The Podcast on Haunted Hill will contain spoilers and swearing.
I am the devil and I am here to do the devil's work.
Please hold this. Michael.
Be one of us.
I didn't tell you my name. Hang up. I didn't tell him my name.
They're all a part of it. They're all a part.
Come, it is time to
keep your appointment.
Love is in the air everywhere
I. Look around love
is in the air every sight in every
sound.
Hello, sexy listeners, and welcome to
episode 30 of the podcast on Haunted Hill.
I'm your host, Mister Gav Chuck still, and I'm here with my
friend, co host and lover,
Dan Bone. Show us the bone.
It's done. Love bone here,
Dan. Trying to be sexy. It's not really working, is it? I was doing fine
until you just ruined it completely with nothing. Well, you carry on being sexy.
Hey, I'm just. No, I'm not going. How you doing?
Very well. It's good. Yeah.
Cool. This is one of your. Dan likes to always come up with
themed episodes. And this is our Valentine's episode.
So we thought, what's better than torture porn for Valentine's?
Special thread? Well, you know, it's got porn in the
genre name, hasn't it? So it's kind of sexy,
I suppose. It's very sexy. Certain special someone in
your life. Torture porn.
A genre which came out in the sort of the two thousands.
It sort of started and it sort of led the way for, first off,
2000 to. Well, the films are still sort
of going around, but they're not as. It's not as strong as genre now,
is it? But we're getting to that. We're getting to that. And we're going to
talk about saw and hostile.
We are indeed two of the ones that really kick started. But again,
we will get into that in a bit. What else?
We are also gonna. We've got fantastic little world of the
strange, haven't we? About a lovely couple. Oh,
they are beautiful. Lovely couple, aren't they? Valentine's Day.
Another one. So, you know, we're gonna keep the love going throughout this episode.
They go out for dinner, don't they? They do go out for dinner. Yeah,
they definitely do. Romantic evening out for a little bite of Gav.
We've had a question. Okay.
Yo. Yeah, we have, haven't we? Yeah.
Mister Dean Martin, wasn't it? Dean Martin, what great name. I think I told
him that over Facebook. It's just a great name. He's actually friends.
I saw with our friends in Ireland, Jeff and Rachel. So I
wonder if he is from Ireland also,
tell us this thing, because that means I'm going over to Ireland next month.
And that means I probably might even meet him for a drink if he sends
to Jeff and Rachel, because that's who we're staying with. There we go. Dean,
a listener, and he's a horror fan,
from what I can see from Facebook. And Dean's asked the question.
He's just seen the Purge three trailer. What do we
think of the trailer? What do we think of the Purge and where this franchise
might go? I've seen half of the trailer.
I didn't want to watch it all because I didn't really
want to spoil it because it was pretty much telling exactly what's going on story.
And I was like, I don't really need to know. I could watch the film.
I really like the first one of Ethan Hawke, actually. It's very
interesting film, really,
though, with the idea of the purge, you could actually go anywhere
with any number of people in any household, every year, and keep it
going as a franchise forever, really. You could even do,
like, found footage with someone with a GoPro going
out, say, right tonight I'm going to go out and kill people. You could really
go off in different. Directions, I feel, with the purge, I'm surprised I haven't.
They've done a found footage, but I guess it's working in a normal cinematic structure.
What did you think of the second. One that was the more.
It's not as memorable as the first one. I actually really
liked the second one. Weirdly, my girlfriend, who doesn't like horror, she really
wanted to watch the purge. So we watched it, and then when the
second one came out, she was, oh, can we watch that one, too? Fine.
We did. And I think we both actually preferred the second one a little bit,
just because it was more of a. An action.
Less horror, more action. Really reminded me of films like Judgment
Night or what, you know, movies where the whole city's against
you, like warriors and things like that. I quite enjoyed it. It was good.
It's an interesting franchise to see where it goes.
Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, that's what
I think about. I'm interested to see the new one. It's got one of the
guys from the fingers, the second one as one of the main
people in it. But I think it links in, doesn't it? Links in? No,
no, it looks good. But anyway, give us. Thanks for giving us a quick question.
That's our first question ever. Yeah. Thanks, Dean. I did expect anyone to do it.
I actually didn't even know that anyone listened to this show, tell you truth.
Well, it's just me and you, Gav. Let's be honest. I am Dean Martin.
Are you? I'm not really. No, I'm not really. He's a real person. He is
a real person. There's some weird thing you're about to go off on. You didn't
know where you're going when you started that, though, did you? Uh, not really.
I'm drunk on love. Oh, high on love.
High on love. Gav, seen that Simpsons episode where Homer
can't drink booze? They just tries loads of different things. Oh, no, you haven't seen
many. I hate this. I always pop up these Simpsons episodes. You know,
I've never really seen which Simpsons episodes I did. What you talking about
in that accent. I don't know why you do that. Accent whenever you tell it,
boss. From the Simpsons. Why do you always do that accent, though? I don't know.
What accent?
Because you're from Bristol. You don't sound like that. It's weird.
Stop it. I don't understand what's happening. Gavin.
Listeners, Gavin has gone mental. Yeah.
Anyway, so we've got a sexy Valentine's special this time, haven't we?
So what are you doing for Valentine's? You're a lover, aren't you?
I am a lover. Not a fighter. Not a fighter. But I
am just having a nice day in with Alice. Really? We're gonna do a big
roast, and then I'm taking her to a gig on Monday, the day after
Valentine's. Not anything really too special, just chilled,
really, you know? What about you? Nothing. Nothing. Keep keeping them,
the fire and the magic. Alive with the missus, are you? No,
we're not getting cards this year. We decided.
Is it difficult with three children?
Not really. And a dog as well? No, not really. It's just decided
not to bother this year. Should we not
do that? Yeah, let's not do it. All right, then.
That's the conversation. You're breaking up a little bit, I've got to say.
Can you talk again for me? Yes, of course. How do I. Lovely.
I know. Oh, you sound great. Anyway, let's go for a break and let's come
back and you're gonna open up your heart to us,
your loving heart. I'm gonna open up my veins, Caffyn. In a very torturously
pornographic way. Can't wait.
Spill my gut. You're gonna ejaculate
your brains all over the place.
Wow. Can't wait. Let's do this.
Let's take a short break. Looking for something different in
your podcast library? Then why not check out the podcast under the stairs?
I'm the host, Duncan McLeish, and joining me each week will be
a special guest as we examine some classic old school
horror favourites, as well as some modern classics.
That's not to say that we don't tackle some of the, let's say, more questionable
entries into the horror genre. And if all that wasn't enough,
we have a subset of shows called Baz v Horror, where our horror
novice, the Baz, tackles horror in all shapes and
forms to see who will come out victorious. So what are
you waiting for? The show can be filmed at podcast underthestairs,
dot WordPress.com, and on Stitcher and
iTunes. The podcast under the Stairs is a proud member of
Legion podcasts network. This is Duncan McLeish from under the stairs,
signing off. And we're back again. Sexy,
sexy times are ahead of us.
We are sexy, sexy men. Gavin, can you do a good Barry white impression?
Barry Wade.
You can go a lot lower than me. All right, cool. Show me, tell me,
tell me all about torture porn. Pornographic torture.
Yes, torture porn. Weird, weird name. And we'll get
into what it's called, what it is in a minute. But it's a weird genre
name. So it's originally, these films record splatter
films or gore films, and they are films that.
I am using Wikipedia here. I'm not just spouting this off the top of my
head. They are a sub genre of horror that focuses deliberately on
a graphic portrayal of gore or violence, or graphic violence
using special effects. They tend to display an overt interest
in the vulnerability of the human body and the theatricality
of its mutilation. And actually, the term splatter cinema
was made up by George A. Romero. I don't know if you've heard of him.
He did that. He made the phrase up to describe dawn of the Dead.
Although Dawn of the Dead is generally considered by critics to have higher aspirations,
such as social commentary, than to be just the simple splatter
movie. In recent years, the use of graphic violence in cinema
has been given the label torture porn, or it
was originally called gorno. I remember when people were saying gorno, which is
obviously across Gore and porno. That's almost as bad as the
puppet in Saw gone.
Yeah, yeah, gorno. I think that was the only film that I remember anyone
describing as Gorno. You've got films like Braindead
and to some extent, dawn of the Dead, which I've got over the top
gore, but they're more sort of splat stick, which is another subgenre,
which is like obviously slapstick, but with loads of blood and violence.
So it's an interesting one. Everybody's probably seen at
least one splatter movie or torture
porn movie. Some of the old ones, such as I spit
on your grave. What's the one that was banned
for years with the body on the stick? You know, I mean.
What? Salo? No. Cannibal Holocaust.
Oh, cannibal Holocaust. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. You could even say that that is like a
gore torture porn type film, but it's become. I think
we are still going to be talking about a Saul movie, but I think the
Saul series, I think there was about nine of them in the end. And the
hostel movies and a few of the other ones that have come out recently,
they're all kind of. They've already kicked out the arse, really, haven't they? And really
got everybody. Everybody now knows what that kind of type of horror
is. It really was taking over horror and I.
And, well, it was like the biggest genre in horror
for quite a while. In the two thousands. A lot of films are coming out
with just blood, violence and even remakes like Texas
Chainsaw Massacre featured a lot more gore than the original. Just trying
to cash in on this. This torture porn thing.
What do you think about torture porn, Gavin? Yeah,
not porn. Not porn. Torture porn.
Yeah, definitely the sub genre. Like now, I'd say it's kind of found
footage at the moment is the whole subgenre
now, which ten years ago it was probably.
Yeah, the torture pond, like you say. What do I think of it now?
When it first came out, it was just the movies we're gonna speak of.
And I'm quite a big fan of hostel, which you're gonna hear in a bit.
And I didn't mind it because I found. I feel with hostel there's a
slight bit of not class, but there's more higher production
somehow to it. There's something about it where towards
the middle and to the end of the whole sort of
ten year span cycle, we get with these sub genres of films that
it got like they
do, people start cashing in, so production values go lower and lower and
it became like some movies come out and you'd be like, well, I'm not really
interested. And I'm not a massive torture porn fan, to be honest.
It's. I'm massively into. But there
are a couple of great ones that stick out, aren't there? Yeah, totally there
is. Like. Yeah, like. Like you say you're gonna reel off
a little list of some of the films, aren't you? Yeah, we'll do that in
a minute. I think Asia do torture porn
really well. Yeah, I think, you know,
Japan and Korea, they've got some crazy,
gory films. One of my favorites is audition,
and I'd love us to. To do a review of that one day.
Audition's a crazy film, and. Yeah, I think that they do
it really well. I just think aside from a handful of
western films, american, english, maybe european films,
there aren't many great torture films. But the ones that are great are really great.
Yeah. Yeah. So,
yeah, we picked. We picked it just because it's torture porn, really,
for Valentine's Day. Hang on.
Why do we chose it? Because the word porn is in the. In the subgenre
episode. I don't watch. Have you ever watched porn on Valentine's
moves? Like, other half? No, not really.
You wouldn't think. Should we get a courier movie in? What, you want
to watch some porn? Netflix and chill?
Probably not. Haven't they? No, my house. It's probably softcore, but. No,
nothing. I don't know. No, I don't. I don't
think Alice would want to watch porn with me, and I certainly don't think she'd
want to watch torture porn with me. I think I described last
episode, I described a scenario where I was
more luck getting one of my testicles into my mouth than getting Alice to watch
Saul or hostel with me. I'm not sure which one
I'd want to see, but you trying to get a testicle in your mouth sounds
appealing in a way to watch, but not really because
it's your testicle. Do you know? I mean, it's got both
sides to that viewing. Yeah,
I wouldn't forget it. Torture porn. Yep.
And shall I whiz through this
list? Yeah. Can you do it with, like, is it. Where have you
taken this list from? Is. I just
thrown it. Okay. Is it in a particular order?
Like, are they saying no one's the. Number one torch porn
films that are actually worth watching is what they've said. Oh, well, okay, so we'll
go from 13 to one then. Yeah. Well, that's the order they're in.
Or then again, 13 is. Is our sort of spooky
number we like, don't we? Do. Because it's the horror community.
Gavin. It's not 13 then. It's six. Six. Six.
Gavin. Oh, my God. See, that voice has come out again. It's just slightly
different this time. Do that in a Bristol
accent. All right, my babbar,
how are you today? This is nowhere.
Now. Stop. What's number 13? Right, so number
13 on this list of torture porn films that are worth watching is the collector,
which I have seen a long time ago. It's pretty good film,
actually. Wasn't too bad. You've seen that? No. There's a part two, isn't it?
But I have upstairs on VHS a movie called the Collector. But it's like.
It's got pictures of butterflies on the front of it and it's from like the
sixties, I think. It's a different film. That's probably a different film.
Number twelve is a film that me and you have covered in our french episode
inside. Really? Why is that? Torture porn? Just because
it's got a lot of blood and guts and torture in it. See, this is
the thing. The two movies we're covering tonight have people
stuck in chairs, which is the idea of being tortured
and porn because people enjoy watching it. And it's gash gallons
and gallons of blood type thing. So I don't know.
Inside. I don't. Okay, all right, continue.
Frontiers. Okay,
so this is a new. The french new wave scene of the mid two thousands.
Okay. They got pretty gory for a while, France, didn't they? They did. I did.
I had. Frontiers is all right. It's good film. Dimension extreme.
Number ten on the list. Yep. The human centipede.
Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. It's gotta be a. It's definitely a
really talked about one. And very briefly, I watched the third one the other day.
An appalling film, but enjoyable. My sister said
she thought it tried too hard to be offensive. It was definitely fucking
offensive, but I quite enjoyed it.
And you know what those three films say, what you will about them,
they're gonna be films that are remembered for a very long time in horror
and just cinema generally. I think part three's
kind of been swept under the rug,
so to speak. Really. It's kind of. There's bits of, you know, because you see
stuff on social networking where things are quite popular,
you see lots of it. But then all of a sudden that was there around
for a little bit. Then it kind of went where, like they say the first
one, bam, bam, bang. That was everywhere you went.
It's just. Oh my God, this movie. And it's all medically correct, but yeah,
no, it's an alright movie. I told you about that. My mother in law bought
me the Blu ray for my birthday once. Yeah, I remember that.
It's really weird. Thanks. Can I give you my dad's review?
Yeah, your dad watched it? What? With you? I went
every time I put I pot around there a couple of times a week,
and I put around there and I said to my parents,
hang. On, hang on, hang on, hang on. I've not met Dan's parents. I don't
know why this is, but I've not met Dan's parents. But apparently. So it's
a bit like tackleberry when he goes back to his family,
his parents house, and they just like punch each other and
shoot guns. But this is like a family of movie lovers. And you
just, yeah, what happens generally? We just talk about
what we've watched that week. You do quotes back and forwards, don't you? You probably
don't even have normal language conversations.
It's just we literally quote eighties. That's how we taught. We quote eighties films to
each other. See, this sounds amazing. My dad at the dinner
table, my dad will go, he'll say something. He'll go name the film. And I'll
go, Beverly Hills cop two. And he'll be like, yeah. And we'll
just carry on eating. And then he'll say a line from some other obscure,
like Stallone movie. And my sister will say, yo, that one.
And my brother will be like, yeah. And alice just sits there
like, what the fuck is going on? Do you know? I've never met any of
your family? Have you not met my sister or brother?
No. Maybe you will one day, Gavin. Maybe you
will. Okay, cool. And so
what was going on? My dad said he watches the horror channel quite a lot
and so does my mum. Occasionally. They, like, watch it, see what's going on.
And he went, oh, me and your mum watched a terrible film the other day.
I went, oh yeah? What was that? He went, well, it was supposed to be
scary. It was called the human Centipede. Have you heard of it? I went,
yeah, dad, I've heard of that. What did you think? And he was like,
wow. I just, I just couldn't take
my eyes away from the screen. It was so disgusting.
But I wanted to see what was happening next and what was the point in
it? What was the point? And then my mum chimes in with, well, they were
just putting their bums in other people's mouths. And I
just don't understand why that's a film. Can we have a
new segment? Ask Dan's mum and dad. Well, I did want
to get a recording of them, actually, because I thought on
your phone. Just record a voice memo, please, and send it to me
next time I. Watch the horror film. I will. Just. Just quickly go
back to your mum. Midway point, bumps and mouths. What else did your mum say?
That was it really. They were just appalled by it. Just absolutely appalled by it.
