well hello all you beautiful people
you know what time it is
ladies and gents guys and dolls and
everyone in between
gather around get you something real
nice to sip on and comfy to slip on
cuz it's time for Smite Club here's your
hosts Chelsea and Hannah
[Music]
[Laughter]
hey everybody and welcome to Spot Club
i'm Hannah and I'm Chelsea
and this is the podcast where we are two
licensed therapists who occasionally
daydrink and talk about smut
i filled my glass of wine with a lot of
wine today i did see that
you're welcome
just for you looking forward to it i'm
drinking this for you
you're welcome
i once uh on a weekday was like "Hey
Vance I was thinking about like taking a
little edible." And then he was like
"Well I haven't really been planning on
it but yeah I'll match your freak." So
he takes an edible as well but my
favorite part was later that week
something came up and he was like
talking about earlier he's like "I got
high on a weekday
for you." And I'm like "Yes
it was all for me every last bit of it."
And that's become a ongoing joke over
the years since then i got high on a
Wednesday i did that on a weekday for
you
i love that i feel it it was all for me
i love that
you're welcome so deeply but you know
what he does on a weekday he edits this
podcast every week for us every other
week bless him
i love my husband so much yeah he's a
good husband he is i get sad for people
who aren't married to my husband
i'll take it back
i think I'm a very specific personality
and I think my husband is a very
specific personality and I think
together like Yes like we we just like
it makes sense you look at us and you're
like "Of course Chelsea and Vance would
find each other in every life they will
inevitably find their ways back to each
other." And I don't think like I get sad
for people whose marriages I'm like "Oh
marriage is like the dopest thing in my
life i love my marriage." I get really
bummed that you don't feel about your
marriage the way I feel about mine more
than more than I'm like "I feel so bad
for you that you're not married to my
husband." It's not that i know what you
mean yes yeah yeah yeah i'm like "Yeah
my marriage is You don't have this vibe
where you're like happy to see each
other every day." Like where you're just
like "Oh I get to hang out with my best
friend." Mhm yeah like that's Yeah i
don't know i talk to people I'm like "Oh
you just like why?" Like "No wonder you
think marriage is lame."
Mhm
yeah oh
maybe talk to them every night like yeah
yeah it doesn't have to be like this we
can do better
you your marriage can look like whatever
you decide you want it to look like mhm
you are the one who's choosing at this
point yeah choose your own destiny babe
yeah i remember talking to a close
friend recently and they were not that
they were having intimacy issues in
their relationship but their sex life
wasn't quite where they wanted it to be
and they were just like you know I
realized the only way my sex life is
going to get better is if I I'm the one
who has to like decide that right like
I'm the one who has to put that effort
in yep i have to decide I want it to
shift yeah literally and the same with
your marriage communication like you
have to decide you want it to shift if
you're not happy with the current
patterns of it mhm
and I don't offer couples counseling but
I love our therapists who do shout out
to y'all god bless the Gotman's for
giving us some some guiding the four
horsemen oh the four horsemen
i remember being so new into couples
counseling like I came from the world of
crisis and one of my individual clients
was like "Yeah I started couples
counseling with my husband the therapist
had us watch this video on the four
horsemen and I was like what the [ __ ] is
that i had no revelation yes literally I
was like I went to seminary i know how
this works i understand who rides the
pale horse i can do this i was like the
[ __ ] is stonewalling
a Yeah but the Gottman's really bless
yeah um okay so today
we are reviewing a book of a very
different dynamic
yes yeah um it is called Daddybod
from the Daddysized series
by Margot Scott of course it is yep mhm
we love Margot Scott and her affinity
for daddy dom little girl romances this
one is a novella it is a quick like I
think the entire book is like 70 pages
okay um so if you're looking for like a
quick read palette cleanser kind of read
yes yeah i'm like which I don't know i
feel like every book that I've been like
oh I've been like waiting for this book
to drop recently i pick it up and it's
like 489 pages i'm like I mean I can but
like then I read it I'm like you could
have done it in 289 yeah no one needed
Where what were you doing with that
extra 200 pages yep you can just use the
words he circled her [ __ ] like three
fewer times and it would really cut back
on the page count
you could have used a couple of less
descriptors for the penis we get it it's
It's thick it's manly it's velvet
wrapped it's steel we all You don't have
to say it anymore like we get it
so but I don't like when they use the
word purple me either i'm not a fan of
that that wasn't where I was going where
I was going is I hung out with some
friends last night and we were all
joking about how when you get to know
somebody well enough whether it's a work
colleague or a friend and you can like
order for them
from takeout and stuff like you know
that person right and we were discussing
for some reason hot dogs and I can't
tell you why because I don't remember
but what I do remember is that there's
one particular co-orker one particular
co-orker who anytime
we are ordering
from a restaurant that might happen to
serve hot dogs she always says ask them
if they're the thick and juicy ones
no she doesn't she does that is not real
she does it is real because she doesn't
like the thick and juicy ones and she
will tell you she wants She'll show you
with her hand she will show you with her
hand like how thick she wants the hot
dog to be and if you're the one
happening happening to call in the order
you get to be the one to ask if they
have thick and juicy hot dogs
is that how everyone chooses to ask that
question i don't know i have refused to
ask it but Hannah I don't know if I
could order for you i I I have no re No
but I also still feel like we're pretty
close we are pretty close but I don't
think I could order for you either i
feel like I have a general idea but I
don't think I could be specific about
what you would want from the Taco Bell
fiesta Potatoes i take it back
well way to make me feel shittier sorry
i was like I've it's only because I've
seen you door dash that like 800 times
when I was pregnant I did really go
through a cheesy PS to potatoes
that's not Here's the thing i like that
I said when I was pregnant that
I remember like I think my obsession
started as soon as I knew they existed
which I think my freshman year of high
school they're very good they really are
yeah vance didn't even know that they
existed until I was pregnant and ordered
them i was like "I'm really craving
cheesy cheesy fiest potatoes from Taco
Bell." And he's like "What are those?"
