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Mel:
Look, there's a street in Atlanta where I did this once.

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Mel:
More successfully, I will say.

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Chas:
Hi, I'm Chas Fisher.

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Mel:
And I'm Mel Killingsworth.

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Chas:
And welcome to Draft Zero, a podcast where two, I was going to say Australians,

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Chas:
but one Australian and one almost Australian whenever their number comes up.

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Chas:
Try to work out what makes great screenplays work.

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Mel:
And today we're talking about physical comedy on the page.

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Mel:
We're talking Bringing Up Baby, the 1938 movie written by Dudley Nichols and

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Mel:
Hagar Wilde, starring Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant.

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Mel:
We're talking about the Happy Endings pilot, written by David Kasp.

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Mel:
And we're talking about Bridesmaids, written by Annie Mumulo and Kristen Wiig.

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Mel:
And my impetus for doing this is I'm writing a comedy of remarriage.

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Mel:
So a feature rom-com that is all about lots and lots of misunderstandings and

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Mel:
slapstick and physical comedy.

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Mel:
And so I wanted to look at physical comedy on the page.

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Chas:
Yeah, and I leapt at this opportunity. As long-term listeners can hear,

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Chas:
we are missing one of our main co-hosts.

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Chas:
Stu is away on show, but Mel has very kindly stepped in and not only brought

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Chas:
the topic, but also helped in the selection of the homework,

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Chas:
which was also assisted by our Patreons.

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Chas:
And this is a spiritual sequel episode to one of our very early episodes on white space.

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Chas:
And we were looking at how can you use the page, the words on the page,

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Chas:
to recreate the feeling of pace.

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Chas:
And we saw how, you know, different techniques could make time as a reader to...

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Chas:
Feel faster or slower and that there were different ways

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Chas:
of doing that and when mel mentioned writing

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Chas:
different kinds of comedy i thought all right yes physical comedy and i really

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Chas:
we it was hard to like guide our poor patreons as to what we were looking for

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Chas:
because i think what is in trend in comedy now is to have physical comedy moments,

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Chas:
but there's fewer and fewer of those, you know, like Mr.

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Chas:
Bean kind of extended physical comedy, you know, Fawlty Towers, whatever it is.

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Chas:
I'm showing my British heritage here.

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Chas:
You know, Charlie Chaplin, Marx Brothers, like slapstick still exists,

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Chas:
but it's often just in moments to get a laugh.

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Chas:
And for me, the challenge as a writer is not those

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Chas:
moments we we thought about doing everything everywhere all

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Chas:
at once but we're also going to table that for a future episode but

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Chas:
so much of those when they use physical comedy in that film

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Chas:
it's like moments to to draw a

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Chas:
reaction and to me the

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Chas:
challenge of just writing comedy in general

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Chas:
is making it funny on the on the page to recreate that feeling in the in the

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Chas:
audience but writing physical comedy just even when we were thinking about it

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Chas:
and mulling homework i was just thinking it must be so hard because you can

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Chas:
describe action and a lot of physical comedy is essentially like writing an action set piece.

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Chas:
But to write that action such that it is as funny as it looks without saying, it's hilarious.

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Mel:
And that's the director's problem.

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Chas:
So, yeah, I was really excited to get into this episode.

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Chas:
Mel, can you let our listeners know the constraints we were putting on in our homework selection?

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Mel:
Yeah. So, we wanted to do, and throughout the discussion of this,

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Mel:
we came up with this really interesting thing where we were working to distinguish

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Mel:
What is screwball versus farce versus slapstick?

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Mel:
Because we came up with a lot of films and then it felt more like they were

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Mel:
farce or it felt more like they were a screwball but didn't have the slapstick

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Mel:
physical comedy we wanted.

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Mel:
And so I sort of was trying to nail down what is different about those.

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Mel:
And screwball is something that has language, plot and physicality.

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Mel:
Slapstick is physicality. And it may involve language. It may not.

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Mel:
It may be entirely silent. and farce is language

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Mel:
and plot it may involve physicality but it may not um and so plot involves like

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Mel:
you know sometimes people are just barely miss each other going in and out of

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Mel:
rooms it's not really physical comedy they're just sort of uh the camera is

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Mel:
showing you you know proximity and then there's a lot of language going on um.

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Chas:
Yeah absolutely and i was i mean as someone who

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Chas:
was kind of raised in in my drama degree we

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Chas:
did a whole semester on commedia de latte so

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Chas:
i was like ah slapstick and farce they they

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Chas:
go hand in hand and and we got into a debate about it and ultimately you were

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Chas:
correct that farces often have slapstick but not all farce is slapstick and

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Chas:
and like for a recent example i think veep is satirical but it is farce.

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Mel:
So much farce but.

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Chas:
It's not slapstick.

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Mel:
A few moments yes slapstick and that's

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Mel:
fine but it is overall farce um and

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Mel:
then you have something like screwball which uh i'm

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Mel:
bringing up baby is what we landed on but there

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Mel:
were several that i wanted to do so you look at something like

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Mel:
charade which is definitely a farce that has some slapstick you look at um one

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Mel:
of my all-time favorites his girl friday which is a screwball because it has

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Mel:
all of the above every scene has plot language and physicality and they're all

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Mel:
going at 100 miles per hour yeah.

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Chas:
And i mean stew and i uh whenever we bring you on mel Like, you're always like,

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Chas:
oh, we should do this amazing film from, like, the 1940s. And we're all like, no.

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Chas:
Cinematic and screenwriting language has moved on from there.

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Mel:
That's like saying we shouldn't study Shakespeare anymore if we want to write novels. I mean...

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Mel:
Yes, there are differences. I do admit there are absolutely differences.

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Mel:
But every couple of months on screenwriting Twitter, the argument pops up that

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Mel:
like once you learn the rules, you should break them and you should do what works.

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Mel:
And so if you're going to do what works and you're limiting yourself to reading

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Mel:
stuff that has been written in the last 10 to 15 years, I think that's a massive mistake.

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Mel:
And one of the really interesting things although of the scripts that i could

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Mel:
find i really wanted to do a scene from charade couldn't find the script of

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Mel:
all the scripts that i could find bringing up baby is actually probably the

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Mel:
most that is obviously quote-unquote of its time.

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Mel:
There's actually a lot of things it does similar to

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Mel:
bridesmaids which is really interesting but i do think it's

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Mel:
of its time and yet i still got a lot out of reading how

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Mel:
it did it and one of the other things that i think with the

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Mel:
three scripts we landed on that is really interesting is that we

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Mel:
chose three scripts that do three different types of

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Mel:
slapstick so bringing a baby is mostly

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Mel:
involving vehicles and a car there's there's there's cars

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Mel:
going on and things like that in happy endings

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Mel:
it's the whole scene has a lot of slapstick moments but

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Mel:
it's an it's an ensemble piece and they're small moments and at one moment

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Mel:
they involve this item and the other moment they

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Mel:
involve a different item and it keeps moving on moving

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Mel:
around the room and doing different things and then bridesmaids it's

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Mel:
essentially one big event with all of these characters and the event goes for

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Mel:
like four minutes so you've got and and it it's physical comedy as opposed to

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Mel:
something like bringing a baby which is you know this giant machine being wielded

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Mel:
around so it's definitely three that uh i think have had different strengths which is great and.

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Chas:
It was it was challenging for us to find scripts because this is a an episode

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Chas:
where there was no point if we couldn't find the scripts for projects.

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Chas:
So, Sue and I in previous episodes, we've looked at Game Night,

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Chas:
where that entire amazing, you know, stitched together, seeming one-shot chase

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Chas:
of the Fabergé egg around the house.

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Chas:
In the script, it says, Boomer pursues whoever holds the egg and it turns into

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Chas:
a high stakes game of hot potato.

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Chas:
You know, like that entire sequence, that's screenwriters enjoying themselves

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Chas:
and handballing the problem straight to the director.

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Chas:
Um, although I think there might've been right directors on that.

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Mel:
Uh, Stu has a whole breakdown of it on ShotZero and he talks about the previs

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Mel:
and a bunch of other things. So, you know, insert plug here.

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Chas:
All right. So the screenplay credits are by Mark Perez, uh, revisions by Dana

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Chas:
Fox and Catherine Silverman.

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Chas:
Current revisions of the version I'm looking at is Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daly.

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Chas:
And then, you know, we've looked at that wonderful bit of clowning that Ryan

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Chas:
Gosling does in Nice Guys in the toilet stall where he drops the cigarette and

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Chas:
it's brilliant and it looks like he's improvised it.

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Chas:
But then when we went to the script, it's actually beat for beat in there.

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Chas:
But A, we've done those projects and we want to look at new ones.

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Chas:
And B, we, like I said, we want, I wanted in particular extended

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Chas:
ones so that you could get that sense of geography what's

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Chas:
the movement within the the scene and um

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Chas:
and above all how to make something that is going

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Chas:
to become more and more technical in terms

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Chas:
of what you're trying to explain to the reader is going on

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Chas:
and how do you make that funny because i

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Chas:
think you can make technical stuff in an action scene

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Chas:
feel tense and dangerous quite easily

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Chas:
uh you know maybe that's just me betraying my biases as a writer but you know

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Chas:
bam dash dash oh no like i feel like you can inject the feeling that you want

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Chas:
more easily in straight up action than it is to inject humor into a more technical scene and.

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Mel:
Even with that with the thing you're saying about action right you have the

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Mel:
crashing you have you know bam you have gunshots you have things going off you

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Mel:
can't just tell the writer haha.

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Chas:
Funny you.

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Mel:
Know you have to it has to be funny.

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Chas:
I mean i can't remember what script it is now if you were here he would remember

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Chas:
but i think we did look at one bit of big print which ended with like it's hilarious

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Chas:
full stop like it's just telling us how to feel about the what we've just read no.

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Mel:
Pressure on the.

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Chas:
Actors or anything there well uh no pressure on the director in the end of this

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Chas:
sequence from bringing up baby so.

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Excerpts:
No, but if you'd only let me explain. You see, I just gave someone that bad girl and that...

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Excerpts:
I hope you've realised that you've made a perfect fool of yourself in front

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Excerpts:
of everyone. Have you finished? Yes, yes, I have. Thank you very much. Oh.

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Excerpts:
You lied to me. Yes, but just a little bit. I mean, no, no, no.

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Excerpts:
It's a ridiculous story about a leopard. But it is a ridiculous story.

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Excerpts:
I have a leopard. Where is the leopard? In there.

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Chas:
But what I thought we might do for each of these scenes is obviously we've brought

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Chas:
scenes from different parts of the of these films.

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Chas:
So we have to give kind of a broad summary of the film, where we are in the story.

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Chas:
And I think what happens in the scene will probably play audio from the scenes.

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Chas:
But the whole point of this is you're probably not, dear listener in this audio

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Chas:
format, going to understand necessarily what is going on that we want to describe on the page.

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Chas:
And then we'll probably dive into favorite moments and techniques actually on

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Chas:
the page in the big print.

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Chas:
And I do think in comedy, it's especially challenging to get readers to read

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Chas:
the big print. You know, so much of the humour comes from the dialogue,

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Chas:
and comedy is such a dialogue.

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Chas:
Often, certainly contemporary comedy is so dialogue-driven.

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Chas:
I can imagine readers just never reading the action lines at all.

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Chas:
All right. Well, Mel, given Bringing Up Baby is your baby, do you want to pitch or summarize?

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Mel:
I'll summarize. This is quite, it's actually easier because this happens near

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Mel:
the beginning of the film.

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Chas:
Yeah.

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Mel:
So David, who is played by Cary Grant and Catherine Hepburn,

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Mel:
who plays Susan, have met just once before.

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Mel:
And this is essentially, you know, it was hate at first sight.

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Mel:
And now we have their second big meeting.

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Mel:
And so the idea of like first impression, second impression is terrible.

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Mel:
So David is out golfing and trying to make a good impression on Mr.

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Mel:
Peabody, who will factor into the scene later.

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Mel:
And then the scene commences. Uh, if you, the screenplay is available online

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Mel:
and it essentially starts on page 10.

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Chas:
We'll put, we'll put links in the show notes.

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Mel:
And this scene starts with very little dialogue.

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Mel:
It's almost entirely what's happening and describing all of the physicality

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Mel:
and for, for a couple of pages until suddenly the dialogue really starts cracking.

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Chas:
Yeah. I mean, so broadly the movement of the scene, you know,

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Chas:
Susan steals David's ball and plays it and he's kind of grumpy and interacting with Susan while Mr.

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Chas:
Peabody's getting frustrated that David isn't playing with him.

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Chas:
And that is delightful back and forth.

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Excerpts:
You shouldn't do that, you know. But that... What shouldn't I do?

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Excerpts:
Talk while someone's shooting.

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Excerpts:
Well, anyway, I forgive you because I got a good shot. But you don't understand.

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Excerpts:
See, there it is, right next to the pin. But that has nothing to do with it.

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Excerpts:
Oh, are you playing through? No, I've just driven off the first tee.

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Excerpts:
I see you're a stranger here.

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Excerpts:
You should be over there. This is the 18th fairway, and I'm right on the green.

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Excerpts:
If I think this part, I'm going to beat my record. I'll be with you in a minute.

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Mel:
It's 207... The screenplay's 207 pages, and the movie's about 90 minutes. So it whips.

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Chas:
Yeah. So Susan finishes the 18th hole with David's ball and leaves.

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Chas:
And then David resumes playing with Mr. Peabody.

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Chas:
And Susan begins, gets to her car and starts driving, trying to drive out of

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Chas:
the car park while seemingly crashing into every car in the car park.

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Chas:
But in particular, David's.

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Excerpts:
Hey, mister, I think that's your car.

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Excerpts:
Hey hey oh i'll be with you in a minute mr peabody.

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Chas:
And what i actually love about this is so

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Chas:
i'm i'm on page 10 now and what you have is the david is at the first tee and

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Chas:
uh susan is in the car park and this is one of those times where like my modern

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Chas:
instinct is to establish the two locations and then ease the reader in,

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Chas:
you know, and I think this is my big observation from actually how well Bringing

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Chas:
Up Baby does on the page is its geography and the sluglines actually help.

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Chas:
Because it gives you a mental bit. It's almost like an edit.

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Chas:
You know that you're cutting from her to him whenever you see a slug line.

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Chas:
And I guess because it's only two locations, you're not having to read the slug

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Chas:
line necessarily. You just know you've moved from her to him.

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Mel:
Yeah. And the other thing that's interesting is it tells you,

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Mel:
it kind of tells you whose point of view you're in because especially at the start,

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Mel:
he ends up walking over to her at the

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Mel:
car and then everything's sort of happening there and then

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Mel:
you're cutting back to where mr peabody's looking on but at

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Mel:
the start david enters and doggedly tees his

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Mel:
ball again rather grimly he takes a driver from

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Mel:
the caddy so you're with david right and then the automobile starts honking

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Mel:
the sound throws him off balance he drops his club he gets startled you're still

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Mel:
with him cut to the exterior parking space day so the first time we see there

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Mel:
there's a little uh there's a slug line And then under that in all caps is what

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Mel:
he sees colon in the parking space nearby.

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Mel:
Susan is trying to move. So you are still with him and his point of view.

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Chas:
Yeah.

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Mel:
He's thrown off and he looks over and sees Susan trying to back her roadster out.

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Mel:
Then you're back with David exterior at first T day, all these things happen.

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Mel:
And then it starts doing that cutting back and forth. And it's, it's quick.

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Mel:
It's, it's, there's two lines and then we're back with David and there's two

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Mel:
lines and then we're back and then there's four lines and they're back.

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Mel:
And so it, you're right, the slug lines mimic the editing and how quickly this is all happening.

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Mel:
And it really drives the pacing because yeah, it's just action lines so far,

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Mel:
but it's not, there's quite a lot of white space on the page because you're

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Mel:
going back and forth between what's happening in each location quite quickly.

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Chas:
Yeah. I mean, so part of my resistance to doing like older screenplays is like

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Chas:
the, not just the fashion, the style of how screenplays written have changed since then.

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Chas:
So one of the things that seems unusual for me is that there doesn't,

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Chas:
they don't seem to use paragraphs within a scene very often in action lines.

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Chas:
So at the top of that page, we've got a one, two, three, four,

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Chas:
five, six, seven, eight, nine line.

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Chas:
Paragraph but it's still they've still

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Chas:
like carefully measured the sentences it reads very quickly

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Chas:
they use m dashes like other than

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Chas:
breaking up those paragraphs now there isn't

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Chas:
much that would change to to update this script and i just want to make an observation

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Chas:
on this particular page that we'll come back to i think we'll we'll do it again

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Chas:
and again because i think it's important for what's one of my takeaways from

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Chas:
writing physical comedy is that the the words on the page.