Oh, okay. All right. Okay, next. Next up on the list. So number
nine, funny games. Both versions are the number nine
here. Not seen it. Okay. I don't really count it as a torture
porn film, but it is torture. So I guess I can see what they're saying.
Number eight, weird one here. They've got two films again. The heights of
a thousand corpses and devil's rejects. Now, gav, you're a massive rob zombie van.
What do you think? House of thousand corpses, one of my favorite horror films.
It's quite torturous, isn't it? Guess it is.
I wouldn't have put in torture porn. I think some. I don't know.
I've always kind of put in slasher. I'm not really sure.
It's a kind of a mixture of different films. Devil's rejects
is the sequel with their family, Firefly family,
which rob zombies asked the question, do people want to see a part three?
Apparently recently, yeah. And the second one's a
different type of movie. It's more of a road movie, if anything.
And it's a little bit more. There's more maturity
to the second one. There's a bit more drama, I think, to it,
or more responsibility to be more of a different type of
film or something. I can't really get it. I'm not sure. But as
torture porn films.
It'S hard, isn't it? Because where this. Where this genre suddenly starts bleeding into other
genres is where it's just basically antagonizing someone to
the point that they pretty much get killed. And is that tortures all the time.
It's really hard one to say is it was genre. So many
movies you could be like, well, it's a bit of a torture porn movie,
you could say, I suppose, but I don't
know. I don't know. I don't know. It's a hard one to pinpoint. I don't.
Personally, if I pinpoint, I'd said stuff like hostile and saw where someone's actually
tortured. That's. Do you know? That's kind of what I think
of it. But today's movies, I wouldn't agree with that. But I like the films,
so fuck it. What's next? What's number eight. Number seven on the list is hostel,
which we'll be discussing tonight anyway. Yep. Six. Number six is saw,
which we'll be discussing tonight anyway. Yeah.
Number five is Antichrist, which I have not seen.
Have you seen that? Yes, I have. And I got
to know, I kind of forwards through it, really. I was. Wait. I was forging
up to the extreme stuff because I was just.
Because I just was interested to see what the hoo haws about. I wasn't
really interested in the film, really. Just seeing it. William Day foe. Just having sex
lots in the woods. It just. I'm not really interested. I don't want to see
that genitalia mutate mutilation stuff.
I was gonna say, apparently there's a really intense scene.
I don't know.
It's a film. Is that man or ladies genitals?
And there's both, I think. I can't remember.
It's a film. What's next? Next is a serbian film.
I'm quite a fan. Yes. I've only
watched it once and I don't think I could probably bother watching it again.
It's really hard to stomach. I feel it's
not a good film. You know, it definitely does what it's supposed to do.
I say a fan. I say that I quite enjoyed it for the film.
It was. I haven't seen it since I have a UK cup
version. Because obviously it's cut. Don't know how much was cut. Probably quite a bit
my sister in law gave me. But mother
in law gives you human centipede. Sister in law gives you fucking
serbian film. Brilliant. I know what's next. What's. What's your
father in law gonna give you next? I don't know.
A cheese grater and some lube. There you go, Gav.
Hopefully you'll never listen to this show. Hopefully not.
Yeah, I. Serbian film.
It's an alright movie, I suppose. Torchport. I suppose you could kind of. I guess.
Yes, to a certain degree you could do. I suppose there is some torturous
elements going on, Peter. Woman tied to a bed and kind
of raped as such, then head sort of lobbed off.
Spoiler. So, yeah, I suppose,
yeah. Okay, what's up next? Number three is bismois with
a french movie. I've not seen it. No.
Rape me. Is that what that translates to?
I think it's. Yeah, I think it does something like that. Fuck me
or rape me. I don't speak French. I do remember it being something like that.
It's two women, basically. Instead of a guy and
a girl. Like natural born killers. So yeah, it's an alright film.
I quite enjoyed it. Obviously we haven't put this list together. I've just found a
list to read out. Number two is audition, which I am a massive fan of.
It's really, really hard to watch. I'd love us to cover it one day.
I think I have Takishi Mike. I think I have cameo
in hostel actually. Yeah, he's a great director and so a lot
of his films are quite fucking crazy. Like visitor Q is pretty
mental film as well. And number
one on the list, which, and I am a fan of this film, is martyrs,
another french film just been remade.
Yeah, I did. Really? Why it's
american production? Well, because it's foreign, it's subtitles and people
don't like it. Apparently the, the whole, sort of the heart to it, the whole
soul of it or such, isn't there. But this is just one reading.
So, you know, you take it as a soul. I might give it
a shout. Just. I will. I will give it a watch that.
But yeah, I will check it out. But the original masters,
torch boy. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Okay. But you know,
you've got all these. We could keep going over and over
and over and over. Different films. But yeah,
it's a strict torture films, I'd say.
I like to say it's just films where people have been tortured as well.
But this film, this list and the genre itself does go off
into other areas. Yeah, it's some wavy lines,
isn't it? Into the other genres. Should we get into our
first film? Yeah, let's do this.
So this movie is called Saul.
Now this came out in 2004. Now generally, quite often
I have little stories for my film that I watched. Now I
was in San Francisco again at another point in my life watching
a film. And I went into. I took a drag, the girlfriend, into cinema to
watch it and I watched it. Then when the lights came up, I turned
around. There's about six or seven young kids have
somehow got into the cinema, watched or,
and the saw movie itself, first time you ever watch it
and I saw it's quite a new thing. And the ending,
it was, whoa, okay. And quite
sort of a little bit shocking at the time, I think just a little bit.
I wasn't sure where it's going. And I was really quite surprised
with these kids in the movie. They all looked.
They all looked, yeah, kind of wide
eyed. Well, good. That'll teach them for sneaking into a horror movie.
The little shit. Two strangers awaken in a room and they
recollect recollection of how
they got there or why and soon discover they are pawns in a
deadly game perpetrated by a notorious serial killer.
I always said penetrated by.
It would be. It would be definitely say
this movie has Danny Glover in it who
was. It was filmed for like three days. All of, of his parts
and stuff. Now this movie has
a few things in it now basically you've got James Wan,
who everybody knows of now, who's gone on to bigger things with the
last fast and furious film. And he's
pretty prolific now. I look at him now and think,
man, you look like you're 15 years old. Then I think,
Jesus, he must have looked like he is too when he made saw and stuff
like that. But this was his debut as well, wasn't it? He's a. He's about,
he's around. I think he's my age actually, which is quite. So. It's like,
oh, okay. He's just a very youthful looking person. This was his
debut film. He is australian. His co partner
who went to film school with is Lee
Wanna, who just had his directional debut with sinister.
Free. No, no. Insidious. Free insidious
three. Those guys are kind of good. Little horror collaboration at the
moment. Well, he did that and obviously James went off to do fast
and furious. But they've both come back I think, for possibly
insidious. No, conjuring two.
I think the haunted. The Enfield Poltergeist.
Yeah. So these two from Australia, they went film school together and they both got
along. They tried doing some bits and bobs. What ended up happening
was that they wrote the script and got it to
some people or an agent or something who shopped it around. People were
into it and they said, well, we'll give you finance, but you need to prove
like you can do stuff or whatever. And they made a ten minute short.
Have you seen the short? I have not. Is it on YouTube? It is
on YouTube, on the Blu ray. So I picked
up a Blu ray copy of this movie for one pound 24,
which had load of extras, but I didn't get a chance to watch them.
So that's a bit unfortunate, but I know a few things about this movie.
So they shopped it around, they got that, they wrote this,
did the short film, they got the financing, went ahead,
made this movie. And this movie was very, very, very lucrative
for everyone involved, not just financially, but for
like spawning the relationship between the writer and director
to go on to make a lot more films. Which are, to be honest,
he's become a, if he carries
on the way he is, he would, you know, regard be regarded in
about 20, James one on about and possibly both them. But James one more in
about 20 years or so, he might be regarded as a master of horror almost.
Yeah, he'll be up there with some of the big guys because I've got.
To say he's got, you know, he's got a good,
good way of directing films and he's got an old school classic
way, but doing it in a new school way without being it cheesy or anything
like, you know, the conjuring and insidious. There was really good
old school flicks and stuff. So this was, this was good day. Just tapped into
a new, new vein, so to speak, which was slightly missing.
And yes, we try and do torture
puns through the whole movie for the whole podcast.
Yeah, we should try to make some really cutting jokes as much as we can.
Really funny. Sharp,
sharp. Oh,
yeah. What do you, what do you think about this film? Have you got any
stories about this movie? Not really. I remember it coming out. I remember,
remember the picture of the soul and everyone was sort of
like, you've got to see this movie, you know. And that was it. Like,
it was a word of mouth thing. Definitely. Yeah, yeah, definitely. And everyone was
like, wow. And for me it's got a connection. Much like fright Night
and last episode, it's got a connection to Princess Bride because
Carrie is the main guy from the princess pride.
So it was great for me to go and see Carrie ulls doing something again
because he hasn't, he doesn't do a lot. You know, he's not a huge actor.
Quite a fan of Tobin Bell as well. Danny Glover
was in it. Like I said, I forgot he was in it. And there's a
few other people sort of spread throughout it, really.
2004. That's kind of a good era really, for horror.
There's a lot going on. This was new, it was different. This interesting
story. Six more sequels and a
franchise which went every year until panel, my activity took the
Halloween spot. Yeah, it's the most franchise,
isn't it? Which was found footage. So that took over the sub genre.
There we go. So we must become the end of that. Must be a new
one coming out soon. Which almost James Wan started, I think with in
fact doing like the conjuring and insidious. Yeah. Like more
traditional haunted house type. But it's not a
new thing. So it's kind of like drifts and drabs.
You know? Yes. Gone. Sorry. So is it. Am I right? I know the
franchise is definitely the most successful money making horror
franchise of all time but Saul itself, wasn't that because I achieve
it was to mate, isn't it? One of the most. I know Blair Witch was
the best because that was really cheap to make,
wasn't it? And it made shitloads of money. But this is up there. And I
know the Saul franchise is the biggest money making franchise ever. It's ridiculous.
Yeah. Yeah. It's made like. I feel like the.
The sequels kind of strayed away from this.
There's this type of. Because this was a very. The way this is told is
mainly through flashbacks and two guys in a room, you know, and other
things that are happening around it whereas the other ones are just people. Lots of
the building they need to get out by performing terrible things.
It just turns into what I
guess the audience were kind of craving for at the
time. Yeah. You can imagine loads of 18 year old teenagers chanting
for blood in a cinema by the time saw seven, eight and whatever the
last ones were came out. Yeah. Come on. Whereas by
then I'm just like, well, this isn't really that entertaining
for me. I don't have many notes for this film. I got
to admit, I got pretty fucking bored by this.
Oh, really? I haven't seen it for ages and I was
just watching it and thinking, oh, come on. And skip,
I think it's because you. I know. The end now we're gonna spoil this film.
Obviously. We do tend to spoil our movies, but just the whole bit.
The end. When he stands up at the end. At the time, when I watched
in cinema, I was like, oh, my God. It's a very. Both these films to
talk about are very much murder mysteries as well. Yeah.
And, yeah, that was quite shocking.
But this time around, I had seen it since, but this time it was just.
I could see. I don't know, maybe it's because aged a wee bit.
And I just. I was bored by. I really was.
I don't even have that many notes. I'm bored of it. So I probably won't
even talk about this that much. Which is funny because it's very well known film
and, you know, I'm not. Quite a fan of it, actually. I forgot how
much I enjoyed it. I haven't seen it that much, probably.
This is probably about my fourth or fifth time of watching it. And like I
say, it felt like less of a horror film at times.
It was more of a murder mystery. Like, you say it felt like I was
watching seven at times. You know, I mean,
the way that the bodies were found is
well shot. That one bathroom
sort of set is great. And it's just
the backwards and forwards play between the two people locked in the bathroom.
And it's like that british game show,
the Crystal Maze, wherever the people used to be locked in a room and you
had x amount of time to get out of the room to find out how
to get out of the room. Would you like, saw better if Richard O'Brien was
jigsaw. And he's there skipping.
Around with his bald head doing little flute things. Or harmonica. No,
playings. Little harmonica. I do really like
the way that the jigsaw. Like the. The puppet,
he's not called. That's Billy, isn't it? The puppet. Jigsaw is like the main baddie,
like Tobin Bell, but I really like that. And I love the way that people
wake up in the films. Not so much in this one. It only happens
couple times, but in the later films, they sort of wake up. There's a tape
and it's like, hello, I'm going to play a game with you. And then it
kind of goes into. Like, Liam Neilson's narrative. You are.
Sorry? Liam Neilson. Is he doing the tape?
Hello, I'm Liam Neeson. You're trapped in a room.
Right. So Richard O'Brien's in it. Liam Neilson.
Neeson is doing the voice. Excellent. Oh, this is gonna be brilliant. We should remake
this. Well, they're talking about doing, aren't they? They're rebooting. So soon they're talking about
it. Should we go in first? We go in for a pitch meeting.
Oh, God. I don't know. I just think it needs to be left alone for
at least another ten years. Perfect.
Yeah, he won't. Richard, we're gonna say. And then obviously,
just out of nowhere, Richard, Brian's gonna start playing the harmonica.
Shut that goddamn harmonica up. And I end
up killing each other. Well, Danny Glover's in this, which is great.
Be nice. Like an older version of Murata.
That's when he rigs in it as well, don't we? You are need rigs in
there as well. Well, we could chuck him in as well. Yeah. See?
Weird. Let's not talk about them at Saw 2004. Let's talk about
Gavin. Dan saw 2020. That come
out. No, we should talk about Saul 2004. The reason we
wanted to talk about this film is because it is one of the first torture
porn films that. And it's one of the ones people remember
that kind of. I say re kick started, if that's a
word because there was already gore movies out there.
But this is the one. One of the most mainstream ones. This and
hostel, which we'll talk about later on. These are the two that people are.
Oh, my God. Like you said, gabriel, with a word of mouth like he cuts
his own leg off and everyone in the cinema even though he'd already been
told by all your mates that it happened at the end when he picks up
that saw, you're all like, oh, God, is he gonna do it?
And it holds up well. I think the effects are good. Yeah. It's not a
particularly scary film. I watch. A director's unrated cut.
What's. What's extra in it? I think there's some more vomiting
or something. Is there a bit. Some. Someone's vomiting or something? Oh, no, no,
not vomiting. Someone's going through the pigs intestines,
which is supposed to be human. Says he's looking for the key. Oh, yeah,
that's gross. There's more of that.
So for anyone that hasn't seen this, I mean, we've spoiled it. But basically the
whole plot mainly is about two guys who wake up locked in a room.
Check. One chained to either end of the room and there's a few
clues and a dictaphone with a tape recording on it and a dead body in
the middle of the room. And they have to figure out how to get out
of the room. And they slowly figure, I think, these bits and bobs out
all the while we get flashbacks and sort of side flashes of
what's going on outside of the room of what happened to them and their lives
before one of their wives has been held hostage. And it's
this guy called jigsaw who goes on to be the baddie and a
million other Saul films. And he's holding them hostage for fun.
He's got cancer, hasn't he, if I remember right. Is that right? Yeah.
Yeah. And so he's kind of just like, wants to. He's almost
like he feels he's doing it like some
kind of vigilante because everybody he kidnaps has done something
bad like these. A bit fucking elaborate, though, isn't it?
He's fucking G. He's a genius. Just get a gun.
I really like the beer. I've got that. About that. It's nice revisiting
the bit where they go to his sort of workshop where he works on all
his. Because we were talking before once about the. How he'd love
to see behind the scenes on, like, a Jason film where Jason's actually that stuck
stacking up the bodies and propping them all up ready to fall out on people.
And it was nice to actually see them go to Jigsaw's
workshop where he actually invents all these fucking torture devices and horrible
things. And actually he had a body in there, like, ready to go. Like,
the guy was tied up. And it was great to see,
actually, like, that side of a psycho killer
in a movie. You don't get to see it that often. And he invents really
shit looking puppets on little tricycles.
Who on earth said, yeah, James, I'm glad you've been
spending, like, at least four weeks in a workshop making this. Look at
it. Look how fucking grey that is with little red rosy cheeks on it.
Oh, it's on a cute little tricycle. Scary, that. But I think.
But say what you will, it's now a little bit of pop culture,
that little Billy puppet shit, you know?
Do you not think? No shit. It looks fucking shit.