And I'm like "Oh the potatoes you going
to learn today." Yeah i was like "With
the queso and the sour cream." And he's
like "Yeah you're using words i still
haven't had them." I'm like "Oh okay
fair." Um 10 out of 10 would recommend
recommend yeah the other part of my
order would uh
be one of the spicy potato tacos
yes or I'll do a breakfast crunch wrap
in the morning with no bacon because it
has the hash brown in it i do love a
hash brown um and but I don't as a
vegetarian I like making the breakfast
crunch wraps meat-ree i don't feel like
the general crunch wrap does as well if
you just like it doesn't yeah like you
can add black beans it just it's not the
same so I've transitioned to fully
potato based i like that yes even Ford
his order is a little like is the the
cheat is the foldy with potatoes in it
instead of meat and he'll just sit on
the couch and nibble it and it's
adorable i love that anyways what's your
Taco Bell order so I don't feel as bad
well a crunch wrap um sometimes I'll do
a crunch wrap usually I will do a
chicken quesadilla most of the time but
I do like a crunch wrap yeah like I I
really feel confident in your snack
choices oh yeah snacks we've got it on
lock
like I could do that with my eyes closed
i could buy you snacks but yeah ordering
you real food hit or miss for both of us
yeah yeah we just we've ended up in more
snack territory over the years and
that's okay yeah yeah we're I don't know
why I'm feeling I was like we're snack
friends that sounds bad but it's not bad
it's good like snack friends makes us
sound more casual but it's not you were
one of the first people I texted when I
left my vibrator at my parents house
right like that that there's a level of
closeness assumed there there is yeah um
Okay so fun thing that happened last
time I went to my parents house I did
not leave my vibrator again i was very
Is a vibrator involved no and my parents
don't necessarily know that this
happened um so if any of y'all tell them
I'll [ __ ] know no snitches all right
snitches get stitches y'all don't be a
nerd don't tattle
um no we had like packed like a
thing of like edibles when we went and
one fell on the ground and I like
Brandon our dog ate it um a whole edible
and I was like what like we're like
going to bed and I was like whatever
he'll sleep great it'll be fine um so
like the next morning we wake up it's
like pretty early van like turn on our
sides and we like are spooning and like
the guest bed at my parents house i'm
like what's that seems kind of wet at
the end of the bed he's like no it's
just it's just cold
no Brandon with his edible
fully [ __ ] bed
like just got up like at like where our
feet are just like took a full dump on
the bed
and then went back to sleep afterwards
and so I like hopped on my parents like
"Hey do you guys have any like stain
removal stuff?" Uh woke up and like
Brandon like I don't know what happened
but like Brandon accident crazy yeah he
had an accident on the bed in the middle
of middle middle of the night my parents
like "Oh my gosh do you think like he
like got into anything do you think like
we like we put the candy bowl away so we
like couldn't like he wouldn't
accidentally eat any chocolate?" I'm
like "Yeah I don't know who can say?" So
crazy yeah i was like "This is the first
definitely uncharted territory with no
discernable reason attached to it."
I felt so bad i'm like "Poor Brandon
sorry Brandon." Yeah and I was like "Oh
like well," and here's the thing he ate
it it was very late and I'm like "I'm he
already ate it i can't I'm not gonna
like he's not going to be able to puke
it up also it's not going to hurt him."
So I'm like "Hopefully he'll just sleep
well." It's like and he did but he also
pooped well
yeah i felt real bad i'm like why is
there something that happens every time
we stay in this bedroom
cursed yes okay so so is Daddy Bod
cursed daddy Bod um not cursed
i'll be the judge well you know yeah
I'll I'll walk that back you You tell me
if it's cursed at the end so we start
with Jonathan jonathan is in his like
mid to late 40s okay
he's an electrician he is 6'8
he's a tall man he is Andre the Giant
i Wasn't Andre taller than that probably
i don't know i have I have a family
member who's 6'9
they lives his life banana pants my
family is fully like everybody's 5'9 or
below
and we are 57 and up
and and I'm the one who's dragging down
the average i was going to say I'm the
one who's bringing it up i'm the tallest
woman i'm the heaviest and my feet are
the biggest i wear a seven
you're a bird yeah I am the largest in
all ways in my family yeah 100% the
largest female in my whole family
literally a month ago I was on the phone
with my mom and she's like 5'7 yeah you
were supposed to be 5'11 probably all
those hormones we fed you as a kid i'm
like "Mom you got to let it go." 5'7's
still pretty good for my 53 yeah i'm
like "Hey mom the national average is
5'4 for women like I'm still doing okay
you're doing great i'm like just stand
next to be next time she's around and
it'll be fine i'm like why are you
lamenting the hormones you accidentally
fed me 20 years ago like longer drop it
so we've got a 68 [ __ ] we've got
a 68 electrician in his late 40s named
Jonathan noted Jonathan just bought a uh
a fixer upper it is a large house but
that was kind of the thought right he
like he's living in it as he fixes it up
just kind of room to room he's a pretty
solitary guy and he's also a guy who
like he's 6'8 but it sounds like he's
like a fluffier build and less of an
athletic build 68 so a dad bod if you
will yeah a daddy bod right uh his size
tends to intimidate people in a way that
like it's kind of over the years made
him just more of a solitary guy like
he's aware he intimidates people it's
not what he's setting out to do so he
just kind of keeps to himself um he gets
home from work and there's a random
knock on the front door and he's like
"Okay." So he goes and there's a cute
little like 19-year-old girl at the door
and she's like "Hey I saw that this was
this place was listed with a room for
rent i wanted to see if it was still
available." And he's like "That must
have been posted from the last owner and
they never took down the posting." He's
like "Cuz I bought the house and I am
not advertising for a roommate." Yeah uh
but he can also tell
she's a little desperate like and he's a
little like I I want to make sure that
she's safe are you okay like yeah you're
saying you need a place to stay pretty
fast like you're right
yes and like to the point where he's
like "Well like I do have a spare room
that like you you kind of seem
desperate." So he's giving her a tour
and like the post said that the room was
like $400 and he's like "This whole
house is like [ __ ] [ __ ] show disaster
construction." So he's like "Yeah rent
would be like 200 a month." Just
whatever yeah like he's like "I wasn't
this was not on my bingo card for today
i just got home from work i wasn't
expecting anyone to knock on the door
but you clearly need need something."
And he's like "Yeah." So like rent will
be 200
due to its condition right like he's
just like "We're setting expectations
low." Yes and she's like "Okay so like
rent would go up once like the
renovations are finished." And he's like
"Yeah sure yeah we'll we'll cross that
bridge that sounds like a conversation
for future us
current us table it 200 a month i don't
even know what I would do if someone
offered I would assume I was paying with
sexual favors if someone told me I only
had to pay 200 a month in rent i'd be
like in this economy okay no I
understand here so full-time I am just
doing whatever you want to your body and
face potentially
hand face potentially but to supplement
that 200 I can do that like okay
i mean you drive a hard bargain
depending on the location that's a deal
i'm not gay but 20 is 20 you know
uh so he once again he can like tell she
very much needs a place she's like "Okay
like I can do 200." and he's feeling
some sense of relief and he's like "Okay
thank God she'll have a safe place there
will be a roof over her head i don't
fully know." And she's like "Can I move
in tomorrow?" And he's like "Oh it's
like that." Okay he's like he's like
"Are you living in your car you can just
stay here tonight." Like yeah well he's
like "Yeah like what time?" And she's
like "Well like what time do you work?"
And he's like "I leave for work at
7:00." She's like "I'll be here at
6:30." A like that sort of just he's
like he can tell yeah it's not not quite
right yes so switch to April april is
the 19-year-old co-ed who knocked on his
door she needs a place to live because
her stepmother is
in the most
professional
wording I can use a [ __ ]
so
recently I had a client who
um I was seeing weekly Mhm on Tuesdays
and at the end of our session I said
"All right man i'll see you next
Tuesday." And hung up the f the video
call and then I was like
"But I will i'll literally see you next
like no really." Like "I will really
literally actually see you next Tuesday
i'm so sorry."
