foreign
[Music]
ladies and gentlemen
Guys and Dolls and everyone in between
gather round
something real nice to sip on and comfy
to slip on
cause it's time for smut Club
here's your hosts Chelsea and Anna
hey everybody I'm Hannah
and I'm Chelsea welcome to smut Club
where we talk about smut
which is some of it's good some of it
most fits bad yeah
we we literally we the last episode we
reviewed we were like we're talking
about it and we're like
have we ever
have we ever given a book like a solid
like 10 out of 10 or 5 out of 5 or
anything no not on the podcast I know we
have on Goodreads yeah like you and I
like I have rated on Goodreads I think
like
ugly Love by Colleen Hoover I rated five
out of five
um
wait for it by Mariah Zapata I like that
one yes
um I think I also gave hands down a five
out of five which did you know if I read
that one did you read the wall of
Winnipeg of Me Okay so the wall of
Winnipeg of me I feel like that's the
big one that like most people know
Mariana Zapata for
there's a dude named Aiden we love the
name Aiden in a romance novel
um Aiden has
um is
it's the whole book is Aiden and Vanessa
wait for it is Vanessa's best friend
Diana right
um
there's another football player who like
Aiden plays for like a
the Dallas 300 that's whatever made up
football team
um and one of the other players Zach
lives with him and so
um hands down is about Zach and
um there's another book by her called
like the best thing or something like
that
um that's about like a MMA
or like UFC fighting gym something of
that right
um and it's like the girl who works at
the front desk in that book so it's the
girl from the best thing or whatever
it's called and Zach from the wall of
one and like I Zach is one of my
favorite like I adore Zach noted and how
did we start talking because I gave it a
5 out of 5. okay okay okay I got it I
got it
you yeah read more Mariana's part of
[ __ ] like that is what the world
needs apparently
um what the world could have lived
without
because there are no Saints by Sophie
Lark which is what we are reviewing
today and I will tell you I found this
um on tick tock
so I don't remember who it was but
um one I found a video this woman was
saying like
these are all of my top really dark
reads if you want something dark this is
for you blah blah blah and I was like
okay wiggle oh I gotta go I like a good
dark green I I like that I'll try it I'm
into it
um
so I it's been a real struggle for me
not to tell Chelsea details about this
book because it it just is something
else
um my poor husband when I was about 40
of the way through I just like word
vomited all over him about all of it and
I was like what the [ __ ] is this and he
was like
I I don't know like you okay baby like
please talk to someone else about this
you're like this is what you have
Chelsea for basically basically like
what's the point of this [ __ ] podcast
if I still have to listen to these
stupid books so anyway
um I thought you had the podcast Outlet
so I didn't have to be exactly
you know at least like so we record the
podcast at my house and so at least
Matt gets a reprieve yeah Vance just
sits here and listens to every single
episode and then edits them and the look
of horror on his face some of the times
I'm like I'm so sorry honey yeah and
he's like
so so this is what you read it sure is
and I like I saw a tick tock that I
actually think I sent to Hannah recently
about
um
like how women will just sit there
straight face reading like the most
aggressive sex scene yeah and especially
like when you're reading it on your
phone or on your your Kindle or
something like no one's seeing the cover
of these books no one has any idea
the horror Within
yeah when people are like what are you
reading I'm like I don't
you don't want to know yeah like
especially when it like
so one of my
um life coaching clients was like yeah
my goal was to read 18 books this year
and I've read ten and I was like oh yeah
my goal was to read 200 and then I got
pregnant so I bumped it down to 150 and
I've read like 125 so far and he's like
oh any recommendations and I was like
truly not absolutely not like
I'm like and I don't know what that says
about me that I've read
125 books this year and I'm like
how many would I recommend
yeah I've read 204. I did post I know
right I did do a review for a book that
I read recently I think it was the one
you love
by maybe
I don't remember I don't remember but I
read it and I audibly went ugh at the
end of the book
like audibly was like oh
and when I when I reviewed it on
Goodreads that was my review
I audibly said uh at the End of This
Book highly recommend one star
and honestly that's the perfect
Goodreads review to me and I say that is
if we don't sit here and discuss a
single book for like two right hours
um
but it's an extended reaction video but
in a podcast
no on Goodreads I always try and leave
one sentence reviews yeah me too I'm
like it's I'm like that's all that needs
to be said that's all that needs to be
done you get a one sentence review two
if I'm feeling spicy sure but like
well then we also sit here and talk
about them for hours so it's a lot of
sentences and that's this one y'all
there are no Saints it's just buckle up
okay and if we're sensitive maybe don't
listen although if you're a sensitive
person you probably haven't made it past
like the first one because
blood play if you're a sensitive person
we're glad you're here we love you we
appreciate it is a safe space for you as
safe as we can make it while also making
it safe for everyone who is not a
sensitive person sure
so so this book has two points of view
um we start out with uh Cole Blackwell
classic character name in these books
um he's an artist he's at a show if you
heard that horse running across it was
actually my six pound partially hairless
cat
Craig's living his best life he is on
one today and I don't know what it is
I'm here for it I there he had no catnip
this is not
this is oh natural yeah this is just his
resting state and we love him for it we
really sorry if that's okay oh I wasn't
apologizing to you oh I just assumed
it was more than I forgot about our
audience sorry if it's distracting as
you're listening to this and you're like
what the [ __ ] is that sound in the
background just correct no Hannah's used
to it at this point I was not
apologizing to her I was like that's
fine okay so two points of views Cole
Blackwell yes he's an artist he's at a
show
what kind of like an art show like a a
gallery opening oh he's like that kind
of artist not like a musical no he is an
art artist he does
that was one of the dumbest things I've
ever said you know but it helped I got
it that way yeah he primarily does
sculpture and some painting
um and his rival Alistair Shaw is also
there showing pieces
um Cole is super haughty very annoyed
that Alistair is even talking to him he
exclusively calls him Shaw just to piss
him off you meant hottie
h-a-u I did not like he's a super hottie
no like he is super hotty not he is a
super hottie classic mix-up
so Cole is super annoyed by Shaw he's
like you are literally the worst you're
so [ __ ] stupid get away from me
um but he sees this girl
and he is like Ugh like literally not a
fan her she clearly bites her
fingernails she's like looking a little
unkempt she's like shoving food in her
mouth she's obviously a starving artist
like I am not into any of that
um but he's kind of watching her and
sees uh somebody get like dump wine all
over her white dress and he's like ah
she's gonna like run away now or cry or
freak out or whatever and the girl just
kind of looks at it and shrugs a little
bit grabs another glass of wine and goes
to the bathroom and comes out he's like
she must be trying to get the stain out
or something she comes out of the
bathroom and she's basically like
tie-dyed her dress and wine and
he's like
huh respect yeah he's like that's kind
of pretty actually
good job
um so Shaw sees him watching this girl
and starts to mock him for being
attracted to her and Cole is like you
literally don't know what you're talking
about why are you the most annoying
[ __ ] person on the [ __ ] planet
like I hate your face
but he doesn't say any of that he's very
like cold and reserved
it's very cold and reserved
oh good job
so
um sorry so Shaw is a serial killer
um
yeah
Shaw is a serial killer and so
apparently so maybe you shouldn't be
rude to him no but but Cole is gonna be
rude to him because Cole is also a
serial killer so they're aware of each
other but they don't get along
so serial killer artists in the same
Community yes and what are the odds so
Shaw's like do you see my my latest work
referring to a body that was found
recently really severely mutilated it
was really bad
um and Cole is like you are a hack
in everything you do you're the worst
um
calls like your art and your killings
are derivative basically yes like he he
literally calls him Ted Bundy he's like
can you not be original Ted Bundy why
are you like this
oh
um
yeah so Shaw exclusively kills women
Cole exclusively kills men
um and he knows that he's better than
Shaw and everything