No shit. I'm really surprised. I thought you'd be a fan of
Saul. Yeah, it's got a gritty
feel to it. Like seven. There is one scene
which I find. I do. I find really scary.
Look, I do like it, but I watched it this time around.
I was, like, almost kind of under the feeling if it'd been like
Hitchcock Cox rope. And it was literally. It was the movie set
in that room and that was the movie. I think I'd kind of like that
more. Do you know? I mean.
The cops trying to get to them, I think just sitting there. But I
know it'd be very hard to do. But I think it would have been really
interesting. You know, I'd like to see a cut of that.
I reckon you could cut that together. Yeah. Yeah. A fan cut. But it
probably come out like 35, 40 minutes. Yeah, but it'd be
really insane because you just wouldn't have any clue and you'd only know what they
know, which is great. Yeah, I think that'd be a better movie.
That would be interesting. I'd quite like to see that. Maybe that's what reboot
a new, new saw movie. Yeah, maybe they'll do that. Just waking
up in a saw.
Find out what the fuck's going on. Saul. More saw. More seesaw
whore. So I don't know. There is one
scene I got quite. Have you seen the bank? Quite suspenseful.
The tagline for us slasher movie whores with
sores. Oh, what's the movie I quite fan of? Italian.
Isn't that Hollywood? Hollywood Chainsaw hookers. Nana. Some.
Oh, no. Torso. Have you seen torso? Oh,
yeah. Oh, yeah. Nice. Halls with sores.
That's the, um. Yeah, good one. Yeah. I want to
talk about this scene. Yeah. Which I find
quite suspenseful, done really, really well. And that's where the guy wakes
up. The photographer guy wakes up in his apartment. Okay.
Someone's in there. Yeah. And he's walking around,
the lights have all broken and he's using a flash of a camera to try
and. Yeah, yeah, that was quite good. Yeah. And the
guy's wearing a pig's mask, isn't he? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was okay. That wasn't
too bad. And the bit where the little girl is in her bedroom
and she says, mummy, there's a man in my room. She's like, no, there isn't.
Go back to sleep. And she looks up at the cupboard and they just
show this little, this eye looking at the cupboard and he says, hello,
little girl. Fucking hell. I found that.
I've completely forgot about that bed. It really made me jump. I love the
fact I've forgotten about that bit now. Brilliant. I must have really been
paying attention to that.
So we. You haven't really got a lot to say about it, so then,
have you? Hang on, let me, let me, let me. Let me
go for it, shall we? Want to. Let's break it out
a little bit then. Let's break it down. Gav, from the get go,
I was appreciating the old Lionsgate logo, got to admit.
Oh, I love the LGF logo. That was all right.
Yeah, this film's quite a mystery film. It was actually inspired
by the mad Max scene where the old Max,
old Mel Gibson, um, handcuffs the dudes leg
up to. Oh, is his arm to the car, which is broken down.
That's right. And he says to him, you've got however long to
cut your arm off, whatever. Yeah. Yeah.
That's the inspiration for this, which is quite good. The short film they did
was the scene where it's the woman with the
reversed bear trap on her face. And again, that's quite
a bit pop culture. And how is it that big sort of that
picture image of her with that thing on her head? Well, that's quite a lot
of the poster designs as well. Yeah, that scene is quite
full on, I gotta say, actually, for that scene. But, yeah, these guys,
these guys, they wake up, they don't know what's going on. There's a guy
in the middle of the room, he's. He's got a gun
and he's just. Looks like he's dead.
He's blowing his brains out, basically. It looks like, isn't it? Yeah, pretty much.
And they just. They realize that they're stuck there. There's these two
guys, they start chatting away each other. They're handcuffed, they can't get away.
They find tape cassettes on them saying, listen to me.
And the dude in the middle of the room's got a gun and a tape
cassette player in his hand. Other hand. So they managed to get hold of that.
They listen to staff and they. They just don't
know why they're there. And they're kind of stuck. They eventually find a mobile phone.
See, there's a lot of good stuff going on here in this bathroom. I really
did like that. And he finds the tort, the souls
in the toilet, doesn't he? The tools in the toilet? Yeah.
Yeah. But obviously put the first time he looks in the
toilet, he puts his arm up the fucking shitty u bend,
which is disgusting. Yeah, that was a tribute to
trainspot. In that part, actually. Yeah. Well, it was. What else goes on?
Well, one of them is a doctor and he says, oh,
he wants us to cut because he tries. One of them because he tries to
cut the chain, doesn't he? And the saw breaks and he says, these aren't made
for cutting metal. This guy wants us to cut through our own feet.
And then we start having the flashbacks and we find out that they've both got
some stuff going on in the real world, which makes them a
little bit dubious affairs. And one of them is a. One of
them ends up, it turns out, is a. Like a private investigator
who's photographing the other one to
prove an affair. But it's lots and
lots of dubious stuff going on. But then we get, like a weird
other story that ties into all,
which is where there's lots of other murders that
are happening around this city that are. All the police come across
these scenes where someone's basically. Basically been put in a situation where they have to
try and escape, but they end up killing themselves or dying whilst they were
escaping. For example, there's the guy that
is placed in like, a maze of barbed wire, isn't there? Yeah.
And he's got like an hour to get out of the room, otherwise the
door will lock forever. And he tries his best to slice through all
the barbed wire, but he just dies of bleeding.
And they say there's a bit memorable with line where she says,
some of the cuts were so deep, there was a stomach acid on some
of the barbed wire. So the guy was like really trying to get out of
that barbed wire cage, but he just couldn't do it. So this,
this is the bit that reminds me of Saul, really, because someone's going around
the city. You mean seven killing people? Sorry, yeah,
seven. Not. So. You're right, you're right. Then you've got a detective following.
It's quite nice tip having Danny Glover, because he's. He's played
it before, funny enough. And Danny gloves watching the CCTV cameras later on.
It reminded me of him in predator two,
watching the footage of older Nick
Nolte. Not Nick Nolte, the other guy. Gary Busey.
Yeah, yeah. Carry on.
So we get this whole. Then we get even a
little bit of a backstory to Danny Glover, who's the detective.
He ends up having had a. It does get
a bit confusing with some of the timelines, doesn't it? At times you're like,
what's. What bits happening now? What bits of flashback?
There's a bit where Danny Glover gets his throat slit, where he almost arrests the
badding and then it suddenly cuts to him with the scar on his
throat. You're like, well, hang on a minute. I do think they're almost
too clever for their own good with the plot. I think it's too convoluted.
I think it's too much to carry on with. It really doesn't need it.
Apparently they didn't have them feel like they had enough footage, so they struggled in
the editing room. So they were using like re read other
parts with just another. Making it through a CCTV camera and stuff like
that. And it's still about an hour and 39 minutes moving is. I mean,
you could have cut this down to like a 1 minute 25 or something,
you know. Yeah. The stuff in it, I don't think you need all
these little things going on. I must admit there
is about a 20 minutes I would probably take out of this film
towards not right at the end, but coming
up to the last act. Yeah, I started getting really bored about an hour and
22 minutes into it. You know, it's almost like about
midway through, it feels like there's two films that have been stitched together.
Yeah. Just. Just for a period. Just for about 20 minutes.
And it's difficult to follow because then we start throwing in the
guy. I know you don't watch a lot of, but the guy that plays Zepp,
who was in lost so this guy, Zep, who, the hospital cleaner
starts throwing him into it and he's. Then we find out he's
in on it, but because. Only because Jigsaw framed
up as well. Yeah, yeah. And all
the while, doctor Lawrence, who is you carry yours.
His. His wife and child have been kidnapped
by Jigsaw or Jigsaw's cohort,
Zeppenna. And they're being held and they're basically going to be assassinated.
It's just there's quite a chilling bit where he throws his wallet
to the other guy and he says, oh, have a look at my wife and
kids. Lovely picture of them in there. And the guy
goes through it and the picture's not in there. There's a different picture
of them gagged and tied to the bed.
And you sort of think, oh, my God. But he doesn't tell him, does he?
Just. No, he hides the picture. You see the picture. I've always found this,
um, I've noticed recently if past couple
years, for research and make. Trying to write films, make films chilling, really chilling
parts where you can really get an audience member a little bit more on the
edge of their seats is when there's been invasion and it's not really known
as exactly what you're saying, then the guy doesn't know that someone's gone
through his wallet and done that. And so it's a
good play on that sort of invasion fear type
thing. Yeah, go on, carry on. Um, one thing
I'm gonna say about this film that really stood out to
me is, and you may not agree with me, we don't.
Some always agree. I thought the acting was
fucking brilliant in this film,
particularly from Carrie. Yours, when he's at the end,
when he's really distressed and he's crying and he's saying,
my family need me. My family need me. And he's on
the phone and he screamed down the phone to the
guy who said he's gonna kill his children. I just. It's just,
he sold me. I just. I was there with him that whole time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree.
Yeah. It's quite good performances. Even Lee,
the writer, I think even he did actually reasonably
okay acting for it as well.
Yeah, no, I thought it's quite good. Yeah, yeah. I think he was quite
in distress towards the end. When he starts to go, eventually goes,
I'm gonna cut through my leg. Starts cutting through his leg. It was. Yeah,
you could. Jesus. It was quite full on that he's getting white and whiter because
the blood's gonna then he goes to go, he's gonna shoot the guy, doesn't he?
He says, sorry, I shoot you. He doesn't know if his family's
all right because he's heard them on the phone, shots fired.
But then the guy comes in the room. Adam's still alive.
It's kind of. Again, it does get a little convoluted. Like you say,
there's too much going on, almost. Yeah. And he goes back to help him after
his legs cut off. Actually, I can help you because they fight this other dude,
and he drops a gun and they've got a gun there, and he goes,
I'm going to have to leave you. Just leaves you. I need to leave you.
Why didn't you get the gun and shoot the chain? That's what I was
thinking. Like, get him out of the room together. He can help you. You can
help him get out the room. Yeah.
Um, and he just goes out the room and he leaves him. So big
twist is the person in the middle of room is not dead.
He is actually alive. He is Mister Jigsaw,
aka shit puppet maker.
Shit puppet maker returns this summer.
Yeah, he, um, he gets up, pulls off, like the,
the prosthetic mask he's got on. The first time you see that,
you're like, fucking hell. What is going on? I remember just thinking, what is
happening? Yeah, it was good. It was, it was
like, oh, wow. It's a lovely little twist. And then he starts putting
a bit off his face, like, what's going on? Which is brilliant. He just
hobbles out the room, shuts the door and that's it really. And that's what you
want tomorrow, isn't it? Pretty fucking bleak ending,
really. Just leaves. That guy there says that tough, like, just leaves him.
And he does say to him, the key to the, to your chain
was in the bathtub with you. But obviously the first thing right at the beginning
of the film, he wakes up and he pulls the plug out the bath and
the key goes down the drain. So he's been fucked since the opening
scene, basically. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Yeah.
One thing I didn't like a bit too cartoony for me was the fact that
their chains were attached to some way that
they could be a electrocuted. So whenever they sort of tried
to do anything jigsaw, like, pressed the button and they got electrocuted, I thought that
was a bit cartoony business. Yeah,
it's an easy get out of free jail card. It was almost like they
were like, shit. But what about how they gonna. They could do this. And then
someone in the room went, what about if you. Let's cute some. They went,
yeah, pretty. We'll put that in the script. Yeah. A bit too much.
So that's what if they can go do this reboot or something like that,
then, yeah, let's strip it back. Take it back to the real hardcore
mystery element of it. That's brilliant. You know, some shock tactics, but they won't because
it's torture porn. They're gonna try and do something risque,
presumably, and it's dunno.
So I think the most graphic scene in the film,
apart from the leg cutting scene, is probably where she wakes up with
a reverse bear trap and then finds out that the key to getting out,
get the bear trap off her head, is in the stomach of the dead man
in the room. She then figures out he's not dead as she's
cutting into him and she has to get the key out of his innards.
It's pretty gruesome. And she's obviously in a mental asylum because. Well,
in a hospital, because that's a pretty terrible thing to have to do to get
out of her room. Other than that, wasn't that gory,
really? No. People remember
seven. I keep comparing it to seven, but people remember seven has been very gory.
But actually, if you watch it, it's more what's in applies.
It's the psycho principle. It's psychological.
Between the sound effects and the performances. And everyone know what's
going on. The camera can slightly move away, but you know what's
going on. So that's why it's a bit worse. It's almost worse because your imagination
is. It's thinking what's going on. That's exactly.
Exactly. You know, it sounds to
me like I'm more of a fan than you of saw.
Give it a thumbs up. But it's a. It's Jeremy Beadle's left hand thumbs up.
It's not a massive one.
I'm gonna give it a thumbs up. I think it's a great film. It holds
up well. It's worth revisiting if you haven't seen it for a while.
What do you think about the sequels?
I saw a part two with Mark Wahlberg. No,
Donnie Wahlberg as the cop I thought was a kind of.
But I don't know where this is going off. Or just in a part two.
And that was gonna be end of it. No. Then a part three came out
and I watched a bit of it, but I turned it off halfway through.
It made me feel sick. There's some pig, pig,
ground up pigs. They're swimming in or something like pig.
And it made me feel, literally, it kind of made me feel sick. And it's
like, it's not, it's not what I want out of horror film. It's not
what I'm a fan of. Horror films where the films
did get like that. There's a one scene in one of the later films which
I've got a real phobia of needles. And there's a scene where an ex
junkie has to dive into a pit full of used syringes.
And that scene, I couldn't even watch that scene, which,
great, it's great that there's a horror film out there that I cannot watch a
scene in, but I couldn't watch that. It was too much for me. And they're
all sticking in her arm. I've watched all of them.
When I took some time off work a few years ago, I sat
there over about two weeks and watched all of these films back to back.
What are they like? Well,
obviously what one's probably the best one. I would say two and three are worth
a watch, definitely. But 45678 and
I believe nine is the last one. They,
they're so ridiculously tied into each other
and they start tying back to the first one and then you realize Danny Glover
wasn't Danny Glover, he was Mark Wahlberg and Mark Wahlberg was Donny Wahlberg. But then
it's just they find out the skeleton of the guy
who cut his leg off on in one of the later ones. But then they
find Danny Glover and then, and it all tries to be too like flashbacky
flash forward all tied. In and, well, that's because
that's not the end game. The story when they first wrote it,
that probably wasn't the idea. That's like this, you says nine.
So it turns out Jigsaw wasn't even Jigsaw. It turns out
in about the, like the fourth or fifth one, he's been dead for years.
It turns out he died not long after the first or second one. And it's
actually his daughter doing all these murders.
It's really weird. It gets really weird. Does Danny Glover come back?
I think he might be in at least one of the sequels briefly
for flashbacks again. Like they obviously gave him enough money to just turn up
and just do a day's shooting. Just weird.
I definitely say if you're going to watch any of them do the top three,
one, two and three, I wouldn't bother with any of the others, unless you are
like me, a bit of an OCD nutter. But number one is definitely
the best one. And it's definitely. It definitely kicked off because it came out
the year before hostel and I think off the back of this and then hostel
people were then excited about horror again, but for different
reasons. Not so much for scares, for the most extreme things you
can see really much like the sort of the eighties and
late when you call the gore splatter fests, you know, the VHS
people out at school. I'm not gonna. I'm not
gonna watch my copy. I'm probably not gonna watch the film again, I think,
in my existence on this planet.
So you can. You can have my Blu ray copy. You don't have a Blu
ray player, but that could kickstart you getting a Blu ray player. Okay, thank you.
Happy birthday. Well, James one, I'm really sorry
that Gav didn't appreciate so as much as me, but well done on the Fast
and the Furious movies and the other horror movies. Well, I'm sorry you didn't get
to direct the new He man movie, which you did decide you were
gonna just direct for about a week and now it's gone to fucking
McG. So.
Is he crazy Christian mcG? Is it like a McDonald's?
His real name is like Jeff McGuigan or
something. Oh, his nicknames. McG, is it?
Cuz I'm. There's that bit with Christian bound that rant once. Wasn't they recorded
on. Get this
fucking idiot off the set, McGee,
why are you getting so angry over a movie which is probably gonna be shit
with some directors and names? Sounds like McDonald's best
burger of the. Month, by the way. Gav,
just very quickly we've had another comment.
We started with doing like some live television
telephone show or something. Oh, sorry, just one moment.
Danny Glover is just had. Danny Glover is live on the
scene right now. I'm joking. It's not Danny Glover.
