Welcome to episode two. So today we're gonna look at five reasons you're not getting fitter, stronger, leaner as a dad. Now being a strong dad is the ultimate flex. Being able to pick the kids up, throw them in the air and catch them. Bringing six shopping bags three in each hand from the car or starting the lawn mower in one pull.

These are the ultimate flexes but when it comes to being a fit healthy and strong dad having kids can make working out more of a challenge. You now have all these responsibilities making it more difficult. When you're younger, you're free, or haven't got kids, your schedule is your schedule. You can do what you want when you want. Now I think it's been easier for me overall being an ex athlete and now a personal trainer.

Always being in and around the gym environment gives me a greater chance to be consistent. But now, having worked through this challenge with so many guys, it's been another level of making this work. It can often start with guys putting on weight before the baby is born with the mom to be. When the wife gets pregnant, studies will show that guys will start putting on weight between five and twenty pounds, then add in the increased pressure. Work now becomes more important as you have mouths to feed.

Your schedule becomes more limited. Food is harder to plan. So you eat more processed foods or food on the fly or go out, and it just gets more difficult to maintain fitness. So the average guy gains weight after he becomes a father and fitness levels drop. And this is a time when as you have kids and your kids get older, you want to be the example.

You want to set the standards. So let's have a look at what some of these obstacles are. First of all, time. Get in a way to go to the gym after or before work, taking an hour in the gym, then you got shower, change, and travel times there and back. You could be gone at least a couple of hours.

But when you've got the kids at home, your wife needing your support, it's hard to find that time. And not only that, the guilt takes over. It feels wrong, you prioritizing yourself when you're needed back at home. And then you feel bad, and so you don't do it. Staying in shape is what you feel is the one thing that has to give at this stage.

However, a fit and healthy you always has a positive knock on effect. And for me personally, if I'm struggling with time, my missus will will just tell me, get yourself off to the gym. She'll encourage me to go and train as it's beneficial to everybody. I'll be in a better mood. I'll feel better about myself.

I'll now want to do more for her and the family. And work wise, I'm definitely more productive. So how are we gonna make this happen? Well, we need to go away from the thinking of being in the gym for two or three hours a day, five or six times a week. And also what modality of training is gonna give us the best return on investment.

Predominantly, focus on strength training, especially when it comes to long term fat loss and changing body shape. We can get results in as little as half an hour sessions. And as long as they are programmed right and the intensity is high, you can get results. I've got one guy doing home gym workouts five times a week for twenty minutes every morning before work, before anybody else in the house is up. But then I've got another guy who's who's who's able to get free for two one hour sessions after work.

We make it work. But a key component is not overcommitting by thinking you need a certain amount of time in the gym to get results, but not being able to be consistent with it and eventually giving up. If you program yourself two hour sessions four times a week, you know that you can't stick to it. You'll feel like a failure, and you'll end up giving up. Next up, diet.

Now don't overcomplicate this. How many calories should I be eating? Should I be tracking? Am I bulking? Am I cutting?

What about if I'm eating on the go? Don't stress yourself with it all. If it comes to it, just stick to these few rules, and you can still make body composition changes. First of all, eat whole foods 90% of the time. A phrase that I've used a few times before.

Did it grow on a tree? Did it grow in the ground? Did it have a mom and dad? If the answer is yes to these, then base your food around this. Now this doesn't mean it has to be boring.

You can add herbs, spices, you know, zero calorie sources, and then you've still got that 10 to 20% leeway to eat more relaxed than the foods that you want. Limit or stay away from processed foods. Even if you think you can stay in a calorie deficit by eating processed foods, these foods are engineered to make you overeat, and they lack quality and nutrition. So anything in boxes, wrappers, bags, things with loads and loads of ingredients, stay away from. Aim for high protein meals and snacks.

Anything usually from a 125 grams to 200 grams depending on your ideal goal weight. And try not to just do it for one day, two days, and then miss a couple of days. When it comes to protein, its benefits are huge. So every day we need to nail this. This is key for building muscle and preserving muscle.

This will help with satiety and making you feel full. Now it may take a little getting used to eating more protein if you're not used to it. And so being prepared and having high protein options available and finding them preferred sources of protein for you. If you can front load this earlier in the day or first thing you eat off your plate during meals then even better. Also, drink two litres of water a day minimum.

Hydration helps with energy levels, fat loss, muscle contraction, hunger, and cravings. Again, this one can take a little getting used to. You'll often find yourself, you know, maybe you've gone three, four hours with it without having a drink. So I carry a large bottle of water around with me. Sometimes it's not ideal, but it definitely helps me with adherence and make sure that I hit, you know, two liters a day minimum.

Another thing, make sure you're close by to a toilet if you're not used to being this hydrated. Things to be mindful of are the hidden calories, them handfuls, the snacks, and especially your flavored coffees, and obviously beers. These calories add up fast, so be aware. Another limiting factor, sleep. Now this can be a difficult one, especially if you've got newborns or, you know, little ones.

