Alzheimer's and Dementia Care | Connecting with a Loved One Who has Dementia

Many clients have asked us over the years for advice about connecting with a loved one with memory loss. In this podcast Tim Tholen CEO and founder of Thoughtful Healthcare talks about how to maintain a relationship with a loved one who has been diagnosed with dementia.

Show Notes

So one of the many questions we get that Thoughtfulcare is how do I connect with my dad? He has dementia. And we tell them that the goal is to create an enjoyable experience so that you can spend quality time together. And it might not be perfect in your eyes, but it will be so valuable to your dad. It's easiest if we meet the person with dementia where they are, not where you think they should be. So accept them for who they are completely. And know that the process they are going through and will continue to go through will require you to reassess and adjust the strategies that you will use. And while games like Bridge and Sudoku and crosswords, they might work early on, other activities might be more appropriate as the disease advances and you'll will want to be able to adjust to those changes. Take a deep breath. Smile because your positive outlook will set the tone. As the dementia progresses frustration can increase in both the caregiver and the person with dementia. So the upbeat attitude is a winning attitude. In another talk we discuss behavior logs. Noting behaviors can help avoid outbursts by helping the care team to discover patterns and triggers and likewise avoid activities that may increase frustration. Noting behavior will illustrate the times of day when albums tend to happen and then you can plan the activities that are appropriate for the time of day. You know a common saying amongst professional caregivers is you cannot win an argument with someone with dementia. So remind yourself that you are arguing against a disease and that is simply not one you could possibly win. So let it go.

When it comes to activities tailor them to create a positive experience. People with dementia are oriented in the past, so go there with them. Share some old movies read some short articles listen to some music from the past. It evokes fond memories. Now other activities can be craft based like painting or making a collage. We've seen families create raised gardens on tabletops or outside that they can tend to. We've put up bird feeders near windows so that families can watch life in action. Or simply go outside the outdoors can be so calming, so just go for a stroll. Here are some more tips for you to consider: break longer activities into smaller activities, it's okay to do a staycation outing so make a fun event at home, again movies can transport people to the past to talk about their favorite movies growing up and watch one together, cooking special foods is a way to connect any old recipes or family favorites will engage your loved ones senses and can nurse them in more ways than one. You could take out that old photo album again. You can have conversations about life events of the past. Now at some point the activities that used to work may no longer be appropriate. So you must adapt to keep your loved one engaged. Please do not use the TV as the primary activity. It is so not good for their brain. And for people further along in their processes the activities need to be much simpler. Just fold some hand towels or opening some mail. And do not stop exercising with them or getting fresh air. You just need to adapt to make it safe and easy.

Thoughtful Healthcare offers 24 hour in-home care tailored to your loved one's needs. We've been serving Kansas City and the surrounding areas since 1999. Now back to the podcast.

Now people with dementia do tend to get overwhelmed and they may not be able to verbalize their feelings. So watch for some cues that are say enough. Frustration or listlessness. You might listen for verbal cues such as repeating, "NO" or engaging in expressive language. You might look for visual cues such as lack of attention to the activity or restlessness. And when you notice these indicators just change activities or give it a rest. Enjoy what you have done, hold their hand and give them a pat on the back because human contact is priceless and can connect.

Now having a conversation with a person who has dementia is an art because their brains will have a harder time processing and understanding what you're saying. Now there's no simple single way to engage, but we've seen some success with the following tips. So in conversation sentences and words should be short using yes or no questions. And don't expect your loved one to remember long details or instructions. You should avoid saying, "Don't you remember that we talked about this already?" because the likelihood is that they don't. And the conversation might be cyclical. So try not to react if the same question is asked more than a few times. You're not alone. Many millions of people are diagnosed with dementia. In fact studies show that starting at age 65 the risk of developing dementia doubles every five years. And by age 85 years and older. Somewhere between 25 and 50 percent of us will exhibit signs of Alzheimer's disease. So use your resources. Contact your local Parkinson's and Alzheimer's Association. They have many activities for people with dementia and caregivers. Group activities can be fun if your loved one is appropriate for them. You should seek out as a caregiver, caregiver support groups because they're important for your well-being and look to connect with others who are in the same situation as you. Please don't give up. Remember your efforts to connect will add to the overall well-being.

Get the support you need it's out there and if you want some help. Call us at thoughtful care to be one of our special caregivers. Thank you.

For more information about Thoughtful Healthcare and its services. Visit our website at thoughtfulhealthcare.com.

What is Alzheimer's and Dementia Care?

Tim Tholen, CEO of Thoughtful Health Care, discusses valuable strategies, tips, and information used every day in the care of Alzheimer and dementia patients at home.

Thoughtful Healthcare is committed to providing your loved ones with the very best in personable, caring and friendly at home care. By providing compassionate and professional caregivers a higher quality of life for loved ones under our watch is achieved through advocacy, integrity, continuous improvement and, above all else, honesty.

Enhancing Lives - Extraordinary Care