It's actually our friend Mark Williams. I thought you can actually
send me over to, um, Danny Glover. And I
was gonna start Danny Glover
do a Danny Glover impression.
What's all that, riggs?
No conduct. But yeah, shout out to Mark. Mark says,
give me. He says me, y'all. So, y'all, that's a shout out,
yo. All right, well, let's just get
out of here, man. We've seen, so have
a way. No, we watched. See. So we see sword.
We saw. So we saw. So we saw. So that.
So, so. Okay, well, I think there's some little girls
who want to do a little song now.
Oh, a little song. They're gonna do a little chat and then get a little
song. They want to talk about Mister David Bowie's labyrinth.
Oh, Henson. Ask Jasmine.
Jasmine, Daisy, are you there?
You sound like Kenneth Williams.
Hello and welcome. Welcome to Jasmine's segment, ask jazz.
And we're included with Daisy.
We're talking about labyrinth with David Bowie,
who died last year.
Okay, tell me about the movie, girls. It was little.
I really like these little red things that can take out
their eyeballs and take off their head and things.
That's quite scary, Daisy. I like,
there is like these goblin things.
Yeah, the goblin king.
The goblin king has got white hair. White hair.
No, he's got, like, this brownie gray, whitish hair.
Okay. And I like
Sarah because she saves her baby brother.
Oh, that's nice. You have no
power on me. You marry me,
the brave. What, babe? Baby? The power. What power?
The power of the mood. Who do you do?
Do I marry the babe? I saw my
baby crying hard as
baby cry. What can I do?
My baby's love have gone left
my baby blue. Nobody knew.
Okay, cool. Can imagine. Spell,
tree slime and snails. Or puppy
dog tails, thunder and lightning.
Then baby said, gaga. Gah.
Dismisses magic.
Okay, thanks so much, guys. Bye.
This is about elaborate. Bye bye.
Bye. Hey,
buddy, get your own fucking room. I paid for this.
Well, thank you very much for that. Jasmine and Daisy, a very insightful look
at the late, great David Bowie's labyrinth.
Jim Henson. Fantastic movie. So back
to torture porn. Back to sexy,
sexy torture porn. And happy Valentine's day to
all you lovers out there. Are you sexy people?
Horror lovers? So this is hostel.
Eli Roth. This is his second film,
2005. I saw this in the cinema with Johnny,
the guy that I spoke of last time, my good friend who
doesn't know who Christopher Lee was. I told him
that he's now been mentioned on the show, and he said, oh, great. So I'm
like Cole Pilkington now, am I? Dickhead?
Then he called me a dickhead. Oh,
should we get him on the show like Carl Pilkington? I thought, well, I'll tell
you what, though. I can fucking give him a little quiz at work. And he'd
get really annoyed, though. Start getting pissed off. Fuck off.
That might be quite amusing, though. We should write a quiz of,
like, not hard, but harder questions about
film and horror and just see what his answers are recording. Yeah.
Yeah, that'd be great. So hustle 2005. Yep.
Three backpackers head to a slovak city
that promises to meet their hedonistic expectations with
no idea of the hell that awaits them.
I a big fan of this film.
It's right up my street is in the whole people.
It's very, the whole is very eighties ethics filmmaking
with the group of characters going somewhere and something happening
to them. It's not news.
It's been done many times and will be done many times again.
The film itself, though, has a little bit more class to it,
I feel. And elo roughs a debate amongst
itself. We actually did discuss it once and I actually
cut it out of the show. I don't edit very often, but I cut it
out because I thought it's almost like, it's almost like a controversial thing,
saying the words Elo Roth. It really splits horror fans, which is funny
because he himself is a massive horror fan and always wants to kick
it with his films. Especially like the whole new seventies
cannibal film that he's just brought out, the green Inferno,
not lost in it yet, but you know, he really does do these things.
And cabin fever was kind of. I took
stuff from that for Shadow of death because Shadow of Death for me was
my thank you to 80 slasher films where I
feel like Cabin Fever was for him was the same sort of thing. And this
movie itself is kind of has an almost
seventies italian film side to it or something. Do you know what I'm saying?
It's a real, it's a different filter, not, you can't pinpoint. And I
think it's a class above, way above saw.
But the budget would be a lot bigger because Eli Roth himself was David
Lynch's protege and had a
little bit of merit with him and got in there with Quentin Tarantino.
So he went on to produce this film. He pitched it to him while
hanging around in his swimming pool.
And Tarantino said, yeah, you should do it. And they talked about it a
bit more back and forwards. And he come on as
a producer, he's on the commentary. And for the second one, because he
produced the second one, I've not seen it. There is a part three directed
by the dude Scott
Spiegel, who was involved evil Dead films back in the day
as a producer of sorts and maybe co writer of Evil Dead two.
Anyway. Yes, he made part three. Not very
good movie. You've seen part three? Yeah. Part two,
yeah, I didn't, I didn't like part two and then I rewatched it again about
six months ago and thought it's alright. Actually, yeah, it's alright. It's literally
the same movie. It's girls. And there's a little bit of
a different Twitter story. The original though, I really like it.
Now what I like about you though, Roth, I watched a movie the other night
with Daniel Day Lewis called there will be blood. Really enjoyed
the film. The way Daniel Day Lewis is acting in his
characteristics is really. You can just keep a camera on his face and
you can read his. Read the story without him saying a word.
Is that the film where Daniel D. Lewis says, I drink your milkshake? Yeah,
I drink it all up. I drink the milk, yeah. Oh yeah.
Milkshake. Yeah, he does actually. Fucking great.
But I watched with watching this as well around the same time.
There's. You can see where Eli Roth as a director gets
really good performances out of people. Everyone in this,
you really get into this movie. There's loads of tits all over the place.
There's people being hacked up
left, right and center in a really imaginative way which you don't see
until past the third act mark.
The third act is kind of going into the realm of what has
actually going on in the movie. And it's. It's a. It's a great movie.
Yeah, I've just gushed there. Go on and tell me something about it because people
would be bored of me. Well, if you showed this movie to somebody who didn't
know anything about it, the first almost half an hour is just a
comedy road trip sort of vacation movie, isn't it,
really? It's just three lads, sort of like american pie type
humor. You know, they're just trying to get laid. And obviously you've got
the icelandic guy. 80 sensibilities, man, 80 sensibilities.
But except. Except they're not. They're not cliched characters. They are almost
kind of unique. Or one of them is a bit gnarly, one of his.
Bit more of a party. One is a bit of a nerd. Then you got
some crazy European who's just jumped in with them and stuff.
Yeah, he's like the king of the spring.
Oli. Of course my horse. Of course my horse.
He's great. He's a real character. I really
like this film. I think before we get into it properly, I think
out of the sort of 2000 and onwards torture
porn films that sort of came out, this is
probably the one that I will watch
again and again and again. And the one that I really hold
up there. Yes, I prefer it to Saul as well.
It's a slightly different type of film to Saul.
It's less murder mystery, more road trip into
fucking hell, basically. Very imaginative,
inventive, great twists, very tongue in cheek.
Eli Roth, clearly, as everybody knows, and I'm not a
genius for saying this, but clearly loves horror, knows the genre very
well because there's a lot of references and a lot of things that
he's lips on his head. He really knows what
he's doing. Even the Takeshi Mikkei cameo was great for
people who spotted that. And like you say,
a great performances, particularly from Jay Hernandez, I think
is brilliant in this film.
And it's quite, without being gory,
there's a couple of scenes that are quite effectively
sinister and spooky.
I won't talk about this now. I'll talk about this but later on. But yeah,
good film, good film. I must confess, though,
I prefer cabin fever.
I absolutely love cabin fever. Yeah, I probably
still am. This is a great film, don't get me wrong. Yeah. But the
trouble that Roth's got himself into is he's done those two
films and everyone expects him to do
stuff that's as good and as inventive and as crazy. And I'm
actually not. I'm still a fan of his work. He does
get slated. I thought the Green Inferno, I could see what he was trying to
do with it. A lot of people slated that
and a lot of people have slated it. I think
what he tries to do with his films is he tries to
scare slash shock the audience with gore or
scare or whatever he's trying to do. But he tries to throw in that eighties
frat Boyden puke fart
Dick joke comedy into the bag, which a lot of the
sort of mid to late eighties horror did have. But I just
don't think a lot of people get that or want to see that anymore.
They want something fresher. And I think I like those throwbacks.
So that's probably why I'm a bit of a Roth fan. Agree.
That's just me. I've got not a bad word to say about Elo Roth,
really. People are jealous, I think, because he's got a. Got him a Tarantino.
He's not really. If you look at as a director, he hasn't really made many
titles. He's just got into the movie
industry. He makes for Tarantino. Getting his stamp on your
film is fucking well done. Well, it started with the whole David lynch thing.
And to be fair, he's, he. There is something about him,
though. He. He is very slow making his films,
but his films are. He's kind of like, in a way Rob zombies.
Like it's a different type of filmmaker who isn't cheap. They kind
of do have their own unique look on
something. They're really pushing it across quite, almost nearly creative ways
without Rob zombies. Halloween and Halloween two,
but yeah, yeah. Which again is also
very much Quentin Tarantino way. Now these guys,
all these three people I'm speaking of are very much independent
artists in a major world. Yeah,
yeah. With their creative control and their little flair and spin
and look of their visual flair and look of things. And they do what they
want to do. I don't get me wrong with saw. I give it
respect for its independence. Absolutely, absolutely.
For making that film and these guys getting it and doing it and that's
making something which is so profitable, which makes a fucking franchise.
John mean, it's gonna make a lot more movies than this one and it's probably
made more money in this movie. Yeah, totally, totally. But it's
a cloth above saw. It's a real
good flick. Should we get into the story? Cuz let's just chat about it.
Should we go? Should we go? Should we go down? Let's start off in Amsterdam
and let's go to a coffee shop, Dan. So I mean,
we can, like as blokes, but as human beings you can relate to a lot
of, lot of the shit that's happening in this. These are just guys. They're doing
a little holiday, especially if. You'Ve been to Amazon Amsterdam as well.
You know, I went there two years ago with Alice. Fucking crazy place.
I've been there twice now. You've been there a couple of times. Honeymoon, man.
Honeymooner in Amsterdam. Yeah. So we start off with these two
american guys and their icelandic friend Oli. And they're sort of just
getting stones trying to get laid. Like I
said, it starts off like a bit of a teen sex, road trip,
american pie type movie really, which I dig. I do appreciate.
I agree what you're saying. Some people might not be into those gags anymore or
never watch those gags from the get go, but I like those gags.
And I think fine in horror, you. Know, even fright,
it keeps him refined in the movie. I don't think he plays them to the
point where it's cheap, over the top, where many films can do horror
gets too serious. I think with some of James Wan's
films, as great as they are, they do get a bit too serious sometimes,
you know, and I want a bit of humor in my comp, my horror.
I like when, when we look at things like what we do in the shadows.
They're refreshing because they're funny again,
you know, I like, I like comedy horror. That's probably my favorite type of horror,
is ones that can throw in a bit of comedy in the mix because it's
ridiculous. A lot of the things you're looking at are fucking ridiculous,
so why not? I think Eli Roth does that very well and we'll get into
some of the scenes he does that with in a bit. This film makes
me feel like it's a lot older than ten years, though. But it's nothing.
It's like, was it 2005? Yeah,
sorry. Eleven years now.
It. I feel like it's a lot older movie. That's why
I think I get a real sort of seventies, eighties kind of vibe to.
Because also european settings. It's a european setting.
Yeah. If this could have. If this was gonna be. Sorry, queen. If this
real bad film, like a cheap version of this, that would be.
I know, American wrote in Paris.
True, it did. Yeah. They. Yeah. Let's not talk about that film.
But yeah, yeah. The backpackers. American. Free american backpackers in Europe
and stuff. Which came first. American werewolf
in Paris. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That was like nineties,
wasn't it? Yeah, I bet I own that. Obvious.
Um, yeah. Hilarious scenes. They. Gay clubbing.
One of the american guys has got a fucking, as we call it in the
UK, a bum bag, as it's called in America, funny pack. Yeah.
Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. They get
into a fight with the guy as soon as he came on screen. I thought,
that guy looks like fucking Legolas. Then they actually did call him Legolas,
which I forgot. They do call him that, which is great. Just getting
into those. Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings.
Legolas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, right. Because around that time that would have
been Lord of the Rings was then. Still. Everybody talks
about Lord of the Rings. Yeah, gone. I'm sorry. No, no, no, that's fine.
That they just, like, they're trying to get laid,
end up this really weird, funny scene where they meet
another guy called Alexi and they go in his house and there's a couple just
having sex, really stoned having sex. And they just all sort of
sit there getting stoned watching you guys. This is
fucking amazing. Oli is
brilliant, isn't it? Eli Roth met him when he was
doing something for Cam fever, possibly, I think,
and wrote his character for him.
Because every scene he's in, he really feels a show.
He's very, very funny. Yeah. Like, but. But not in a dickhead way.
He's very likable, although he, like, draws eyeballs on his ass and
moons people. These are real life characters.
They're. They're really. It's really well cast and it's a really good performance
that's been given by actors and pulled out
by director. Very good. Yeah. One thing I will
definitely say especially between the Americans who are supposed to be friends Paxton and
whatever the other guy is called. I can't remember his name now, the other character,
but he's Josh. They seem like they've
been friends for years and years and years. And with Oli as well, it just
feels like the three of them definitely have been traveling around Europe together.
Their goal is to get to Barcelona, isn't it? That's where they're aiming for.
But they thought, fuck it. While we're in Amsterdam, we're gonna shag some girls and
we're gonna get seen after pussy.
Or is he good? Oh, he's got a name for it, hasn't he?
Oli. There's an icelandic name for it.
Schneeper. He calls it Schneeper.
Schneeper patrol. He's got a t shirt at one point that says,
schneeper patrol. So they're late night, they get back
and they can't get into their home. So this guy, they start getting
pissed off the neighbors and this guy says, hey, guys, come up
here. Come on. And they all go up to this
guy's room and he starts talking to him. Oh, no, he doesn't have an accent
at all. He has a different sort of accent. He does know. He's called an
Alexi. He does have an accent. I don't know where he's at.
And says, oh, you want girls? Do you want girls
like this? And show some pictures on some old school Nokia of phones. But there's,
like, him with, like, two or three hot girls in
every picture getting it all. You'd be like, who is this dude? Fucking?
I'm not trusting. He's not a looker, is he, Alexi? He's not really, is he?
You know? But apparently, you know,
in Slovakia, it's fucking wicked. Yeah. So they're
like, all right, well, all right, let's do it.
So they get on this train. They go down there. On the way down there,
they meet a fellow who likes to use his
hands in his salad and on boy's knees,
he's just a bit of. He's just. He's not
too bad, actually. But, like, again, really good. Really good scenes
aren't they? Really good. Well done. It's just quite creepy. Like, he's eating his
salad. It's almost. It's almost got a Hitchcock tip to it, this whole
character, you know, sort of. But, yeah, it gone. Sorry. No, it's just, I was
gonna say sort of a bit creepy,
like, I don't know. And he said eating his salad. And they said or something.
They talk about knife and fork. And he's like, oh, no, people aren't really in
touch with their food. You need to feel the food with your fingers.
And he's just being a bit. Almost a bit sexual. And then at one point,
he just puts his hand on Josh's knee, doesn't he?
Yeah, I'm sorry. On Paxton's knee. And Paxton's like,
goes a bit nuts about it. He does. And the guy gets out of there
straight away and they all laugh at him. They. They get to this hostel and
they get off the train and this place looks like shit. It looks like.
It looks like local towns near me, actually.
It just looks desolate and just really sort of run down.
They walk in the hostel and pop fictions on tv.
That is brilliant. That's brilliant scene.
That's why you can have Tarantino's producer, you can say, can I just have a
bit of Samuel Jackson in a different language on the screen? Yes, in Slovakian.
Brilliant. And there's loads of birds, isn't there?
Loads of really tasty females in the round. And they all smiling.
They go up to the desk and Oli, the icelandic guy, says, oh, like,
hi there. And he's like, oh, you must be Oli, the king of the swing.
And they look at him like, you booked in as the king of the swing.
He said, of course, of course, my horse. So he's like,
literally everywhere he goes, he just calls himself the king
of the swing. Well, they get told that they're gonna be sharing a room
and they look to each other, go gay, and they go upstairs to
discover it's actually two females who are getting undressed. They spot
in the mirror and they. They go, oh, we're going to the sauna. You should
join us. And they sort of go past and they're like, whoa. Okay, cool.
