess us up they basically use these things
that basically go like hey you know what i really don't like how well these players are doing i think
i'm going to absolutely destroy them so i am now going to just use these points to give enemy
special abilities keep them alive longer or just do nasty things to us in general so those are what
those are for to basically you know mess all that up uh additionally what you see these dice are
going up right now we'll be starting with none right now but just to kind of show you that we're
going to show you what they are the bottom left die is the golden looking eagle dice our glory
die we use those um very regularly they help us increase things in damage they help us
basically do skill checks a lot better overall they're very useful to us they help us advance
through the story and things a lot easier and you guys can help us out basically by contributing
to get some of those dice but right now we start with zero at the beginning of every session
but we do have some special dice for each and every single one of us you'll now see a
pairing under our little circle tokens some a couple more dies that look like silver die these
are wrath die these basically help us uh kind of re-roll fail check say for example if i make a
check thing to do a thing and i had a bunch of dice that did not succeed because this is a d6
system i spend one of those to re-roll those failed ones or i use them to make a narrative
declaration this is more like a cinematic game in a way it's not like super tactical you know
and all that stuff but it's like it's more it's more story driven kind of stuff but these help
advance the story but of course there's all this stuff but who's going to be using these dice who's
going to be you know advancing the story what adventurers will come with us to help push us on
to the world of the 41st millennium and i would like to introduce you to the ones who help bring
all of this together starting with pybrain our skitai or skitai ranger played by speaker d
yes i am speaker d i play pybrain
the adventurous reckless bulldozer of a skitari ranger with his trusty power sword i am also one
of the lead writers of if the emperor had a text speech device the voice actor for the god emperor
of mankind and as true and i'd also like to remind you all that edge and christian uh never
officially stopped being vampires after they left the brood never saw it happen still vampires and
the one to purge the vampires our inquisitorial acolyte reeb van horn played
by mr arundel yes i am arundel and i am one of the other lead writers on if the emperor had a text
speech device and occasional voice actor as well as general handyman i do everything before the
show because i am dead uh and i'm going to be playing as reeb and he's going to he's going to
be himself in this show and the one playing the psyker of the group the crazed old man the man
from finrisian or finrisian land rather is me i'm playing uh lorne basically i'm the
voice actor uh for leman russ in if the emperor had a text speech device and i'll be playing lorne
you're on my channel and we must not forget captain of the debt collector our resident
rogue trader captain zedek played by hulky crow that is me i am hulky crow i am a on again off
again voice actor for the emperor had a text speech device i play cave on shrike and a couple
other assorted screaming characters that alpha view so patiently calls me up and asks me for my
voices i'm also the proud owner of one parenthesis one giant stuffed appleton he is a wonderful
addition to my household and the ones who also like to eat apples i heard is the one who's going
to be destroying us all utterly we've we've heard people saying we've been having an easy ride
thus far a very easy ride like oh these guys don't face any real peril in the 41st millennium
it's just a bunch of you know tuckle fucks to most of these guys
but i feel this game master might have some future plans for us and his name is thurston hillman
hello hello that's all he usually has to say that we're gonna ignore everything wow
you know i i had a whole thing ready this time and you just fucking steal it from me hi no my
name is thurston hillman i am uh the like pathfinder society person for paizo is my like
job job and uh i i come here and i enjoy like hurting these players and i'm very excited for
this which is kind of the actual official wrap-up episode for our first season as we
will be then in subsequent weeks going into our next season also you may think i'm a bad person
but remember there's someone out there who's making rule 34 of the pillsbury dubway
i didn't need this session i didn't need this information
i'm i told you i'm stepping up my game this time all right we're gonna turn that off so welcome
everyone back to warhams we're not gonna go into any further announcements right now just
remember that we will get things wrong you know we're probably gonna mess up a rule uh there's
probably gonna be a lore thing for 40k that we might mess up so please don't get too mad at us
like don't like if if you're gonna get real mad for someone who didn't remember a specific detail
in a book i'm sorry we're just gonna keep going life so we appreciate everybody who does give us
a heads up though respectfully to be like hey this is actually the lore bit so we can better fix that
in the future which you guys have been super awesome with uh basically in the past when you've
reminded us of stuff that we may have messed up
rules wise lore wise etc we're human beings we're not perfect but we do fight for the god
input of mankind and mr thurston hillman what chaos forces do you have prepared for us today
yes yes well as we last left off our our players had managed to take control of the
mortis carcerum prison complex after inciting a riot and after rejoining with with lorn they
thawed during this riot they went to the chapel to facilitate communication to the upper level
where they had their demands heard and the senior arbitrator mclaw doter she agreed to the pc's
demands but then communications were suddenly cut and so our trepid adventurers headed up the
the vast elevator that led to the upper levels of the mortis carcerum otherwise known as the lex
and in there they found themselves in complete darkness
and then witnessed a scene of xenos creatures in the hangar deck some some of them taking away the
the supreme head judge of the facility into some kind of portal and then as we ended our session
the lights went out placing our intrepid adventurers in darkness
how much is everyone doing
me as you are all in darkness after witnessing the
the terrifying xenos creatures they're they're lanky they're lanky bodies and then
then all the lights go off and you can hear the sounds of shutters closing
of course me being the resident shaka i tipped the cast orb but unfortunately
i uh i still can't i still can't cast anything yet i am have inhibitors on me
that prevent me from doing psychic powers apparently so
and you just you you hear you hear nothing like it's just utter silence the only thing is the slight
resonance of the clang as the shutters have come down leaving all of you in complete darkness
as a reminder we were like in a hangar or whatever or in like a over
dark eldor before yeah observatory looking into the hangar right yeah
there there was a door out but now obviously none of you can see it
you can see it gentlemen
you can see it you can see it you can see it you can see it you can see it you can see it
i hate to report we've got elf problems
come on brain i grab brain like he's nothing are you fumbling in the darkness to get him
i should be able to see him because his eyes are glowing that's that's fair that's very yes
his eyes are the only thing so i grab him i take his head and twist it till i hear a
click and then his eyes should be like super bright like giant flashlights and i started
i mean like a basic flashlight i'll give you that if you want anything brighter that's a
narrative declaration sir could i attempt could i attempt a tech check to overload my lumens
to make it right huh uh yeah sure i i mean i'll let you complicate this this sounds
great what's the worst that could happen oh seven successes
i'm glad i'm glad we're in 2021 and the spite train for me is already well it's a fresh it's
a fresh clean slate that you will immediately dirty death uh yeah so so you're able to to get
to about the same brightness as like a regular lumen so your your face projects a a cone of uh
of light in front of you allowing you to to pinpoint to the door and you're like oh my god
we're here
i'm gonna begin to proceed through the door like it's a fucking horror game
i assume it's like a slide door no it's uh this one is is kind of like a thick airlock door you
can tell that this is probably whatever their last opportunity is to seal off the lower levels
or if they wanted to have someone come up here and sort of wait it's kind of one of those like big
almost like like airlock doors you'd see on a submarine with sort of a like rotating uh
circular handle you'd need someone really strong to to start moving this uh it's really funny of
you to say that we still have our very large wizard big man yes i i'm a large wizard i would
like to attempt the uh an appropriate check in which to open thine door oh yeah that will that
would just be like a regular strength test strength it does and i got a two
you're having some difficulty
here
that way i'm sure this is a really good use for it i will proceed to re-roll with a wrath point
absolutely i'm fine yeah you you you you have a bit of uh initial problems but after
after the kind of regaining and resetting yourself you just start
turning it and you all hear this this terrifying metal screeching sound like
as as he's just moving this circular handle
and the door gives way and there's this almost like a pneumatic is like
as it opens up um and you you see like red emergency lighting on the other side and
immediately you start hearing this this is the sound this
coming from the other side of the wall of the door like like as the door is kind of cracked open
um you you hear something in the other the adjoining room
um you you hear something in the other the adjoining room um you you hear something in the other the adjoining room
So is this wide enough for us to get through or like like Lauren, you can you can easily open it now if you want to just open it.
Yeah, I'm just shoving it completely, completely open.
And I shine my pie flashlight over to the sound or the origin of the sound.
You are jacked AF, King.
As as you as you as your head is reoriented by brain and you say that your lumens come across a solitary figure.
Riddled with with wounds and seeping blood in the corner of the room.
And you can see the carapace armor of one of the the are our bites as he's clutching a shotgun in the corner of the room.
And you just hear this like sputtering.
Oh, I.
My name's Trooper Landhest.
I immediately throw a pie at him.
And you go you go like staggering.
Which words in pie? And he just like you see this trooper on the ground.
He's just like, it's my second and last day of the job.
Hmm.
Oh, yes, you are one of the idiots I beat up.
I'm a reed.
Make him bleed less.
I'm going to assume with just like a basic understanding of Medicaid that he's probably not savable.
You could give me a Medicaid test to see what you find out.
I mean, I don't have any like any of your tools with you.
So obviously, like, you would need to do a Medicaid test just to get a sense of what's going.
Yeah, I'm not really doing a whole lot to help him at this juncture.
I think he's kind of hosed, but I will do a Medicaid nonetheless.
And I will get a I got an eight.
And eight is absolutely enough to tell that, yeah, this this this poor, unfortunate trooper has has taken just a an immense amount of damage.
It looks like there's these tiny serrated.
Points in in his armor.
But as you're as you're sort of looking over some of the some of the wounds that have have appeared on him or underneath his armor, you also can see like the telltale signs of necrosis on the skin and what looks to be some kind of like shards that have been embedded in the skin that have introduced some kind of like toxic element to it.
Hmm.
Young man.
Whoa.
Yeah.
I'm going to while I'm talking with him, I'm going to reach for the shotgun that I'm assuming he's not holding terribly tightly.
No, no.
Yeah, you can.
You can, like, grab it out of his head.
It's like, yeah, yeah, I guess.
I guess.
I guess that I'm not going to make it dark.
Hmm.
Unfortunately, no young man.
Can you at least tell us the direction of the equipment lockup?
There's little I can do for you at this juncture.
I got so blah blah.
I mean, like, coughs up anymore.
Well, it's okay.
You've just got to make it through the halls.
But those things there, they're all they're all in the halls.
They're wandering the halls gunning down.
But if you can make it to the other side, that's that's where the the senior senior.
The senior arbitrator McLeod owners there.
She's got the rest of them.
I was heading there.
But then then I ran into one of them.
Well, my shotgun and he like invisibly seems to still be holding the shotgun, even though you've taken it.
Like he's he's he's acting like he's still holding it.
And it was help me get here.
And he's like coughing up some like blood that you see dribbling out of his helmet.
You've done enough.
Young man, go ahead.
Close your eyes now.
Okay, I'm going to shoot him in the head.
Jesus Christ.
His shotgun.
He tested from him.
Probably.
I thought your bedside manner was bad before.
But this is ridiculous.
If you get shot by if you get shot by Dracar weapons, the best you can be is Dr.
Kevorkian.
That's true.
That is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You just like.
So with the shotgun.
Yeah, there's just like this chunk boom.
And then this splatter of red is like trooper has his body goes limp and he just is completely done.
You can also tell that the armor that he's wearing is just completely like broken and useless and probably not even like form-fitting to all of you.
Well, this certainly elucidates some problems.
It's the bloody dark elder course.
It would be.
What do you know of these dark elder Reeb?
Well, I can tell you for certain that Reeb's going to lean down to Hest's body.
Is there like a spike that's still jutting out of him anywhere?
It's not so much spikes that are in him.
It looks like the weapons that have hit into him and where you see the wounds are like various splinters that have broken off almost like like like a high velocity.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
A high velocity crystal has hit and smashed and then broke apart inside.
Can I is there one solid enough for me to retrieve?
Yes.
However, I will require you in order to like properly retrieve one to make me a difficulty for Medicaid check.
You got it.
Yeah, I'll give you six.
No problem.
You can you can extract it with with no problems at like even put it into a sealed container if you'd like.
Yeah, I stole it away on my person just somewhere for later later inspection and use.
Yeah, these weapons are not what I would call pleasant to deal with in this situation.
It appears as though they are likely here.
Well, they're obviously looking for someone, weren't they?
Given the fact that the senior arbitrator has well vacated the building.
We were set up between these zingos attacking.
The mysterious circumstances with which our dear friend defuckably operates.
Defuckably.
No doubt we're caught in some sort of nefarious trap.
We need to think very clearly if we want to escape or get anyone off of this terrible cage place.
I would suggest we follow has last bit of information and head towards lockup.
So we may achieve our weapons.
That would be most useful.
And to be honest with you, I'm not overly fond of large belchers like this, but it will do.
Thank you.
Thank you for that.
Thank God.
And for for audio people, he put a giant explosion thing on his face in roll 20.
So it looks like he's this perpetually exploding.
Gentlemen, I suppose it goes without saying I am not very well versed with these dark elder.
I know of them in my perusings and I had.
Supposed I would never come across them, but it seems as though I'm going to check something off the list this year.
Fate makes fools of us all in time.
Indeed.
Well, I would have asked you if they plan on blowing up stations like this after they retrieve their quarry.
I am not one on the ground.
Captain, I'm not one on the psychology, but given the fact that they were exceptionally cruel to this young man who was simply doing the Emperor's will.
I would say it is perfectly within their wheel.
Well, then, by all means, let's make haste and not stick around to become yet another piece of floating space to try this.
Not unlike tuber assets head.
Reeve, can you give me a scholar check?
I would love to give you a scholar.
Yeah, I will give you.
I will give you a I'll give you a Play-Doh and I'll give you a Play-Doh.
I'll get a nine in the glory Lord nine in the glory.
All right.
Yeah.
You you know a lot about the the the drew Kari the doc elder you you would know I'd like I trust you in terms of what you know with with a nine.
You basically know like anything an average Warhammer 40,000 player would know about them.
I want to tone it down just a bit because he is just like a junior.
He's a junior Inquisitor.
Not like a but but but but in case like you you have.
I know what their weaponry and you obviously don't know like tons about their their inner workings or whatnot.
But like you can you can certainly deduce that their weapon types and what you're seeing here is.
Yeah, what a rifle very fun.
Very cool weapon.
I love the dark elder.
They are fun.
I'm lying.
They're not they are very fun.
Okay, in fact, we need to be careful.
They will likely be using all manner of trickery against us.
Keep your eye.
Keep your heads in a swivel and your eyes peeled gentlemen.
I don't think.
You need to see what happens when you get ambushed.
Yes, I'm going to stand over this young man's body and I'm just going to give him a brief skitari salute.
Goodbye.
Trooper haste.
And farewell.
Reb.
As long as I'm quite care sister.
It's what these things are.
I've never heard of a weapon that would fire crystals at people.
What type of other weapons would they have?
I don't have my I would say that you would be wanting to hold your breath.
You don't want to get behind cover.
They have all manner and array.
There are too many names right now.
My good man, but I assure you the names are all deliciously and by deliciously.
I mean depravedly unpleasant dark and annoying such as the elder naming conventions.
But what I assure you read.
There are none more annoying than us.
That's true.
Reb is going to raise an eyebrow at that.
I want I want to content with that but I yeah, let's the eyebrow goes up.
We'll say the arguments in the debates for another day.
