Where's the Lemonade?

We had to go to marriage counseling to resolve a problem that has bubbled up over time. In this episode, find out how we have used marriage counseling to strengthen our marriage and help us feel like we can tackle the problems thrown at us (with some help, of course).

Show Notes



We had to go to marriage counseling to resolve a problem that has bubbled up over time. In this episode find out how we have used marriage counseling to strengthen our marriage and help us feel like we can tackle the problems thrown at us (with some help of course).

Counseling in the Beginning

  • We started counseling the day we got engaged.
  • Our counselor taught us how to communicate and empathize with each other.
  • We spent time getting in the trenches with each other.
  • Learned to give each other the benefit of the doubt.
  • Periodically we go back to a counselor to get a refresh and help us work through problems.

Benefits of Counseling

  • Both parties get impartial advice
  • A safe environment for honesty
  • An opportunity to unburden resentment and frustration
  • A forum to rebuild trust
  • Creating an attachment bond

Effectiveness of Marriage Counseling
  • The motivation of both partners and time, play an important role in success.
  • Find a "good fit" counselor for you and your partner.
  • Don't wait too long to reach out for help. (average people wait 6 years to get advice)
  • Realize that there will be conflict at times (ups and downs).
  • 7 tips to deal with differences:
    • Create a relaxed atmosphere to spend time with your partner to talk
    • Don't give up personal goal or hobbies
    • Support one another's passions
    • Learn to resolve conflicts skillfully. Don't avoid conflict work through it.
    • Establish open-ended dialogue
    • Avoid the blame game
    • Be realistic about the timeline for change with a counselor.

Links

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What is Where's the Lemonade??

They say when life gives you lemons you should make lemonade. Making lemonade is not always easy or possible. For us, we found ourselves single in our 40's with kids at home and starting life over again. Luckily we found each other, online no doubt. When we began blending families, schedules, traditions, and laundry, we discovered lots of lemons. Our podcast is a reflection on how we get through the hard times and enjoy the good times on our new journey together, all with ten kids in tow. Sometimes when life gives you lemons, you make lemon squares. Lemonade might come later.