Next scene, loads of naked women in the sauna. Yeah. And they're
like, fucking sweet. The only is they're getting his
balls out and his ass out for everybody because that's what he does.
He shaved his balls then. He's got super, super shaved balls,
super silky balls. He keeps talking about them as well. He's just hilarious,
guy. They go clubbing with all these girls and they
take some ecstasy. They're having a great time.
That japanese girl that will meet up with later on, she's there as well.
And everyone's just having a great time. Really. All these. It's like a. It feels
like a local hostel pub or something. It looks. It feels like the pub,
which is be connected to the hostel, but it's not. But do you know what
I mean? It has that sort of vibe. Real. Yeah. Everyone's the. Who's at the
hostels? At the bar? Well, Josh goes outside
to get some air or something and this is our first glimpse of the
bubble gum kids. How good are those kids?
They're fucking horrible little shits. Now, you probably
know this and I probably should know this fact. I think they're a real gang
of kids, aren't they? Yeah, he just fine.
And one of them's got like a wonky eye. They just look like they're all
ranging from sort of the age of about five to about twelve,
I'd say. And they mug our hero
Josh, isn't it? Can I, can I. Can I press a rewind super quick?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. When they
were in Amsterdam, they had this sex scene.
I really liked the way it was shot. Do you remember that? With the silhouette
when they go into the brothel? Yeah. And you got silhouettes
of all the people. Did you notice the song?
The song. It's a song which is
in Wicker man in the sex.
The naked dance. Yes, yes. It's a remix. It's a
remix of that song. I did not know that. I did not know that.
Which is singing away a very, very. Very sexy scene when
he goes in the room. And she's in the room. Yes, yes,
totally. The way it's lit and everything. But he
runs away, doesn't he? Can't do it. Yeah, yeah,
totally. But you can forwards up again now.
So. Yeah, that scene was good, by the way. Ollie only joins in,
by the way, while we're on that scene. Yeah. Just drags one of the other
guys in and they just watch a guy getting smacked about. Oh, no. And she
says, you must pay your pay. He goes, I will, I will. You know,
it's funny, the other guy just pretends he's had sex with a
prostitute. Anyway, Josh gets mugged by the bubblegum gang outside the.
Well, he's about to get mugged, but he gets saved by our friend
from the train who we met earlier. Yes, it's nice.
Josh says, I love the bit when. When he's sitting at the bar and his
friend down at that. What's the other guy called? Pax?
Paxton. Paxton. He looks up and says, hey,
Josh Fagger.
It's such Elo Roth humour, but it can't. Such a prick. Yeah,
totally. But it's. He says to the guy with the glasses, you know,
actually, I was horrible to you on the train. I'm sorry. Let me buy you
a drink. And then he gets sort of going in and he spots. He's got
a weird tattoo, doesn't he, of a blood hound on his arm.
Yeah. It's a fairly passing thing, which plays off quite nicely, actually. You forget
about it fairly soon. Yeah. It comes into play a bit later on.
Indeed. So the boys go home
and they shag their girls and they're having some great high
drunk sex. It's all going very well. There's a really sinister
moment where the girls, in the middle of having sex, look across the room and
just sort of catch each other's eye.
This is where I said both the films. Very mystery type movies.
This is where we get these little bits of what's going
on at this place. It's almost like you wish you didn't know what the synopsis
was. But I think that synopsis actually pulled audience members into
cinema. What, you know, what the reason is behind
or what's going on and stuff, when you actually know about that. But I love
the mystery element. It's brilliant. It's very, very good.
Where's Oli? They're looking for Oli. They can't find him anywhere.
And the guy on the desk says, oh, he's checked out. Like, what? Why would
he do that? He's like, yay, checked out. He's gone.
Did you notice what room they were in, by the way? Oh,
I saw this in the trivia. Was it 264237
from the shiny 237? 264, you know,
room 666, Gav? Yeah, that'd been better.
So, yeah, a great shot where they get a picture text
message from Ollie. Ollie saying,
I go home and they're like,
what the fuck is going. Cause they find out he's got a daughter,
didn't they? Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah. And he just goes without saying anything. And they
think that's unusual. And this is where the mystery doll gets turned up
to eleven. Now you're like, greatest. All right. And you even know,
you know, what's happened to him. And it's not even that shocking when it
reveals what's happened to him. His head's been chopped. We zoom into
that picture on the shitty old Nokia phone, like you say, and then we realize
that he's been decapitated. Yeah. And it's not really that
shocking, but you really start to feel as
one of those guys with the mystery of where's he gone? You start
to really emphasize with them, even though you know, what happened,
which I find is a very interesting dilemma to
be in as a viewer, you know. Well, now we feel even more sorry for
them because they are really gutted that Odie's left them and
they want to find him. And they suspect that there's some foul play.
Foul play is in the air, I suspect. We know definitely
there is because he's had his head cut off. So we know that there's definitely
foul play. So they go out.
Well, yeah, you get that man in the hostel with his little whistle, don't you?
The crazy, sort of the guy from the opening credits who's, like, cleaning down all
the hostile bits. He's all.
Oh, yeah, yeah, clean everything. And then someone gets
her token off. And then we cut back to Josh and Paxton. So now we've
been given a little taste of there's something weird going on in this town.
And we go back to them and they're out again with a couple of girls.
Well, this is when you start because we kind of already know
this and watch it as a repeated viewer. It's. You start to think,
like, is. Is the hostel involved? Is.
Is the bar involved? Is. Do you know what I mean?
All these different things. Are they. Everybody's involved as a whole town
who's involved, who's not. Yeah. And it's nice
knowing that on repeat viewings because it's.
You start to see these things. Like, you say you'd watch this over and over
again. And that's definitely, in my opinion, as well.
It's very layered and. Yeah, we go to this bar. Now,
Paxton starts sort of suspecting these
two girls. He's like, wow, I don't really trust these girls.
I don't really know what's going on. And they end up, I think,
is it Josh that feels sick? I know. Yeah,
Josh feels sick. Packs and goes to the toilets,
and he accidentally gets locked in the storage room, and he just
falls asleep in there. Then we
cut back to Josh waking up. Now, this is where things
don't go well for Josh. So he wakes up and he's strapped to a chair,
isn't he got a bag of. This is all
sudden. This is when we turn into now proper torture porn, sort of thing.
Yeah, yeah. And he is strapped to a chair and it's just his pants.
He's got a bag over his head. He cannot see what is going on.
And we know what's going on because we've already seen torture. We know the idea
of the movie, the stops us and all that stuff, like I'm saying. But you
start to really feel for this dude. You're like, oh, man,
you're a long way away from America, you know?
Is that. I. Policeman says later on. Yeah, yeah, he does.
You're a long way from home and you start to really feel
for it. Yeah, go. The guy picks up a drill.
Are you a sort of backpacking type person? I've done a bit of backpacking.
I backpacked around Australia for a few months. I went to Canada and did
a road trip with a friend in Canada for three months.
I've done a little bit. I've not really done Europe, which I'd quite like to
back around, but I'm kind of a bit too old now and I'm settled down
with Alice. So I feel like me and her will probably continue to
have lovely holidays in Europe, but we won't be doing anything, like, sort of a
month or two traveling around anymore. No,
not really. I'm not. I'm too much
for, like, staying at my home. I'm very.
A lot of people like to go venturing, partying and going places,
and I don't tend to sort of do that back.
I'm too old for it. I'm just. It doesn't. It's never really interest me that
much. But. But the times I have been, when I've been. Because I have been
to quite a few different place in Europe times I have been.
I, you know, I could feel like
kind of that whole. Sort of that feeling of that when
you're in different. No, no, no.
The slight intimidation of it and stuff like that because, like I say,
I'm more of a stay at home person, so I get that slightly intimidated.
So, like, if I'm in a place which is not completely english
speaking and it's very local like that, I'd be like,
man, I'm a little bit out my depth here and I don't trust anyone.
I'd be really paranoid sort of thing because that's kind of how I am and
you. So I myself can really feel this movie and those characters
and the situation be like, man, if there's an. If Thomas
Cook wants to have a movie to support their adventure holidays,
this is not the movie to go with. You know, it's going to put you
off. It's not going to make you want to go to Slovakia.
Yeah, you're right. They're very
arrogant, cocky foreigners. And I don't just mean the Americans. Oli as well.
And the japanese girl and everyone there. They're just like, yeah, man, they're rocking up
into this foreign town and they've got no real respect.
They just want to shag their women, drink their beer, take their drugs and move
on to the next town. And, yeah, they get. They get
their fucking comeuppance. So Josh gets a drill shoved
into his leg. He sick
on himself. He's got the old cage from pet.
Symmetry cutting of the old blade. That is.
That's nasty. That's. That's. That's the real torture, isn't it? So the guy,
just to describe this scene, he goes around behind
him, and we don't see what he does. It does something to
Josh. And then he unlocks the handcuffs and he says, right, I've opened the door.
You can run away now. Josh stands up and we realize he's had his achilles
tendon sliced close up. Macro shock here.
Now it splits wide open. And he falls to the
floor and he's screaming and trying to get. I think it's a really nice touch
with all the sick. Breaking news. Breaking news coming through right
now. We have more comments on questions or anything to
ask us on the Facebook page.
Now. This is Tristan Gnarly Martin.
Do you know Tristan Gnarly Martin? I don't, but he sounds gnarly.
You do? True or false?
Fair user bulk once threatened to use candle magic
on me after I called her a bitch.
What? What's that mean? Well, you know who froosa bulk is, don't you
know? Because I'm absolutely naive. What is it?
She's the. Okay, so she was in return
to Oz, but as a little girl, but crazy one in the craft.
No, I've not seen that film. Oh, I. Okay, yeah, I know
who she is. Yep. Okay, so hang on a minute. Who?
Friend to use. Justin. Call her a bitch.
I don't know. Possibly. All right, fact or
fiction? I don't know for that one. Then what? Should we go for that?
We. I say. I say true.
Middle name is Gnarly, has the guts. Pull through.
Sabulka, bitch. I go true. Okay,
he's got two. Before we talk about something else, very quickly. Yeah.
Theresa bulk, as weird looking as she is,
I think, is incredibly hot.
And a lot of people berate me for this. Fuck them.
Because I think she's crazy hot. Do you think she would do stuff
like, to you that other women probably wouldn't peruse?
Is not. She would dress you up as, like, a stay puft
marshmallow man and want to eat you.
Yeah. With gravy. This is
such a romantic episode. It really is. I'm so happy with us.
Anyway, Tristan also says two more things. This is
breaking news. I'm gonna have to have some break.
Fact or fiction? You ready? The clover filled monster
was created from a photo of a giant.
Giant meat poop from a drunken Stephen segal.
True. That is a definite true one. That one. Let me read this again.
The clover monster created from a photo of
a giant meat poop from a drunken Stephen seagal.
For real. I read JJ Abrams went
round to Seagull's house, and him and Chuck
Norris got a poop out of his toilet
and they modeled a monster on it. I tell
you what, the next one, I'm not gonna ask now,
but we're gonna do that world of strange. Tristan, we're coming back to. To you
in world of the strange because I think that fit that quite well. All right,
cool. Carry on with hostel. Exciting.
I'm gonna feel really bad, though, if anyone gets any questions. And we finished.
No, we put up a thing on Facebook. So that's it. No more questions.
No more questions. We could do this from now on. We should do this from
now on. It's taken us 30 episodes for shit.
We are pretty shit, but we're at least getting two episodes out this month.
That's not bad, because in January we did get one episode out.
Brilliant. Sexy. That is sexy. So carry on. Achilles tendons have been
split. Oh, God, that looks painful. That's all we really see
of him crawling towards the door. Then we go back. Paxton's woken up in
the locker room, in the locked room that he's in, in the bar.
He goes back to the hostel. Now, this is kind of like a
flaw in the plan, isn't it? Because they didn't expect him to van
a vanish into a locked room. So he kind of rocks the boat a little
bit here. Yeah, yeah. So he goes up. Now, this is my. This is
my creepy scene. This is when he goes upstairs. This is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is two more girls. What? This is.
This is invasion of your space. This is where his space
was like. Yep. Can't carry on. So he goes back to the room that they
were in, and two girls are in there. Not the same two girls, but another
two girls in exactly the same position saying exactly the same things.
They're luring them in. This is what they're trained to do, these people in
this hostel. And they're like, oh, you should come to the spa with us later.
You must come. Yeah,
so it is creepy. Horrible. Well, this is. This is where,
again, you're with him on this. Paxton?
Yeah, you're with Paxton. And you're just,
like, really feeling this. Like, oh, my God.
They charfu. But, like, this is two different women. And so
he goes down to the reception desk and says,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the guy's like, you checked out.
I didn't check out. You know, I'm here. And he's like, no,
your friends have checked out. You checked out. And then he says about the japanese
girl. Yeah. He says to her, she said, oh, my friend's gone.
My friend's checked out. I don't know where my friend is. And he's like,
well, I don't know where my friend is. This is weird. And he says,
oh, they checked out together. And they're like, what? What? This is very unlike
either of them. What the fuck is going on? Yeah. So he says to
her, like, do you want to sort of hang out with me for a bit
and try and find our friend? And she's obviously, like, she doesn't speak English
very well. Great mystery movie. This still is. Yeah. Great.
I almost would like. Here you go. There's a new cut of the movie.
Cut out the stuff where, you know, it's what's going on and talk to of
stuff and just have those guys, the mystery element try that out.
Huh? Huh? Now, doesn't the japanese girl, hasn't she been
sent a photo of that? Is it the chimney that she's been sent a photo
of.
Josh? No, you're thinking of when
it's Odie and that girl, I think. Yeah, that's earlier
on. Yeah. So. But they do eventually get a photo
of a chimney because they start wandering around and they find the
chimney, don't they? Like, on the building? Do you remember?
Yeah, I'm thinking of the other picture. Okay, carry on.
He finds the chimney, and the children attack him.
And they take his. Take everything he's got, pretty much. And he grabs one of
them and starts strangling. It's amazing. You see, like,
the anger and the whole feeling alone
now. And he just takes it out on his kid because it's what happens
with people. Someone gets fucking, you know,
verbally attacked. Wherever you end up getting so angry, you go and
take it out on the next thing, which might be sort of slody
under you as such. Whatever. And this is for him, is punch
bag as such, isn't it? Literally and physically. It's because
he's. He's feeling all. All out of sorts now because he's had a bit of
deja vu in the hostel, isn't both his friends have gone. Yeah.
In this little village out of nowhere. Yeah, definitely. Yeah.
He's been mugged. So he goes to the cops, doesn't he? What?
So this again here I'm sitting. Are they involved? They know what's
going on, but they feel like this is the policeman. He's.
He has a bit of trust in me because it goes always. We always
say this in films, you always trust the cops. Like in inside, when the cops
come. That's a classic example. But she doesn't.
You feel safe? You always feel safe. Yeah. Unless it's.
Unless it's maniacal line that I mentioned earlier,
then. Yeah, unless it's maniac cop.
Don't trust maniacal. If he's called maniac cop, that's gonna
belt, but a lot. If he's like PC Copdh. What's your name on PC
Cop? What's. What's your first name?
Maniac? My brother's Wolf cop.
Which mean your brother's wolf cop. Oh, sorry. I thought you actually told me your
brother. My brother is wolf.
Copy now.
Wolf cock. Go on, carry on. Yes.
So he goes to the cop. The cop says that sinister
line, you are far from home, my friend,
and. You really feel it with him.
And I love it. I'm like, great, this is it.
This is. We've gone to the point of no return. Now, what's gonna happen
now then? Well, he comes out the police bar, the policeman's PlayStation,
and he spots those girls and he sort of follows them
and he goes into the barn, he sort of confronts them and they're like,
laughing at him. Do you notice how rough they look here?
Elo Roth wanted to make them look rough and rougher to reflect
their souls. They're acting really crack whore ish. I've put
down on my notes. They look like crack whores.
So he says to them, where are my friends? And they start being really cryptic
and saying they're at the. How do you say?
The art show? And he's like, what art show? She's like, the exhibition.
He's like, what do you mean? She's like? It's an art show where people,
like, things are on display and he's like, that doesn't sound like something
that my friends would want to do. And she's like, no, no, no, it's fine.
