Show Notes
Whatever you do, don't tell your child they're not going to get a shot the next time the next time they see the doctor, when you actually have no idea if that's true or not. That's just one piece of helpful advice from Novant Healthy pediatrician, Dr. Rachael Fournet. Looking for more parenting information? Check out Novant Health,
Healthy Headlines. Email us at
healthyheadlines@novanthhealth.org.
Transcript:
Roland Wilkerson
0:06 So there's a particular quote out there that goes something like this. It's not what you don't know that gets you into trouble it's what you do know that's just plain wrong. This is Roland Wilkerson with Novant Health Healthy Headlines. And that same came to mind recently, when I talked with pediatrician, Dr. Rachel Fournet about certain behaviors, she wishes parents would simply stop doing, give a listen and see if there's anyone here you recognize.
Okay, so we're here today to talk about what pediatricians wish parents would stop doing. So let's hear it.
So I would say one of the biggest things that I would recommend parents not do is lie to your pediatrician. So the relationship that a parent parents have with their pediatrician should be a sacred one. A special one, one where there's trust, there's communication freely both ways that the parents don't feel judged that the pediatrician, you know, doesn't get frustrated that we've talked about this seven times and you never listen. You know, it should be a really strong relationship.
What kinds of things are parents not being truthful about with their pediatricians?
Usually the things that they know the pediatrician will not approve of so tends to be co-sleeping. So most people know that pediatricians are going to recommend that the baby sleep in a bassinet or a crib on their back, no pillows or blankets, and not in the bed with the parents, you know, not in a doc-a-tot not in a 'rock and play'. And when you're in survival mode as a parent with a newborn baby who wants sleep more than two hours, you'll do about anything to get your child to sleep. So sometimes parents will rely on these devices and they'll maybe sleep with the baby in their bed or they'll sleep at the baby on their chest in the recliner. And then when you come to the pediatrician, you know, I'll ask well, okay, well tell me about sleep, not only how often are they waking up at night, but where are they sleeping? How are they sleeping? And I'll see the parents kind of look side to side at each other and say, "in the crib," and I'll say, "guys, you know, what's what's really happening in your home?" I don't go to their house, I don't know for sure what's happening. So I'm relying on the parent to tell me the truth so that I know how best to advise and educate.
What's another example?
Bottles. So our recommendation is starting at 12 months to wean off a bottle and under sippy cups, and bottles are one of those things that parents cling on to as a remembrance of them being a baby. They see their baby turning into a toddler, and there's that little bit of parental resistance to like move to that next stage. It might be because they're fearful of the terrible twos coming it might be because they just want to hold on to that kind of sweet baby stage a little longer. But parents either continue giving bottles into their well into 18 months two years old, which on my end, I would educate them that it can cause you know, tooth decay and it forms their teeth in a circle. And so there are negative reasons that we recommend stopping bottles. But so the parents are either afraid of having to move out of the baby stage too soon and they're clinging to it, or they think their baby is are taller now is very attached to the bottle and that it's going to lead to crying and impaired sleep. So I think parental fear of not sleeping is a huge driver in the things that they continue to do, even though we don't advise it.
Gotcha. What's next?
So another thing that I wish parents wouldn't do is to listen to all the advice that's out there. So not that you know, we pediatricians know absolutely everything but this is what my entire life has been about is about learning everything there is to know about pediatrics and children and child raising and safety. So the way the internet is now you can find information and advice for your child on mommy blogs. You can find it on Facebook, mom groups, you can you know, the old lady in the grocery store is going to tell you oh that baby needs some Orajel on his teeth or and then he won't feel the pain and your own Grandma, the own grandparents might be giving you advice about you need to put rice cereal in their bottle. So they'll sleep better at night. It's fine if they sleep on their belly, you guys did it and you survived. And so parents’ especially first time parents are getting bombarded by advice all the time. So take the advice you get with a grain of salt. Do your own research, talk to your pediatrician first. We will help guide whether or not oh, you're right, we did us to sleep in our belly. And then we found out that 50% of SIDS deaths are from tummy sleeping. So all those children suffocated and died in their sleep because they were on their stomach. Once we turned them on their back, the SIDS rate dropped in half. And we had a solution. So yes, the grandmother's right. And yet science has told us that there's a safer way. And that's why we have changes in the recommendations, we change recommendations often in pediatrics. Now they recommend to stay backwards in a car seat until after two years old. Only a couple years ago, the recommendation was just turned forwards at one. So every year we're coming out with changes and updates and recommendations. And everyone on the street and everyone on the internet doesn't know that. So also keep in mind that your friends, you know mom groups, your people that you meet at the park people on on M2M Facebook groups, their advice is coming from a you know, an sample population of one to four children. So then you might say, Oh, my children all loved Similac lack formula, and Enfamil was the worst? Well, that's what worked for those four kids. Right? But that's not how science works. You can't do studies based on four people. And so take with a grain of salt that that might have worked for one mom, one family, one child, or my kid had that similar rash. And my doctor said it was this? Well, no no, and now like, rashes are tricky. Rashes are confusing, like and red bumps don't always mean it's the exact same diagnosis. So reach out to your pediatrician, we have triage nurses that are able to walk through you know, symptoms, ask questions, help guide you to accurate websites, we’ll let you know if it's something we're worried about, or give you that advice. And so that would be one number two.