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Chas:
Mimic the repetition that we're seeing in the comedy so

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Chas:
you know as he lifts his club for the swing an automobile horn

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Chas:
toots nearby he doesn't look around but the sound throws him

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Chas:
off balance he drops his club and raises for another swing

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Chas:
another horn which distracts him as he raises

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Chas:
his club again determinably there is a crash of a

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Chas:
bumper against the bumper he lowers his club grimly and

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Chas:
looks around so there's lots of words like hooking

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Chas:
in from sentence to sentence like they don't try

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Chas:
and look for different words for raising his club they

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Chas:
use you know repeating the word another um

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Chas:
across sentences to tie it together and then

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Chas:
going down the page like he raises

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Chas:
his club again and this time there is a terrific crash slowly he

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Chas:
lowers his club and looks around like and finally uh david suddenly drops his

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Chas:
club and strides out so that like the words on the page and the repetition are

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Chas:
yeah mimicking the edit we can see we can visualize the humor and the and the repetition of it yeah.

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Mel:
There's the even the like like some of the onomatopoeia words you've got like

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Mel:
smacked repeats a few times and like toots and like things like that so you've

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Mel:
got the you know and a lot of comedy is you know rule of threes and all that.

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Chas:
And It.

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Mel:
Happens in the writing as well.

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Chas:
I mean, so then it moves from him being distracted from his golf game to her

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Chas:
accidentally locking her car bumper with his car bumper and she's like towing

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Chas:
his car around the car park and he rushes to try and get in the car.

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Chas:
Now, I have seen Bringing Up Baby, but it's been 20 years.

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Chas:
So, I can't actually visualize this. I was, uh, what I, what I do appreciate

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Chas:
about the script is it very much made me see what is, what I imagine is going on on screen, uh,

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Chas:
very well without feeling like it's over explaining, you know, there's some, uh,

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Chas:
camera direction and stuff like that, that we probably wouldn't do now, but.

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Mel:
But most of the camera direction

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Mel:
in this scene is for things that are actually

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Mel:
required because of a visual gag not all

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Mel:
of it there is more but there's a couple of visual gags where

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Mel:
for example we're in peabody's point of view and the

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Mel:
part of the point is that peabody can see what

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Mel:
david's doing but can't see that he's on the running board

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Mel:
of the car for example and so it shows him so that the

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Mel:
camera it says you know camera medium long shot above the hedge that sort of

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Mel:
direction is important because otherwise because the humor is coming from the

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Mel:
fact that we the audience know what's happening below the hedge but peabody

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Mel:
doesn't and the camera rather the camera direction is what's pointing that out to the reader yeah.

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Chas:
Because uh like you said and and what we had before with very firmly in whose point of view are we.

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Mel:
Um so.

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Chas:
Peabody is now at the first tee and now both Susan and David are in the car

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Chas:
park in their cars and it clearly says on page 12 what he sees, referring to Peabody,

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Chas:
is the shot of head and shoulders of David above the hedge, right?

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Chas:
Susan and her car are concealed by the hedge. So we understand the visual nature

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Chas:
of the gag is that David is like moving back and forth behind his hedge trying

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Chas:
to have a conversation with Mr.

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Chas:
Peabody while trying to shout at Susan to let her know what's going on.

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Excerpts:
Look, let me drive this car. Oh, it's alright. It's an old wreck anyway.

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Excerpts:
It doesn't matter. Well, you don't understand. This is my car.

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Excerpts:
You mean this is your car? Of course. Your golf ball? Your car?

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Excerpts:
Is there anything in the world that doesn't belong to you?

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Excerpts:
Yes, thank heaven. You! Now, don't lose your temper.

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Excerpts:
My dear young lady, I'm not losing my temper. I'm merely trying to play some golf.

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Excerpts:
When you choose the funniest places, this is a parking lot. Will you get out of my car?

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Excerpts:
Will you get off my running board? This is my running board!

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Excerpts:
All right, honey, stay there. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Mr.

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Excerpts:
I'll be with you in a minute, Mr. Peabody.

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Mel:
And less the bridesmaids scene, although it does use a few anti-sees, we here, etc.

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Mel:
But the happy ending scene, instead of using camera directions,

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Mel:
it says how the characters look.

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Mel:
So there's a scene or there's sorry, there's a gag in happy endings where it's

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Mel:
really important that the audience hasn't seen something until the camera pans left.

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Mel:
And instead of saying that the camera pans left, which is what bringing a baby's

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Mel:
done, it says everybody looks to the left. so it's it's getting across the same

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Mel:
idea it's just bringing it baby is a little more technical about it.

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Chas:
Yeah and i think if they had written just

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Chas:
the action you wouldn't get the framing that is funny right the thing that's

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Chas:
funny about this thing yes it's inherently funny that susan is unaware that

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Chas:
she's towing not just david's car but david standing she's aware and blithely enjoying it.

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Mel:
But you know.

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Chas:
Yeah, the word blithely is definitely used. But the fact that it says,

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Chas:
camera is now on the opposite side of the hedge so that we see clearly David's predicament.

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Chas:
David turns and waves helplessly at Peabody as he rolls past.

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Chas:
So, you know, we've been given both Peabody's experience of just seeing David

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Chas:
rolling back and forth and we've got like-

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Mel:
We see clearly.

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Chas:
The much more kind of dangerous, fun stunt of David being in the car as well.

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Chas:
And I do like that, you know, we've got full shot parking space as Susan gathering

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Chas:
speed tows David around a lane that brings him past the hedge again.

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Chas:
Peabody watches amazedly his head turning. Sorry, I skipped the slug line there,

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Chas:
but it allows us to visualize there's the stunt and there's the gag of going,

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Chas:
David is back, just zooming across behind the head from Peabody's perspective.

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Mel:
But I think that just demonstrates your point that once you've established the

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Mel:
two places, your brain is going, okay, it's almost like we would use intercut

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Mel:
now, except it is being very clear.

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Mel:
Okay, now we're here. Now we're there. Your brain is kind of,

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Mel:
okay, I get that the slug line's there. Now we're with Peabody when you're reading it.

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Chas:
Yeah. And the first time David glides past the hedge, he waves helplessly at Peabody.

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Chas:
And then the second time he turns and waves placatingly.

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Chas:
So, look, I'm going to be upfront that reading the script, it didn't make me laugh.

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Chas:
Whereas reading the other ones, I actually laughed out loud.

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Chas:
But what it did do is give me a really clear sense of the geography and it gave

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Chas:
me such a good sense of the geography and such a good sense of the edit and

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Chas:
such a good sense of the uh framing,

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Chas:
that i could see that it would be funny on screen and.

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Mel:
It is i mean and not to uh if you if you read the next scene which we're not

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Mel:
doing for this i just want to touch.

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Chas:
On it really.

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Mel:
Quickly if you.

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Mel:
Two things that are really great

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Mel:
about it is first, it's a complete juxtaposition is a white tie event.

365
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Mel:
So you've got this, you know, these people who are outside doing sport and riding

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Mel:
around in cars and doing this.

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Mel:
And then the next scene is at a white tie event where they run into each other again.

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Mel:
And there's a gag where David slips on an olive like Susan has thrown an olive

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Mel:
pit on the floor and David slips on it.

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Mel:
And it's clearly written in a way that you it's meant to be funny because you

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Mel:
see the feet and then the feet fly up out of out of screen and then whatever.

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Mel:
So it's clearly written in a way where you can tell it's David,

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Mel:
but it's not meant to perform. And then they cast Cary Grant.

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Mel:
So they cast a former acrobat and they shoot it completely differently.

375
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Mel:
It's shot to be like funny in that in that way of like the feet fly out of frame.

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Mel:
And then he just actually performs the stunt.

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Mel:
So I think, yeah, they're clearly writing with an idea towards helping you picture

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Mel:
the final product and how you can accomplish the type of humor that they're

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Mel:
going for, which is physicality plus that rapid fire.

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Mel:
Because once the dialogue does start with the car, you know,

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Mel:
the car stuff is still going.

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Mel:
You know, David climbs on the car, student starts to back out and they're going

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Mel:
back and forth while he's riding around towards the parking space going,

384
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Mel:
there's no need to lose your temper.

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Mel:
David quietly frenzied. I'm not losing my temper.

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Mel:
You know, it's, they're, they're giving you the clear idea while the dialogue

387
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Mel:
is establishing their relationship.

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Chas:
Yeah. I mean, so the scene, or the sequence rather, moves from David basically

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Chas:
trying to stop his car being towed while keeping Mr. Peabody on the course.

390
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Chas:
Mr. Peabody walks off. And so David can then basically

391
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Chas:
fully engaged with susan he breaks forcing

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Chas:
her to acknowledge his existence that she's

393
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Chas:
towing him around and then she wraps

394
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Chas:
his car or uh hits it runs it into a tree separates her car but then also like

395
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Chas:
keeps coming back and banging into him and then david start like it's a lovely

396
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Chas:
character shift that for the first time he loses his temper he looks after her

397
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Chas:
car as it rolls away down the driveway,

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00:27:39,510 --> 00:27:42,610
Chas:
then on a mad impulse, drops into gear and follows.

399
00:27:42,790 --> 00:27:48,310
Chas:
As she goes out of the gate, he comes round and past her and scrapes her front fender. Her eyes flash.

400
00:27:48,570 --> 00:27:51,130
Chas:
She pursues him and takes off his fender.

401
00:27:51,410 --> 00:27:56,490
Chas:
They keep up this game, ad lib, director, until finally no fenders are left

402
00:27:56,490 --> 00:27:58,470
Chas:
on either car and David is in a ditch.

403
00:27:58,650 --> 00:28:04,610
Chas:
So they do finally, the writers at the end of that, do finally do the game night cheat.

404
00:28:04,610 --> 00:28:09,530
Chas:
Like, yeah, you guys can just sort out how this plays out until there are no

405
00:28:09,530 --> 00:28:17,110
Chas:
fenders left and one's in a ditch, but they've done so well to almost earn that crescendo and-

406
00:28:18,100 --> 00:28:20,920
Chas:
been all the character beats have played out.

407
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,820
Mel:
I think also um there's an

408
00:28:23,820 --> 00:28:26,620
Mel:
interesting part which i discovered has happened in

409
00:28:26,620 --> 00:28:29,540
Mel:
all three of the scripts that we ended up picking which is

410
00:28:29,540 --> 00:28:33,000
Mel:
that there are pieces of this scene that

411
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,640
Mel:
appear in a different order than they are in the

412
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,420
Mel:
script but the pieces as they

413
00:28:38,420 --> 00:28:41,300
Mel:
are are so written quite similarly but they are edited in

414
00:28:41,300 --> 00:28:44,400
Mel:
quite a different order that does shift the overall

415
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:47,520
Mel:
arc of the scene and all three of these have scripts have

416
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,560
Mel:
done that where there's bits that have been moved around

417
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:53,440
Mel:
and not shot in that order if you watch them next to the scene which

418
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:56,380
Mel:
is quite interesting so they're filming it and they've got these two actors and

419
00:28:56,380 --> 00:28:59,400
Mel:
clearly how it's written is with the

420
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:03,440
Mel:
physical comedy in mind but then you have these actors in in all of these cases

421
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:06,560
Mel:
you have these great comedic actors and sometimes when they're in a flow of

422
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:10,620
Mel:
things actually it works better to do it you know to let this flow and then

423
00:29:10,620 --> 00:29:15,060
Mel:
do this gag this way etc which is quite interesting that we got three that they

424
00:29:15,060 --> 00:29:17,480
Mel:
keep all the bits but rearrange them in post?

425
00:29:17,820 --> 00:29:24,100
Chas:
I mean, I guess we can credit the editors for making a decision and assume that

426
00:29:24,100 --> 00:29:25,000
Chas:
maybe it was shot that way.

427
00:29:25,580 --> 00:29:31,200
Chas:
Who knows but what in this particular one what was the rearranging what what got moved around.

428
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,800
Mel:
Um i marked it uh okay

429
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:38,240
Mel:
so where susan uh

430
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:43,760
Mel:
toes uh the head and shoulders of david david standing on his car blithely towing

431
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:48,520
Mel:
him around it happens much later okay so it goes they actually start arguing

432
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:54,240
Mel:
a bit more and uh you know uh he says i'll be with you in a minute but then

433
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:55,960
Mel:
he and Susan started having a bit more back and forth.

434
00:29:56,140 --> 00:29:59,500
Mel:
And all of that bit is bumped to a little bit later.

435
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:05,220
Mel:
So clearly they just wanted to get into the chemistry of the two of them a little

436
00:30:05,220 --> 00:30:08,040
Mel:
bit sooner before they came back with the visual gag.

437
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:14,580
Chas:
And maybe it would have been harder to play her being blithely unaware of her towing his car.

438
00:30:14,820 --> 00:30:19,200
Chas:
So, you know, maybe it wasn't, they couldn't sell him shouting at her and her

439
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,860
Chas:
either being unaware or just...

440
00:30:21,860 --> 00:30:23,200
Mel:
Or feigning unawareness.

441
00:30:23,380 --> 00:30:28,400
Chas:
Yeah. Oh, what a good word. Fain. That's a word of word that will trip you up.

442
00:30:28,540 --> 00:30:33,280
Mel:
Yeah. I mean, I've said it, but I'm also very well aware that it might be spelled

443
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:34,360
Mel:
differently than there.

444
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:40,120
Mel:
And there's 18 different potential ways to spell it. So I've given up at this point.

445
00:30:40,340 --> 00:30:44,220
Mel:
I'm sure that there's an E in there somewhere that I don't believe there should be.

446
00:30:44,420 --> 00:30:47,200
Chas:
So as much as I've, you know,

447
00:30:47,540 --> 00:30:51,960
Chas:
rubbished and resisted your 1940s homework selections,

448
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:54,660
Chas:
this is this is well worth a read like

449
00:30:54,660 --> 00:30:57,740
Chas:
i flew through these 10 pages and well 17

450
00:30:57,740 --> 00:31:00,460
Chas:
pages uh and the fact that the script is like you

451
00:31:00,460 --> 00:31:03,200
Chas:
said 202 pages long and yet the film is

452
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:10,040
Chas:
90 minutes is uh does not surprise me at all and frankly i think the only thing

453
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:16,000
Chas:
that would change in modern times is just breaking up those paragraphs a little

454
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:21,940
Chas:
but i don't think the words on the page would necessarily change or their cadence or their repetition.

455
00:31:22,420 --> 00:31:27,420
Chas:
And the big thing I took out of this was actually good use of slug lines,

456
00:31:27,660 --> 00:31:32,140
Chas:
like setting up the geography and the gags and the visualization so well.

457
00:31:32,540 --> 00:31:36,880
Mel:
I would encourage, I ended up reading the whole next scene and getting a lot out of that as well.

458
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:40,640
Mel:
And I think they're both so different that if you are really interested,

459
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:44,300
Mel:
I would definitely say to sort of read the two of them together and see how

460
00:31:44,300 --> 00:31:45,340
Mel:
they do things differently.

461
00:31:47,180 --> 00:31:51,460
Excerpts:
This episode of Draw Zero is brought to you by ARK Studio Pro,

462
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,940
Excerpts:
a modern, fresh app for the screenwriting world.

463
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:58,160
Excerpts:
Which, of course, has industry standard formatting, which-

464
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,620
Excerpts:
That's the bare minimum, but

465
00:32:00,620 --> 00:32:07,020
Excerpts:
exciting for us Australians, it has it for both US Letter and A4. Crazy.

466
00:32:07,300 --> 00:32:11,960
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And it also lets you cheat the margins, which is one of my favourite little features.

467
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:17,260
Excerpts:
But it has advanced tools for storytellers that are actually easy to use.

468
00:32:17,380 --> 00:32:21,920
Excerpts:
You can seamlessly move between drag and drop beat cards into a treatment and

469
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:24,740
Excerpts:
into a screenplay and back and forth at any time.

470
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:28,800
Excerpts:
And you can colour code your beats. It's super useful whether you want to tag

471
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:33,780
Excerpts:
your beats for characters, narrative point of view, thematic sections, or however you want.

472
00:32:33,940 --> 00:32:37,860
Excerpts:
We got to use all of that on a project where we took it back to cards and then

473
00:32:37,860 --> 00:32:39,860
Excerpts:
from cards to outline and from outline to pages.

474
00:32:40,020 --> 00:32:42,740
Excerpts:
The development process was intuitive and powerful.

475
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:48,200
Excerpts:
All the while, it was the best remote collaboration experience we've had in

476
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:50,260
Excerpts:
screenwriting software, and we've tried a lot.

477
00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:55,940
Excerpts:
I loved looking at a line of dialogue that Chaz had edited, going to the edit

478
00:32:55,940 --> 00:32:58,980
Excerpts:
history and changing it back to the line that I wrote.

479
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:05,380
Excerpts:
We used the software to present to our producer and script editor at each of

480
00:33:05,380 --> 00:33:10,240
Excerpts:
those stages, at boards, at outline, and then at pages, who could then leave

481
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,520
Excerpts:
comments in the app, which is both useful and terrifying.