um and always literally
um but this this show tonight is a
competition he knows that his piece is
better than Shaw's but he has made some
enemies in the art community so he winds
up losing
um to Shaw
so he's very annoyed but he also is like
I don't actually care I know that I'm
better than him and it doesn't matter so
the next day an article comes out from
the art critic that really doesn't like
him
um it basically just slamming his whole
piece and and praising Shaw and so he's
like
I think he's gonna die so he goes like
stalks him a little bit lures him back
to his Studio because no one has ever
been inside his studio
um he makes his own equipment it's all
very hush-hush and very secretive and so
um this art critic is like hell yeah I
want to see your your studio that sounds
oh not sure I was gonna die the art
critic he's gonna die the art critic's
gonna die so he goes and
Cole kills him and then he strips the
bones and decides to use them in his new
piece and so he strips the bones shapes
them a little bit dips them in gold and
makes
makes a statue an art installation out
of this guy's [ __ ] bones and then
shows it
that is ballsy on like that's like next
level and then he sells it for three
quarters of a million dollars and he has
this like sick satisfaction that it's
going to be
um displayed like in the lobby of a tech
firm he's like like
oh my God
I feel like that's the sort of thing
that like 10 years later there's like a
news art like a news headline that you
see that's like human remains found in
art installation uh whatever exactly
um so Shaw's really jealous
again Cole's like I don't care about you
so you can feel however you want just go
away
so then we cut to our female lead her
name is Mara Eldritch
um she's a tie-dye wine girl yes okay um
so she's a struggling artist
um she's working three jobs and she's
very stressed all the time very busy she
lives with seven other artists who are
also struggling in this like dilapidated
Victorian house in San Francisco that's
falling down
um but she loved her art and she's like
things are gonna get better I don't know
how
and I don't know in it like what sort of
fairy godmother is gonna happen to me
but things are going to get better I
just have to keep pushing so she
promises her roommate Aaron that she's
gonna go meet her at an art show
um she rushes over there she sees the
piece that Cole created with the bones
and she's really like taken by it she's
she thinks it's amazing
um
and then Shaw approaches her and starts
chatting her up but her roommate Aaron
uh had dibs
will [ __ ] anything that moves at these
parties and her roommate was like I feel
like it's my turn for that because yeah
so I'm gonna be making the move
so got the speed my friend so she slips
away when her roommate comes up and she
starts walking home
and all of a sudden she hears this sound
behind her and she turns around and she
just it's she says it's described as
like this Charging Bull basically like
coming at her
um and so she gets hit in the head like
taken down to the ground there's a hood
over her head and then she wakes up
um in a trunk naked bound and gagged and
with the hood over her head still and
she can't get out of the trunk she's
like trying to figure out a way out
nothing's working
um and a man finally comes around and
pulls her out of the trunk
um and just drops her on the ground so
she's like hogtied so her arms and legs
are like up behind her so she can't do
anything to protect her face or anything
um he doesn't recognize the voice
um but he's like telling her not to
struggle
um but she's like what the [ __ ] is
happening right now
and then
he um he pierces her nipples what yeah
so my notes say he pierces her nipples
dot dot dot the [ __ ] question mark
um
yeah so she's like naked in this like
BDSM
strappy leather but she's she's naked
and then he pierces her nipples and
slits her wrists and leaves her there in
the woods
so quick
yeah when you said hog tie it reminded
me of a story
what
why is it that whenever I say like I
have a question or this reminds me of
something you cringe no it's because
it's not that it's that I just described
this one being hogtied and having her
nipples pierced and her wristlet against
her will and so I'm like what sort of
story goes with that okay that is valid
when you say that that's what it is
the story is entirely based on the word
hog tie okay
when I used to work crisis
Nashville
we had police bring a woman in for an
assessment one night
and she went [ __ ] off like she like
went into the bathroom to give her like
UDS sample
um
like she's in there forever when they
walk in she's like shattered the tops of
like the toilet seat like taking the
toilet Lids off cracked him nice um
clogged the sinks with like a wet paper
towel like it's just like destroying
property left and right
foreign
so while we are working on hospitalizing
this woman because
she was not going to jail for this she
was not mentally well right she was
being hospitalized
um but she was still acting a fool and
so police are there they're assisting us
with like managing and maintaining her
um and it got to the point that like she
was hogtied in our lobby
like
while we are calling hospitals this
woman is hogtied in the lobby and the
overnight supervisor Keisha has no [ __ ]
to give I love this woman with every
fiber of my being like
she is a absolute queen and I just
remember this woman because I was like
out on a call I come in and I'm like
what the hell is going on this woman is
hogtied police are just like sitting
there cops are just hanging out right
this woman is like yelling to Keisha
who's like at her desk trying to call
hospitals and she's like Miss Keisha
can I have a snack
I think he's just like how are you gonna
eat a snack when your hands are tied
later she's like
Miss can I make a phone call she's like
how are you gonna make a phone call when
you're here
and so whenever I hear the word hog tie
I have this very Vivid mental image of
this woman who's being a long time
because we could like yeah and we had no
other action she was gonna hurt herself
she was gonna hurt us we're trying to
hospitalizer that's where we need like
the like a blow dart with Haldol okay
the number of times I recommended that
right I was like guys I will go get
trained I will take classes I will make
sure I do not hit you while you are
restraining them
they're like generous offers Chelsea I
don't know if our liability insurance
covers
blow dirt alcohol and I was like but it
should and it could have we asked I was
like we need a better plan
okay she was not with me so anyway
getting back into this like super dark
situation that's not nearly as fun as my
hog tie no it's super [ __ ] so she her
wrists are slit and she's tied up in the
woods
um
and the was she was she already wearing
the no the outfit they changed her into
that oh yeah she was wearing like a
little velvet dress okay that's gone and
she's wearing this leather thing okay
so we then switched to Cole's point of
view again he is dumping the rest of the
critic's body in an abandoned mine which
is one of his usual dumping grounds and
he has like a bleach and chemicals he
uses so nothing's ever going to be
traced back to him
um
he you know Cole's not worried about
getting caught he's very arrogant he's
like none of this matters I'm I'm
untouchable basically so he starts
walking back through the woods and he
sees a lump in the path and he's like
the [ __ ] is that
that is a girl who was not here when I
walked out here what the [ __ ] is that so
he realizes that
um Shaw left this girl
for him to find because he thought that
he was attracted to her before so Shaw's
whole thing is that he believes that
coal is just as impulsive and
um uh like uncontrolled as Shaw is
um and Cole is like I am that's not who
I am at all so this was was Shaw's
attempt to get him basically to
collaborate on a kill and like prove
that he's just as impulsive
um by using this girl that he just
happened to see Cole watching during
this party
so
Cole is poor girl someone poured wine
all over her dress she tie-dyes it and
makes them the most out of it and so
now she's the target for two serial
killers
it's not ideal it's not so
um she is clearly bleeding he sees her
in this BDSM get up
um he is livid that Shaw did this so
close to his Dumping Ground because he
realizes he can't use it anymore
um his the mind he was using was like
half a mile or or three quarters of a
mile away
um from where the girl is and he's like
well I can't [ __ ] use that anymore
[ __ ]
um so that's what he's upset about
and
um
so he he realizes what what Shaw is
doing so he's like so how do I the only
way to win here right so he thinks I'm
gonna finish killing her
or I could try to save her
but either way that is that's playing
his game the only way to win here is not
to play
so he leaves her there
he just
steps right over her and keeps walking
oh yeah so we're back to Mara
um so she knows that she's bleeding out
but she starts to hear footsteps
um and she's very clear that these
footsteps sound different than the
footsteps of the man who brought her out