Let's get off this station and get our stuff before we die one before the other.
Yes.
So this this room just to set the scene now that you're inside it and if like gone up to Trooper
Hess, there's basically it's a small just arterial Hall with with another door that is
partly open on the other side just through the lumens of pie brains eyes.
You can see past the door.
You see that it connects just to an utter maze of halls and like crawl spaces.
You went through that area on your way down originally though.
You had a guide who was like leading you through this labyrinth of tunnels and halls from what
Trooper has to said this sort of tunnel maze is the opposite end of it is where you would find
McLeod odor at the the surviving arbitrators.
Pie nice.
Didn't you download an entire map of this complex when you kind of set everything on fire?
Oh, yes, I did present these the prison not up here.
However, the prison was disconnected from the rest of this area.
Damn.
I know it was very inconvenient.
This is an inconvenient truth.
Indeed.
Does anybody have anything because I'm well, it's good.
I am a flying ship.
We're following land has last directions, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the tunnel gentlemen.
The tunnel.
I'm going to see where I have no fear.
I have a muscle wizard is here notice.
Yeah, I'm incredibly intimidated by Lauren and Lauren.
You go to the door and as you like like pull open the door, you start hearing something echoing down the distant
Halls bounced around by by the view the walls here and you just hear this your whole your whole soft blunder.
We go.
Oh, they're bloody Pirates.
Pirates.
The freebooters.
Okay, there's this ones.
There's orcs to you're telling me there's orcs to know not free booters freebooters.
I get a prince.
Yes, I just I want I wanted to point out.
I pirate pirates like pie like it has my name in it.
Okay, that's funny.
We should fucking matter them.
Let's see what they rate pie.
Let's go together.
Ah, okay.
Okay.
So.
It's that one.
So you enter the halls and as you as you enter the the halls here, how are you going to like go about navigating these halls without a map?
Well, could I potentially use my expertise on the forge world to perhaps guess as to the general presumptive layout of a space station like this?
Yes.
What what skill are you attempting to bullshit that explanation into?
I don't think it's too much of a bullshit to tech.
But if you want me to use scholar that might be more appropriate scholar would be would be more appropriate just just in that case other skills that you might want to do would be something like survival stealth.
All of those are really good.
Maybe they would be but I can I use a scholar?
Okay.
No, I'll use survival.
You can certainly use scholar.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I'll uh, yeah.
So long as it's not too much a stretch.
I don't really mind.
I uses his doom 3 Auto map.
I use my I use weapon scale to punch the hallways.
I'm going to spend a two glory on this.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Let's go.
Go.
That's seven successes gentlemen.
You have a general idea of the direction.
You're going the the only thing that will will be.
Difficult here is making sure you can go into areas that hopefully don't have these kind of these these curry Raiders in them.
So for that case like with that skill pie,
you're going to be able to direct the you'll be able to sort of lead the way and where to go the other the remaining three of you.
What do you all want to focus on as as you're traveling because it seems like pi brain has a good idea of the direction and where to go each of you kind of.
Have a have an opportunity here to to use some skills skills, whether it be something like the stealth to try to stay hidden or or survival to sort of like be aware of tracks of like dark Eldar that are tracks awareness like that sort of thing.
Well, the thing is with brief.
Yeah, the thing is is like we're I suppose maybe they might have left some but I do an investigation to see if there's been any weapons fire down this hallway.
Oh, absolutely.
Investigation is a great skill here as well.
Just to sort of suss out what's happening.
Here.
Yeah, I'll give you a five.
Oh, yeah, you can certainly see weapons discharge.
There's as you're even going down the initial hallways.
You're seeing that some of the the walls of the structure here have been blasted by some of those crystals that have impacted the walls immediately shattered and then fallen on the ground.
There's some like small debris though.
A lot of it's dissolved.
You can see further down that there's clearly shotgun and even in a few places would appear to be like.
Bolt rounds that have detonated in sections of the walls on crates.
It looks like there's been running fights throughout these halls and like as you are you are continuing this this investigation.
You just start hearing hearing from from far away.
No, no.
Come on.
No.
And then occasionally yo-ho yo-ho.
It's off to plunder.
We go echoing ominously down the halls.
So are any of the.
So obviously the bolt rounds have exploded against the wall.
What about the Eldar rounds?
Like are they still all using the splinter rifles or are they divvying?
Are they changing it up?
It looks to be predominantly those kind of like splinter crystal and couple of them are a bit larger.
The only thing that is strange and you can't pinpoint is that there appears to be some section of wall that looks looks almost warped.
Good.
I know what that means.
All right.
Well, so we're probably going to have to deal with anti-cover weapon.
Good.
Love that.
Fantastic.
I love I love Eldar weapons.
They all do the same basic shit.
The other shoot a weird-ass projectile or they distort time and space in some stupid asshole elf way.
Mind Freak.
My stupid.
Captain Zedek.
What are you doing as you see that, you know, Reeb is doing all this.
Investigation and pi brain is directing you down the halls.
What are you doing?
Captain Zedek seeing as those who are kind of seeing what we're dealing with and how to get to what we're dealing with.
I'm wondering if I could use maybe cunning if not awareness to see if we can make our reversal to the lock up that much stealthier by kind of timing our heavier movements or anything.
We're doing like investigating to using the ambient sounds of the slaughter going on in the background to kind of get closer.
So just like.
Letting out when we're timing timing, how we're moving.
Essentially, I would give you awareness or stealth.
Cunning as a skill is more about like meeting people in contacts.
Okay.
So yes, either awareness or stealth your choice.
Neither one is particularly good.
So let's see.
I'm going to use can you still worry on this one?
You can before.
Do one one glory.
Then one glory is used.
That's a treat awareness.
It's a little.
Yeah.
A little pudding pot.
There you go.
Little little pudding.
Oh boy.
It's a one.
Okay.
So you you completely botch this like your your allies are being very competent in what they're doing and your your kind of like Captain Morganing walking up looking around like maybe we should go and then pie brain will walk brusquely past you and point the right direction.
You're supposed to go that away.
But what if I chose to wrap it so I can not fail the first room?
I mean, you could you could you have you've currently just looked at a dark future.
I mean, certainly you could you could wrap it.
I'm going to take the L.
I feel like I think I'm going to need this later on.
I'm sure you captain said exceeds the dark future pauses.
Thinks of the alternate futures and realizes now for me.
This is pretty okay.
Let's stick with this.
It's not the worst failure.
It's just a failure.
Not a complication.
Just suck.
Oh, now that you've now that you've said that you've really done it now.
Oh, no.
Have I?
I'm glad I packed extra pants for this adventure.
All righty.
All righty.
Lauren.
What are you doing as your your companions have all taken on their what would you like to see?
I have not.
I have no skills.
Can I just intimidate the traps to show themselves?
You may certainly give me an intimidation check if you would like.
Okay, intimidate.
14.
Wow.
It's 14.
Do it for you.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Whoa.
So it's a 14 work, right?
It's all the traps show themselves.
And.
They immediately disable themselves.
Right?
Right.
Because I'm giving off so much strong intimidating energy and with the even though the inhibitors
on my neck, it is combined with like some psychic energy that combines with the intimidation
to where I'm basically looking down a hallway going.
Traps be gone.
And then something happens.
Maybe.
Right.
I mean, bear traps activate.
Yeah.
Like something to do.
You see the.
All of.
Like.
Yeah, it appears this that any kind of traps in the hall shirk and disappear from reality
in fear of your of your passing down the halls.
Your your footfalls seem to send reverberations down the tunnels as you walk though.
Though you do manage to to scare off many of these traps.
Something else comes to mind.
You're home.
You're home.
It's off to plunder.
Rico.
I don't know.
It's a sad day.
Let's get closer and closer.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, you hear them.
They're very close now.
What are you all going to do?
It has continued moving like how close is a scale of like around the corner close around
or like possibly around the corner.
We should probably get in the cover at least try to ambush them.
Do we have like a like, like, okay.
So they're coming close.
Presumably.
There's two like at least two areas where they could be coming from.
Yeah, I mean like there's there's a lot of like break off holes.
You're going down sort of a main arterial Hall and then every 10 or so feet.
They're sort of break off tiny holes that lead off or even vents.
Like I say this place is very disorienting.
It's kind of a combination of primary arterial and then just all these secondary halls and maintenance conduits that are all linked together.
I hate these E-tier E-tier Epsilon designs so disorientating.
Perhaps we should find another path.
What do you do with a drunken monkey?
What do you do with a drunken monkey monkey?
No, no.
Okay, we're going to kill them.
It was pre-established.
So if Lauren so did Lauren deactivate all the traps by screaming?
Yes.
Is there one nearby?
I know all of the all of the imaginary bear traps detonated and then disappeared good.
So we're saying there's just no traps.
He's fucking there were no traps.
I was just giving him something because he rolled a fucking 14.
He gave me a pat on the back with an illusion.
Yeah, I'm going to can I tell that it's coming from one or the other Hallway or is it just to kick off in us?
Give me an awareness test.
Okay.
Awareness awareness fire the awareness.
Fire the awareness beam get a three the awareness being you can tell it's coming from up ahead.
So can I brace myself on the opposite side of like the entrance with the shotgun ready so I can blam Bush?
Yeah, absolutely.
Okay, what do I roll for that?
Nothing you just you brace yourself and kind of like go go behind some crates that are in the hall and have your shotgun ready.
I do as Lauren does and I pump it.
Of course the other three of you see Reeb do this.
What do you do?
I follow Reeb's example, which was my example by standing in the middle of the hallway ready to the charge at whatever shows itself and I kind of grab my wrists or whatever and go and the shell comes out.
The shell comes out of your bicep.
Yes.
All right.
Pie brain.
I will be hiding an ambush in one of the arterial Hallways.
That does not seem to.
Be where the voices are coming from ready to run them through and no, no, I will and and and.
My brain and and and I'm what what wash I'm going to everyone else is doing it.
All right, I forgot.
Shh, stop screaming you fool.
I am sorry.
I am very excited to kill like water with the fucking program man.
Like we had a whole thing set up plasma gun.
I cannot as as Lauren and pie brain are having this Captain Zedek.
You're still standing there kind of in front because Lauren has turned around now to to admonish pie brain turning around the corner are three figures in this slate green armor that sort of shines in the dull.
Lumens here, especially those coming off of pie brains face and they they have this intricate spike design.
Their armor is just serrated and they carry these three utterly alien weapons that look like rifles, but you could be mistaken and their eyes just up and you see these sort of yellow slits where their eyes should be on their helmets and they turn and they're.
Your heart mateys.
We got them and they they all raised their rifles.
So it is it is a combat situation who would like to go first because one of you gets to act first.
Can I get the cover please?
Can I please have some I don't want to get melted.
Miles O'Brien.
Can I please have some cover?
Would you like to go first Captain Zedek?
Am I allowed to go first?
Guys?
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
You may go.
I will take the opportunity to get into cover either to have a hallway which is closest or if I'm just behind near some crates to duck behind the crates.
Yeah, you can you can get into one of the like arterial that even has some crates by it.
So you're kind of in in some cover.
Absolutely, but I do still want to be able to shoot out from I mean, I'll spring back up if need be.
Okay, so you're just moving into like full cover then you're getting out of line of sight.
Yes, exactly.
Okay.
Yeah, you you you dash out and go behind cover and that is your action.
Cool.
One of them sort of looks over at you Lorne and raises up its rifle weapon.
Bad choice.
And it takes a shot at you.
Bad choice again.
It brought a two.
It rolled a two, which I think does not match your defense.
Correct.
I will double check because I've not memorized the thingy and I think my defenses one.
Oh good.
Well, we did we I don't think we ever adjusted that.
So it's still one.
No, it is still one.
I mean you're a chunky boy.
All right, and it will hit you for 11 points of damage.
Oh cool.
I will then.
Do that of the resilience in because his character sheet is fucking weird at the five
where the determinations rolls are.
Good.
Good.
Learn.
Learn.
It's not learning.
I physically can't see it.
Like it's not even wait, wait.
It is there, but I can't like roll for it.
Oh, well just just roll toughness test that that's fine.
Yeah, we'll just do that.
Blah.
How many do I succeed?
Two.
It's a six seven eight.
I move.
I lose to shock because ow ow three you made her and you rolled a three.
You roll.
Did I?
Oh, sorry.
I just counted one two of them.
So you would get three shock and then take one damage.
Yeah, got it.
As this like these searing bolts smack into your flesh and you can feel like
your skin like necrotize as they they hit you.
And you also gain the poison condition gross.
What do the poison condition do tell us?
I I will I will show I will show you show two players.
You've been inflicted with poison.
You basically take a plus two difficulty on all your tests unless someone
medicates you before or you make a toughness test at the start of your turn.
The difficulty for this is three.
Now you need Medicaid.
It's true now.
I need assistance.
I almost like I'm designing encounters based on your respective strengths and
or weaknesses.
Disgusting.
All right.
It's up to you guys who would like to go.
Well, don't don't they get to shoot a guy?
No, just that was they did.
They just shot Lauren.
They just one of the three of them went.
I'm not having them all act at once.
I'm sorry.
I had a stroke.
Yeah, I guess I get your friend in peril.
Guys.
I'm right.
Up next to the door with a shotgun.
I could probably kill one.
I'll go get for it.
Let me go.
So is there one like immediately near me that I could just like push the shotgun
into and be like a boo.
I mean, yeah.
Yeah, like the one that came that stepped up and shot at Lauren is kind of advanced
now.
So is probably within just a four meters of you.
If you like pop out and then shoot I shall I shall round.
I shall lean out of the corner like a club a cover shooter and I shall blast
him with the shotgun that I don't have the stats for that.
That's fine.
That's fine.
Just make a ballistic skill test based based skill based on world of four a four
is this case.
I don't think it is enough.
Okay, may I take some glory to make that better?
I'm fine with it.
We have three.
Yeah.
Yep.
Yeah, you need a five for these guys.
They are.
They're incredibly agile.
So I will take two glory to grow it.
That gets me to there you go.
You're up to six.
So that will hit blam the the weapon that you are currently using a shotgun combat shotgun.
I should say is nine.
So roll 1d6 for the extra damage dice.
1d6.
For extra damage.
Yeah, five five.
So you'll do 10 damage to him right up close that smashes into this the xenos and and him down point blank shot.
Yeah.
Yeah, just just smokes him in the chest.
He goes flying back.
You could see the sort of pattern of the shell.
Discharge and he just collapses on the ground as the other some judge dread shit where you hear like a Wilhelm scream like just hits the wall.
But in fact, the one the one dark elder flies between his two buddies from the discharge and smashes against the wall and you even hear the like cracking of his elongated terrible filthy alien neck as he slumps on the floor and dies.
I pump the shotgun and discharge a shell.
Do it.
And then I and then I turn around the corner.
Yeah, so you'll get you'll get cover.
But what's going to happen now is that I'm going to go and I'm going to have one of those two like rush up at the corner turn and shoot you.
You'll still be able to get some cover from from what you have there.
So your defense will go up by two.
But one of these these foul xenos turns the corner and raises its rifle.
Towards you and takes a shot on you.
Just a singular shot.
Yeah, my defense in cover.