I've thought about that repeatedly
happened like a month ago and I'm still
like "Oh my god
do you feel like it's impeding your
therapeutic rapport no I don't think he
remembers it at all pretty sure i do
though my favorite is the reverse of
that when you like hold a session and
like a month later you're talking to a
client and they're like "So like a month
ago when we met you just said this thing
and I've been Yep i've been ruminating
on it ever since." And you're like "What
the [ __ ] did I say a month ago?" Oh god
i hope that past me was like
professional and insightful [ __ ] yeah i
hope it wasn't like when my client told
me she had two dates with two different
guys over the weekend and I said "Well
make sure you shower in between." And
that was how we ended the session
she told me she's like "I immediately as
as soon as we hung up that session she's
like I text three friends and was like
yo my therapist just trolled me so hard
fred me for filth that's incredible i
was like
as soon as I said it I was like [ __ ]
[ __ ] yeah we've all been there where you
say something and you're like please
don't call attention to it please don't
call attention to it can we please just
tacitly agree to never reference this
again but unfortunately no this was a
client that I'm like we're like 5 years
into our therapeutic relationship for me
oh yeah
i had another client who was like "Yeah
I gave your your name to a friend who
was looking for a therapist and was like
"Chelsea's great." Like sometimes she'll
just like lightly roast you i'm like
"What is this energy that I'm
me just gently calling your attention
that's what you came for that is what
you are paying me for." Is it a roast if
it's accurate and for your benefit if
it's billable is it still a roast
ted Dansen wants to know cuz he's still
really upset about the Whippy Goldberg
situation he has a lot to repair
ted my favorite thing about Ted Dancing
was apparently when The Good Place came
out
all of like the cast had NDAs for like
the first season so like they like
wouldn't spoil it and Ted apparently
couldn't keep it to himself so he would
be like "Yeah I'm working on this new
show." And people would be like "Yeah
sounds cool man." and be no like you
don't get it so we kept like telling
everyone I really enjoy him a lot he's
so pure ted is Ted is the best so okay
so we're moving in step
April stepmister like truly uh she so
they kicked her out stepmom and her dad
kicked her out when they found out how
she was paying for school she was paying
for school fans as a cam girl yep um
stepmom has always kind of been a [ __ ]
like when she was younger stepmom would
be like "Oh like
it like when she'd like go to like eat
another cookie," she's like "Oh eat that
you're not going to fit on Santa's lap."
Like that sort of just like Yeah body
shaming negativity gross yes and so what
put all of this into motion was that
April was like "I'm sick of her body
shaming me i just want to live my life
i'm gonna eat the second serving if I
want to eat the second serving and it's
okay get it April um and stepmom was
like "Oh I'm sorry you no longer see
yourself as a worthy investment."
And if you don't view yourself as a
worthy investment like if you won't
invest in yourself why would we we
invest in your tuition
yeah so my see you next Tuesday wording
was uh accurate
had a motivator behind it for sure right
and dad is just like back in the [ __ ]
like dad's just like that's like worse
somehow yeah like dad loves his daughter
but not enough to like actually do
anything about it exactly i love you but
not enough to act on it so just take my
word for it that I really do love you
yes and so I guess the whole shtick with
her cam channel is she's an aspiring
librarian that's what she's in school
for she's a virgin and she reads erotica
while wearing lingerie she never strips
fully naked she never like
self-stimulates or anything like that
just reads erotica while wearing
lingerie does she read it out loud or
it's just her silently sitting there i
was like "Why are we watching that?" I
was like "Why are we watching?" So we're
just watching someone read silently i
was like why are we watching that
important clarifying question oh my god
sorry she is reading out loud to her
viewers followers yeah yes okay um
she goes back to the house to grab all
of her stuff like she's moving all of
her stuff out single-handedly her dad
helps her move her mattress when she
asks him to and even at that she's like
"Why do you always take her side?" And
he's like "I don't always take her
side." And he's like "But like it you
didn't have to like be a cam girl like
you and I could have worked something
out quietly to like pay for your tuition
behind your stepmom's back." Yeah and
she's like "We shouldn't have to do this
behind her back." Like that's the whole
like "What the [ __ ] Dad?" sort of
situation why do we have to hide that
you're supportive of me like why is that
a secret yes exactly so it's now the
following evening so she's all moved in
yes so Jonathan is on his way home from
work he's rushing home with a pizza to
see April yes cuz did she eat he's
probably worried about it he is well
like he cuz she got there at 6:30 and he
left for work at 7:00 and he like helped
her move her mattress in and he's like
what 19year-old is so like so desperate
to be some like they showed up car fully
loaded at 6:30 the next morning ready to
go like right to move in with a strange
man in his 40s in a house that's under
construction like oh the further we go
the more concerning it gets like oh damn
Right and he like he's very cognizant of
that at some level and so he rushes home
cuz he like wants to see her wants to
make sure she's okay see how the day
went
and so he brought a pizza back and he
calls he's like "Hey I'm home i brought
dinner." Sort of energy and he like
doesn't hear anything so he goes up to
knock on her door with all the
construction she in her lingerie no the
latch on the door is broken um and so
when he goes to knock on the door it
like caks open and he hears the water
running from her on suite and he's like
"Oh she's in the shower." But he sees a
tripod
and laptop set up with like a tapestry
hanging on the wall behind it like the
camera is focused on the bed and he's
like "What you doing who did I let into
my house?"
Yes uh he like goes over and sees that
like the name of the website it's
attached to is Dream Cams Live so he has
some inkling uh but but then he hears
the shower water like the water turn off
so he like goes to like sneak out and as
he's going back down the stairs she
hears a creek and she's like "Oh like
did you call me?" He's like "Oh dinner's
Yeah I got like pizza it's here like let
me know if you like want some."