482
00:33:13,900 --> 00:33:17,840
Excerpts:
And we could reply to those comments, tag each other to throw each other under

483
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:19,980
Excerpts:
the bus, or we could tick them as resolved.

484
00:33:20,260 --> 00:33:23,200
Excerpts:
It really is as easy to use as Google Docs.

485
00:33:23,540 --> 00:33:28,880
Excerpts:
And this development workflow has worked so well that Chaz has decided he doesn't need me anymore.

486
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:33,280
Excerpts:
And he's using it on a solo project because it's not just from collaboration.

487
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:37,420
Excerpts:
And I know I'll be using it on one of my own projects because the development

488
00:33:37,420 --> 00:33:39,240
Excerpts:
workflow really is that intuitive.

489
00:33:39,540 --> 00:33:43,040
Excerpts:
We've noticed Arc Studio Pro is being constantly updated and the development

490
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:44,920
Excerpts:
team is super approachable and responsive.

491
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:48,740
Excerpts:
They've now introduced the new notes feature, which facilitates that collecting

492
00:33:48,740 --> 00:33:53,600
Excerpts:
of all your scraps of ideas and allowing you to get into the flow of free writing

493
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:57,480
Excerpts:
and figuring all your structure all within one spot. Arc Studio Pro.

494
00:33:58,140 --> 00:34:01,700
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Join the thousands of screenwriters from amateurs to pros and everyone in between

495
00:34:01,700 --> 00:34:03,440
Excerpts:
who've already made the leap.

496
00:34:03,860 --> 00:34:09,020
Excerpts:
Arc Studio offers a completely free plan because starting to screenwrite shouldn't cost you anything.

497
00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:14,360
Excerpts:
But you can also get $30 off the pro plan if you want some of these pro features.

498
00:34:14,720 --> 00:34:20,260
Excerpts:
If you visit the link in the show notes or go to arcstudiopro.com slash draft

499
00:34:20,260 --> 00:34:22,460
Excerpts:
zero. That's draft zero without a hyphen.

500
00:34:23,340 --> 00:34:29,700
Excerpts:
And now for the third hour of a screenwriting podcast. Except this episode is like 90 minutes.

501
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:32,240
Excerpts:
All the better for it.

502
00:34:34,140 --> 00:34:36,040
Mel:
Let's move on to Happy Endings.

503
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:41,120
Chas:
So one of the other constraints that we decided in choosing our homework for

504
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:46,940
Chas:
physical comedy is we both, I think, instinctively wanted to do live action

505
00:34:46,940 --> 00:34:49,240
Chas:
physical comedy, not animation.

506
00:34:49,380 --> 00:34:54,620
Chas:
Because obviously physical humor is a big part of contemporary animation.

507
00:34:54,620 --> 00:35:00,180
Chas:
We're almost in a golden age, particularly of adult animation right now,

508
00:35:00,240 --> 00:35:05,680
Chas:
and there's so much physical humor in there, but I think we both wanted that

509
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:10,900
Chas:
constraint of writing something that human beings could theoretically do.

510
00:35:10,900 --> 00:35:12,560
Chas:
Now I know we're in the age of CGI.

511
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:15,500
Mel:
And we tend to prefer cgi in

512
00:35:15,500 --> 00:35:18,840
Mel:
our action and not in our comedy yeah partly because

513
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:22,280
Mel:
i think part of the thing is that's funny is the concept

514
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:26,480
Mel:
of real people potentially getting hurt but not or actually having to land that

515
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:30,440
Mel:
pratfall yeah whereas when it comes to action you know we just want things to

516
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:35,540
Mel:
be to be bigger and better but in in comedy slapping someone across the face

517
00:35:35,540 --> 00:35:41,240
Mel:
is still funny yeah and And doing it for real is the only way to really make it funny.

518
00:35:41,380 --> 00:35:44,860
Mel:
And by for real, of course, I mean timing and hoping that your scene partner

519
00:35:44,860 --> 00:35:46,980
Mel:
turns the right way and et cetera, et cetera.

520
00:35:47,260 --> 00:35:52,200
Chas:
Yeah. But what we were aware of or we felt instinctively is that there were

521
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:56,200
Chas:
more of these extended comedy sequences in film.

522
00:35:56,510 --> 00:36:00,490
Chas:
Television now than they are in cinema.

523
00:36:00,770 --> 00:36:04,790
Chas:
I mean, that said, we were constrained by scripts.

524
00:36:04,790 --> 00:36:10,050
Chas:
So, I really wanted to do Joyride because I think that has got the cocaine scene

525
00:36:10,050 --> 00:36:15,950
Chas:
in the train and then also the threesome is fucking hysterical.

526
00:36:16,590 --> 00:36:20,710
Chas:
And even if they'd written it's a threesome, it's fucking hysterical.

527
00:36:20,930 --> 00:36:25,310
Chas:
Like, I would have been happy to have read that. But unfortunately we couldn't

528
00:36:25,310 --> 00:36:29,390
Chas:
find the Joyride script other than me learning that it was the original title

529
00:36:29,390 --> 00:36:32,190
Chas:
was the Joy Fuck Club which I wish they had.

530
00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:39,250
Mel:
Kept they fought for it I had a hard time finding this specific TV scripts that

531
00:36:39,250 --> 00:36:42,770
Mel:
I wanted because I think oh right I want this scene but a lot of times in TV

532
00:36:42,770 --> 00:36:45,750
Mel:
shows there if you can find the script out there,

533
00:36:46,310 --> 00:36:50,670
Mel:
it's not the one that you're particularly after at any given time it's always.

534
00:36:50,670 --> 00:36:51,690
Chas:
The Emmy campaign.

535
00:36:51,690 --> 00:36:56,370
Mel:
Ones and sometimes it's later in the seasons whereas with happy endings it's

536
00:36:56,370 --> 00:37:01,710
Mel:
the pilot so if you haven't seen it it'll take you about five minutes to uh you know watch the bit.

537
00:37:02,890 --> 00:37:06,830
Excerpts:
The six of us have been friends forever so when alex and i decided to get married

538
00:37:06,830 --> 00:37:12,210
Excerpts:
it was going to be the greatest day of all our lives instead it turned into

539
00:37:12,210 --> 00:37:17,590
Excerpts:
a bad matthew mcconaughey movie alex i love you what's happening here come with

540
00:37:17,590 --> 00:37:19,950
Excerpts:
me i'm sorry i can't do this,

541
00:37:22,630 --> 00:37:24,750
Excerpts:
I'm sure she's totally regretting that decision. It's going to be okay,

542
00:37:24,910 --> 00:37:28,190
Excerpts:
I promise you. Huge game changer. Huge.

543
00:37:29,110 --> 00:37:33,370
Excerpts:
When friends have been together this long, nothing can break them up.

544
00:37:35,310 --> 00:37:40,210
Excerpts:
It's not even a breakup. I can't believe that you got the white trash tourist braids.

545
00:37:40,310 --> 00:37:43,150
Excerpts:
You look like Predator. I feel like you're going to rip my spine out and keep

546
00:37:43,150 --> 00:37:45,090
Excerpts:
my skull as a trophy. I'm sorry.

547
00:37:45,470 --> 00:37:50,230
Excerpts:
You're the only girl I've ever even liked. I literally can't even picture myself

548
00:37:50,230 --> 00:37:55,170
Excerpts:
with another woman ever again for the rest of my life. Have you seen my tongue ring?

549
00:37:55,850 --> 00:37:57,990
Excerpts:
God, I hope I didn't swallow another one.

550
00:37:58,990 --> 00:38:02,790
Mel:
Originally, I had picked the opening scene because I remember the opening scene,

551
00:38:02,950 --> 00:38:05,590
Mel:
you know, guy and rollerblades and all that.

552
00:38:05,670 --> 00:38:09,290
Mel:
And we ended up, I'll touch on that scene real quick, but we ended up going

553
00:38:09,290 --> 00:38:13,590
Mel:
a couple pages later to Alex and David's house.

554
00:38:13,910 --> 00:38:19,970
Mel:
This is, I just now bumped on the fact that it's Dave and David that we've picked,

555
00:38:20,050 --> 00:38:20,810
Mel:
which is very confusing.

556
00:38:21,490 --> 00:38:24,770
Mel:
I was like, Dave, that's not right. No, yes, it is. um at

557
00:38:24,770 --> 00:38:28,690
Mel:
alex and david's house and seeing how there's this longer sort

558
00:38:28,690 --> 00:38:32,070
Mel:
of uh ensemble physical

559
00:38:32,070 --> 00:38:35,570
Mel:
comedy bits going on over and over but in i

560
00:38:35,570 --> 00:38:38,690
Mel:
do think that the it's worth reading

561
00:38:38,690 --> 00:38:41,630
Mel:
the first couple pages how they set up

562
00:38:41,630 --> 00:38:44,490
Mel:
the guy on rollerblades which sets the entire

563
00:38:44,490 --> 00:38:47,510
Mel:
tone for the show being that you know that 10

564
00:38:47,510 --> 00:38:50,350
Mel:
more ridiculous and and characters who are willing to

565
00:38:50,350 --> 00:38:53,450
Mel:
go a long way for a joke or an elopement as

566
00:38:53,450 --> 00:38:56,750
Mel:
it were um you know you've got hot guy races through

567
00:38:56,750 --> 00:39:00,070
Mel:
the streets of chicago like the end of a shitty rom-com he

568
00:39:00,070 --> 00:39:07,450
Mel:
whips around the corner and gridlock he's trapped and it both does it sets the

569
00:39:07,450 --> 00:39:11,910
Mel:
tone for the thing but if you're reading there's a every time i'm emphasizing

570
00:39:11,910 --> 00:39:17,430
Mel:
a word it's all caps there's a lot of exclamation points and as a tv script it was

571
00:39:17,610 --> 00:39:23,770
Mel:
interesting that how much they use a lot of all caps and parentheticals and

572
00:39:23,770 --> 00:39:27,710
Mel:
things like that i found that really interesting like very very heavily i.

573
00:39:27,710 --> 00:39:31,990
Chas:
Mean the that opening scene like i i'm glad you pointed that out because i think

574
00:39:31,990 --> 00:39:37,890
Chas:
what it did really well and i've uh banged on a lot about you know one of brian

575
00:39:37,890 --> 00:39:43,410
Chas:
duffield's early scripts having like the most unfilmable gags in its action line,

576
00:39:43,550 --> 00:39:46,010
Chas:
but they go towards tone, right?

577
00:39:46,190 --> 00:39:50,650
Chas:
So, all that stuff like, you know, the worst rom-com is making you go,

578
00:39:50,870 --> 00:39:53,350
Chas:
oh, this is deliberate, right? This is,

579
00:39:54,090 --> 00:39:58,390
Chas:
satire or spoof, right? You're not reading this thinking, oh,

580
00:39:58,490 --> 00:39:59,610
Chas:
this is the worst rom-com.

581
00:39:59,830 --> 00:40:02,710
Chas:
It's like they are aware that that's what they want you to be feeling,

582
00:40:02,730 --> 00:40:05,670
Chas:
but that it's going to be a funny version of that.

583
00:40:05,790 --> 00:40:11,710
Chas:
So, that goes to great lengths. But there was a particular gag in this opening

584
00:40:11,710 --> 00:40:14,070
Chas:
sequence that you wanted to get to.

585
00:40:14,230 --> 00:40:16,830
Chas:
And so, this is the only one that I've never seen at all.

586
00:40:17,030 --> 00:40:20,230
Chas:
It wasn't available on any of my many streaming services.

587
00:40:20,870 --> 00:40:25,590
Chas:
So, I read it and I was like, you know I was reading through this script and

588
00:40:25,590 --> 00:40:28,370
Chas:
I'm like I've got a good idea of the tone of this I've got a good idea of these

589
00:40:28,370 --> 00:40:32,210
Chas:
characters and I know that it's funny from the dialogue but I was almost about

590
00:40:32,210 --> 00:40:36,110
Chas:
to text you one of my classic like Mel you've picked a you've missed the brief again,

591
00:40:36,890 --> 00:40:40,050
Chas:
but then we got to that amazing scene later.

592
00:40:40,050 --> 00:40:43,370
Mel:
I do think it's interesting though in the opening scene,

593
00:40:44,270 --> 00:40:47,070
Mel:
that it does tell it also gives

594
00:40:47,070 --> 00:40:49,850
Mel:
us camera movements so it says we slowly pull the

595
00:40:49,850 --> 00:40:52,710
Mel:
camera back away from them and then the camera goes back into

596
00:40:52,710 --> 00:40:57,290
Mel:
the church like it is giving us camera movements as well because that is part

597
00:40:57,290 --> 00:41:01,850
Mel:
of not just the tone but like what we see which which happens uh quite a bit

598
00:41:01,850 --> 00:41:07,870
Mel:
in the next scene now i will note that this is definitely of the three be the

599
00:41:07,870 --> 00:41:10,990
Mel:
most changed from the script.

600
00:41:11,770 --> 00:41:21,030
Mel:
And it takes, it cuts one gag entirely, and it, oh, first of all,

601
00:41:21,570 --> 00:41:23,650
Mel:
interior Dave and Alex's apartment day.

602
00:41:23,930 --> 00:41:28,930
Mel:
It says it opens with Springsteen's She's the One blaring, actually opens with

603
00:41:28,930 --> 00:41:32,390
Mel:
Indigo Girls' Closer to Fine blaring. Excellent choice.

604
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:53,340
Excerpts:
Alex. Oh, hey, guys.

605
00:41:53,620 --> 00:41:57,640
Mel:
But most of the rest of it is the same, except one of the really interesting

606
00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:00,880
Mel:
things I noticed now, it's not about there are a lot of action lines.

607
00:42:01,060 --> 00:42:05,700
Mel:
There's a lot of physical gags. But what I realized was there's a lot more dialogue,

608
00:42:05,860 --> 00:42:08,240
Mel:
particularly from Dave than there is in the script.

609
00:42:08,420 --> 00:42:12,660
Mel:
It's the same basic content, but they give way more lines. And what I realized

610
00:42:12,660 --> 00:42:16,340
Mel:
is that when they started actually blocking the physicality,

611
00:42:16,500 --> 00:42:21,300
Mel:
they needed him to keep talking to get from one place to the other,

612
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:22,440
Mel:
from one gag to the other.

613
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:27,380
Mel:
So on the top of page nine, he has like four lines about, oh,

614
00:42:27,500 --> 00:42:29,080
Mel:
pretty good. I came up with an awesome new drink.

615
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:37,780
Mel:
And he probably has about 10 to 12 lines minimum that he's riffing on because

616
00:42:37,780 --> 00:42:39,540
Mel:
he has to get up, greet his friends.

617
00:42:39,540 --> 00:42:43,080
Mel:
We have to see that he's in the boxers. he has to walk across pull the blender

618
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:46,940
Mel:
out of the box so while he's doing all of the physicality that happen as the

619
00:42:46,940 --> 00:42:51,420
Mel:
action lines are written they've realized we don't have enough dialogue to to

620
00:42:51,420 --> 00:42:56,240
Mel:
to make this interesting as it goes so they've had to give more things for him

621
00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:58,140
Mel:
to say as he does things yeah.

622
00:42:58,140 --> 00:43:02,620
Chas:
I mean that's fascinating and we'll we'll play the the dialogue here is you

623
00:43:02,620 --> 00:43:05,480
Chas:
know pretty good i came up with an awesome new drink who wants to be the first

624
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:07,740
Chas:
customer to try my world-famous beer float.

625
00:43:07,940 --> 00:43:13,240
Chas:
So that's what's on the page and now we will excerpt what he actually has to say.

626
00:43:14,180 --> 00:43:17,380
Excerpts:
What's up? Hey, how you doing?

627
00:43:18,020 --> 00:43:22,540
Excerpts:
Sweetie. Great, really great. I'm kicking ass. I've been doing lots of stuff.

628
00:43:22,900 --> 00:43:26,620
Excerpts:
Taking online yoga, meeting great people. They're calling me Bodhi,

629
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:28,320
Excerpts:
which is awesome because of Point Break.

630
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:31,740
Excerpts:
Been watching that a lot. Totally holds up. what happened to laurie betty right

631
00:43:31,740 --> 00:43:39,420
Excerpts:
oh i invented a new drink who wants to try a gin smoothie crazy a little bit

632
00:43:39,420 --> 00:43:45,700
Excerpts:
of this a lot of that sidebar petty thanks to the blender it's awesome.

633
00:43:45,700 --> 00:43:51,100
Chas:
But what you're going to is the need because they probably could have done it

634
00:43:51,100 --> 00:43:55,720
Chas:
as shot oh sorry as scripted where you've got these short dialogue scenes and

635
00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:59,880
Chas:
cutting to the gag but then that edit would have cut out the physical humour of it.