My defense is three.
You're so maybe yeah, it'll still hit because yeah, I rolled a four.
So it's like you've got this cover here.
You're sort of using it.
But then this creature turns the corner raises angles.
It's gun and takes a shot.
These these bullets.
Come flying out towards you.
They strike you in the side for a total of ten points of damage.
So resilience is eight.
You can use determination on the remaining two to see if you can just soak that if you everyone's telling you should be for defense.
But I assume even if it didn't meet his defense, it would still go through.
Right?
Or it's if it's still if it meets it still.
It's yeah.
So it doesn't matter.
Depending on the cover is I don't think it's plus one.
Is it plus two or plus one either way?
It should be.
Plus two.
But either way, it's still hit.
Yeah.
It's still it was it was plus two.
That would be fine.
Is it be five?
Wait, what's your base defense?
Is the sheet wrong?
So my base defense is three.
Oh, okay.
So this is yeah.
I didn't fix that at that point.
I thought I had it updated.
Oh, well, okay.
Then it hits the cover smacks into the into the crate and sort of like flies off.
So that that will be a miss.
Who would like to go next?
I pump the shotgun.
I'll let fiber and go.
Why?
I am going to sprinting out of cover.
I'm presumably nearby Reeb.
I'm going to run out.
I'm going to reach out grab with this Drukari by the face.
Okay, one hand keep running and then go to the other one and then try to grab them by the face.
Turn around and smash them against the wall.
I want to make a multi-action grapple check on both of these individuals.
Oh, okay.
Okay, so that's cool.
Sounds like a lot of strength checks.
It's just a basically a grapple with like plus two difficulty number.
We get it.
You're wrestling.
I'm wrestling.
I will actually I wanted to wrestle but I don't do good unarmed damage.
I would have done a lariat.
Okay.
So so first of all, you you can only do like the grapple multi-targets if you start beside them.
I'll let you do the run cool thing, but you have to spend a wrath point to narratively declare that.
Oh would I in that case?
Regular. Yeah.
In that case.
I'll just fucking smoke this guy.
Uh, yeah, yeah, man.
No, I can't smoke.
He does not have lungs.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I'll let you grapple and move one but it's just like I'm not going to let you grapple move grapple another one because that's like clearly outside regular.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, that's fair enough.
Um, I was hoping to grab them both.
We wouldn't get shot at so like I was hoping to remove that threat if I can't do that, then I'll probably just try my luck trying to get this guy.
Uh, since I'm pretty confident that Lauren can smoke that other Dark Eldar.
Um, so yeah, I'm going to hit this guy with my great sword and charge at him.
Cool.
Do it up.
You know what it is, fam.
I do.
I've rolled it with a grand total of four successes despite my-
You miss.
I miss.
Yes.
You miss.
I miss.
That's not true because I'm using a wrath to reroll.
Yeah.
And I get six.
I would have laughed if they all failed.
Oh, I know.
I just thought.
For so many reasons, I would have laughed.
Um, all right.
Yeah.
You, uh, you, you strike the Xenos.
Uh, am I shifting anything?
Uh, okay.
No.
Cool.
Cool call.
Um, in that case, I'm going to use our two glory to ship some damage.
Yeah, we just got two right now.
So that two is now for you.
So we have two left.
Oh, lovely.
In that case.
Yeah.
Just do two damage on top of it then automatically.
And then I'll just roll damage now.
So it is going to be for a grand total of-
11.
13 damage.
Well, 11, because it calculates that in the thing, right?
Yep.
Oh, but I know, but I, but I was spending two glory to get two automatically.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Yeah.
I got you, fam.
Okay.
And then I will roll determination.
For that one person, I did forget it.
I will get you.
Don't.
Uh, yeah.
You, you, you clobberlang this one into death with your, your great weapon, which you come,
there is this shattering sound of this strange alien armor as you smash into the conical
head and debris goes flying out and kind of like falls onto the floor beside you.
I'm going to point my sword at the next one and I'm going to say, if you are smart,
you'd shoot me next.
And then he will.
He obliges you.
What a nice guy.
You know, people always say these dark elder are such bad people.
You know, they're, they seem pretty agreeable.
They conveniently shoot your buddies.
Yeah.
Very nice of them.
And, uh, yeah.
So, so that's, that's a thing.
It raises up its weapon.
Uh, it's like really, really close to you.
And Thurston, and Thurston, as happy as you were to see it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
okay well
it will hit
it hits me
what's your defense
it's really high but it's not that high
i've got uh it should be
uh defense five
yeah five is it
you know it either be five in melee or
five because cover
why do you you don't
have oh if i don't have cover
oh yeah there's no cover
yeah yeah so
your defense four yeah defense four
so i'll shift two on this i will
get to the complication after uh
so i will shift two
and
then i will also take advantage
of the fact that it is
rapid fire and
you are in short range so
that will also
add to the the extra damage
here uh so in this
case
yeah
uh he's going
to get a grand total of four
bonus damage dice on this damage
roll as uh he just
sprays into you you hear
the discharge of crystal as
this eldari looks at you and in
response to your statement of you should show
it to me next it's kind of like vigorously
nods and fires
uh
for 17 points
hot
damn
with three
three uh sixes
on that so yeah that's
rather rude
what was his uh what was
his complication again uh
the complication now that he's finished
is that his weapon goes out of ammo
because he has unloaded everything
into pipe and
there's just this like spray of
click click click as
the crystals stop firing hey the
ambulance is here
i'm looking like some
kind of porcupine all right
uh so what's your resilience
not
mine okay so you'll take eight
points of damage but you can still
determination to reduce more i i will
certainly between yeah absolutely
yeah let's uh
let's let's uh let's go
let's go
let's see what happens
uh three successes so you'll
take five wounds all right
uh five wounds and
and you are also poisoned
lovely
i was so worried that i wouldn't wind up
poisoned i'm glad that uh
glad that i am now poison that's hey
it's it's what happens um this brings us
to lorne who
at the beginning of your turn lorne
you'll need to give me a toughness test
i surely can do that
toughness powers go
i got a two uh you are still poisoned
uh so we'll take minus two on all of
your
and i would like i would like to use
some of the glory
that chat has given us
i would like to use four
take it leave us with two
okay so i will
i have to roll the 46 and bloop
and i got one two three
okay you're no longer poisoned all right
you spit out the poison
i'm going
the crystals the point are crystals you
sounded like nuclear thrown there for a
second
right
and i just got you know just wipe my
mouth going
then wipe my mouth and immediately just
like
getting like a running stance and all
you hear and you just hear in the
background like like just some
emanations because the caller is still
you know not allowing me to do any
second power you just see
the power shaping out and showing you
just hear train noises
in the background
and then after you hear a roar i just
boom full-on sprint and i'm like
superhero like using all the
momentum to punch the last aldar as hard
as possible with prison fists and it's a
critical
yes and it's two two
bam and i smack him with a six
2d6 is uh for the crit effect let's see
i sure can just bam i got a 23
23 is brutal rupture mangled flesh crushed bone and brought it to the
ground and
ruptured organs makes your foe gasp in
wretched pain
uh they take 1d3 mortal wounds and you
can spend an additional glory
uh to add mortal wounds onto that
takes three
okay um would you want to roll the the
damage as well
all right there is damage i thought he
would just yeah there's regular
uh he takes um yeah just oh god i'm gonna
go
i'm gonna go
i'm gonna go
oh god yeah i can't even determination
so um describe as chat puts it how you
garlic jr this last dark elder
basically it is full-on train and i
punch him so hard it's kind of like a
superhero moment where i just
like it's like directly downward while
making a fucking crater in the metal
just cruise and it's just i'm just like
and you just see the other fist come
straight down i'm like the incredible
hulk at this point going elf smash and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna go to hell
i'm gonna go to hell i'm gonna go to hell
i'm gonna go to hell i'm gonna go to hell
and i'm just destroying this elder if you ever see like even even rafting
our own garbage that we do you've ever
saw tts how lyman rust beat up and
exploded on the dark elder it's literally
that it's literally just just
and it's just in his body it's falling
apart at the impacts
and i said there's no elder left right
uh this is the last one yes i do just
imagine though
like the way that this poor poor dark
elder dies
is like he has turned to pie all of a
unloaded everything into
Pybrain like there's the sudden
click and he's going to reach to reload
and this shadow rushes towards
him and he turns and looks up
as Lorne is charging down the
hall past Pybrain and just
from their like voice
from this like voice
grill on his face is
yo, yo no
and then
yo no, yo no
after death I go
you quite purged the alien
and the dark
LR is no more
are there
any left alive or are they all toast?
they're all toast, the first one took
a shotgun shell to the chest
the other one was completely
brained by
a metal weapon and then the other
one was
humbled
okay, we'll just have to keep an eye out for everyone
we are out of combat now
good teamwork Lorne, also
wow, these hats
hey, but I'm gonna do
do I need tools for this, don't I?
you would want your
medicaid kit, yes
congrats Lorne and Pi, you guys gotta
wait, because I don't have tools to
fix you. Can I try to toughness
test my way out of Poision?
I assume it just
goes away at this point. Wait, how is he
poisoned? He got hit
by the necrotic deprivator
no, but he's metal
he's all metal. He's not, he's organic
underneath most of that. He's got
some organics
I'm largely
I'm largely mechanic, I mean, since
since splinter rifles can work on
mechanicus personnel, we can assume
that the splinter rifles inherit acidity
causes similar effects with
mechanical bullshit
nerd
yeah, that's fine
I appreciate that we are taking
Warhammer 40k rules
and porting them over
to the roleplay game
it just works
it just works
it's simple as
but yeah, like, you're out of combat
all this particular
poison seems to do is just
inhibit your abilities momentarily
so after a quick breather
you're able to force this out
there's just a dull silence
the only sound that remains is
this, like, cooling
searing of metal from where
Lorne's fists have indented on
the deck plating
I'm going to pick up one of these weapons
hmm
yeah, it is incredibly light in your hands
ooooh
very interesting
Reeb, would you like one to look at
in the room you live in?
I very rapidly pull it from his hands
and then stuff it in my nonexistent
it's best that you're not using
I don't like to see black hole inventory
it is best that you're not using such weapons, Pops
it is best that you're not using such weapons, Pops
it is best that you're not using such weapons, Pops
they are very dangerous
you don't know what kind of
they are very dangerous
you don't know what kind of
defensive measures they have in place
hmm
that is a good point
hmm
hmm, that is a good point
but i feel that there's no better way
but i feel that there's no better way
to assert the dominance of
mankind's technology
over the xenos
than to, uh, you know
and i pick up the one that
shot me the fuck by the nozzle
that shot me the fuck by the nozzle
to club a motherfucker to death with it
to club a motherfucker to death with it
to club a motherfucker to death with it
oh if a gun to your death is a bludgeon
then by all means
it's practi-
look at, look at
look at how sharp
kind of strange horn yes yes yes as a bludgeon i pick up the other one as well and put it into
hammer space okay so sir are you like just wielding one of these as a bludgeon now i'm uh yeah the one
that shot the fuck out of me yeah the necrotic deprivator yeah what would i would i just use it
as a club or would i use it as i'll let you use it as the same i'm just i'm just i'm just double
checking no problem yeah i have one as a club and i have another one on me okay okay i'm taking one
give me a conviction test pie oh sure i would love to
for successes okay cool cool cool cool um you you take no corruption for for using xenos uh
weaponry
you
using
i don't know honestly if it's better or worse for him to use it as a club like i don't know if that
like makes the corruption test worse or better question but anyway i'm like no no this this is
this is one of those rare cases where it's not chaos shenanigans that make you take a corruption
test i'm just keeping mine in my backpack so i can like keep it somewhere later
because it's yeah yeah like like okay so so flat out like if we if we are going down the path of the radical per se um it's it's more like this is something we can explore later but like if my brain is actively going around like murdering things with the blood of this strange alien rifle you know i'm i'm gonna say that that has some some inkling or reflection of his psyche so that's why the test you don't have to worry fine good
um
so they which direction do you want me to go to
did they come down this hallway from? They were like the direction you were heading,
so it seemed like it was just like a scouting group that you quote unquote got the jump on.
Is there anything on the walls that indicates directions?
There are some like notations here and there. So there's no like a giant line that points in one
direction or a line pointing the other direction saying like holding area or you know equipment
lock up. No, no, no. It looks like they're very bereft of markers, but Pi Brain seems to have a
really solid understanding of the direction you're going from earlier. All right, come along Pi,
we must find our equipment before we get too bogged down in using this.
Yeah, Pi, you start leading the way forward. You start noticing though that
there are bodies in the hall. You start seeing some arbitrators and what appear to be like menial
staff and servitors that have been loaded up with the same sort of crystalline weapons.
One of them, like one of the servitors has this strange effect on them. As
you're walking it looks as though there's like strips of their flesh that have been
ripped off and the the skin around it is warped uh some of them look as though their entire bodies
have been warped like one arbitrator you see is partly fused into a wall um and for for a faint
moment as you turn the corner and see this horrific display it almost looks as though
the arbitrator's limbs which stick out of the wall twitch but that just seems to be a trick of the
light uh i'm going to walk up and i'm going to poke him yeah yeah yeah
um you response doesn't seem to be it looks like upon closer inspection it looks like this is a
a body that was somehow shot back through the materium and phased back into the materium in the
wall
hmm
um
these are dangerous weapons
well yes i did warn you they were extremely dangerous
yes do you know much about the weapons of the elder
yes sadly as you can no doubt feel coursing through your system
they have a lingering effect because the dark elder of the opinion mo doubt that simply
murdering someone is simply far too simple or mundane they have to make it exceedingly
painful for no bloody god damn reason
yes i can feel that every step is a new nightmare
when i get my equipment back we'll take care of it
i thank you in the interim we must be cautious i don't
as the the voice comes to life from the body in the wall and you see the head and the limbs
start to move briefly
hey hello um
i'm a traitor i used to live
can all of you please give me a resolve test
sure
to do to do with finding my resolve my resolve is this i'm gonna be pumping oh there's a complication
here we go well i got a five and a glory okay not surprising okay uh where i'm gonna be pumping
a two glory into this
oh my god
i like that you let everyone else roll like and you're like i just use some of this glory
uh okay so all of you accept reeb pass rebe you're like you're doing this explanation
and then this this this man comes to life and starts like screeching and screaming and
it just shocks you and you kind of like have heavy breathing and i are totally startled
by this uh
oof five nights and freddys
not again
Not again.
Not five times the price, no.
And Captain Zedek, you, like, manage to get a hold of yourself and just breathe.
But you feel like, okay.
I don't like this.
You feel completely just, like, out of place as you see this arbitrator.
And there's this heavy breathing.
And then there's this, hello?
Hello?
And you hear this woman's voice speaking from underneath the grill of the arbitrator who's, like, fused into the wall.
Yes, hello.
My bloody heart.
Ah!
I'm looking at Reeb, like, uh, is this fixable?
And I'm looking back at her.
Reeb's gonna limp over because he probably did just have, like, a bit of a start there.
Reeb swallows a moment and tries to compose himself.
Ma'am?
Ma'am?
What are you doing in the wall?
Yeah.
Good question.