Your face your face is saying so much
but also not anything i'm thinking about
the time
a friend of mine who's a photographer
years ago had decided that she wanted to
get into like the budwoir situation like
as it was starting to pick up and I was
like I would love to do that for Matt's
birthday sure like if you're trying to
build your portfolio I'd be happy to do
it
so she found an apartment to rent by the
hour
in Atlanta
oh no i don't love this on some kind of
like it was like a a site specifically
for like gig workers and and like
photographers things like that who would
need to do something like that
and the guy renting the room was like
"Yeah when you check in or like when you
go go in there's going to be a guy at
the desk do not tell him that you're
renting by the hour just let him know
like what unit you're looking for and
they'll send you up don't worry about
it." Yep this feels great and I was like
"Porn has been shot here." Like just to
be clear
porn has been shot here and I'm going to
be in my underwear so there are certain
things I'm not going to touch just for
the record like
we'll be doing that my sister-in-law and
brother-in-law were doing an Airbnb out
of their basement for a long time like
had its own entrance like full private
people could come and go as they please
but someone had asked they're like "Hey
we like don't need it overnight but we
would love to use the space for a photo
shoot." And then when the photos were
like found later I'm like "This is porn
this is Yeah i was like "That's a print
I made you in your basement love that
it's featured in porn." Um
yeah the photos I took were never
published
for others to see but yeah were they
used for her portfolio
yeah but she did like blur on my face
and stuff i was like I'm so covered in
tattoos though it doesn't really matter
yeah I was going to say your tattoos are
pretty distinct regardless yeah like I
didn't have all the tattoos I have now
in those photos but still it's like you
know if somebody was curious enough they
could figure it out i'm like yeah you
can blur out my face and I don't know
many people who have a full floral world
map from their left shoulder blade onto
their right tricep like I think it's
going to give me away yeah I did wear a
clown mask in some of the pictures oh my
god oh my god oh my god to troll my
husband i did do that i don't think I
trolled him i think I made him hard
your your husband loves ICP he does but
I don't think the twisty mask with me
topless like did it i don't think that
was the one but it was pretty funny for
him to be looking at the pictures and
they go "Oh
yeah mhm i did do that i had a friend
back in Nashville who was a very very
talented photographer and her and her
husband had just started renting this
like super cute studio in a very like
trendy part of town that like the rent
was just like the rent might honestly
have been more than my mortgage is now
but she was like but I can use it for
budoir as well and I was like I don't I
don't know if I want that many photo
shoots happening in my living room like
when they leave this is still the space
that I exist in
no not for me no not for me so he tells
her there's the pizza she was like "Yeah
let me I just got out of the shower i'm
not done joining you for dinner." Um
it's funny because when she comes
downstairs she's holding a orange tabby
cat that like has been a stray he's been
feeding but she's holding the cat and
she's like "You didn't tell me you have
a cat." And he's like "I don't." And
she's like "Oh
probably shouldn't have let it inside
then but now that it's here would you
like a cat?" How do you feel about the
name Mango
cute they feel great about the name
Mango so now they have a cat together
named Mango but while they're sitting
and eating he's just like enthralled
that she's there he thinks she's so
pretty he's just like checking her out
he's very aware that she threw on
clothes post shower and is not wearing a
bra but also because of her upbringing
she's sitting there and he's like
checking out her boobs and she's seeing
him stare at her while eating and she's
just like he thinks I'm really fat yeah
like like she's like "I like to eat."
And he's like "Yeah who doesn't?" And I
love that for you he's like "That's a
cool fact." Like
are we just saying things we like yes i
like your boobs like "Okay."
She asks uh while they're eating if
she's like "Hey like would you be able
to fix the latch on my door it's
broken." And he's like "Yeah no
problem." So he grabs his toolbox when
they're done eating and goes up and by
the time he goes up they're like the
camera and everything has already been
put away so he's like
"Okay now I know i get it." Yeah but he
fixes the door goes back to his room
it's now late they're going to bed and
he's like I'm going to look up her
channel and fantastic news she's
streaming right now
so he joins the stream from across the
hall
yeah maybe on the first floor maybe it's
a master on Maine who can say
but he also like he very much is
intrigued by her thinks she's stunning
is very into her but is also like
she's a child who clearly has some [ __ ]
going on
let's tread carefully here sort of
energy i can objectify her in secret
yeah like when he's like he watches the
channel and is also like this is the
closest I'll ever get to having April
for myself a is like the the thought
behind it right so like
kind of creepy yeah but also like
his heart was
he's trying yeah we can give him that
yes so as he joins she's finishing
reading a story and is engaging with the
comments and she's wearing her cute
little lingerie and someone is like "Oh
I'd love a private bedtime story." She's
like "Oh like you got to pay extra if
you want to go into a private room." And
Jonathan's like "Fuck that she's not
going." So like he pays the full amount
for a private room and he's like "We I
got him i don't want her going into a
private room with another username on
here i want her going into a private
room with Electric J20 you know?"
Yeah i I don't think he felt that
strongly about his username he's in his
mid-40s he's just creating a username to
see the content not like my husband who
still uses Squiggy Tubs to this day in
his mid-40s
squiggy tubs you heard me squiggy Tubs
yep vance uses Vzy as his like username
and like gaming name for everything but
then whenever he's had to make profiles
or like things for me now I'm cheesy
cute and it's just kind of continued i'm
like honestly it's kind of easy for I
like it yeah i don't use it anywhere
else if anyone called me cheesy I would
not reply to it cuz I would not know
that they were referencing me a but you
know when I'm playing Mario Party I'll
gladly be cheesy sure so he pays the max
amount to go into a private room uh and
she's like "Okay so what like what kind
of story would do you want?" and she's
like going down the list of options that
she has and she's like "Oh I have some
that are like daddy dom baby girl." And
she's and so in the chat I do find it
interesting because there are several
interactions that they have in this
novella where he's typing and she's
replying right right right okay cuz
she's a cam girl right like a Twitch
situation almost yeah like cuz it is
live so it's literally just replying to
the comment and so he's like "Oh like
does that turn you on?" Like daddy do
little baby girl and she's like "It
does." Like I've never like said it i
don't really like normally tell people
that sort of energy she asks him if he's
hard and he's like "From the moment I
saw you."
It's different when you know that he's
down the hall yep and then she gets to
reading the erotica and like that's kind
of how that scene ends is them starting
this online relationship in this regard
all right mhm
sit break
we're not sponsored by Boa Box but it
would be a lot cooler if we were
you guys can just sit and # goals listen
to my sip sounds
we've already established we don't like
ASMR
i really don't no me either i really
don't no i could watch all of the rug
cleaning videos on TikTok with none of
the sound effects yes i I literally
listen to them on silent yeah or
sometimes I'll just speed to the end
like there's a point like there was one
recently I was like this rug cleaning
video is 6 minutes long too much we're
doing too much i am not this passionate
get a new rug i can't do that with you
yeah no I I actually did get a new rug
because my the runner in my front
entryway has the side of it has been
curled since we got it like it had like
sticky pads on the bottom still curled
could not get this rug fully flat to
save my life we've had it for like 5
years vance was like "You know we can
just get a rug we like better right?"