636
00:44:00,180 --> 00:44:04,620
Chas:
The dialogue was insufficient to have the space to set up the gags.

637
00:44:04,780 --> 00:44:09,320
Chas:
And one of the really good things I think about this scene and how it's written

638
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:12,880
Chas:
on the page is it has two running...

639
00:44:13,820 --> 00:44:20,620
Chas:
Gags that it sets up on the page very early on in the scene.

640
00:44:20,860 --> 00:44:25,580
Chas:
Now, the first one is the one that develops and develops and develops,

641
00:44:25,780 --> 00:44:32,740
Chas:
which is David has just been left at the altar by his fiance for Rollerblades hot guy.

642
00:44:33,060 --> 00:44:39,080
Chas:
And not only that, she's gone on their pre-purchased honeymoon together.

643
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:44,560
Chas:
And Dave's been for a week, you know, wallowing, wallowing in their apartment.

644
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:46,820
Mel:
And using all of the wedding gifts.

645
00:44:47,100 --> 00:44:50,960
Chas:
Yeah. So Springsteen, she's the one blares in the messy room.

646
00:44:51,060 --> 00:44:54,120
Chas:
Shades drawn photos, bottles, wrapping paper strewn everywhere.

647
00:44:54,260 --> 00:44:57,860
Chas:
The place is packed with unwrapped slash opened wedding gifts.

648
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:02,600
Chas:
Find Dave tucks tie undone, disheveled on the couch, blanket over his lap.

649
00:45:02,740 --> 00:45:05,820
Chas:
He sings along as he opens gifts and arranges a fancy

650
00:45:05,820 --> 00:45:09,160
Chas:
place setting on the coffee table with some of them plate silverware

651
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:11,900
Chas:
napkin etc so it takes a bit of time to set this

652
00:45:11,900 --> 00:45:14,760
Chas:
up but what that then allows is that

653
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:21,080
Chas:
later in the scene every action line is nothing but him opening and using and

654
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:26,200
Chas:
abusing a new wedding gift and it it's like they take that time at the beginning

655
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:34,460
Chas:
of the scene to then allow those like quick physical humor beats to happen later on and.

656
00:45:34,460 --> 00:45:39,700
Mel:
The things actually So a few pages later, as all of his friends are talking,

657
00:45:40,060 --> 00:45:44,320
Mel:
it continually will just drop a little bit of an action line about what David is doing.

658
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:47,820
Mel:
Like David blows his nose. David sips the beer float, which which keeps him

659
00:45:47,820 --> 00:45:49,160
Mel:
front of mind because he's the point.

660
00:45:49,300 --> 00:45:52,740
Mel:
But it brings back those items. He literally blows his nose into the napkin

661
00:45:52,740 --> 00:45:54,040
Mel:
that was the place setting.

662
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:57,740
Mel:
You know, so those. Yeah, it sets the scene. It's something that you would,

663
00:45:57,820 --> 00:45:59,880
Mel:
in theory, see in two seconds on the screen.

664
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:04,220
Mel:
But all those things come back around, which is which is really great.

665
00:46:04,940 --> 00:46:10,960
Chas:
I mean, in one of them, like, David drops back down onto the couch, destroyed.

666
00:46:11,380 --> 00:46:16,660
Chas:
A toaster dings. And I was like, oh, it's the toaster in the kitchen.

667
00:46:16,780 --> 00:46:18,280
Chas:
Like, I immediately think toaster kitchen.

668
00:46:18,500 --> 00:46:25,160
Chas:
But the writers know that. And so, they say, a toaster, in brackets, gift, dings.

669
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:29,800
Chas:
So, now, without them having to say that it's with arm's reach of him on the

670
00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:35,060
Chas:
couch, Just from saying gift in brackets, I now know that that toaster is plugged

671
00:46:35,060 --> 00:46:37,220
Chas:
in and within arm's reach of the couch.

672
00:46:37,540 --> 00:46:41,500
Mel:
Which is a really good takeaway for me because I've got this one long scene

673
00:46:41,500 --> 00:46:45,040
Mel:
that I've been writing that uses several different things that are around the

674
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:48,560
Mel:
room and thinking about how sometimes you have to stop and say,

675
00:46:48,660 --> 00:46:51,300
Mel:
oh, you know, the Kleenex box is on top of the Chiffer robot, whatever.

676
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:55,200
Mel:
If you just set it all up at the beginning, it doesn't necessarily stop your flow.

677
00:46:55,360 --> 00:47:00,020
Mel:
Now, there's a balance to be had there. Sometimes you don't want to know about that.

678
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:04,040
Mel:
Kleenex box until you need to use it but yeah here because so many of the gags

679
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:07,660
Mel:
use the gifts having taking that time to set that all up at the beginning really

680
00:47:07,660 --> 00:47:10,200
Mel:
pays off because then it can just flow yeah.

681
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:16,080
Chas:
I mean so I'm just going to read through the gags and look maybe we'll we'll,

682
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:20,080
Chas:
will intersperse the dialogue from the actual show.

683
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:25,140
Chas:
So half of page eight was basically setting up the visuals of the room,

684
00:47:25,580 --> 00:47:27,080
Chas:
right? So it's doing all that setup.

685
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:33,020
Chas:
Page nine is pretty much all dialogue other than the beat that you've already

686
00:47:33,020 --> 00:47:36,800
Chas:
pointed out, which he grabs a blender out of gift box, scoops ice cream into

687
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:40,420
Chas:
it, pours beer over it, then holds it out to them beat.

688
00:47:40,660 --> 00:47:45,020
Mel:
And it's action, action, action, action, grabs a blender, scoops the ice cream,

689
00:47:45,140 --> 00:47:47,340
Mel:
pours beer. But real quick, before you finish the rest of this,

690
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:52,040
Mel:
at the very bottom of page eight, it says italics equal baby voice.

691
00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:52,420
Chas:
Oh, yeah.

692
00:47:52,540 --> 00:47:55,920
Mel:
And then throughout the next few pages, his friends will sometimes drop into

693
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:59,380
Mel:
baby voice when they're talking to him. Like, they're trying to be really gentle and not scare the baby.

694
00:47:59,500 --> 00:48:02,300
Mel:
So it sets that up and then it'll just keep using it.

695
00:48:02,580 --> 00:48:05,100
Chas:
Yeah, because that was the second running gag. And I'm like,

696
00:48:05,260 --> 00:48:07,920
Chas:
initially, I was like, why are they doing that?

697
00:48:08,240 --> 00:48:12,240
Chas:
And then I realized, because, again, that was right in that early setup when

698
00:48:12,240 --> 00:48:15,020
Chas:
the characters have come, the friends have come in. and it says,

699
00:48:15,180 --> 00:48:19,180
Chas:
yeah, in square brackets, italics equal baby voice. I'm like, why have they done that?

700
00:48:19,380 --> 00:48:26,440
Chas:
And then it's because every single character at a certain point uses the baby voice.

701
00:48:26,620 --> 00:48:31,360
Chas:
So it's funny on the page as well, like a line that might not have been so funny.

702
00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:38,500
Chas:
You're imagining without them every time having to go parenthetical baby voice.

703
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,440
Mel:
Because we've all been there, right? Whichever side of it we're on, we've

704
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:43,500
Mel:
all either been in the group of friends you've been the one where the group

705
00:48:43,500 --> 00:48:44,160
Mel:
of friends have come before

706
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:47,860
Mel:
and it starts becoming contagious and you're like oh all of you at some point

707
00:48:47,860 --> 00:48:51,660
Mel:
are doing this to me or you know you you suddenly realized to your friend that

708
00:48:51,660 --> 00:48:57,380
Mel:
oh we're all just oh honey it's okay so yeah they mention it and then it'll

709
00:48:57,380 --> 00:49:03,060
Mel:
keep coming back but they don't need to you're right do the do the parentheticals every time all.

710
00:49:03,060 --> 00:49:08,980
Chas:
Right so uh forgive me for my uh performance interspersed with the uh excerpts

711
00:49:08,980 --> 00:49:10,320
Chas:
but let's see how this comes out.

712
00:49:11,100 --> 00:49:16,480
Chas:
If I don't do that and these are just the gags, these are the gags done in the action line.

713
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:19,700
Chas:
Dave pulls out a piece of toast, takes a sad bite.

714
00:49:20,430 --> 00:49:25,730
Chas:
Dave sips the beer float, recoils disgusted, then wipes his mouth with the linen

715
00:49:25,730 --> 00:49:27,410
Chas:
napkin from the play setting.

716
00:49:28,050 --> 00:49:33,710
Chas:
Dave blows his nose into the napkin. This was the one that you were referring to earlier.

717
00:49:33,970 --> 00:49:37,130
Excerpts:
Dave, you're giving off a real Howard Hughes vibe here. I feel like you're about

718
00:49:37,130 --> 00:49:38,850
Excerpts:
10 minutes away from storing your urine in jars.

719
00:49:39,090 --> 00:49:42,970
Excerpts:
Let's go get you some food. I just ate three French bread pizzas and most of

720
00:49:42,970 --> 00:49:44,510
Excerpts:
the world's largest chocolate bread.

721
00:49:45,370 --> 00:49:50,810
Chas:
They, the friends, look left to see an fao schwartz sized chocolate groom and

722
00:49:50,810 --> 00:49:54,750
Chas:
the disemboweled bottom half of the bride beat i.

723
00:49:54,750 --> 00:49:56,830
Excerpts:
Left the hand to hold.

724
00:49:56,830 --> 00:49:59,730
Mel:
If that's interesting you say that because the next

725
00:49:59,730 --> 00:50:02,550
Mel:
part that whole flashback part is the part that they've completely cut out

726
00:50:02,550 --> 00:50:05,510
Mel:
so it simply continues all right the

727
00:50:05,510 --> 00:50:10,050
Mel:
gags okay it goes to david lays down on the couch defeated and pulls a nice

728
00:50:10,050 --> 00:50:15,610
Mel:
blanket gift tag visible over himself beat the friends don't know what to do

729
00:50:15,610 --> 00:50:19,710
Mel:
so it's actually realized that that flashback scene has interrupted the flow

730
00:50:19,710 --> 00:50:22,990
Mel:
of all of these gags that are going and it skips that entirely so.

731
00:50:22,990 --> 00:50:29,650
Chas:
What is impressive i think about they've taken the time up front in the scene

732
00:50:29,650 --> 00:50:37,410
Chas:
to set up the geography and the layout of the room and two running gags so the

733
00:50:37,410 --> 00:50:42,230
Chas:
the baby voice running gag but That's a performance one, but they've set it up for the reader.

734
00:50:42,350 --> 00:50:45,270
Chas:
It becomes funnier for the reader because I'm now like waiting to go,

735
00:50:45,410 --> 00:50:48,250
Chas:
who's going to talk in baby voice next.

736
00:50:48,750 --> 00:50:53,890
Chas:
But then by doing all the gifts and setting that up, I am seeing those gags

737
00:50:53,890 --> 00:51:00,430
Chas:
and I'm laughing at them as he uses and abuses each of these wedding gifts one after another.

738
00:51:00,810 --> 00:51:05,610
Chas:
And it's painting a picture for me of the whole room as he moves from one to the other.

739
00:51:05,610 --> 00:51:08,470
Chas:
It's uh yeah it's a this was

740
00:51:08,470 --> 00:51:12,290
Chas:
an excellent scene to pick and i was originally going to say you know you've

741
00:51:12,290 --> 00:51:15,310
Chas:
missed the brief the only funny thing that's in the first scene is the word

742
00:51:15,310 --> 00:51:20,970
Chas:
rollerblades but this one despite being a very dialogue heavy scene does the

743
00:51:20,970 --> 00:51:25,190
Chas:
physical humor on the page perfectly because the physical humor is almost completely

744
00:51:25,190 --> 00:51:27,330
Chas:
disconnected from the dialogue.

745
00:51:27,330 --> 00:51:31,910
Mel:
Yeah i think in the first scene it's there's a there's a couple of moments and

746
00:51:31,910 --> 00:51:35,330
Mel:
this is about it being interspersed through the scene because i started reading

747
00:51:35,330 --> 00:51:38,830
Mel:
it and i texted you i was like actually we should do the next thing actually

748
00:51:38,830 --> 00:51:44,630
Mel:
no we should and then you were like we should just do the next thing like yeah that one um.

749
00:51:44,630 --> 00:51:47,470
Chas:
But do you have anything else you want to observe from.

750
00:51:47,470 --> 00:51:51,730
Mel:
No i think there there are still one or two parentheticals in there and what's

751
00:51:51,730 --> 00:51:54,850
Mel:
interesting to me is like so you get this moment where brad and then it goes

752
00:51:54,850 --> 00:51:59,010
Mel:
parentheses re beer float and parentheses and it's something that's not strictly

753
00:51:59,010 --> 00:52:03,450
Mel:
physical comedy but it's where the lines are telling you what he's referencing,

754
00:52:03,470 --> 00:52:05,270
Mel:
what he's looking at, referring to.

755
00:52:05,410 --> 00:52:09,430
Mel:
You give the actor a moment to sort of really react to that because there's

756
00:52:09,430 --> 00:52:12,790
Mel:
all these bits going. You have a few...

757
00:52:13,720 --> 00:52:16,460
Mel:
Bits again where we a lot of those sort

758
00:52:16,460 --> 00:52:19,580
Mel:
of all caps like when a toaster gift dings a

759
00:52:19,580 --> 00:52:22,680
Mel:
toaster dings is in all caps with an exclamation point yeah

760
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:25,400
Mel:
so there's a lot of those different things going on like

761
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:28,080
Mel:
fao schwartz size chocolate groom and the

762
00:52:28,080 --> 00:52:31,140
Mel:
disemboweled bottom half of the bride all in caps yeah

763
00:52:31,140 --> 00:52:34,300
Mel:
you know um and in the actual film

764
00:52:34,300 --> 00:52:37,480
Mel:
scene there's a moment where he that that

765
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:40,220
Mel:
he's either ad-libbed or they've added in shot list where he says i left

766
00:52:40,220 --> 00:52:43,100
Mel:
the hand to hold he reaches over and holds her hand for just

767
00:52:43,100 --> 00:52:45,960
Mel:
a beat and then takes his hand away looks at his hand and there's chocolate

768
00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:49,100
Mel:
on it so starts licking his fingers uh you know when you've

769
00:52:49,100 --> 00:52:52,320
Mel:
set up so many the toaster the

770
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:55,420
Mel:
beer the napkin the place setting the tags on

771
00:52:55,420 --> 00:52:58,180
Mel:
the get when you've set up all these things that you've given the

772
00:52:58,180 --> 00:53:00,980
Mel:
actors a lot to play with you've given the set designers a

773
00:53:00,980 --> 00:53:03,700
Mel:
lot of really specific things you you know you

774
00:53:03,700 --> 00:53:09,880
Mel:
you've given so many pieces of the puzzle to play with that that's just an absolute

775
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:13,840
Mel:
joy and you can see that it's not like oh they ad-libbed because they're better

776
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:18,760
Mel:
than the writers the writers have set all of that up really well on the page

777
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:22,300
Mel:
um and so yeah i i got quite a bit out of that as well the.

778
00:53:22,300 --> 00:53:26,900
Chas:
Quote-unquote sacrifice that they've made in terms of white space is at the

779
00:53:26,900 --> 00:53:33,040
Chas:
opening of that scene there's two paragraphs a three-line paragraph and a four line paragraph.

780
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:40,720
Chas:
And after that, every action line is a two or a one line paragraph that is a gag.

781
00:53:41,140 --> 00:53:46,220
Chas:
And they've done it so well. And I'm fascinated that they did cut the flashback.

782
00:53:46,380 --> 00:53:51,080
Chas:
The flashback seemed like it would fit, you know, it was very Scrubs kind of thing.

783
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:56,820
Chas:
Like character talks about funny moment in life, cut to that thing happening. Ha ha, hilarious.

784
00:53:57,160 --> 00:54:01,280
Chas:
You know, it gives you a chance to do more gags so interesting that they that

785
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:06,640
Chas:
the scene was working so well that introducing that flashback would have um compromised it.

786
00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:11,700
Mel:
And then it does it ends with a smash cut too so we get another you know sort of direction.

787
00:54:11,700 --> 00:54:14,920
Chas:
And um it's great yeah

788
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:18,640
Chas:
i mean they like so in the first scene

789
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:21,660
Chas:
with the with the wedding they've they're being more

790
00:54:21,660 --> 00:54:25,060
Chas:
explicit with camera movements i think that's another thing that maybe i'm learning

791
00:54:25,060 --> 00:54:30,100
Chas:
and it's like it should be obvious but you know how I love how Craig Mazin like

792
00:54:30,100 --> 00:54:33,780
Chas:
keeps on railing against the gurus who say don't direct from the page and he's

793
00:54:33,780 --> 00:54:40,040
Chas:
like that's our job but it is making me kind of keenly aware that it's,

794
00:54:40,850 --> 00:54:44,210
Chas:
And any comedy writer out there is going to go, why the fuck are we listening

795
00:54:44,210 --> 00:54:47,730
Chas:
to Chaz? But frame is so important for humor.