It seems like whatever air was left in her is now gone and her head just slumps down.
Uh, can I, can I move quickly to try and extricate her from the wall?
How would you try to extricate her from the wall?
Uh, I will pull, uh, Lorne over.
Okay.
Lorne, we have limited time.
Can you please pry that wall open?
Okay.
I assume I can't.
I just have to try to, like, just.
Damn, like, like, uh, like, like, just, just try to, like, I don't know, pull her out of the metal, I guess?
No, no, don't pull her.
Like, you need to, remember, metal's stronger than she is, probably.
Yeah.
And?
You'll, you'll, you'll come out with half an arbitrator.
Oh.
Well, explain, explain to Muscle Wizard what you want me exactly to do to extract this person.
Lorne, if you could reach your fingers into the metal and pry it open.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
So we may extricate our person?
Oh, yes, yes, sorry, sorry, I was losing context.
I was, uh, I was reading my comic books.
So I literally, I, I, I do this.
Uh, I assume you want me to do a strength check?
Absolutely.
Or, uh, I would say, or instead, I'd kind of do an athletics check.
Well, could we have.
Oh, athletics, too.
Could I also get Pi's metal sword thingamajig to help try and, like, make an etching or something?
I got a seven on my athletics.
Uh.
Um, yeah, I mean, like, you could, you could, like, any of you could, could help with this check.
Zedek will help out as well.
You think my strength's good enough?
You could just, you, you just add your successes on top.
So, for this type of check.
Nice, I get two.
So, nine.
Three.
Pi and Zedek.
Another two.
We all put our fingers into the wall.
As you, as you, like, like, like, as Lorne makes these sort of, like, hole in the wall and starts prying it, um, like, Pi Brain comes forward.
And Lorne is, you know, helping out, uh, Reeb.
Even you manage to, like, use your, your intellect to find the best place to pull out.
Uh, Captain Zedek, you triumphantly walk towards this.
Uh, you feel like a very, very stark draft along your backside as you do this.
Again with the fucking pants.
Yo ass.
Well, we have a sad look at the Q&A.
You assumed, you assumed that during the spook of the screaming lady.
In the wall.
You maybe moved in such a way to produce a tear.
Of course.
Why, why, why would I not?
Of course.
Do I have to make a narrative declaration to say he is not triumphantly walking towards that wall?
He is mortified.
I assume it starts as triumph and quickly turns to, to, to, to mortified as you get there and slouch.
Oh no.
There's nothing triumphant about this.
This is a nightmare.
He is clearly out of his depth.
But with all, all of, all four of you, well, three and a half, because Zedek is somewhat preoccupied.
You, you manage to, to peel this like metal plate.
And luckily it looks like the plate was all that there was.
So when you pulled the sort of like plate that's covering her chest cavity, this, this arbitrator like collapses out into a heap.
And you just hear this.
As, as she suckles in air.
Well, that's a first.
So like how abjectly fucked up is she?
Like, cause we, her test was like kind of fucked.
This person was shot through time and space.
Is this person salvageable?
I mean, she's on the ground.
Like she doesn't look like she has any other like wounds on her.
It looks like she maybe.
They tried to telefrag her.
Yeah, exactly.
Ah.
Ah, oh, okay.
Cause I, I thought she was like this giant fleshy mass or something.
Oh no, no, no.
It was legit.
Just like her, her arms and part of her head were coming out of the wall and like part of her legs.
Cause she had been hurled back into the wall.
Ah.
Based on the fact that this person has been wearing the helmet, this is not McLeod Odor?
It does not appear to be McLeod Odor.
Well, we get it.
We get an ally anyway.
And this remarkably, for some reason, the dark elder weapons.
And just like, yeah, you have to put someone in a wall, just no clip them in there.
Sure.
Why not?
And she's like, she's like breathing heavily now.
Yeah, it's just not so much fun is it to jump scare someone.
Why are you blaming her?
She got sucked into a wall.
Tell that to my heart.
Zedek will lean down to Reeb's chest and say, stop judging her.
She didn't ask for this.
Zedek makes my earwhip be worse.
I do not have the patience to sit around and wait for pirates to attack.
I pick her up and I'm running.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Hold on a moment.
Nah.
Yeah.
Like Pye's head rotates 180 while he's running, holding this Arbite and you just hear, no, is there anywhere?
No, I have an idea.
Is there anywhere we can hide?
And there's tons of like side corridors here.
Absolutely.
Gentlemen, I want to try it.
Sounds like a trap.
I want to, I'm going to set up a trap because we have a newly opened wall that we could maybe put something in.
Okay.
Okay.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I just had this mental image of you seating Swole Lorne into that wall cavity and putting the metal over his chest and him being like, help, I'm trapped in the wall.
Maybe not that.
I was thinking maybe, you know, we pull something over and put it in the wall.
No.
And we.
We get a little interrogation going.
After seeing everyone has not followed me, I'm going to return.
Gentlemen, it seems highly advisable to attempt to pick fights.
We don't have medical personnel.
We do not have wartime equipment.
And if any of us gets grievously injured, Reeb is incapable of healing us.
We are dealing with enemies that have highly specific, deadly Xeno technology.
I believe our best case scenario is to move.
We don't have many opportunities to actively ambush these people.
Yes, we will when we have our things back.
Okay, fine.
I'll make I'll make note of this area with the hole in the wall so we can come back to it.
Absolutely.
And then, Pai, I assume you're just like rushing the rest of the way.
Yeah, yeah.
I've had field experience.
I haven't necessarily fought the Dark Eldar before, but I've been I've been I've been the leader of many a squad.
And I have never been quite hurt like this before.
You've never been hurt before in your life and are terrified?
No, it's not.
I passed my resolve check, sir.
I'm not terrified at all.
Yeah.
I don't believe it.
I was going to move on.
I mean, if I could get this fucked up, then who knows what would happen to everybody else?
It's fair.
I'm not a melee character.
We're moving on.
Pai is lawful.
We have more bondage buddies to kill.
Let's go.
Yeah, you carry on down the hall for a bit until, Pai, you reach the door that you
know would connect to the area.
However, the door is sealed and it looks like there's been a small pile of debris, like crates and stuff that have been intentionally set up to make it look like it's not even a door at all.
It's, in fact, hidden.
Hmm.
I see.
Very clever.
Are the yohos getting closer?
They you've you've managed to stay a bit ahead of the yohos, so they they're they're still about the same distance.
They've just been like they're not.
They're actively chasing, it seems, but they're getting closer.
I am going to take out my Omni tool or a combi tool.
Sorry, Jesus. Omni tool is Mass Effect.
And I am going to attempt to presumably have been like fused shut.
No, it looks like it looks like they've they've had like a regular sealed door and they've just stacked stuff in front of it.
I'm going to attempt to unseal the door.
OK.
What skill check would you like?
Tech with my Omni tool.
Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
I will. I will allow this.
Yes, I'll allow it.
Just a moment, gentlemen.
And I'm going to spend our last glory on this, since this seems rather important.
Yeah, I'm fine with this.
Bloop.
Bloop.
Good.
I'm glad we're getting it back.
We'll get it right back.
Nice.
Yeah, there's you.
You managed to connect.
It looks like it is this particular door is connected to the station's overall security network, which you don't have a large amount of access to.
Which you don't have a large amount of access to.
Which you don't have a large amount of access to.
From a door.
But you are able to to get in, send your data gins.
You cast the data gin spell knock on the door and the door kind of grumbles.
And like on the other side, you immediately hear all these.
And then.
No, glory.
We are we are Imperial.
Set us in.
We have hostages.
Wounded.
You're on a whole different.
I'm I'm most used to being deployed.
Against rebels and heritages.
I am not used to allies ever.
Friends do not compute.
Now, do not worry.
I will kill your families.
We are here to help.
We're just going to get in quickly.
You hear McLaughlin's voice.
Get it quickly.
Inside.
Now, now you all start, like, moving in swole.
Lauren, you have some problems getting through the, like, tiny gap between these crates in the door.
It's like really.
Thanks for calling, Lauren.
Large.
It helps with the self-consciousness.
You're welcome.
I easily get through the door.
Thank you very much.
Sure.
And then you find yourselves in a in a room that has probably a dozen, maybe a dozen and a half arbitrators in various states.
There's about four of them that are on the ground sort of writhing or clearly wounded from shrapnel.
Or other weapons discharge.
There's four near the front that have, like, three of them have shotguns.
One of them has a bolter raised.
And then you see the head arbitrator McLaughlin who, like, waves you quickly into this small chamber that at the far end you see a small unit of cogitators.
And it looks like this is some kind of secondary command post.
Reem's going to be really, really brusque.
Medical supplies!
Where are they?
Now!
She sort of, like, nods really quickly and points to a corner where there's some clear, like, munitorum-style crates.
Your equipment's all in there.
I kick the crate into exploding and I get my medicine.
Oh, my God.
Your medicine explodes out.
Like, it's an Overwatch loot box.
It all flies out and lands.
Half-Life 1 wooden crate filled with a medical mug.
Yeah.
Very good.
Very good.
Yeah.
It just lands.
Okay.
I'm going to, while you guys figure out what the hell you need to get for equipment, I'm going to Medicaid the clearly dying arbitrators.
So you can give me a Medicaid check to represent what you're doing as this is going on.
Nice.
I can't wait to complicate it and accidentally euthanize them.
Oh, God.
Accidentally.
Radical.
Radical.
Radical.
With a complication.
Radical.
With a complication.
I told ya...
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's—
I told ya.
Uh, let's see here.
Oooh.
Ooh.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
I'll go with that one.
Okay, so, there's no obvious complication immediately.
Terrific.
However, you are able, with a 9 on your Medicaid check, to very quickly stabilize many of these people.
In fact, all four of them are people it looks like you can save.
It looks like their wounds aren't too heinous.
Or you're able to use some of your Medicaid tools to extract any of these Xenos poison that's in them.
You're taking a bit of time to quickly assess and go over the people, though, as this is happening.
Yeah, you guys are all the talk at this moment.
I am busy. Good luck.
Yeah, yeah, and then, like, the three of you are with McLaudoter, who sort of, like, shuffles anxiously as you see these crates unload with, like, your equipment.
Oh, I remember you.
Yes, it's a pleasure.
And she, like, reaches into her robes and pulls out a small wand, the end of which seems to have, like, a spherical head of brass.
This is the disabling device for urinating.
If you just give me a moment, I can deactivate that.
And she, like, trepidatiously reaches the wand up, like, kind of trying to find a space under or through your beard with which to tap your neck.
I snag the wand, going, I'll do it.
I'm like, I still trust any of you, considering you're the folks who got me in here.
And I, like, poke around it.
Like, when does it work?
Fuck.
Shit.
It's just, like, confidence.
I'm figuring it out.
Like, shit, how the fuck do I do this?
Okay, you do it.
That's my hand in back.
And then, yeah, she takes it back.
She kind of looks, thrusts once deep into your beard cavity.
There is, like, a ding.
And then the brass neck piece you have tumbles down and hits the floor clap.
And you lose your muscles immediately.
No, no, no.
I'm still swollen.
You remain swole.
Deflates like a Macy's parade.
I'm like.
Oh, thank, thank the emperor.
You're, you're here now.
So much has happened.
They, they took the supreme, the supreme judge.
I don't really think that's a problem.
After, after everything, right before the prison break, he, he barricaded himself in his office.
And then we found, when we were talking with you on the Vox, a Xenos ship appeared suddenly.
We don't know where it came from.
They took out our weapons and, and, and damaged the comms.
The, the Vox units out of station are down.
They, they sent borders on.
We managed to fight them off somewhat, but we, we had to retreat here after they sent more numbers in.
About how many do you believe there are?
I, I, I don't know how many are left now.
I think many of them have, have, have retreated.
But there's probably a dozen.
A dozen, at least, perhaps two dozen left on, on, on the ship, on the station.
What does their objective seem to be?
I know they are killing.
Are they, are they trying to destroy the station?
Take everyone aboard hostage?
What is their plan?
They, they, they had, they, and like, you see that she's, she's kind of like pausing.
And her, her head is tilting to the side at you, Pi.
Uh, uh, is, and she's just sort of looking at you, uh, are you, is, are you holding on to, to Trooper Muneer?
I'm sorry.
The, the arbitrator you're still holding on to, Pi?
Well, no, didn't we give her over to, uh, Reeb to, uh, do certain things?
Yeah.
She, no, she was fine.
Yeah, she was fine.
Yeah, you, you, he went over to the four people who were like, who were critical condition in this room.
You burst in.
He's still holding the arbitrator.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Uh, yeah.
We found her in the wall.
Um, listen, I asked you a very important question and you're being incredibly evasive.
Well, no, no, no.
It's, um, thank the God Emperor.
You, you found one of our troopers out there.
Uh, no, they, they seem to, to attack directly and made way for the, the Supreme Judge.
They took him and absconded with him.
Several of their, their smaller craft.
Uh, overwhelmed the hangar.
They, they seem to be taking, taking arbitrators and any of the prisoners we had up here for interrogation.
They, they were collecting them, bringing them onto their smaller ships.
And you say they are mostly gone?
Uh, there aren't many left.
It seems that they, they might come back though in their small ships.
It looks like they were loading up their smaller ships to, to take those, uh, those poor, poor damned souls back to, to their command vessel.
Yes.
It might be advisable for us to evacuate the station, though.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, we can investigate their attack patterns more quickly.
One of our companions is an inquisitorial sage.
Yes.
Uh, why not?
We should probably ask Captain Zedek, as I told him, going, if they have a cruiser, that means our ship may be potentially threatened.
Or we can contact them for support.
And to blow up.
Anything.
Or start an engagement with their ship.
That is true.
Uh, can we, I love how much faith you all have in the debt collector, right?
Look, it's something, man.
I'd rather have a giant cannon than their handguns right now.
It's the biggest gun we have.
And that's not saying much.
It's fair.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Captain Zedek, would you like to contact the debt collector in some way, shape, or form?
You forgot you brought the radio this time, right?
That doesn't work that way.
We need long-range communication.
So you brought the radio this time, right?
Oh, yes, Lord.
Let me just check on my person for the man-sized vox caster that I always keep on me.
It's not man-sized, it's backpack-sized.
So you brought it, right?
I turn, I turn to McLaught Otter.
So, do you have any form of, do you have a long-range vox in this room?
Is there anything we can use?
I looked at Pye, he forgot it.
Classic Zedek.
She, she looks at you and then looks at the cogitator unit.
We, we have a system-wide vox over there, but it's, it's been sporadic at best.
Then that's probably our best shot.
And furthermore, is this, is this everybody you could find?
Do we assume this is all who's left in terms of the Arbitace on the station?
As far as I'm aware, yes.
The jamming device they have, it seems to be set up in the hangar.
Hmm.
We're going to have to make our way down there at some point anyway.
That, we have to get back to the ship.
That's true.
Though, we still have the Lemurian tech adept we must rescue in the lower depths.
At this moment, I realize, oh shit, we do have to get Rohekta out of here.
I like, I like the moment of like, well, me fucking first.
Just.
I'm assuming at this point I've finished up with the medicine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
And you can kind of like, slink, slink back over.