So I think your next one was related about when to research and when not to research.
So, 2am is the worst time to be researching anything on Google. So kids love to throws curveballs around bed time or the middle of the night. You know, that's when fever spike, that's when they breed funny, that's when they throw up at three o'clock in the morning. And parents will immediately go into Google and start looking up their parent, they're paid their child's symptoms, and Google is a great wealth of information. But it tends to go worst case scenario. So if you look at Red Dot rash in my child, it's going to tell you that they have measles 100%. If you look up my teenagers tired, it's going to tell you they have leukemia. So like you take it with a grain of salt that, you know, the photos that they have on Google Image are the worst case scenario photos, the websites that it's going to bring up are going to lead you towards cancer 99 out of 100 times. So don't go down the spiral and the black hole of internet research in the middle of the night. You know, take a deep breath, know that we are there for you, we have 24 hour triage. So you can always call the office number and speak to a trained pediatric nurse at three o'clock in the morning. And they can guide you as to if your child needs to go to the ER or needs an appointment the next morning, try this, try that. And then call first thing at 8am and say you know we had a bad night, I'm really worried I want to see our doctor. And then we'll be the ones to let you know if there's something to worry about.
Gotcha. All right.
And then my last one, and this is a this is a kind of part one, part two is I'll often have parents that promise their children that they won't get shot to their appointment. And that you know, every child is different as to where they are in their vaccine schedule. And so in every office can be a little bit different and how they kind of the timing of when they give normal vaccines. So I would instead if your child asks you, if they're getting a shot today, tell them I don't know, because you don't. Because that's up to us at the visit, we have to see if your child's healthy enough for shots that day, we have to look at their vaccine record. So see what they're actually due for. And then we'll discuss it in the room, but just try to kick the can tell them we'll see when we get there. Or if your child's absolutely terrified. Or they're losing sleep because they're so worried call our office and we can look it up ahead of time and tell you yes, they're due for the D-Tap and a Hep-A. So they'll need two shots at their visit, then you can warn your child prepare your child, and then you're giving them correct information. The part two of this is sometimes parents will leave it to the child to decide whether or not they're getting shots today. Well, I have never met a child who is like, "Oh yes, please save me from meningitis. And give me as many shots as you possibly want today. Go ahead and my arm is ready." So don't don't put that on your child. Right? The pediatrician, the parent, we are the captains of the ship, we are the ones that set the boundaries, it is our job to determine what is needed for the health of the child. And so the it's non-negotiable. So say, okay, honey, like the doctor says you need two shots today. These are very important for your health, we're going to do them, you are going to be okay. And this is going to keep you safe. And I know that it might hurt for a little while and you're very upset. But we're going to do this. And the child even though they might react and flail and cry; one, we're used to that and we hold kids down all the time every day. But it's important for them to know, okay, my parent is in charge. I'm not the one at the age of four, who's determining whether or not I get shots to protect myself.
And it sounds like you're saying to that if parents overreact to theirs, to their children's fears about getting a shot, that that's only going to have repercussions...
It validates their fear, right? So if if the child says, “Oh my gosh, was going to be terrible. I'm so scared” and the parent goes, “Oh, I know that meningitis shot really hurts.” Or “your arm might be sore for a couple days.” You know, no, that's only good reinforced to the child like See, I knew my fear was valid. And so instead say, “Look, I got all my childhood shots, and you get over it, you know, it hurts for a second and then you're fine.” That little bit of almost placebo effect telling them that you're going to be okay, it's a quick little sting, and then it's over and done and you're fine. At least plants that seed in their head.
So doctor for name mentioned a free 24 hour nursing line that beats the daylights out of googling your kid’s weird rash or tummy troubles in the middle of the night. The easiest way to find that is to search Novant health Care Line. I'm going to say that again. Novant Health Care Line. Depending on where you live, the numbers vary. And you need to live in North or South Carolina or Virginia to take advantage of the service. And if you're like me, you're going to want to find that number now and save it or stick it on the fridge so you don't have to try to run it down and you guessed it,
3:30 in the morning. You'll find a lot more stories like this at Novant Health Healthy Headlines, you should check them out. You got a story idea, email: healthyheadlines@novanthealth.org. Thanks for listening
Transcribed by https://otter.ai