796
00:54:47,930 --> 00:54:51,090
Chas:
Like comedy might be in the two shot. Comedy might be in the wide.

797
00:54:51,290 --> 00:54:55,070
Chas:
Comedy might be in the close up. And it's important to, you know,

798
00:54:55,170 --> 00:54:59,290
Chas:
perhaps direct the camera a bit more because it might be funnier.

799
00:54:59,510 --> 00:55:03,890
Mel:
Yep. So many of these gags are visually dependent. Like, so for example,

800
00:55:04,070 --> 00:55:09,410
Mel:
it's really important that we haven't seen the chocolate groom before that gag

801
00:55:09,410 --> 00:55:11,030
Mel:
because it's funnier that way.

802
00:55:11,090 --> 00:55:16,570
Mel:
And so they look left to see or camera sees or whatever in some ways is really important.

803
00:55:16,730 --> 00:55:20,570
Mel:
And sometimes it's important that you only see the top half of somebody because

804
00:55:20,570 --> 00:55:21,850
Mel:
something's going to come in later.

805
00:55:22,250 --> 00:55:26,750
Mel:
And when you're reading it, you only get the one chance to set up in the viewer's

806
00:55:26,750 --> 00:55:28,850
Mel:
eye what they are or are not seeing.

807
00:55:29,170 --> 00:55:31,890
Mel:
And so that camera stuff is helpful.

808
00:55:31,890 --> 00:55:35,810
Chas:
Now, this is unrelated to the brief, but I think it's impressive.

809
00:55:35,970 --> 00:55:39,870
Chas:
And it reminds me of what they did in the Yellow Jackets pilot.

810
00:55:40,110 --> 00:55:46,470
Chas:
And it's the transition from the bottom of page three from the wedding into the show.

811
00:55:46,710 --> 00:55:56,410
Chas:
And the reason why I just want to call it out is I think it's so essential to a pilot in particular.

812
00:55:56,410 --> 00:56:02,210
Chas:
So, Alex grabs Hot Guy's hand, a rom-com score ignites as they run up the aisle

813
00:56:02,210 --> 00:56:03,690
Chas:
and burst out of the church.

814
00:56:03,850 --> 00:56:06,410
Chas:
We follow them into the sunset as the score crescendos.

815
00:56:07,250 --> 00:56:11,550
Chas:
It's the perfect happy ending to a shitty rom-com. But.

816
00:56:12,010 --> 00:56:18,290
Chas:
And the word but is in all caps, italics and underlined, followed by an ellipses.

817
00:56:18,290 --> 00:56:25,230
Chas:
As they run slash blade towards Bliss, we slowly pull the camera back away from

818
00:56:25,230 --> 00:56:29,530
Chas:
them, ellipses, and then back into the church, ellipses.

819
00:56:29,870 --> 00:56:33,750
Chas:
Interior church continuous. Find Dave on the altar destroyed,

820
00:56:33,990 --> 00:56:35,530
Chas:
flanked by the stunned wedding party.

821
00:56:35,810 --> 00:56:39,210
Chas:
This is the story of the other side of the happy ending.

822
00:56:39,530 --> 00:56:42,310
Chas:
The place is silent. A cough, a whisper.

823
00:56:42,970 --> 00:56:48,390
Chas:
So like that line this is the story of the other side of the happy ending it's

824
00:56:48,390 --> 00:56:52,470
Chas:
it's perfect it's in the perfect place and they they're i feel like they've

825
00:56:52,470 --> 00:56:57,890
Chas:
set that up so wonderfully because of all that camera direction on the page

826
00:56:57,890 --> 00:57:02,590
Chas:
because that's a visual gag the run slash blade towards bliss is.

827
00:57:02,590 --> 00:57:05,790
Mel:
So good funny yes it's funny as a

828
00:57:05,790 --> 00:57:08,610
Mel:
word it's funny to try to visualize it it's all great and

829
00:57:08,610 --> 00:57:12,050
Mel:
it also like also there's the idea that they're clearly mismatched yeah

830
00:57:12,050 --> 00:57:14,770
Mel:
you know you're getting all of that like she's she's not

831
00:57:14,770 --> 00:57:18,010
Mel:
actually in love with this guy there's just there's a

832
00:57:18,010 --> 00:57:20,850
Mel:
lot of other things at play oh and then those other things

833
00:57:20,850 --> 00:57:23,570
Mel:
at play are dave at the altar surrounded by their

834
00:57:23,570 --> 00:57:26,530
Mel:
friends um this is absolutely one of the most

835
00:57:26,530 --> 00:57:31,930
Mel:
uh underrated at least in terms of you know it didn't get very much awards attention

836
00:57:31,930 --> 00:57:36,670
Mel:
didn't get whatever just one of the most fantastic sitcoms of the last um well

837
00:57:36,670 --> 00:57:44,430
Mel:
it came out the same year as bridesmaids so it has been 14 years so speaking of bridesmaids i.

838
00:57:44,430 --> 00:57:51,250
Chas:
Mean didn't you i'm not sure did you say on on on mike on air that that episode

839
00:57:51,250 --> 00:57:52,510
Chas:
was directed by the russo brothers.

840
00:57:52,510 --> 00:57:56,590
Mel:
No i didn't so yes this is directed by the russo brothers which i think would

841
00:57:56,590 --> 00:58:00,650
Mel:
have been right around the time they were directing community yeah so having

842
00:58:00,650 --> 00:58:04,570
Mel:
them direct your pilot it'll just sort of get like again this is a time when

843
00:58:04,570 --> 00:58:09,390
Mel:
pilot season was still a thing um would have definitely guaranteed you'd get

844
00:58:09,390 --> 00:58:11,970
Mel:
it seen so yeah the russo brothers directed Mm-hmm.

845
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:18,040
Excerpts:
I'm engaged! Oh my God! He asked me last night! What?

846
00:58:18,680 --> 00:58:23,140
Excerpts:
What is happening? So will you be my maid of honor? Of course I will!

847
00:58:23,420 --> 00:58:25,200
Excerpts:
I don't know what I'm supposed to do. You know, just whatever.

848
00:58:25,360 --> 00:58:26,520
Excerpts:
Throw the bachelorette party. Yeah.

849
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:29,060
Excerpts:
Shower and... Oh my God.

850
00:58:32,500 --> 00:58:37,380
Excerpts:
Let's go meet the rest of the bridal party. Oh my God. I get to punch it a couple times.

851
00:58:38,560 --> 00:58:41,520
Excerpts:
You remember my cousin, Rita? They just bought a new house.

852
00:58:41,640 --> 00:58:45,300
Excerpts:
It is gorgeous. I wouldn't know. I only see the kitchen and the laundry room

853
00:58:45,300 --> 00:58:46,860
Excerpts:
and the ceiling in my bedroom.

854
00:58:48,100 --> 00:58:52,720
Excerpts:
Sometimes the floor. This is Becca from work. Is this your husband?

855
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:57,240
Excerpts:
Oh no, I don't know him. I'm single. I was so distraught when I was single.

856
00:58:57,440 --> 00:58:59,820
Excerpts:
I'm fine being by myself.

857
00:59:01,060 --> 00:59:04,360
Excerpts:
Oh, Becca. This is Ducky's sister, Megan.

858
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:07,880
Excerpts:
You must be Annie's fella. I'm not, he's not, I'm not with him.

859
00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:10,640
Excerpts:
I'm glad he's single because I'm going to climb that like a tree.

860
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:17,680
Excerpts:
You have to meet Helen You're so pretty You're so cute Did you come from work?

861
00:59:18,040 --> 00:59:23,400
Chas:
My kids are getting into rom-coms Love this so much I really want to show them

862
00:59:23,400 --> 00:59:25,840
Chas:
Bridesmaids But I have to keep reminding myself,

863
00:59:26,780 --> 00:59:32,740
Chas:
Not about this sequence that we're going to do The extended food poisoning sequence

864
00:59:32,740 --> 00:59:35,200
Chas:
in the middle of the film Yeah.

865
00:59:35,260 --> 00:59:36,780
Mel:
They'd probably love this Oh yeah.

866
00:59:36,860 --> 00:59:41,020
Chas:
They would love this bit You know, I keep having to remind myself of,

867
00:59:41,180 --> 00:59:45,100
Chas:
um, it's, it's actually a piece, a perfect piece of physical performance.

868
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:48,280
Chas:
I actually want to go to the script and find it. But when, you know,

869
00:59:48,380 --> 00:59:51,340
Chas:
opening on that scene between Annie and, um,

870
00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:55,740
Chas:
like where she's describing how he's like hanging his penis,

871
00:59:55,740 --> 01:00:00,380
Chas:
like near her face, like just strongly inferring that he would like a blow job.

872
01:00:00,580 --> 01:00:05,680
Chas:
And, uh, Kristen Wiig's performance of that is, uh, hilarious.

873
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:13,500
Excerpts:
Eww, you had sex with him. We had an adult sleepover. Oh.

874
01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:16,240
Excerpts:
Did you let him sleep over in your mouth?

875
01:00:19,020 --> 01:00:24,820
Excerpts:
Annie. I'm sorry. You're unbelievable. He kept, like, putting it near my face.

876
01:00:25,020 --> 01:00:27,320
Excerpts:
They do that, don't they? Why do they do that? Let us offer.

877
01:00:27,500 --> 01:00:30,720
Excerpts:
If we don't offer... Please, you're supposed to slap it away. I couldn't.

878
01:00:33,320 --> 01:00:39,440
Excerpts:
You don't want to look right at it. No. It's too aggressive. I don't care. Hello.

879
01:00:40,460 --> 01:00:44,180
Excerpts:
That's my impression. Those are the balls. Yeah. I'm trying to make it round,

880
01:00:44,240 --> 01:00:45,060
Excerpts:
but I can't because I have elbows.

881
01:00:45,580 --> 01:00:50,980
Chas:
And yeah, I don't, my nine-year-old and 11-year-old are perhaps not yet ready

882
01:00:50,980 --> 01:00:53,720
Chas:
to find that as funny as I find it.

883
01:00:53,760 --> 01:00:58,240
Mel:
Speaking of Kristen Wiig, though, I will make a tiny plug that the writers of

884
01:00:58,240 --> 01:01:01,160
Mel:
Bridesmaids also wrote and starred in Bardman,

885
01:01:01,340 --> 01:01:04,020
Mel:
Stargarden, Vista Del Mar, which again speaking of something that

886
01:01:04,020 --> 01:01:06,880
Mel:
is just so wildly underrated um so if

887
01:01:06,880 --> 01:01:09,900
Mel:
you like bridesmaids you should watch that film uh and

888
01:01:09,900 --> 01:01:13,360
Mel:
i read the screenplay but yeah here we go and again

889
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:16,740
Mel:
this is filmed very closely to

890
01:01:16,740 --> 01:01:19,720
Mel:
what it is however there's a couple bits that

891
01:01:19,720 --> 01:01:22,760
Mel:
the order has changed and there's two gags in particular both

892
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:25,560
Mel:
of which involving just melissa mccarthy off on her own

893
01:01:25,560 --> 01:01:28,440
Mel:
doing stuff that aren't anywhere at all and

894
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:31,620
Mel:
i just have a feeling that was just like melissa mccarthy is doing some funny

895
01:01:31,620 --> 01:01:36,500
Mel:
shit so uh let's film it and if we need a place to drop it in we will but for

896
01:01:36,500 --> 01:01:41,160
Mel:
the most part it quite closely follows the page other than again going oh actually

897
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:45,120
Mel:
the flow here works better if we don't you know cut back to this other room

898
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:47,740
Mel:
so they they rearrange the pieces okay.

899
01:01:47,740 --> 01:01:52,660
Chas:
Interesting i had completely forgotten i remembered that this script was nominated

900
01:01:52,660 --> 01:01:56,280
Chas:
for an oscar i forgot that um melissa mccarthy was nominated.

901
01:01:56,280 --> 01:02:03,460
Mel:
Honestly that we need to do more like ensemble cast and also just like casting

902
01:02:03,460 --> 01:02:08,860
Mel:
like full stop just casting director awards for something like this like putting

903
01:02:08,860 --> 01:02:11,800
Mel:
this team together chef's kiss yeah.

904
01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:16,640
Chas:
Okay so for for listeners who don't know and are willing to to get spoiled uh

905
01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:19,120
Chas:
bridesmaids is the what did you say 2011.

906
01:02:19,120 --> 01:02:20,020
Mel:
Yes 2011.

907
01:02:20,020 --> 01:02:27,620
Chas:
Comedy film uh set uh with two best friends annie and lillian lillian is getting

908
01:02:27,620 --> 01:02:31,780
Chas:
married, Annie is her maid of honour, and the...

909
01:02:32,630 --> 01:02:37,670
Chas:
The drive of the film is around Lillian's new friend, Helen,

910
01:02:37,970 --> 01:02:40,310
Chas:
who is very wealthy, played by Rose Byrne.

911
01:02:40,450 --> 01:02:41,110
Mel:
Aussie shout out.

912
01:02:41,430 --> 01:02:50,050
Chas:
And Annie's competition for Lillian's affections gets hilariously and way out of hand.

913
01:02:50,230 --> 01:02:55,450
Chas:
And there's two, no, three additional bridesmaids, Megan, played by Melissa

914
01:02:55,450 --> 01:02:59,490
Chas:
McCarthy, and then there's Rita and Becca.

915
01:02:59,490 --> 01:03:04,370
Mel:
Ellie Kemper and Wendy McClellan Covey is Rita.

916
01:03:04,910 --> 01:03:10,730
Chas:
Okay. And look, I feel remiss in not having mentioned that Maya Rudolph plays Lillian.

917
01:03:10,890 --> 01:03:15,790
Mel:
I was watching this just thinking about, like, if you watch behind the scenes

918
01:03:15,790 --> 01:03:19,050
Mel:
of certain things, Bridesmaid and The Good Place as well.

919
01:03:19,190 --> 01:03:22,650
Mel:
She has so few lines, actually, in this scene.

920
01:03:22,790 --> 01:03:28,390
Mel:
It's really not until the end about her. but every time she does a line delivery

921
01:03:28,390 --> 01:03:29,990
Mel:
it's completely different.

922
01:03:29,990 --> 01:03:31,050
Chas:
And utterly.

923
01:03:31,050 --> 01:03:35,730
Mel:
Hilarious she's just phenomenal and she's so good in this.

924
01:03:35,730 --> 01:03:43,310
Chas:
So um the the setup for this particular scene is that annie has taken like she

925
01:03:43,310 --> 01:03:47,530
Chas:
loves finding interesting little cheap restaurants.

926
01:03:47,530 --> 01:03:51,390
Excerpts:
I know it looks a little scary on the outside but the food is really good authentic

927
01:03:51,390 --> 01:03:54,350
Excerpts:
brazilian i'm telling you this is where Brazilians come to eat.

928
01:03:54,510 --> 01:03:56,770
Excerpts:
I got to say, and he's really good at this show. He's dragged me to the weirdest

929
01:03:56,770 --> 01:03:59,170
Excerpts:
places and the food is always incredible.

930
01:03:59,470 --> 01:04:01,330
Excerpts:
And plus you get a lot for your money too. So that's good.

931
01:04:01,890 --> 01:04:07,990
Chas:
And then they've gone from the Brazilian place to a really high end bridal shop.

932
01:04:09,710 --> 01:04:13,210
Excerpts:
Belle en Blanc. This is the place. Great job.

933
01:04:13,690 --> 01:04:18,750
Excerpts:
Belle en Blanc.

934
01:04:19,050 --> 01:04:23,710
Excerpts:
Reservation name. Oh, I don't, I don't have one. we're just here to shop just to try on some dresses.

935
01:04:24,030 --> 01:04:26,950
Excerpts:
Okay. Well, the next available appointment for bridesmaids fittings is in seven

936
01:04:26,950 --> 01:04:28,670
Excerpts:
weeks. Absolutely no walk-in.

937
01:04:29,410 --> 01:04:35,210
Excerpts:
Whitney, it's Helen. Helen Harris? Yeah. Hi. Oh my God. Hi. Listen,

938
01:04:35,290 --> 01:04:36,730
Excerpts:
I'll buzz you right in. Great. Thank you.

939
01:04:37,450 --> 01:04:42,570
Chas:
So they're all in surrounded by these very expensive dresses.

940
01:04:42,870 --> 01:04:49,350
Chas:
And as they are trying on the dresses, everyone who ate meat at the Brazilian

941
01:04:49,350 --> 01:04:55,750
Chas:
restaurant, which is everyone except But Helen starts to get horrific food poisoning.

