WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:00.050 --> 00:00:01.370 Hey, it's Matt from the WP Minutes. 00:00:01.370 --> 00:00:03.530 You're watching a webinar for Members Only. 00:00:03.859 --> 00:00:07.400 That was recorded in the members only group@thewpminute.com 00:00:07.400 --> 00:00:08.150 slash support. 00:00:08.150 --> 00:00:09.080 It's a great way to. 00:00:09.469 --> 00:00:12.739 Get some awesome content like this to network with other 00:00:12.739 --> 00:00:14.149 WordPress business owners. 00:00:14.149 --> 00:00:15.199 Talk about WordPress news. 00:00:15.199 --> 00:00:17.599 Talk about industry news inside of our Slack group. 00:00:17.599 --> 00:00:21.919 You can join for as little as $5 for a lifetime@thewpminute.com 00:00:22.189 --> 00:00:26.030 slash support, or become a sustainer member, which gets you access to 00:00:26.030 --> 00:00:27.829 a webinars like Angela's today. 00:00:27.829 --> 00:00:32.134 She's talking about leading through change and conflict. 00:00:32.179 --> 00:00:33.979 This was a fantastic discussion. 00:00:34.039 --> 00:00:34.970 I really enjoyed it. 00:00:35.260 --> 00:00:39.040 you don't see the q and a that happened after this, but if you are a sustaining 00:00:39.040 --> 00:00:42.670 member at the WP Minute, you get full access to webinars and access 00:00:42.670 --> 00:00:46.060 to our premier speakers like Angela. 00:00:46.090 --> 00:00:46.420 Okay. 00:00:46.630 --> 00:00:49.390 Without further ado, let's dive into the webinar. 00:00:49.494 --> 00:00:50.754 Angela: Thank you so much, Matt. 00:00:51.144 --> 00:00:53.454 yes, change and conflict. 00:00:53.534 --> 00:00:56.474 big topics, but also two of my favorite. 00:00:56.524 --> 00:01:00.304 and I realize I sound a bit like a masochist when I say that. 00:01:00.364 --> 00:01:02.584 but here is why. 00:01:03.859 --> 00:01:10.699 So change in conflict offer fascinating complexity and how leaders respond and 00:01:10.699 --> 00:01:13.219 move during these times really matters. 00:01:13.679 --> 00:01:19.169 we have an enormous impact on the people around us, and I really believe that 00:01:19.499 --> 00:01:24.389 now more than ever, we've strongly need better leadership in this world. 00:01:25.529 --> 00:01:29.339 And the thing is that most of us we're probably never 00:01:29.339 --> 00:01:31.619 trained to lead through chaos. 00:01:31.619 --> 00:01:34.949 We're usually trained to strategize, to build consensus, 00:01:34.949 --> 00:01:37.199 analyze data to execute, right. 00:01:37.669 --> 00:01:42.679 but we're finding ourselves surrounded by uncertainty in WordPress and 00:01:42.679 --> 00:01:46.729 the tech industry and the world, and there's an imperative for 00:01:46.729 --> 00:01:48.409 business owners and freelancers. 00:01:48.749 --> 00:01:51.119 Any leader to adapt. 00:01:51.569 --> 00:01:57.809 And so you are probably being asked to lead in ways that you weren't trained for. 00:01:57.869 --> 00:01:59.879 And the stakes are really high. 00:02:00.419 --> 00:02:04.679 It's no wonder that we are all really stressed these days. 00:02:05.089 --> 00:02:09.499 and it's also why we really need to talk about the work of change in conflict 00:02:09.889 --> 00:02:15.349 as essential leadership skills that are critical to success in modern business. 00:02:16.239 --> 00:02:18.999 I gave a quick intro, but I've got the intro slide here. 00:02:18.999 --> 00:02:23.129 So I'm gonna give a quick, quick thing about who I am, to talk about all of this. 00:02:24.039 --> 00:02:28.329 so yeah, until the end of last year, I was an automatic sponsored contributor. 00:02:28.699 --> 00:02:28.759 I. 00:02:28.779 --> 00:02:33.809 And I left to, actually pursue a master's degree as well and to become a leadership 00:02:33.809 --> 00:02:36.809 coach specializing in transition. 00:02:36.809 --> 00:02:40.439 So I'm really helping people who are moving into a leadership 00:02:40.439 --> 00:02:43.979 role or increasing their leadership responsibility. 00:02:44.289 --> 00:02:49.629 and so I'm frequently supporting people through these big, high stakes changes or. 00:02:50.464 --> 00:02:53.674 Intentious disagreements or lots of ambiguity. 00:02:53.674 --> 00:02:58.774 And so for me, change in conflict have really become the work. 00:02:59.614 --> 00:03:04.294 and like I said, this topic is, near and dear to my heart. 