the footsteps of the first guy were very
heavy and kind of lumbering and these
sound very like light and
um whatever fairy feet fairy feet sure
fluffy feet
um fluffy I don't know
um I feel like that's
never mind that's Happy Feet I was like
isn't that something to do with the
penguin like like the penguin movie yeah
that's something to do with the penguin
anyway
so
um she thinks that she is hallucinating
because she's like nobody else is out
here
I'm in the middle of nowhere
if it's not the guy who dumped me here
who the [ __ ] else is gonna be out here
um and then she sees the most beautiful
man ever on the face of the planet
standing over her and she's like oh my
God it's death he's here
hey
she's still gagged so it's not like she
can say anything
uh it was an internal hey basically
um and then he starts to step over her
and she is [ __ ] pissed and she's like
trying to scream around the gag like
getting him to come back and he just
like leaves her there
so she's like great that was 100 my last
chance of getting out of this [ __ ]
so what do I do here she realizes that
her arms are very like slick now because
of all the blood and so dare we say
slippery I almost said slippery I knew
you were trying not to and I just wanted
to be an [ __ ] well I appreciate that
it's what our friendship is founded on
it is so she gets out of the zip ties
um and is able to get the vines off her
feet as well and she has some trouble
standing she's lost a lot of blood but
she uses the duct tape that was over her
mouth to bind her arm that's bleeding
the worst she is very resourceful she's
very resourceful she's like I am not
[ __ ] dying out here
and so then she takes off through the
woods she's like this is not ideal I
don't even know where I'm going I don't
know if I'm going in the right direction
but this seems right so I'm just gonna
keep going and hope for the best and she
falls and she's like maybe I should just
[ __ ] stay here because this [ __ ]
sucks but then she hears her mom's voice
in her head calling her a little [ __ ]
and like all this other stuff and she's
like she's like you know what
um I'm not dying here I'm not doing it
I'm not [ __ ] doing it and so she
keeps going until she stumbles into a
road
and that's where that chapter ends so
we're back to Cole so he's been watching
the news for information about the girl
or the art critic but there's been
nothing so he decides to break into
Shaw's house because he can't go back to
the mine he wants to see if Shaw
disposed of the body there
um the girl's body but he's like I can't
go back there obviously so
um
he goes to Shaw's and just starts
rummaging through his stuff knowing full
well that there were cameras in there he
was like hey buddy like touching
everything like touching all of his
stuff like let's play yeah it's not your
game but let's play exactly so then he
pours himself a glass of wine and Shaw
comes into his own house and Cole is
like would you like some wine
some of your wine that I just took from
your [ __ ] stuff
um and so Shaw is like so what did you
do to the girl like before you died
yeah he's like tell me all about it like
what did you do before you dumped her in
the mine
um and Cole is like he doesn't know that
I left her there
so does that mean he didn't go back to
check or does that mean she was gone
when he went back to check that's a big
yikes but I can't ask him
so
um Shaw also very clearly has a pretty
significant hatred for women
um and he he did [ __ ]
uh Mara's roommate Aaron
um and stole her ID so he shows the ID
to Cole and he notices the address
um he is adamant that he didn't touch
the girl he's like I don't kill women
I didn't touch her
um and then he tells Shaw if they're
ever alone in the same room again
um only one will leave breathing he's
like I'm so [ __ ] done with you you're
just stupid and I hate you this feels
like it escalated it did yeah
this has been going on for years and we
find out more detail about that I think
actually in the second book
um I forgot to mention this is a duet
um so we find out more detail about the
Rivalry and how it escalates in the
second book
um so he decides he's gonna go to the
girl's house because he saw the
roommate's ID saw the address he decides
he's going to go to the house
and he watches as people start to leave
for the day and then
um wouldn't you know it the girl steps
out of the house and he is like
my notes say he's flummoxed
that's a good vocab word it is and he is
he is like what the [ __ ] is happening is
this a ghost right now
um and so he follows her to a cafe where
she's waiting tables like nothing
happened
she's just going about her brunt shift I
love her yeah she is living her best
life she didn't give a single [ __ ] she's
like okay she's like you know [ __ ]
happens here we are yep
back on that ground I got bills to pay
no didn't kill me so here we go
so
um
he knows that she saw his face but he
doesn't know if she saw Shaw's face so
he's like this
is a conundrum and he's super pissed
that he doesn't know how she survived
he's like how like she was lit half dead
there's no way she made it out of the
woods by herself who helped her I don't
understand
and then also he has this weird thought
that he wishes he had taken a photo of
her all tied up like that because he was
super into it but he's starting to lose
the details now
and I'm not going to give you poor baby
the description because he's gets very
descriptive of that and it's not my
favorite thing
um so we're back tomorrow
this is I guess a few days previous she
wakes up in a hospital bed
um strapped down they think that she
tried to kill herself
and she's like are you [ __ ] stupid do
you not see the the marks on my wrists
and on my ankles do you not see that he
pierced my [ __ ] nipples like are you
kidding me right now and they're like
um
nah
you've got some old self-harm scars so
did the guy do that too and she's like
uh obviously not
um and the the cops like you into some
kinky sex stuff went a little too far
and she's like well he slipped my wrist
and left me to bleed out in the woods so
yes I would say things went too far
officer like she is not pleased
um
so she doesn't tell them about the angel
of death hallucination she had because
she figures they already think she's
insane and she doesn't want to make it
worse so she's released after four days
um and she only tells one of her
roommates if she tells Aaron what
happened but she doesn't tell anybody
else
um she doesn't she says she doesn't want
to talk about it anymore she's like I
can't do this Aaron I don't I I don't
want to say anymore but
tell me about what happened with you and
Shaw
and Aaron is like oh yeah we hooked up
but I haven't heard from him
um and Mara's like I'm sure we'll see
him again soon because they they're all
in the art scene so it's a very small
sort of insular Community
um
so and solar is also a good book I'm
really killing it today
with my vocab maybe not with the rest
but you're like
much like these serial killers
[Music]
you're bringing good vocab words I'm
bringing bad puns and diapers I'm
appreciating it I mean it's a good
balance
so even though she is like
showing up to work and she's just like
doing her thing
she's not doing great she's having a lot
of nightmares
um and some general hyper vigilance
clearly some acute stress disorder
um that needs treatment so it doesn't
become post-traumatic stress disorder
but she doesn't have any money or health
insurance I love that you clarified that
for everyone thank you yeah
um and so after a few weeks things start
seem to be getting better
um she got her waitressing job her
bartending job and her job
um
uh walking dogs she got all of her jobs
back
and her roommates help her out with
money because she couldn't work for like
a week
um and so she is still having all of
these really really bad nightmares but
it's getting easier for her to fake it
during the day
um
so we switched to Cole's point of view
um he is stalking Mara online now
um she's not into like self-promotion
she doesn't
um like post a lot of like long rambling
things about herself
um but a lot of her friends use her as a
model
um that's like a common thing for
artists to do for each other and so he
finds lots of lots and lots of photos of
her
um but doesn't really get to know her
too well there
and then he sees that she posted about
needing Studio space and he's like
I think I may have a plan
yeah hey
what
that was all it was just that smell
just that sound I think I had more
thoughts and then I think they
what I went with was better
encapsulating all of those thoughts
that's fair yeah
um so
he like in this chapter and in his
internal thoughts he's think he Compares
himself to a god he's like I control
everything in my world
um
and but he says um
you know I'm a God but even Zeus was
fascinated by Mortals occasionally so
he's like becoming obsessed with this
girl but he's comparing himself to Zeus
it's just weird
um so what cluster B diagnoses are we
going with for him anti-social buddy
yeah and a little narcissist with some
narcissistic traits for sure yeah so he
then breaks into her room when he knows