942
01:04:56,010 --> 01:04:58,710
Mel:
It's our first sign that Helen's actually queer. Just saying.

943
01:04:58,870 --> 01:04:59,070
Chas:
Okay.

944
01:05:00,010 --> 01:05:06,310
Mel:
Look, I ship Helen and Megan together. So that's beside the point.

945
01:05:06,590 --> 01:05:11,750
Chas:
Look, this scene has got a lot of dialogue. And there's some bits where they're

946
01:05:11,750 --> 01:05:14,730
Chas:
using the dialogue to actually paint the visuals.

947
01:05:14,730 --> 01:05:21,290
Chas:
So in some ways it undermines what we're trying to look for here,

948
01:05:21,510 --> 01:05:24,050
Chas:
except maybe if you've got a scene well established enough,

949
01:05:25,050 --> 01:05:32,570
Chas:
Having characters talking about what's happening is the funnier option than doing it in big print.

950
01:05:32,950 --> 01:05:37,170
Chas:
Sorry, for non-Australian listeners, I keep forgetting, every now and then we

951
01:05:37,170 --> 01:05:39,970
Chas:
get a listener go, what is this big print of which they speak?

952
01:05:40,170 --> 01:05:41,730
Chas:
We're talking about action lines.

953
01:05:41,890 --> 01:05:47,270
Mel:
I do think the action lines, they start foreshadowing things quite early.

954
01:05:47,670 --> 01:05:52,250
Excerpts:
This is some classy shit here. Jesus, Megan.

955
01:05:52,630 --> 01:05:56,810
Excerpts:
I'm sorry, I won't apologize. eyes i'm not even confident of which end that came out of.

956
01:05:56,810 --> 01:06:01,230
Mel:
A burp escapes megan's mouth like that's you know it's just an action line and

957
01:06:01,230 --> 01:06:05,770
Mel:
then we move on and you just think oh okay so it starts seeding it in before

958
01:06:05,770 --> 01:06:07,390
Mel:
everything really gets rolling.

959
01:06:07,390 --> 01:06:10,590
Chas:
Yeah i but i would also like to note that the the they

960
01:06:10,590 --> 01:06:13,870
Chas:
don't overdo the big print here like

961
01:06:13,870 --> 01:06:17,590
Chas:
i i can't point to anything that

962
01:06:17,590 --> 01:06:20,410
Chas:
is like oh they did this incredible there's this

963
01:06:20,410 --> 01:06:25,770
Chas:
one line that just blows me away it is largely describing what we see in here

964
01:06:25,770 --> 01:06:31,250
Chas:
but almost every action line was making me laugh out loud on the on public transport

965
01:06:31,250 --> 01:06:39,330
Chas:
um by the time it it really kicks off so yes on page 39 you've got the burp escaping megan's mouth,

966
01:06:40,020 --> 01:06:43,620
Chas:
they start talking about the dresses and how expensive they are.

967
01:06:43,760 --> 01:06:48,720
Chas:
And it's only after a time jump when they've cut to later, they're in the main fitting area.

968
01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:54,420
Chas:
It's on page 40 that the top of that scene is a two line action line.

969
01:06:54,560 --> 01:06:56,380
Chas:
The girls are in different dresses.

970
01:06:56,880 --> 01:07:03,100
Chas:
Lillian is not there. They look great, comma, although Megan's face is beet red.

971
01:07:03,340 --> 01:07:08,760
Chas:
And this is the one thing that I will they do a lot is two clause sentences

972
01:07:08,760 --> 01:07:15,460
Chas:
so they'll do one clause telling you what's going on and then the next clause is a more funny detail.

973
01:07:15,460 --> 01:07:18,180
Mel:
I do think the um you you mentioned the

974
01:07:18,180 --> 01:07:22,580
Mel:
time jump and that's actually one of the places where they insert Melissa McCarthy

975
01:07:22,580 --> 01:07:27,360
Mel:
doing you know ad-libbing with the sofa and I think it is partly to make it

976
01:07:27,360 --> 01:07:31,380
Mel:
clear that there has been a significant time jump and And it's not because we're

977
01:07:31,380 --> 01:07:36,400
Mel:
otherwise we're going from Annie looking at a dress and a drip of sweat comes

978
01:07:36,400 --> 01:07:38,100
Mel:
down her face to the girls in different dresses.

979
01:07:38,340 --> 01:07:41,920
Mel:
And I think then showing this big wide shot of Melissa McCarthy flopping on

980
01:07:41,920 --> 01:07:45,180
Mel:
the on the couch with nobody else in the room makes it clear that everyone is

981
01:07:45,180 --> 01:07:46,520
Mel:
sort of moving on and doing something else.

982
01:07:46,640 --> 01:07:50,720
Mel:
Whereas if you just went from Annie to the big group, it might take you a minute to bump on.

983
01:07:51,040 --> 01:07:54,180
Mel:
Oh, wait, what has happened here?

984
01:07:54,460 --> 01:08:00,360
Mel:
It's not a huge thing, but it is a small thing that just helps smooth out the time jump.

985
01:08:00,540 --> 01:08:05,340
Chas:
Yeah. So we get through the rest of page 40 and half of page 41.

986
01:08:05,480 --> 01:08:08,500
Chas:
They are talking in dialogue about it being hot.

987
01:08:08,740 --> 01:08:13,600
Excerpts:
This is designer as well. Is anyone else hot? It is like an oven user.

988
01:08:14,080 --> 01:08:19,100
Chas:
And then I think this is important. The paragraph where it all kicks off is

989
01:08:19,100 --> 01:08:20,200
Chas:
actually really understated.

990
01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:23,740
Chas:
There's no exclamation marks. There's no italics.

991
01:08:23,960 --> 01:08:26,720
Mel:
No all caps, which we've seen in other places in this script.

992
01:08:26,720 --> 01:08:30,700
Chas:
But to make us read it, they do interrupt Annie's line.

993
01:08:31,180 --> 01:08:31,740
Excerpts:
Lillian.

994
01:08:33,100 --> 01:08:35,980
Excerpts:
I don't know what to say you look so.

995
01:08:35,980 --> 01:08:38,880
Chas:
She's halfway through a

996
01:08:38,880 --> 01:08:42,440
Chas:
line says you are and then dash dash by

997
01:08:42,440 --> 01:08:45,320
Chas:
doing that interruption it is forcing us to to

998
01:08:45,320 --> 01:08:49,220
Chas:
read the the paragraph and also the paragraph is four lines long it actually

999
01:08:49,220 --> 01:08:55,300
Chas:
really stands out from everything else in the in the script so far so it is

1000
01:08:55,300 --> 01:08:59,600
Chas:
trying to use techniques to force you to read the action line and the action

1001
01:08:59,600 --> 01:09:04,780
Chas:
line is megan lurches forward as the contents of her stomach come up into her mouth.

1002
01:09:05,180 --> 01:09:09,200
Chas:
She claps her hand over her mouth to stop from throwing up.

1003
01:09:09,460 --> 01:09:14,720
Chas:
After a beat, she swallows it and pushes it back down. Looks nauseous.

1004
01:09:15,140 --> 01:09:16,520
Mel:
Asterisk, nauseated.

1005
01:09:18,740 --> 01:09:24,320
Chas:
I do, I think I like how many, they use way more words than they need to,

1006
01:09:24,420 --> 01:09:27,580
Chas:
like they're deliberately overwriting, like in terms of using white space,

1007
01:09:27,700 --> 01:09:28,860
Chas:
like they're taking their time with it.

1008
01:09:29,000 --> 01:09:30,300
Mel:
And multiple full stops.

1009
01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:37,600
Chas:
The contents of her stomach cup come up into her mouth is more words than you need to describe that.

1010
01:09:37,760 --> 01:09:40,900
Chas:
And that is a deliberate comedic choice.

1011
01:09:41,300 --> 01:09:45,840
Mel:
Yeah. It's not she gags or dry heaves or yeah, it's a full line.

1012
01:09:46,180 --> 01:09:53,080
Chas:
Yeah. And then the next paragraph is following Annie trying to deny Helen's accusation.

1013
01:09:54,120 --> 01:09:57,040
Chas:
She's caused the food poisoning with her choice of restaurant

1014
01:09:57,040 --> 01:09:59,920
Chas:
and the action line is Annie is really

1015
01:09:59,920 --> 01:10:03,340
Chas:
sweaty now comma a mark between her boobs and

1016
01:10:03,340 --> 01:10:06,020
Chas:
that's what I mean about like you know you could have just said

1017
01:10:06,020 --> 01:10:08,980
Chas:
Annie is really sweaty now but now they've just added a little

1018
01:10:08,980 --> 01:10:13,320
Chas:
comedic detail into that sentence suddenly

1019
01:10:13,320 --> 01:10:18,360
Chas:
Becca politely cups her hand over her mouth to stifle herself from getting sick

1020
01:10:18,360 --> 01:10:24,340
Chas:
and sorry i'm just laughing reading it back over right now we've gone to the

1021
01:10:24,340 --> 01:10:31,860
Chas:
next page it's clear that rita's also sick but then i do love this so rita says you.

1022
01:10:31,860 --> 01:10:34,620
Excerpts:
Know i don't really care which dress we get it doesn't matter me i just need

1023
01:10:34,620 --> 01:10:37,200
Excerpts:
to get off this white carpet okay no not the bathroom.

1024
01:10:37,200 --> 01:10:42,560
Chas:
And then we hear a noise it doesn't describe what the noise is and.

1025
01:10:42,560 --> 01:10:44,480
Mel:
It's sent it's just that one by itself.

1026
01:10:44,480 --> 01:10:44,840
Chas:
And then.

1027
01:10:44,840 --> 01:10:48,440
Mel:
There's a paragraph break and then the next action line.

1028
01:10:48,440 --> 01:10:53,300
Chas:
They all stand in horrified silence becca still holding her hands against her

1029
01:10:53,300 --> 01:11:00,360
Chas:
face there are faint and loud stomach churning sounds now i love there are faint

1030
01:11:00,360 --> 01:11:04,400
Chas:
and in brackets and loud so like contradictory well.

1031
01:11:04,400 --> 01:11:07,240
Mel:
I got annoyed at first because the contradictory but i think what they're saying

1032
01:11:07,240 --> 01:11:11,560
Mel:
is that like one or two of their stomachs are faint and then some of their stomachs are loud you.

1033
01:11:11,560 --> 01:11:11,940
Chas:
Know and.

1034
01:11:11,940 --> 01:11:14,940
Mel:
It does make you stop and go oh yeah no okay that makes sense.

1035
01:11:14,940 --> 01:11:21,080
Chas:
And the the churning is in all caps so that one word like they are escalating

1036
01:11:21,080 --> 01:11:24,000
Chas:
their their use of the big print here and.

1037
01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:29,820
Mel:
Here's where we've had a lot more dialogue before but then we're getting more

1038
01:11:29,820 --> 01:11:32,720
Mel:
and more big print because it's starting to be action like people are still

1039
01:11:32,720 --> 01:11:36,780
Mel:
saying things for sure and there's a couple of places particularly when it cuts

1040
01:11:36,780 --> 01:11:41,620
Mel:
back to helen and annie um facing off they're having this dialogue.

1041
01:11:42,440 --> 01:11:47,400
Excerpts:
You don't look very well, Annie. I feel fine.

1042
01:11:47,840 --> 01:11:54,720
Excerpts:
Are you sure? It wasn't that gray kind of lamb, or you ate a lot of that weird chicken. Was it that?

1043
01:11:55,560 --> 01:11:57,120
Excerpts:
No. I'm...

1044
01:11:58,090 --> 01:11:59,190
Excerpts:
I feel fine.

1045
01:11:59,510 --> 01:12:05,570
Mel:
But then most of the rest of the characters are now just in panic mode.

1046
01:12:05,730 --> 01:12:09,790
Mel:
And so it's a lot of action and then a lot of yelling.

1047
01:12:10,970 --> 01:12:16,370
Excerpts:
The knees are toilets! The knees are toilets! The knees are toilets!

1048
01:12:19,570 --> 01:12:25,270
Excerpts:
No. No, Megan. No! No! Look away! Megan, no! Look away!

1049
01:12:28,710 --> 01:12:32,910
Mel:
It's mostly action and interjections now.

1050
01:12:33,470 --> 01:12:43,270
Mel:
Blocks of text are picking up a little bit because the dialogue is either lessened or quite terse.

1051
01:12:43,510 --> 01:12:47,830
Chas:
Feel free to read some out. I'm just delighting in this. But then this podcast

1052
01:12:47,830 --> 01:12:51,430
Chas:
will be mostly my voice, which is what no one wants.

1053
01:12:51,650 --> 01:12:56,850
Mel:
I think I did more of the, you know, the old fuddy-duddy black and white.

1054
01:12:57,490 --> 01:13:04,250
Chas:
So what we then get is three of the bridesmaids end up in the very small bathroom.

1055
01:13:04,250 --> 01:13:07,990
Mel:
With just one toilet and one sink there's a phenomenal top-down

1056
01:13:07,990 --> 01:13:10,670
Mel:
shot okay that it's not in the

1057
01:13:10,670 --> 01:13:14,070
Mel:
script but obviously it the actions

1058
01:13:14,070 --> 01:13:17,110
Mel:
are all again the writers have set up the actions are all happening

1059
01:13:17,110 --> 01:13:20,290
Mel:
it doesn't say there's a top-down shot but when you've set this up and you get

1060
01:13:20,290 --> 01:13:23,810
Mel:
this location and then all of a sudden just real quick before it breaks out

1061
01:13:23,810 --> 01:13:26,950
Mel:
to go back to the other room where helen and annie are There's just this like

1062
01:13:26,950 --> 01:13:32,590
Mel:
two second top down shot of the absolute chaos that the last two pages have

1063
01:13:32,590 --> 01:13:34,850
Mel:
spent all this time laying out.

1064
01:13:35,050 --> 01:13:37,550
Mel:
And you can see the wreckage. It's great.

1065
01:13:38,330 --> 01:13:43,370
Chas:
And then just to set up like the structure of what happens here is that we've

1066
01:13:43,370 --> 01:13:45,390
Chas:
got the bridesmaids in the bathroom.

1067
01:13:45,890 --> 01:13:50,050
Chas:
We've got Annie and Helen with Annie still pretending that she's not sick.

1068
01:13:50,150 --> 01:13:55,010
Chas:
And that's more dialogue character driven. Although I would say when we get

1069
01:13:55,010 --> 01:13:59,770
Chas:
to it, I think Kristen Wiig's performance of eating that almond is...

1070
01:14:00,260 --> 01:14:01,300
Chas:
Incredible and.

1071
01:14:01,300 --> 01:14:04,220
Mel:
It's got like four lines four action

1072
01:14:04,220 --> 01:14:07,260
Mel:
lines it really dwells on her

1073
01:14:07,260 --> 01:14:12,000
Mel:
agonizing about the fact that she has to take this home and and she has to put

1074
01:14:12,000 --> 01:14:17,300
Mel:
it in her mouth and she has to chew it she forces it down and swallows the almonds

1075
01:14:17,300 --> 01:14:24,880
Mel:
down with a slow gulp like it's it's dwelling on the misery that this is causing.

1076
01:14:24,880 --> 01:14:25,900
Chas:
Her yeah you.

1077
01:14:25,900 --> 01:14:31,740
Mel:
Know not just annie grudgingly takes it like it it it draws it out for you.

1078
01:14:31,740 --> 01:14:35,060
Chas:
Yeah and then finally uh lillian

1079
01:14:35,060 --> 01:14:38,060
Chas:
the bride is the uh the cap

1080
01:14:38,060 --> 01:14:41,020
Chas:
on the scene as there's nowhere to go so she goes to

1081
01:14:41,020 --> 01:14:44,960
Chas:
try and use the bathroom in the convenience store across the street and ends

1082
01:14:44,960 --> 01:14:50,460
Chas:
up lowering herself and shitting herself in the middle of the street in a gorgeous

1083
01:14:50,460 --> 01:14:55,240
Chas:
very expensive wedding dress now that's me like jumping to the end but summarizing

1084
01:14:55,240 --> 01:14:58,220
Chas:
the structure of the scene but then the reason i'm doing that is then we can

1085
01:14:58,220 --> 01:15:00,620
Chas:
dwell like that structuring,

1086
01:15:01,180 --> 01:15:04,120
Chas:
is important because then we can identify what they're doing

1087
01:15:04,120 --> 01:15:09,500
Chas:
in the action lines so i really like again one of the things that i'm taking

1088
01:15:09,500 --> 01:15:15,300
Chas:
away from this is in comedy feel free to spend some time in setup because all

1089
01:15:15,300 --> 01:15:20,200
Chas:
these all these writers are doing that so the bath the single toilet bathroom

1090
01:15:20,200 --> 01:15:22,700
Chas:
is as pristine, pristine in caps,

1091
01:15:23,100 --> 01:15:26,020
Chas:
and white in caps as the fitting area.