00:03:04.294 --> 00:03:08.224 So I also have done a fair amount of research and reflection 00:03:08.224 --> 00:03:09.844 on this particular topic. 00:03:09.844 --> 00:03:11.554 And so this webinar is. 00:03:11.899 --> 00:03:15.709 Informed by both theoretical and practical experience. 00:03:15.709 --> 00:03:21.439 And in particular here I'm drawing from a really great book by Adam Kahane. 00:03:21.519 --> 00:03:24.489 which honestly I would recommend just for the title alone. 00:03:24.489 --> 00:03:29.139 It is called, collaborating with the Enemy, how to Work with People We 00:03:29.139 --> 00:03:31.989 Don't agree with, don't like, or Trust. 00:03:32.089 --> 00:03:35.419 I'm wondering if that resonates with anybody here. 00:03:36.529 --> 00:03:40.659 Okay, so this is a really big topic, that we're packing 00:03:40.659 --> 00:03:42.429 into, I think about 30 minutes. 00:03:42.759 --> 00:03:47.609 And so if there is one thing I really want you to take away, it is this, 00:03:49.469 --> 00:03:55.499 change is inevitable and conflict is natural, and leadership is learning to 00:03:55.499 --> 00:03:58.469 work with both, starting with yourself. 00:04:00.794 --> 00:04:05.234 Leading through change is not about having the perfect strategy. 00:04:05.484 --> 00:04:10.284 rather it is about how we participate and how we advance, starting with 00:04:10.314 --> 00:04:13.374 examining what our role is in the dynamic. 00:04:14.919 --> 00:04:19.859 We are going to dig into all of this and, I do wanna be clear, I'm not promising 00:04:19.859 --> 00:04:23.819 that you're gonna leave with all of your stickiest conflicts resolved. 00:04:24.129 --> 00:04:28.449 but I do hope that you're gonna walk away with some new perspectives and maybe even 00:04:28.449 --> 00:04:33.649 some actionable steps on how to navigate, the uncertainty and change that you are 00:04:33.649 --> 00:04:38.539 facing, and perhaps some clarity around your role as a leader in this space. 00:04:39.664 --> 00:04:44.234 And so to get started, let's, get some baseline of where we all are now. 00:04:44.334 --> 00:04:46.944 this is a new to me tool, so we're gonna see how well this works. 00:04:47.294 --> 00:04:53.114 that if you scan that QR code, it should take you to a Mentimeter poll. 00:04:53.504 --> 00:04:57.974 And I would like you to rank the level of change that you are facing 00:04:57.974 --> 00:05:01.164 today, from one to five, one being. 00:05:01.384 --> 00:05:02.464 Blissfully bored. 00:05:02.464 --> 00:05:06.014 So no changes whatsoever, to five being help. 00:05:06.014 --> 00:05:09.164 It's chaos out there, so changes everywhere and you 00:05:09.164 --> 00:05:11.624 are feeling very overwhelmed. 00:05:12.644 --> 00:05:13.064 let's see. 00:05:13.994 --> 00:05:17.744 I think it should update live, but it might, I might 00:05:17.744 --> 00:05:19.094 need to just like refresh it. 00:05:19.094 --> 00:05:21.974 So we'll give it a second and see what happens here. 00:05:26.149 --> 00:05:29.069 Matt: For the record, I did, vote and it says, please wait for 00:05:29.069 --> 00:05:30.629 the presenter to change slides. 00:05:31.194 --> 00:05:31.544 Angela: Great. 00:05:31.704 --> 00:05:32.144 I love it. 00:05:34.979 --> 00:05:35.184 Wondered by. 00:05:37.214 --> 00:05:37.784 Aha. 00:05:37.814 --> 00:05:38.234 Okay. 00:05:38.834 --> 00:05:42.074 Yeah, so shifting gears and trying to keep up. 00:05:42.494 --> 00:05:43.364 We have one help. 00:05:43.364 --> 00:05:44.594 It's chaos out there. 00:05:44.964 --> 00:05:48.674 so yeah, not too surprising given the state of everything that, we 00:05:48.674 --> 00:05:51.464 are experiencing changes out there. 00:05:51.464 --> 00:05:51.764 So. 00:05:52.094 --> 00:05:52.574 Great. 00:05:53.094 --> 00:05:53.814 and then, okay. 00:05:54.054 --> 00:05:55.584 One more poll, I promise. 00:05:55.644 --> 00:05:56.484 Last one. 00:05:57.024 --> 00:06:02.364 Okay, so this poll, this time, I would like you to share how 00:06:02.364 --> 00:06:04.794 comfortable you are with conflict. 00:06:05.124 --> 00:06:07.614 one being you avoid it at all costs. 00:06:07.614 --> 00:06:08.394 You hate it. 00:06:08.704 --> 00:06:12.034 three being you're okay with it, you're engaging a little bit, 00:06:12.364 --> 00:06:14.764 and five being you love conflict. 00:06:14.824 --> 00:06:16.234 You're ready to take it all on. 00:06:24.154 --> 00:06:24.784 All right. 