the freedom I felt in that moment that I
had not like processed before i was like
"Oh my god I can I could do that i could
do that right now i did." There you go
of course the one I ordered I thought
was in stock with Teimu but it wasn't it
was a pre-order and then it will be
shipped by sea so you know I'll see it a
couple of months from now 2026 2027
maybe
but I like my knee-jerk reaction as soon
as I ordered the rug i threw out the old
one so now we're just rugless
heathens we're just raw dogging it in
our front lobby not raw dogging living
on the edge without a front runner
right i'm sure when you walked in my
house today you were like "The vibes are
off." First thing I noticed I was like I
cannot believe there's no front runner
in here ridiculous
you're like quite frankly I don't want
to be dramatic but this might impact our
friendship long term
like I don't know if I can be here
physically emotionally i don't feel
comfortable i don't feel safe physical
and emotional safety are paramount and I
don't feel them with the removal of that
rug
okay so it's a few weeks later sure oh
so we've been living together for quite
some time now yeah i'd say we're maybe
like 2 weeks later i don't know but they
definitely seem to have like found a bit
routine of a rhythm yeah they're
definitely setting into their roommate
routines jonathan is very sweet and like
does little things where like they're
like eating breakfast and he's like "I
filled your tires with air." And she's
like "What tires?" And he's like "Your
your your car tires they look low so I
filled them with air." And she's like
"Oh thanks." Like just very tires need
air that's the energy she's giving to me
i don't know exactly i'm like "April
pause think about it for a second how
many other tires do you have i have some
questions right and where would we be
putting air if not in your tires on your
vehicle i'm like did you bring a bike is
that like It's my six-speed my Schwin
topping up my Schwin
okay i think we've talked about this
before the Virginia Creeper Trail mm-m
so it is it doesn't start in Damascus
Virginia but that's where the uh Happy
Shack bike shuttle place that we rent
from historically they are in Damascus
Virginia so I think the whole trail for
the Virginia Cooper Trail is like 34
miles in total we do half of it so we do
17 miles and it is the old train tracks
oh okay and so it's called the creeper
trail because it's on like a 6% grade
and so the train would slowly creep up
the mountain and so people would be like
"Oh yeah it looks like it's creeping
because of the the steep incline." So
that's how it got its name right um I
don't go uphill I go downhill so we go
to Damascus Virginia we pay the nice
people at the shuttle shack our money
they drive us up to the top of the
mountain with the bike that they have
let me borrow and then I coast that
[ __ ] downhill for 17 miles and at the
end I go I just rode 17 miles [ __ ]
and even though I'm like it 15 were
downhill the final two I was I was
pedled a little bit
but there's a dude
and I don't know especially because the
creeper trail was absolutely impacted by
the hurricanes last year uh he has done
the full creeper trail i want to say
both ways like up and down every day for
like 20s something year like something
insane that is bananas and there was a
day where I was struggling going
downhill and I passed him like the
iconic I was like holy [ __ ] that's the
dude i'm like that man is not even
[ __ ] struggling that man just rides
his bike 34 miles uphill at a 6% grade
on a daily basis
it could never be me mostly because I
never learned to ride a bike but also
because I would not do that kind of
physical activity
i'm learning new things about you you
don't know how to ride a bike no neither
does Kay really yes cuz we when uh Kay
and Austin came up to my parents house
with us a couple years ago and we're
like "Oh we should all go to the the
creeper trail." And Kay was like "Well I
don't know how to ride a bike so that
would not be fun for me." Not for me
yeah kay and I could hang out and drink
while you guys do the creeper trail but
yeah I I'm fascinated all right do your
sisters know how to ride yep both of
them uh-huh
mhm
the face you're making right now you're
like "Yeah yeah I'm aware they sure do
they sure should know how to ride a
bike." Yeah great question Chelsea great
question yeah there's a lot of things
about being a middle child that are just
different you know and me not knowing
how to ride a bike is one of them so
yeah I just never learned do you have
any desire to learn no no I don't yeah
not at this juncture so like if Matt
surprised you and like I bought you like
a bike you wouldn't be like this is a
great surprise i'd be like I can't ride
one why would you do that
it'd be a weird use of money knowing I
can't ride okay what if it had training
wheels sure I give it a go whatever i
don't have any dignity left it's not
like training wheels would hurt it
although to find an adult bike with
training wheels on it might be a whole
different issue like what about training
wheels and your whole response is
essentially yeah you can't emotionally
hurt me so
I guess we could do some training the
emotional damage has been done i mean
no no no oh my god it's fine it's fine
my cousin did try to teach me once when
I was 15 when we were on the beach but
um I wouldn't call it successful i could
sort of go in a straight line but like
turning was not a thing you know i would
liken that to when I was taught how to
drive stick i'm like was I given a
lesson absolutely technically yes could
I execute if left to my own devices
absolutely [ __ ] not also just to be
clear I learned to drive stick in a 99
tel in the mountains of Montana
and when you're learning how to like
take your foot off like and like what
that can when you hit the clutch and
when you go into neutral and all that
stuff yeah learning that on a hill where
when you take your foot off you start
rolling backwards was so intimidating
and I vividly remember my best friend
trying to teach me to drive stick in her
car we're on a hill and I look over and
there's just grinding every gear there's
a couple on a walk seeing what's
happening recognizing what's happening
and just dying laughing and I'm like
you you you know what i hope you enjoy
every bit of this moment you earned it i
I earned it for you happy to share this
with you
i learned to drive stick in Florida
which is flat so Well that's where I met
Joanne so I Why did you go all the way
to Montana to learn to drive stick cuz
the [ __ ] moved my best friend moved and
I had to follow her want to see you next
Tuesday also one time on that same trip
I went out to visit her twice in Montana
while she was living there she's now in
Texas but when she was living in Montana
we started she was like "Yeah let's
drive up the mountain cuz it's a
beautiful view and there's like a ski
lodge up at the top." Cool sounds great
uh so we go to Dairy Queen and get some
blizzards to eat sure it is the
beginning of March in Montana chile
there is a blizzard happening yeah she's
like "We should drive up this mountain."
Halfway up the mountain i'm like "How
long does it take to get there like how
much further is it?" And she goes "I
don't know i've never made it all the
way."
I went "The [ __ ] did you just say?" And
she's like "Yeah last time I like slid
into a tree I just sat and played my
guitar until someone could come and get
me." Is it important to you to make it
to where we're going today
luckily like she did live at the base of
the mountain okay so we if we kept
walking we would have found her fiance
turned now husband eventually who's
former military he's a very capable
human sure he has her name tattooed on
his neck it's intimidating that is
intimidating it really is that is so
much commitment
yeah they hit a rough patch for a while
and that came up awkward yeah he was
like "What do I do i have your name
tattooed." And I remember literally
thinking "Really hope you all get
through it." They did yeah doing great
well thank God for that but did also
I've had I'm like "Oh a a name neck
tattoo." Yeah cuz I have a couple's
tattoo but you would never know that
i have
two matching tattoos with my husband and
two tattoos for my husband right and
none of them just say
dance i think it was Ron Fanches who had
the stand up where he's like "I saw a
neck tattoo that said [ __ ] Linda." He's
like "Either that person really loves
Linda or really hates Linda." Either way
Linda could probably do better but like
I've got for Linda justice for Linda
okay so it's a couple weeks later
they've fallen into this like roommate
routine and he's doing sweet things like
filling her tires with air
and then um also worth noting electric
J20
has bought every private session for the
rest of the month so the work on the
house is halted because he doesn't have
any money well no he does well he works
a full-time job so he only works in his
house on the weekend and this is the
weekday evenings yes cuz he's still
electrician oh right right right yes
okay so he's also capable of fixing a
lot of things in his house it's not like
he's like I've got some YouTube
tutorials and a lot of heart
yikes which for the record is what my
husband has and he does great work i was
going to say my husband has done a lot
with YouTube including fixing my oven
which was pretty intense vance made me
arched built-in bookshelves incredible
from YouTube tutorials maybe Tik Tok
tutorials yeah either way right there is
a lot to be gained sure but I do also
feel like maybe not with electricity
though well and I don't know if Here's
the problem on the flip side there are
now things where I'm like "This seems
broken we should call someone." And
Vance is like "I bet I could fix it."