When we take our chances with the Vox unit that we have, we can get in contact with the debt collector.
Maybe we can at least see how bad it is out there.
Maybe we can actually get a- Wait.
Yes, hi.
They might be waiting for us to do that.
Think about it.
The only reason this group has been able to survive the onslaught is because they have remained unseen.
If we start sending Vox communique, they might be intercepted.
And we might see more of these dreadful warriors come in and smoke the lot out.
Then we make an escape plan.
They're going to find us in one way or another.
I suggest we use what information we can gain from this station.
Find an escape route to possibly find a aircraft that should hopefully still be intact and operational.
To fly out of here towards the debt collector, who should be on its way to intercept us.
And fend off these invaders.
Right?
Looking around at these Arbides, are they in any position to mount a defense or an offense?
I mean, it's like a squad of, we'll say, even eight guardsmen in carapace armor with some shotguns and their special weapon is a bolter.
Not team on offense.
Yes.
These people might not be able to
survive contact with a
squadron, let alone all that's left.
When did we start?
Never mind.
Don't finish that thought.
Yeah.
Reeb has
entered back into proximity.
Bloody mess.
Is there any sort of defensive
measures that we can deploy
against them?
Well, this is a prison complex.
We should be able to start locking down
certain avenues, right?
Slow them down?
Not even that. Certainly, as a prison,
wouldn't you have
cogitator, servitor guns that would
deploy? Or is this one of those
budget-cut prisons I've heard so much
about?
All of those are in the lower levels.
We have all the combat suppression
servitors and any sort
of automated turret.
What's in such in the lower levels
where you were located?
Would it be possible to contact the lower
levels?
Yes, we used the station over there to contact you.
I mean,
you know what I bloody mean.
Are they making any
attempts to go to the lower levels?
No, they seem
fixated up here.
If they won't go to the lower levels...
Aside from you, we sealed the elevators
to make sure no one else could come up here.
I'm saying...
There's a veritable army down there.
Yes, you're seeing my point.
My point was, yes.
If they are not willing to go down
to them, we can bring them up here.
Zedek turns to Reeb.
I think I like what you're
saying. May I?
By all means.
Zedek will walk over to the
cogitator unit.
There's this moment where McLaudoter's going to
reach out her hand, but then she
looks back to Reeb
and just her eyes go wide and she looks
down and is like, okay.
Desperate times.
This is our station now.
Cracks knuckles.
I believe that this will be the
Judge Dredd speech, yes.
Listen, they want to let out their pent-up
aggression on something? Why not let it out against
some fucking elves?
I will turn on the Vox Unit and prepare to
cast to the lower levels of the prison.
Yeah, like the
cinematic for this, of course, is you
press the button and there's the
like,
adjusting audio like, as we cut to a
whole bunch of stills of like the lower
prison where there's beds on fire, combat
servitors, the dead corpse of like Tagador
while the ashes of him that were in the
fire. You see like Chonkis is clearly in
some melee with like six other prisoners.
We cut to the chapel where Ro Hecta and
the preacher look up and it's sort of
this montage of everyone in the
lower levels before it comes back to
Zedek taking up the Vox Horn.
Attention all lower level prisoners,
miscreants, murderers and unsavory
citizens of the Imperium.
Whether you be like it or not, this
system has, well, rather, this station has
been invaded by an even worse sort of
criminal. Xenos, foul, evil and
indescribably horny.
Now,
based on what we are seeing up here, they
are not keen on taking survivors for
anything less than torture puppets or
flesh sculptures.
So I offer you this one very, very seldom
earned chance to redeem yourselves in the
eyes of the Emperor.
Find whatever way you can find to make
your way to the upper levels of this
station and let hell loose upon these
vile Xenos. Kill, indulge whatever
tendencies earned you a spot.
In this prison for the only arbitrators
are sharing concerned looks, we can't
promise you freedom, but I can promise
you a damn good time up here.
There's a party and you're all invited.
Real quick, Reeves behind him at this
point, and I'm going to tap Zedek on the
shoulder.
Yeah, Reeb. Yeah, yeah.
May I?
Sure.
I grabbed the microphone.
I'm offering inquisitorial pardons for the
person who kills the most, Dark Eldar.
Thank you.
That's what I see.
You're my favorite customer.
This little blinking light that seems to be
like, like a return signal.
We'll answer the call.
Yeah, when you answer it, it's just like you
just hear like this, like, muffle like
background noise. It's like it's coming back
through the Vox speakers in the lower levels
and you just hear, Zedekit, Zedekit, Zedekit.
Zedekit, Zedekit, Zedekit.
You know, if, if Pi is diehard, then Zedek and
Reeb are escaped from New York.
Yeah.
And with the mounting prison riot slash plan to
retake the hangar, I think we're going to take
our break for now.
Alrighty, everybody.
Thanks for watching.
We'll be right back.
We're going to stretch our legs, get some drinks
of water, all that fun stuff.
Please.
Stretch your legs.
Please stay healthy.
We will be right back.
Well, Speaker, I heard Nosferatu was your
favorite, was your favorite vampire waifu in
Masquerade, right?
Yeah, I heard you had, like, contracted a
debilitating disease that, like, put pus in your
brain.
And I see that's also true.
They just.
Yeah, man, it's still your favorite.
So it says, I know that it was your favorite line
to go through in the Masquerade visual novel,
and you really enjoy the outfits.
That they wore.
Oh, my God.
Wait, I don't actually you're actually making me
think because there's a wonderful vampire, the
Masquerade visual novel called Night Road, and I
don't know if they have Nosferatu, and I play it
as a Tremere because they didn't have my actual
favorite clan, the Zemecian, yet, and I hear he's
working on it.
How to get in.
So you should tell me about that, because we
might be able to do a cool thing with that or not.
Oh, it's looking to me after the show or whatever.
Yeah.
Oh, we're back, boys.
We're back.
And ready.
I think last we left off the helmet and correct me,
we were going for the prison thing.
We punched the shit out of Eldar.
We shot them.
Piper and got shot, and we found the claw doter,
and we just gave a rousing speech, and we unleashed
the hounds of war onto the rest of the complex.
I assume we activated the elevator so they can get back up.
Right.
I assume that that is what Rebe and Captain Zedek
have done.
They have done at their time at the cogitator terminal.
Yeah.
But at this point, it's sort of up to all of y'all what
you want to do now.
You're kind of in this room with the arbitrators.
McClaw doter has explained that the jamming of outside
signals appears to be from the hangar, though it looks like
you might still be able to try to bypass the jammer.
It might require, like, a tech check in order to see if
you can get a signal out.
Oh.
I was going to say, did we cure Piper's poison yet?
The poison is cured, just not the damage.
I would love some kind of medical procedure so I don't
need to be obliterated and suffer consequences.
Now that we have transferred control of the elevator over
to the prisoners, I will now do a Medicaid check.
Yay!
Yeah, absolutely.
So it's a difficulty three Medicaid check, which stores one wound.
Oh.
You want to wrath that, Rebe?
Yeah, I'm going to wrath that. Fuck that shit.
Absolutely.
There you go.
Wrath, point, husband, sprint.
And it's...
There you go.
Okay, so that gives you a total of...
Three?
Looks like three that you can...
Well, actually...
Three you can shift.
Two that you can shift.
Two you can shift.
Blah, blah, blah.
So you can actually restore three wounds with that.
Good.
Take three wounds back.
Yay.
Oh, wait, yeah.
No, I have a natural medic...
Well, I'm not...
And there's no difficulties, are there?
So there's no...
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no.
I haven't provided any difficulties for a natural medic to mitigate, have you?
I mean, it's generally like, if you want to heal two people in a combat round or...
Oh, gotcha.
Like, shoot and do a Medicaid test, which you can also do.
Gotcha.
So there's super good usage of that.
That's...
That's...
I don't know if you've seen them on YouTube, but they're really good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've seen them on YouTube.
I've seen them on YouTube, too.
Yeah.
I think it's really cool.
I think it's really cool.
I've seen it.
I think it's really cool.
I think it's really cool.
I think it's really cool.
Yeah.
I think it's really cool.
This one.
uses for unnatural like skills
but it's generally just you
don't take any of those penalties
yeah I haven't had a whole lot of opportunity
to do it because most combat where you guys get
fucked up is usually pretty brief
it's true
okay
but yeah so the other thing again is
if you wanted to attempt a tech check
to contact the deck collector
that is possible as well
I will try to
fuss with it though that
may bring more chaos
to this place
it should be fine
all right so I'm going to quickly
make a tech check then
if my character sheet will cooperate
yes yes
oh my god
6,000 extra dice to this
please don't
I wonder how broken the square thing
would be
like seven
successes
seven successes is enough
you suddenly
Captain
Zedek
emergency
report
Zedek you're hearing this coming
through the vox
Ransom can you hear us what's wrong
please tell me you can hear us
command protocol
Zedek
per your orders
transmitting
your requested date
stop
currently
the servitors looking after
tater tot include
Isaac Payne
Jonathan Thomas
Joshua Crager
Chammer Guy
Javaroshak
Guy Masterson
Laura Pendle
and Frank Wargo the fourth
that's all the signal we can get through
but per your orders
that is the top priority of your
daily reports
ah
I don't think we need to care about the fucking deadly report I think we need the fucking ship shooting at people at least they did not die in vain
well we can't get through them this way so we might as well force our way back to where we can get to it
and like like McLaugher turns to you and looks at you and is like was that some kind of weapons code
yes that's explicitly what it was
yes that's explicitly what it was
yes that's explicitly what it was
are those servitors the names of your crack militarum tempestus commando squad that will be coming on board and she's so hopeful
no but they are guarding a very important weapon
Zedek
just say yes
just make her feel a little bit better
I can't give her false hope
come on
the imperium is built on false hope
Zedek
do I suffer?
do I suffer?
do I suffer?
do I suffer?
do I have to make a willpower to not be corrupted by that?
that seems like the opposite
this is not helping
I will attempt to deceive McLaugher
yeah absolutely
here
here
a seven
how do you state the deception I am so curious
I'm certain that the commandos will be arriving shortly after this
but more importantly, those servitors are defending
a top secret
a high value piece
a high value piece
of an artifact
from a foreign world which we are steadily
sending to the higher ups of the amb quedarium
sending to the higher ups of the amb 없습니다
it's important that these dark eldar do not
get a hold of this
so rest assured that we are in good hands
so rest assured that we are in good hands
she nods
all right
all right
all right
good good good good
we will see you out of here
we don't need them to arrive right now
the four of us will get
whoever's left in here out
alright then
perfect
that was a good job Zedik
that was almost true
I say patting him on the back
I punch Pi in the chest
wait I do not feel pain anymore
okay
hey
I push him back
nerd
has her like power mall
so
what do we do now
the current plan is to fight our way
down to the hangar where we can at least
disable the jamming device but maybe
hopefully one of our ships are remaining
we can scoot off this
station and rally reinforcements
from the debt collector in orbit
alright
men
get your equipment
ready we're moving out
and
there's this uniform like
as all of the shotguns are cocked
they have to bend down
and pick back up their shells
it just came out and put it back in
yeah cause they're like
can't waste ammo
that goes against the lex
that's no good
but yeah you see
and you get a sense that
essentially
McLaugher and five
arbitrators are going to join you
while the others are going to remain behind
to look after the wounded ones
which well Strebe has saved them
they are there in no position to be
to be moving out
so that's the complication
is they're going to live but they're not going to fight
that's part of the complication
yes
terrific
you can tell yourself that's part of the complication
I'm fine with that
let's move boss
so we're basically going to the hangar
or some
to basically find a ship to get out of here
right
and stop the jamming device
yes
that's jamming spamming
that's way too technical for Swolorn
yeah
all that pun's good
our intel appears to suggest
they have set up their headquarters
in the hangar
if we can destroy the hangar
these daggler
should have no place to run
once our prisoners
wash upon their dwindling numbers
what is the idea?
all right come on let's go hit them
yeah you start making your way
out of the sort of temporary command post
making your way through the station
which is just like unerringly quiet
except for the occasional scream or moan
that you hear off in the distance
all of the arbitrators have taken up
strong defensive positions around you
sort of checking all angles as you move up
as this
uniform
sort of like squad
through the halls
of the lex
mclaw doter
she stands behind
or beside you
with her power mall out
sort of like leans over towards
you
reeb and speaks
so
what will happen
after this with the prisoners
it is
sorry
reed
that is an issue for another time
you will likely be reaped
anyone who assists us with this matter
i shall say
will be reassigned to a different place
let that be an issue for the next team
to take care of
i see
that that makes sense
and you just hear this scream
off in the distance
yeah just a lot
of
ah
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
oh no
it happens
i'm dying
ah
ah
i have been slain
by a dork elder
ah
yo ho
yo ho
ho ho
yo ho
and this chanting
of piratical
voices
can be heard
further down
you know
i would take these people
so much more seriously
if they didn't talk
like pirates
is someone making them
do that
not likely
i believe they're doing it
out of their own accord
hmm
hey um gm
i'd like
is it would be possible for me to make any kind of check on this elder weapon i have with me
because i want to see if i can maybe make it blow up
um
yes that would be like a tech check
i give it to pi
what do you want
uh bye
yes
can you mess with this to see if you can make it explode
can i make it explode um
yes
probably not spectacularly i can see
i just i'm not doing it to see if it will explode i'm seeing
if it has the capacity to explode
beyond like a normal firearm like jamming spectacularly because like these are like
shards this isn't really explosive weapons
it's the needler from halo
yeah
uh so i'm rolling it
three successes
i'll use a wrath on this actually
okay
okie dokie
totally uh eight successes um this technology is is extremely foreign to you you're you're trying
to to get a sense of what exactly you would be able to do with it you could tell that it might
be possible to jam it so that if it fires it might like back like backfire and jam up and
explode in someone's hand but that would be fairly difficult and time intensive um you might
have if you had a few more like shifts available on that like shifted some exalted dice to to maybe
do it faster but since you don't have any you can tell this is something you'd probably need
to spend like a good half hour to an hour sitting down with this thing and and back into the
backpack it goes no sir okay so we're the shot was that one of their weapons yes i'm going to be
oh
could we lose
oh there's there hulky
and the alarm goes oh not again oh i'm fine it's okay that's good
ah yes this is going to be something that is going to be worth looking at later
you need to find an adequate solution for the poison coursing through our friend's veins and
for that i need the source
well if you ever need help studying xenos technology you may always ask your friendly
neighborhood tech priest i'm studying it for medical purposes i refuse to inspect this any
further than generating a cure the pirate chanting stops
well that's very responsible you read don't you aren't you supposed to know you know most of your
your technical knowledge is that they did as a mechanicus but not xenos technology why do you
know so much about xenos technology
okay
Oh, me?
I just looked at it.
He asked me to look at it.
Don't look at me like that.
I'm not a heretic.
I'm not a heretic.
I didn't learn about Geno's technology.
He's a human visitor.
Gentlemen, shut the hell up!
All right.
The primary hangar door is over there,
and McCloddorder sort of points
to a set of immense double doors that are,
like, each door is 10 feet wide,
so it's a 20-foot entryway.
There is our way.
Let's get a move on quickly.
Off I go.