00:06:27.034 --> 00:06:27.934 Let's see. 00:06:29.149 --> 00:06:29.479 Oof. 00:06:29.569 --> 00:06:30.229 All right. 00:06:30.229 --> 00:06:31.399 We've got one. 00:06:31.399 --> 00:06:34.969 I avoided it at all costs and one, I try to be diplomatic. 00:06:34.969 --> 00:06:38.449 So yeah, it's, thank you so much for sharing. 00:06:38.519 --> 00:06:42.899 the reason I, I like asking this is because change in conflict 00:06:43.019 --> 00:06:45.719 bring up such a range for us. 00:06:45.719 --> 00:06:50.279 Like everything here is completely normal as a response. 00:06:50.359 --> 00:06:53.059 fear of, change of uncertainty. 00:06:53.174 --> 00:06:56.204 Doubt are all very normal responses. 00:06:56.554 --> 00:07:00.484 and at the same time, they can also inspire excitement, right? 00:07:00.484 --> 00:07:05.494 The possibility of something new or new opportunities or new connections. 00:07:05.574 --> 00:07:08.454 even conflict itself holds the same. 00:07:08.454 --> 00:07:13.024 Like some people really abor confronting others, while other people. 00:07:13.029 --> 00:07:14.469 I've got a good friend who's just like. 00:07:14.714 --> 00:07:16.364 Loves to confront people. 00:07:16.904 --> 00:07:20.084 and so it can be really exciting too. 00:07:20.434 --> 00:07:24.784 sometimes a good fight can clear the air and actually for just 00:07:25.144 --> 00:07:27.364 a stronger bond between people. 00:07:27.394 --> 00:07:33.214 So very normal that we feel so much around changing conflict and in my 00:07:33.214 --> 00:07:37.624 opinion, also pretty cool that humans have the capacity for all of that. 00:07:38.834 --> 00:07:44.354 So, okay, I'm gonna quickly focus on change at its fundamentals. 00:07:45.434 --> 00:07:51.914 So when any sort of change happens, it is both an external and an internal shift. 00:07:51.914 --> 00:07:56.084 So the change itself may be situational, like it's happening all around us. 00:07:56.219 --> 00:07:59.924 and we are also going to undergo an internal transition 00:07:59.924 --> 00:08:02.144 in experiencing the change. 00:08:02.624 --> 00:08:07.274 So to visualize this, I always like to pull the, William Bridge transition model, 00:08:07.604 --> 00:08:12.224 which captures how a group of humans will move through a change over time. 00:08:12.704 --> 00:08:16.124 So at the inception of change, you're gonna have some people who are already 00:08:16.124 --> 00:08:20.824 on board, some people who are kind of unsure, and then quite a few, depending 00:08:20.824 --> 00:08:25.714 on the change, who are focused on what is lost, and then over time. 00:08:26.314 --> 00:08:27.544 That kind of shifts. 00:08:28.084 --> 00:08:32.614 So not gonna stay here for too long, only to say that there is a ton of 00:08:32.614 --> 00:08:34.534 work to be done with any change. 00:08:34.824 --> 00:08:39.384 just in like, not just in the number of things to do, but also for most people, 00:08:39.654 --> 00:08:43.764 the emotions or the feelings around the situation that have to be processed. 00:08:44.124 --> 00:08:47.514 And so an exceptional leader will be able to kind of anticipate 00:08:47.514 --> 00:08:51.364 that and successfully bring their people through this, and 00:08:51.364 --> 00:08:53.374 point them in the same direction. 00:08:54.709 --> 00:08:57.979 So to illustrate this with a simple example. 00:08:58.759 --> 00:09:02.659 One big change that we've probably all heard or seen somewhere is 00:09:02.659 --> 00:09:04.909 implementing AI driven support. 00:09:05.649 --> 00:09:09.789 often when this happens, there's everything from fear to excitement, 00:09:10.059 --> 00:09:14.769 for example, fear that AI is taking your job, or questions around if 00:09:14.769 --> 00:09:16.749 the AI is going to do the job well. 00:09:17.059 --> 00:09:21.729 there might be excitement in modernizing the tools, and with any change. 00:09:21.974 --> 00:09:24.134 Conflict is also natural. 00:09:24.584 --> 00:09:28.664 You're gonna have the people who are just staunchly against implementing that 00:09:28.664 --> 00:09:33.974 AI driven support, or you're gonna see disagreement on how it should be done. 00:09:35.664 --> 00:09:40.704 And so in those moments, you can use some great leadership tactics to just help 00:09:40.704 --> 00:09:42.234 your people through the change, right? 