What if the very thing holding back your leadership is not skill or strategy, but shame? In this groundbreaking conversation, therapist and author Sheila Rubin joins neurobiology expert Rajkumari Neogy to explore shame as the silent force that disrupts trust, fuels conflict, and keeps leaders from stepping fully into their power.
Together, they unpack how shame shows up in the workplace, from the fog that overtakes you before a board presentation to the self-criticism that silences your best ideas. Drawing on decades of therapeutic practice, Sheila reveals why shame is wired into our nervous systems, why it thrives in secrecy, and how curiosity, acknowledgement, and accompaniment can transform it into a powerful ally for leadership.
This episode is not about avoiding shame. It is about learning to meet it, name it, and move through it. The result is more courageous leaders, healthier cultures, and workplaces where people feel seen and valued.
Tune in to learn:
• How shame silently shapes leadership behavior
• Why “attack, deny, or withdraw” is your nervous system’s default reaction
• What shame has to do with feedback, belonging, and psychological safety
• How curiosity interrupts the shame spiral
• Practical ways to lead without letting shame take the wheel
This conversation will change the way you think about shame, not as weakness, but as an opening for growth, connection, and authentic leadership.
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Then, Now & Tomorrow, an original podcast series by ibelong
Is it possible to feel safe at work? Neurobiology expert Rajkumari Neogy absolutely thinks so. Join us for conversations that will blow your mind as we explore what it takes to foster inclusive leadership and cultivate resonant cultures in the workplace.
Watch or listen on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Credits
Creative Director: Annabel Mangold
Original Music Composer: Dario Valderrama
Rajkumari's wardrobe styling courtesy of Gene Hiller (http://www.genehiller.com)
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Meet ibelong
At ibelong, we've developed a neurochemical approach that solves for workplace exclusion and conflict. We study workplace scenarios that lead to dissatisfaction and have built a framework to understand why people are feeling undervalued, and how to change it.