It's fine. Come with us. So he gets in the car with them
and there's loads of bubblegum in the car. And they drive along
and they get closer and closer. And he realizes he's going to this factory that
the chimney is attached to from earlier. But he got a photo.
I really like this. So at this point here, you're in the car
with him, you're going along, and he's just looking
out the window, looking at scenery. And he doesn't realize
at this point here this might be him being driven to
his death. Well, it's supposed to be. He doesn't know.
Personally, I would not have gotten that car. Of course not. And this guy is
Front's driving and the girl's their passenger. And they both know this as well.
But he doesn't speak in slovakian to each other. He doesn't know what's going on.
And that's terrible. Terrible. Like, you know.
Yeah. Brilliant. So he gets there, meets Takashi.
Mate, says, you will see,
Kevin. You can spend all of your money in there.
Yeah, very good. Just one line. But I love it.
Really well done. Excuse me. What's his liking there?
Yeah, it's very good. Really good. And he sees.
He's been told it's an art show.
Yeah. That's all. He goes up to the booth is, I love this fact.
It's a little booth there, a little shed with some guy reading,
looking at page three. He's like, how much? And he's like, for you,
nothing. Go in.
So the girl says over there.
And the girl just says, yeah, go in that way. And he's like, wait on
a minute. Like it's very suspicious. But he's
so desperate to find his friends, he's willing to believe that in
this run down old factory out in the middle of nowhere, there might be an
art exhibition in there. He's got fucking bigger balls than me.
He could get his balls into his mouth. He definitely could.
He definitely could. So unfortunately, the first thing he sees
is his mate Josh being dissected by the man from the train.
And then that really gnarly scene of those
dudes coming out, grabbing him and pulling them away, slamming into doors.
And the door shuts. Yeah. It's like,
how the fuck's he gonna get out of this? She says to him at one
point, something real powerful
line. She says, I make you my bitch now.
Do you remember when she says that? Yeah. When he looks back to it.
Yeah. Yeah. She says, now I'm gonna make you my bitch. And they drag
him along. And we get a glimpse into. Really quickly, a glimpse into all
these different rooms. Really well done. Horrible things happening in every room.
Horrible scene. That is what's going on in those rooms.
He's taken into the room the same as his friend was taken earlier. This is
back to the whole torture porn. He's put down to a chair,
strapped in. We know what's going on. We know what's gonna happen.
We've seen it done to a few people already. And he.
Yeah, this guy comes in and.
Is it the guy with the scissors? Yeah. He's snipping at his
face because he. Cuts a block of hair off. So this guy
obviously does it. This job, this thing, because we still don't know what's going
on here. Really reminds me of scream, where Fonzie
is swinging the scissors at the kiss. Really reminds me of that
scene. I've never. Right, okay. Right. We're gonna remake. We're gonna do.
We're gonna do hostel four. Henry Winkler is the main actor
as the fons.
Now, there's a great little callback here, because earlier on, Paxton was
speaking a bit of German. He can speak German, and he's not,
you know, often foreigners, english speakers,
are portrayed as just only speaking one language. They travel around getting into
trouble. He actually can speak a bit of German. And this really throws off his
torturer, who is German. And he doesn't like it, does he?
It's brilliant. He hates it because he's. He's really getting
off on trying to stab this guy and hurt him.
Paxton, he's really like, this is how this
guy fucking ejaculates in his pants. He really
fucking likes to hurt people.
Well, it is the Valentine's episode. If you're gonna Jack Ditton pants in any episode
of the podcast undead here, which should be this one. Kevin. I know I have
twice already in this episode. I've tortured people three times in
this episode. I've. They've got tape over their mouth. You can't
hear them, but I'm just fucking stabbing left, right, and center right here.
I've tortured my little friend. My little one eyed friend.
Beat, beat. Seven shades of purple out of it.
Yeah. Anyway, enough about wanking. Let's get
back to chainsaws. So they gag him.
He gets gagged because all complaints doesn't. He's like, there's this one's defective.
He speaks fucking German. Get a gag on him. So they put a pulp fiction,
obviously, another call back to pulp Fiction. They put a bull gag on him,
don't they? Just like Marsalis and Bruce Willis get you.
And you know, because he's begging him in German and he stops saying, you know,
please, please don't do this. Please don't do this. Guy picks up his chainsaw,
bit of a weird I. He decides to cut off just two of Paxton's fingers
here. No, no, he does it by accident. Is it an accident?
That's an accident. Tie behind his back. It says when he turns the chainsaw
on, he picks it up. And as he picks up, he just literally chops his
fingers. He's not gonna get play shout chopping someone's fingers off
behind their back. It's not, but it's good that he does that because he does.
He won't even get a bonus through that.
This scene is both ridiculous and
disgusting and shocking. I think this is Eli
Roth through and through. So to paint the picture,
you've got a chainsaw, weed wielding torturer slipping on the
dismembered fingers of the man that, who's in the chair that he's about to torture,
only to have the chainsaw then land on his own stomach and just
lie there cutting into him for fucking ages. It's just
ridiculous, but brilliant. And you're kind of like your shocked by it, but you're also
like, yes, fucking have some. Yeah, you do
think it is almost like a James Bond movie when he is tired up,
you think, oh, bond gonna get out of this one. And he
does get over, which is kind of cool. So,
well, he, um, has, how does he,
does he press a button or something to contact the, the bouncer,
the security? How does he contact the shirt?
No, it's not shown, is it? He just goes out,
doesn't he? Because later on we see the chains are still running later.
No, no, no, he's still in there. He's tied up.
No, he's not tied up. He's let himself out and he's kid,
he shoots the guy. How does he get out of the chair?
Because the guy with the chainsaw, when he chopped his hand,
fingers, I think he chops the straps as well. Okay,
I'm pretty sure I could be wrong.
We should know. Well, he gets a gun then he.
Because the guy's got a gun as well, so. And anyway, gets out and he
shoots the guy, the guy who's cut his stomach, shoots him in the head.
Anyway, the bouncer probably must hear the bullet shots,
I guess. No, because he won't come in because he think he's shooting him.
He must have contacted him or said maybe said it in German. That's probably
what he does. Shouts out, come here, please. I think he does.
Anyway, so he goes back in there. So he quickly jumps back into his seat.
The guy bounce comes in, sees the. Sees the client, his clients on the floor.
Oh, my God, the client's on the floor. What's going on? He turns around,
packs and shoots him in the head. Bang. Great. He gets out of there,
and now he puts a costume on. He puts some amazing horn head costume
on. How good is that? Horn head. I want Horn head. This.
This Halloween. We could go watch John Carpenter. Let's. Boy, let's get some horn
heads. No, we're going as Corey Feldman from
Lost Boys. What, frog brothers? Yeah,
it's already done. So it's a great, great scene here.
Like I say, he's in disguise. He goes down to the basement. He works like
that. Right? In the basement is where they take the bodies for the hunchback,
which is crazy. Again, a crazy character in this film.
So there's this guy with a big hunchback. You can imagine him, can't you?
Just sitting there having his sandwich and a cup of tea with his flask,
and he's got blood all over his hands. He's sitting there eating his sandwich,
then just gets back to. He's a bit like the
morgue attendant in Braindead, just getting on with
it, you know, just doing his job. Yeah, yeah. Fazed by what he's doing.
But he's also, again, Eli Roth loves these obscure characters.
He's kind of like the little blond, weird kung fu kid.
Just a random guy just thrown into the film. He's got his
little whistle, his little hunchback, and he just cracks on with it. He just cuts
bodies up.
You can imagine him putting on a bit of Beyonce, if you could, like,
you put a ring on it. That songs
the bodies, doing little twelves and stuff around, flipping the.
He's probably got like a little basketball hoop, flipping fucking body parts
in it into the race bin. Brilliant. Now Paxton's hit at himself.
Where's he hiding himself, Gav? He hid himself on a trolley
full of bodies while he's. While his dead mate stares at
him. Brilliant. Now, another funny Eli
Roth bit of ridiculousness is seven hand falling off
the trolley. Yep, but it works. It just adds a bit of
tension. I love the fact that he's stuck on the trolley and
he can't push. The trolley along over and
over and over again. So it's so subtle. It's brilliant.
It really is. Isn't there a film where someone
locks a body in a boot and, like, a hand sticking out the boot and
he slams it about four or five times before he, like, decides to pop the
hand back in the boot? I spent as fucking three or four movies,
those gags. More than three or four, probably many movies.
Yeah. Well, it's hilarious. While he's on the trolley, he spots his
two severed fingers because he's picked them up, and he drops them again and
he picks fingers.
He wants to figure, fuck it, I want my fingers back. And he loses
the guy. Picks him up and just puts him in a little tray.
He's pissed off about that, so he picks up a hammer.
Yeah. He smacks this, smacks this guy over the back of the head. Managed to
get away, goes up to, like, some room, looks outside and
sees who we thought earlier when we might. Well,
I was myself questioning, is the cops trustworthy
or not? No, they're fucking not. They're outside chatting
away to the guys there, and they just drive
off Mitty. They might not be, but it's gonna. Be a really stupid police
home. It's gonna be a stupid policeman. To think all these limousines,
an abandoned warehouse, are there for no
reason at all would be very silly. So, yes, the cops are involved.
So while that's happening, this is when this has been about
15 minutes, probably longer in real time,
but in the film, it's been about ten or 15 minutes since Paxton
got out of that room. And the chainsaw is
still running on the stomach of this guy. So the guard
goes in because he's like something weird. He goes in there and he's like,
what the fuck's going on in here? Yeah, and I've got a note here
that just says four words in capital letter. The bodyguards
are huge. They are pretty big.
Fucking huge. Giant european guys.
How many weeds. Great in a action film, wouldn't they.
Would reckon, for Weetabix? Five. I reckon some of them are five,
Gav. Five weebly, with a sliced banana
on. It out there, man. Out. Fucking crazy. Off the
chain. So he goes up
to the changing room and puts on an outfit,
some leather gloves to cover up the fact he's lost his fingers. He's in a
lot of pain. He's got. He put sausages up there.
Definitely. I would. He's got. Put two other two floppy fingers
on the glove. Yeah, but you see he does have floppy fingers,
doesn't he? No one's gonna look. Now. This is where he.
This is my most sinister scene in the film,
is this american guy. Brilliant,
brilliant psycho. Well,
this is what you do for part two, because it's a part two. You have
two american psychos, and they are the basis of the second part.
The second movie, though, there's one guy very much like this, but he is greatest
guy. What's he like now? He's just. He's.
He's on. He's like Charlie Sheen on loads of crack and coat.
He's just like, how are you gonna do it? Let me ask you a question.
And he wants to know. No, don't tell me. Yes, do tell me. Are you
going to kill him? Are you going to do that? And then he sort of
says, I've done everything. I've done this, I've done that. And there's a great line
I've written down here. He says, I fuck a million women. I've done this.
I couldn't even tell you the color of the tits the last girl I fucked.
And I just thought, the color of the tits?
The color of the tits. I wrote it down because I thought, that's such
a weird Eli Rothline. I couldn't even tell you the colour of her tits.
It was. Yeah, it was quite. It was quite weird. But anyway, he's part of
this. But things like dialogue, like,
definitely tells you the sort of character he is, though, doesn't it? He's a real.
He's. He doesn't care about people in the slightest.
Yeah, yeah. So he then sort of says,
accidentally reveals the plot to us and to Paxton, which is
basically that there's a website that you can join and you can kill.
Torture them for money. You got to make going out of him for a night
on the piss. If he said, I'm paying, guys,
it'd probably be quite a fun, eventful night. Yeah, but you'd probably end
up accidentally killing a prostitute, like in very bad things. It's quite
possible. So this guy, he sort of
says, how should I do it? Should I do it quick? Should I do it
slowly? And Patterson says, do it quickly. He's like,
yeah, he's fucking right. And he throws the gun down, and that's Patrick's
gun then. So he grabs the gun, and next thing
we see is Paxton escaping. Fucking great. Well done, Paxton. You've got.
Until he hears something. Don't go back. Don't go back.
What are you doing? Little japanese friend screaming,
crying for help. You don't go back. You don't go back.
I personally, it's lovely girl. Fuck her.
Fuck her. I would have thought I'd left her. Fuck her. Fuck her.
But now, this is probably the most infamous scene
in the film. This is again the scene like the sore with the foot cutting
seam. All your mates told you about it? Everyone talks about it.
It's shit. The effects are terrible. It's not great,
is it? It's awful. It's really,
really bad. What's going on? Our american friend is
taking a blowtorch to the poor japanese girl's face
and her eyeball is hanging out on the optic nerve,
which looks terrible. Like you say, gav, there's no hole. I don't know why.
They've done a really bad job. It's just literally all filled
in so you can see it's like plastic. I didn't realize how shit it was
until this time watching it, I thought. Oh, I know shit. When the first time
watching cinema, it's very much planet terror type style.
But didn't you CGI, though? No, no,
no. But I expect better from, you know, Roth, planet error knows
when it's done, that sort of stuff. But it does it because it's drilled tongue
in cheek. Tarantino again, by the way. But,
um. Yeah, it's really bad. Awful.
It's such a shame because it's quite a climb. It's not climatic.
It's quite a large scene towards the end. It should
be better. So sorry about that, guy. Sorry about that. But, yeah, gone. Carry on.
What goes on? So the American says, get your own fucking room.
It's very much like the scene where those are. Hey, buddy, get your own
fucking room, man. But it's almost like the scene in the brothel where the woman's
like, if you can't come in here unless you paid, it's almost like. Like that.
But it's a different type of entertainment. Oh,
so is. It's like, yeah, maybe we're in, like, the second half
of the film is really the first half, but in just a real full
on way.
I think Leatherface just ran by extremely.
It's like a leatherface sprint going on out there. You got Freddie,
Michael, there's a race going on. Jesus.
Anyway, Paxton shoots the american guy and then
makes the most curious decision I've ever seen.
This girl is saying, help me, help me. And he's saying, what you want me
to do? She's there with her eyeball hanging out of her eye, rather than just
helping her up and getting out decides, well, I guess what we'll do is
we will cut your fucking optic nerve and cut your eyeball off.
Look, love, it's getting in the way.
It's gonna be dangling back and forth in front your face, knocking their I everywhere.
You don't need that. If it's working. If it's
working. Look. Look what you're doing. You're just seeing the ground. Your proportions could
be off. You could be running around in circles. She can see through it then.
That's what I'm saying. Maybe, yeah. So she's. It's just
swinging back and forth along the next. Her feet. That's no good,
is it? Um. He cuts it off. Yeah.
White shit comes out of it. What could have tied it a knot or tried
to push it back in? My notes say cuts the optic nerve in
brackets. Why can
we get into it, offend people and freak people out?
Can we get an interview of Eli and we just ask that one question?
We just want one question. Why, Leo? Why does
gangston cut the fucking optic nerve? Eli, I don't give a shit about anything else
in your career. Tell me that. Good. He not got some cello tape
taped. Up, like a bandage over it or something?
They would have been able to save that. You bandage
it up and tape it up, then it hangs kind of over the top like
that. Like a slug, like with the antenna. On top of you, but kind of
drooping down slightly. But you have to keep poking it up a bit. That way
she can see what's coming because she's got like a periscope eye. Then you got.
And you can sort of like, you know, put around the corner. She can put
her eye around the corner. Oh, there's someone coming. Hang on a minute. When.
When they were on the train station, hiding behind the crates,
she could have poked her eye out. I'll just put
my eye around the corner. Oh, hang on. That's on
a film, actually, isn't it? There's a film.
There's a film by what's his name, dog Soldiers, director,
where the girl's got a cyber eye. And she
actually does that. She looks around, she rolls it out.
Tuesday, doomsday. Oh, I don't remember.
She pops out now and again. Pops it around corners. Yeah, it's like that.
So that's where Ei Ross should have gone for this.
Instead, Paxton fucking cuts it off and the milk shit come
flies out of her eye everywhere. With Valentine's
all over this shit. Yeah, man. So her eye jizzes because
it's Valentine's or I. Jesus. She noticed. She. Oh, yeah, they cut it. Then they
get. Then they go to the train station. Now this with here
we get very soon, we get a very, um,
drag me to hell moment, climax. But we won't go there yet
because we've got this great scene first where they're driving along.
Oh, God. A van
blocks things like beep, beep, beep, beep. The van pulls away and he sees the
two women from the hostel talking to Alexi,
the guy from Amsterdam who sent them there.