00:09:42.234 --> 00:09:48.264 For example, acknowledging that things are lost and validating those experiences. 00:09:48.504 --> 00:09:52.794 You can provide resources or training leading up to the change. 00:09:53.184 --> 00:09:55.434 You should celebrate the wins along the way. 00:09:55.434 --> 00:09:57.294 That's, one we often forget to do. 00:09:57.834 --> 00:10:01.524 you can also paint a clear vision of what is to come. 00:10:02.889 --> 00:10:10.599 And so all of this works really well within conventional collaboration, which 00:10:10.599 --> 00:10:16.839 is what usually happens within one company or just one team where we can generally 00:10:16.839 --> 00:10:22.449 agree on what the focus of the changes, the goal, the plan, the steps forward, 00:10:22.929 --> 00:10:25.239 and even who is responsible for what. 00:10:26.589 --> 00:10:31.759 However, all too frequently now we are not so isolated, right? 00:10:31.759 --> 00:10:37.429 Like we have to work outside of our nuclear teams, and increasingly we 00:10:37.429 --> 00:10:39.919 are dealing with overlapping issues. 00:10:39.919 --> 00:10:40.189 So I. 00:10:40.954 --> 00:10:43.504 For conflicts and changes that pop up. 00:10:43.534 --> 00:10:48.664 We're also seeing increased polarization where we have people who are very 00:10:48.664 --> 00:10:51.604 much on opposite sides of the issues. 00:10:52.024 --> 00:10:54.934 And on top of that, you have multiple changes and multiple 00:10:54.934 --> 00:10:57.454 conflicts happening simultaneously. 00:10:58.714 --> 00:11:03.224 And so the world that we're faced with today, William Bridge's great transition 00:11:03.224 --> 00:11:05.384 model, looks a little more like this. 00:11:08.624 --> 00:11:09.674 It's kind of a mess. 00:11:10.014 --> 00:11:14.484 you don't really know where it starts or where it ends or even where you are. 00:11:14.544 --> 00:11:19.494 and this unfortunately is more the norm for everyone in these days. 00:11:20.544 --> 00:11:25.524 And then to compound the problem, we likely disagree on the problems, the 00:11:25.524 --> 00:11:31.074 plans, the focus, and we, there's no way that we are going to agree 00:11:31.074 --> 00:11:34.014 on who is responsible for what. 00:11:36.459 --> 00:11:37.389 I see this everywhere. 00:11:37.479 --> 00:11:42.429 for example, if I were to ask five people what the biggest challenge 00:11:42.429 --> 00:11:46.539 facing WordPress is today, I would probably get at least four, 00:11:46.869 --> 00:11:49.159 if not six, different answers. 00:11:49.729 --> 00:11:50.839 Is it governance? 00:11:50.839 --> 00:11:52.009 Is it the product roadmap? 00:11:52.009 --> 00:11:53.149 Is it marketing? 00:11:53.149 --> 00:11:53.899 Is it lawsuits? 00:11:54.589 --> 00:11:58.129 and then WordPress itself is also part of broader challenges 00:11:58.129 --> 00:11:59.719 facing the tech industry, right? 00:11:59.719 --> 00:12:03.259 Like we have questions around ai, ethics, security. 00:12:03.489 --> 00:12:04.599 Also governance. 00:12:05.109 --> 00:12:09.429 and then beyond that, the tech industry itself is part of even 00:12:09.429 --> 00:12:11.289 broader concerns facing the world. 00:12:11.919 --> 00:12:16.149 Political concerns, socioeconomic, environmental concerns. 00:12:16.629 --> 00:12:20.379 These are really enormous challenges. 00:12:20.709 --> 00:12:22.564 and as I mentioned earlier. 00:12:23.404 --> 00:12:27.784 In these complex problems, we're seeing more and more polarization and 00:12:27.784 --> 00:12:33.934 disagreement, and so we aren't going to agree on what the core issues or 00:12:33.934 --> 00:12:39.754 what the solutions are, and so it's already supposed to lead through that. 00:12:41.259 --> 00:12:46.059 well for these most complex of challenges where we don't know the 00:12:46.059 --> 00:12:50.259 future, where we can't agree on the problems we're facing or how to move 00:12:50.259 --> 00:12:56.409 forward, we are going to try for what Adam Kahane calls stretch collaboration. 00:12:57.639 --> 00:13:02.619 So stretch collaboration is necessary for when we don't agree on the focus, 00:13:02.619 --> 00:13:07.269 when we can't control the outcome, and maybe we don't even like or 00:13:07.269 --> 00:13:09.759 trust those we have to work with. 00:13:10.389 --> 00:13:14.859 What we do know is that we cannot stay where we are now. 00:13:15.339 --> 00:13:17.409 We have to make progress. 