As you get closer,
you can see that the doors themselves are spaced out,
so there's a 10-foot gap,
so basically they've recessed 5 feet on either side,
giving a 10-foot wide entryway into the hangar,
which is illuminated from space outside,
this sort of, like, dull reddish-orange,
and you can see the eye of the emperor's ire
that sort of floats in the background,
the immense gas giant that is this sort of
stained gray and red and orange hues,
and then the light of the stars that are sort of bathing
the rest of the hangar as you enter in.
You can see immense letters,
36 and scrawled on the ground,
the deck plating as you come in.
In several meters,
like, wide,
there's probably a good 5-meter-wide
numbering system that is here,
and there are crates and various different barrels
stacked up all around here.
Can everyone give me an awareness test?
Okay.
Well, I suppose I could,
but you'll have to make it worth my work.
I got a 4 and a glory.
Ha-ha!
I have 1.
I got a 3 in the glory.
That makes me number 1.
Ah, mine doesn't work.
Because there's not a button for it.
Yeah, I'll just do 2.
Because that's all it amounts to, which is nothing.
I got a 0.
Reeb, with yours, you have enough to tell
that there are various figures in here
that have sort of taken up defensive positions.
However, as you sort of, like, walk in
with the arbitrators fanning out to the sides around you,
several of these figures step out into the open,
and you hear this sort of voice shout
from the opposite end of the hangars.
Oh, now you'll be doing this.
You come into my domain.
Oh.
This station is mine.
You're all mine.
All of you.
I'm going to come for you and all your booty.
You don't understand,
but I'm going to come for you.
But your skin is going to be mine, too.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
I raise my hand.
The, like, the three Xenos that have stepped out
haven't, like, raised their weapons or anything yet,
but they're sort of holding their rifles down.
I raise my hand higher.
I'm waiting for them to call on him.
He's being very polite.
One of them steps out from, like,
behind some crates further, like, far at the other end of the room,
and you see this Xenos who is in filthy, darkened black armor
and has what some kind of, like, disc-shaped pistol studded
with, like, red maybe gemstones or just protrusions,
and then in her other arm she clutches
what appears to be some kind of lash or whip,
and she...
She sort of saunters out.
And there's the art for you of this figure.
And she, like, has this confident swagger
as she comes out of the side with this body.
What a fucking face.
I love her.
And she, like, sort of, like, raises the whip a little bit
and, like, doesn't, like, doesn't crack it,
but just sort of, like, raises it up as though to test.
It puts it down, and she just, like, looks across the vast,
like, gulf of this hangar at you,
some, like, easily over ten meters away,
and she speaks in this loud, grating voice,
and, well, then, are you the ones I'll be bringing back
to my ship to play with for the next few decades?
Ha-ha!
No.
I raised...
I raised my hand!
And, like, you can see McLaudoder,
and he's like, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
The Arbites are behind you, and they've kind of got their weapons.
You're going to answer him?
He's raising his hand politely.
I raised my hand for you.
I've had enough of this.
I'm putting Pi's arm back down.
All right.
You're right.
You are the worst kind of person.
Wait.
Wait.
Zarek.
Zarek, I need you to convince her that we are not a threat.
Go on.
Woo her with your wiles.
Oh, for fu...
This is...
I am not seducing...
I'm not seducing her.
I'm saying convince her, fucker.
Wait, can we talk about...
What are you motherfuckers doing?
They're going to fight us.
Just kill them.
Can we just talk real quick about how awesome this little graphic is?
Oh, yeah.
I have to take away the thing.
Thorin was very proud of making this background.
Oh, yeah.
This...
This shit.
I think...
Do you still...
Yeah.
Yeah, this lovely...
Fucking...
This was a group effort from Zarek.
I'm going to...
I'm going to explode.
What, you don't like my art?
Yeah.
No, this art is exceptional.
Thorin, this art is exceptional.
What we are doing right now is so beyond absurd.
It's like, oh, what?
We're going to have a fight.
What can we do about this?
What do we want to do to avoid fighting these murderers and disgusting people?
Oh, I didn't want to avoid fighting.
I just wanted to get called on to say a fun one-liner.
All right.
All right, Hulky.
I think this is Hulky's moment here.
Captain Zedek is at the forefront.
Captain Zedek.
You have all these arbitrators, like, looking for some kind of inspiration, Captain Zedek.
What are you doing?
Show her Zedek is.
She'll be impressed.
I don't think anyone's impressed by that book, honestly.
But moving past that...
Just kind of shooting her a glare.
I turn back towards the army tank.
And the rest of the party.
And I just kind of pace for a second and be like, hmm.
This is it.
This moment that stands on the precipice of a thousand different outcomes, which we choose to defy all but one.
I would love to tell you that we will all make it through this, but there is never victory without sacrifice.
I can promise you, though, that what we do here will define the fates of our colleagues we stand beside today and may ensure that we see the sunrise over distant worlds yet again.
I will.
I will fight to my last to see as many of you through this ordeal as I can, if only to save you from a fate indescribably worse than death, one that one may describe as being a piece of flesh upholstery that that thing over there wants to make you into.
Stand with us now and deny these lascivious leather men their perverted intentions, and I will promise you a place at our side serving a higher purpose if you do.
You are the Emperor's light, so bring that light.
End the lex to these dark, drenched wretches, and fight to the last.
Rain fire and brimstone upon these throne-forsaken aberrants.
And I turn back to the dark Eldar leader and be like, I see you over there, and while I'm not going to be joining you on your ship today, I'd be happy to invite you to be part of our little science fair back on the Death Collect.
All right, so first of all, Zoran, I need you to mark me down.
I need you to mark me down for a rune point.
Oh dear.
Uh oh.
Rune point been minused.
Are we about to get hit in the face with the Cerebite tennis ball special?
I'm just going to say that, like, I'm spending a rune point so literally one of these dark Eldar can just rake their rifle as you're in this speech.
Just like, as you're finishing one of them, just like, fuck this, man.
Yeah, we fucked around way too much.
Let's kill these guys.
Thank you.
So I'm going to break the regular initiative roll.
Here, let's move to this lovely fight map that we have here.
Hopefully you can all see it.
Oh yes.
Zedek has gone forward to give a rousing speech.
Assume the arbitrators are sort of all located around here doing stuff cinematically.
And then this one right here is just like, you know what?
You know what?
I'm just going to just raise up this rifle and take damage.
I'm going to just raise up this rifle and take a shot at him.
He shoots him and Zedek's open butt cheeks.
And he...
And complicates.
Fails and complicates.
Oh my god.
That's...
He gets punished for trying to interrupt Zedek's monologue.
I'm just going to make sure, because I think I have my stat sheets wrong and are overlaid.
Your defense is three, right?
Okay.
Defense is two.
Okay.
So that would tell you...
Yeah, whatever.
It complicates, et cetera.
You caught me monologuing, you sly dog.
You son of a bitch.
I'm going to kill you.
And like, as he...
As this, like, one Dark Eldar raises up his rifle and aims it, he goes to fire.
But instead, like, the weapon seemingly doesn't jam, but the crystals kind of foam up at the end of the barrel.
And it back washes over him.
And you can see he's kind of, like, shaking off crystals like he's been restrained.
I know what happened.
Who would like to go first in this cluster show?
May I return the favor to him?
I would like Zedek to go first.
100%.
I'm just going to smirk at him and laugh and just fire the arc pistol at him.
Please don't.
Okay, fail.
Okay, but the coolest thing in the world would have been if you didn't shoot him and you just kept talking.
Well, that depends on when he shot me during the speech.
Now you see what's going to happen.
What's going to happen is he's going to line up the gun that he has.
He's going to fire it.
And then he fails to hit and the gun jams and blows up.
And all you see from Zedek is, like, the little, the coat tail feather out because he farted.
God damn it. Poor Zedek.
Zedek, prove them all wrong.
Roll a crit. Murder them.
Destroy them.
Man, I would love to do that right now.
Destroy this man.
Ah, fuck.
You might want to wrap it.
That one missed.
Unless you want to.
I would like to wrap it.
Okay, yeah, absolutely.
Actually, I have that thing that may work on roll 20 for once.
Almost like high defense targets are actually reasonable.
Just click the reroll button and then it works.
Yeah.
Hopefully.
It should.
Waiting.
There we go.
Seven.
Yeah, totally.
Come on.
You can shift one to damage as well.
I would be happy to.
Yeah.
Let's do it.
Here we go.
14.
14 is still really damn solid and will just hit and cook this poor Dark Elven chest and falls down.
It's just dead with this electrified crater in the chest.
And as though to back Zedek's epic moment and, like, retaliation of drawing the pistol and fire,
as soon as there's the fire,
you start seeing something further south of where you are.
There's this great big void, like, not void shield, but I guess, like, exterior shielding that goes out into the space beyond.
And you see this horrific spiked vessel that starts looming.
But then the sides of it start to ripple in fire as something out of your view.
Begins to rain destruction upon it.
And then this Dark Eldar goes and shoots you, Zedek.
Yeah, that's...
I kind of expected that one.
May I use one of our Gloria to interrupt so that I may charge?
You may.
Is that okay with the group?
I'm cool with that.
Check it out.
Bloop.
All right.
One Gloria spent.
One is two-two charging.
Also, I recommend, Zedek, at least in your turn, since you didn't move, like, move and go into cover.
Oh, yeah.
It's just standing out here.
Yeah.
You didn't have...
You didn't use a move, so is it okay, Zedek, to do that?
I assumed he was just staying there, but yes, you can move into cover.
I will let Zoran Wargame Tactic teach you.
Yeah.
Move.
Move.
Move.
Move, move.
Okay.
I'm going to make him do this.
Okay.
I do it for the thigh, and I'm doing it for the thigh, and I'm going here.
Okay.
And I go choo choo, straight into it.
And then just straight in, in front of this one.
Some kind of ghost train summoning man.
Okay.
And I basically charge in there, and I just pang, like, punch him in the face as hard
as I can with my Ultra Fist and then kabam, I get a five and a critical.
God, Lord.
You and these humans!
roll a 2d roll 2d6 please um for the critical kaboom baby and that is a 43 and the damage
is kakabam 13 oh this is lovely uh the the critical effect is vicious vivisection the
fury of this blow causes horrific pain dissecting pieces of the foe's body in a scene of carnage and
whoa uh roll me d3 okay he's basically dead right he's quite dead yeah okay so what i would
like to happen i clicked okay so i like to happen i basically just run up it's one mortal wound
and as i'm just rushing in it's just it's just like smash elder and i just like boom i hit him
so hard that it just ruptures and decapitates him and i see the head just whiz by the one that's
behind him like
like it's a bullet just like right past him and i don't know if we want to make it cool or not with
a crit to call his feet but it's that's it's too much of a stretch but it's like just just like no
head catapults right by the other one he crumples and i look towards the next one like any of them
near me and i just start like not like a bull like just like my feet are going to like sliding on the
ground like i'm preparing the charge
okay so you okay you can you can do a few things here uh so you you utterly murder and eviscerate
that one like like you said uh you can pick one um to do like basically a multi-action to
intimidate or each extra one you do though will increase the difficulty by two i say yeah i mean
it'll still take like a turn to the to walk right because i already did my movement so i can't do
anything so i can no no you can you because you can multi-act like you can you can keep
stacking action it's just the difficulty goes up technically you should have done it before but
you create your fight so if you want to you can intimidate but what i'm going to say is if you
want to intimidate one of them at the start then i won't do it i'll just look at the one that you
know that left one that's on top of the three on the map i'll look at that one and i'll multi and
i'll do the multi-action thing at least so the give me give me give me give me the intimidate
yeah yeah so i'm basically looking at him and i point to him saying with a 15 you're
fucking next and i whoosh whoosh and we're getting ready to charge
just doing that slow moving thing that kinshiro is it's a mulch oh okay i can't do anything else
so he failed he fails his resolve test um he is he is skirt he um he was shot he was shot like you
you run rip this this poor other dark elder in half turn to the other one stare uh this one
behind the crate oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god
over here will act uh and like seeing seeing what you did very much what happened with pie
brain like turns raises the their necromantic depravator at you and just unloads in in in
hopes in just just just hoping begins praying oh wow by the muses that'll hit yeah yeah that
will hit with a bunch of bonus damage dice because he's uh also in rapid
fire uh 13 points of damage lorna okay i'll figure out all that in a bit as you get to the next
person yeah yeah so you're like you you cut you run forward you rip this one in half turn give
the bull eyes to the other the other dark elder is terrified um and then you just take this like
yeah i complicated my toughest test by the way complicate doesn't matter on a determination so
you just uh you reduce it by two and you just take a whole bunch of shards to your to your chest as
you're like riddled full of uh
weapons mr kelder uh and then one of the two players can go all right um if it is all the
same i may engage in combat yeah i know i will charge this one coming around the edge trying
to stay uh kill the sky with my power sword while still keeping cover from this for most other uh
enemies yeah and i am going to quite simply go for a cleaving strike to his neck and uh let us
see what happens so uh i get plus two for being mastercrafted plus one for being charging y'all
nine there you go you could shift two ah yes okay um all right in that case let's see what
happens to this poor unfortunate soul he'll be taking 14 damage ap is going to die uh yeah you
you just come around the corner and just like
what the hell that means
uh you're like muttering from here like and one of these these dark colors comes out from
the southern crate um again sort of silhouetted by the the growing space battle behind and he
ducks comes out raises his rifle
you oh i don't know what a lemuria be monkey but you'll be having this and he fires off a
blast from uh from his
deborah bateman the pirate songs
fail oh
shit ouch
you fucking animal
uh yeah i think
he'll be able to shift to
no he'll be able to shift one
because i'm uh oh you're in cover
yeah yeah yeah
but is
is in uh the
the close range so
we'll get some bonus dice on this and just
uh for 11 points
i don't know that long um
so 11 damage no wait oh 11 damage
all right we're going to roll some uh determination
real quick yep
uh suck it all
cool so yeah so i take two shock
okay no wounds from that
nope cool you are not
poisoned then as opposed to
you haven't heard
of lemuria
allow me to educate you
um
uh reed you are you are up
uh
can i quickly like shout
to the fucking elf over here
absolutely
excuse me are you responsible
for the uh
the guard up by
the elevator
um she
she begins like chuckling over the
arms fire and like
shots of crystalline weapon and crackling
power sword
did you like
my hand they work
yes i did excuse me a moment
i'm going to run over here
and i'm going to
uh pull out the las gun
and i'm going to zap him
yeah absolutely
medic
i i will
i'm not going to go over
your
i'm doing the team
fortress to medic call
you're just hitting the hot key
i'm just
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
you're the fucking heavy that is so badly out of position near the enemy
country gun
you know um
uncover you used the tank
his cover
excuse me i'm in need of medical attention i don't have a sandwich i need help
uh i'm gonna blast this guy because i'm not getting out of cover for one sure
you crazy no
uh so let's see it's mastercraft let's all get 28 you say i get two from that so no bonus
time
caught in the southern crossfire.
I'm mad at you.
So this is...
Also notice that we're not on a grid, technically.
Correct, correct. We're not using the grid. Just use the...
And then
I shall fire the
lasgun. Blast with a five.
That will
hit, so give me damage.