1092
01:15:26,260 --> 01:15:32,020
Chas:
Everything is just right, calm and quiet. Classical music plays softly.

1093
01:15:32,660 --> 01:15:36,260
Chas:
BAM! Exclamation mark. All caps.

1094
01:15:36,460 --> 01:15:41,140
Chas:
The door bursts open as Rita runs in. She projectile vomits into the toilet.

1095
01:15:41,760 --> 01:15:46,320
Chas:
Ellipsis. But the seat is down. Everything sprays onto the back wall.

1096
01:15:46,760 --> 01:15:51,060
Chas:
So that ellipsis creates the joke. The visual joke.

1097
01:15:51,140 --> 01:15:55,820
Chas:
Like obviously when we're seeing that, we are seeing all that happen in one action and it's funny.

1098
01:15:55,960 --> 01:15:59,640
Chas:
But what makes it funny on the page is the ellipsis. the fact that they said

1099
01:15:59,640 --> 01:16:04,140
Chas:
into the toilet and not onto the toilet like they've deliberately.

1100
01:16:04,140 --> 01:16:06,840
Mel:
They don't tip their hand yeah they've done.

1101
01:16:06,840 --> 01:16:12,280
Chas:
It they've done a reveal on the page structuring a joke that isn't uh on screen.

1102
01:16:12,280 --> 01:16:15,900
Mel:
But it takes you a beat to realize what's happening on screen too right but

1103
01:16:15,900 --> 01:16:20,580
Mel:
yeah it's it's giving the reader the experience of this is funny with and then

1104
01:16:20,580 --> 01:16:24,320
Mel:
that not being the technical.

1105
01:16:24,560 --> 01:16:28,000
Mel:
She opens the stall door. The seat is down.

1106
01:16:28,160 --> 01:16:32,600
Mel:
She doesn't have time to open it. Like that's technical, but it's not funny. This is funny.

1107
01:16:32,940 --> 01:16:38,680
Chas:
Yeah. Uh, Rita slams the top open and heaves again into the bowl as Megan runs

1108
01:16:38,680 --> 01:16:39,860
Chas:
in holding her backside.

1109
01:16:40,640 --> 01:16:45,540
Chas:
Rita ignores her as her head is in it and she grips the sides, barfing.

1110
01:16:45,800 --> 01:16:50,480
Chas:
In desperation, Megan hikes up her dress, hops onto the counter and sits in

1111
01:16:50,480 --> 01:16:58,840
Chas:
the sink and sits is in caps and the sink is in caps so they are now like doing highlights.

1112
01:16:58,840 --> 01:17:01,700
Mel:
She sits in the sink yeah.

1113
01:17:01,700 --> 01:17:06,960
Chas:
So yeah we cut back to helen and annie having their um i think it literally

1114
01:17:06,960 --> 01:17:10,220
Chas:
says face off yeah helen and annie are faced off annie is sweating.

1115
01:17:10,220 --> 01:17:14,360
Mel:
Profusely and the juxtaposition of you have these two women in these very compromising

1116
01:17:14,360 --> 01:17:17,980
Mel:
positions yelling at each other and then suddenly you cut into the room and

1117
01:17:17,980 --> 01:17:20,920
Mel:
you have two people completely silent just staring at each other and all they're

1118
01:17:20,920 --> 01:17:27,060
Mel:
doing is quote sweating profusely like you get that that big shift you know

1119
01:17:27,060 --> 01:17:28,480
Mel:
right there which is really great.

1120
01:17:32,200 --> 01:17:37,080
Excerpts:
You don't look very well Annie I feel fine.

1121
01:17:37,990 --> 01:17:41,970
Chas:
Now, I've seen this film a number of times, but I can't remember where the top-down

1122
01:17:41,970 --> 01:17:44,190
Chas:
shot is. It is that break. It is?

1123
01:17:44,250 --> 01:17:48,930
Mel:
It is this break. Okay. Yeah, so Rita and Megan go back and forth for a few

1124
01:17:48,930 --> 01:17:52,350
Mel:
more seconds, just still yelling, no, no, look away, look away, ah!

1125
01:17:52,690 --> 01:17:57,190
Mel:
And then you get this top-down shot, and it's like, again, just you realize

1126
01:17:57,190 --> 01:18:04,190
Mel:
the actual destruction that they have wrought, and then it cuts back to Helen and Annie sweating.

1127
01:18:04,190 --> 01:18:09,310
Chas:
So, Becca joins Megan and Rita in the bathroom.

1128
01:18:09,530 --> 01:18:13,650
Chas:
Becca runs in blindly over the toilet that Rita is still barfing in.

1129
01:18:14,030 --> 01:18:19,130
Chas:
Vomit rains down on the back of Rita's head. I did enjoy that because they haven't

1130
01:18:19,130 --> 01:18:20,930
Chas:
had to say it's Becca's vomit.

1131
01:18:21,150 --> 01:18:26,350
Chas:
They very carefully painted the shot. They've chosen the frame with those words.

1132
01:18:26,350 --> 01:18:27,510
Mel:
Right i know.

1133
01:18:27,510 --> 01:18:32,530
Chas:
From those words that becca is not in the in that shot as it's written on the

1134
01:18:32,530 --> 01:18:36,170
Chas:
page i can't remember how they actually shot it but what they've written on

1135
01:18:36,170 --> 01:18:37,910
Chas:
the page for me is visualizing,

1136
01:18:38,710 --> 01:18:43,370
Chas:
becca not being in that shot it's about the vomit raining down on the back of

1137
01:18:43,370 --> 01:18:46,510
Chas:
rita's head while she herself is vomiting.

1138
01:18:46,510 --> 01:18:50,070
Mel:
Um and this is actually where uh they

1139
01:18:50,070 --> 01:18:53,010
Mel:
the content is all the same but the order starts

1140
01:18:53,010 --> 01:18:56,650
Mel:
changing and edit they give you a bit more time with

1141
01:18:56,650 --> 01:18:59,570
Mel:
annie and helen um some of their content

1142
01:18:59,570 --> 01:19:03,330
Mel:
that's down on the other page and so instead of cutting back and forth quite

1143
01:19:03,330 --> 01:19:08,050
Mel:
so much in between vomit sweating vomit front like they give and i think it's

1144
01:19:08,050 --> 01:19:12,230
Mel:
mostly to give the weight of the scene between annie and helen because they

1145
01:19:12,230 --> 01:19:14,350
Mel:
really start having a little more

1146
01:19:14,350 --> 01:19:18,850
Mel:
of a of a realization you know of what's really happening so again like,

1147
01:19:19,630 --> 01:19:22,530
Mel:
everything's the same but the flow of things which is

1148
01:19:22,530 --> 01:19:26,010
Mel:
funny on the page and really works like you can tell what they're doing and

1149
01:19:26,010 --> 01:19:29,170
Mel:
that thing where you just talked about uh right before becca runs in

1150
01:19:29,170 --> 01:19:34,190
Mel:
annie's line is i don't have to throw up interior bathroom becca runs in and

1151
01:19:34,190 --> 01:19:39,470
Mel:
blindly throws up like that's funny on the page yeah but the sacrifice clearly

1152
01:19:39,470 --> 01:19:43,630
Mel:
became oh you know the actors were really having this moment and and it they

1153
01:19:43,630 --> 01:19:46,990
Mel:
wanted you know the flow to go a little bit differently so So,

1154
01:19:47,130 --> 01:19:51,550
Mel:
honestly, if I'm writing this and planning on directing this,

1155
01:19:51,610 --> 01:19:54,370
Mel:
I go, this is a funny transition.

1156
01:19:54,910 --> 01:19:58,490
Mel:
Well, like in the edit, if it doesn't go exactly this way, it doesn't matter.

1157
01:19:58,650 --> 01:20:02,870
Mel:
On the page, this is funny. That's what I'm trying to do to sell the thing. So, that stays.

1158
01:20:03,530 --> 01:20:11,230
Chas:
Yeah. And, I mean, we've got the, we finally get the only, we're back with Helen and Annie.

1159
01:20:11,230 --> 01:20:15,850
Chas:
And there's one more cut back into the bathroom and there's no big print at

1160
01:20:15,850 --> 01:20:19,030
Chas:
all on the script. So, we're on page 44 and it's.

1161
01:20:19,540 --> 01:20:25,520
Excerpts:
What did we eat? Sinks are gone. What are you doing? It's coming out of me like lava.

1162
01:20:27,440 --> 01:20:29,140
Excerpts:
Don't fucking look at me.

1163
01:20:31,020 --> 01:20:35,680
Chas:
This is the point where I'm like, they've done so much setup that they can create

1164
01:20:35,680 --> 01:20:38,620
Chas:
the visual through the dialogue.

1165
01:20:38,840 --> 01:20:42,200
Mel:
I think the reason, I think also the reason they have the, even though Megan

1166
01:20:42,200 --> 01:20:45,280
Mel:
has said a line, there are other people in the room and we know that.

1167
01:20:45,280 --> 01:20:49,700
Mel:
So saying becca noticing her on the sink is like is just making clear to us

1168
01:20:49,700 --> 01:20:53,300
Mel:
because we've done all the setup that it's not rita that she's noticing it's

1169
01:20:53,300 --> 01:20:57,240
Mel:
not like this is the specific thing she's noticing yeah because again we've

1170
01:20:57,240 --> 01:21:01,320
Mel:
seen so much happen in this bathroom in the last 30 seconds yeah.

1171
01:21:01,320 --> 01:21:08,020
Chas:
I mean if if i if it hasn't been clear over the the life of this podcast i have

1172
01:21:08,020 --> 01:21:13,440
Chas:
a very puerile sense of humor this scene is like custom made for me and i'm

1173
01:21:13,440 --> 01:21:17,500
Chas:
impressed like if i was writing this i would be like a child i would be doing

1174
01:21:17,500 --> 01:21:20,680
Chas:
all of the sound effects um and.

1175
01:21:20,680 --> 01:21:23,660
Mel:
I a few years ago i was at a

1176
01:21:23,660 --> 01:21:26,500
Mel:
um some gay event night you

1177
01:21:26,500 --> 01:21:29,480
Mel:
know and it's like friday night slash saturday morning

1178
01:21:29,480 --> 01:21:33,560
Mel:
at 1 a.m and you've been drinking you and the bar had

1179
01:21:33,560 --> 01:21:36,420
Mel:
bridesmaids on playing over the bar

1180
01:21:36,420 --> 01:21:39,320
Mel:
and i just like i'd been dancing and i wanted

1181
01:21:39,320 --> 01:21:42,100
Mel:
a minute so i went and kind of like was leaning against the bar just

1182
01:21:42,100 --> 01:21:45,240
Mel:
to have a breather and bridesmaids was on my friend came over and we it because

1183
01:21:45,240 --> 01:21:48,380
Mel:
it was on silence we were watching and we were making

1184
01:21:48,380 --> 01:21:51,240
Mel:
at some point this scene came on and we did the sound effects

1185
01:21:51,240 --> 01:21:53,980
Mel:
i'm sure it probably wasn't as funny as we thought we were but

1186
01:21:53,980 --> 01:21:57,040
Mel:
it's so great because you can watch this scene even

1187
01:21:57,040 --> 01:22:02,020
Mel:
this even the conversations right between helen and any even all of those but

1188
01:22:02,020 --> 01:22:06,280
Mel:
you don't need to know what they're saying everything that is in those action

1189
01:22:06,280 --> 01:22:11,240
Mel:
lines reads and we just sat there for like 20 minutes just watching them interact

1190
01:22:11,240 --> 01:22:16,580
Mel:
and watching the physical comedy and yeah making the noises yeah.

1191
01:22:16,580 --> 01:22:20,140
Chas:
And so this this sequence culminates

1192
01:22:20,140 --> 01:22:22,880
Chas:
as you've already described you've got the wonderful taking the time

1193
01:22:22,880 --> 01:22:28,440
Chas:
with the big print of annie chewing on that almond now the one difference that

1194
01:22:28,440 --> 01:22:33,840
Chas:
they've made that i remember from the from the screen is on the page it says

1195
01:22:33,840 --> 01:22:40,820
Chas:
annie takes a handful and painfully puts them in her mouth my memory from on screen is it's one.

1196
01:22:40,820 --> 01:22:43,680
Mel:
I think she might i think she might take some and

1197
01:22:43,680 --> 01:22:46,620
Mel:
then just pick the one and put it in her mouth

1198
01:22:46,620 --> 01:22:52,400
Mel:
you know um yeah where it's like oh i can do i can't there's no way i can do

1199
01:22:52,400 --> 01:22:57,780
Mel:
one and then that's it and also i just i love the touch that they're jordan

1200
01:22:57,780 --> 01:23:05,120
Mel:
almonds which is exactly what you would have in that kind of bridal dress places so.

1201
01:23:05,120 --> 01:23:11,540
Chas:
I look i figure we should do the the culmination which is um the exterior belle en blanc uh.

1202
01:23:11,540 --> 01:23:12,500
Mel:
The description.

1203
01:23:12,500 --> 01:23:19,160
Chas:
Of of lillian who's turned and bolted away from within the dress shop and annie's running after her.

1204
01:23:19,730 --> 01:23:21,470
Excerpts:
Annie, everybody's really sick from that restaurant.

1205
01:23:23,650 --> 01:23:27,750
Excerpts:
But it wasn't the restaurant. Oh, no, no, no. Lillian, where are you going? I need a bathroom.

1206
01:23:28,190 --> 01:23:32,090
Chas:
Lillian bursts out of the building and runs across the street towards a 7-Eleven.

1207
01:23:32,310 --> 01:23:35,690
Chas:
Cars screech to a halt to avoid the fleeing bride.

1208
01:23:37,010 --> 01:23:40,910
Excerpts:
Help! Oh, no. Oh, no. Where are you going? Come back. Where are you going?

1209
01:23:41,070 --> 01:23:42,550
Excerpts:
Help, be careful. What are you doing?

1210
01:23:43,910 --> 01:23:47,310
Excerpts:
It's happening. Help! It's happening. It's happening. It's happening.

1211
01:23:47,910 --> 01:23:53,250
Chas:
Annie runs out and watches in horror. Suddenly, Lillian stops running and slowly

1212
01:23:53,250 --> 01:23:57,210
Chas:
sinks down onto the ground, embarrassed and unable to move.

1213
01:23:57,350 --> 01:24:02,030
Chas:
So again, they're doing the what you can see and then comma and then the second

1214
01:24:02,030 --> 01:24:05,330
Chas:
clause giving it humor, character.

1215
01:24:06,270 --> 01:24:13,210
Chas:
She throws a helpless look back at Annie. In the doorway, Whitney and Annie watch it all in horror.

1216
01:24:13,210 --> 01:24:19,670
Mel:
And if you watch it, even the fact that the way that she slowly sinks onto the

1217
01:24:19,670 --> 01:24:20,250
Mel:
ground is exactly what happens.

1218
01:24:20,250 --> 01:24:22,010
Chas:
That bit of performance is incredible.

1219
01:24:22,210 --> 01:24:26,530
Mel:
She almost does the elevator behind the couch, you know, for a kid.

1220
01:24:26,690 --> 01:24:29,890
Mel:
It's just, it's a perfect bit of performance, but it is there in the action

1221
01:24:29,890 --> 01:24:32,210
Mel:
line. She stops running and slowly sinks.

1222
01:24:32,490 --> 01:24:36,970
Mel:
Although she kind of, she doesn't just stop and sink. She like goes into slow

1223
01:24:36,970 --> 01:24:40,290
Mel:
motion as she sinks into the ground.

1224
01:24:40,290 --> 01:24:46,070
Chas:
Well, I mean, what I love about, like, I can see it because Maya Rudolph's performance is so amazing.

1225
01:24:46,750 --> 01:24:51,830
Chas:
She captures perfectly the look of someone who does not want to sink to the

1226
01:24:51,830 --> 01:24:54,490
Chas:
ground, but their body is betraying them.

1227
01:24:54,650 --> 01:25:00,050
Chas:
So it's like, I want to keep walking and I am getting closer and closer to the ground.

1228
01:25:01,110 --> 01:25:09,030
Mel:
I definitely look. There's a street in Atlanta where I did this once.

1229
01:25:10,890 --> 01:25:17,550
Mel:
More successfully, I will say, but I literally was, and I could not move for

1230
01:25:17,550 --> 01:25:20,670
Mel:
about five minutes, and watching this back, and even just reading it,

1231
01:25:20,850 --> 01:25:21,970
Mel:
you're like, yeah, this is...

1232
01:25:23,400 --> 01:25:27,200
Mel:
Embarrassed and unable to move helpless

1233
01:25:27,200 --> 01:25:32,900
Mel:
like the lines are really great it just gives you that sense of everything and

1234
01:25:32,900 --> 01:25:39,560
Mel:
even the the cars screech to a halt we that's that's in the movie like they've

1235
01:25:39,560 --> 01:25:44,980
Mel:
written something that's so evocative um you know it's it's all there i.