00:13:19.809 --> 00:13:23.169 And so this is a big change in of itself. 00:13:23.169 --> 00:13:26.259 Like you can see why it's called stretch collaboration, right? 00:13:26.319 --> 00:13:33.129 Because essentially what I'm asking you to do is to let go of those 00:13:33.129 --> 00:13:37.989 tightly held hopes for consensus and alignment and trust and shared goals, 00:13:38.379 --> 00:13:42.819 all of those really beautiful things that leaders are usually striving to 00:13:42.819 --> 00:13:45.879 build, which is pretty terrifying. 00:13:47.604 --> 00:13:51.054 And it can also be really freeing. 00:13:51.594 --> 00:13:56.604 So I'm gonna talk through three core leadership shifts that can 00:13:56.604 --> 00:14:01.704 help us lead through these really complex changes and conflicts. 00:14:04.824 --> 00:14:09.024 First, you gotta connect to the conflict and change. 00:14:09.314 --> 00:14:12.074 you have to connect with it if you're going to lead people through it. 00:14:13.199 --> 00:14:18.479 This is because everyone is going to connect differently, especially given 00:14:18.479 --> 00:14:20.489 how complex these situations are. 00:14:21.029 --> 00:14:26.039 And so even if we don't agree, we can still discuss what is 00:14:26.039 --> 00:14:30.449 happening, meaning we have to welcome it and create space for that. 00:14:31.454 --> 00:14:36.224 And as leaders, change in conflict are critical signals. 00:14:36.224 --> 00:14:37.514 Critical signals. 00:14:37.904 --> 00:14:40.934 They are indicators that something is happening. 00:14:41.984 --> 00:14:47.324 And when something happens, we have to know what our priorities are, right to us, 00:14:47.324 --> 00:14:49.484 to our team, to the success of our work. 00:14:49.664 --> 00:14:53.594 It really starts with us connecting to the conflict and change internally 00:14:53.594 --> 00:14:56.774 and defining what we hold important. 00:14:58.184 --> 00:15:02.624 And then because we are part of broader communities and industries, we also 00:15:02.624 --> 00:15:06.764 have to connect to other people and see where our priorities overlap 00:15:06.764 --> 00:15:09.254 with theirs and where they diverge. 00:15:09.824 --> 00:15:14.564 And what we're working towards here is building a culture of pluralism, 00:15:14.564 --> 00:15:15.944 which is a concept that has. 00:15:16.389 --> 00:15:20.409 Roots in political, religious, organizational philosophy. 00:15:20.409 --> 00:15:23.949 basically that disagreement leads to better outcomes. 00:15:24.309 --> 00:15:28.839 And it's not about everyone agreeing but moving forward, even when we do not. 00:15:30.044 --> 00:15:31.244 So WordPress itself. 00:15:31.364 --> 00:15:36.114 Another great example here, WordPress is not a singular mind or voice. 00:15:36.114 --> 00:15:40.014 It is many with overlapping buckets of priorities. 00:15:40.314 --> 00:15:44.694 And so a culture of pluralism will acknowledge the significance of 00:15:44.694 --> 00:15:46.434 all of these different voices. 00:15:46.974 --> 00:15:49.919 and I do really wanna make the distinction here that this is. 00:15:50.369 --> 00:15:52.439 Not about building consensus. 00:15:52.439 --> 00:15:57.089 It's simply acknowledgement, meaning that we do have to listen to other 00:15:57.089 --> 00:16:02.729 people, and it is about being willing to work together despite the disagreement. 00:16:04.349 --> 00:16:10.559 And in order to build pluralism, we have to engage and assert in turn. 00:16:11.469 --> 00:16:15.249 So when we connect with conflict and change and the people we have 00:16:15.249 --> 00:16:16.779 to work with, we have to do both. 00:16:17.409 --> 00:16:22.569 We have to engage and we have to hear what other people believe are the problems. 00:16:22.569 --> 00:16:27.549 Just as we share the same and we listen to what we hold, what other people 00:16:27.549 --> 00:16:32.649 hold as their priorities, and we assert our own so that we do stand up for 00:16:32.649 --> 00:16:34.419 ourselves, our clients, our teams. 00:16:35.279 --> 00:16:41.279 To do this requires both the capacity and the awareness and a balance of both. 00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:44.219 this quote by Martin Luther King Jr. 00:16:44.219 --> 00:16:45.839 Captures this sentiment. 