Okay. I don't have to shift anything
because it's life, but it's Mastercraft
so that gives me the bonuses.
No bonus die. Zap!
Hit him for nine.
Nice. Okay.
That strikes
and
seems to do a fair amount of damage.
It says salvo two.
So that's...
So salvo... Is it also
rapid fire? Yeah, lasgun's
a rapid fire. So you would also
get whatever the rapid fire rating
on the lasgun is as extra damage
dice. Oh, so I would...
So it's one, so roll
another dice. Yeah, okay. That's why.
Okay, actually, four is enough
to kill that poor Dark Eldar.
So four damage, just like
you come across, aim, fire,
the sort of red bolts
go searing out, crisscrossing.
A few of them hit the bottom of the barrel
or the crate that the Dark Eldar is behind
and the other ones score up the top of his body
and he collapses down.
Hey, uh,
Lauren, just as a suggestion, you might want to get behind cover
because I can't... It's not my turn, but
I was hoping my medic would help.
It's, uh...
You had to be a big, cool dude and put yourself
in every person's firing arc. What else am I
supposed to do?
You should've watched out for those crystals, Ken.
And I'd still get hit.
Oh, man, I got these
arbitrators helping me out.
I wish... I hate you.
I wish Reeve was my friend.
I hate you. Damn!
Oh!
See, if these arbitrators start moving up,
you see that this, uh, this
Dino starts, like, moving over to here
and is trying to sort of do a dance
around with this arbitrator.
Fires his necromantic deprivator.
Um, and
does hit. So only gets
this. Um,
does some back and forth firing
there. Uh, you can see the other arbitrators
have sort of moved up to try to provide
Lauren with some cover.
Um, there's a couple of them that are just, like,
moving up, taking some pot shots
here and there.
Um...
Uh, like, Lauren, you've got this one arbitrator
that's come in front of you, but then
the one beside the crate is gunned down
and you just see him get, like, a little
full of, like, these shards
and he collapses up against
the crate beside you.
I look at him and it's like, a true friend
who came to his ally's aid.
I'm going to straight up
caber-toss you out of this call.
Um, this character rushes up
and sees, sees, uh,
high brain and, like, raises
up his rifle and takes a shot.
Uh, I believe a five will hit you,
right? Oh, no. Uh, what's your,
what's your defense right now, normally? Uh, it is five
on the money. Okay. Um,
so, yeah, will hit you and then, like,
fires a few more shards and only does 11
points of damage to you. Um...
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
These little things, um, does that
actually break your resilience? Um...
Uh, yes, it does. Okay,
so give me determination to see if you can
soak, if you can soak. How much shock are you running
with right now, dude? Oh, I'm out of shock now.
So I will take one. Are you,
are you at zero shock, by the way?
Um... I am now,
but if I, if being at zero shock
fucks me over hard, I would just take the two wounds.
Uh, uh, okay, so
when you are at zero shock,
you are exhausted, so
you probably want to keep the one
shock on you. Okay, yeah, I'll just
take two wounds, it doesn't matter much to me. Yeah.
Um, cause... Why? Exhausted
is you can only walk, crawl,
or perform a basic combat action.
Yeah, I feel like I'm about to be a lot more
secure on my next turn, so I'm not so worried
about massive amounts of incoming fire.
Yeah, yeah, that's fine, that's fine, okay.
Uh, and that's it for all of them,
except for this one,
who she rushes up
and pulls out
this, this whip weapon,
which she crashes
down onto the,
the arbitrator in front of
you, Lorne, uh, and you see
this weapon sort of come back up
and go straight down as she
crackles it. No!
Um... No!
Oh, God, Lord.
Uh...
Hentai Lash
of Agonies. Boy, you're a funny
motherfucker, ain't ya? And, uh...
Fuck you! And then this
poor arbitrator dies a terrible
death as this lash goes
across her neck and, like,
pulls and tightens until
there's this cracking sound, and then the
arbitrator falls, and she's standing right
there with this whip and pistol, uh,
staring at you. I will defend you, Nameless Darbite.
I...
I will avenge you.
Okay.
That's it for all
of those. That's round one. We come
into round two. At this
point, at the start of the round, you start hearing
shouting over from,
from this direction, um,
and sort of more disparate fire,
and you just
hear, hear this, this,
this ogroid voice
yelling down the halls.
It's time
to riot, boys!
Put them all down!
With all freedom!
Is that
the Tangerine Man?
And as, as you say that, uh,
Pyrene, you also see the Xenos ship outside
is just glistening with
explosions as these shells are
striking into the spikes of its hull,
and you see, actually, one, one sort of
serrated blade coming out of
the ship's hull break off and start
flying off, burning
in the atmosphere, and that's sort of the
backdrop to this combat here.
Um, hey, top of the round, who wants to go
first? So, to
stop Lauren from having to make
bad checks, I will move
out of cover now that we have people
up here. Wait, wait, wait, wait, I have a solution for
you. I have a solution for you. Let, let me go
first. I have a solution for you.
So, the first thing,
so, first thing, you hear in the background
basically echoing as
you hear things of battle, and decide if I can
take some narrative, uh,
like, liberties, if you don't mind.
All you just hear in the back, back,
ground is just Chonkers yelling,
I'M TOP BITCH NOW! And you hear
like, there's a crash or something,
and, like, and destruction going.
But I will basically,
and Lauren will look
at the fallen Arbite,
a tear will streak down his face,
and he'll put his hands
together and start bringing
him to his side as a
gold, as a golden
molten ore begins
to form, and he's like,
AHHHHH
ME!
BEAM!
And then, and I shoot a molten beam
straight out,
no longer inhibited
by, uh,
by the necklace, and as
I'm shooting forth, hitting,
and I'm hitting the main Dark Eldar
lady who whipped, uh,
my Arbite friend to death,
and I fire forth
the molten beam,
and it
shall be
this roll. Give me a second.
Grabbing
molten beam, and then
and as it
goes, I get a seven.
Molten beam.
A seven.
A seven
will hit.
And as, and as it hits,
and the beam strikes her
for eighteen points of damage,
I, Lauren
starts to wither.
He does start
to wither, and...
Oh!
he's suddenly
yeah he's just medic
yeah he's just medic
medic
back to
the frail old man
as all of his mass
and muscles seem to
like slick off
like water into this
molten beam that
blasts out towards this
foul xenos
smashing into her central chest
plate and you just hear this
as she lets out
this horrific scream as
she takes the brunt of
this horrific damage
she feels
no pain however but she doesn't
make her determination roll so she
takes a ton of damage and like
staggers back though she is
still standing
after taking that
the blast tearing out a chunk
from her side the sort of
like rivulets of
melting xenos armor
dripping down
and her eyes go
steely as she
stares at the frail old
man before her
nice doing business with you
I run this way
for my movement action and I chill
back there in cover behind these
crates and stuff
might I make a suggestion because you kind of jumped
into that real quick
could you knock yourself down a glory
and
say that you interrupted to
that way allow another pc to go immediately after you if you want
okay just just saying just saying you might want to do that
okay
who would like to go next
can I
can I do something because I I finally I see an opportunity for me
yes uh yeah I have no problems with it
uh gm I believe this is within my movement it seems to what do you want to do don't don't worry too much about that
what do you want to do don't don't worry too much about that
what do you want to do don't don't worry too much about that
what do you want to do don't worry too much about that
the exact measurements here
what are we going to mantle the box and charge at the elf with a melee attack
okay
yeah
I do not have a cure
oh well can I medicate him and then do it
absolutely because a natural medicaid means you don't take a penalty on your
medication congratulations lord
I'm going to activate medicine
yeah I literally adjusted it
I was going as you're going
why are you leaving why are you leaving
oh here he goes
Why are you running? Why do you leave?
Lorne, you get four wounds back from that.
Neat!
I put my hands on top of Lorne's head and I crick it slightly so that his spine's back in alignment.
Thanks!
You unsealed his chakras.
Yeah. Now you can do the shadow clone no jutsu.
Uh, yes, I'm going to charge into melee.
I just assume that, like, Reeb has this moment, I'm not even gonna make you roll for it,
where you just, like, hop up on the box and do this, like, running jump off.
Yep, and instead of my little scalpel, I pull out the fun little splinter that I had.
Okay.
And I'm gonna jam it right into that hole that Lorne just blew into her armor.
Impressive. Give me a weapon skill test.
Can I dump the rest of the glory, please? My weapon skill's good, but it's like...
I don't know why we had to spin a glory. None of our turns started yet.
Like, I just...
It was why you had to, because otherwise I would have got to act in between you and Reeb, so...
No, I mean... I get it, I get it, I get it.
Otherwise I would have attacked you and you would have died, so...
Here we go! Let's see if it works!
Binga six cra... great. Complication.
Okay, um...
Is six sufficient, or do I need to use my last wrath?
Six is sufficient.
I will do a wrath anyway.
Okay.
And turn that into a six.
Which is... good, yes.
Um... and a complication.
Um...
Joy.
Oh, did someone refund my wrath?
Yeah, you have one left now.
Oh, can I do another one?
I mean, you can't...
It's like, it's only... you already hit, so...
You only would be rolling one die.
I wanna shift.
Is the problem.
Uh, you can't...
Yeah, it's not worth it.
No, you can't shift any... any here.
Uh, so, okay, um...
So, what you can do for damage, though, would be, uh, roll me one damage dice.
So just 1d6?
Yeah, 1d6 and then I add the base damage of the weapon type, so it'll be...
Two.
Eight, okay. Um, she...
Will make a chest...
Can I attempt to make a narrative declaration?
Of course. Of course you can.
I have a... I have a... and...
How?
And by the way, this might be a long shot,
so feel free to veto me.
Oh, of course.
But this Cerebite is in bad shape, right?
Yes, especially now that she's having a hunk of her,
have poison shit jammed into her by a medical professional.
Yeah, exactly.
And you know, the thing is,
is that this Kabalite warrior
has wanted to take her position from some time.
And now her back is turned to him
and he might just see his time to strike.
Unfortunately, I don't know if we have a glory to...
Oh no, but I have a wrath.
The question, I have to go on his side for this one.
Your character probably does not know that.
Oh, I'm not, I'm not affected.
Oh no, no, no, no.
This is him trying to use,
make a narrative declaration to just like make me hurt myself.
Yes, that is it.
It's not my...
It's not my turn.
This is not a hybrid action.
I'll allow it on two conditions.
Sure.
One, it will take both of your wrath points.
Okay.
And two, I will make that attack action,
but then I will still get a regular action after that.
Okay.
Sure.
Okay.
Is she poisoned?
You can tell that like you've jammed,
you've done extra damage to her,
but it doesn't look like she's taken poison from it.
It's more like you've,
you've managed to get up and just kind of like shove something into the wound
and like basically hit like this molten wound,
which has caused extra pain,
but, but she's not poisoned.
Damn it.
That was my one hope with this.
Cause I figured we were going to be fighting a bullshit boss.
And I was like,
I'm going to use poison without using your gun.
Fucking dark souls tactics here.
I'm pulling on my poison,
throwing knives and getting the poison going.
And then meddling determination roll.
That's right.
We've gotten away with it.
All right.
And then as was declared a speaker,
do you have a name for this,
this dark Eldar right here?
Well,
of course.
Yeah.
What's,
what's their name?
His name is obviously a Hatsu Minerio.
I hate you,
but sure.
And Hatsu Minerio does turn and raises his necromantic depravitor.
Depravitor.
At the cyber rights and,
and missing and complicating.
So get fucked you.
Let's see here.
The complication.
How does he die?
How does he fuck up so badly?
Uh,
um,
his,
his,
his whole set.
Huh?
The Hatsu Minerio eat thin if not.
I mean,
the whole third of his body is broad pink and feet are long.
Um,
this is an unnecessary attention,
which is suddenly all enemies are now focused on this.
Great er.
Thank you.
Thank you,
by the way,
patron a demon,
1,
2,
3,
4,
1,
0,
0,
for this,
you expected me to use this complication with a PC,
but I'm kind of using it on a PC.
It goes,
how swimming aerial.
It's like an honorary BC now.
Yeah,
dark old,
our fires and misses,
so you'll be wanting my throne
when you're not taking it from me
and so the cyberite
goes and
she like turns to
face Reeb
and Reeb
she's taking a double action
here so she is going to
she's going to take
a penalty on
this but she's going to attack
you point blank with her murder
dick shooter pistol
oh fuck
oh that's an alpha special
um it was
very much in his commentary notes
for this session
we'll do a three because she'll take a minus
two to that we'll do a three
your defense
me? yeah Reeb
my defense is
still a three
okay cool
so she strikes you at close range
still for 11
points of damage
okay
okay that means
with my resilience of eight
so I would need to do a
resolve
as she like shoots you point blank
that wasn't what I meant to do
slash R3B6
so I take two wounds
and one shock
and you feel like poison coursing through you
with that however she
takes her lash and lashes
it out to Reeb
towards Hatsumunerio
um
taking a like cracking whip strike against
and failing
Hatsumunerio
Jesus
that was like
ten eleven dice
and she only got a two
the agents of vect strike
fuck you in that bullshit stratagem
all right who would like to go next
I would like to go
haha
haha
wait wait can I go
cuz I fear that he's gonna try to kill me in retribution
and I can take out both of my egg wizards
sure why not
thanks sorry
thanks sorry
but Thirsty's gonna try to kill me
yeah Thirsty's gonna want revenge for this
harsh bitch so
haha I'm running in
I'm coming here I'm gonna multi attack these two fucking bad boys
so is it the second one that's at plus two difficulty
or is it just one attack plus two difficulty
sorry I haven't played in a while
um so you're okay so you're doing a multi attack
yeah I want to get both of these guys
so they're separate attacks
okay
so you would nominate the first one and then they're both at plus two
to there basically to their armors
so they have defense seven effect
oh I see I see interesting okay
in that case how much do you have
I basically none at all
all right um I am going to just
swing I'm charging in I got my
which one are you nominating first
we're gonna take out this guy first
okay
all right
and two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two
Let us roll to see what occurs.
And that is a total of eight successes.
That will hit.
You can't shift any of them, but you will hit.
That's fine.
I don't need anyone else.
I am just going to roll.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So let's go, let's go, let's fucking go!
Yeah, you come, there's like, I don't know,
like a pie brain on ice skating in,
and decapitate the one dark Eldar turning around
to make your swing on the second.
Yeah, I'm coming in high on him, low on this guy,
trying to slice through this guy's torso.
One slick, clean motion.
If my character sheet will load,
and then he explodes.
And then he explodes.
Oh no, he has modern from fucking country.
Crit!
Nice.
You got a crit!
Ah, but, so if I crit, and I don't hit his defense,
does that count as a miss?
Um, let's see.
Doesn't he have just six?
An attack that misses does not trigger a critical hit.
Well, that's cool.
It's five, but it's seven, because he multi-attacked,
because it's a plus two to the difficulty.
I mean, you don't have, you have one wrath die left, so.
Technically, also, it is eight,
because you've taken damage pie,
so all of your, you have wounds missing,
so all of your difficulties are actually increased
by another one.
Oh, well, I'll, I'll reroll.
Okay.
So, yeah, use the...