1236
01:25:44,980 --> 01:25:50,460
Chas:
Mean i did i did go back to the the very beginning scene the description of

1237
01:25:50,460 --> 01:25:58,100
Chas:
annie mimicking uh john hams like putting his penis in her face is not in the big print and.

1238
01:25:58,100 --> 01:25:59,520
Mel:
Then when she imitates the.

1239
01:25:59,520 --> 01:26:01,820
Chas:
Penis it just says annie imitates a penis.

1240
01:26:01,820 --> 01:26:05,340
Mel:
Aha so that's yeah hey which also

1241
01:26:05,340 --> 01:26:08,160
Mel:
if christian wig wrote this like presumably she's like yeah no i

1242
01:26:08,160 --> 01:26:10,920
Mel:
don't know what i got this yeah all right i i

1243
01:26:10,920 --> 01:26:13,880
Mel:
i've i've had this one boyfriend in mind i've done this

1244
01:26:13,880 --> 01:26:16,700
Mel:
before yeah this is this is what i'll do that's fine

1245
01:26:16,700 --> 01:26:19,420
Mel:
um i will say one other thing that i did find

1246
01:26:19,420 --> 01:26:22,240
Mel:
interesting real quick at the very end of the line it does

1247
01:26:22,240 --> 01:26:25,340
Mel:
the thing that happy endings does okay where helen has

1248
01:26:25,340 --> 01:26:30,400
Mel:
come out and goes um and in parentheticals re the expensive dress we'll just

1249
01:26:30,400 --> 01:26:34,760
Mel:
take five with the bernese it doesn't have to do that just like brad's line

1250
01:26:34,760 --> 01:26:38,280
Mel:
and happy endings didn't have to do that it just helps give a little bit of

1251
01:26:38,280 --> 01:26:41,180
Mel:
context because it could it could be referring to a couple other things and

1252
01:26:41,180 --> 01:26:45,180
Mel:
And it's reminding you of, you know, what's happening.

1253
01:26:46,120 --> 01:26:51,520
Mel:
And the bigger context, you know, we haven't seen Whitney for a few minutes

1254
01:26:51,520 --> 01:26:52,680
Mel:
until she was running out, etc.

1255
01:26:53,320 --> 01:26:57,400
Mel:
Again, it's something that you probably could delete. But it is interesting

1256
01:26:57,400 --> 01:27:00,680
Mel:
that when you've got so much other action going that these scenes do go.

1257
01:27:00,800 --> 01:27:04,880
Mel:
We need a few more parentheticals than we would normally use to remind you of, you know, everything.

1258
01:27:05,200 --> 01:27:08,100
Chas:
Yeah, because the line, we'll just take five of the Fritz Bernays,

1259
01:27:08,280 --> 01:27:12,440
Chas:
Whitney, thank you. it's clearly that's about the expensive dress like it's

1260
01:27:12,440 --> 01:27:13,980
Chas:
not about anything else but they just,

1261
01:27:14,590 --> 01:27:20,290
Chas:
decided to orient you that Helen is deliberately not talking about anything

1262
01:27:20,290 --> 01:27:23,330
Chas:
of the incredible things that have just happened.

1263
01:27:23,550 --> 01:27:28,770
Mel:
This isn't a joke. This is her actively avoiding everything that is right in

1264
01:27:28,770 --> 01:27:29,930
Mel:
front of her. Yeah, exactly.

1265
01:27:30,390 --> 01:27:37,090
Chas:
Cool. So, Mel, what did you learn from this exercise? What are you taking away for you for your pages?

1266
01:27:37,210 --> 01:27:39,790
Chas:
Because you're writing two comedies at the moment.

1267
01:27:40,310 --> 01:27:44,370
Mel:
Well, I'm writing one comedy and one, I'm calling it a tromedy.

1268
01:27:44,370 --> 01:27:46,510
Chas:
I mean, I laughed a lot in your tromedy.

1269
01:27:46,830 --> 01:27:50,990
Mel:
What? Most people do when they hear about my trauma jazz.

1270
01:27:51,910 --> 01:27:54,770
Chas:
I mean, we're talking about, I'm talking about mothering.

1271
01:27:55,010 --> 01:27:58,690
Mel:
Mothering is the tromedy, yeah, that is the tromedy. And then one rom-com.

1272
01:27:58,790 --> 01:28:03,110
Mel:
And I think that the thing with the tromedy is there's a lot of different genres in it.

1273
01:28:03,230 --> 01:28:07,050
Mel:
And that is why we're doing the tonal shift with everything everywhere at once

1274
01:28:07,050 --> 01:28:08,190
Mel:
and a few other things coming up.

1275
01:28:08,310 --> 01:28:10,650
Mel:
Because, yes, there's a bit of comedy, there's a lot of slapstick,

1276
01:28:10,750 --> 01:28:14,590
Mel:
but there's a lot of tonal shifts in different genres. Whereas at one point,

1277
01:28:14,630 --> 01:28:18,390
Mel:
there's a scene that's breaking out, and it's this little almost sci-fi Doctor

1278
01:28:18,390 --> 01:28:21,450
Mel:
Who type scene for about two pages.

1279
01:28:23,430 --> 01:28:27,430
Mel:
Whereas My Current Husband, which is the comedy of Remarriage,

1280
01:28:27,490 --> 01:28:31,310
Mel:
it is a rom-com, and there's a lot of slapstick.

1281
01:28:31,530 --> 01:28:35,070
Mel:
It's very much a screwball. So there's a lot of very quick dialogue,

1282
01:28:35,090 --> 01:28:36,710
Mel:
but there's a lot of comedy.

1283
01:28:36,710 --> 01:28:42,510
Mel:
And we're using, you know, different things within the scene,

1284
01:28:42,750 --> 01:28:47,290
Mel:
different physical skills that, you know, the characters would have and et cetera.

1285
01:28:47,610 --> 01:28:51,490
Mel:
And so looking at this, I would say the first thing, like what you said from

1286
01:28:51,490 --> 01:28:55,770
Mel:
Happy Endings, is sometimes a lot of table setting earlier is better than,

1287
01:28:55,790 --> 01:28:58,390
Mel:
you know, three or four stops for table setting throughout.

1288
01:28:58,390 --> 01:29:02,630
Mel:
And so going back and looking at one scene in particular that maybe,

1289
01:29:02,790 --> 01:29:07,050
Mel:
oh, I do take a couple of these chunks and just combine them at the top is pretty good.

1290
01:29:07,250 --> 01:29:11,390
Mel:
I think I really enjoyed that, which is not something that I've done.

1291
01:29:11,390 --> 01:29:14,570
Mel:
And I don't know that I need to do it. But I think that

1292
01:29:14,570 --> 01:29:21,630
Mel:
considering the when certain visual gags should be directed a little bit more

1293
01:29:21,630 --> 01:29:29,750
Mel:
on the page and whether I do that like as explicitly as bringing up baby or

1294
01:29:29,750 --> 01:29:32,930
Mel:
where I use the characters looks to direct it,

1295
01:29:33,050 --> 01:29:36,830
Mel:
which is what Happy Endings does, or whether I do, you know,

1296
01:29:37,210 --> 01:29:42,310
Mel:
like you were talking about the scene when she bursts into the stall.

1297
01:29:42,310 --> 01:29:43,830
Mel:
And then we don't.

1298
01:29:44,300 --> 01:29:47,540
Mel:
She's just throwing up on the back of her head and we it tells

1299
01:29:47,540 --> 01:29:50,700
Mel:
you exactly what that shot would be seeing you know

1300
01:29:50,700 --> 01:29:54,120
Mel:
any of those techniques might work but I think um yeah which

1301
01:29:54,120 --> 01:29:57,260
Mel:
of those is best for the particular scene that

1302
01:29:57,260 --> 01:30:02,080
Mel:
I'm in so those are probably my two biggest takeaways I really did enjoy seeing

1303
01:30:02,080 --> 01:30:07,280
Mel:
some of the techniques that I've been using in terms of both like there's a

1304
01:30:07,280 --> 01:30:11,640
Mel:
like blam you know there's sound effects and and a few things at very key moments

1305
01:30:11,640 --> 01:30:14,380
Mel:
but also when they use caps versus when they don't.

1306
01:30:14,480 --> 01:30:17,900
Mel:
And I need to be a bit more judicious about my parentheticals,

1307
01:30:17,980 --> 01:30:22,940
Mel:
especially, but seeing all of them do it, I'm like, okay, you know, I can scale it back.

1308
01:30:23,060 --> 01:30:27,840
Mel:
But if anyone tells me to take them all out, I'll be firmly, I have, I have proof.

1309
01:30:28,140 --> 01:30:32,280
Mel:
I'll pull out my, you know, my giant stack of papers and point at my proof.

1310
01:30:32,500 --> 01:30:39,140
Chas:
Yeah. I mean, I was so impressed that Bridesmaids, it ended up doing the blam and the,

1311
01:30:39,140 --> 01:30:44,240
Chas:
and the caps and stuff like that but that first paragraph where megan throws

1312
01:30:44,240 --> 01:30:49,360
Chas:
up into her mouth how they did none of that they just used an interruption to

1313
01:30:49,360 --> 01:30:55,460
Chas:
make you start reading the paragraph and then really took their time with that that paragraph it's.

1314
01:30:55,460 --> 01:30:58,160
Mel:
A great takeaway um especially because in a screwball there are a

1315
01:30:58,160 --> 01:31:02,380
Mel:
lot of interruptions but it's usually dialogue that's interrupting and you're

1316
01:31:02,380 --> 01:31:06,140
Mel:
right when it's this longer action line suddenly interrupting it does make you

1317
01:31:06,140 --> 01:31:11,140
Mel:
take notice of oh even though it's subtle they're not giant you know blocks

1318
01:31:11,140 --> 01:31:15,240
Mel:
of exclamation points it's saying this is really uh key uh something's about

1319
01:31:15,240 --> 01:31:17,980
Mel:
to happen i really like that that note.

1320
01:31:17,980 --> 01:31:23,280
Chas:
And i i love the the same observation that you've made about taking the time

1321
01:31:23,280 --> 01:31:28,140
Chas:
to set up physical humor one of the things that i think it's important to set

1322
01:31:28,140 --> 01:31:32,840
Chas:
up is geography of the space especially as they're moving around because all

1323
01:31:32,840 --> 01:31:35,400
Chas:
three of these scenes did that very well.

1324
01:31:35,600 --> 01:31:38,400
Chas:
Bringing up Baby, obviously, you've got three different perspectives that creates

1325
01:31:38,400 --> 01:31:42,940
Chas:
the humor, the framing, but lots of geography and you're never lost in it.

1326
01:31:43,200 --> 01:31:45,900
Chas:
Happy Endings, the geography of the room and the gifts.

1327
01:31:46,340 --> 01:31:48,400
Chas:
And like you said, that they even...

1328
01:31:49,120 --> 01:31:51,980
Chas:
You feel like you can see everything. And yet at the end, they still managed

1329
01:31:51,980 --> 01:31:56,320
Chas:
to do a reveal without saying reveal the giant.

1330
01:31:56,320 --> 01:31:57,860
Mel:
FAO Schwartz chocolate figures.

1331
01:31:58,020 --> 01:31:58,200
Chas:
Yeah.

1332
01:31:58,860 --> 01:32:03,200
Mel:
Bridesmaids has different, different people and different combinations in different rooms.

1333
01:32:03,500 --> 01:32:03,680
Chas:
Yeah.

1334
01:32:03,860 --> 01:32:08,980
Mel:
And you know, you are pretty clear where you are at any given point because

1335
01:32:08,980 --> 01:32:11,100
Mel:
of who you're with and what they're doing.

1336
01:32:11,300 --> 01:32:16,420
Chas:
Yeah. And, and taking the time to set up the, whatever it is, is it the geography?

1337
01:32:16,560 --> 01:32:19,600
Chas:
Is it the running gag about the baby voice is it the the gifts

1338
01:32:19,600 --> 01:32:22,380
Chas:
you know but taking the time to set it up

1339
01:32:22,380 --> 01:32:25,600
Chas:
then actually allows you to use

1340
01:32:25,600 --> 01:32:32,720
Chas:
that those action lines either more for to to make gags or to direct you know

1341
01:32:32,720 --> 01:32:37,720
Chas:
you can you can spend that time picking the frame picking the perspective telling

1342
01:32:37,720 --> 01:32:43,140
Chas:
us the thing in in action that is going to make it funnier on screen or trying

1343
01:32:43,140 --> 01:32:44,740
Chas:
to recreate that experience on screen.

1344
01:32:45,100 --> 01:32:47,240
Chas:
Directing from the page, you might say.

1345
01:32:47,380 --> 01:32:50,300
Mel:
Yeah, with differing degrees of subtlety, they all direct from the page a bit.

1346
01:32:51,030 --> 01:32:56,750
Mel:
But as a director, when I read a script, I want to be seeing it in my head, you know?

1347
01:32:57,170 --> 01:33:04,150
Mel:
I don't, you know, something that doesn't evoke some sort of imagery in your

1348
01:33:04,150 --> 01:33:05,590
Mel:
head is probably not that interesting.

1349
01:33:07,090 --> 01:33:13,990
Chas:
Cool. Well, thank you for that. The thing that I'm writing next is not got any physical comedy.

1350
01:33:14,310 --> 01:33:18,270
Chas:
There is one character that I want to give a lot of dry wit to.

1351
01:33:18,270 --> 01:33:23,410
Chas:
So you know maybe as you continue to write your different comedies we can start

1352
01:33:23,410 --> 01:33:28,030
Chas:
doing more exploration into different aspects of comedy i.

1353
01:33:28,030 --> 01:33:34,050
Mel:
Will be making you watch a 40s comedy uh if we do one on on dry wet in comedy because.

1354
01:33:34,050 --> 01:33:43,370
Chas:
Look to be very clear i love cinema from all backgrounds times it's just as

1355
01:33:43,370 --> 01:33:46,570
Chas:
a screenwriter that i uh so.

1356
01:33:46,570 --> 01:33:47,670
Mel:
Much to learn.

1357
01:33:47,670 --> 01:33:49,230
Chas:
From all of the.

1358
01:33:49,230 --> 01:33:54,090
Mel:
Screenwriting i suppose yeah if you're talking wit and dialogue we can go there.

1359
01:33:55,010 --> 01:33:58,490
Chas:
Um as always draft zero is brought

1360
01:33:58,490 --> 01:34:01,330
Chas:
to you more often by our amazing patrons if

1361
01:34:01,330 --> 01:34:07,510
Chas:
you want more draft zero more often you can too join our patrons uh i feel like

1362
01:34:07,510 --> 01:34:11,850
Chas:
our most our best attended tier is the minimum tier where you get to choose

1363
01:34:11,850 --> 01:34:17,890
Chas:
and vote on homework uh so thank you patrons for doing So this time it's super

1364
01:34:17,890 --> 01:34:20,790
Chas:
thanks to our extra special patrons, Alexandra,

1365
01:34:21,330 --> 01:34:27,930
Chas:
Jenny, Jesse, Krob, Lily, Millay, Paolo, Randy, Sandra, Thies, Thomas.

1366
01:34:28,690 --> 01:34:34,010
Chas:
Thank you so much. And thank you, Mel, for making this happen, for doing the homework.

1367
01:34:34,210 --> 01:34:38,730
Chas:
You presented me with options and I'm like, I don't have time. Just choose.

1368
01:34:39,030 --> 01:34:43,030
Mel:
I sent you a whole email with like, here's eight scenes from these four different

1369
01:34:43,030 --> 01:34:46,470
Mel:
scripts. What do you want? And I get a text from Jess, pick one.

1370
01:34:46,570 --> 01:34:47,070
Chas:
Okay.

1371
01:34:52,190 --> 01:34:55,630
Chas:
So Mel also makes more Draft Zero happen more often.

1372
01:34:57,510 --> 01:35:01,470
Chas:
I hope you all feel like arguing with either Stu or myself. About anything on

1373
01:35:01,470 --> 01:35:03,050
Chas:
this episode or anything in general.

1374
01:35:03,210 --> 01:35:07,170
Chas:
And you can find many ways of getting in touch with us at our website.

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Chas:
At draft-zero.com.

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Chas:
At the website, you'll also find the show notes for this and all our other episodes.

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Chas:
As well as links to support us and spread the word for free via a rating and

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Chas:
review on Apple Podcasts. Very important for spreading the word.

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Chas:
Or if you think that what we do here is worth a dollar or preferably more than

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Chas:
a dollar, then you can also find links to our Patreon page to support us getting

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Chas:
these episodes to you quicker.

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Chas:
Thanks. And thanks for listening.