00:16:47.489 --> 00:16:51.509 Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without 00:16:51.509 --> 00:16:54.179 power is sentimental and anemic. 00:16:56.334 --> 00:17:00.624 Engaging and asserting in times of complex change and conflict 00:17:00.624 --> 00:17:03.024 helps to further the conversation. 00:17:03.774 --> 00:17:08.004 However, if we go too far with just one or the other, we're gonna 00:17:08.004 --> 00:17:12.084 find ourselves only listening to other people or only asserting our 00:17:12.084 --> 00:17:18.864 priorities, and that comes at a cost to ourselves and at any cans at progress. 00:17:20.289 --> 00:17:23.919 And so to connect this to your own work, I'm gonna offer you 00:17:23.919 --> 00:17:26.169 this question for reflection 00:17:28.209 --> 00:17:31.659 in a conflict or change that you are currently facing, how 00:17:31.659 --> 00:17:34.119 are you engaging and asserting? 00:17:36.129 --> 00:17:38.919 So that's the first big leadership shift. 00:17:40.089 --> 00:17:44.429 The second, leadership shift that we is, that we are going to. 00:17:45.449 --> 00:17:49.529 Abandon the illusion of control in favor of experimentation. 00:17:51.069 --> 00:17:56.349 one very unfortunate and also very normal outcome of change and conflict is getting 00:17:56.349 --> 00:18:02.619 stuck and we end up losing time to trying to agree on the problem or the solutions. 00:18:02.999 --> 00:18:05.669 and what we're doing there in effect is that we are trying 00:18:05.669 --> 00:18:07.259 to control the situation. 00:18:07.679 --> 00:18:11.159 We're trying to get certainty and clarity when. 00:18:11.534 --> 00:18:12.764 We aren't going to get it. 00:18:12.764 --> 00:18:14.654 It's, it's impossible to do so. 00:18:16.634 --> 00:18:21.374 And so if we are willing to give up some control, if we are willing 00:18:21.374 --> 00:18:25.664 to accept that people disagree with us, it frees us up to act. 00:18:26.444 --> 00:18:31.574 And this step absolutely relies on our ability to connect and engage with 00:18:31.574 --> 00:18:35.694 change in conflict, because we need to be able to connect with priorities 00:18:35.694 --> 00:18:37.044 that are different from our own. 00:18:38.214 --> 00:18:43.884 And when we can acknowledge that we don't have some control here, we can experiment. 00:18:44.424 --> 00:18:48.414 So, project managers and people who love to plan in this room, I, I see you. 00:18:48.864 --> 00:18:54.354 creating plans here can really help as long as they are flexible and you 00:18:54.354 --> 00:18:59.644 have some idea of knowing, when that plan no longer makes sense, and then 00:18:59.644 --> 00:19:04.834 longer term strategies can be realized through this kind of experimentation. 00:19:07.414 --> 00:19:12.784 And the goal here is to simply try and to learn and then to try again. 00:19:13.244 --> 00:19:17.204 success here is not that you achieve every single, make your 00:19:17.204 --> 00:19:23.474 priority, but rather success here is getting unstuck and moving forward. 00:19:24.644 --> 00:19:29.294 And to tie this into word pressy terms lead like a jazz musician. 00:19:30.194 --> 00:19:35.564 Improv is still bound by the definitions of music, but allows for that 00:19:35.564 --> 00:19:38.324 expression and experimental free form. 00:19:38.384 --> 00:19:43.694 And, sometimes that, that unexpected riff is what changes everything. 00:19:43.694 --> 00:19:43.724 I. 00:19:46.094 --> 00:19:51.674 So when it comes to abandoning control and embracing experimentation, 00:19:51.674 --> 00:19:53.234 I'm gonna ask you this. 00:19:53.774 --> 00:19:58.544 In the conflict or change that you are facing, what is a singular 00:19:58.544 --> 00:20:01.034 step that you are willing to try? 00:20:03.884 --> 00:20:05.144 All right, so that's number two. 00:20:05.144 --> 00:20:10.404 And, we're gonna move on to the last big leadership shift, which is, honestly the 00:20:10.404 --> 00:20:13.374 most profound and the most challenging. 00:20:13.864 --> 00:20:19.234 and it is you look inward and to be willing to change yourself. 00:20:20.134 --> 00:20:23.854 If you are currently in a leadership role, you've probably had the 00:20:23.854 --> 00:20:28.084 experience of leading a project or a strategy or something where 00:20:28.084 --> 00:20:30.334 some unexpected challenge came up. 00:20:30.754 --> 00:20:35.854 And in that moment you probably examined what happened, looked around, and you were 00:20:35.854 --> 00:20:41.344 able to quickly identify what happened and you were able to address it immediately. 