Ah, there you go.
There we go.
I think a 14 might do it.
Goodbye.
So, roll 2d6.
I just want to see what the crit is.
I would, I'm...
Just to describe how this terrifying thing happens.
Yeah.
56.
56.
Bone shattering impact.
A crippling bow smashes the foe's body,
reducing arms, legs, and ribs to fractured splinters.
It's dead.
Shit.
Like...
Yeah.
I cut him, and it's like if some anime,
I cut half of this box, too,
and it starts to slide.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, you have the moment,
and then the box slides out.
He unsheathes and then resheathes his sword
without even seeing him move.
Yeah, exactly.
I will soon learn the three-sword style.
That's my turn.
Okay.
I will activate the scared one.
We'll go one.
And while running, we'll shoot you, Pi.
He takes a penalty because he's scurred right now.
It's only minus one penalty, and you're in the open,
but whatever.
God fucking damn it.
Oh, what a shame.
I rolled three.
I got greedy.
I should have taken the safe bet and shot at Zedek,
but no, I got greedy and then felt spiteful.
Zedek, you make up.
That's so unfortunate.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry, Thurston.
Not wanting our medic to get...
What a rotten way to die.
Not seeing our medic being imperiled
and almost certainly about to get whipped,
I am going to take the opportunity to move up and...
Oh, we don't have a move thing yet.
Here we go.
Get it right.
Get close.
Get real close.
Real close.
You don't have to worry about the grid stuff.
Like, put it where it...
Okay.
We're trying to get rid of the grid system.
I'll just stay...
Essentially, winch myself in between Reeve and the Sivirite
to a flourish of my power sword
and ram it through that hole if I can
as soon as it rolls.
Yeah, ram it through that hole.
I mean, what?
Just make it easier.
Oh, I'm gonna...
I'm gonna re-roll that.
Okay, yeah.
Embarrassing, too.
I have an embarrassing failure.
There we go.
Embarrassing.
You have no more breath.
Die, Zedek.
Zedek.
Okay, that will just hit.
Actually, no, it won't.
It misses.
Get rekt, actually.
My apologies.
She has one higher.
Unless you want to spend that one glory point.
Oh.
Oh.
Yes.
Spend it, boy.
Get lucky.
Get a six.
Hopes and dreams.
And you got a one.
Fuck.
Thanks.
Ah, it's good.
It's good.
Makes me feel happy about life.
That's so funny.
However...
Mario game over noise.
Luckily, I don't have many more that I can use against you
because this one has to obey to the rules of the complication
and try to kill Hatsu Minerial,
who I now view as simply an extension of Speaker D
that I might be able to kill.
So this one comes around the corner
and seeing the enter, like,
enterprising Dark Elixir,
Dark Eldar, Hatsu Minerial,
who has taken advantage of his cyberite's weakness.
This one is a loyal Dark Eldar
who doesn't betray their GM
and just unloads at point blank
into Hatsu Minerial.
And misses.
Because fuck my life.
Hatsu Minerial!
Speaker, I've got to give you a gimme.
We need to knock Hatsu Minerial unconscious
and take them as prisoner.
No!
Fuck no!
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
Come on!
Redemption arc!
All right, that's the end of that combat round.
Wait, you told us that we were going to be kidnapping
a lot of people.
I'm just obliging.
I like how you're all like,
it's so wrong to kidnap the small rattling child.
We must kidnap the high school kid.
Rattling child!
Rattling child!
High school child!
Rattling child!
Anyway, every season starts with a kidnap.
Of course, it's tradition!
All right, all right.
Beginning of the combat round.
Can you mark me down a ruin point, please?
Oh, boy.
A ruin point.
A ruin point.
Hatsu Minerial suffers a heart attack.
A fatal heart attack.
A fatal brain aneurysm.
Overdoses on ketamine and dies.
Fuck you.
Before we start,
Hoki, you got one wrath back.
Yes!
We're going to get back one glory.
Zedek gets an additional one.
And...
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
That'll be that and some secret good stuff.
Secret good stuff.
Okay.
So I'm going to use that rune point I spent
to activate the cyber right
before all the remaining initiatives.
And then I'm going to strike into you two.
She is going to multi-attack.
She is going to start by taking her lash of agonies
and striking at Captain Zedek.
I would like to make a reflexive action and sidestep
so I will gain defense.
All right.
Oh, and Thursday?
It's a complication, isn't it?
It's a complication thanks to that person.
Okay.
I've been waiting on this one.
Don't worry.
Don't worry.
I know exactly what this complication is.
It's a perfect complication.
Will a six hit you with the sidestep?
Let me see.
Probably.
My defense bar time is higher.
Yeah, I believe so.
Okay.
Don't worry about my things.
I still got to fix mine at some point, but it's...
Yeah.
I would have a defense of four and resilience of ten.
Cool.
Resilience is good because resilience is so good.
I will do eight points with AP minus two, though,
with the hentai lash of agonies.
So it would be a total of ten?
Yeah, yeah.
But then you get your resilience and then you get your determination and stuff.
Yeah.
So if you have ten determination total with the AP two,
you're at eight, so nothing happens.
Yes.
Yeah.
Or you take...
No, no, no.
You take a shock.
You take a shock.
I will reduce my shock.
Now I'm going to invoke this lovely complication from Zijika,
which really is just meant to add further complication to the Hatsu Minerial drama.
This patron-inspired complication is called I Like a Girl Who Can Kick My Ass.
And Captain Zedek, you think she's flirting with you.
Fuck's sake.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Don't worry.
Don't worry.
Don't worry.
If you thought this was bad enough, I am also going to fire the murder dick shooter at you.
No!
No!
And that will definitely hit you.
I'm going to brain you with a glass bottle.
Good.
Good.
Good.
This is good.
We're having fun here.
Ooh, and 13 points of damage to you.
Does Zedek die?
Mm-mm.
Well, that's to you, Reeb.
Okay, let me see here.
So that's still eight, and that would leave me with five.
You'd have one left, but you'd still get to termination if you have any shock.
So I start a 3d6.
Ah, jack and shit.
I take five extra hit points.
Yeah, as you feel the shards of the...
the shooter impale into you.
And again, you just feel sort of woozy as these weapons penetrate your skin.
And she, meanwhile, got the lash kind of like playfully around Zedek's shoulder.
That's my action for her.
Who would like to go next?
I would like to redeem myself and not let Reeb die.
I...
I like how all of you are like, me, me, me, me.
I'll let Zedek go.
Zedek's going to go last for a while, so Zedek, you go.
Okay.
I just need to medicate myself before something dumb happens.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, to be fair, I only have two other people who can act.
One of them is going to shoot Speaker D on the run out, and then the other one is going to shoot at Atum and Hariel.
Okay, fine.
Yeah, no, that's fine, though.
Great.
So...
Uh, just with the whip kind of wrapped around me, but not really doing any damage, I'll grab onto me like,
You think you can hurt me worse than the Hive hurt me?
I think you're out of your...
And I will attack with a power sword again.
Okay.
Don't fail.
Okay.
Say something cool, say something cool, say something cool.
Depth as I plunge the sword through the molten hole in her torso.
That'll hit.
Would you like to spend the...
Would you like to spend a wrath to fish for more shift abilities, or add the glory to get an extra point of damage?
Your choice.
Uh, both, even.
Uh, fuck.
I guess I'll re-roll and try and get more damage.
I won't make this nightmare stop.
Okay, sadly not.
Would you like to spend the glory point for the extra damage?
We just got five glory.
Okay.
Would you like to spend six glory to, uh, to add six damage to this flat?
Oh my god.
Sure.
If the party is okay with that.
I guess.
Whatever.
Take it.
Okay.
So, so what?
Six to the damage bottom.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, not, not the bottom.
Sorry.
Just roll normally and then add six to, to whatever you get total.
So.
Okay.
Fuck.
Hold on.
I believe in you.
Oh no.
So it'll be a 15 AP minus three.
Describe how you murdered this dark elder.
Ooh.
So as the sword plunges through her, I will just kind of crank the power handle on the
power sword and just overcharge it and see if I can just cause her to detonate with the
raw energy.
Is that how that works?
And just pull.
No, but it's fucking cool.
I will, I will pull her in very briefly as the sword is charging up to maximum fuck.
Don't.
Oh my.
Where the fuck is Zedek from?
Then explode.
Okay.
Okay.
I need to, I need to like add to this because as you like pull her in to, to stay to this,
like the backdrop of the, the immense Zeno ship as it just starts to like explode violently
as you could start seeing torpedoes strike and it begins to veer off.
off until another
like torpedo strike
smashes into it
snapping its spine and causing
its debris to start falling
into the gas giant and then like
as you have this you turn her around
so she can see her ship exploding
and then
yeah she dies
you whisper Japanese words
and then what
happens is very very quickly
this Xenos
here
goes and attempts one last
time to kill Hatsu Minerial
because I
believe in myself
did I get two fucking wrath back?
yeah you did
this Xenos
honky! can I make a
narrative declaration with two of my wrath?
what would you oh god damn I like how we're
changing the narrative like
I will declare something
bullshit for one I will
declare something like
absolute bullshit by
spending two sure what's your
absolute bullshit story you want to spin
here Halky?
so Hatsu Minerial seeing as the deed is already
done knowing that he can
probably or they
can probably ascend
the position that the Sybarite once held
sees it as a good opportunity to run
and locate the webway portal they came in on
no hang on I wanna
no please I had an idea
you freak
um
um I I will say
like um Hatsu Minerial
there is no webway portal here because they
use their webway portal
but what if Hatsu Minerial
was an agent of Vect
with a personal webway portal
what if
pieces of shit
I gave you Hatsu Minerial
this session you can be fucking happy
with that
can I go next
yes yes yes you may go next
after this one fails to strike
okay
okay
you the real one
you the real one
I did my best
okay I'm going to do two actions
so one of them is going to be
uh
so let me think
so this would be
um sorry I was multitasking
did uh Zedek actually use wrath or
no
it's not happening so again
I'm sorry
so I'm going to go up
is Minerial whatever the fuck
looking in our direction or are they looking in this way
I'm going to go up
uh they're kind of transfixed on the fact that like you have murdered the pirate queen and now they are regretting their life choices
I'm going to run up to this Eldar and roll a medicaid and knock them unconscious
like the one that was like shooting this one here
no Hatsu Minerial I'm gonna knock them out
oh okay
god damn it
yeah yeah totally totally
you've got some like crazy drug shit
give me a medicaid check why the fuck not
let's see what happens
give me that aid and a glory
uh yeah you like
like as Hatsu Minerial is
is staring at the
the downed cyberite the leader of their
warband uh and being
shot at by the by the like
one loyal Drakari left
like fucking re-menacingly
approaches with a syringe
jams that into Hatsu Minerial's
like exposed neckplate
and the Dark Eldar immediately drops
their weapon and just collapses
down um
onto the ground
unconscious I fucking hate you
don't don't don't try me more
no I want to ask something
I want to ask something can I describe it
uh yes yes
so the Eldar is standing there
while rounds completely miss this Eldar
they're just like flying over their shoulder
and they're just standing looking at the corpse
Reeb walks up and goes
judo chop
lay of the game
Keenum!
Keenum!
Keenum!
Keenum!
Keenum!
Keenum!
Keenum!
Keenum!
Keenum!
Keenum!
okay okay yeah
and was that all that I could do
because that's unnatural medicaid
can I shoot or is that no
um I'll let you shoot
I mean there's one fucking Dark Eldar
left please shoot
please please end my
suffering
your suffering will be legend
it's fair
don't worry it was a 4 and a crit so I missed
oh wait no I can ref so it's a 6
and a crit
oh
i'm just you yeah judo chop ray's pew dead
um and then the last one here like rushes off uh and then you hear the voice of chonkus briefly
no no no that one disappears oh i wanted the cash crash on him it's okay
he ran off and chonkus got him you got your molten fucking beam on the boss that landed
strike but let the boss die i just wanted to turn someone into a meatball people ask you how you're
doing and you just have to say you're fine but you're not fine you're you wanted to make meatball
you want to make meatball so bad i just want to make meatball uh so with that um all of the
dark eldar slain
the arbenis are wounded having been fighting other dark eldar that put more clearly on the
combat map because uh and then then as as you see the in the distance the vessel collapsing
into the the great gas giant off in the distance though still far far away but close enough
you see the hull of the debt collector fly into view and you can see what appear to be shuttles
oh
their way towards you and that is where we will end today's session very good
look forward to further adventures with hatsune and ariel
i can't i can't fucking wait to like message alpha and be like so about our next art order
dot dot
i saw this in the tribe chat and i'm so mad at myself someone posted discombobulate
discombobulate yes true yes wait we need to say authoritatively right now because i i didn't
imagine uh hatsune and ariel uh what what exactly they look like until i had to come up with a name
for them uh and i i don't know what's funnier if it's if it's just like uh uh uh if she's if
hatsune and ariel is a woman or just a man with hatsune miku hair uh oh hatsune miku helmet well
it's just on the the whatever the fuck adventures these have become
but for real this uh this marks the end of our our first season
now we'll go straight into season two and we'll let the artists aside what that dark elder looks
like
oh true
and if you like doing art and stuff we appreciate our art team a bunch of awesome people who do art
on the discord we think everybody who attends to the discord itself and having fun with us there
you can always go on i think it's discord.gg forward slash on the bear and also you can find
the link to it uh down below the twitch stuff in the twitch info bars or the about section if
you're looking on the mobiles so with that i'd like to say thank you to the folks who do an
awesome job we're gonna do this a little quickly speaker days thank you so much
yes i am speaker d i am uh uh still a guy you can find me on twitter at at super snake kick
and you can find me on the youtube at speaker d and you can find me in the stars watching over
you as you dream mr erindil thank you very much uh yes my name is erindil you can find me at
twitter at at twitter at erindilio because i don't have anything else to plug thank you
i love you
love you goodbye
thank you mr hulky crow for being here
thank you for having me zorin you can find me at at hulky crow on twitter and usually lurking in
zorin's discord and probably making an ass of myself as usual
and thank you to our luscious game master thurston hillman
i don't even know what the fuck is happening in this game
i'm having a good time man
i love you all thank you for listening um what is reality
but seriously
and remember for those who watch the on not warham stuff whatever on this channel the subathons next
week so if you want to come and help support the channel and everybody else here thank you
remember patreon we're almost hitting our goal for warham for warhams fantasy for the warhammer
fantasy campaign and we're almost near that on our patreon which is patreon uh or basically
patreon.com for slash warhams and also we're making a warhams warhams character
with our new cast member who will be there on sunday and uh her name is otoroshi she is fantastic
and we hope that you guys give her a very warm welcome for joining us on for the warhams fantasy
uh thing so we hope you guys arrive on sunday which is tomorrow at 1 p.m pacific standard time
you guys get to help make her character you guys get to influence a whole bunch of stuff
so we hope you show up we're super happy to have her so with that everybody thank you so much
and we'll see you next time bye bye
we'll see you next time thanks goodbye everybody
agent's effect is a totally valid strategy you should use in every game that you can
it's really fine
the torture never ends it's fucking awesome
you
doesn't matter
so
you
© transcript Emily Beynon