And I'm like "Damn it Vance okay why
don't you try to fix it let me know how
it goes."
watch
our oven sats
into that he's like I think I've done
all I can
and then we called someone finally and
they're like yeah this [ __ ] is broken
yeah i'm like I knew i knew months ago
our element blew out of our oven which
was horrifying by the way because it's
like an a a light bulb going out where
it like flares bright and then pops oh
that's terrifying it was pretty
terrifying for me to experience um but
Matt did figure out how to replace the
full element and it really upset me
because I wanted a new oven
but he was so proud of himself for
fixing it so I had an ex who crashed his
car into someone else he was at fault in
the accident we're just going to say
that from the jump call a spade a spade
but we were living in Tennessee
his car had been purchased and was
registered to California and in
Tennessee they were like "Oh because of
the amount of damage you're over the
threshold so your car is now considered
totaled because it would cost so much to
fix it." And and then they went "Oh wait
your car is technically registered in
California it's worth more there your
car is not totaled there so I guess
we'll fix it because of the insurance
standards for being totaled so he like
fully He's like "Okay well this is
shitty but at least I get a new car out
of this situation." Jokes on you [ __ ]
yep jokes on you you crashed it and you
still drive it it will be your car after
forever that happened to me when I was
driving my 1999 Buick Regal and somebody
rearended me and totalled her car
because that [ __ ] is made out of steel
fully and so it just looked like it was
turning to the left my car her car the
front end was gone like she hit me on 85
oh rear ended me on 85 yeah how fast do
you have to be going to rear end someone
on 85 holy [ __ ] really fast really fast
i had a concussion it was really bad
but they were like "Well we're gonna fix
your car regardless whether it was
totaled or not." And I was like "Can I
please have a new car it's 2013 and I
would love so much to not be driving a
1999 Buick Regal where none of the
electrics work including the gas gauge
so I just have to feel it if I have to
put gas in the car." Like but no they
just fixed it unfortunately the on my
drive to moving to Texas my entire power
steering column went out i had to get it
replaced the week I moved to Texas and
then beyond that once it was fixed the
gas gauge never worked quite right again
so after when it would hit a quarter
tank I was like I could have 200 miles
left i could have 20 m left i guess
we'll find out when we hit the highway
baby literally and the number like I
missed a therapy appointment i had to
call my therapist and be like "Hey I'm
not going to make our session i'm on the
side of 183
waiting for a tow truck because my gas
has left my car does my car say it has
plenty of gas?" Yes mhm mhm yep but here
we are and you know what if I had
electric J20 he would have filled my car
with gas i wouldn't even be in this
situation tires gas oil you would have
been cruising to that therapy
appointment yeah would have been able to
work through the emotional trauma where
were you electric J i've been holding
that trauma for 10 years now jonathan
was on with a cam girl apparently with
April the cam girl
uh so yes he's now bought up all of the
sessions and so flip I guess we're we're
still on April's perspective uh she sees
her dad calling her and she's like "Oh
this is the first time my dad has called
me since I've moved does he does he care
does my dad finally care about me?" So
she's like "Hi what's up?" It's the
stepmom being like "Well I guess you are
alive." Seeing that like yeah she's the
worst um and like just automatically is
like "Oh well have you found a new job
yet do you need money how are you paying
for your rent?" Like all of these and
April's like "Yeah like the house is
still under construction but would love
to have you guys over for dinner." And
like is just trying to be like "Yeah
wants the relationship to be anything
other than what it is." And also that's
a little bit of like I don't know maybe
I'm interpreting this like a little bit
of a [ __ ] you as like a Yeah no I'm
doing great come see the place like
right love to have you yeah you threw me
out because I was a cam girl because you
decided my size disqualified me from
having my college tuition paid for
yes livid yeah like I feel my chest i
was going to say like right in here
right in my chest yeah
so that night when April and Electric
Jay are having their cam date
it seems as though they've like started
having some more personal conversation
so he knows a little bit about her
Electric Jay not as Jonathan knows a
little bit about the family and so she's
telling Electric Jay how she has invited
her parents over for dinner um and that
she's like bummed that her dad still
hasn't reached out and like in the chat
Jonathan's like "Any father would be
lucky to have you in his life i know I
would." And then she's like "Do you want
to be my dad Jay?" Like that like so
we're
The energy is shifting yeah yeah yeah i
feel the energy shifting 1,000% it's not
subtle
nor is it trying to be yeah subtle is
not a word in this synopsis um also he
had sent maybe I guess probably to a PO
box but sent her an outfit to wear uh so
like sent her some little lingerie so
she's wearing the little like set that
he got her on their their date and she
chooses another Daddy Dom little girl
kind of story line and as she's reading
through this one it's definitely
arousing and like doing everybody's into
it yeah yes and the situation is
escalating and so he's still chatting
but once again she's responding verbally
and so it kind of starts like the if I
were there I would take such good care
of you like well what would you do and
so he's like walking her through the
scene um and at one point I forget
exactly when uh but she ends up turning
the camera because she has never been
fully nude on She's like "I don't."
She's like "I I don't do that." Yes and
so like at one point he's like "Are you
wet like show me your wet panties." And
then or "Show me how wet you are." And
you can like tell that she's a little
like "Oh I don't." And he's like "That's
my boundary." Like well he's like "Just
show me the wet spot like you don't need
to like bury yourself to me sort of
energy
so she ends up shifting the camera so he
can watch her face uh but cannot see
below the waist as she is masturbating
on camera an escalation yes
and so it's like one of those things
where it's like I'd ask my baby girl
like where she wants daddy to touch her
and she's like I wish you were my daddy
and so like this whole situation is is
kind of starting and he's like I want to
see you come she says she wants daddy to
be her first she's imagining at this
point
both Jonathan and Electric Jay as like
two
like she hasn't connected these dots yet
by any she's thinking about Jonathan
while this is going on cuz she's into
him and all of his 68 glory yes and like
all of the ways he just like
takes care of her without Yeah
expectation
in a way that like clearly her family
has not supported her or taken care of
her as such um so
when she's like I want daddy to be my
first and he's like that's because your
daddy's good girl and I love you so and
she's like so she ends up like orgasming
then as she's coming down she's like
"Okay well he like said he loved me."