Yes. And now this scene.
Now this is an english audience. English audiences in
cinema, ladies, gentlemen, they don't really mix
verbally and audibly of any sense. Apart from festival
cinema goers, you mean. They don't sort of go. They don't shout out anything.
There's nothing like that. I know, say american cinemas and Canadians,
a little bit more vocal and that sort of thing, and appreciate stuff, which I
quite agree with, because then it comes with, like, a real fun thing for going
to cinema because I love it when we do a fright fest happens
there. But, um, this scene got people
clapping. Brilliant scene. It's what we all wanted.
We were really feeling for what he'd gone through. And what
does he do, Gav? Tell us what he does. He see,
he's in the car driving along and then sees
the two girls who have been playing him and his mate up the whole time
with the dude who sent them over from
Amsterdam to go there in the first place. All three of them in front
of him in the middle of the road while he's driving the car.
And he's a little bit angry with a one eyed girl next to him.
So he just goes balls out of the acceleration
and he fucking plows through. Fucking floors there and knocks
them over. Such a good moment. But then. Then you think,
oh, God. Fucking then one gets up, think, I should have fucking top
finished them off. Elo Roth finishes them off. He puts
it in reverse, goes back and does a pop over there and. He really crunches
one of the girls and they really crunches over her body. It's so
good. Yeah, really, really good. I'm glad that happens.
Then we get another fantastic scene where
they're being. So they're being chased now in this car by all the giant european
hoodlums, like the big thugs from the hostel. And they find
the bubble gum gang, don't they? Paxton and the japanese girl.
Quite luckily, there's a huge bag of bubble gum in
the car. Yeah, because the girls were chewing it in the car. Earlier.
So he says to them all, well, he doesn't really say much. He's just sort
of. I don't know how he tells them, but he gives them a giant bag
of bubblegum in exchange for them doing what they do, which is that they block
the big european bouncer thugs from the hostel, and then they
cave their fucking heads in with those bricks and rocks
whilst one of them is, like, giving out bubble gum to each of them.
Like, go on. You throw a rock, you throw a brick. And some
of the close up shots are quite horrible,
aren't they? But you see that guy's skull cave right in when the brick hits
him. Brilliant. It's really well done. And again, by this
point, again, Roth is taking us to almost
to ridiculous levels. But you're still
with it because he's reigning it in enough that it's not too
ridiculous, but it is a bit too like. It's almost like, oh, my God,
this is crazy, what's going to happen next? But it's not too cartoony.
It's just. It's everything the audience wants. What he's done here, very cleverly,
is he's given the audience everything they want.
He's given them the girls getting run over. He's given the bubble gum gang.
We wanted to watch them do something horrible, and they're getting to do something horrible
to the people that we want them to do something horrible to. So they're kicking
the shit into the bounces. Bunch of little kids just chewing bubble gum, caving in
their heads. Brilliant. Gets to the border, and we
see a cop stopping all the cars that
are trying to cross the border, and. He approaches the car.
Point of view of inside the car. You know what he's thinking? He's got blood
all over him, two fingers missing. Well,
cop gets up to the car, looks in the car. They've run for it.
It's nice because he pulled someone out of the car
and kicked the shit into them in the middle of the street in front of
everyone. Yeah. So he thought, well, these are corrupt cops. Let's fuck off.
Yeah. They get to
the train station. They run up to the train station. They go on and they
notice that there's police up there looking around and they.
The guys in leather jackets, a couple of the hood
rats are up there as well, looking for, obviously them.
They're like, shit, when's the train coming in? And they can see, okay, there's a
train sort of coming. And so,
oh, yeah, cheers for save me. Cheers for me. Getting me out of that torture
place. You didn't need to come back with me, but you came back with me.
You got me out of the torture place. Admittedly, you cut my eyeball out and
cut it off. But to repay you, I don't like
what you've done to me. Here comes a train.
What's gonna. What am I gonna do?
She sees a reflection, doesn't she? And she realizes she
is fucked up in the face. And there
is, dare I say, there is a stereotype of
japanese people committing suicide. Honor.
Do you know? I mean, you've got, like, what you call it, Harry carries it.
You think that was the sort of way he was going with that?
I think there's something along those lines, I suppose.
I can see that. And so she just dies
in front of the train. And it's quite shocking, actually. I'm seeing it at face
value. I.
Well, he's a real pupil of horror. Eli Roth, I must say.
I know some of his jokes are getting
cornier and Cornier.
Ejaculation. Sorry, sorry. He.
Valentine's.
He's a really funny shot of.
It's almost like a cum shot against temperature.
We just get a shot of an old lady, she just gets splashed in the
face with blood.
It's like, oh, okay. Interesting. I don't know why he chose to do
that. Just did so. Poor old Paxton, he's been.
Been through it all now. The woman he saved has just jumped in front of
a train. He gets on the train, he's got a scalpel that he stole from
the hostel, and he sits there, sort of like, well,
I'm almost. You know, I'm almost out of this country now. This is great.
And then he hears a very familiar conversation, doesn't he?
I tend to like to use my hands. Really.
I feel this has a more natural feeling to it.
Yeah. And it's the same guy from earlier who sort
of helped. We don't know if he's to do with it. He's got the tattoo
and he's basically. We do know he's do it.
He was. He was. Hedgesthe was chopping up his
mate, wasn't he? Packs. And of course he was. He was the one that dissected
Josh. Of course he was. Yeah. He was preying on him like they didn't.
That's right. So that's why does what he does. So. So it's basically. He's basically
seeing again now. What? How they started off on the train originally.
He's now seen it, but he's obviously probably preying on his
next victim. And he probably does this regularly as well
because it's almost like he's grooming these young boys,
do you know, I mean, he's got that pineapple kind of pedophile look to him
and the way he's talking to them and stuff. Like what he did to Josh
earlier when he sort of started touching his leg. I don't know.
Maybe not maybe that's just me,
but, yeah, just when you think everything's done,
Josh Paxton follows the guy into the.
Toilets, slips him a little card, chucks. A card under
the door, kicks the door in. What's the card? The card
is the elite hunting, isn't it? Business card. Yeah. A lot of people got
those tattoos, you know? I don't know. Anyway, you do that.
I saw somebody the other day about the umbrella corporation tattoo from resident evil on
them. Interesting. Yeah.
He sort of throws the card under as a sort of like, I'm gonna fuck
you up. It kicks the door in and fucks him up. He slits his throat,
I think, doesn't he?
But the skull port. He does, yeah. Yes, he does. And then he sort of
drains a bit in the toilet. There's blood everywhere. And that's
the end of it, isn't it? Gets no train leaves. He leaves. Yeah,
that's it. Now he's in the sequel, isn't he? Yeah. He starts up
in a sequel. He's got bit of a fatter face slightly, because it's
made about three years later, I think.
Yeah. And it starts to off of the police investigating him, talking to him.
So I don't know how they caught up him. I need to watch part two
again. And I did. I think I'd like to watch it again. I think I'm
probably gonna watch after watching, enjoying first, I reckon my night.
I'm not gonna bother with three because I thought three was really bad, to be
honest. There were good parts. Three started off well and then it went shit.
Three was terrible. But I liked to just probably
wrap up one. I like two because it still gives you that feeling of
being out on your own, like in the town when they're at that weird
town with all the weird traditions. It's almost a bit wicker, man. Yeah.
But anyway, one, that's how one ends. I mean, basically, the last 20
minutes is just unrelentless gore,
death, more and more crazy, ridiculous situations.
Children, bubblegum,
prostitutes getting run over, eyeballs,
bouncers, train suicides, old lady jizz shots,
strangulation and scalpel across the throat.
And that's the final 20 minutes of the film and you,
when the credits roll, you're like. I find myself sort
of like, oh, that was a ride, a big ride.
Yes. Good. It's a really good film. It's very enjoyable, isn't it, for the.
Was it, is it 90 minutes? Uh, it's about that,
yeah. It's an enjoyable film. It holds up really, really well
and you feel like you've seen it all before.
But actually this was the first one, really, of this
type of torture porn.
There's been a lot of films since that have copied it and tried to do
things like it. For example, I watched
about a year ago, watched the remake of I spit on your grave, and last
week I watched two out of three, which is the new versions.
However, they are quite good films. Unless, say, weirdly, I'm not a fan
of rape in films. And obviously those films revolve around a terrible
gang rape of a woman who then enacts revenge on all the men in it.
That's what those films are all about. But they are a bit like hostel in
that she then gets them into terrible situations and does terrible things to them.
Not bad films. And there's loads and loads of other films I'm not going to
list here, but hostel is definitely the number one. I think it's the kind
of king of it, really. And if Eli Roth, even if cabin fever isn't
the one that he's remembered for, which is my favorite, he'll always be
remembered for doing hostile. I think you've got a fucking
giant. Poster of it, haven't you, when the movie came
out? You know when you get those bus stop posters?
They're really big ones. I literally drove by one night finishing
work, so I work quite late. And I was driving by and
saw there's a little catch out on a poster.
And I thought, that can't be right. So the next night I drove by and
it's like, again. So I just pulled over instantly
and pulled out and yanked the whole thing
down. And, yeah, I have massive, massive, massive hostel posters
rolled up in a tube now because it's too big to go anywhere. Well,
yeah, I remember when you. Before you
had Daisy and Eli, obviously. You had downstairs studio.
Yeah, yeah. Used to have it up in there, didn't you? It took up one
whole wall. It's ridiculous. Yeah,
but, yeah, it's a great poster, but yeah, it's a good film. I give this
big, two giant thumbs up.
Like a real giant man who's got big thumbs. Put them up.
Yes, I give this definitely a Paxton severed fingers.
I give this. It's a great film. I'm sure most
horror fans have seen it.
Good, because it deserves to be seen. And it's.
It verges, it's, I think, where a lot of torture
porn, and I use that term loosely, films have gone wrong since is.
They've got too gratuitous. So, for example,
we both said certain scenes make us feel sick in some of the saw
movies. Yeah. Now I want to see the gore. You know, I'm a
horror fan, but I don't want to be made to feel too sick or
uncomfortable. And I think hostile, though, there are moments where it's.
It's gross, it's never too realistic. It's always
veers on the right side of. I don't want to say cartoony,
because it's not cartoony, but do you know what I mean? It's never too surgically,
like, medically accurate. It's just a bit crazy.
But horror films should be. I don't want too much medical accuracy in my
horror films. Otherwise it becomes. It just
becomes like watching a documentary about a hospital or something. I don't want to see
that. I want to see a ridiculous scenario, someone getting
killed, you know what I mean? But yeah, hostel's fucking
great. It's a great movie. All right, well,
tell you what, we should rock a little advert now and
then. Go into a bit of a world of estranged. You think? I believe
we should. I think we've got a very nice
valentine, sexy romantic story to talk about.
Oh, it's very sexy, isn't it? Right, let's get out of here and then come
back in a little moment. We also start up with Tristan's little
next little message comment thing for World of strange. So be
back royal soon. An evil Dead tv show? No way.
Negan is coming to the Walking Dead. That's awesome. Don't you guys think a
werewolf series is long overdue? Oh, hello there.
Are you looking for coverage of horror on the small screen that you can't find
on any other podcast? Then welcome to Evil Episodes podcast, where.
We take an in depth look at horror around the dial, covering everything from today's
hits like the Walking Dead, American. Horror Story, and the Strain, as well.
As looking back into the tv horror. Vault to discuss anthologies like tales from.
The crypt, Monsters, masters of horror. Yeah, but do any of those shows
have werewolves in them? What movies will become a tv series next?
Just how many more seasons will every CW show? Where would
they put some damn werewolves on tv? Tune in to evil
episodes podcast for all your horror on television needs and more. I need
werewolves. Hey, did I mention how Lovecraftian all this
actually is?
Hi, welcome back to World of the strange.
Ah, Bill. Cheers for that. Thanks, Bill.
You do know, Bill, that on your show once you had
a woman that predicted this Valentine's day
of 2016, that the world's gonna end.
Bummer. Yeah, Valentine's day.
Bummer. Let's hope that that doesn't happen. Anyway, thanks that,
Bill. Before we get into a world of strange, world of the strange,
we have our second, or, sorry, third little
message from Tristan, who is commented saying, according to the monster
squad, Wolfman has nods. Nods being
testicles, wolf man being the werewolf.
But is there any photographic proof? Hmm. I've not
seen photographic proof of a werewolf's testicles. Have you?
I honestly can't say I have, Gav. But I have seen
a photograph of a supposed werewolf. Used to
me, but it was shit. Yes. You won't be able to see testicles that,
would you? There's no testicles, but can
lick his own balls. Wolf man can as well.
Yeah. No, absolutely.
So Tristan on that one, all I. Would say, really,
I would say Wolfman does have nods. He licks
them. Unless, of course, he's been neutered. But there's no proof of that.
There isn't any proof yet. Who's gonna new to a wolf?
Wolf man. No one owns Wolf man. It's a man.
He's owns him. Yeah, but Dracula's
not gonna nod him d nard him. Should we say? He might do.
He might be fed up with him humping everything in the house, in the castle.
For God's sake, Wolf man, I must cut your balls off. But he cuts
his balls off and he gets Frankenstein's
monster to do it because he's like, skip strong, I guess.
And then they sort of clamp his balls and he becomes a bit of a
sadder. Wolf man really sort of stops humping everything,
but so loses the wheel to sort of chase frisbees around.
Okay, so back to Valentine's Day. Cheers. That. Three coins.
Thank you for that. Thanks to everyone that sent in a question. And. Yeah,
that's brilliant. We do that next episode, we do a little live thing, and everyone
pops up. We'll drop you down.
Yeah. So this is our romantic world of strange. Now,
I've before gone on dates
with girls, and I've said to them, do you want to go out for some
food? And I've gone out for food and stuff, you know, I've done. I have
done that sort of thing. It's a pretty common thing, Valentine's, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. I not gone
to the park and eaten out, so to speak,
at the park. Like, not a takeaway, but slightly
different. And I'm not talking about sexual time with the lady friend
when I say eaten out, but I'm saying, like,
established. That because I was envisioning you in. The park
getting arrested. Like, what's he doing in the park? Why are you doing that in
the park? But this is
a different type of romantic meal. Now, what happened,
Dan? All right, well, this takes place in good old Central
park in New York. Okay? So, you know, we're all
familiar with this. This is where Peter Venkman caught a jogger once.
A ghostly jogger. So a New
York couple. Yeah, hi. As usual, on methamphetamines.
There they go. They're always high on something. They were arrested on
Sunday after the police received 911
call, several 911 calls saying that they were harassing
people in the heart in Central park. So I won't say their
names, but the man was 32 and his girlfriend
was 23. Yeah. And they were reported by several
people, several phone calls as acting odd, shouting at people, people harassing people
in the park. They were screaming, jumping up and down,
spinning around in circles. That's the methamphetamines for you. So witnesses
say that the strange couple headed towards the edge of the park and then
quickly disappeared. The police turned up and they started searching the
park. And after about half an hour, they found the couple,
and they found them in the bushes, crouching down over
a homeless Mandev. And the
policeman says, we found a couple that met the description of the 911
calls we've been receiving. We identified ourselves and
asked them to turn around and stand up. And when
they did, their faces were covered with blood,
and the homeless man was crying out for help.
They'd already eaten off every single one of his fingers,
and they were beginning to chew off his toes when we arrived at the
scene. You've gone quiet.
It's just a weird one, isn't it? So what was what?
I love that. I love your face. You're just for the people, obviously, for listeners,
you can't see Gavin. Now, when I finished that sentence,
I looked at him, and his mouth was just wide open. Just looking
at me like, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. So due
to the severity of the situation, the cop says they had no
choice but to taser the couple.
We didn't know if they were armed or if they would attack us as well,
so we tasered both of them. But they still started lunging towards us,
almost like they were zombies. But that'll be the drugs. So two other
officers use their tasers as well. So they got tasered by four different tasers.
They're still coming at them. Eventually they fell to the ground and
they were subdued. The homeless man was rushed to hospital.
He's in stable condition, apparently, but he's lost all ten of his fingers and
four of his toes. Oh,
so they were just going for a finger buffet? Finger buffet,
gav. You got it.
So the couple are being held on no
bond under mental evaluation. According to a police report, the couple
claimed they were hungry and they hadn't eaten for five days. And they
say they had no choice but to eat the homeless man since he had nothing
going for him anyway.