that she's out walking dogs and it's
gonna be a few hours before she gets
back and he finds her sketches
everywhere
um and
um he's really intrigued by all the
talent that he sees he just starts kind
of rummaging through her stuff sees you
know she's reading Dracula
um
and he lays in her bed and really likes
her scent
and then he is like getting off on the
idea that maybe when she lays down next
time she'll smell him and either be
afraid or also turned on and then he
finds
he finds what he assumes are panties
from the night before on the floor
and so if I see masturbate into them
yeah he smells them and then he
masturbates into them
um and
he also licks them it's really cringy
it's just
it's it is what it is so then he just
drops them back on the floor
he's like I'm just gonna leave these
here
and so he's looking around her room she
lives in the Attic of this house and he
realizes that the house behind hers has
a window that looks directly into her
room and he's like I am going to go call
my real estate agent
foreign so we're back tomorrow
she's late for a date with a guy she's
been seeing on and off for a couple of
months and she doesn't really like him
very much at all but she's like whenever
like he fills the time it's convenient
enough so she's rushing around to get
dressed she finds she grabs the
underwear off the floor and then she
realizes that they're wet and she's like
am I did I just start my period
and then she's like oh my god what the
[ __ ] is that and so she starts to like
freak out a little bit and then she
starts to try to rationalize like maybe
maybe it's something else maybe one of
my roommate's friends got up here or
something
um but
she can't tell if if anybody's been in
the room otherwise
so then she just leaves without
underwear on she's like whatever I only
own one pair well so she hasn't done
laundry in a really long time and that
becomes relevant later
so she goes without underwear she meets
her date he is a dick but she just rolls
with it she's like I honestly don't even
care if you're gonna buy me dinner I
don't even give a [ __ ]
um and we've all been there amen did I
ever tell you about my cousin who
when she was single and was dating and
was very much on a tight budget she used
to strategically plan
her tindered fumble whatever app
matching dates to be every other night
and then she would make sure she brought
home her leftovers
that's brilliant for the off night yeah
so she's like I never have to buy myself
dinner
and I was like work it you know good for
you girl that's a great plan yeah it's a
hello strategy
um
so he didn't even notice that she was
missing for five days
um because they really only get together
like once a week or so
um he touches her ear
um when he's trying to push her hair
behind her ear and she flips the [ __ ]
out she hates having her ears touched
and she like has told him that multiple
times
um and then he's a real [ __ ] about it
but then he apologizes later
um and touches her thigh and he's like
is this okay and she's thinking this is
the first time someone's really touched
me since someone tried to kill me this
is we're gonna see how this goes
so
um he asks her if it's okay when he
touches her thigh and she just kind of
nods or whatever
um
she just Smiles through it and he keeps
going until he realizes she's not
wearing any underwear and he thinks that
she did that for him and starts like
playing with her under the under the
table and doesn't seem to notice that
she is like quietly losing her [ __ ]
so she finally fully Freaks and says she
has to leave and he's real pissy about
it but she really doesn't care so she
gets home and pulls her mattress out of
her bedroom onto her balcony
um to sleep because it's too hot in her
room so she just kind of lays down and
decides she's gonna put on some music
and just finish the night
um back to Cole
I know
tell me
you look flummoxed
you know I was thinking like
I don't know what I was thinking
actually
I have a lot of thoughts and that's how
I felt reading this whole book like the
entire well the duet the whole time
reading it I had a lot of thoughts
okay so she pulls her mattress out to
her balcony yep okay now we're at Cole's
point of view okay so he finds that the
house behind Mara's is on Airbnb and
convinces the guy to cancel all of his
guests for the rest of the month and
pays for the month to to rent the house
um so
here is a dick
and he's like I don't understand why
this girl fought so hard to survive her
life is absolute garbage like look at it
none of it's good
um
and so then he goes and sets up like a
a what's that a telescope what's the
thing called
um I just want everyone to know Hannah
trying to figure out the word for
telescope and the hand motions
accompanying them it was she was it was
very much like a shake weight motion
um it was
thank you for sharing are Shake Weights
still a thing I don't know
I wonder if they were discontinued or if
they haven't bought them
a lot of people did they buy them to use
them or buy them as gag gifts is
probably their real question here that's
fair
but a lot of people did indeed I'm
there was a season there was yeah
well yeah I feel like they were in like
an SNL skit or something sure yeah so
yeah
for everything a season
yes
including literally just thinking that
okay
um
so he sets up a telescope
um and watches her put the panties on it
he came in and he is super turned on by
that and decides to follow her on this
date that she's on and watches her date
and is very confused by his reaction
um he's never felt jealousy before and
so he's like what is this wait I'm
confused because she didn't put the
underwear on or she put them on and then
she realized they were wet and then she
took them off so he watches that he's
watching the whole thing and he gets
turned on by how freaked out she is
um he does not understand jealousy but
he is pretty sure that's what he's
feeling he's like the [ __ ]
um so then he is super pleased when she
leaves
um so he follows her home watches her
pull her mattress outside
um and rain starts falling and he
expects that she's gonna like jump up
and pull her mattress back inside
but instead
um she gets naked and he watches her lay
on her mattress outside naked in the
rain
um listening to music
um and he reads her lips because she's
like singing along to the song and
Googles it so he can also listen to the
same song and then she starts touching
herself so he does too obviously
um and he doesn't understand why he is
so freaking fascinated by her this isn't
so unsettling yeah it's not gonna get
better
so she's freaking out about Studio space
the studio space that she was using she
can't use anymore but then she gets this
uh email from someone that she doesn't
know offering her this really incredible
deal
and she's like honestly I probably did
apply for this like young artist Grant
or whatever but and I just don't
remember because she was so frantically
looking for space
um and then you know she somebody tried
to kill her so she's had a lot going on
yeah so wait around justifies justify a
girl exactly so she's super excited and
goes the place is perfect there's no
deposit it's very affordable gorgeous
wonderful light all these great things
and she's like
you know what maybe this is my good
thing for all the [ __ ] I've been going
through like maybe things are finally
looking up this is pretty amazing
um and she's told that there is also a
um Grant available
um from the artist Guild and
um
that she is eligible for and she's
really really excited it's a lot of
pressure so she she's working on a
collage or something when the guild
members show up
um and they're coming to like view her
piece to decide if she's going to be in
this special show and get this grant
whatever
um and she recognizes Cole as the man
who left her to die who is apparently on
the board for the guild oh plot twist
um so she is flipping the [ __ ] out
um
she knows she can't start screaming
at him right now so she's like the [ __ ]
do I do
um I'm really not trying to look like a
crazy person so she very is struggling
through her interview with the board and
then
um she Cole just stares at her the whole
time so then they all file out and then
finally she snaps and chases him out of
the room
so coal is ecstatic at how freaked out
Mara is he is loving her discomfort and
um is glad that he has cameras in her
studio so he can watch it back for
himself later to watch how freaked out
she is yeah it gets worse so
um she comes out and I don't know how to
feel about the fact that like every
single time I'm like holy [ __ ] you're
like it's not gonna get better and then
I'm like [ __ ] hell and you're like it
gets worse like every single thing that
I'm like oh you're like I know right
Buckle in like reading this I was like
am I doing like why am I doing this but
I just kept reading and I Can't Tell You
Why actually I can't tell you why that's
a lie so I was doing a a virtual
training
and so I was sitting at home all day
wait was this when you did your virtual
ethics training no no
this was a different training and I
didn't have to have my camera on and so