But like that was probably just like the
heat of the moment he probably meant he
loves this interaction we're having yes
me as a person i love you too but like
it's kind of like I don't
I if I'm remembering correctly and I
forgot to put this in my outline like
he's like "No like I said what I like
clarifies." Yeah I meant what I said
yeah very much um so now we're going to
jump to the next weekend where her
parents are coming over for dinner that
night
yes um
they've been working on the house more
consistently throughout the week knowing
that this is happening like she's
clearly nervous wants it to be nice
wants it to to be a special evening
jonathan's also kind of like I'm your
landl like for all intents and purposes
like I don't need to be at this dinner
like yeah I don't need it keep working
on the house you have dinner
elsewhere
um when they get to the house the
stepmom her name is Eloise i forget the
dad's name doesn't really matter eloise
doesn't really matter right either uh
but like Eloise is like once again
immediately
critical a [ __ ] yeah just like critical
making all these comments being like "Oh
is is he joining us for dinner?" And
April's like "No he's he's really busy."
And like the like "Wow I can't believe
your new landlord is self that he
wouldn't even come to the dinner that
you made." Like just those sort of like
"Yeah but he's my landlord not my lover
or my friend so why would he come?" Well
and also on the flip side like and
Jonathan said he's like "Yeah I get
where as if your 19-year-old daughter
moves in with someone you'd probably
want to know who the [ __ ] she was living
with." Yeah but that also doesn't seem
to be the motivator for the stepmom
right it's more just to be like if he
had shown up she'd be like "Well right."
Well and so he does because April like
pops her head into whatever room he's
working it's like "Hey like they like
I'm Can you go meet them?" Yeah like
they'd love to meet you and so at this
point he's like "I'm going to join
them." Yeah for for dinner and as
they're sitting at at dinner the stepmom
is like "Oh it's like have you gotten a
new job like I noticed you haven't been
at your desk in weeks and like Jonathan
starts realizing he's like how often is
her stepmom checking her cam feed to
like see that like she hasn't been like
why is she so obsessed with like
[ __ ] on her like oh like what did
you get a new job how are you paying for
your rent like just that sort of Yeah
real like underhanded very underhanded
at no point explicitly saying anything
but like very much trying to subtly
imply that April is prostituting herself
mhm for room and board which by the way
sex work is valid work but like maybe if
you hadn't kicked her out for eating
that second cookie yeah you know like
what are you trying to do here yes for
the record sex work is valid work
everyone is valid like
by no means [ __ ] on on
I know I know but I also just like felt
like I like still needed to say it yeah
but yes very much just like trying to
like be like "Oh like so how are you
afford?" So how much is rent here right
and April's like "Oh a couple hundred."
But like I fully expect that to go up
like when renovation exactly right like
really made uh her grandma's mac and
cheese recipe and when she served it to
her stepmom she's like "Wow could you
have like chosen a more like fattening
dish?" Yes and so she's like "Okay why
don't you just give that piece to dad
and I'll like cut you a smaller piece?"
Like that sort of energy just trying to
keep the piece yes and like Johnson is
just like getting like more and more
pissed by the moment cuz he's like "What
the [ __ ] is happening here?" And like
April starts like trying to apologize to
Jay Electric Jay Jonathan whatever your
name you want to use right like what her
stepmom is like clearly implying
and Jonathan is like "No need to
apologize baby girl." And then she's
kind of like "Wait did he just say
"Baby?" And then and then stepmom's like
"What did he just say?" And he's like
"That's none of your [ __ ] business
what I said or what I didn't say she
made this beautiful dinner because she
wanted this to be a nice experience
you're being an [ __ ] you're not being
supportive of her at all." And then he
looks at her dad and he's like "What the
[ __ ] is your problem man?" Like "What
are you doing why are you even here?"
Exactly he's like "You have an
incredible daughter and you do nothing
to defend her or like stand up for her
like you should be so lucky as to have a
daughter that you can support in that
way." And so just like fully goes off on
the parents April sitting there
shocked right shook right and they end
up leaving right and so then like as
soon as they leave though walks back in
it's like "So baby girl huh?" So
you're Jay
she's like I might be making a leap but
it seems to be and he tells her he's
like he's like I am i found your your
channel he's like please know like I
have no expectations that anything will
ever go further like I meant everything
I said when like everything I told you
was true i do love you uh if you believe
nothing else like believe that but like
I I I promise you I wasn't like just
like trying to like be a creep like I do
i I love you a And then she's like
offers her wrist and it's like then love
me daddy it's like what
she wasn't offering the wrist her wrist
felt like she's being handcuffed
she held his hands i don't know she did
something that was like a I'm imagining
like going up to a cop and being like
"Take me daddy." Like "Excuse me right
now."
Also then I'm thinking of all of the
police officers I I know in real life
who are like "You don't cuff in the
front you dumbass."
That's not That's not going to be the
sexy experience you're thinking it'll be
i know you think you're trying to do
something but you're not doing what
you're trying to do right now no no no
yeah so we go from like then love me
daddy like they go upstairs they have
Did he tie her up or did he just take
her hand it doesn't matter yeah he
didn't tie her up they have their
solidifying [ __ ] very much i think
something that stood out to me about how
this like they they write Margot writes
a scene versus some other like not
necessarily by Margot but just daddy
down little girl romances
um is I feel like in some books it can
sometimes read as a little bit more of
like a mental regression that they
haven't talked about where you're like
ooh this feels like is this a trauma
response that they're like age
regressing like this like if this works
for your dynamic I'm not against it but
like there should also be convers
conversations about it and I think
matters in this kind of situation yeah
and I think from April's perspective
there was also
acute awareness of
the role she's playing in that moment
right like at one point like like he
takes his dick out and she's like "Oh
that's so big daddy like is this how you
like like do can you teach me how you
like it sucked?" And like like and then
when he like like in the book where his
eyes get huge and her internal monologue
is like I might be better at this role
play than he anticipated but like I am
killing it right now kind of recognizing
like that that is the role a role versus
I think some books it there's no
conversation about it and it reads like
a regression i'm like well no now we're
just entering like mental instability in
a way that doesn't feel as good to
navigate versus
identifying the role that you're playing
that you feel safe in right and I think
even if you're regressing into that role
being able to identify the role feels
different if that Yeah no I get totally
what you're saying yeah yes yeah um so
they go upstairs they have their
solidifying [ __ ] they have their like
she like "Daddy teach me how to like
suck your cock." And he's like "Blowjob
lessons will be later little girl." That
sort of energy he takes her virginity he
makes sure it's good for her good and
then the epilogue is 3 years later
yeah 3 years later they're married we
banged one time you get it we're in it
to win it uhhuh yeah uh they're married
they are adding an extension to their
house she is uh she got her bachelor
she's currently working on her masters
or is about to start her masters in
library science and she has a part-time
job working at a library to get some
hours in love it she's 5 months pregnant
oh and one I the room that they're
building off the back is a playroom for
her that will have cameras that they can
still have their thing yeah and that's
how it ends well all right
yeah
jonathan
does show up in other books did he show
up in Run Baby Run and Stay Baby Stay i
think he does like cuz there's a
construction company and he's the
electrician who like works so like okay
I think he's mentioned as like but yes
this is his story um but yeah very if
you're looking for a
not too complicated daddy do baby girl
novella sort of situation mhm it's an
easy read not too challenging no yeah
very straightforward what's the
scale cams tripods tapestries
mac and cheese no the sound tripods
feels complicated
hey
it's Jonathan's nickname from high
school you know hey
I know it will only be Ford's nickname
if I make it his nickname which creates
some problems but I will forever think
of the anatomy scan that I had when the
ultrasound tech went "Oh wow that's a
boy look at that torpedo."