Because there's nothing you can do, your sleep will be affected. But poor sleep has a huge detrimental effect on our ability to be fit, strong, and good dads. It leads to higher cravings, low energy, you and make worse decisions. And if you're like me, you get a little bit more ratty, a little bit more short with people, and then you'll feel bad because you know that you're the one in the wrong. So what makes us dads struggle with sleep?

Now one thing is normally your mind is racing, overthinking everything. Work. Am I doing enough for the kids? Is the missus happy? Am I earning enough?

How am I gonna pay for this and that? I've gotta take them here. How am I gonna fit that in? There's so many things that'll be running through your head, and we have to try and turn down that racing mind and get into a parasympathetic state and more relaxed. Aside from a racing mind, another thing affecting our sleep is when we're on our phones or watching TV or playing computer.

These are sleep killers. Now to try remedy these things, where do we start? There's so many different sleep protocols out there these days from the extreme to the basic, but a simple place to start is the three two one method for me. Three hours before bed, no more eating or snacking, so you're not being kept awake or woken up by digestion. Two hours before bed, stop working.

Stop checking them emails. Stop doing anything stressful. Allow your brain that time to wind down. Also, stop drinking fluids so you don't get woken up in the middle of the night needing a wee. And then one hour before bed, no phones or electronics.

The blue light emitted from laptops, phones or screens can impede the production of the hormone melatonin. This is what helps us sleep. Now this one will probably be the most challenging one for most of us by not doom scrolling, by coming off your phone. It seems just a natural thing to do to get into bed and go on your phone or watch TV, but try this and see how much better you sleep. Next up, a lack of structure or direction.

Now are you staying stuck because of a lack of structure? You might feel like you're trying. You're going to the gym. You're doing some weights. You're doing cardio.

You're on the cross trainer for half an hour, and you're trying to eat clean. But there's no real plan behind it. It's random. Random won't get you results, or it will take you an age to get there. One week, you'll train four times a week.

The next the next week, you'll train once. One week, you're doing low carbs. The next week, you're doing intermittent fasting. There's no progression, consistency, or direction. Yes.

There's effort. Yes. You might feel motivated with intent, but there's no system. With this, you'll get brain fatigue. What should I train today?

What should I eat? Am I doing enough? Is this even working? You'll overthink it. And this is where structure and direction change everything because structure removes the guesswork and the wasted time.

You now know. You have a plan. You follow something that progresses. And this can be the difference between someone who gets results and someone who doesn't. You have then fewer decisions to make.

Everything is laid out. Your training days, sorted. What am I aiming for food wise, sorted. What is my focus on each week, sorted. As a dad, your life is already full, so it's vital we don't waste energy thinking about it, but actually doing it and knowing that it's gonna work.

You haven't got the mental space to be figuring it out every day on the fly. You need simplicity, clarity, and something that's gonna fit your lifestyle. So if you're listening and feel like, yes, I am putting in the effort, but I'm not getting anywhere, ask yourself, do I have a plan, or am I winging it? Once you have structure and direction, everything becomes easier. And finally, mindset, particularly that all or nothing mindset.

You're either on it or you're not. You're all in or nothing, and one mistake breaks you. I'll start again Monday. I've messed up now, so what's the point? I hear it all the time.

But the point is, as a dad in your forties, don't expect life to give you a perfect week, maybe ever again. You've got work. You've got kids. You've got the stress. You've got socials.

Something is always gonna get in the way. So this plan of waiting for perfection is a bad plan. Getting into shape isn't training five or six times a week. It's not eating perfectly clean. It's not no missed sessions or bad meals.

The moment one slips, you're out. You're done. From a 100% to zero. This is the mindset we try to overcome. The guys that I'm working with that get in shape and stay in shape don't think like this.

They operate in the middle. They understand consistency always beats perfection. And I can hear it in their voice at first when they've had a bad day, and they're almost apologetic to me. I'm sorry. I messed up.

What shall I do? Maybe this isn't for me. Should I train extra now? But I'm kind of like, listen. Relax.

It's life. It's your life, and these are the things that are gonna come up and happen. So what do we do? We just get back to it. We don't drag it out.

We don't let it escalate. We don't overthink it. In the grand scheme, in the bigger picture, it's gonna be minor. Sometimes I'll hear the surprise in their voices in, that's it. Yeah.

That's it. Just get back to it. Nothing is always gonna be perfect. This is your lifestyle now. We have to build something that you can navigate around without it being a catastrophe if it doesn't go to plan.

You've had a busy week, so you could only train two times instead of four. You had a big social, so went over your calories. Fine. Don't let it spill into another day, and we're good. That's the difference.

It's not about messing up. It's about not letting one slip spiral. That's the mindset change needed for success. You're not starting again Monday. We're just continuing.

This isn't a short term push. This is your lifestyle now. Once we understand this, everything changes. You stop chasing perfection. You stop chasing perfect weeks and start stacking good days.

Good days, one after the other, build momentum, confidence, and results. 70 to 80% week in week out will always be a 100% for two weeks and then nothing for three weeks. Get this mindset right, and you'll not only get in shape, you'll stay there.