I was like what am I gonna read so this
is a book that I chose randomly to read
during this training that I just had on
in the background and I was like
what's happening
and I couldn't stop it I don't know I
can't explain it to you but I did it and
now you're gonna experience it also
um you know what I do appreciate is that
it's like I read it so you don't have to
this really is that that is
this is definitely that well and here's
the thing I feel like I read a Sophie
Lark book
maybe I'm getting my authors confused
she has some other stuff that's really
actually pretty good
yes I just read that one yes I read
brutal Prince
and it was fine but I also think it was
forgettable because I just as as you
just heard I went
was that the name and earlier you you
heard me be like so the wall of Winnipeg
and me hands down wait for it let me
tell you about all the characters and
how they love each other and how they
all interact and how adorable it is and
how much I love it all yeah and this one
I'm like
I'm like 80 confident that wasn't like
yeah I could not tell you what that book
was about nor am I asking to be I mean I
could tell you but you don't want to
know it doesn't matter yeah like I read
it and I already
forgot it this is a book that I will
remember but not fondly
fair enough okay so he's really excited
um has cameras in the studio so he can
watch the playback of her losing her
[ __ ] yes okay so he agrees to talk with
her when she comes out and just she's
like can I speak with you Mr Blackwell
so then as soon as they get into an
empty Studio she's like accuses him of
kidnapping her
um and cutting her and he's like what
are you talking about
that wasn't me
um and he realizes that she does not
know
who did it
um so she didn't see Shaw's face
um but he knows that she that he
realizes that she knows that Cole was in
the woods but she doesn't know who
actually kidnapped her this question
does not matter at all but it's just for
my own understanding not even my own
understanding I understand plenty
we wish we could understand
Haw his name is Aleister Shaw
which is a weird name so Hannah and I
used to work for the same company and we
had a co-worker whose first name was
shot
we adore Shaw
I he will probably never listen to this
podcast
probably not if he randomly hears this I
would absolutely crack up
um but like we love him and whenever I
think of Shaw I think of
our friend Shaw not a weird serial
killer
like
Shaw's from Pakistan like
every time you'd see him like his hair
would be different he had this he has
this like incredible mustache that like
he can grow overnight so like I swear
we'd be like see him one day on like a
work meeting link and he'd have no
facial hair and the next day I'm like
where the hell did that full ass
beautiful mustache come from my guy yeah
and so
every time you say shop I think of our
speak of our shop our mustache Shaw our
mustachioed friend who like we always
also used to laugh when we were working
because we would be on links like when
we were all like peers on the same level
and Shaw would be wearing like a
sweatshirt or his like shirt would be
like unbuttoned like a couple like not
like weirdly just like yeah and then
whenever we had a meeting with our boss
like we'd like literally be like okay
we're getting off of this Google meet
link to hop onto this Google meet link
and we hop on and shot a shirt it's like
fully buttoned all the way up top so we
started calling it top button we're like
oh we're like we're top button
professional
that's the the quick turnaround is you
just do all the buttons and so this is
what I'm thinking about and now we're
professional with our mustache well
nothing professional is going on between
Cole and Mara
um can we keep talking about our shot I
think she's like I don't want to hear it
anymore I think I might like that better
I'm sure that you would but we're we're
in it now so
um she threatens to go to the cops and
he's like you're just gonna look more
insane and you're gonna lose your studio
space and any chance at this grant is
that really what you want to do you want
to kill your kill your career is that
what you want
um and so uh he
she pulls up her shirt sleeve and shows
the scar from where her wrist was cut
um and she is like
um
uh he points out the the scars from her
self-harm and he is he he says that she
is a walking Beacon for predators
um
and said she probably had an alcoholic
father who never loved her
um and she's like actually that was an
alcoholic mother and a shitty stepfather
thank you for playing
and um
uh he she continues to threaten there's
like this whole exchange and he's like
go ahead honey no one will believe you
you go do whatever you want
um so he she asks she's like why are you
doing this to me like I don't understand
why would you offer me studio space why
are you doing this and he's like because
I want to
so we're back to Mara's point of view
she is losing her ever loving [ __ ] she's
like smacking herself in the face like
trying to like calm down and she doesn't
know she she doesn't know what's real
she's like maybe I saw his face at a
party and I really did hallucinate him
in the woods and then she's like no no
he was there I know that he was there he
was trust your gut here Queen where are
our instincts
um so then she starts thinking about all
of the emotional and verbal abuse that
she suffered from her mother as a child
and she is like no I am not she she has
like urges to self-harm and she's like
nope I don't do that anymore and so she
goes Ham on this canvas and just starts
painting like mad and it's her basically
a self-portrait of her bound and gagged
and bleeding
um and uh she's basically in a days and
paints all night
so Cole is watching all of this so he's
watching her in her studio
um his assistant comes in and he's like
yeah Mara won the Grant and she's like
don't you need to talk to the rest of
the guild and he's like no I do not Mara
one thank you and
um
there's a random reference that he had a
really shitty father but a very very
wealthy family
um he doesn't understand why he's so
excited he's just he really doesn't he
he can't comprehend human emotion
um so he just watches her paint all
night
so then in the mara in the morning Mara
is cleaning up and
um starts to walk out for her brunch
shift
and
um she sees that there's a camera in her
Studio she's like
she's like
um yeah she's gonna spray paint them I
don't like that
so
um she
is she gonna spray paint them no no but
she runs into Cole's assistant
um whose name I think is Sonia I
literally could not bring myself to give
any shits about his assistant's name but
um she tells Mara that she got the grant
gives her the check for two thousand
dollars Mars like oh my God you're my
fairy Godmother you're amazing
um so does more connect the dots on why
she got the grant no she's even more
confused so she goes home she tells her
roommates about the money
um but decides not to tell them that
Cole was there the night she was
attacked
um and she uh they're like so why is he
helping you are you are you banging him
and she's like no I don't I really don't
know why I don't know I don't know she's
like but I do know
so then Cole shows up at the restaurant
where she works
um and waits for her shift to end
um demanding to eat with her
um she is furious and very very
skeptical about what's going on rightly
so her boss is shipping them from the
jump he is like look at this handsome
man he is here for you we love to see it
this is great and he is basically a
father figure to her and she's like can
you please shut the [ __ ] up right now
Arthur like can you not
um Arthur is not picking up the The
Vibes though so I had a boss not I mean
obviously it wasn't a serial killer
situation but I had a boss who like
never quite picked up the vibe but was
very much like
Father Figure situation when I was like
living in Texas and my parents were not
living in Texas and I was younger and
like I was in like holidays with him and
his family like kind of energy and I
told him I was like casually dating or
like casually talking this dude once
he added him on Facebook
and then I'd have a whole ass
conversation with this kid where he's
like
so I think we might be in different
places oh and I was like what are you
talking about he's like well like you're
like your boss is adding me on Facebook
and I was like
he what I was like
well we need to have a conversation
about I was like not you and me have a
conversation about that me and my boss
have a conversation about that because I
I told him I was casually talking to
someone and he did not read that Vibe
correctly that
he should add you on
social media we're now in a very awkward
place yes yeah yeah a lot I mean the
dude's not my husband that's not the way
that I'm marrying but still damn okay so
so
um they eat together he says that he
wants her to be his Protege and she's
like does that are you are you asking me
to have sex with you like I don't
understand what's happening right now
and he's like do I look like a man who
needs to bribe women for sex honey like
no that's not what this is and he says