I was like "Trpedo would be a really
hilarious nickname." However in the
future when people are like "How did you
get the nickname torpedo?" You'd have to
explain that you had a giant dick at
your 20week ultra appointment
you'd have to explain a lot of awkward
stuff my mom thought it would be funny
cuz it's not just that it was in the
ultrasound it's that my mother told me
and then chose to call me torpedo that's
different layers that's different
[Laughter]
touche touche yeah
valid that's like weird boy mom on
Facebook energy that we don't bring yeah
that's one of those that like if it
happens organically over time it's but
I'm like that's not something you can
force no no no mm- but objectively still
hilarious
i'm like
yeah also one time I was over at my
sister's house we were visiting them in
Tennessee and I was bathing my son and
she was like "Oh wow." And I was like
"You're not the first
it's his lore."
My 2-year-old
origin story
oh no
you know
I don't want to think about it beyond
that i don't blame you but it is very
hilarious objectively it is very funny
so not torpedoes those weren't even in
the book um
tripods I guess
cameras
chats
webcams mac and cheese air in the tires
pressure in the tires really naming so
many options that we have so many plot
points outside of tripods
I think tripods are still where we're
landing so it has to be divisible by
three right like we're not masochists i
mean we might be but not for that out of
nine out of 21
i was going to go with 18 all right 18
or 15
15 tripods so many tripods
it's a lot of tripods is tripod my son's
nickname in high school jesus
tripod or torpedo um
can't wait for him to listen to this
show years from now he definitely will
poor guy to this episode to this episode
specifically we flagged this episode for
you we did this this is your legacy
kiddo you're welcome it's your legacy
okay
um
I just feel like this like Yeah we're
going to go like 21 tripods all right
legs 21 tripod legs not cuz I I'm not
multiplying 21 by three i'm not getting
into that chaos
we're going to go 11 tripod legs
okay no 12
that one tripod is [ __ ]
it's no longer a tripod
it's going to fall over a little bit all
right 12 out of 21 12 out of 21 tripod
like about half a little over half yeah
a little under little over a little over
yeah
listen we've changed the math on it a
couple times i just had to confirm i'm
not that bad i am bad but I'm not that
bad at math um no i I think
it is exactly what I expected to pick up
we got what we signed up for 1,000% no
more no less you looking for a daddy
dumb baby girl novella
70 pages i got you fam like yes this is
this is it it's very simplistic it's
very straightforward in that regard um
really no frrills on it like but also if
it's what you're looking for sounded
kind of nice yeah it's a good palette
cleanser for sure by no means shipping
on it
like I'm not going to give it like 21
i'm not insane but like Yeah it's like a
good middle of the road Daddy Dom
novella yeah who's the author again
margot Scott marggo Scott that's right
that's right that's right no i wonder if
they're related in my heart and in the
lore that I have created for Jan which
is not founded in reality Margot is her
daughter 100% i like to think of them
working at a coffee shop together yeah
writing about dicks
and Jan teaching Margot the control F
function so that she can use her stories
repeatedly but with different names
A and then you're going to controll P
well oh you missed the the C yeah
controll
okay now that you've copied the thing
click Ctrl F dante yeah anytime it says
Dante switch that out for Damian you'll
feel great i was going to say Damian yes
dante for Damian you get it it's going
to be a whole new series no one will
even realize the similarities literally
the exact same one's in Tampa and one is
in in small town Maine they'll never
know
it still gets me the number of
billionaires Jan expects me to believe
live in Tampa Bay Florida absolutely not
i mean with the real estate market at
this point no
I'm not excited you're like it's Hulk
Hogan and no one else
oh end of list sure tom Cruz and all the
the other Scientologists [ __ ] the
Scientologists scientologists don't
count everybody knows that don't say
that too loud don't put them on the
census Stephen they don't count no do do
put them on the census all
Scientologists are valued and wonderful
and I don't want anyone coming after me
she said "I don't want to be on that
list like from the Leo Reiny show i
don't want to be on that list." That
list is [ __ ] real i grew up in Clear
Water that list is [ __ ] real do not
come at me about this do not tweet at me
about this i do not i was like I would
rather be tapped i'd rather have my
phone tapped by the FBI or the Secret
Service than I would have it tapped by
Scientologist did I tell you about the
time on Roswell Road in Atlanta I worked
down the road from this building that
had like no windows and it had been
under construction and my coworker and I
would drive by it every day on our way
to lunch and we'd be like "What is
that?" and he eventually went on some
kind of exploratory mission and
discovered it was the New Scientology
Church in Atlanta and he was like "We
should go." And I was like "You should
go and tell me about it i'm not doing
that." Did you know that all churches
have um like a special altar for Elron
Hover i did not know that yeah all of
them when I was in seminary one of our
assignments was that we had to like go
and experience a service at another
religion so me and a friend we decided
to go to the Church of Scientology in
Dallas Texas we did all of their opening
assessments and they told me all of the
courses that they thought I should take
internally to improve myself
as they were scoring my test they like
made me watch like this video in the
interim and then I was like "Yeah I'm
not going to do But also when my friend
signed us up for it she put her
she put either her email or phone number
she put one mhm they reached out to her
on the other like being like "We're so
Yeah like we're so excited about your
tour." And she was like "How the [ __ ]
did they get that?" I mean I don't think
she said [ __ ] cuz we were in seminary at
the time but like she was like "How the
hell did they She probably wouldn't say
hell either i'll get I'll rework it
right?" Yeah how did they get my number
yeah or my email like whatever it was i
just remember her sending me a
screenshot and being like "OMG what?"
And I was like "Can't wait to go
tomorrow." Yeah
wild times we respect all creeds and
religions here we for the record
we really truly do that might have
sounded sarcastic but it wasn't we
genuinely It wasn't and I I am like
pausing i ap like by no means trying to
[ __ ] on anyone's lived experience by any
stretch of the imagination um I can say
my lived experience has given me
hesitancy and pause when it comes to
some certain things and that is the
current lens through which I view those
things
well said and on that note
like subscribe like 12 12 tripod legs 13
give you an extra one get crazy with it
a baker's dozen of tripod legs baker's
dozen of tripod legs final offer yes um
as Hannah said don't forget to like
Jesus wept we got to get out of here how
do we do this
the only way out is through we got into
Scientology and now we can't get out
that's how a lot of them feel yeah
oh don't don't forget to like subscribe
rate and let us know what books you'd
like us to review in the future tell a
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appreciate you mut [ __ ] bye
well that's it for this week smud [ __ ]
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[Music]