00:20:41.884 --> 00:20:42.574 And in this case. 00:20:43.594 --> 00:20:46.084 You had control over that situation, right? 00:20:46.084 --> 00:20:51.064 You had the power to do so, but in stretch collaboration, you're not 00:20:51.064 --> 00:20:52.774 going to have that level of control. 00:20:52.774 --> 00:20:57.784 So even if you do identify what went wrong, chances are you're not 00:20:57.784 --> 00:21:02.194 able to do much about it in that moment, or at least exert that 00:21:02.194 --> 00:21:04.054 much control over the situation. 00:21:04.924 --> 00:21:09.704 And, unfortunately we experience that more and more these days and 00:21:09.704 --> 00:21:14.264 when that happens, one very natural thing that people do, most people 00:21:14.264 --> 00:21:16.934 do in this situation is to blame. 00:21:19.449 --> 00:21:25.119 we say things like, oh my God, what were they thinking? 00:21:25.199 --> 00:21:26.969 God, they really shouldn't have done that. 00:21:26.969 --> 00:21:29.909 If I were in charge, I would not have done that. 00:21:30.419 --> 00:21:32.459 you can see I, I'm good at doing this. 00:21:33.179 --> 00:21:37.769 we, we say this to our friends, sometimes we take to social media 00:21:37.769 --> 00:21:40.739 and we get affirmation in return. 00:21:40.739 --> 00:21:41.339 It is. 00:21:41.639 --> 00:21:47.189 Really natural for us to overestimate how correct we are 00:21:47.519 --> 00:21:49.829 and the value of our actions. 00:21:49.929 --> 00:21:55.019 yeah, I've done this a million times and I will, likely continue to do so. 00:21:55.529 --> 00:21:56.549 It's normal. 00:21:56.609 --> 00:22:01.739 When we feel conflict, it's often because something is going against 00:22:02.009 --> 00:22:04.559 our value system and our priorities. 00:22:04.559 --> 00:22:09.329 And so by overestimating how correct I am in my actions, 00:22:09.629 --> 00:22:11.609 I am affirming those values. 00:22:11.609 --> 00:22:11.969 Right? 00:22:12.419 --> 00:22:16.614 And, I'm also, affirming what I do not want to stand up for. 00:22:17.619 --> 00:22:19.239 Again, super normal thing to do. 00:22:19.649 --> 00:22:25.559 what matters here is that we are aware of it because one side effect of 00:22:25.709 --> 00:22:31.209 overestimating how correct we are, is that we underestimate, how correct other 00:22:31.209 --> 00:22:34.419 people are and their values, and so. 00:22:35.184 --> 00:22:40.374 If we hold onto this self-affirmation too tightly, we really impede 00:22:40.374 --> 00:22:42.324 any chance of moving forward. 00:22:43.044 --> 00:22:47.004 One thing that you're always likely to have control of in these moments 00:22:47.004 --> 00:22:51.864 of conflict and change is control over yourself and your actions. 00:22:51.894 --> 00:22:57.419 And so growing yourself awareness and examining where you might change is 00:22:57.539 --> 00:23:00.624 a really powerful way to get unstuck. 00:23:02.034 --> 00:23:07.874 And so, the next time I invite you to just notice when you start to 00:23:07.874 --> 00:23:12.554 blame others, when you are faced with change in conflict, just 00:23:12.554 --> 00:23:15.054 notice it, and then turn it inward. 00:23:15.414 --> 00:23:20.034 What is your role here and what are you willing to do differently? 00:23:22.824 --> 00:23:26.154 So those are the three leadership shifts. 00:23:26.184 --> 00:23:30.724 to recap real quick, in those moments where scratch collaboration is needed 00:23:30.724 --> 00:23:34.654 to address the complex changes and conflicts you are facing, these 00:23:34.654 --> 00:23:36.784 are the leadership shifts to try. 00:23:37.594 --> 00:23:42.214 The first is to connect to the conflict and change by engaging and asserting. 00:23:42.604 --> 00:23:45.784 You have to know what your priorities are, and you have to be willing to 00:23:45.784 --> 00:23:47.974 acknowledge the priorities of others. 00:23:49.234 --> 00:23:54.484 The second is to abandon the illusion of control and focus on trying something, 00:23:54.844 --> 00:23:56.704 even if it is something small. 00:23:56.804 --> 00:24:01.634 and remember here, success is getting unstuck and moving forward. 