that he'll be her mentor and she'll do
everything he says
um he says that he wants to know
everything about her so they're still
eating they're hanging out I guess
um she explains that her father died and
they didn't have much money so food was
very scarce that's why she eats the way
that she does like he he's like struck
with how much passion she has for food
um so then she says her mother remarried
um mom is a parasite dad stepdad's a
psycho she hasn't spoken to either of
them in several years
um when I think of eating with gusto I
think of friends when
Rachel
is talking to Ross about how quickly he
eats and he's like I grew up with Monica
if you didn't eat fast you didn't eat at
all
yeah that's basically what's happening
okay
um so she doesn't know
um
how he got so much information out of
her she's kind of freaked out by that
um but she felt like he just listened
like he didn't judge or ask questions or
say like oh it's gonna be okay or oh but
that's your mom he just listened
um so then she's like I'm just gonna go
back to painting because I don't know
what the [ __ ] is happening in my life
right now so I've had enough of it so
Kohl's Mara Obsession continues
um he goes to her studio
um and she is really really mad and he
goes her asking if she wants to hurt him
and um she says no the evil men always
try to make you break as bad as them
but first
do you like us maybe even love us cause
we sure love you
and if you do love us don't tease us now
listen those ratings and reviews
wherever you're listening right now
maybe even send us over to a special
sexy someone that would enjoy getting
smutty with us
[Music]
first rule of smug Club is to talk about
SMUD Club
all right I won't keep you any longer
let's get back to the show
[Music]
okay
I feel like I missed something and
honestly I don't know if I care that I
missed it because I feel like they just
had like a nice dinner and she was like
oh look at him listening well so he
comes into her studio and tries to touch
her paint like he tries to touch her
painting and like make changes to it I
didn't explain that very well and she's
like don't [ __ ] touch my [ __ ] she's
like don't touch my [ __ ] no that would
be super offensive I get it now yeah
yeah so he
um
realizes that she still thinks it was
him that kidnapped her and slit her
wrist and yet she's alone in a room
standing up to him and so this is a
direct quote she's more Twisted than I
ever dared dream
he's like look at how [ __ ] up she is I
can't believe how into that I am
so lucky am I right
so she decides to
um walk to the show for her new painting
rather than riding with Cole like he
demanded and he sent her a dress she's
like not wearing it she's like I'm just
not doing this I'm not playing this game
with you
so
um she uh wants her painting to be the
centerpiece she's like I'm not showing
up on Cole's arm and have everybody
distracted by him showing up with a
woman for the first time ever my
painting needs to be the thing that's
the most important here
um so she realizes she's getting to know
him and all of the different masks that
he wears to charm people and get what he
wants and she wonders if maybe he uses a
mask with her too
um like the coldness and all that maybe
that's a mask
and her painting was basically a
self-portrait of a woman restrained and
shot through
um with arrows and knives and um like
her head is caved in it's a very it's a
very violent art
um and she called it the mercy of men I
was like that is really [ __ ] dark
so
I apologize to everyone who's listening
um because I feel like what you you
aren't getting from us and what you
aren't getting from me
is all of my facial expressions there's
so many there's so many and I really
feel like my facial expressions are
their own Journey here
but like I so instead I'm just like
sitting in silence making a lot of faces
that's okay it's okay I understand I
really do
um I really do uh so we're back to
Cole's point of view he is livid that
she didn't wait for him like absolutely
[ __ ] raging
um he shows up and
um
he's concerned that Shaw is going to
show up at the show and realize that
she's alive because he doesn't think
Shaw knows yet so he
um he just wants to be with her all the
time like watching from afar isn't
enough anymore fully a man obsessed at
this point yeah so he gets to the
gallery storms up to her to confront her
and
um she turns to him and said says I
missed you too sweetheart and just
kisses him full-on on the mouth
he's like who the [ __ ] do you think you
are not listening to me when I tell you
to do some [ __ ] and she's like miss you
too babe and they make out
so he kisses her back so hard she bleeds
um and they work the room it's the whole
thing she pulls him into a an empty
office because she is so turned on
in the moment
so she decides to give him a BJ but then
it turns out the office wasn't empty so
there is somebody in there and Cole
offers for Mara to suck off this random
guy
first
as an appetizer
um
yeah is is the appetizer freezing yours
or Sophia Larks or Sophie Larks not
Sophia Sophie larks
I don't think that's exactly like
verbatim I can't remember if you caught
it a warm-up or an appetizer but it was
something like exactly
it was something like that
um so Mara is she gets up off the floor
and she's like you know what I was
genuinely attracted to you but you don't
own me so we're done here yes I feel
like
I can't keep like I'm not rooting for
him no but I feel like all of like
they're like these moments I'm like you
just keep shooting yourself at the foot
my guy like is this close yeah that's
close so she walks out and grabs a
tattoo artist who's like a friend of a
friend that she's met before that
actually did a tattoo she has on her
ribs
um and she's like you're coming with me
and pulls him out so Cole
has once again livid when he sees Maro
leaving with another guy
um he gets caught up talking to someone
but then the motion sensors go off in
her
um studio and he's like oh thank God she
ditched the guy she went back to work
this is great but he pulls up the feed
because he wants to see her and sees
that she brought the guy with her to her
studio and so
um
she starts blowing him they have some
super like super intense [ __ ] session
they get covered in paint like they
knock paint over on the floor they knock
paint over everywhere and then they wind
up on a blank canvas [ __ ] and
um and she sells it for a quarter of a
million dollars not quite so coal is
furious and also turned on
um and but then he sees Mara like turn
and look up at the camera and so he's
like oh she knows God damn it like he's
like she's just [ __ ] up his eyes she
did all of this on purpose so I would
watch
um and that is exactly he decides she's
even more eventual and [ __ ] up and
perfect than he thought
so he jerks it and then he's like you
know what no more of this the next time
I come it will be on Mara's face
I'm not not inside her on her [ __ ]
face on her face
um so one of my co-workers
my Segways are fantastic they're on
point today
one of my co-workers recently did a
presentation on like considerations and
Sex Therapy
and one of the things that she was
talking about was
porn and expectations created through
porn and like fantasy right and how she
had a counseling client who was like
yeah I'm gonna can't wait to come on my
girlfriend's face
and she was like has she consented to
that and he's like they love it in porn
and she was like yeah so
maybe she doesn't watch the same porn as
you bro like has she consented to that
he's like no but they always love it
like what like and he like truly didn't
understand and to be fair I don't think
Cole
yeah he doesn't care he doesn't have a
moral compass but that's what I
thought of consent does not matter to
Cole he doesn't care at all not even a
little bit it matters to me and to me
so the next morning he gets to this the
office
um in his in the studio super early and
he smells Mara in the room and he finds
that she hung the canvas she [ __ ] on
in his office like took down the art
that he had hanging and hung that [ __ ]
above his desk
um
kind of the ultimate power right
so
he is
thrilled by how seriously by how
spiteful she is like he's excited about
it and then he has a moment where he
sits and thinks about it and he's like
getting excited about how he's gonna
punish her and then he sees she titled
it best night of my life and he's like
instant regret Like That Could Have Been
Me like
and I'm an [ __ ] yeah yeah and so now
it's not
so he then smashes he loses his absolute
[ __ ] he is like focused on her
submitting like he was cruel hoping that
she would submit but she didn't so he's
like obviously cruelty is not working
for me he loses his [ __ ] destroys a
Priceless work of art
um with a golf club
um and this is a direct quote from the
end of that chapter he says um I loved
that piece but sometimes you have to
kill what you love
so I find
you and I pull very different direct
quotes when we're outlining books like
I'm I'm pulling like
I'm gonna come on your face you dirty
little [ __ ] [ __ ] like you you little like
like
I was like he sucked her [ __ ] like a