Fuck it out. That wasn't all serious. So why did you.
Do you know what? Why did you do what you did? Oh, come on.
He had nothing going for him and we hadn't eaten for five days. What the
fuck do you want me to do, starve? I think it's more like a case
of, well, we. What, so did you.
You just decided he had nothing going for him? How do you know that?
He could have been a positive. And then she said,
well, we actually did sit down and chat to him for 1520 minutes
and he just didn't have a good outlook on life anymore and he was kind
of fed up. He's been alcoholic, his wife left him for another man, lost his
kids, blah, blah, blah. So we're like, well, why don't
we eat his fingers and his toes? We gave each
over the fingers and toes. We. After they eat in the toes, what they do
that? It is balls and dick. I don't know, because they're going for the real
petty things.
Yeah, they were done. Ears, probably unknowns, I suppose, but, like.
The poor guy, right? They're eating him live. Like, why isn't he fighting back?
Like, they're just biting his fingers off. Like actual fucking cannibals.
That's. You would be in shock, though, if you got a person on
both of your hands. Maybe you should slip wakes up. That's what they look like,
Gav. They don't look like an attractive
couple. They look like they're high on methamphetamine. Um,
they said, I've got high levels
of methamphetamine. Don't judge me. Don't judge me for being a person that
judges people. Okay, then. I've got a feeling.
I don't think those guys have anything going for them,
though. Oh, should we eat their fingers, Gavin? Well, I'm not gonna eat
their fingers. I don't need to, because then I'm just as bad as them.
That's the lesson we learn from this today, kiddies.
But that's the story, basically. There's nothing more to it.
And it's not a word of the strange in that. So they just sit here
and debate it. They're just hot. They're just hot as fuck. Yeah. And they're in
the park and they literally just. They're hungry and they go start
eating someone. So this ties into all these sort of bath
salt stories that you hear so much about where,
you know, people think, oh, it's a zombie. It's not. It's just a guy's fucking
high as a kite. I mentioned in the last
episode, I mentioned a
rapper called Big Lurch who smoked.
He used to smoke embalming fluid mixed in with
his splits. And I think I already told this story, but I'm very
gonna proof you mentioned it. He was arrested, covered in blood, naked,
because he'd. He was with a prostitute, and he ended up thinking
that the devil was inside her stomach. So he ended up trying to tunnel into
her stomach with his bad teeth and fingers and all
these people take these bath salts and shit. I mean, surely you must hear bath
salts make you fucking mental. Don't take them. People just still out there going,
what should we do tonight, Gav? Probably do these bath salts. Shall we?
Yeah, should be all right. And they're not. They're not actual bar sorts.
They're nicknamed bar sorts because they were. I think. I think it's because they're very
easily to get hold of. The same as bath salts.
I think. I guess I might be wrong there,
but, yeah, it's crazy, isn't it, because I drank. I drank some radox before.
I've had some bubble baths and I'm gone nuts. No,
I've got some bath water in my mouth when I've been in the bath and
I've been having a little lie down, bit of bubble baths gone in my mouth.
I haven't bitten anyone's head off. I've smoked, smoked soap in bombs,
all sorts. I haven't. I haven't done that.
But, yeah, it's just crazy, isn't the world, where people take drugs,
like, extreme drugs, which really fuck you up and
go and do this crazy, crazy shit.
And that's. That's our happy Valentine's Day.
World of the strange, really, isn't it? Now, Gavin, talking about the strange,
stop the press. I've just had an inbox request
from a lovely lady, and I kid you not, who's living
in Lael at the moment.
It's one of these fake ones. She says hello,
nice to meet you,
kiss. So it's one of these ones where, you know,
she wants to. Probably just wants me to give her. Should I give her my
bank details? Is that what it is? Thought you
were on about another person's. Chimed in on the older. No,
I've literally just had this now. It must be because it's the balance. Romantic people
know. People can feel the energy. Right now. The vibes are
going through. The vibes
are going through the. From our voices. The love is just
being spread everywhere right now. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, you're feeling
the love. Do a little jive. Spring your little bottom. Do a little spin
around. Say yeah to the person next to you. Tell him
you love them. Give a little kiss. I want to do. Guys, if you're on
your own, I want you to just touch yourself. No, no, forget that.
If you're with someone listening to this podcast, give a little kiss. Telling me love
them. Unless it's like a colleague or something,
and it's just. That'll just be weird. Don't touch them. Don't touch a colleague.
All right. Yeah. Strange. Pretty weird. Builder. The street bill.
Boo. That's all the time we've got for. This week on worldwide.
Next week, though, Kimmy, Ira, hairless pets,
weird.
And that was world of the strange. Thank you very much, Mister Bill Murray.
Now it's time for our little music segment, and in keeping
with a sexy Valentine's theme, we're gonna go
very sexy now with a bit of vamp Gab's. Just literally
spread his legs. That's great. Hey, Sharon stoned you.
He did. Jesus fucking Christ, my eyes.
Anyway, we're gonna get very sexy now with some music from the sexy
film starring the sexy Grace Jones.
And that's a sexy film called Vamp. Take it away, vamp.
I still remember.
I still.
I still remember where
I came from.
Love my.
No more to love.
Yeah. I started watching Ash versus evil Dead.
Oh, thank fuck for that. What did you think? Got six episodes in.
Really good. Really, really good.
The first episode is 40 minutes. The rest of them are only half an hour
each. It's exactly the right amount of time. I'm enjoying it. I haven't
got the other six. Yeah, I did have to illegally download them. No, I do
say this because I just couldn't know how else to get hold of them,
to watch them. And I think most people did,
really. It's the trouble with the UK. It's hard. It's very hard.
And I don't know why it should be so hard, though. And to
be honest, as soon as I prove it comes out, I'm gonna buy it anyway.
I don't buy dvd's anymore, but I'm gonna buy it. Well, exactly. Because it's
like you can rewatch, isn't it? It's Bobby. I actually watch
it in one sitting. Like a five hour film. Yeah. But I can't get hold
of the other six. So I'm. It's very frustrating. Oh,
fuck. I'm trying, but. Yes. Well, season two.
Have you heard who's gonna be in season two? No. Ted Ramey
has been casting it. I love Ted Raimi. They've cast Lee
fucking majors. The 6 million solid man has been cast in
season two. Amazing. Yeah. So, you know,
it's all kicking off. Bruce Campbell posted up something on Facebook the other
day. Season two kicking off soon. So that's really
good. And, you know, this is another reason why soon we're
going to do an episode about tv horror shows. Have you
seen anything new X Files, new X folds? You seen any
of that? I haven't watched any of it. I've heard it's got a bit comedic.
Have you heard they're making an omen tv show as well?
No. Called Thorn or something. And they're also making
a fucking exorcist tv show. So it's getting a bit ridiculous now.
The amount of tv shows that. From horror films.
Yeah, I don't. I don't really want all of it.
There's a few of them. I don't mind. What I tell you, that is,
we haven't talked about very much is Bates Motel.
And, you know, I think that's great. And that. That's coming back soon. Did you
watch the last season of Bates Motel? No, I've only seen one, two so far.
Oh, my God. Season three is where he starts getting into the weird shit.
Well, just kind of waiting for it to come on Netflix, then I'll watch
it. Same with Walking Dead. I've not seen.
This has been a sexy episode. It has
been very sexy episode. It's been lovely. Lovely.
I've had. I've had two candles burning the whole time, quite literally.
I'm not wearing any trousers below this desk, Gav. So you
can see. Oh, I can't see. Can I show you my balls? But they're there.
You should call me McLovin for this episode, I think. All right, McLovin.
I will do. And you can call me Bone man. Bone Mandy.
Yeah, baby. Bone man. Really gutted about my bone
tomahawk. I know. I wanted you to watch it so we could
talk about it. Yeah. I can't believe that. As you can see on the old
Facebook page I've posted a picture of me holding a copy. Damn you.
Fucking Amazon. I love Amazon, though. We can't really complain.
No, no. I just don't know why they didn't say it was not. And I
was like, why? That's quite cheap, boy. It's only like tennis overdose. That's quite cheap.
That's brilliant. Excellent. Well, I picked up on Amazon for $2.99.
I picked up, which I posted on the thing,
the Facebook page, that lovely little box set that you think
is a mill Creek one. It's got six films in it and it was two
pounds, 97 pence. Yeah, it's cool. It's got the terror.
The Jack Nixon, the hitchhiker.
The bat house on Haunted Hill. Oh, the hitchhiker of Rooker Hill.
No, it's got the original one, which I've never seen. I'd be quite interested.
It's got. I don't. I've not seen the terror either. With Jack Nicholson? No,
I've not seen that. No, it's Roger Cor, is when Roger Corman discovered Jack
Nixon and they were doing that, the sort of movie set film for like three,
four days in the castle. And they do the same couple of movies
on the same sets. I don't know. But they,
they sold well. They did all right. Be interesting to see them,
someone like Jack Nixon in an experimental way of, like,
shooting in the three or four days with Roger Corman. But I've never seen those
films. Really. Maybe we should do a Corman episode at some point.
We could do, because I'm a big. Fan of Bucket of blood.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course. Yeah. This evening, me and the kids,
we watched Joe Dante's the Explorers with
River Phoenix and Ethan Hawk. Do you know what?
As much as I love eighties films and those that. From that error, because I
never saw that film until about five years ago, don't connect with it at
all. Well, I listened to an interview of him and where he said he really,
the second half the movie wasn't his movie. It's taken away from him.
Yeah. It's not his car, it's not his what he wanted and he doesn't
like it. And watch the times, like the first half is kind of cool and
the second half is just was wacky. She fucking weird
thing. It did get really weird. I remember a friend of mine saying, you can't
believe you've never seen that. This, like, watch this now. And I remember just thinking
I was really into the first sort of 45 minutes and then just thought,
nah, nah, not at all. Not into this. Rob Boltin
does the older effects for it and stuff. It's like
little eighties vibe going on. Dick Miller. This is why I'm saying this, because the
cameo type things got Dick Miller with quite, quite a part as
well. Oh, good old Dick Miller. I do love him. Um,
things. I did watch a short film, very short film that you
made. Yeah.
There's a feature movie coming out called 60 seconds
to die with loads of different filmmakers
and they are all just doing 62nd films.
And I was asked to do one. I was asked to do one for a
grind exploitation. This is a compilation of different people
made, making excerpts or fake traders for
grind, grindhouse type stuff. Fake, you know, fake grindhouse movies.
And I didn't get chance to do it because I was doing pretty natural,
but I showed preaching natural to them. I said, sorry, I couldn't do it,
but here's pretty natural. And they really loved it. And the guy,
Tony Newton, who's produced it, who I've been chatting to,
he asked me to make a little segment for it. So I did and I
made this little short film where it's just me really,
with a thing called eyeglasses. Quite good,
though. Quite a funny little. I actually thought you just sent me a
clip of you for the first few seconds, just tying out
your Google eyeglasses or whatever, I thought, well,
all right, show off.
I won't spoil it. You might want to post it. I don't know what you
want to do with it. I don't know. Find a contract.
I probably wouldn't know. I'll probably keep it like just for that really, you know,
but yeah, it's quite fun. Nice little ending to it, isn't it? Yes, it works
better with sound effects. It's not as good without sound effects, funnily enough.
Really? Yeah, well, sound effects, you know, they do make up half of it.
I had my interview with old Nicholas Vince. Tell us all about this.
Chattering teeth chattering, you know, hellraiser Chatterer.
I tuned in and listened to that. It was quite fun. Oh, did you?
Oh, good on you. Of course I did. Yeah. I don't know.
I don't know. I didn't really rubbish at promote, really. I didn't re advertise
it much. I mean, it's quite fun just chatting away to him and stuff about
things. Then when he went off, we carried on
Chan to a direct on there. Mark. Mark Logan,
who's rats. Which sounds interesting.
Shot in a castle. He had access to a castle. So shot
on there. Quite cool. Be amazing, wouldn't it, if you had access to a castle.
You just shoot your films in there. Yeah. Yeah. So Nicholas Vince
is actually in it, you see? Anyway.
Yeah, that and did nothing. If you last week actually went
to. Went to a little place and been filmed for an interview for uk horror
scene and had makeup put on us and everything. Very,
very pro, you know, sexy sex.
Valentines that worked on Paul. I said to make up the
lady, I said, you're probably gonna have to use cement, but you give it a
go. And what did he say to that? He laughed off,
Gav. He kind of laughed at me. Be at his glass off. So he couldn't
see very well. So I don't know if he just didn't know if it's me
or just someone else who's been plugged.
Yeah. So that's kind of cool. It's a bit promoting stuff.
It's fun to do that stuff, really. This year so far has been
promoting stuff. But I started writing a new flick, actually.
I'm very excited by it. I sent you the synopsis, Dennis. Yeah,
I enjoyed it. I've taken out the acid bit.
Yeah, yeah, I'm not using that. It's too cheap. Yeah.
A few people mentioned. That's not very good. But yeah, it's a really good idea
and I'm gonna go ahead and do it. So you have to get involved somehow.
Of course I will. The good news is, Gavin, is that
nobody died since the last. No one in the horror
community. No horror community. But in my personal life.
In your personal life, no, no. Yeah. There was
someone who did pass away, actually. It was in the horror community.
Richard Gladman, the rest in peace british blogger.
He was made cyber
Chisel was his blog and webpage and stuff. And each
review movie stuff. And he reviewed Shadow once to
me, he kind of did it. We did a back and forth message, sent me
a massive message. That's kind of review of. It wasn't like a public review.
And I'm chatting back and forth and he passed away actually.
And then next day another person I knew, friend,
she passed away as well. Wow. This is 2016.
Very, very death oriented year, isn't it? It's odd.
Not just in the media, but for people around me and
you. Yeah, just all over the place. It just starts
to let you realize your existence. And I guess we're just
getting older as well. Do you see it in the news about the black holes?
Yeah, the gravitational. Where the two black holes went
into each other to form. Yeah. To show the gravitational pull thing.
And it was a 5 billion years years ago it happened.
And they managed to capture. How the fuck did Einstein know that?
Einstein knew it 100 years ago. He's fucking brilliant in.
He and Stephen Hawkins in
the late seventies I think predicted it also. Like something of what was happening
as well. Yeah, clever. Fucking clever.
Yeah. So they heard something which is like 5 billion years
ago. They heard it the other day.
It happened 5 billion years ago. Oh, what's that?
Oh, yeah, here. It's from 5 billion years ago. Those two black holes
were submerged in together. Oh. They had to change
the picture of it because it's so. I think it was too.
Must been too low. Made sense. Have been more too high not to have heard
it by human ear, but must been too low.
Yeah. So, yeah, they had to drop it even lower pitch just so we could
hear. This is sound. I got a
review that my mum did actually, for me. Oh, please can you record these?
She said, get your mom to do. Please get
your mum to do a review. Nick, you've got to go and do it.
It's important. Okay, I will do. I will do next show. She said,
I watched a brilliant film the other day. I said, oh, what was that?
It was on the horror channel. I said, oh, what was it? See if you
can guess it because I guessed it from the description. Oh, there's all these little
creatures living in the garden. And they were kept coming in the house
and there was like a no, no.
And she said, they kept coming in and there was, there was great effects,
really good effects. And I said, was Steven Dorf in it? She went,
yes, he was. I said, was it the gate? Oh,
yeah. Nice. She watched the gate and she loved it.
Oh, funny man. I'm gonna record her and see what
she says next time. Yeah, please. Every time she watched a horror channel movie,
just record it and send it to me and I'll post it. Talking. No,
the horror channel obviously shows some shit as well. Talking of next time.
Yeah. Next episode is going to be our Easter episode, isn't it? Yeah.
Yeah, totally. And critters two and aliens because we
did critters one and alien last Easter, so we thought we'd
keep the egg theme going for Easter and do those two movies. So that should
be fun. Yeah, so the. That's it. I hope
everyone's had a very romantic and sexy time and I'm gonna bid
you adieu. Audience thanks for the shoutouts,
listeners. It's a sexy
goodbye from me. And it's a smoochy smooch. I love you.
Kiss for me and other people.
Cannibals. Homeless fingerless people. Also,
when in doubt, just have a big sexy orgy. Fish fingers.
Oh, homeless fingers. Homeless man's fingers. Brilliant.
Laters. Latest guys,
thank you for listening to. The podcast on Haunted Hill. We will be back again
real soon.
No tears,