00:24:04.334 --> 00:24:08.304 And then last but not least, to look inward and to examine what you 00:24:08.304 --> 00:24:12.354 are willing to change in yourself so that you can change the dynamic 00:24:12.384 --> 00:24:14.604 of the situation that you face. 00:24:15.414 --> 00:24:17.004 Because remember, 00:24:19.104 --> 00:24:20.274 change is inevitable. 00:24:20.634 --> 00:24:23.874 Conflict is natural, and leadership is learning to work 00:24:23.874 --> 00:24:26.394 with both starting with yourself. 00:24:27.844 --> 00:24:34.554 and as I wrap up here, I just wanna acknowledge that, It is super easy for 00:24:34.584 --> 00:24:38.034 me to come here and say all of this. 00:24:38.064 --> 00:24:42.424 and so I really get it if, you're dubious about some of this or 00:24:42.424 --> 00:24:44.284 feeling overwhelmed or not sure. 00:24:44.334 --> 00:24:48.414 because these are very big, broad ideas that are. 00:24:48.924 --> 00:24:50.664 Way easier said than done. 00:24:51.024 --> 00:24:55.914 And we are really living in uncertain, chaotic times. 00:24:55.974 --> 00:25:01.294 And, I'm guessing that many of you are under a lot of pressure right 00:25:01.294 --> 00:25:07.174 now because leading other people is already an immense responsibility. 00:25:07.264 --> 00:25:12.934 And most of us probably know what it feels like to be led by a great leader 00:25:12.934 --> 00:25:16.044 or, conversely by a really terrible one. 00:25:16.704 --> 00:25:25.014 And so choosing to lead from a place of awareness and humility and responsibility 00:25:25.074 --> 00:25:30.444 is not easy at all, but it is invaluable. 00:25:30.534 --> 00:25:35.694 for, for your clients, for your team, for your community, and for you. 00:25:37.884 --> 00:25:43.554 Change is inevitable and conflict is natural, and leadership is 00:25:43.674 --> 00:25:45.174 learning to work with both. 00:25:45.384 --> 00:25:46.794 Starting with yourself. 00:25:47.469 --> 00:25:53.259 So the work that we do in here is just as important as the work we do out there. 00:25:53.739 --> 00:25:57.549 And moving forward is not just an outward reaction. 00:25:57.639 --> 00:25:59.169 It's not just an outward action. 00:25:59.199 --> 00:26:03.939 It's sometimes resting and reflecting, and sometimes it's 00:26:04.269 --> 00:26:07.749 spending time with the people who you love and who do think like you. 00:26:08.139 --> 00:26:14.019 And sometimes it's just letting yourself be because you cannot 00:26:14.019 --> 00:26:15.699 navigate change or conflict. 00:26:16.179 --> 00:26:22.179 If you are depleted or disconnected, and so caring for yourself, getting rest, 00:26:22.209 --> 00:26:27.669 finding joy, holding hope, those are all essential leadership practices as well. 00:26:29.379 --> 00:26:33.099 And so I'm gonna leave you with one last question for reflection. 00:26:35.289 --> 00:26:39.849 If change is inevitable and conflict is natural, what kind of 00:26:39.849 --> 00:26:44.799 leader would you be if you showed up wholly unabashedly yourself? 00:26:47.154 --> 00:26:48.594 And that's the invite. 00:26:48.954 --> 00:26:52.884 It's not to fix it all, but to stay engaged and to stay 00:26:52.884 --> 00:26:54.954 human and to keep on leading. 00:26:58.689 --> 00:26:59.199 That's it. 00:27:00.009 --> 00:27:00.999 Thank you everyone. 00:27:01.049 --> 00:27:04.079 my name's Angela and this is how you can connect with me. 00:27:04.079 --> 00:27:07.649 I am Angela Essin on all the social medias. 00:27:07.699 --> 00:27:12.229 and then if this talk was interesting to you and you would like to chat more, 00:27:12.539 --> 00:27:16.469 or if you are looking for a leadership coach who is offering some very 00:27:16.469 --> 00:27:20.739 competitive rates, because she isn't trading right now, that QR code will 00:27:20.739 --> 00:27:22.839 take you to my Calendly where I offer. 00:27:22.839 --> 00:27:25.199 For, some free 30 minute consultations. 00:27:26.459 --> 00:27:26.729 All right. 00:27:27.329 --> 00:27:28.139 Matt: That's fantastic. 00:27:28.139 --> 00:27:28.799 Thanks so much. 00:27:28.849 --> 00:27:32.149 Angela, the, I just wanna make sure as well, the call to action for 00:27:32.149 --> 00:27:35.149 your domain is angela sgin.com, 00:27:35.149 --> 00:27:37.669 that they can find you there for the business as well, correct? 00:27:37.819 --> 00:27:38.389 That's right. 00:27:38.719 --> 00:27:39.289 Fantastic.