nipple for milk like these are the
quotes and then I feel like I'm like
here's seem oddly poetic well that one
just stood out to me I don't know why
but anyway you know like I mean it it
was like the first time where we're like
oh he might actually kill her because up
to this point he's been like obsessed
with her there hasn't been any violence
from him towards her yours feels like
do you have your um Kindle set where it
will show you like what like the common
underlines that like other people do so
it'll be like 208 people have underlined
this passage like that feels like a
quote that like a lot of people would
underline yeah I think I just pull
quotes and I'm like because this [ __ ]
and and you're like this one really
stood out to me
I'm like it did I'm like well yeah that
tracks so then
um Mara we're back tomorrow she feels
guilty that she used tattoo guy
um and also really nervous about what
Cole is gonna do because she realizes
he's gonna retaliate so the next morning
um she finds out that another body was
found
um seriously mutilated with a tattoo in
the same place as Mara's
um and her head was missing like they
have the same body type it she really
starts to freak out and then she
realizes that the body was found about
an hour after Mara left the party with a
tattoo artist so she's like oh [ __ ] like
did he do that while I was [ __ ] this
other guy
um and so then she throws up
um I mean I get it
yeah
um so we're back to Cole he finds out
about the new body but he just misses it
because it's Shaw's work and it's trash
um and so uh his feelings are so
derivative so derivative
um so she's not at home she's not at
work
um and he decides he's gonna put a
tracker on her phone because he can't
find her and so then he goes to the uh
to her social media finds tattoo guy and
goes and finds tattoo guy and confronts
him
and the guy is like listen man I didn't
know she had a boyfriend and Cole is
like
um I am not a [ __ ] boyfriend she's my
goddamn property you will not ever touch
her again
and tattoo guys like I don't even have
her number bro she wouldn't give me her
number like
I did a tattoo for her one time can you
please stop and Cole is like I just
thought I was having some good sex he's
like literally like I just thought it
was hot man what the [ __ ]
so Cole is like go get your tattoo gun
right the [ __ ] now and the guy's like
okay oh I'm sorry yeah you won't like
this so we switched tomorrow's point of
view she's in her Studio late at night
she knows she can't hide from Cole so
she's just like he's never gonna cool
off like it's not like if I give him a
couple days he's gonna be fine so I'm
just gonna we're just gonna go with it
um so she's painting her next piece in
her series that she's doing and it's the
devil
um Cole shows up scares the absolute
[ __ ] out of her and handcuffs her to a
beam
um and then pulls out a tattoo gun and
says that she can't have another man's
mark on her body
um because she belongs to him so he
starts tattooing her ribs
which he exposed along with her tits as
he ripped her [ __ ] shirt off
and so she freezes like she had been
struggling really hard but as soon as he
like put the needle on her skin she
froze and
um then
he starts playing with her [ __ ] and
[ __ ] and she is really trying not to be
into it but she really really is and he
demands that she admit that she belongs
to him and she will not do it
um so she comes super hard as he's
finishing covering up the snake with a
bunch of flowers
um so the snake is like peeking through
let's see also a skill tattoo artist
apparently yeah that was another reason
I couldn't get there with this book so
yes that's why the lack of realism
you're like how would it how would this
tattoo be rated on Ink Master exactly
um so the snake is still peeking through
in some spots whatever so then he
releases her and demands that she tattoo
him and he she's like no I'm not a
tattoo artist what the [ __ ] and he is
like I literally don't care what you
want you will do what I say right now
and so she does she tattoos two snakes
coiled around each other on his back one
black one white
um
yeah so then the next morning
I don't know tattoos
they really are apparently they took
several hours which of course they would
if they were done well
um which I doubt yeah I I accept highly
doubt that if you don't know how to
tattoo but you're like going the right
depth right and we're free handing all
of this on skin skin is not the same as
paper or canvas it's very different
but whatever so it's morning Cole's
point of view
Cole asked him to walk with her
um he is just fascinated by how she sees
Beauty everywhere
um and she starts talking about how her
um it comes up organically but it
doesn't matter her stepdad used to make
her stand with her nose against a wall
for hours and if she moved the hour
would start over and so he would leave
her there for hours and hours and hours
um and Cole feels
something he feels like really angry
about that and he doesn't understand
um
they're back they walk back to the
studio they keep talking about their
parents Mars mom's a monster Cole's dad
also a monster
um
and if you tell me they realize they're
siblings I will get up and walk out
right now no I was no no no
no no no no no no we're not that far we
don't go that far
um so Cole like doesn't believe in love
they're doing all this other stuff
um she goes to leave he's like where are
you going we're having this this
conversation and she's like I have to go
to work I'm going to a bartending shift
and so he's like great I'll come with
you and so he sits in the corner and
watches her 10 bar all night and then um
some guys start hassling her and one
smacks her ass and so Cole beats the
ever loving [ __ ] out of everybody starts
slicing people up with a broken bottle
and she's like so we gotta go like we
gotta get the [ __ ] out of here so she
pulls him out
um and she realizes that she probably
just lost her job and she is really mad
she needed that money and Cole is like
you don't need that money your painting
just sold for twenty two thousand
dollars so no you don't need the money
um so then he tells her to come to a
Halloween party with him and
um she's like is this like a date and
he's like no and she goes okay
well I'm gonna be Medusa
for Halloween so I guess I'll see you
there
okay so
um it's all a mess Cole is then cleaning
up his Studio like his private Studio
not the public one where he runs other
space
um and he thinks about bringing Mara
there
um he drags a table to the center and
like imagines laying her out on it and
thinking of all the tools that he'll
need and he's like I'm gonna have to get
all new everything because and I'm gonna
have to design some special tools for
her because no common drills and saws
are gonna be enough for my angel or
whatever the [ __ ]
um it's gross and weird and creepy
so they go to the party
coal dresses as a Greek warrior who's
turned to stone so he like to go with
Medusa and they dance and make out she's
ready to bang him
um and they go to leave the party and
Shaw shows up and sees her
um I was wondering when he was gonna
return yeah and he gets really weirdly
excited so she doesn't know that Cole is
the one or that Shaw is the one that
kidnapped her so he's like getting
really weird and she does not understand
that
um and Cole says she means nothing to me
um tell Shaw to stay away from her she
she's Furious
um and he's like you he you don't
understand he's dangerous like Don't Go
Near him and she's like like you're
dangerous
and Cole is like listen Okay Shaw does
what I do badly okay so yes like me and
so Mara realizes that he could kill her
at any time like whenever the [ __ ] he
wants but he just walks away and leaves
her on the street
um so he continues to watch her
um and then he sees a figure under her
window
um outside her apartment and is like oh
[ __ ] I bet that Shaw follows him Shaw
winds up luring him into an abandoned
building where he finds a woman dead
strung up with snakes and stuff in her
hair to look like Medusa
um and then as
Cole is walking around he hears the cops
show up and he's like great love this
journey for me so he realizes Shaw lured
him to this building with a fresh kill
called the cops so he runs
um and
um he makes it home and realizes that
killing Shaw is going to be a really big
challenge
um and that Shaw's only goal will be to
kill Mara and so Cole's like well I
can't protect Mara and kill Shaw that
shit's not gonna work
um so he decides that Mara belongs to
him and so does her death so Shaw
doesn't get to kill her he's gonna kill
her
um so then I I feel like that that might
be faulty logic a little bit yeah
so Mara is at a laundromat finally doing
laundry for the first time in like two
months and
um things are finally starting to fall
into place she realizes that Cole's been
stalking her
um she realizes that he's also watching
out for Shaw
um figures out the whole scheme about
Shaw kidnapped her left her for coal
because he had
said to her you were given to me at one
point when she says like I'm not yours
I'm not yours he's like you were
literally given to me you are mine
so then Cole shows up at the laundromat
and um fingers her against a dryer
um telling her that it's time for her to
come home to to him and she says no that
she wants to see his Studio he's like
fine you just have to be [ __ ]
difficult whatever yes find the studio
tomorrow night
so he is ready for Mara
um we're back to his point of view
um he
Mara shows up and he tells her that he
hasn't made anything since his last
piece but he's starting something new
and she's going to help him it's a lot
of like like alluding to the fact that
he's gonna kill her tonight
so
um
she follows him through to the main
Studio he shows her some other stuff
um and he she sees the table set out
with all of these apparent [ __ ]
torture devices and he she tells him
that she knows that Shaw left her for
him to find
um tells him that she doesn't believe
that he'll hurt her
um and he's like how much do you believe
that are you willing to bet your life on
it and she's like yup and gets naked and
gets onto the table voluntarily and Cole
is like I have to admit I was not
expecting that
so she's trying not to panic he tells
her that he knows everything about her
and that he watched the video of her
[ __ ] that guy over and over and over
and over and over again to learn what
she likes
um I made a special vibrator to mimic
the dryer from the laundromat
so she has some super intense orgasms
he is all so he's like an artist like a
sculpture wrist a Sculptor
there we go
he's a sculptor tattoo artist an
engineer
he's mechanical engineer apparently yeah
ends up he's a talents are multinational
so I have a lot of detail about this sex
scene because it is so [ __ ]
um there's a lot happening
um he flips her over and starts spanking
her at one point after she's had a bunch
of orgasms with the dryer vibrator
um and she told him like I don't like
that don't do it and he continues to do
it
she reveals her stepdad used to do that
to her a lot and then he starts being
super sweet
um and like trying to care for her a
little bit and then just straight up
[ __ ] her ass without warning
um it's just so much like this it goes
on and on and on so finally she realizes
that she's not tied down anymore that he
like laid down beside her and released
her wrists and so then
um she gets on top for a little bit
um brings his hands up to her neck to
squeeze and then she blacks out and
she's like if this is how I die I feel
like I'm cool with it no so
coal washes her up and he just has this
overwhelming desire to care for her and
like whatever he feeds her they put on
Labyrinth
[Laughter]
I'm sorry oh my God I don't know why
that that's the part that is
yeah yeah
yeah
that actually becomes relevant in the
second book like I didn't have the
detail
when I outlined it at first but then I
was like oh if we do the second book
you'll you'll want to know Hannah about
Labyrinth Anna don't tell me
do we have to do this we absolutely
don't we absolutely do not have to do
the second book it's gonna say
who hurt you and why do you hurt me by
making Sophie Lark hurt me
Sophie Lark hurt me
Labyrinth
yeah okay so he doesn't know when he
decided not to kill her but he's like
I don't I don't want to like I want to
keep her around for a long time
so
now we're at Mara's point of view coal
drops her off the next morning and she
kind of stumbles up to her room it's
locked from the inside which is really
weird but she's able to like Jimmy it
open
inside she finds her roommate Erin dead
on her bed apparently drowned
um covered in flowers and
um she staged like a painting there I
think it's like Ophelia or whatever
um and so she the six other roommates
are all freaking out she's screaming
they call the cops Cole calls when the
cops show up and because he's obviously
he's watching her
and
um she
she tells him what happened and he says
do not say anything to the police just
keep your mouth shut do not talk to the
cops and she disagrees she's like this
was Shaw I know it was Shaw he's gonna
keep hurting women this is not okay
Aaron deserves Justice blah blah blah so
um she talks to the cops
um but Shaw has an alibi and no one will
believe her just like when she said that
she was kidnapped the first time nobody
believes her Cole shows up and he's
really really angry but he gets her out
of of interrogation
and he takes her out to um out of the
station and says that she is moving in
with him
um right now because he can't keep her
safe by continuing to follow her he's
going to take care of Shaw she just
needs to stay safe
um and she uh agrees with that
assessment and that is the end of the
book stop that is that's where it ends
if she agrees to move in with him yep
I wish you guys can see Chelsea's face
just crumpled I don't even know what the
emotion was behind it but your whole
face just crumpled
hmm
I want alcohol so badly
and this [ __ ] kid I'm pregnant with
for him I won't but
it's but that book makes me want to
drink I know
I really do
um
so what what's our rate I don't even
want to rate it
like paint brushes
yeah that that feels safe
that's what we need right now we need to
feel safe
let's talk about coping skills yeah and
emotional regulation yeah maybe
um a nice warm bath
um it doesn't matter what the rating
scale is it's just one of that thing out
of it an infinite number of that thing
human bones sculptures
how many human femurs
are there are there 106 bones in the
human body I thought there were 206.
is that how many I'm gonna look it up
how many bones I don't know I dropped a
human anatomy in college you were right
it is 206. no I got oh six you you got
the the two with our powers combined
um I remember
I saw a card once that was like the
human body has 206 bones when I'm with
you I have 207.
which is a great line well if we're
gonna do it out of 206 bones the answer
is the answer is still one and honestly
I think that's why I liked I was like no
no it's like out of 10 paint brushes one
is too many yeah um it's one it is like
one
pinky toe bone
is it your pinky toe or your big toe
that if you don't have it you lose your
balance I don't know I would imagine
either would be a challenge
I think it's your big toe
without your big toe you lose balance
yeah you that would be hard to stabilize
that's fair
um yeah so one out of 206
gold flaked
human bones yeah so the thing about this
book
um was that I was rooting for no one and
I
hated it like the story parts of the
story I was like okay I'm into the story
actually like the premise of it is
really interesting but the detail was
like I
a full body cringe all the time and the
second book doesn't get better
I don't even know why I read this I'm
going to kindly and respectfully ask
that we don't
and I'm gonna honor that request because
consent matters and I'm gonna honor that
with you
thank you because then we'd have to like
it end up like
two out of 412 bones
and that is too low of a rating
um
yeah so whatever y'all do for self-care
yeah you should you should go do that
you should prioritize that should do
those things I'm gonna go sit in a dark
room and think about my life choices for
a little bit
um yeah I'm gonna drive home and
probably Listen to I don't know like a
Kendall Ryan book or something that is
just the exact polar opposite of that
whatever whatever you need whatever
helps regulate you
well I'm also going to delete the
outline I have for the second book so
that I don't ever accidentally look at
it if we're not gonna do it I don't even
want to accidentally look at it
I think that's a really fair assessment
okay
um thank you for joining us on
on such a roller coaster on such a
journey I'm so sorry y'all I'm so so
sorry y'all I really am
um
and I I think the crazy part was like
watching you like go through your
outline I was like I can tell Hannah's
skimming some parts of this I really do
it gets weirder and it gets worse it
really does a lot
so go prioritize your self-care go
prioritize whatever you need to do to
emotionally regulate yourself after that
one
um and let us know what you do for
yourself care and
I'd say your thoughts on the book but I
I don't even feel like I want to
recommend like reading it and trying it
um so yeah just you let us know what
your self-care looks like smut [ __ ] I
will tell you what I took away from this
book is that I should not get book
recommendations off of tick tock that's
what I got from this book primarily
um but I appreciate y'all learning that
lesson with me but I I think this book
was exactly what was advert like they're
like you want you want some [ __ ] dark
[ __ ] here you go and you're like yeah
I'll go with some dark [ __ ] and then
you're like oh this was darker than
that's not what I meant yeah yeah so now
that we all learned our lesson I
appreciate y'all and we will see you
next time [ __ ] we're sorry and goodbye
we hope it was good for you cause it
sure was great for us
you're digging what we're doing it would
mean a lot if you'd take a minute to
rate and review the show wherever you're
listening right now
if you tell that sexy someone to Linda
senir
we love you
we appreciate you
we'll see you next week
stay spotty
[Music]